Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Tonight's debate was in Iowa because in just three weeks
Speaker 2: they will cost the first votes in the Democratic primary,
Speaker 2: just like they do in every presidential election. And if
Speaker 2: you want to know what it feels like to be
Speaker 2: number one, our own Jordan Klepper went on the road
Speaker 2: to find out.
Speaker 3: Last weekend, I went to beautiful Balmy, Iowa to see
Speaker 3: how they feel about kicking off primary season.
Speaker 4: I cannot be more excited to be in the center
Speaker 4: of the universe right now, right here.
Speaker 5: Baby, let's get this caucuss going boom.
Speaker 6: It's caucuss tibby.
Speaker 7: Caucus time.
Speaker 3: Baby. The excitement for the Iowa caucus is like no
Speaker 3: other primary event. And that's for one reas access to
Speaker 3: the candidates.
Speaker 8: Andrew Yan came to my house.
Speaker 5: He was in my front yard.
Speaker 4: He shook my babies and kissed my hands.
Speaker 5: He was awesome be taking.
Speaker 9: It.
Speaker 5: They were robots, bien.
Speaker 8: I got a Christmas card from him and Jill All
Speaker 8: I got one from Palm Styr too.
Speaker 5: Oh, yelling from him, Well, you just don't count well, styref.
Speaker 7: I mean I met Corey Booker last year spring Breaking.
Speaker 5: You looked up with Booker over Spring Bay.
Speaker 7: And I had the selfie video ingrets.
Speaker 3: It seems like any jackass can get up close and
Speaker 3: personal with the candidates.
Speaker 5: You have. You enjoyed your time here in Idaho.
Speaker 10: Oh maybe you're new at this, but we are in Iowa.
Speaker 5: What did I say?
Speaker 3: You said, I've been in a lot of places. I
Speaker 3: was still learning and had one very important question.
Speaker 5: Why is Iowa first?
Speaker 10: Oh? God, I don't know.
Speaker 3: We're not really sure why, and I think a lot
Speaker 3: of other people are thinking the same thing.
Speaker 6: But just because we always have been?
Speaker 5: Maybeer is that a good enough reason?
Speaker 9: Not really?
Speaker 5: Why do you guys get to be.
Speaker 1: First because it's written into our constitution.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, I said it right, yes exactly. Just
Speaker 3: because you called shotgun on democracy doesn't mean you get
Speaker 3: to sit up front it.
Speaker 1: Guess what it is?
Speaker 5: What it is? Mat all right?
Speaker 3: I needed some real Iowa background and a beer, so
Speaker 3: I sat down with local columnists Liz Lenz. How did
Speaker 3: Iowa become first?
Speaker 10: It happened in nineteen seventy two because of paperwork, and
Speaker 10: then in nineteen seventy six Jimmy Carter came in won
Speaker 10: the caucuses and showed that if you came to Iowa,
Speaker 10: you could grab the attention of the nation. So it
Speaker 10: was basically thanks to Jimmy Carter that Iowa became a thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so those poor little peanut farmers one day dreamed
Speaker 3: of being president.
Speaker 5: They were like, now there's a place I can go,
Speaker 5: a place where there are farmers, but they're different than me.
Speaker 5: They farm corn.
Speaker 3: Maybe I can do right, So you guys do soy
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I mean it's very very.
Speaker 5: It's very diverse here. That's what I've noticed.
Speaker 10: It's actually not diverse.
Speaker 5: And that's the problem. What's the problem with the caucuses.
Speaker 10: We're not diverse.
Speaker 3: In fact, Iowa is over ninety percent white. So Julean Castro,
Speaker 3: Mike Bloomberg and even the famously hostile USA Today say
Speaker 3: that Iowa doesn't reflect the country's demographics. Just look at
Speaker 3: these white aides who qualified for tonight's debates. I'm sure
Speaker 3: the rational folks of Iowa would agree. There's been some
Speaker 3: criticism of Iowa going first in the nation.
Speaker 5: I think they're crazy. You understand that there's a diversity issue, right,
Speaker 5: but we're not giving up first place just so you know,
Speaker 5: that's American, isn't it? Though?
Speaker 10: You know, Iowa isn't known for its diversity, but I
Speaker 10: really contend that Iowa is very diverse.
Speaker 1: I like to think that Iowa has a good We
Speaker 1: represent the whole country where melting pops.
Speaker 3: It's it's it's ninety percent white, right, but it's but
Speaker 3: the ten.
Speaker 5: Percent that's not white is one hundred percent not white.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 5: Iowa isn't the most diverse place.
Speaker 7: This parle could be a minority right in the whole ocean.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, rural could be a minority. That's that real hot Iowa.
Speaker 6: Take You're gonna hear people say we're all white.
Speaker 5: We're all I would never say that.
Speaker 8: Well you probably do.
Speaker 7: You just didn't tell me because you're being respectful.
Speaker 5: Okay, I did, but it was two minutes ago. I've forgotten.
Speaker 8: We try to be diverse.
Speaker 11: And actually Perry, Iowa like has a huge Hispanic Latino population,
Speaker 11: like where we are now.
Speaker 5: You can see it in there, right Yeah, well.
Speaker 11: Well not in certainly, but they not in the maybe not.
Speaker 5: The people in theory. It's definitely in theory.
Speaker 3: Yes, in practicality of reality no, right, but theoretically one
Speaker 3: hundred percent it's almost in frankly fifty to fifty. Yeah, Okay, Look,
Speaker 3: Iowa is actually really engaged, and they take this seriously,
Speaker 3: but they've had the opportunity of being first for over
Speaker 3: forty years, and the rational people to all ask one
Speaker 3: more time. Wouldn't our country benefit from kicking off primary
Speaker 3: season with the state that's a bit.
Speaker 7: More repre Okay, please don't go there with me.
Speaker 5: I'm not even you don't want to go there?
Speaker 8: I will.
Speaker 5: I'll go there with you.
Speaker 3: You want to go there there with me?
Speaker 7: If you are, if you, if you are a state
Speaker 7: that has civil discourse and is compassionate and open minded, obviously,
Speaker 7: we are diverse in our heart and by nature. And
Speaker 7: I'm not doing that because I'm all white privilege. I'm
Speaker 7: saying that because it's real well.
Speaker 5: But diverse in your heart. It's kind of a white
Speaker 5: privilegy thing. It is a white.
Speaker 7: Privileging thing too. But we think when we discussed and
Speaker 7: we say, well we'reen is that best for all of us?
Speaker 5: I would say the civil discourse here in Idaho is
Speaker 5: alive and well, okay, except we are in Iowa. Did
Speaker 5: I keep doing that?
Speaker 10: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, what did I say? Idaho, Idaho?
Speaker 3: And we are in Idah, Iowa Iowa, Iowa whatever. At
Speaker 3: least I'm not in Ohio.
Speaker 9: When it comes to presidential elections, nobody votes to Iowa votes.
Speaker 9: Iowa's have earned this position.
Speaker 6: Or not.
Speaker 9: Our Madrigal reports.
Speaker 11: With the twenty sixteen presidential election a little more than
Speaker 11: a year away, candidates are getting their Iowa on, showing
Speaker 11: they're ready to be president by riding tractors, judging butter sculptures,
Speaker 11: and joining incredibly non threatening motorcycle gangs. Yet some think
Speaker 11: the state, with point ninety seven percent of our population
Speaker 11: shouldn't get this much attention.
Speaker 12: Iowa should not be the first state to vote. Iowa's
Speaker 12: unrepresentative of the US. It has fewer minorities. It has
Speaker 12: a highly agricultural base, where we are largely in urban
Speaker 12: and suburban country.
Speaker 4: Iowa's concerns represent the concerns of normal Americans. What do
Speaker 4: I do with all this korn? I'm bored? Where can
Speaker 4: I deep fry this? Oh my god, I'm having chest pains.
Speaker 12: Most Americans don't wake up in the morning and worry
Speaker 12: about whether or not they're going to deep fry the corn.
Speaker 12: Stop you right there.
Speaker 4: I am a half Mexican man from an urban area
Speaker 4: and that's all I'm thinking about.
Speaker 12: So hell, you're wrong.
Speaker 11: It's Iowan's down home nohow that makes them the right choice.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something about the people in Iowa.
Speaker 4: They have homespun wisdom, small town values.
Speaker 12: To say they have a monopoly on the wisdom or
Speaker 12: a monopoly on small town values is to disregard the
Speaker 12: other three hundred million people in the United States.
Speaker 2: What.
Speaker 4: I've had enough of your Iowa bashing for one day.
Speaker 12: I'm going to Iowa right now.
Speaker 1: Oh why wah, Oh, that's all the corn Iowa.
Speaker 11: There isn't a group of people in America more qualified
Speaker 11: to pick the next leader of the free world than Iowan's.
Speaker 11: Just ask Iowan, Stephen Schmidt.
Speaker 8: It's an honor, it's a it's a job. It's kind
Speaker 8: of a responsibility to be first in selecting, or at
Speaker 8: least in voting for who we prefer for president.
Speaker 4: You're being very nonchalant.
Speaker 11: Come on, don't believe me.
Speaker 10: You guys like being kingmakers.
Speaker 8: Don't yet. We like being first because it's good for
Speaker 8: the economy.
Speaker 11: Oh look, there's Ted Cruz, Hillary Rick Santorum's here.
Speaker 8: It's interesting to see for a political scientists how people
Speaker 8: change their message.
Speaker 12: You love it, don't you?
Speaker 11: Huh?
Speaker 8: I do love it.
Speaker 11: I headed out to meet the non Jewish chosen Ones
Speaker 11: to see their in depth selection process up close.
Speaker 4: Oh, queens of the caucus, keep us off the corn.
Speaker 4: Who will win the Democratic nomination for president in the
Speaker 4: next selection?
Speaker 10: Hillary?
Speaker 13: Hillary?
Speaker 8: I haven't seen the face all hope for.
Speaker 7: I don't know how long it's been since Hillary has
Speaker 7: walked down on all people who are on the ground
Speaker 7: where the rest of us are.
Speaker 4: Ma'am, your convictions are as deep as everything on this
Speaker 4: table is fried.
Speaker 5: Good day.
Speaker 11: I was the perfect training ground to prepare our presidents
Speaker 11: for the world stage.
Speaker 8: How does a candidate react to the largest hog in
Speaker 8: the world, which is always at the state fair?
Speaker 12: Sure?
Speaker 4: And how they react to the hog is possibly a
Speaker 4: reflection on how they're going to lead our armed forces, or.
Speaker 8: How they might react to meeting unusual international leaders that
Speaker 8: give them surprises.
Speaker 11: Yes, which of course is an extremely likely scenario.
Speaker 12: There should be some rotation of the states and the
Speaker 12: delegate selection process. Rotation would make a significant difference so
Speaker 12: that every state has an opportunity.
Speaker 4: So what states would you have us rotate too?
Speaker 12: Well, you know, you might want to start in New
Speaker 12: York and at art to Dewey right, Alabama, then not
Speaker 12: chewy enough New Mexico, New Mexico wreck.
Speaker 4: Really, I mean, I'm not going to have our candidates
Speaker 4: parade themselves around in front of some burnout hippieis in
Speaker 4: Santa Fe.
Speaker 11: And besides, although Iowa almost never picks candidates who win,
Speaker 11: what's the harm.
Speaker 12: Because Iowa was first in the nation. There are certain
Speaker 12: issues that are highlighted that may not have national importance.
Speaker 12: Take ethanol for instance.
Speaker 11: Of course, wonderful ethanol. We're sure taxpayers pay six billion
Speaker 11: a year for a fuel source that environmentalists say is
Speaker 11: worse than gasoline. But they're wrong because Iowa says they're wrong.
Speaker 12: Right, the ethanol lobby has a lot of power and
Speaker 12: a lot of money. Ethanol should not have such a
Speaker 12: significant importance in the issues facing our presidential campaigns.
Speaker 4: But I'm talking about I'm crazy. Hey, you know, Rick,
Speaker 4: don't get us an a lot of trouble over this interview.
Speaker 4: It's not worth it. I'm coming in here talking smack
Speaker 4: about ethanols.
Speaker 11: Here, I guess bof killed, but not before I enjoy
Speaker 11: my time in Iowa.
Speaker 5: As we were saying, the Iowa.
Speaker 13: Caulcast is. Tonight's both Democratic and Republican races are down
Speaker 13: to the wire. So this week presidential candidates went all
Speaker 13: around the states to make their final appeal to voters.
Speaker 13: Well except for Donald Trump. He just flew over the voters.
Speaker 5: That's a real video, that's what he did. And those
Speaker 5: people lost their shit.
Speaker 13: That's all it takes to get Trump's supports excited. In
Speaker 13: my opinion, if he's doing a fly by, at least
Speaker 13: do it in a spectacular way. You don't do it
Speaker 13: like Denzel would do it. You know, it would have
Speaker 13: been so great if he had just kept going and
Speaker 13: then like crashed into a school next door, and then
Speaker 13: Trump comes out from behind everybody. He's like it was
Speaker 13: a decoy plane, and everyone'll be like, yay, but wait
Speaker 13: the school whatever.
Speaker 11: Yay.
Speaker 13: So full caucus results will be in tomorrow, and here
Speaker 13: with a more background on what we'll be seeing is
Speaker 13: Runny Chang. Everybody seta So everyone in America right now
Speaker 13: is obsessed with Iowa.
Speaker 6: All right, It's like the Kim Kardashian of states. So
Speaker 6: I looked into it, and it turns out Iowa is
Speaker 6: just like a Kardashian. There is no real reason for
Speaker 6: the obsession. It's just how things are for months now,
Speaker 6: It's been twenty four hours of.
Speaker 4: This, the all important Iowa caucuses.
Speaker 5: Iowa is very important.
Speaker 10: All eyes are on the Hawkeye state Iowa.
Speaker 6: Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, and the twenty sixteen candidates have been
Speaker 6: kissing Iowa's ass so hard at so many campaign stops
Speaker 6: that by now they've deep throated every freight food on
Speaker 6: a stick in existence, which isn't just disgusting, it's weird because.
Speaker 11: Iowa is tiny.
Speaker 6: I mean, he's got six times more pigs than people.
Speaker 6: Iowa's basically a giant farm that's ninety percent white people,
Speaker 6: and most of them are friendly old baseball ghost come on, pash.
Speaker 6: So why are these politicians risking hot attacks and diarrhea
Speaker 6: to panda to these people? Maybe it's because the Iowa
Speaker 6: Caucus is the single event where Democrats and Republicans actually
Speaker 6: choose their final presidential nominees. No, that's boring, although it
Speaker 6: would makes sense withf all the attention Iowa gets. But no,
Speaker 6: I totally made that up. Why people really care about
Speaker 6: Iowa is after all the months of polls and ads
Speaker 6: and debates and speculation, and whatever this is, I know
Speaker 6: it's not dancing. The Iowa caucus is the first time
Speaker 6: in the whole election process that people.
Speaker 5: Actually go out and vote.
Speaker 6: Yeah, remember voting like the whole reason for all this
Speaker 6: in the first place. So Iowa is special because it
Speaker 6: votes first, and it's first for a good reason. Studies
Speaker 6: show that people in Iowa have better judgment than average
Speaker 6: Americans due to Iowan's brains being sixty percent larger. I
Speaker 6: made that up too. Iowa goes first because it's something
Speaker 6: they started doing in the early nineteen seventies. For a perspective,
Speaker 6: that's when this was state of the art. Iowa hasn't
Speaker 6: updated how it runs the caucuses either, which I guess
Speaker 6: is supposed to be part of the charm, But to me,
Speaker 6: it just looks ridiculous. And that's coming from me, a
Speaker 6: grown man holding a tiny pig in a TV studio.
Speaker 6: Instead of regular voting, Republicans write their candidates' names on
Speaker 6: bits of paper, picking winners like Presidents Mike Huckabee and
Speaker 6: Rick Centaurum. And somehow Iowa Democrats find a way to
Speaker 6: be even less organized. Look at these people, they're actually
Speaker 6: picking a president by shuffling around a gym until they
Speaker 6: find people who feel exactly the same way about abortion
Speaker 6: or private email servers as they do. But here's the
Speaker 6: sequet about the Iowa caucuses. What really matters isn't who wins.
Speaker 5: It's who loses.
Speaker 6: Someone can come in third and still end up president,
Speaker 6: but lower than that and you pretty much have to
Speaker 6: go back home to your job as some loser senator
Speaker 6: or governor. So in short, Trevor, the Iowa kawkuff is
Speaker 6: like an early round of Survivor, all right, except instead
Speaker 6: of being on a tropical island with attractive people, it's
Speaker 6: in a frozen wasteland with these guys.
Speaker 13: Ronnie, you're not in Iowa anymore. You don't have to
Speaker 13: eat that.
Speaker 6: I can't stop eating fried butter.
Speaker 13: Oh man, thank you, Ronnie. You need to get that
Speaker 13: checked out, Ronnie. Check everyone stop eating.
Speaker 5: We'll be right back. Stop eating, Ronnie.
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