WEBVTT - I Reached a Major Milestone! 8 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned From Incredible Guests Along the Way 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.680 Reaching five million subscribers on YouTube is a milestone I 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:08.480 could never have imagined when On Purpose first began. Over 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:10.719 the years, I've had the honor of sitting with some 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:16.600 of the most extraordinary people in the world, artists, world leaders, athletes, 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:21.800 visionaries and experts. These conversations have offered us glimpses into 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:25.920 how greatness is built, how vulnerability becomes strength, and how 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:29.800 love and resilience shape our lives. I'm truly grateful for 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:32.640 how far we've come, and it's all because of you. 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:37.479 It's also just the beginning. So today we're celebrating our 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:41.280 community and this milestone by revisiting some of the most 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:45.160 significant moments from incredible guests along the way. 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:52.160 The Number one Health and Wellness podcast set Jay Shet. 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:58.920 I remember this one really well because I was in France. 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.960 I flew to London to take a flight to the US, 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:05.200 and then flew back to London to interview Tom All 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.160 within twenty four hours. When I spoke with Tom Holland, 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:12.120 he shared something deeply personal, his decision to quit drinking. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:16.160 In a world that celebrates alcohol. He stepped away to 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.919 protect his mental and emotional health, and he's not alone 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.319 surveys show more young people are choosing sobriety than ever before, 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:28.319 with many saying they feel healthier and more present. Here's 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.360 Tom on how that choice changed his life. One of 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.640 the things that you mentioned recently was that you gave 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:36.560 up drinking about a year and a half ago. Yes, 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:39.480 and you said it was the hardest thing you ever did. Yes, 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:41.800 And I wanted to know what was so hard about 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.920 it for you? Why was it so hard. 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.400 It's interesting I didn't one day wake up and say 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:51.800 I'm giving up drinking. I just like many Brits, had 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.120 had a very, very boozy December Christmas time. I was 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.400 on vacation. I was drinking a lot. And I've always 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.480 been able to drink a lot. I think I get 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.640 my genes from my mom's side in that thing that. 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:03.559 I can drink. 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.400 And I decided to just give up for January. I 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:10.239 just wanted to do dry January. And all I could 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:12.560 think about was having a drink. It's all I could 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.240 think about. I was waking up thinking about it. I 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.400 was checking the clock, when's it twelve, And it just 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:21.640 really scared me. I just was like, Wow, maybe maybe 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:23.760 I have a little bit of an alcohol thing. So 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.120 I sort of decided to punish myself and say, I'll 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:29.560 do February as well. I'll do two months off. If 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:31.079 I can do two months off, then I can prove 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:34.799 to myself I don't have a problem. Two months go by, 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:38.600 and I was still really struggling. I felt like I 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.040 couldn't be social. I felt like I couldn't go to 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:43.679 the pub and have a lime soda, I couldn't go 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:47.160 out for dinner. I was really really struggling, and I 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:51.840 started to really worry that maybe I had an alcohol problem. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.440 So I decided that I would wait until my birthday, 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:56.480 which is June first. I said to myself, if I 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:59.119 can do six months without alcohol, then I can prove 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.639 to myself that I don't have a problem. And by 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:04.600 the time I had got to June first, I was 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.320 the happiest I had ever been in my life. I 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:11.440 could sleep better, I could handle problems better. Things that 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.880 would go wrong on set that would normally set me off, 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.600 I could take in my stride. I had so much, 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.959 such better mental clarity. I felt healthier, I felt fitter, 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.920 and I just sort of said to myself, why am 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:28.680 I enslaved to this drink? Why am I so obsessed 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.760 by the idea of having this drink, and I would 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.040 look back and recognize that I would go to events 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.839 for work and be like, I can't enjoy myself until 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:39.640 I've had a few beers, and I just felt so 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:41.920 much pressure. And this is one of the things where 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.840 I've sort of distanced myself from the rugby community because 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.119 so much of it is about how much can you drink. 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:50.400 Let's get you as drunk as possible. And it's honestly 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:52.760 been the best thing I've ever done. I'm a year 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.840 and a half into it now, it doesn't even cross 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.000 my mind. I found amazing replacements that I think are 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:02.160 fantastic ones that are also really healthy. I found this 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:05.760 one beer that it's full of electrolytes and it's you know, 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.520 the carbohydrates in it are long lasting energy. So like 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.080 having a beer is now actually like a really healthy thing. 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:13.480 I'm really lucky that all my friends are super supportive 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.040 about it. I've never run into that scenario where my 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:17.480 friends are like, oh god on, just have a beer, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.400 like you're fine. They've always sort of really supported me, 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.960 and I don't want to be that person that's saying 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.120 to people you should get sober. You should get sober. 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:28.880 If I could encourage someone to drink less, then that's great. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.040 But I don't want to start getting into the world 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.520 of you need to stop drinking, because I just it's 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:34.920 not for me to say I went on my own 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.680 little journey. I'm really enjoying it. I'm delighted that my 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:41.160 mum's as also given up. She's loving it, and it's 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.920 been amazing. I can't believe the difference that I feel 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:45.920 from not drinking. Yeah, I feel amazing. 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:46.640 That's amazing, man. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.240 I love hearing that, and I love hearing that it's 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.520 been great for you, right, I think, yeah, that's the point. 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:52.120 Not everything has to be like, look what I did, 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:53.479 you can do it too. It's kind of like, no, 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:55.240 this is just what's been great for me. Do you 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:58.760 think it was partly that attitude for you, at least 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:00.760 in the beginning, where it's like, well, I can drink, 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:02.360 I drink a lot comes from my mum jeans and 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:03.760 it doesn't affect me, And then all of a sudden 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:06.359 you realize, well, wait a minute, it's more than that. 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:08.520 Because I think there is that, like I was like 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:09.960 that as a young man as well, like for me, 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.719 it was it was easy to drink. I didn't drink daily. 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.680 For me, I drank a lot more socially sure, and 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:16.800 I love playing drinking games with my mates. Yeah, that 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:20.000 was really what I enjoyed the most, probably, and for 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.960 me when I quit, I could just quickly see how 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:25.360 it just got me into doing things I would never 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:27.159 do if I wasn't drunk. So for sure, for me, 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:29.039 it was more that. But yeah, I wonder for you, 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.760 did you find that? It's there's a really fine line 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.480 between like, I know, I can drink a lot and 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.160 then all of a sudden you're kind of not addictive. 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.280 Beyond that, I'm happy to say a lot. 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.440 I was definitely addicted to alcohol, not shining away from 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.480 that at all. I think anyone that wakes up and 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.800 has not wakes up, anyone that has a beer every day, 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:47.760 it's probably got a little bit of a problem. 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:49.000 But yeah, you're right. 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:51.279 I would drink and drink and drink and drink, and 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.360 then you would just reach that moment where you're like, well, 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.040 I shouldn't have had that last beer, and you wake 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:56.839 up the next day and you have a terrible headache 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.479 and you're suffering. I bought one of those rings that 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:02.080 will tell you about your sleep yeah orring yeah, And 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:03.960 it was amazing because I couldn't sleep. I was like, 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.360 why can't I sleep? I'm working fourteen hours a day, 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:08.960 I'm doing two hours in the gym, I'm eating really healthily, 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.360 and I can't sleep. What's wrong with me? I bought 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:14.240 this ring and it was booze. It just it was 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.680 completely affecting my sleep. And since I've given it up, 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:17.960 I can sleep anywhere. 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:18.760 You know. 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.919 It's also interesting as well, going on nights out and 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:25.160 having a great time as the sober person and then 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:27.320 getting to that point in the night where people start, 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:30.279 you know, spitting in your ear and everyone's I love you, man, 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.279 I love you so much, and you're like, yeah, brilliant, 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:34.039 I love you too. I see tomorrow I'm going to bed. 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:37.800 I love being that person now. I love seeing my 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.080 friends on the golf course at eight am in the morning, 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:42.840 feeling fresh and ready to go and they're sort of 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.760 crawling out their car and so yeah, so I am 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:48.680 over the moon to be sober. 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:49.080 I love it. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:49.400 Yeah. 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.680 For anyone who is listening right now and is going 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.039 tom I love that for you. I want to do 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.760 it too, like they're listening, going I'm having too much 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.120 every day. I can notice some of those things, but 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:01.360 I'm just stuck. And it's hard because we know that 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.440 addictions that way, we know that this is heavy. 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:04.640 It's not easy. 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:07.160 But if someone is watching, Going Tom, tell me what 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.359 did you do to even get started? How did you 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.320 have that courage to say, I'm going to do January, 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.400 I'm going to stick at it. Were there any moments 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:14.840 where you actually fell back and then I had to 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.840 get back on the horse again, Like, we'll just walk 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:18.520 us through that a little bit more. For anyone who 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.760 is watching, Going Tom, Mate, I want to be in 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.320 your position in like six months. 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:25.200 I didn't fall back on it. I have done in 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.200 the past. I've had periods of my life where I'd 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.160 given up drinking and then gone back to drinking. But 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:35.960 this time, I don't know, it was just different. I 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.040 really worked to sort of change my mindset. I really 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:41.880 asked myself, like, why do you drink? Why are you drinking? 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:43.960 And a lot of the time my answer would be 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:48.120 to feel more comfortable in the social environment, And I 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.760 just put myself in those environments and just would force 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.800 myself to be there. I'd force myself to hang out 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:55.640 and go to a club or go to a bar, 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:57.040 go to a dinner, as. 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:58.360 We weren't avoiding those places. 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.680 I was at the beginning because I didn't feel like 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.360 I could go and not have a drink because of 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.760 the stress of it. But then after a while I 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:06.000 sort of was like, mate, you've got to pull your 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.120 socks up here, and you can't just live in your 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:09.480 house all the time. You've got to go out and 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.559 enjoy yourself. And if you're only enjoying yourself because you're drinking, 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.680 then you really do have a problem. But I just 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:19.480 changed my mindset. I found really good replacements. Things that 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.440 I could sort of attribute to having a beer. I 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.960 often found with me. Most of it is just the 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.760 ritual of cracking something open and sharing it with friends 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.360 and drinking it, whether it's sparkling water or a beer. 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.760 I now can't I don't associate like I don't see 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.319 a difference, but I think it's different for everyone. I 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:39.280 had a great support system. Jack is one of my 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:40.920 best mates and we travel all over the world. He 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:43.520 doesn't drink, and doing it with him was a really 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.120 helpful experience for me. My brother is always on the 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:49.840 road with me. He was very supportive and yeah, I 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:51.199 just really set my mind to it. I was like, 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:52.520 I really want to do this. I want to prove 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:54.760 to myself I can do it. And then once I'd 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:59.160 felt the health benefits and started really feeling like my full. 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.600 Self, My god, this is this is the best. 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:02.559 But do you not drink? 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:07.840 I haven't drank for seventeen years. No way, amazing, Yeah. 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:08.800 It was, It's incredible. 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:09.160 Wow. 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.079 So one of the best feelings in the world, and 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.440 it's my biggest like worry when I was about to quit, 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:15.600 was like, how am I going to hang out with 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:18.560 my mates? I was like, my mates knew me as 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:20.880 the guy who was like first of the game, last 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.360 to get out, that you know, the clown when I 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.240 got drunk, like life of the party, kind of like 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:26.920 that kind of guy. And then all of a sudden, 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:29.559 I decided I wasn't gonna drink anymore. I was like, crap, 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:31.120 I'm going to fit in. And then I remember I 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.360 went into the corporate world for a bit and I 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:35.040 didn't drink, and I was like, God, am I going 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:38.040 to miss out on opportunities and networking? Like, you know, 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:40.360 all the guys afterwards are like going to get drinks 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:41.880 and I'm like, oh, come, but I'll have a water 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:44.720 or I'll have a soda, whatever it is. And what 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:48.319 was really interesting for me is not relying on drinking 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:53.319 made me rely on qualities and skills I had. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:54.680 Sure that were actually better. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.840 So now that I couldn't drink as an excuse to 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.240 hang with the lads, I was bringing out parts my 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:01.920 personality that probably would. 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:02.800 Have just hidden away. 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.839 Yeah, surpressed, And all of a sudden, you were actually 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.679 getting respected and liked for who you were rather than 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:10.680 the person who you were when you were drunk. Sure, 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:12.800 and actually that worked in the workplace, and there was 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:14.480 no one at the workplace going r J doesn't drink, 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.640 so he's not getting promoted, right, It wasn't like that. 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:18.160 People were like, oh yeah, I really like hanging out 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.040 with J, or he's a really good guy, or whatever 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:21.959 it may be. And I was still getting the same 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.040 opportunities and I was still getting promoted at work and 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.120 whatever it was. And I think that's why I'd like 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:29.480 to remind people that don't feel like your career or 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.080 your work is going to suffer even for you like 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:35.560 you've I'm sure as a you know, with your career path, 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:36.800 you have to be at parties, you have to be 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:38.760 at events, of course, and the fact that you're able 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.560 to do that now without having alcohol and you don't, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.080 it doesn't sound like it's negatively impacting your career. 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.320 If anything, it's the opposite. 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:48.000 But may I honestly cannot believe like the amount of 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.360 times I've sat down with an actor that I've really admired, 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.800 or sat down with the producer or director and been like, oh, 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:54.160 you know, well, I don't drink anymore, and they go, 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.440 I don't drink ten years and You're like, oh my god. 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.400 And I've had so many insightful conversations with people like 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.679 yourself where you've heard their story, their. 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:03.480 Reason for giving up. 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:07.520 And there is a wonderful community of people and I 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.240 love it. I love being a part of that community. 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:10.800 I'm really proud to be a part of it. I 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.080 hope that, you know, I could meet other people and 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.439 chat them about it, because it's really nice. It's lovely 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:16.120 to be like, let's go to. 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:17.920 Get a lime cione together, you know. 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:21.240 Yeah, let's get a juice, let's get a smooth yeah. 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.160 Yeah, No, it is true. It's true. 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.439 And it's really interesting because they I can't remember. I'm 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.480 trying to remember. There was this blog that came out 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.480 years ago. I can't even remember it now, and there 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:33.960 was this girl on Instagram who was getting a lot 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:35.840 of likes and a lot of comments and a lot 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:41.240 of attention, and one day she just disappeared, like she 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:44.360 stopped posting, and everyone's just like all the comments were. 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.080 Like where are you? What happened? Are you okay? Like 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:47.199 what happened to you? 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:49.199 You know, everyone was frantic trying to figure out what 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.360 happened to her because they loved her, they were following 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.960 her and all the rest of it. And what they 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.040 didn't know is that it was built by a team 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.600 that was trying to show that what people didn't notice 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:01.920 is that in every picture she posted, she was drinking 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:03.840 and it was a made up It was almost like 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.040 original AI that was made up to prove the point 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:08.560 that you can love someone and you can think you're 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.079 really close to them, and you you could think their 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.080 lifestyle looks amazing, but actually they've got a drink in 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:14.240 every picture they post, and you didn't. 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:15.160 Realize that an alcohol problem. 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.240 So there was no real person who died, but The 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.920 point was that this your friends could be struggling even 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:25.120 when they're posting these beautiful lifestyle pictures. But are you aware, wow, 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.000 and are you conscious of how much it affects you? 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:28.520 And I can't can't remember who built that? 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.040 Well, that's I think that's one of the problems with 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:34.520 alcohol is that if you came out with alcohol right now, 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:36.840 if alcohol wasn't a thing, and you like, I've invented 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.720 this drink that is going to make you like either 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:43.079 really happy or really aggressive or really stupid, and we're 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:46.760 going to just sell it to the masses. People be like, now, mate, 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:48.680 keep your funky juice, Like, we don't want that. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:49.640 That sounds terrible. 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:51.600 And it's one of those things because it is so 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.360 socially acceptable that the addiction side of it, the bad 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.160 sides of it, really do fly under the radar. Yeah, 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:58.920 and that's really interesting. I'd say you something I do 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.200 love about being a Nundrey. I love being the designated driver. 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.760 I love being that person that makes sure that everyone 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.920 gets home. I don't know, I just I like being 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.680 a dependable person. I think I'm quite dependable, and I 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:15.040 really like that that thing. And I saw this crazy 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.600 YouTube video once this was years ago, of a guy 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.360 that went to a bar, he got drunk, and he 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:25.160 drove home and he crashed his car. And I don't 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:26.640 know if this is real. It could have been fake, 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.000 but it's really impactful. Basically, what his friend had done 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.839 was set up the room as if he had been 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.720 in a coma for like ten years. And his friend 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:40.080 wakes up hours after the crash and his friend is 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:42.400 there and he had all like old makeup on to 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.480 make him look older. And now I'm thinking about it, 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.200 there's no way this could have been real because how 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.080 would they have been able to pull that off. But 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.640 he basically is saying to him, like, you've been asleep 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.200 for ten years. Everyone's missed you, Like we can't believe 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.200 you're awake. This is amazing and it shows like how 0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.480 a stupid decision like driving drunk can affect the future 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.280 of your life. So I do love being the designated driver. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.200 That is something I enjoy see my friends have a 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:06.880 good time being like, don't worry, Tom will take you. 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:07.319 Yeah. 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.080 I used to love being the designated driver until I 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.320 realized that next girlfriend just had me do that because 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:14.440 I was the one who didn't. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.480 Do that right. That wasn't a fun design driver. 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:20.000 Yeah, but I've always been that guy since because so 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.560 I lived as a monk for three years. Yeah, and 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:24.920 when I came back after that, obviously I never went 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.240 back to drinking alcohol and everything, and so but I 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:29.920 went back into the workplace, and I remember everyone would 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:31.320 always open up to me and give me advice. But 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.240 it's what you're saying. When someone was drunk, they tell 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.160 me their whole life story. Next day they'd come and go, Jay, 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.160 you'd actually remember what I said. I remember everything. Please 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.440 don't tell anyone, Yeah, you know. And I loved I 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.000 loved that part where I was like I was able 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:46.600 to be there for people, just hear their stories and 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:48.680 someone that had context the next day, because if they 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:50.600 told someone else who was drunk, you'd both not remember 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:51.720 then it'd be gone. 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:51.800 No. 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:53.680 I think the benefits that you just pointed out of 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:58.400 good sleep, good health, mental clarity totally huge. But there's 0:14:58.400 --> 0:14:59.480 a couple of things I want to point out for 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:03.480 everyone's li just as takeaways, because Tom makes it so 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.800 seamless when you're talking about it's really beautiful as well. 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.920 But one of the things you mentioned was finding alternatives 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.160 and during my month life. We always talked about how 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.480 there was there was something that we called the higher taste, 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.360 and it was saying, you can never give up a 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.520 lower taste unless you had a higher taste. Sure, and 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:18.880 so there has to be a switch, there has to 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.680 be a replacement. And the fact that you found alternatives. 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.200 I think that's half the battle, because most of us 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.400 are trying to take something out of our lives and 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:28.400 then you're just trying to fill it. Yeah, and then 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:29.960 you have to go back to what you had before 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:31.520 because you're not finding a replacement. 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:32.360 So that was beautiful. 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.200 And the second thing you said, which I loved, which 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:38.000 was having this conversation and dialogue with other people, someone 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.320 who's one year ahead of you, someone who's ten years ahead, 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:43.120 someone's twenty years ahead, who's gone through that process, and 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.800 they're open and honest and vulnerable about you. 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.760 Know, I did have a weak moment or you know what. 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.000 This was really tough for me, and I think having 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.600 those communities where you can talk about these things makes 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:55.040 a massive difference. So if anyone struggling, I hope that 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.320 those two things can kind of, you know, give you 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:00.080 the support you need. Tom's honesty reminds us of a 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.760 key takeaway that strength doesn't come from fitting in, but 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:08.520 from making the choices that protect your piece. Whether it's alcohol, overworking, 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.600 or any habit that no longer serves you, Sometimes the 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.920 bravest thing we can do is to let it go. 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:18.480 One of the most inspiring conversations I've ever had and 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:22.440 that I'm deeply grateful for, was with the legendary late 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:26.400 Kobe Brian. I got to interview Kobe Bryan just a 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:30.880 few months before his tragic passing with his daughter. Kobe 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.320 described his mindset for excellence what he often called the 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:39.680 Mumba mentality. It wasn't about talent alone. It was about obsession, discipline, 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:43.600 and showing up every single day. Psychologists studying mastery of 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:48.240 skills have found that consistent, deliberate practice is the strongest 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:53.239 predictor of peak performance. Talent is valuable, but without consistency, 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.200 something Kobe embodied in every area of his life, it's 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.600 rarely enough. Let's take a look. Have you been able 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:04.480 to in your life see past the cloud of emotion 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.719 to actually execute on things? Because I think what we 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.399 were speaking about earlier, this challenge that young people afterday, 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:13.320 everyone has today have just so much information, so much 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:17.320 cloud of emotions, so many feelings, so much childhood baggage 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.520 that you're bringing, Like, how have you always cut through 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:21.240 that and execute them? 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:21.439