WEBVTT - Growth Through Marriage with Kadeen & Devale Ellis (How-To Monday) 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.800 Ba fam, we have another how to throw back for you, 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:06.320 of course we do. We're looking back at some of 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:10.600 our favorite episodes from days past for memorable guests, too 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:13.600 unforgettable moments. There's still so much to learn from the 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:23.880 b A Vault. Take a listen, willya. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:28.480 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown. 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:33.760 Ambition ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition. 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:36.240 Hey mannger, how are you good? 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:39.240 Morning in there? How are you good? 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:41.839 We have some extra black in black and black. I'm 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:43.520 brown ambition today, I mean. 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:47.760 Quaudruple, the chocolate today, Quaudruple, the Yes. I'm so excited 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.320 to have these guests on, y'all. Yeah, but these are 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.080 old friends of yours. I feel like, but this is 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.200 my first time meaning then, but it's yeah. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:54.760 I know. 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:58.280 Well, honestly, if you are listening, I can almost guarantee 0:00:58.280 --> 0:00:58.640 that you know. 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:06.600 Duvault and condide Elis. They'ven millennial married couple. 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:08.840 First of all, they're both I feel like it's not 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:10.920 fair for the gene pool that both they are beautiful 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:15.000 and both married somebody ugly, so that way we can 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.080 spread the well. 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:18.440 But no, they were like, no, we're gonna. 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:18.800 Keep it on the. 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:25.400 Kids are absolutely beautiful. 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:29.440 They have a podcast themselves called dead Ass with K 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:32.000 and D that have been on several times, and they 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:37.320 have a new book called We Over Me, The Counterintuitive 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:40.440 Approach to Getting Everything you Want from your Relationship, and 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:45.560 as of last week, they are New York Times best 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:50.280 selling authors. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.120 Welcome to the club. It's cute over here. 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:54.120 Thank you. 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.080 We can finally join you in some aspects. 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:57.200 Whatever. 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:03.080 No, I just I'm just like really proud of you. 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.440 I'm just so excited for you to be on here 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:05.880 with us. 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:07.880 Yes, thank you, so andy. 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.399 Well, you know you don't know them any question. 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:13.000 In person, but of course I know y'all like, of 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.400 course I listened to dead Ass and wait, remind me, 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.040 y'all got your start with a YouTube channel, right. 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.280 Actually we started with Instagram Instagram stology. 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:25.480 So for the people who haven't had the pleasure of 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.800 meeting the LSS yet, tell us a little bit about 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:31.160 how you got your start and how you came to 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.120 the point where you were like, let's put this into 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:37.079 a book. Our marriage, our relationship. These skills are so magic. 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:38.240 Everyone needs to know these. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.440 Well. The funny thing is we if you read the book, 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.480 you realize that We're not even talking about how magical 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:44.160 skills are. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.160 We talked about how messed up we were. 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:50.200 We were. We kind of figured things out that work 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:53.519 for us. But it actually started on social media. As 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.640 many people know, Kadeen is a host of TV hosts 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:59.320 and I'm an actor and since the first day we 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.120 met in college and we talked about what our dreams were. 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:03.560 Our dreams were to be in front of the camera. 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:09.200 Fast forward about ten years. I had retired from the 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.440 NFL and I was doing on auditions. I had booked 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.680 a bunch of national commercials and Kadeen was doing some 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.320 hosting and I was on Power, which is my third 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.280 time on prime time television. 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.000 And I was with my son, Jackson at the time. 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:28.120 Who was I think four, and he said, I come 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.240 on TV and we're all excited. My family's watching, and 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:33.359 he goes, Daddy, you always have on that outfit when 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.240 you were on TV. And I had on an orange 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.760 jumpsuit because that was my third time in the criminal 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:42.560 on television, and it hurt because I was like, I 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:44.880 was like, man, like here I am perpetuating the same 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.560 stereotypes that I'm trying to eliminate with all of the 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.600 work I do. I had a non for profit organization 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.680 in Brooklyn who are helping young men get into college. 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.680 So the very next day I had an audition for 0:03:55.840 --> 0:04:00.200 Blue Bloods and I'm going the audition and there are 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:02.280 two lines. There's a line for a turn in a 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.360 doctor and there's a line for inmate one and two. 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:08.000 Of course, I'm in there to audition for inmate one 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:09.440 and two. And I look on the line and there's 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.920 nothing but black and brown man. So then I asked 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:13.800 a question. I'm like, this is a co starring role. 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:15.760 I said, maybe if I just asked to let me 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:17.919 go into the other line. So why can audition as 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.080 an attorney or a doctor? And the lady was just like, no, 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.440 you know, we have specific audition times for specific people. 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:28.240 On that line, we're all white and Asian men. And 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:31.360 I walked out and Kading was like, man, that was 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:33.160 a fast audition. And I was just like, I didn't 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.039 do it. I'm not I can't do this anymore. And 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.240 she was like duvow. She just walked out of the audition. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.480 I said, I can't continue to perpetuate the same stereotype. 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.400 So she was like, well, what's your plan? I said, 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:47.280 Instagram has just instituted fifteen second videos. I'm going to 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.760 write little fifteen second like scenes for you and I 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:52.720 and we're going to map it out and have our 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.320 own little social sitcom called the Elysis. 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:57.960 And I was like, Okay, why do you want to 0:04:58.000 --> 0:04:58.360 do that? 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.640 Just think about it. If we can show people that 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:05.640 the black family exists, because at the time, it was 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.000 just me her and Jackson, and we can show them 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.800 what our love looked like, and it's just a regular 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:14.560 black family from Brooklyn, just grinding to make it through gentrification. 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.680 And we had so many things that we could argue 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.480 and debate about because we were coming from a man's 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.479 standpoint and a woman's standpoint, and we were using relationships 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:25.040 as our basis. And she was like, all right, if 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.640 you see it, I'm with it. Started to do these 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:31.640 little skits. Then Instagram turned into sixty second videos and 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.880 I was like, wow, I got sixty second instead of fact, 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:38.280 let's go. It started to blow up, and as it 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:40.680 started to blow up, the comment section started to be 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:44.240 you know, men and women starting to debate, like I 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:47.880 understand the vous perspective, I understand these perspective, and then 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:51.200 that transitioned into the podcast, and then the podcast transitioned 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:54.400 into the YouTube series that Elisis where we did fifteen 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.640 minute videos, which was a sitcom of our family. 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.000 And then the next natural step was a book where 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.800 we can actually write down all our thoughts and. 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.280 Tell our story, which we called the Brooklyn Love Story 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.920 and its totality without being shortened by you know, Twitter 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:12.080 limits or small Instagram limits. So it just transitioned into 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:13.480 a book and we wanted to tell our story and 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:14.360 our narrative, our way. 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.440 Did you see this? So the one I there was one. 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:19.320 That was like you guys went viral for it was 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.480 like this really cute picture, like or maybe a series 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:28.160 of pictures. I remember, Yeah, so that picture went viral. 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:30.920 But then the I didn't realize now the vall that 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:34.680 it was you. But it was this hilarious skit, Mandy. 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:35.919 I don't know if you ever saw it that, Like 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.640 Kadeen was like not there and the vall had to 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:42.320 like take the kids like grocery shopping or something, and 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.560 he was like, how your mother gets you out of 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:50.839 the house, your pants, your paint again. It was huh 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.320 freaking I mean the way I watched that like a 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:57.000 hundred times to watch like this. Dad struggle with like 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.560 taking the kids outside the house taked like he would 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:01.000 always be like, it would take you so long to 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:02.400 get the kids ready, and when he had to do 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:05.520 it himself, he could not believe that somehow she managed 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:06.520 to do all of this, and. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.120 He was like, I'm tired. I'm not to go back. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:09.600 If they hadn't even gone food shoping the world were 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.920 you supposed to be going? But that was the. 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.360 Skit that like put me on to be like, wow, like, 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.840 you know, I love that that it was real and 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.400 you know that this is what it looks like that sometimes, 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:22.200 you know, moms make these miracles happen. They make them 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:25.760 seem so effortless that like Dad's like, it can't be 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:27.960 that hard until it's time for you to do right. 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:34.640 Yeah, he definitely understood after that, I get it. 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:36.600 How many kids do you all have today? 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:40.760 So we have four total now our youngest year and 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.240 about fifteen months now, and Jackson, the oldest is eleven 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.200 to be twelve. And then we have six. 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:51.680 Wow, yeah, yeah, I think of it. I have one 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.720 and a half. Yes, I have a three year old 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:55.800 and I have a I have another one on the 0:07:55.800 --> 0:08:01.720 way in a couple of months, thank you so much. Yeah, 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:05.600 And honestly, I'm like, oh, sorry, what'd you say? 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.000 I said, we won't be adding anyone to anything over here. 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.440 I mean, I'm one of four, so I'm like, you know, 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.000 part of me is like, I mean, I was number three, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:17.480 so I'm not trying to go all the way to four. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:20.920 I'm like, maybe the third we got you, but no, 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:24.080 I'm my My husband and I are relationship. It's and 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.920 plus the pandemic and you guys have you know, lived 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:28.680 through that as a couple as well. I mean, how 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.120 do y'all see the dynamic of your marriage sort of 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:38.000 changing from one to two to three to four kids? Now? 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:41.199 I feel like after what after after three? 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.800 I was after two, after two? Whatever. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.280 Yeah, it's just like add another one, add another one, 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:47.880 another one. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:48.720 They'll figure it out. 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:53.959 We kind of like in the same direction after a while, 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:55.319 and your hope for the best. 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:55.640 You know. 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:57.800 The nice thing we have, the age difference that we 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:02.920 have is that Jackson's now almost twelve. He's literally conducting himself. 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:03.280 Like a grown man. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.280 It's insane to see how responsible and how mature he is. 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:08.839 And we're both the oldest of three and we can 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.200 see a lot of those similar qualities in him where 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:14.320 we're like, oh, he's definitely a leader, he's a nurturer. 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:16.560 So it's nice sometimes to kind of be like, hey, 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:18.640 look out for your brother. So since we travel a 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.480 lot for work, you know a lot of times we 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:22.360 have parent guilt leaving because we're like, oh my god, 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:25.440 we I feel again. And you know, Jackson literally like 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:28.000 holds it down. It's so funny. We was having a 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.280 conversation with Zaval and I I'm like, you know, text 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:31.760 the driver and let him know that we don't need 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:33.480 him anymore. He has to come later to pick up 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:37.000 someone else. And Jackson's like literally over here like texting 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:41.800 between us the driver. I got you to worry about it. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:44.480 We couldn't text because it didn't have an Apple phone, 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:48.000 so we were like that we need somebody to get contact, 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:51.040 and we hit our eleven year old send him the number, 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.160 and then he sends us the screenshot that he sent 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.080 the driver a your black My dad said, don't worry 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.000 about coming. But it's funny how he's so on it. 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.160 And I mean he's got like a head like an 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:07.400 ear piece on lord grown up. While he's changing a 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.559 diaper background. 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:13.320 Like making grilled cheese. It's so funny, but it's really 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:14.360 dope to watch. 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:18.400 When you had that idea to start Instagram videos like financially, 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:21.200 I mean, what was the conversation, like, you know, I'm 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:24.640 going to stop taking on these roles, which I know 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.640 we're not the best, and obviously we're super you know 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:31.240 you're a pigeonholed, which is awful, but as a couple, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.760 how did y'all handle that? Financially? We have so many 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:38.040 listeners who are constantly asking us right to like, how 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:40.560 do y'all manage your finances and like how do you 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:43.040 you know, get on the same page. And it's one 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:44.840 thing to manage it when you're both got like nine 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.400 to five jobs. It's another thing when one of y'all 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:49.679 is like, I'm going to leap off this cliff. You don't, 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:50.240 let's go. 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:51.120 Oh for sure. 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.280 One thing that I knew that we could not be 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.559 was no starving artists family. That's the fact that she 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:00.360 wanted to be an actor. That's amazing. I'm go go 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:02.440 about it, but how are you going to make this 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.720 happen financially? Because at that point, what year was it? 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.840 We moved the NFL, you retired, and then we moved 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:12.640 back to New York and Brooklyn, and that's when we 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.400 kind of had to start over again. So our story's 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:19.120 a little interesting because it went from being broken college 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.160 to the valut getting money in the NFL, to us 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.520 losing everything in the recession back in two thousand and eight, 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:25.200 and then having to rebuild again. 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.600 And the biggest thing is I've always had plans, and 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.240 I've always included Kadeen in my plans. On our very 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.640 first date, Kadeen said to me, what do you want 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.360 to do with your life? We were eighteen years old, 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.280 sitting in my dorm room, my very first date, and 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.280 Martin was on television and I said I want to 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:44.080 do that and she was like, what's that? And I said, 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.000 I'm going to act. And this is the moment, realistically, 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:49.520 when I knew I had a partner or someone different. 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.280 She didn't laugh, she didn't get how are you going 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.040 to da da da? She said, Okay, how are we 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.520 going to get there? And it was the how are 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.120 we going to get there? To me? 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.560 That was kind of interest even like wow. First of all, 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:02.199 she didn't laugh. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:06.160 Second of all, she included herself in my dream, which 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.560 made me in that moment, feel like she believes in 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:10.760 my dream as well, which made me feel good. So 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.520 then I told her, I said, well, if I make 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:15.280 it to the NFL and I make a practice squad, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:16.880 I can make a hundred This is at eighteen. Now, 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:18.959 I said, I can make one hundred thousand dollars in 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:20.640 four months. We can put a down payment in the 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.480 Brownstone in Brooklyn, we can run out the upstairs two floors, 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.680 we can live in the basement part, and we could 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.160 We don't have to be starving artists because the rent 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:29.280 will cover the mortgage. 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.520 And she was like, wow, eighteen at eighteen, and I 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:33.199 was like, what. 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.480 You had a good one. I was not talking about 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:38.520 down payments at eighteen. 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.720 But the funny thing is that's the way my brain 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.839 always worked. So as I got to the NFL, of 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:46.959 course I bought property, I did all the right things. 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.560 The recession hits and I get cut in the same 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:53.199 three months. Like the recession hit that summer of two 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.160 thousand and eight, I get cut in September two thousand 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.280 and eight. So then for the next four months we 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.160 were trying to figure out which this income then come 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.880 in because I had bought multiple properties, and now I 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:04.000 have no income coming in. 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:06.360 Her full part about that, too, is just like we 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.840 did all of the right things, Like he's so dealing 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:12.600 to like his business acumen and his financial acumen was 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.800 so far beyond anything I had experienced, so I knew 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:17.319 he was doing the right things. I was like, he's 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.080 not throwing bands in the strip club. I mean, you know, 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:21.400 he's out. We were doing all the right things with 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.280 his money, and then here we are back to one. 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:28.199 So when I decided to retire, I told kay, I said, listen, 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:30.960 give me some time. I will get us back to 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:33.240 where we were when I was playing board. And this 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:35.160 is where the partnership comes in. And we worried about 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:38.160 this in the book, I said to Kadeen, I'm cut. 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:41.040 We don't have insurance. All I need is for someone 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.520 to have insurance. You're pregnant, so to make sure that 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.160 we can cover the baby. Stuff like that. Kadeen took 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.280 off her engagement ring and put it in her jewelry box, 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.680 got on that B forty four bus and went to 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.480 the mall and said, I need a job. And her 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:55.640 biggest focus was getting a full time job so that 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:58.480 we can get insurance. So my answer to that question was, 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.120 anytime there was a financial issue you I never hit it. 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.480 We talked about how we were going to get ourselves 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:07.640 out of that financial situation together. She was never to know, 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.280 too stuck up to pull up our bootstraps and say 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.880 I'm gonna go work. I worked as a substitute teacher. 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.400 I worked as a color commentary on MG varsity. I 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.400 did personal training. There was no job that was beneath 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.800 me in order to provide for my family, and my 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:23.400 wife felt the same way. So during those times, we 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.600 just worked harder. We did multiple jobs, multiple tasks, until 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.160 we got to the point where we could say, you 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.240 know what, I want autonomy over my time. Now I'm 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.440 going to quit this aspect and just focus on this. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.280 And Instagram was able to provide that for us when 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:38.080 the brand partnership deals started to come up. 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.680 So what are the conversations like now about money? Now 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:45.000 that like you're off the struggle bus, you know, and 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.120 you're like, so I'm curious, like where are you? So 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:48.920 it's like, you know, in the beginning, like so many 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:51.880 new entrepreneurs, there's this struggle and then there's a space 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.120 where it's like I'm kind of okay, and then there's 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.360 a space where it's like, no, I'm solidly okay. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:58.080 And then hopefully. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.360 There's a space where it's like I'm beyond okay, doing 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:01.040 really well. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.280 So where are you in that space? And then how 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.160 have the conversation shifted? 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.960 Well, right now, we're beyond okay. We're doing extremely role. 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.560 I'd like to say. We live in abundance. And the 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.520 first thing we do is we have a fiduciary responsibility 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.560 to pay forward. You know, I feel like no one 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:20.200 should live in abundance without being a gift to other people, 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:21.640 because this is a gift to well. So that's the 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:25.440 first thing. The second thing is all about about wealth building. Now, 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:28.520 how can we prepare our children to be in this 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.440 space regardless of what happens to them in life. It 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.200 doesn't matter if I mean, of course we want through 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.040 the graduate in high school and go to college or 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.400 learn the trade or do something. But I want to 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:41.480 be able to have my children live freely on this planet. 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:42.800 And that's what the goal is. 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.400 Now. What things can be put in place to make 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:46.680 sure our children okay? 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:50.920 And it's funny Tiffany and Mandy, because it did out 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.960 for a long time has to school me on the 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.440 financial world and how things work. I was not good 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.160 with money, and not to say that I was a 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.560 frivolist spend or, but for example, Deval gave me or 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:05.560 put me on his credit card a little bit after. 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.840 What was it the NFL this two thousand and six, 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:10.480 I was, I was a working the NFL, and I 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.040 was trying to help with. 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.080 Build a credit, right because at this point my parents 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.360 hadn't really explained anything to me about credit or anything. 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.840 So he added me onto his credit card. So I'm thinking, oh, 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:23.200 I got like money for sad and I could just 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:26.600 pay it back at my leisure. And I didn't realize 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:28.320 that at the time I, you know, put the card. 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.240 I think it was like fifteen thousands, was like the 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.480 with the max and I was just making like small 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.360 payments like oh twenty five thousand a month, you know, 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:38.280 not knowing. 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:41.000 Anything about adults. 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:41.360 Right. 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.520 So there's that things that we were in being broken 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:47.840 and going back to Brooklyn having to rebuild. Even in 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:51.000 the space that we're in now, I still sometimes move 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:53.760 with caution, like I don't want to buy this, or 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.760 what's the budget for that? And that was like my, my, my, 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:01.400 look at the person that just seems to be like 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:03.800 I don't know if you guys have seen this, like 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.120 a video going around a viral where someone has their 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:11.320 Apple parent They're like charging everything everywhere, And I just 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:13.639 can't get used to that now because I'm still living 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.359 in this sense of fear sometimes like what if it 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:17.600 all gets snatched away? 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:18.119 You know. 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.639 But Devell has helped kind of ease that anxiety in 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.359 meet and then you know, like, Okay, now we have 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:26.000 certain things allotted, like the children will be okay, we 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:28.639 will be okay, like these people and things that we 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:30.879 have in place will make it so that we're okay, 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:32.800 Like you don't have to live like that. But also 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.359 to us feel like it's a more stressful environment like 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:39.320 that whole more money, more problem situation, because now we 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:43.359 are technically employing a large group of people to work 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.320 for us, to help us create the content that we have. 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:51.040 So now I'm thinking about how many people's livelihoods we're 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.920 responsible for, and that's a different kind of pressure when 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:55.919 you think about it, it's like it's not just about us. 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:58.360 It's trying to make sure that our people around us 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.719 are also staying aflow so that's an added layer of stress. 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:05.919 Like back in November, Devell had this breakdown unlike anything 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.160 I've seen before. I know he doesn't mind sharing. 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:10.560 It because he's spoken about it. 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:14.280 But he was filming his I think it was sixties 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.680 and insists or Ta tema and I'm pretty much passed 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.760 out on set and when I spoke to him and 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.439 I'm like, hey, you know, I'm a Jamaica at a 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:24.359 wedding and I'm like, you know, what's going on? And 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.600