1 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm good. How are you? Nice to meet you? 2 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 2: Nice to meet you. I love the wallpaper. 3 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,639 Speaker 3: It's brand new. I'm so happy you said it. The 4 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 3: reason I was a few minutes late. This is the 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 3: first time I've ever recorded in this new space, and 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 3: I'm feeling myself and so this is Valentine's Day, but 7 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 3: this is my new wallpaper. 8 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: Yay. I'm so happy you complimented me. 9 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad that I noticed that, and I love love, 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: so of course i'd see that. 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: Well, that's a great way to start. 12 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,919 Speaker 3: So I saw something of yours and I forwarded it 13 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 3: to my team and said, can you book this guy? 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 3: I don't even remember what I saw, so we'll get 15 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 3: there eventually. But what would you say you specialize in? 16 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 3: Would you your your are your life coach? You are 17 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 3: a therapist? 18 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: Like? 19 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 3: What is your background? What do you call yourself if 20 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 3: you're on a plane with someone? 21 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 2: Uh, Well, out there in the world, I'm known more 22 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 2: as the mind architect. I don't particularly like the Monica 23 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 2: life coach. I think it's sort of somewhat diluted, but agreed, 24 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 2: the mind architect is something that I generated necessity being 25 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 2: the mother of invention, I felt there was a void, 26 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 2: and it felt appropriate that I'm re architecting people's in 27 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: a thinking space. So my main product is freedom. I'm 28 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 2: bringing people freedom from all of their limitations, fears, and constraints. 29 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 3: That's interesting because another guy who's on the show sometimes 30 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 3: with me, where do you live? 31 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 2: I am based in Nevada in Tahoe, Okay. 32 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 3: There's a guy in LA that I've known for literally 33 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 3: I think twenty five years maybe, and he has a 34 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 3: course called the Freedom Course. And it's not exactly what 35 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 3: you talk about specifically, it's different, but the understanding is 36 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 3: the same, where it's like freeing yourself from the normal 37 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 3: constructs or whatever's going on. 38 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 2: So who's the guy in La that you know? 39 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 3: Maybe breckcast Okay, So he has a quoe he's on 40 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 3: here sometimes about He's got all these different core confusions 41 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 3: and these constructs that are interesting. 42 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: You like him. 43 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 3: So you're re wiring how people are thinking about everything 44 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 3: from business to relationships. I would assume that relationships is 45 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 3: probably a big bulk of it. 46 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 2: Right, It is a huge pole anything that is to 47 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 2: do with the human experience. I help people transcend correct. 48 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 3: And it's funny because I recently was saying that I 49 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 3: don't understand why emotional intelligence and how people engage is 50 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 3: not taught in school. It's one of the biggest problem. 51 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 3: It's the biggest problem that people ever face in their life. 52 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 3: If sixty percent of marriages are going to end up 53 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 3: in divorce and it's going to be such a traumatic 54 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 3: experience like a death, why in schools kids aren't taught 55 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 3: anything about emotions or how to deal with them. 56 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 2: It's a great question. We could argue many sides. Perhaps 57 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 2: it's because that's if you want to get into conspiracy. 58 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 2: You know, that's the way that the powers that be 59 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 2: get to control people. Right If people are not as 60 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 2: evolved and they don't have the wherewithal to critically think, 61 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: it's much easier to control. But yeah, it's a great question. 62 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: Many people have asked me to create syllabuses for schools 63 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 2: because of that very same reason. 64 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you're talking about how people are using 65 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,119 Speaker 3: their bodies and sex, but it's not about how they're 66 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 3: using their emotions, which is obviously more important than physical 67 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 3: So what do you find the biggest problems are now 68 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 3: in relationships? Like the biggest commonalities that you're running into. 69 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: I mean, they run the gamut. You know, for women, 70 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 2: it tends to the primal tendencies, the patterns that we see. 71 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 2: For the feminine it's to be beautiful. For the man, 72 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 2: it's to be strong. Right, these are deep in our DNA, 73 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 2: so you've got the alpha male. So nowadays, unfortunately, men 74 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 2: tend to be a little bit more on the boy 75 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 2: spectrum right where they're still looking for acknowledgment, They're wanting 76 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 2: to be reassured. They haven't had these traditional rights of 77 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 2: passage that a lot of boys used to go through 78 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 2: where they had to go out to the world for 79 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 2: three or four days and survive and in more tribal terms, 80 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 2: you know, become a real man. And in women, especially 81 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 2: with social media, there's just an inordinate amount of pressure 82 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 2: and stress on appearance and beauty. So I find that 83 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 2: in relationships most people actually don't know how to relate 84 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 2: because people don't know how to listen. They tend to 85 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 2: just react. The primordially imperative of every mammal is to survive. 86 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 2: And so whatever our deep traumas are based on our childhood, 87 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 2: I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, or I'm not safe, 88 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be Okay, whatever it is, it 89 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: creates people's patterns. That tends to be the thing people 90 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 2: are relating to, not the other person. So relationships tend 91 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 2: to be the conduit for awakening. But also, as you've 92 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 2: seen a lot of dysfunction, So relationships are beautiful because 93 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 2: they're the catalyst for awakening. If you know how to 94 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 2: listen and instead of blaming the other person, see where 95 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 2: you're being triggered by something, that's the opportunity for growth. 96 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 2: But most people don't tend to look through that lens. 97 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,239 Speaker 3: So how much do you think people can really change? 98 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 3: If you're you know, if your experience, people are always 99 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 3: like if you if someone shows you who they are, 100 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 3: believe them. These things that people say, Where do you 101 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 3: stand on if someone shows you who they are, believe them? 102 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 3: Is it different if they have the desire to change? 103 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 3: Or how much can someone really change? 104 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 2: Yeah? For sure. I mean I just did a podcast 105 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 2: with a beautiful woman I don't know how she is, 106 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 2: mid late fifties, and she like you had never met 107 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 2: me before, And she's literally a different woman by virtue 108 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 2: of the conversation because some of her stuff going to 109 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 2: the surface. She is willing to look at it. So 110 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 2: people can change if you're in the right audience, if 111 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 2: you're with someone who knows how to listen and to 112 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,239 Speaker 2: help navigate some of these constraints. It's not very common, 113 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 2: unfortunate because people don't hold that kind of space of 114 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 2: unconditional love. They tend to just react. So yes, that 115 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 2: expression of you, you know, if someone shows you who 116 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 2: they are, believe them. I get it. But I do believe. 117 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,159 Speaker 2: I mean, I've had someone in my master mind who 118 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: was seventy four, who was suicidal, and now she's living 119 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 2: a life of complete vitality. So it gets harder the 120 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 2: older we get, just because our conditioned patterns are a 121 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 2: little bit more reinforced. But change is absolutely possible. I mean, 122 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 2: that's the I'd say the foundation of my work is 123 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: introducing humans to a different version of themselves. 124 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 3: So two people meet and they really fall madly in love. 125 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 3: They are just great together, but logically they may not 126 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 3: be compatible, meaning they can't match it up. Once that 127 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 3: sort of new car smell goes away, then they meet 128 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 3: someone else, and that's more sensible. Like I don't mean 129 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 3: to bring that up because I don't know them and 130 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 3: I don't know their relationship, but the image of what 131 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 3: it seems like is like there's Ben Affleck and Jennifer 132 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 3: Garner who seems sensible and like and loving and solid 133 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 3: and stable, but it seems like Jennifer Lopez is who 134 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 3: he's the most alive with. And you know, and then 135 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 3: so why does someone have to choose one or the other? 136 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 3: How does someone find both in a relationship. Either they 137 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 3: enter into it with the stable person and then find 138 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 3: the fun or they enter into it with the fun 139 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: person and find the stable or or maybe not fun 140 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 3: but alive like that that electricity, because the truth is, 141 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 3: I've experienced that electricity and it is so amazing, and 142 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 3: it's sustainable, meaning for a while, like even on vacations 143 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,559 Speaker 3: and weeks. And I've also experienced the stability, which feels 144 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 3: really safe. But I'd almost rather the aliveness, although it's 145 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 3: torture when when when the aliveness is there but the 146 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 3: stability isn't. And it's also torture when the stability is 147 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 3: there but the aliveness is and it's sort of boring. 148 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 3: You feel like you're really settling in a different way. 149 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. I write a lot of quotes, and so one 150 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 2: that comes to mind is freedom without structure. Is chaos, 151 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 2: and so you know that sort of speaks to the two. Right, 152 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 2: freedom could point to the aliveness and the vitality structure 153 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 2: could be the stability you speak of, right, and so 154 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 2: without both, So it is a dance of having both. 155 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: One of my more popular quotes that people love, I say, 156 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 2: life will present you with people in circumstances to reveal 157 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 2: where you're not free. And so whoever you date, you're 158 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 2: going to get triggered where you're not free, meaning where 159 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 2: have you not actualized and realize what is on the 160 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 2: other side of your own fears and limitations. So, whether 161 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 2: you pick the fun or whether you pick the stability, 162 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: the good news is you're still going to have to 163 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 2: come up against where you not free as a being. 164 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 2: For me, the whole dimension of Planet Earth, this paradigm 165 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 2: that we're in is to transcend the constraints with which 166 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 2: we arrive. So in one way, everybody's the right one 167 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: because they're going to push your buttons in whatever way 168 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 2: is appropriate for you. And that's the good news. Right. 169 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 2: If you're committed to a relationship, that is that's the 170 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 2: main focus. Right, that people want to stay together, that's fine. 171 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 2: But I interviewed someone interviewed me for a TV show, 172 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 2: this producer, and he was upset because he'd gone through 173 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 2: a divorce recently. This is a big guy here in Hollywood, 174 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 2: and he was reminiscing about how growing up he just 175 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 2: so idolized his parents because they'd been together for fifty 176 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 2: years or something, and he felt like a failure because 177 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: he'd got divorced after three Yeah, of course, And I said, yeah, well, 178 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 2: describe the you know, dynamic of your parents' relationship, and 179 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 2: when you get into it, they hadn't slept in the 180 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 2: same bedroom for something like thirty plus years, you know, 181 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: and it's like, okay, so success the fact that they 182 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 2: stayed together and. 183 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: Checked the box for like, yeah, exactly. 184 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 2: And so for me, I'm not interested in that. You know, 185 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 2: where did the soul leave the building? You know? 186 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 3: So that's exactly That's like the Jones is that everybody 187 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 3: else will We just celebrated fifty years. That's your identity, 188 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 3: that's your personality, But like, how are you living day 189 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 3: to day? 190 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 2: Exactly exactly. Yeah. So for me, I'm much more interested 191 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 2: in a vital life life where my main product, as 192 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 2: have said, is freedom. So I want people to be 193 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,839 Speaker 2: fully alive, you know, to feel vital in every area 194 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 2: of their life expressed. Yeah, and that's up to the 195 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 2: individual to discover that versus we tend to point fingers, 196 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 2: especially in relationships, if only my husband or if only 197 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 2: my wife, you know, there's this sort of agenda that 198 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 2: I would be okay if you know, but then you're 199 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 2: a victim of life, and that's just not what I teach. 200 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 3: So you're saying, if you have the alive thing and 201 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 3: both people are committed, it's about the commitment, because you 202 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 3: could find your way through anything, but it has to 203 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 3: be the level of commitment to then be able to 204 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 3: do the work, is what you're saying. 205 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 2: That's definitely one of the biggest components, and especially sadly 206 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 2: from the male side, and I can speak from my 207 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 2: own experience, I think women are much better at being 208 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 2: all in and fully committed. I think it's part of 209 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 2: the DNA in the biology of a woman to want 210 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 2: to be you know, associated and aligned with a partner. 211 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 2: I think men tend to be a little bit more 212 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 2: skittish and scared and they don't fully commit, which ironically 213 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,080 Speaker 2: then becomes a vicious cycle. Right because one of the 214 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 2: primordial things that a woman wants his safety, and if, 215 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 2: as the intuitive beings that you are, you don't feel 216 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,959 Speaker 2: held or safe in the presence of your man because 217 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: he's not fully committed, that's when more of these masculine 218 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 2: tendencies come out, and the feminine or you know, the 219 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 2: guys will be like, oh, well, she's just so naggy 220 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 2: and she's such a bitch. I'm like, well, chances are 221 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 2: you're not fully committed, so she doesn't feel safe. So 222 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 2: commitment is, I would say, much more incumbent upon the 223 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 2: masculine to hold that container. 224 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you. I like that. 225 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 3: I think that's interesting, and I think it's like to 226 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 3: break it down that commitment is the is the most 227 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 3: important thing because even in business, if you want it 228 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 3: and you have a good product, it's going to be 229 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 3: really hard to be successful. But if you're committed to it, 230 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 3: you probably could do it if you have a good product, 231 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 3: and the alive relationship is the good product. So that's 232 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 3: This is something that I've been talking about a bit 233 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 3: because I think it's a I think it's actually what's 234 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 3: it called when like something's chronic, it's like an epidemic. Okay, 235 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 3: I think this is a relationship epidemic that no one 236 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 3: talks about. And I think it's really interesting because I've 237 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 3: now seen it in the wild so many times. So 238 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 3: I was on a girl's podcast yesterday. Young girl. Obviously 239 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,559 Speaker 3: she doesn't know it. I didn't know until it was 240 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 3: fifty four, but I was explaining it to her because 241 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 3: she's the one who needs to hear it at twenty four. 242 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 3: So the young girls are being marketed the ring, the wedding, 243 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 3: the honeymoon, get the this, get the that, And in 244 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 3: many cases it's sort of like a calling card to 245 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 3: say to your other friends, like no, I don't really work. 246 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 3: He doesn't really want me to work and to go 247 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 3: out and shop and go to lunch. And it sounds 248 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 3: in the moment like I'm being judgmental about it. And 249 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 3: let's say, for the sake of this conversation, I'm not 250 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,199 Speaker 3: being judgmental about You can want whatever you want. You're 251 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 3: allowed to want to be home, to eat bombbonds, whatever 252 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 3: you want to do. You could want to be a 253 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 3: mom at home, whatever it is. You want a shop 254 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 3: all day. I don't care what anyone else does. Okay, 255 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 3: here's what I've found, and it's crazy. So I've been 256 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 3: meeting men that are in their fifties on the average, 257 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 3: some of the late forties, some are sixties, but like, 258 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 3: on the average, in their fifties. Out of ten men, 259 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 3: because I'm taking the last several years of my dating era, 260 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 3: out of ten men, I have met four men that 261 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 3: have all that I've seen have all have full custody 262 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 3: of multiple children, like three four, two to four children. Okay, prime, 263 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 3: they have sole custody. The wife who was very much involved, 264 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 3: who they had a nice marriage with, has gone off 265 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 3: the deep end, either drinking or pills or whatever it is. 266 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 3: And I said to two of them, I asked, because 267 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 3: I had a theory about it. I said, is let 268 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 3: me guess? I said, So, you met someone. She's beautiful, 269 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 3: You're you're the breadwinner, she's interesting, and this is what 270 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 3: you guys both signed up for. 271 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 1: She's not gonna work. 272 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: She's going out of the French going to raise the 273 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 3: kids because you have all these kids, and she's doing 274 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: the costumes and she's being part of the community. And 275 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 3: you guys are going on these great vacations and then 276 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 3: the kids go off to school and you're thriving, you're 277 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 3: continuing to be handsome and work out and successful and 278 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 3: glow up in your career and be smarter and talking 279 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 3: to interesting people as society changes in business and being 280 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 3: an entrepreneur. And she's basically now the kids are grown 281 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 3: and she's sitting drinking wine and popping pills and has 282 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 3: no purpose. And each guy, even of all four, is like, yeah, 283 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 3: and I told her she should do something. She should 284 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 3: own a store to start a charity, which is like 285 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 3: literally so degrading and giving them a cookie because now 286 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 3: it's like, you're fifty. The woman's fifty three years old. 287 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 3: She's not as hot as she was, and now we're 288 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 3: going to open a store for her and like hand 289 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 3: her a cookie while you're thriving. And we got two 290 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 3: guys I asked and described it like that. We're like, 291 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 3: you're literally bullseye. It's really on both parties parts. The 292 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 3: guy thought the girl was going to be happy with 293 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 3: that business deal too. They both enter in. He thinks 294 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 3: he's going to be happy with that partner, and he's 295 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 3: born out of his fucking mind because he's nothing to 296 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 3: talk to her about. And she's miserable because she's watching 297 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 3: him succeed and she's watching women rise up and succeed, 298 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 3: and she's sitting in a cul de sact, drinking wine 299 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 3: and popping pills and she checks out completely because she 300 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 3: has a breakdown. This is what's happened with four different people, 301 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 3: from addiction to mental all of it. 302 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you're not wrong. 303 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 3: So what do you what do you what do you 304 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 3: think about that? What do you have to say about that? 305 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 3: About the constructs being set up in society for young 306 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 3: women in particular? 307 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 2: I mean one of the distinctions I make that has 308 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 2: certainly appealed to and touched in maybe a little discomfiting 309 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 2: way a lot of women out there, millions of women 310 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 2: who've heard the distinction is I think one of the 311 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: greatest qualities of being the feminine is your resilience. Right. 312 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 2: The resilience occurs on both sides, like men are resilient 313 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 2: in different ways, but I think the feminine of the 314 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 2: two is way more resilient in your capacity to withstand 315 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 2: everything from first of all, sadly the way you've been 316 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 2: treated by men for centuries, but also just childbirth and 317 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 2: child rearing and breastfeeding, and you know, women are tough 318 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 2: as nails, right, Like I think it was Betty White 319 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 2: who had that joke about you know, gross at of balls. 320 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 2: She's like, balls are sensitive, you know, forget that, you 321 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 2: know vagina right, that bing can take a pounding, is 322 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 2: what she said, you know, to quote her. So what 323 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 2: I've realized in my work over the last three decades 324 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 2: is that that resilience for a woman, which is an asset, 325 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 2: had a beautiful quality, meaning that you ladies, can pretty 326 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 2: much withstand anything when it's coupled with the psychological underlying 327 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 2: constraint of inadequacy, meaning that the woman feels somehow not 328 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 2: enough right, not pretty enough, not whatever enough right. That's 329 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 2: part of the construct human. But the coupling of your 330 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 2: resilience with a feeling of inadequacy in the feminine leads 331 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 2: to tolerance, and tolerance is very different than resilience. And 332 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 2: so what happens is because you can withstand whatever it 333 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 2: is fill in the blank, halm, abuse, boredom or being 334 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 2: dis by your moralization, yeah, whatever it is that you do, 335 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 2: because if it's in the realm of not recognizing your 336 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 2: own worth and value, which again is a very common 337 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 2: thing for all humans, then it turns into tolerance. So 338 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 2: these case studies that you're citing you know. My assertion 339 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 2: is that those women found what they thought was, you know, 340 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 2: maybe a comfortable situation, but from a position of not 341 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 2: honoring their own worth, and so they put up with 342 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 2: which is the tolerance, and then in the absence of that, 343 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 2: they don't know what to do anymore because they never 344 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 2: nurtured that sense of self value for themselves. 345 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 3: Right. And also it's connected to what you said about beauty, 346 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,679 Speaker 3: because I think it's based in superficiality. It's based in 347 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 3: what do I look like? And I think it's about 348 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 3: getting the guy. It's about the guy as like an 349 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 3: asset versus compatibility. It's kind of like people are goal oriented. 350 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 3: They just want to get the X and then they're 351 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 3: sitting in it and it's not based on commitment or 352 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 3: compatibility per se. I think. So I just think that this. 353 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 3: I cringe when I hear these young girls and I 354 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 3: watch them all over social media, you know, talking about 355 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: wanting to get the rich guy and get to this 356 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 3: guy is going to take care of me and all this. 357 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 3: I'm thinking, like you're on a road to misery, and 358 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 3: that young women just can't understand and their mothers need 359 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 3: to be guiding them in this way. And I'm trying 360 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 3: to do that and talk about it a lot because 361 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 3: I think it's really important. I think it's affecting society, 362 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,119 Speaker 3: it's divorces, and it's affecting kids like all of them. 363 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 3: It's like it's a major mental health issue. 364 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 2: It is, And to me, it all stems back to 365 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 2: that same thing which I just said, which is the 366 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 2: absence of self worth, Which. 367 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 3: Is the absence of self worth? Yeah, and then how 368 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 3: much where do you stand on this is tricky because 369 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 3: we can't belittle something that's real. But I a lot 370 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:53,760 Speaker 3: of people talk about depression and the over medication, and 371 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 3: I know some people that have been on medication for 372 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 3: years because of depression, and there's a fine line. There 373 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 3: are people that actually are going to take their lives 374 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 3: and that's a serious matter. There are other people that 375 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 3: are just the words anxiety, the words depression and then 376 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 3: medicating and one day decide they want to just actually 377 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,880 Speaker 3: feel something and go off of the medication. And maybe 378 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 3: they're not drinking as much, maybe they're trying to figure 379 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 3: out their levels through meditation, through yoga, et cetera. So 380 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 3: I want to know where you stand on like the 381 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 3: overall depression and being medicated for it, like a just 382 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 3: throwing medicine at the problem. 383 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm very outspoken about our sick care system. Right. 384 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 2: We have a disease management system. We don't have a 385 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 2: healthcare system. Right. If you look at the genesis of 386 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 2: what it is to become a doctor, they learn structure, 387 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 2: which is called anatomy. They learn function, which is called physiology, 388 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 2: and then they learn what goes wrong with both, which 389 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 2: is called pathology. Right, that's what a doctor specializes in. 390 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 2: And so there's no education about health. So we've got 391 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 2: to first understand that the system we have in place 392 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 2: has got to do with health. There's no money to 393 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 2: be garnered from somebody who's in good shape, big farmer. 394 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: You know, they're a business. They have shareholders that they're 395 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 2: accountable to. They want to make money, and the way 396 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 2: you make money is by having sick people. So, first 397 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 2: of all, I'm a huge stand for true health, but 398 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 2: I'm an expert in health. If you're in a car accident, 399 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 2: don't come to me. Sure you know, allopathic medicine could 400 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 2: save your life, but it's got nothing to do with health, 401 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 2: nothing whatsoever. It's like me taking one of my professional 402 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 2: athletes you know, a baseball player to a new coach 403 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,239 Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, great, what's his coach specializing? I'm saying, oh, 404 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 2: he specializes in striking out. It's like, well, why the 405 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 2: fuck am I going to go and see that guy? 406 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 2: You know, that's hiss Asinine is going to see a 407 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 2: doctor because you're interested in health. So that's the first 408 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 2: thing people I want them to understand is that putting drugs, 409 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,159 Speaker 2: you know, SSRIs or beta blockers or whatever it is. 410 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 2: Anyone's taking these statins, all of these things have got 411 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 2: nothing to do with health. And more and more as 412 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 2: it gets exposed, people are realizing it's actually quite the contrary, 413 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 2: especially as it comes to suicide ideation. I've got a 414 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 2: documentary I'm in that comes out in a couple of 415 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 2: months about this family who sadly lost their eighteen year 416 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 2: old kid who was a big rapper. I didn't know 417 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 2: who was, but he's got millions of fans and he 418 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:16,480 Speaker 2: took his own life. And they heard my distinction around suicide, 419 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 2: which to me, is a very powerful and potent time 420 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 2: in someone's life, if you understand what it's actually about. 421 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 2: It's not about taking your life. It's about discarding and 422 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 2: letting go of quote unquote killing the part of you 423 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 2: that no longer serves you, right, the thing that creates 424 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 2: your constraint. So there is a form of death that occurs, 425 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 2: but it's not to you the being. It's to the 426 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 2: current narrative that hasn't served you since you were a child. 427 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 2: And that's really where the depression lies, is that people 428 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 2: are dragging the quintessential baggage from their history that hasn't 429 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 2: been reconciled, and it's a heaviness. Anxiety on the flip 430 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 2: side tends to be future orrent it exactly right. So 431 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 2: one of my quotes again, I say past her informs 432 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,679 Speaker 2: future fear. So wherever we've had disappointments and pain in 433 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 2: our history, than the brain, which is just to predict 434 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 2: and protect because we're survival oriented mammals, is now worried 435 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 2: about the replication of those things that hurt us. That's 436 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,479 Speaker 2: called anxiety. So I help mitigate both sides because if 437 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 2: you can reconcile your history, accept things as they were, 438 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 2: you know there may be some healing to do around it, 439 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 2: then you equally mitigate any anxiety. So as long as 440 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 2: you're in either camp, you know, you're basically screwed, and 441 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,000 Speaker 2: I don't mean that in a dismissive way, but there's 442 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 2: no results that you're not going to human vitality and 443 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 2: why people suffer is not because they've got a deficiency 444 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: of SSRIs right, that's not how it works. You're carrying 445 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 2: some trauma that hasn't been resolved. 446 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: You're putting a band aid on a broken leg, is 447 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: what you're saying. 448 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So sick care has got no interest in 449 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 2: the vitality of a human being. It's about pushing drugs, 450 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 2: which is fine, it's a business. You know, everyone who 451 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,120 Speaker 2: has a business wants to make money. But I want 452 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 2: people to wake up and realize that we have a 453 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 2: disease management system with beautiful humans. You know, people would 454 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,199 Speaker 2: become doctors and nurses, they care, but then they are 455 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,919 Speaker 2: inside of a system that has got no interest in 456 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 2: actually the true well being of the human Yeah. 457 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 1: I agree with you wholeheartedly.