1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,000
Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,720
Speaker 1: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,080
Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

5
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,680
Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air. Dislike, yeah, we're

6
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,599
Speaker 1: reading this one right now. It could be yours. You

7
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,480
Speaker 1: never know. Bugle up and hold on tight. We got

8
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,320
Speaker 1: it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank

9
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,440
Speaker 1: you enough you subject he's living a double life. Dear

10
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,559
Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I was a late bloomer and didn't have

11
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,040
Speaker 1: a lot of dating experience until I was in my

12
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,040
Speaker 1: early twenties when I got braces and lost a little weight.

13
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,199
Speaker 1: Men loved it and would take advantage of me. I

14
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,400
Speaker 1: thought I had life figured out by the time I

15
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,920
Speaker 1: was twenty eight years old and I met the man

16
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,280
Speaker 1: I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

17
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,200
Speaker 1: I met him on a dating app and he lived

18
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 1: out of town, so I only saw him if he

19
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,440
Speaker 1: came to visit. He's day at my house and all

20
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:06,039
Speaker 1: we did was eat and make love. He kept his

21
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,240
Speaker 1: phone in his pocket the entire time he was with me,

22
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,200
Speaker 1: and when he slept, he either tucked it in the

23
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: mattress or it was in his car. One day, he

24
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 1: was on his laptop and I passed by and saw

25
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,720
Speaker 1: a family picture on his wallpaper screen. He joked about

26
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,440
Speaker 1: me being nosy and closed his computer really quick. I

27
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,200
Speaker 1: didn't say anything at first. Then a few weeks later

28
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,200
Speaker 1: I tried calling him and someone answered his phone and

29
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,000
Speaker 1: didn't say anything, so I didn't say anything either. I

30
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,400
Speaker 1: questioned him weeks later when he came back to my town.

31
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,640
Speaker 1: He denied anything out of the norm, so I did

32
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,560
Speaker 1: my own investigation. I found out that he has an

33
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,120
Speaker 1: entire family, a wife and two kids, and his mother

34
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 1: lives with them. He has been married for eleven years,

35
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 1: and he's had two other long term girlfriends. Like me.

36
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,360
Speaker 1: Social media is great for finding out this kind of stuff.

37
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,080
Speaker 1: I told him I knew his wife's name, his kid's names,

38
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:12,400
Speaker 1: and his wedding date. He remained calm and said I

39
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,440
Speaker 1: don't need to worry about his wife. He said, if

40
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 1: he wanted me to know about her, he would have

41
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,000
Speaker 1: told me. I'm heartbroken and he's moved on. I have

42
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,440
Speaker 1: all of his wife's info, so I think it's time

43
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 1: to tell her. What's up? He said, He's not worried

44
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,799
Speaker 1: at all, because I don't have the balls to do it.

45
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:37,920
Speaker 1: Do I break the cycle or not? Okay, really, it's

46
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 1: not up to you to break any kind of cycle here.

47
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,760
Speaker 1: You didn't start the cycle. You're just part of his cycle.

48
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,720
Speaker 1: So girl, listen, you gotta go go on and get

49
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,280
Speaker 1: on with your life. Okay. All this stuff you did

50
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,920
Speaker 1: after the fact, you know, your own investigation, all of

51
00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 1: that you're you know, and tennas should have gone up

52
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,360
Speaker 1: when he put the when you thought he put the

53
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,280
Speaker 1: phone in the mattress or left it in his car.

54
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 1: All this is suspicious activity. All of this is you know,

55
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,640
Speaker 1: this is about revenge on your part and nothing else.

56
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,280
Speaker 1: I mean, you want to get back at him. You

57
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,760
Speaker 1: want to get back at him. It's okay to be

58
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 1: angry and hurt and you know, feel betrayed and all

59
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 1: of that. We all have those feelings after this kind

60
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,800
Speaker 1: of breakup. But what is telling his wife gonna get you.

61
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,960
Speaker 1: It's not gonna get you anything. And again, why didn't

62
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,680
Speaker 1: you find out if he was married before you started

63
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,800
Speaker 1: dating him? You said in your letters. Social media, you know,

64
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,000
Speaker 1: is a great place to find out about someone. Well,

65
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,680
Speaker 1: why didn't you do that before. I just don't understand

66
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,360
Speaker 1: that part. This is just another man you let take

67
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 1: advantage of you. It happened in your early twenties. You

68
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,760
Speaker 1: said where you let men take advantage of you, and

69
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,040
Speaker 1: I say this to you, it stopped. It's time to

70
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,000
Speaker 1: stop this. It's time to stop letting men take advantage

71
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,160
Speaker 1: each of you. All right, this is what you should

72
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,640
Speaker 1: be concentrating on now. Because you said he has moved

73
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,400
Speaker 1: on and hasn't looked back. You should be concentrating and

74
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 1: working on that now. You should be working on yourself,

75
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,320
Speaker 1: your self esteem, your self worth. You don't have to

76
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,720
Speaker 1: go to his wife and tell her about his cheating husband,

77
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,640
Speaker 1: her cheating husband. I'm sure she knows it's plus you

78
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,400
Speaker 1: said he had two other long term girlfriends. Come on,

79
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:34,919
Speaker 1: I'm sure she knows something. Steve. Oh, I don't. I

80
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,000
Speaker 1: don't even know what to say to you, ma'am. I mean,

81
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 1: you explain to me why you got taken advantage of

82
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,039
Speaker 1: Because you didn't do a lot of dating, and you

83
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,480
Speaker 1: had braces and you had love weight on you and

84
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,040
Speaker 1: you and men loved it. And when you got to

85
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,040
Speaker 1: braces off and lost some weight, when men loved it

86
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:58,919
Speaker 1: and would take advantage of me. Um. You know, people

87
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,200
Speaker 1: take advantage of you when you're gullible to things. I

88
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,880
Speaker 1: understand that. But you were young, and that's just youth. Women.

89
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,919
Speaker 1: It happens to women all the time. It happens to

90
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,880
Speaker 1: men all the time too, So that's just youth. Don't

91
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,440
Speaker 1: worry about that. You know, you know how not to

92
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,159
Speaker 1: get taken advantage of. Now. But now you're twenty eight

93
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,919
Speaker 1: and you met the man that you thought it was

94
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:23,039
Speaker 1: the love of your life. And all we did was

95
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 1: eat and make love. He stayed at your house, he

96
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 1: lived out of town. You met him on a dating

97
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,679
Speaker 1: Now you only saw him when he came to visit.

98
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,200
Speaker 1: When he kept his phone in his pocket the entire

99
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,719
Speaker 1: time he was with you. When he slept, he tucked

100
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,040
Speaker 1: it in the mattress. Now, when you see a man

101
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:46,760
Speaker 1: tucking a phone in a mattress, damn you tuck a

102
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:51,159
Speaker 1: phone in the mattress. That's a tough one. Now, boy,

103
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,480
Speaker 1: kind of hard you to get that phone and he's

104
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,840
Speaker 1: sleeping on it. That's real hard to do. But if

105
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,400
Speaker 1: it vibrates, everybody in the bed gonna know what ringing.

106
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,919
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that wasn't enough for you. Here's the

107
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,800
Speaker 1: one that threw me. One day, he was on his laptop.

108
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,760
Speaker 1: I passed by and saw a family picture on his

109
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,839
Speaker 1: wallpaper screen. He joked about me being nosy and closed

110
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,479
Speaker 1: his computer right away. You saw a man with a

111
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,599
Speaker 1: wallpaper screen of a whole damn family here in the picture.

112
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 1: It's a woman in the picture and some kids in

113
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,840
Speaker 1: the picture. A whole family on his wall paper screen.

114
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,640
Speaker 1: You know, a person's wall paper screen is pretty personal. Yeah,

115
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 1: you put stuff on that and mean something to you.

116
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,200
Speaker 1: Hold on, Steve, I'm a hold on. Yeah. We'll have

117
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 1: part two of your response coming up at twenty three

118
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,119
Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject He's living

119
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,840
Speaker 1: a double life. We'll get back into it right after this.

120
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 1: You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap

121
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,520
Speaker 1: today Strawberry letter of the subject He's living a double life.

122
00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:09,039
Speaker 1: This woman who had an early childhood deprived of early

123
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,720
Speaker 1: dating because she needed braces and had a little weighted

124
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,920
Speaker 1: she was. She got the braces off, she lost weight,

125
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,720
Speaker 1: excuse me, And she said that men took advantage of

126
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,880
Speaker 1: that well, which means she was naive when women are young,

127
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,080
Speaker 1: they get taken advantage of a lot. There's a lot

128
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: of sharks out there. I understand that that. We'll just

129
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,560
Speaker 1: chalk that up to you. You're twenty eight now, he's

130
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 1: on the dating app. You met a man that you

131
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,360
Speaker 1: wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Well,

132
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,240
Speaker 1: you met him on a date where he stayed out

133
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,520
Speaker 1: of town and when he came to town, all y'all

134
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:42,240
Speaker 1: deal was eat and sleep together and make love. All right, cool?

135
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,080
Speaker 1: But the whole time he kept his phone in his pocket,

136
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,520
Speaker 1: or he left it in the car. When he did

137
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 1: keep it with him, he tucked it under the match.

138
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,360
Speaker 1: That's that's hard. That's a dead sign to something that

139
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,760
Speaker 1: you don't need to see. But that one wasn't a

140
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,640
Speaker 1: killer for me. The killer for me was one day

141
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,000
Speaker 1: he was on his laptop. I passed by and saw

142
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,520
Speaker 1: a family picture on his wallpaper screen. He joked about

143
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,720
Speaker 1: me, me me and nose and closed the computer real quick.

144
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,800
Speaker 1: I ain't say anything at first. Why you didn't? I

145
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,360
Speaker 1: don't understand this. Here you see a man he on now,

146
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,680
Speaker 1: a woman on now, and some children is on now,

147
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:30,560
Speaker 1: and it's him. You knowsy what? All right? Then? A

148
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,960
Speaker 1: few weeks later, I tried calling him. Somebody answered the

149
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 1: phone or didn't say anything, so I didn't say anything either.

150
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,840
Speaker 1: That's because the person you called it answered the phone

151
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:46,080
Speaker 1: was his wife and she's suspicious, so she didn't want

152
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,120
Speaker 1: to say nothing. Then you hang up because that's happened before.

153
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,520
Speaker 1: So what she did was she waited on you to

154
00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:58,800
Speaker 1: say Donnie or whatever his name is, jos just like that,

155
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:03,800
Speaker 1: I love don Raymond, Hello Raymond, and then the woman

156
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,880
Speaker 1: would know it's a woman. But she didn't say nothing.

157
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,400
Speaker 1: Then weeks later you questioned him when he came back

158
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:16,040
Speaker 1: in town. He denied anything out the norm. So I

159
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 1: did my own investigation. Now, like Shelley said, come on, babies,

160
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 1: with social media and all this hell, you could have

161
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,839
Speaker 1: done all this investigating when you met him on the app.

162
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,200
Speaker 1: Why do y'all wait to after the fact for the investigation.

163
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,760
Speaker 1: You all live in a technological society and you're able

164
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,720
Speaker 1: to do your homework early before you even get involved

165
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 1: with this man. You could do your investigation, save yourself

166
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,600
Speaker 1: a lot of pain. I found out he had an

167
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,880
Speaker 1: entire family or wife, two kids, and his mother lives

168
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 1: with them. He'd been married for eleven years, and he

169
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,800
Speaker 1: has two other long term girlfriends like me. Then she

170
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,320
Speaker 1: said social media is great for finding out this kind

171
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,320
Speaker 1: of stuff. Well it, like Shelley said, it would have

172
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:10,320
Speaker 1: been great in the beginning too, would have saved you

173
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,600
Speaker 1: a world of trouble. I don't understand. I told him

174
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,320
Speaker 1: I knew his wife's name, his kid's name, his wedding date.

175
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,400
Speaker 1: He remained come and said, I don't need to wear

176
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,680
Speaker 1: about his wife. She said, if he wanted me to

177
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:30,360
Speaker 1: know about her, he would have told me. And he

178
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 1: let me explain something to my wife. Name out your mouth.

179
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: Keep your wife's name out your mouth. If I want

180
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,920
Speaker 1: you to know about how I told you about her.

181
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 1: Oh hell, pimp now, because that's a pimp line. No, no,

182
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,160
Speaker 1: I'll show you what the threat is. Shelley, Okay, okay,

183
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:50,440
Speaker 1: I'm heartbroken and he's moved on because now the reason

184
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,080
Speaker 1: he really told you you don't need to know his

185
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,640
Speaker 1: wife's name and need to wear about his wife because

186
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:57,120
Speaker 1: you ain't fitna be involved with him. No more. I'm

187
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,240
Speaker 1: heartbroken and he's moved on. I have all all of

188
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 1: his wife's info, so I think it's time to tell

189
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,000
Speaker 1: her what's Oh girl, he said, he's not worried at all.

190
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 1: Here's the threat, because I don't have the balls to

191
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,560
Speaker 1: do it. Now, this is an unbelievable threat. Most men

192
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,400
Speaker 1: ain't this damn stupid. But he must really know you

193
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,960
Speaker 1: naive and pass it because you take a lot and

194
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,679
Speaker 1: you don't know how to deal with me, and so

195
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,559
Speaker 1: this threat is unbelievable. But you know, there's an old

196
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 1: saying that he has forgotten you can't snatch your head

197
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 1: out the lion's mouth, and he didn't forgot that. See,

198
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,959
Speaker 1: he don't realize that his head is in your mouth.

199
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,520
Speaker 1: You ain't got the balls to do it. You've been

200
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,960
Speaker 1: to just snatch your head out this mouth, and I

201
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,680
Speaker 1: got all this information. Are you kidding me? He's pretty dad,

202
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,320
Speaker 1: you asked me. But this is a bluff, This is

203
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 1: a cold bluff. But he really thinks a lot less

204
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,199
Speaker 1: of you. So I understand. And you're talking about do

205
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,640
Speaker 1: I break the cycle or not not really sure what cycle?

206
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,959
Speaker 1: You're talking about the fact that he may have had

207
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,520
Speaker 1: two longtime girlfriends and your number three and his wife

208
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 1: may not know about it. Surely say, I don't know

209
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,400
Speaker 1: what that gains you. Your best move is to move on.

210
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:22,720
Speaker 1: But I do understand. I mean, you ain't got the

211
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 1: balls to do it. So you know, the parting shot

212
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,959
Speaker 1: is gonna be a little bit different. The parting shots

213
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,959
Speaker 1: is you might show him you do have a set

214
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,600
Speaker 1: of Kahunas on you. And I don't know why he

215
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,840
Speaker 1: would even threaten you like this, I really really don't.

216
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:45,960
Speaker 1: That's an unbelievable threat. That's a I don't know no

217
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,679
Speaker 1: man to say that you ain't got the balls, you know,

218
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:52,079
Speaker 1: I call no, Well, hey, look, I'm really sorry. Can

219
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,320
Speaker 1: we work through this? Can I help you need anything?

220
00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 1: We've had a lot of conversations except that, So all right, yeah,

221
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,120
Speaker 1: we're moving on and oh look what's next. We're gonna

222
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,800
Speaker 1: look into the mind of Joy Anthony Brown coming up

223
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:14,440
Speaker 1: right after this. Who you're listening to this? Dave Harvey

224
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,079
Speaker 1: Morning Show