1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,679 Speaker 1: I listen to the Black Guy Who Tips because Rod 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: and Karen are so hot. 3 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 2: Hi, Roding Karen team with Queen and Jay brought me here. 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 2: I posted this on the website back in June, but 5 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 2: I think I posted in the wrong place since I'm 6 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 2: a new listener. I have a few questions that I'm 7 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 2: sure everyone already knows. What's the story behind the Blackout 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 2: tips name? Also, can y'all do a relationship episode? I 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 2: want to hear Rod and Karen's origin story. How did 10 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 2: y'all grow to love and accept each other? What kind 11 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 2: of obstacles did you face? Is this something y'all have 12 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,160 Speaker 2: already done? Could you please direct me to the episode. 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 2: I know the podcast really isn't about this, but I 14 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 2: really enjoy the dynamic between you two and how you 15 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 2: tell each other I love you at the. 16 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: End of each episode. Thank you very much. 17 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 2: Hope y'all are having a super califragi listic xbyall adotit 18 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:50,319 Speaker 2: start to twenty twenty one best k oh Well, thank you, Kay. 19 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 2: We'll appreciate you writing in. Of course, this is the 20 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 2: Black Auteps podcast. I'm your host, Rod, joined us always 21 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 2: by my co host Karen, and we are live doing 22 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 2: a podcast on a Tuesday. 23 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,040 Speaker 1: You can find us on Spotify. 24 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 2: A few people that hit me up, well, actually, one 25 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 2: person hit me up and said that the volume was 26 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 2: low to them on Spotify for some reason, to which 27 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: I they said it was low for a few episodes. 28 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: So I went back looked at some episodes, and I 29 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 2: saw that it did seem a little low to me 30 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 2: as well. So I re uploaded the audio for those 31 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 2: That's what I was doing today. So it should sound 32 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: better or at least as good as it did before that. 33 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: So let me know. 34 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: If it doesn't, I guess If not, then it may 35 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 2: be a Spotify issue. But uh, you know, hopefully that 36 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 2: fixes whatever was going on. But the official weapon of 37 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 2: the show is an unofficial sports at bullet Ball Extreme. 38 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 2: So this is a letter from K and I do 39 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 2: feel like we've talked about this quite. 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,279 Speaker 1: A few times. I'm sure, oh yeah, about how we mad. 41 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 3: To get new people that I listening to us for 42 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 3: the first time. That's why a lot of people love it. 43 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 3: But every now and then this person asks, But every 44 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 3: now and then we do like a boot Ball recap 45 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 3: and things like that, because. 46 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,679 Speaker 4: People go, what the hell are y'all talking? 47 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 2: About But I don't think we have a specific relationship 48 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 2: episode or whatever not about our relationship. 49 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: I don't even know. 50 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 2: I mean, as long as we've been together, I still 51 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 2: don't know that it's a long discussion, to be honest. 52 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 3: We just gradually talk about it across the podcast whenever 53 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 3: something comes up. 54 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,359 Speaker 2: Well, we get interviewed on other shows, and people ask 55 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 2: us about it all the time. You know, how do 56 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 2: you meet or whatever? You know, origines of the show 57 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,799 Speaker 2: and stuff. So the first thing is about the name 58 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 2: of the show. The Black Guy who Teps got the 59 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 2: name from I used to have a blog called The 60 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 2: Black Guy Who Teps when blog spot was a thing, 61 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 2: and it was just a joke blog. I would post 62 00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 2: random thoughts, normally somewhere between ten and fifteen random thoughts, 63 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 2: and they'd be like a paragraph each, sometimes a sentence, 64 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: but they were all just like joki jokes or things 65 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: I thought about. Sometimes I post like rap parody lyrics 66 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 2: to it, Like I remember one time I wrote this 67 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 2: thing called the ten Weed Commandments or whatever it was, 68 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 2: after the ten Crack Commandments, with about smoking weed, even 69 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 2: though I don't smoke weed. So it was just like 70 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 2: jokes and stuff. 71 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: And to start. 72 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,959 Speaker 2: When I thought about starting a podcast, I listen to 73 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 2: this podcast, Keith and the Girl. 74 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: Big fans of them. 75 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: We do recaps for last week on Keith and Girl 76 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 2: every week with them. 77 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: And so I was a big fan of them. 78 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: They had an episode where they were told a fan 79 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: wrote in and they were kind of talking about Keith 80 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 2: and the Girl, like what you do is so easy, 81 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 2: it's no big deal. And so they said, if you 82 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 2: think it's so easy, why don't you do it yourself? 83 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: And you know, I did not think it was necessarily easy, 84 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 2: but I did think, why don't I do this my 85 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 2: Why don't we do this ourselves? And so from that moment, 86 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: I started thinking about how to do a podcast and 87 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,119 Speaker 2: what would I do if I did do a podcast, 88 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 2: and what would it look like? And you know, the 89 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 2: first thing I thought was, I would like it to 90 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: be funny. You know, I want to I'm gonna be 91 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: serious about it. I want to commit to it. I thought, 92 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 2: I don't want to do it by myself. 93 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: I just didn't. 94 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 2: I listened to other shows where it's just one person 95 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 2: talking for hours, so it wasn't my style. 96 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: You know. 97 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 2: I kind of feel feed off the energy of more 98 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 2: than one person in the room. 99 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: Normally that's my thing that I like to do. 100 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 2: So I thought, oh, me and Karen could do a 101 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: show and Karen, you know, in my mind, I'm like, well, 102 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 2: Karen's very funny. 103 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: She's just kind of naturally funny. 104 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 4: You know. 105 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 3: That's not like I didn't always think that, And it's 106 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 3: one of those things. But I didn't always have it, 107 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 3: not sense. 108 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 2: Of human just to be zero, well not by this time. 109 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 2: We were married for a while, so it to me. 110 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: I mean, I knew you were funny. 111 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 1: And like I said, naturally a character, which I think. 112 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 2: Is uh, very hard. Like you know, it's not not 113 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: not I shouldn't say hard, but it's just very rare. 114 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,679 Speaker 2: Like right, A lot of people do a lot of acting. 115 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 2: They do a lot of like I'm gonna do I'm 116 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 2: gonna say this, so I'm gonna kill. 117 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 4: Them with that. 118 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 3: Sometimes I don't even realize I'm funny. Sometimes I say 119 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 3: something everybody busts out in the room laughing, and I'm 120 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 3: be like. 121 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 4: Oh, that must have been funny. 122 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's just always yourself. 123 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,559 Speaker 2: And so I knew that, you know, you would be good. 124 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 2: I thought you would be good at it, and so 125 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,799 Speaker 2: I went to Karen. I said, hey, uh, let's start 126 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 2: this podcast, and she was like very unsure, you know, very. 127 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: I don't know. 128 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, if it was up to me, I 129 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 2: probably would have named it something that's not as catchy, 130 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 2: like riding care and Show or something, And maybe that 131 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 2: means the show doesn't do as good as it probably 132 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 2: wouldn't have done as good as it has because happened 133 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 2: was Karen said, I don't know if I want to 134 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 2: do the show or I'll do it, but if you 135 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 2: feel like replacing me because I'm not good at it, yeah. 136 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 4: I don't mind. I was like, hey, I can do 137 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 4: production work, I can do editing. 138 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 2: Which is ridiculous because she wasn't gonna do any of 139 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 2: that stuff. Like I've tried to show her how to 140 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 2: edit the show and stuff. She takes like two notes 141 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 2: one time and that's it. So it's not so it's 142 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 2: not about it. 143 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: No, it was never gonna be a thing. I already 144 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 1: know how to edit it. We don't need that. 145 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 2: I was like, just show up and be yourself and 146 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 2: it'll be funny. And then it's probably the reason that 147 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 2: the format is what it is. Is that too, because 148 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 2: I because she was hesitant to want to do it. 149 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 2: I remember thinking like, well, I'm gonna do all the 150 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 2: prep so she just had to show up and be herself. 151 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: And then it's not you. 152 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 2: Know, fretting and worrying about preparation and did I do good? 153 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: Did I do bad? 154 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 4: Like? 155 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 1: It's not that kind of thing. 156 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:03,799 Speaker 2: So we went with the name from the blog because 157 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: she wasn't sure she was gonna do it. Like I said, 158 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 2: I would have started to show and call the Garad 159 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 2: and Karen Show, but instead it ended up being The 160 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: Blackout Tips, which is kind of a noncommittal name, so 161 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 2: that if she would have said, I don't think I 162 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 2: like this, I'm not good at it, I quit and 163 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 2: say three episodes in, I had to get do it 164 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: by myself or I had to get a co host, 165 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 2: it would have still been the Blackout Tips. I wouldn't 166 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 2: have to change anything because it would have been weird 167 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 2: to have a show to Ride and Karen show in 168 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: three episodes in. 169 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 4: And no care right, I'm like, what is this? I 170 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 4: don't know, there's no rules, what's happening here? 171 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 2: So that's how we got the name. You know, as 172 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 2: far as the dual relationship. 173 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: Episode, no we've never done one. 174 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 2: I'm not really sure what the relationship episode would entail, 175 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 2: cause I me personally, I don't like relationship advice, to 176 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 2: give it or whatever. I don't if someone else wants 177 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 2: to do that kind of show, it's not my thing. 178 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 2: But you know, I'm not really a big person. I'm 179 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 2: not really I'm not. I think I don't have the 180 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 2: ego to believe that because our relationship is good, we 181 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: have the answers to everybody else's problem. And that's a 182 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 2: big thing for me that I think you gotta almost 183 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 2: be an ego maniac or a narcissist or like something 184 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: to really think you can solve. 185 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: Everybody's issues like you know, or not even that. 186 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 2: It's just you have to either take yourself not that 187 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 2: seriously or way too seriously. 188 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: And I don't take myself very seriously. So yeah, and. 189 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 2: Then the impact part of me don't want anybody coming 190 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 2: back to me like, but ron, I took your. 191 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: Advice and it didn't work, So I'm like, I don't 192 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 1: want to be. 193 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 2: Responsible for that shit. I'd just rather be responsible for 194 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 2: these jokes. So if you mean relationship advice or relationship 195 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 2: advice episode, then we probably would never do that. But 196 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 2: if you just mean, how do we meet episode, We've 197 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 2: explained it a few times, but we grew up in 198 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 2: the same neighborhood. 199 00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 4: We trust this elementary school. 200 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew each other since elementary. I think I 201 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: got to we went to junior high together. High school. 202 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 2: I think it's when I started sitting with Karen on 203 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 2: the bus tenth grade. Yeah, and she would save me 204 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 2: a seat and we would talk. 205 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 1: Every day. It was so serious. 206 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 3: I remember the bus driver when anybody would try to 207 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 3: sit in that seat, she. 208 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 4: Would tell them, now, I'm sitting that seat. That seat 209 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,839 Speaker 4: is roder. I was like, yep, yeah. I would look 210 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 4: at that. 211 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 3: We'd be right behind the bus driving right up front. 212 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 3: I'd like, Nope, you can't sit here. 213 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 214 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 2: So, and you know, I can't imagine I guess if 215 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have sat there, people probably I don't know. 216 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: If it was one of those. 217 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 2: Things where every time I sat there, if it was 218 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: like if I wouldn't have sat there, people would be like, man, 219 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: I know you're gonna go sit there or whatever. But 220 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 2: I don't remember. I don't even remember not sitting there. 221 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 2: After we really started sitting together, and so, you know, 222 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,199 Speaker 2: I can talk, man, so she was just talking. 223 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 4: I can. 224 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 3: I don't think people understand how much I talk. Like 225 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 3: Roger has been with me basically all majority of my life. 226 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 3: I can talk paint off a motherfucking wild. I could 227 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 3: talk you to death. My mama used to fall asleep 228 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 3: on me. She'd be snowing now and give a goddamn. 229 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 3: I was that kid that would like talk and talk 230 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 3: and talk and talk and talk and talk, go to sleep, talking, 231 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 3: wake up talking. 232 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 4: Talking was my gem. 233 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 3: I remember when I was a little kid. I used 234 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 3: to love to goddamn telephone. Why because I could talk? 235 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: And she's still like that. 236 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 2: So it's interesting because I think if you hear this podcast, 237 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 2: you probably go n talks a lot. But this is 238 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 2: really not the truth I talk. I talked to people 239 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 2: I know a lot. I know or I love. I 240 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 2: don't mind talking to them a lot. But I don't 241 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 2: talk to people in general that much. 242 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 4: He he don't. I am the I'm the talker. 243 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 3: And what's and what's so ironic though, is that if Roger, 244 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 3: if there's something that comes up and Roger talks for 245 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 3: an extensive period. 246 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 4: Of time, I'm like, oh, whatever that says. 247 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 1: This Nigga is serious. 248 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 3: Me. 249 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 4: I just talk all the time. 250 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 3: But if Roger start talking, for like it starts creeping 251 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 3: in the team fifteen to twenty minutes, I'd be. 252 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 4: Like, Oh, this is just whatever that says. 253 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 3: This is something that he is taking seriously because he 254 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 3: don't talk like that. 255 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,719 Speaker 2: Well I'm not stoic or anything, but I just don't 256 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 2: I'm a very efficient talker, yes, quick and to the point. 257 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 2: I don't like repeating myself. I don't like people repeating 258 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 2: shit to me. You know, if someone tells me something 259 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 2: that I and they already told me, I'm clear to 260 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: be like, hey, you told me this fart, Like, what's 261 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 2: the new information? 262 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: You know. 263 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 2: So at any rate, we would sit, she would talk, 264 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 2: and I think we exchanged like phone numbers or something 265 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:47,960 Speaker 2: because I like talking to her. 266 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,319 Speaker 4: And then. 267 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 2: During the summer when there was no school, I would 268 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: just you know, call her every once in a while 269 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 2: and we would. 270 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 3: Just talk talk like like we have been talking forever. 271 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 3: And that's one thing that I love relationships like that, 272 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 3: and those relationships are rare. 273 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 4: Where I have a really really good. 274 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 3: Friend of mine I've known like twenty years, and because 275 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 3: we've known each other since we've been in our twenties, 276 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 3: and this particular friend of mine, whenever we talk. We 277 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 3: can go two three years sometimes without actually talking to 278 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 3: each other because she's married, got kids, she got shit 279 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 3: to do. But whenever we talk, it is like it's 280 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 3: like a reset. We just laugh, joke feeling, you know, 281 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:33,959 Speaker 3: talk like we talk every day and I'm like, all right, girl, 282 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 3: I highlight your last shit, but like I highlight your lady. 283 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 4: We'll texting things like that. 284 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 3: But I know that the love is still there, and 285 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 3: I've realized growing up as an adult, everybody doesn't function 286 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 3: like that. And there are some people that are like 287 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 3: I need for you to call me every day all 288 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 3: the time. I don't function well in those type of relationships. 289 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 3: Well just for me, I don't function well in those 290 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 3: type of relationships. And there are people that will give 291 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 3: you that attention. It just happens nice to be me. 292 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 2: So then we would talk on the phone and stuff, 293 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 2: and I mean we talked about hours. 294 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,319 Speaker 1: It would be about Tom and Jerry. 295 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 2: It wasn't nothing flirty or sexual because at that time 296 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 2: I was still a nerd that played you know, video 297 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 2: games and comic books and toys and shit, like I 298 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 2: was a nerd to at least fourteen fifteen as far 299 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 2: as just nerd, just a nerd. 300 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about girls and that very much at all. 301 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 2: I would play basketball outside my you know, my brother 302 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 2: and my friends and stuff. 303 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: But you know, during the day during summer, you know. 304 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 2: Before you get a job and all this shit. You know, 305 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 2: you're stuck at home and it's like our call care. 306 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 2: And then we talked about just bullshit. 307 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: And and we were friends. 308 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 2: And so then I want to say, I want to 309 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 2: say that was middle school. And then I went to 310 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 2: Harden for like not even a year, half a year. 311 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 2: I went to Harden High School as a Magnet school, 312 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 2: and I did terrible. I wasn't ready for high school. 313 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 2: And then I came back to middle school. This is 314 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 2: like when middle school went to tenth ninth grade and 315 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 2: Magnet school was ninth through twelfth. 316 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: So I went there. I was terrible. 317 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 2: I was a smart kid, but I wasn't ready to 318 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 2: like go to my own classes and schedule everything and 319 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 2: all this shit. 320 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: I was just terrible there. And so we get I 321 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: get back and you know, same thing. 322 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 2: Hit it off, like like always get on the bus 323 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 2: and sit with her and all this stuff and I 324 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 2: wanted to say. She asked, oh, I was playing basketball 325 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 2: and in the kind of in my backyard area this 326 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 2: neighbor's house, and my dad or somebody came down from 327 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 2: the house and I was like, hey, you come to 328 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 2: the house real quick. 329 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm. 330 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 2: Playing basketball, and it was like, you know, you play 331 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 2: basketball every day. 332 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 4: To the nigga, ain't dude, come on please? 333 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 2: So I came up there and Karen asked me to 334 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 2: go to see a play beauty shop too at the 335 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 2: bow Jangles Coliseum. 336 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 1: Yes, sir, and I said no. I was like, I'm 337 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: gonna play basketball. 338 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 4: Like my feelings was hurt. I was like, well, Mama, 339 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 4: I guess they don't like me. Yeah, because you know, 340 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 4: because I got the tickets. 341 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 3: And my mom was like, well, who you're gonna go with? 342 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 3: Because I'm not going. I was like, well, I asked Roger, 343 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 3: you know me and right to talk all the time. 344 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 4: I was like, he're pretty cool. Then I was like, well, 345 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 4: I guess I found somebody else to go with, or 346 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 4: I think. I was like, I don't even know if 347 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 4: I'm gonna go now. 348 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was I just honestly didn't even I didn't 349 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 2: know shit. 350 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 4: Girls wouldn't know his mind. 351 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking about girls at all. I was, you know, 352 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 2: I didn't know anything. And then it was like uh uh. 353 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: And the other thing too, is like it was like 354 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: to a play. So I was like, like, what is it? 355 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: You know, it wasn't like the movies or whatever. 356 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: It's like I played, which I'm like, I don't even 357 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 2: know what this is about. So I went back to 358 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,440 Speaker 2: play basketball and. 359 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: They was like where'd you go? 360 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, this girl came and asked 361 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: me to go to a play with her tonight. And 362 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 2: they was like and you said yes, right, So what 363 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 2: you're doing here? And I was like no, I said no, 364 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm playing ball. And it was like are you fucking stupid? Like, no, 365 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 2: girls are asking any of us to do anything? 366 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 4: You like that right? If they're asking us for a reason, sir, it's. 367 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 2: Like I wish somebody would ask me to do something 368 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 2: like I wish. 369 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 4: A girl would ask me to go anywhere with them. 370 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: So I was like, oh my god, y'all are right. 371 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: That was that was very stupid. 372 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 2: So I ran back to the house as fast as 373 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 2: I could, and I think I got on the phone 374 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 2: and called. It was like, I changed my mind. I 375 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 2: do want to go, you know, sorry about that. 376 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: And then we went to the play and I want 377 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: to say, your mom drove us or something. 378 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 4: Yep, she drove us, dropped us off and came back 379 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 4: and picked us up. 380 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: Yep. 381 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 2: And then uh, I think before she came to pick 382 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 2: us up, we kissed very first kiss. 383 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: And you know, I just laid it down on the 384 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: right end. 385 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 2: I appreciated her, you know, even taking the time and 386 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,119 Speaker 2: paying for these tickets and stuff. And you know, I'm not, 387 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 2: you know, approved, I always you know, put out if 388 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 2: somebody puts in the effort, you know. 389 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 4: Oh really okay? And on a low y'all. 390 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 3: We had a ball at that theater because this is 391 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 3: like way before Tyler period, you know, I mean Tyler 392 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,880 Speaker 3: Parent Party was around, but before his plays were like everywhere. 393 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 3: And this is when they used to go back and 394 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,439 Speaker 3: get the old school arm beat singles. 395 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,120 Speaker 4: And that's how they used to promote it on the radio. 396 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 4: Such and such a it's such and such a from 397 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,920 Speaker 4: this group. You know it's gonna be on yo, mama, 398 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:43,760 Speaker 4: Benby shot. 399 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 3: Forty five, you know, come on down to the boat 400 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 3: Jagers Coliseum, and Sharlotte, North Carolina, and so we actually 401 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 3: had a good time and oh he was so black. 402 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 3: I remember sitting there and people booing and Yane and 403 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 3: then just having the ball, you know, like we do 404 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 3: at the Black movie Theater set for the self for 405 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 3: the actors can actually hear you. 406 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like one of those church plays 407 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 2: that is it's church is black, churchy, but it's actually 408 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 2: kind of like dirty and raunchy. I just remember the 409 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 2: man's name was Trouble in it, and of course y'all 410 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 2: guess what he was Troubled. 411 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 4: He was the music change. 412 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: So I. 413 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 2: So you know, from there, you know, we uh, because 414 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 2: you know, at that point, I was like, I guess 415 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 2: we kind of go together or whatever. 416 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,360 Speaker 1: We're talking you know down down south, Yeah, talking. 417 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:40,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, court each other as those folks say. 418 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 1: And then you know, uh, you. 419 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 2: Know, long story short, you know, talking in the hallway 420 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 2: and holding hands and all that type of ship. And 421 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 2: you know, I still remember the date. Uh it was 422 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 2: April second that I asked her to go with me. 423 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 2: But because that was a big deal. You didn't just 424 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 2: ask everybody to go with you guys, when you're making 425 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 2: decisions at sixteen, I mean, this is a pretty major decision. 426 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 2: That's that's the will you marry me? 427 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: Of sixteen? 428 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it was it was critical, and it 429 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 3: was one of them things well, I mean, we were 430 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 3: such good friends. 431 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,360 Speaker 4: I was like, I don't want to ruin this beautiful 432 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 4: friendship dating you. 433 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 2: But by this time I was pretty sure because I, 434 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 2: you know, had had my eyes open, you know what 435 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 2: I mean. And so I remember I had seen she 436 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 2: was wearing a dress this time at school and that 437 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 2: thing was sitting and I was like, my friend, what 438 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 2: is happening. 439 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 1: What are these feelings that. 440 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 4: I'm having on the inside. 441 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: You know. 442 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,719 Speaker 2: I was like I have changed, I have you know, 443 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 2: I like girls, I like women, women, women, women, you know. 444 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 4: I was. 445 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,639 Speaker 2: You got something I like, I will not date a 446 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: man's you know. I was completely You was like chance, 447 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 2: what was in basketball? I was like, I could be 448 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 2: into this, you know. So, and what's so funny? You 449 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 2: still like transformers in basketball to today? 450 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course? 451 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know so, Yeah, we started dating stuff 452 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 2: and then went to college together. I went a year 453 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 2: ahead of Karen, but we ended up going to the 454 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 2: same school, Fabuel State. I got a scholarship there. It 455 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 2: was an HBCU. It was two and a half hours away, 456 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 2: so like far enough away from home where you're independent, 457 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 2: but not far away from home where it's like, if 458 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,360 Speaker 2: an emergency happened, I'm on my own. 459 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, aboud have got to fly out deal some shit. Yeah. 460 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. So I went to Fabuel State. 461 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 2: And then Caring got a scholarship to Fedel State as well. 462 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 2: And so, which is one of the reasons our student 463 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 2: loans weren't like killer agreed, because it could have been like, 464 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 2: it could have been worse, and it still took us 465 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 2: forever to pay a mom Like, think about that. We 466 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 2: went to an HBC you in the state state school, 467 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 2: and we was paying for. 468 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 3: Them bitches to the thirties and then we even got 469 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 3: we had them to get them deferred and all that shit, 470 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,399 Speaker 3: you know, because when you get out of school, they. 471 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 4: Go, oh, nigga, you got six months. 472 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,639 Speaker 3: Then they'd be like then they come on Fano Man, 473 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 3: freend Ofmac and whoever else you don't come knocking on 474 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 3: your dog, go and bit you with my money. 475 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: Yeah. So, as far as challenges, I think that first 476 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: year in school was a challenge because she was still 477 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: in high school at home. 478 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 2: I was away and I remember thinking, like, am I 479 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 2: basically making her waste her senior year waiting on me 480 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 2: or some shit? 481 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: That seems kind of whack. 482 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 2: Everyone thought I was being whacked to waste my freshman 483 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 2: year quote unquote, but I was like, I don't feel 484 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 2: like it's a waste necessarily. 485 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: But you know, that was a period of time where 486 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: I was like, you. 487 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 2: Know, if if you think we should break up or 488 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 2: we shouldn't, you know, like that's fine, because I do 489 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 2: feel it's almost like guilt to be like, I'm here 490 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 2: at college and you having a senior year of going 491 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: back home every day or not really doing senior shit, 492 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 2: you know. But we made it through that year. It 493 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 2: was tough, you know, but we made it through that year, 494 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 2: I think. And once we were in college, you know, 495 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 2: we still had that other year right where I was 496 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 2: working in the workforce and she was graduating college, and 497 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 2: that one wasn't as tough because by that point we 498 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,479 Speaker 2: that was another thing. Freshman year, I didn't have a 499 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 2: car for like half the year, I think, so that 500 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 2: it's like how you're gonna get home when you're going 501 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 2: and we were seeing each other every day at school, 502 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,439 Speaker 2: we were so it was like it sucked. It just 503 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 2: fucking sucked. That was the way I looked at it. 504 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 2: But you know that that But when we were, you know, 505 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 2: her senior year in college of my you know, first 506 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 2: year out of school, I'll just go back drive, you know, 507 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 2: drive back to Fairville every weekend or so, and she 508 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 2: would come home sometimes. 509 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: And so that was we made that work. 510 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 2: After she graduated, we had that year where it wasn't 511 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 2: like a year, but like things were kind of hard 512 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 2: for her at her house and I was at my parents. 513 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 1: I was living with my parents. She was living with 514 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 1: her mom. 515 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,400 Speaker 2: And things were just getting so difficult for her at 516 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: her house that I just remember being like, why don't 517 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 2: we just get an apartment and move in together? 518 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: You know? During college was when I proposed. 519 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 2: We got engaged, and it was the library in the library, yeah, 520 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 2: in the study. 521 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 4: Room, Yes, and I had my what do you call. 522 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 3: Those those things, the them. 523 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 4: Souter swoosh, shush shoosh. I forgot the name of the waker. 524 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, I still had a picture. 525 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 2: But we got we got engaged. It was still we 526 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 2: still had this ring, but it was a cheap ring. 527 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,639 Speaker 3: We got Roger Max's first credit card out off of 528 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 3: that ring from the mall. 529 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 4: From the mall. 530 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 3: Yes, my nigga, you max your credit and it was 531 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 3: like a whole set and it's the ring. 532 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,440 Speaker 4: I got onto the day. I love this motherfucking ring. 533 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 3: I know a lot of people be like, yeah, cheap 534 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,199 Speaker 3: ass ring. I like, nigga, do you know what it 535 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 3: took to get this ring? We had to max credit 536 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 3: cards out and it. 537 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,159 Speaker 2: Was, Uh, what's funny is that set me on the 538 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,439 Speaker 2: path to what That's still the only credit card I 539 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 2: have not paid off. I'm still paying that fucking credit 540 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 2: card off because uh, like so many memories on that card. 541 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 1: Yes, it is the Dreamcast. 542 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 3: Yes, we actually we stood outside of kb tor store 543 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 3: when the Dreamcast first came out. Nigga, me and you, 544 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 3: six am in the morning, Me and you and the 545 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 3: other nerves in Fadville at the mall, all the other 546 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 3: gates you locked. 547 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,439 Speaker 4: We was like, yes, we want a motherfucking Dreamcast. 548 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know that. 549 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 2: So that was like a challenge as far as like, hey, 550 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: we need to we gotta grow up, Like we're not 551 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 2: going to be able to do this path of like 552 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 2: we stayed home for a couple of years, save. 553 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: Up a bunch of money, get a house, get a 554 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,880 Speaker 1: big ass wedding and shit, and we're pretty practical people, so. 555 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 2: You know, it was like, listen, I love you. I 556 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,679 Speaker 2: know I want to be with you for rest in 557 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:25,880 Speaker 2: my life. I don't know, you know, there's no magical 558 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 2: thing we're waiting on. You're miserable at your house, and 559 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 2: I can't stand to see you sad, you know what 560 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,680 Speaker 2: I mean, because like you still got to come back 561 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 2: to this house every night or whatever. 562 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: And so I was like, why don't. 563 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 2: We just get an apartment, And so we were like, Okay, 564 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 2: let's get an apartment. 565 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 4: We move in. 566 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 1: She was a waitress at the time. 567 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 2: I had just after a year, gotten a job, like 568 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 2: a salary position, and it was fucked up because during 569 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 2: my college tenure I was an intern at this company 570 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 2: and I was making a lot of money for someone 571 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 2: my age. 572 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 3: Like. 573 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,920 Speaker 2: I think at the highest I've ever made it was 574 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 2: like twenty one dollars an hour for forty hours a 575 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 2: week for summer internship. So it was a good it 576 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 2: was good money for you know, a nineteen twenty year 577 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 2: old kid. And then when I graduated, I would have 578 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 2: been put into this basically a management situation where I'd 579 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 2: walk in the door, I'm already a manager. It was 580 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 2: through this organization called Inroads, Great organization, and there it 581 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,640 Speaker 2: was about helping talented minority youth get into. 582 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: Get into corporate America. 583 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 2: So you know, some respectability stuff, some some you know, 584 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 2: but kind of like the same shit you're gonna get 585 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 2: from any corporate America. They're not gonna It's not a 586 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 2: revolutionary thing. It's it's like, yo, this is how you. 587 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: Get the job. Now you could quit. 588 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 2: You could be like, I don't want that job, but 589 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 2: is it? But this is how you get the job. 590 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,440 Speaker 2: You don't have to want this job, but like, yeah, 591 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 2: you're gonna probably have to cut your hair. Yes, she's 592 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 2: gonna need the air suit. Yes, you're gonna have to 593 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 2: talk a certain way. Yes, this is how. This is 594 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 2: how they conduct business meetings. This is how you this 595 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 2: is how you order. 596 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: Food when you go to a restaurant. 597 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,360 Speaker 2: It was a lot of training, a lot of academic stuff. 598 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 1: We meet at UNC Charlotte. Charity was also a wing 599 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 1: of it, so we would have. 600 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 2: To do like charity events and car washes and uh 601 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 2: go to the old Folks Center and shave people and shit. 602 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,119 Speaker 2: Like I was it was just like a it was 603 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: a good organization for black kids. So that was one organization. 604 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 2: That's how I basically got this gotn' got aligned into. 605 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,440 Speaker 1: The uh what do you call it, the. 606 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:45,360 Speaker 2: H logistics if the shipping logistics industry, but coming off 607 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 2: working for sealand gets bought by mrsk in the middle 608 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 2: of all this, which they would uh. 609 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: We didn't offer you no job. 610 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 4: We did make that promise. 611 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 1: We didn't do no internship. 612 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 4: They was like, we can't do nothing for you, man. Yeah, 613 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 4: I hate to say it. I hope I don't sound 614 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,160 Speaker 4: rid because I don't. 615 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 3: Know who this man is. 616 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,199 Speaker 4: I mean he could be walking down the street. I 617 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 4: wouldn't I wouldn't know a thing, sorry to this man. 618 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,879 Speaker 1: So, yeah, they hit me with the with the not 619 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: that's not our company. 620 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 4: We got our own manager, sir. 621 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,639 Speaker 2: So I went and worked at ihop, which you know, 622 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 2: during all this time with this, with this internship, I 623 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 2: had worked other jobs too. 624 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:34,439 Speaker 1: You know. 625 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 2: I worked at fast food when I was in school. 626 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 2: I had a few fast food jobs that didn't pan out. 627 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 2: Horble pizza of a job, a terrible Winnes's job. I 628 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 2: almost got stabbed. 629 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 3: Ah, that Winness job was something else, and I got 630 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 3: pulled over by the police and they kept sucking my schedule. 631 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 1: But you know, I had that I. 632 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 2: Had uh as part of my internship, I had to 633 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 2: work in the school for free at the academic office. 634 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 1: And ship that sucked. 635 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,719 Speaker 2: Anyway, all this shit was happening in school or whatever, 636 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 2: and uh, but it but it culminated and you know, 637 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 2: me finally getting a job in the industry that I 638 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,719 Speaker 2: fucking was training for my whole college tenure. And so 639 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 2: that was just barely enough money for us to be like, 640 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 2: we got some rent between between my job holding down 641 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 2: the rent and holding down you know, the utilities and 642 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 2: the tips from caring the cash that you know, you 643 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 2: don't have to really report to the ohurrence the cash 644 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 2: money from shown in. 645 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 4: And I'm not trying to back out. 646 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 2: I was a hell of a waitress. She was a 647 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 2: hell of a waitress. Although at some point Shone's itself 648 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,280 Speaker 2: just started falling off. And then I think you moved, 649 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 2: you went to I Hop, and then that I. 650 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 1: Hop wasn't that good. 651 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 3: And then I started actually temping to do something within 652 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:58,400 Speaker 3: my field. 653 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, and eventually we it up both getting jobby jobs. 654 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: But I mean the struggle was real man. 655 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 2: Like you talk about challenges, money was a huge fucking 656 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 2: challenge for us because we were so young. 657 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:17,840 Speaker 3: And didn't know. We didn't even know that when you 658 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 3: get married you gotta have witnesses. 659 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 4: Because we jumped up like, let's get married today. Okay, 660 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 4: we flew out. Other people set us like where's your witnesses? Witnesses? 661 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 2: It was like, yeah, so you skip, you gotta tell 662 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 2: all the story. 663 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: You're gonna tell that. So we were like, let's get 664 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: married because you know, we ain't getting no younger. 665 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 2: But we did get married very pragmatically, like it was 666 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 2: because I was like, listen, we might. 667 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: Could do like a big wedding and a big thing, 668 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: but it would. 669 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 2: Probably take us years of saving and then going into 670 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 2: debt with credit to even be able to pour something 671 00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 2: like that off. 672 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 3: We didn't want family to do anything extra anything because 673 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 3: it was a lot of you know, my family is 674 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 3: I could do this and I could do that, and 675 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 3: I thought about that thing. 676 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 4: I was like, nah, I don't, I don't, I don't. 677 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 4: I don't want y'all to do none of that. 678 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: So we were. 679 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 2: We were like, let's just go get married. Let's see 680 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 2: what you have to do to get married, and people 681 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 2: like you can go to the Justice of Peace or whatever. 682 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 2: We're like, okay, so I think we went down there 683 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 2: because you got to get like a form or something 684 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 2: to fill out first. We went down there and we 685 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,239 Speaker 2: were determined. We were like that day is can we 686 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 2: just get married? 687 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,479 Speaker 4: We was like, can we do it today? Today? 688 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 2: Can y'all just have a couple people be witnesses? But 689 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 2: I want to say the day we went, they were 690 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 2: either closed or like there was something where it's like, 691 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,960 Speaker 2: you can't do it today. So it was like, okay, 692 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 2: well I think it. 693 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: Was Labor Day. They were open. 694 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 2: September the second, two thousand and I want to say 695 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:59,719 Speaker 2: two because yeah, so I was like, you know, I'm 696 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 2: paying par and say her mom where our witnesses. We 697 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 2: went down to the Justice of Peace. We didn't really 698 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 2: get too dressed up. You know, it's like business casules. 699 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 4: Sets with some open toe sandals. 700 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,480 Speaker 2: And then uh after, after we did the wedding paperwork 701 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 2: and all that stuff, we went to McCormick and SMIs. 702 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 4: Yes we did and they good. 703 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 2: My parents hooked us up and then we were done 704 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 2: moving everything into the apartment and we just went back home, 705 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 2: and oh and that was the thing. We moved into 706 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 2: the apartment that same weekend, you know, so like I 707 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 2: want to say, we only spent one night in our. 708 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,840 Speaker 1: Apartment where we weren't married at the most, because you know. 709 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 4: Maybe a day or two at the most. 710 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,760 Speaker 1: So I know, I know something about living in sin 711 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: is what I'm saying, y'all. So if you ever want to. 712 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 2: Write into me about that, uh but uh yes, this 713 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 2: is one of the reasons I don't give advice like 714 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 2: this ship. 715 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: Our lives have nothing to do with other people's lives, y'all. 716 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 3: A lot of people have actually uh dated and actually 717 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,479 Speaker 3: been in the dating world for a long period of time. 718 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 3: So your your life experience is nothing like ours. You know. 719 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 2: I always feel like mostly uh like it's funny, you know. 720 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: I think people think this is some sort of like. 721 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 2: Pessimism or I'm trying to knock the romanticism from love. 722 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 2: But when I tell people I feel more lucky then 723 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 2: than like skilled or it's like you gotta get lucky. 724 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 2: Some of this shit is just real lucky to draw, 725 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 2: you know. And this same story, this same story. 726 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 1: If I put it on Twitter, would be called struggle love. 727 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 2: And this is why y'all shouldn't be together, and that's 728 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 2: to your going to get married. So like nobody knows 729 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 2: what the fuck they're talking about. People only care about 730 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 2: the finished product. People look at us now and go, 731 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 2: what a happier marriage, what a happy relationship. But during 732 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,360 Speaker 2: that time they would have been looking at us like 733 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 2: these niggas that. 734 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 1: Get flowed out and shit, like what an idiot? 735 00:33:58,960 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 4: You know, Come on. 736 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 3: Now, and weent through unemployment and all that stuff like yeah, 737 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,160 Speaker 3: it was a you know, a struggle back you know, 738 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 3: back in the day though. 739 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, so so yeah, we get we got married, and 740 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 2: then it was funny. I went to work because I 741 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 2: didn't tell nobody at my job either. I just had 742 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,840 Speaker 2: to ring on when I went to work and they 743 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 2: was like, did you get married? I was like, yeah, 744 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,439 Speaker 2: and you didn't tell us. I was like, first of all, bitch, 745 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 2: I've had this job for thirty days. Like, calm down, 746 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,319 Speaker 2: everybody in this office, calm the fuck down. 747 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 1: We're not friends. I don't know y'all. 748 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 2: Y'all don't talk to me, you don't hug my neck, 749 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,799 Speaker 2: you see me at the check catching place, and so. 750 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,320 Speaker 1: They but they were so sweet. 751 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 2: They got us like some money to get like a 752 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 2: gift card to like Target or something. 753 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,840 Speaker 1: We got like first vacuum cleaner. 754 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 4: Yes, I first that our first vacuum cleaner. 755 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 3: Uh. And I didn't tell nobody at my job either. 756 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 3: They was like, why didn't you tell nobody? And I 757 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 3: told them, I said, look, don't stop. 758 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, Bill still got to be paid 759 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 4: and I ain't got no money to be you. 760 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 3: Know, frivolous with as far as I was concerned, and 761 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 3: you know, it was just one of those things. But 762 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 3: people they just because me and Roger are just different. 763 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 3: I can say that because we didn't go to the prom. 764 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 3: People thought we were weird because we didn't go to 765 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 3: to neither one of our proms and so it's just 766 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 3: it's just not our thing. So for a lot of people, 767 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 3: they just don't understand us. 768 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a yeah. 769 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 2: Like I said, this is why I don't give advice 770 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 2: because I always feel like it's like people with people 771 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 2: say shit. 772 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 1: Like, man, you got your woman not to have a wedding. Now, 773 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: how you do that? Brother? How can I find it? 774 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,919 Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know, find a woman that's 775 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 2: not that worried about having a wedding. It's not like 776 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 2: I did some convincing or some shit it was, you know. 777 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 2: It wasn't like a magical like, oh I got this 778 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,080 Speaker 2: bitch hypnotized doll. 779 00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: So what I did? I pulled out a fucking. 780 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 2: Pocket watch and I started swinging it back and forth. 781 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 2: I said, now look at the pocket watch. Okay, now everyone, 782 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 2: I want a wedding now, Pat now cluck like a chicken, 783 00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 2: like that's not how it works. 784 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 1: It didn't want. 785 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,839 Speaker 3: Y'all, I clear, was it because I was thinking, like, right, say, 786 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 3: pragmatic going how much? 787 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 4: Nah? 788 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 3: Not, I'm not trying to have you know, people go 789 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 3: out of their way anything like that. I remember when 790 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,320 Speaker 3: I told my mama we was gonna get married and stuff. 791 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 4: She was like, well, I'm telling you right now, I 792 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,280 Speaker 4: can't afford the wind. 793 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,400 Speaker 3: You know, because I guess it's tradition for the rides 794 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:25,759 Speaker 3: people to pay for win. 795 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 4: I looked at her, I said, I'll said, you're not 796 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,280 Speaker 4: getting married. I did not you to pay for no wedding, 797 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:30,239 Speaker 4: you know. 798 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,320 Speaker 3: And like I said, I said, I know that's abnormal, 799 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:32,880 Speaker 3: but I did. 800 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 4: Not expectation of her. 801 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,320 Speaker 2: But also at that time, y'all were kind of going 802 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 2: through it, so I don't think. 803 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 1: Like I don't know it was it was. 804 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 2: It was a lot of ship over there, so you know, 805 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:50,400 Speaker 2: and then you know normal challenges, I think, job loss, transitions, uh, 806 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,200 Speaker 2: rent getting raised. 807 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 1: The rent being too high, sometimes. 808 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 2: Car trouble, you know, money. Ship was always a thing, 809 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 2: relationship stuff. It wasn't nothing that was too bad, and 810 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 2: definitely nothing that I would put on a podcast for 811 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:13,960 Speaker 2: all business. But which is another problem I think everybody 812 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 2: has now is telling very personal shit that that is 813 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,360 Speaker 2: not everybody's business to the world. Like I see that 814 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 2: on Twitter all the time, where I'd be like, you 815 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 2: should have kept. 816 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 1: That to yourself. 817 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 2: Not not because you should keep that to like it's 818 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 2: a secret and you should be ashamed you didn't tell anybody, 819 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 2: but because it's not everybody's business. Like maybe your friends know, 820 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 2: maybe your family knows, maybe your spouse knows, but like 821 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,880 Speaker 2: you know, as much as we've done this show, I 822 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 2: always tell people you're getting a version of us, but 823 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,600 Speaker 2: no one's getting the unbrider one hundred us. 824 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,839 Speaker 1: Because that's that's what intimacy is, It's ours. Why would 825 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: I give that to you? You know what I mean? 826 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,800 Speaker 2: And hopefully you wouldn't do that to me, you know 827 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 2: what I mean, like hopefully you would like, I don't 828 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,840 Speaker 2: like what people hit me with the yeah man. So 829 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 2: you know that was the first time that uh, you know, 830 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 2: I shot somebody. I'd be like, nigga, I don't know 831 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,799 Speaker 2: you and this is I and now I don't want 832 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 2: to I'm scared. 833 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 1: My alibi witness. 834 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 4: This is the information that I didn't need to know. 835 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 3: And so it's just one of those things where I 836 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 3: think over the years we've grown closer and things like that. 837 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 3: You know, We've dealt with sickness, we dealt with surgeries, 838 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 3: you know, and all types of things. And as the 839 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 3: years went on, we As you grown, your love for 840 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 3: your spouse should evolve too, and our love has evolved 841 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:39,840 Speaker 3: over the years. 842 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 4: You know. 843 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 3: The love that I have for Roger now is a 844 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,359 Speaker 3: different type of love that I had for him when 845 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 3: I was in my early twenties. 846 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,480 Speaker 4: Because the thing about when your early. 847 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:54,320 Speaker 3: Twenties love is intense than you're young, it's very extremely 848 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 3: intent intense. But as you get older, your love becomes deeper. 849 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 3: Where is there's things that you get excited about, and 850 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,439 Speaker 3: there's things to make you happy, but you don't get 851 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 3: that intensity, which is not a bad thing. It's like 852 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 3: it's almost like a longevity. And so I realized over 853 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 3: the years that I began to know him and learn 854 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 3: him as a person because and that's the thing, we 855 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,360 Speaker 3: actually grew up together, which is very different than people 856 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,879 Speaker 3: meeting people later on in their lives. 857 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 4: You know, after they've been through relationships. 858 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,080 Speaker 3: Been through a lot of her a lot of pain 859 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:29,920 Speaker 3: and back and forth, and have children. 860 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 4: Like it is not the same. 861 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:36,320 Speaker 3: So us giving people a relationship advice, and we haven't 862 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,080 Speaker 3: experienced a lot of the things that a lot of 863 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 3: people have experienced in life. And so you know, for me, 864 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,360 Speaker 3: this is one reason why we joke about, you know, 865 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 3: being broken things like that. 866 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,439 Speaker 4: Yes, because we was broke. 867 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,160 Speaker 3: I remember calling them people talking about, hey, dog, I 868 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 3: made two thirteen an hour hour. 869 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,160 Speaker 1: Freda May. 870 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,400 Speaker 3: Sala May and Freda Mack ain't about to give the 871 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,600 Speaker 3: dime out of me, bitches because I can't pay you. 872 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, so and then yeah, I think that's really a 873 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:06,680 Speaker 1: bad I mean. 874 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 2: And then of course we decided not to have kids, 875 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 2: which is kind of an interesting thing because, uh, I 876 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 2: think that was one of those things that you think 877 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,920 Speaker 2: you're supposed to do. Yeah, and everybody tell like you 878 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 2: just when you're gonna have some kids and all this 879 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 2: type of shit, and you know, Karen was like, I 880 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,560 Speaker 2: don't really think I want to do that, and I'm 881 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,840 Speaker 2: you know, and I was like, that's fine, you know, 882 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,399 Speaker 2: and I think, uh, I mean, I love to say 883 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 2: it was more conflicting than that and all that shit, 884 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:46,880 Speaker 2: but I love her so to me that whatever is 885 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,840 Speaker 2: gonna make her happy is what I'm I would prefer 886 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,400 Speaker 2: to do. And it wasn't some like deal breaker for 887 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 2: me or something like I don't really have that kind 888 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 2: of ego tied up into it. 889 00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:58,400 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like. 890 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,959 Speaker 2: A religious thing or what, but I just like, that's 891 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 2: that's totally okay. 892 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,720 Speaker 3: And one thing that I can say, and I probably 893 00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 3: have told you this on the show before, one thing 894 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 3: I can say about you is that I wasn't You're 895 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 3: not a controlling person, and you don't have a controlling 896 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 3: almost like personality or spirit. 897 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 4: You're really laid back and really relaxed. 898 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,280 Speaker 3: So anything I do, you're like, okay, you know, because 899 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 3: it's been time where my hair has been gold and 900 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,200 Speaker 3: orange and purple and blue and whatever color I decide. 901 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,160 Speaker 4: I want it. It's been times, and you know. 902 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,600 Speaker 3: I've had wigs down my back, I've had braids, I've 903 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 3: had my hair and Roger look at me, go as 904 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,239 Speaker 3: you are you happy? And I go yep, And he'd 905 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 3: be like, okay, it's been times. Why I've gained weight, 906 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 3: I've lost weight, gain weight again, lost weight again. He 907 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,040 Speaker 3: was like, case you have fa I'm like yep, He's 908 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 3: like okay. And so that's one thing that I really 909 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,760 Speaker 3: love and appreciate because it was not these unnecessary precious 910 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,640 Speaker 3: I think when we first got married, I put. 911 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,880 Speaker 4: Ridiculous precious on myself. 912 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,839 Speaker 3: And that's why I tell people, whatever you think marriage is, 913 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,360 Speaker 3: toss it out the window, because your individual marriage is 914 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 3: gonna be unique to you and your spouse or significant 915 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 3: other partners. However you, however your situation is, it is 916 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,640 Speaker 3: unique to you because everybody is completely different. And so 917 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,080 Speaker 3: all these rules of regulations everybody tell you, they might 918 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,320 Speaker 3: not work for you, They might not work in your situation. 919 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,279 Speaker 4: If there is no apply all to. 920 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:31,000 Speaker 3: Every scenario, it is impossible. And so that's one thing 921 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,640 Speaker 3: that I can say I love about you because when 922 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:36,359 Speaker 3: when I didn't realize that not that. 923 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 4: How got I say this. 924 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,760 Speaker 3: I didn't realize how controlling men were over their spouses 925 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,080 Speaker 3: until it's just a simple thing. 926 00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:43,680 Speaker 1: You know. 927 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,240 Speaker 3: I come in one day my hair chopped off and cut, 928 00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 3: and people go, your husband allowed you, and honey, I. 929 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,320 Speaker 4: Almost get offen allowed. 930 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 3: I'm not his kid. 931 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,960 Speaker 4: They look at me like I'm crazy. I'm like, I'm 932 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,040 Speaker 4: not his kid, I'm not his choud. 933 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,239 Speaker 3: I don't tell me what to do, you know, and 934 00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 3: they look at me like I'm the lunatic. 935 00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 1: You know. 936 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,239 Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I get this because I was like, 937 00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 4: I didn't have to consult him for shit, you know. 938 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 3: And they look at me like I'm the crazy one, 939 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,279 Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, and I got that so much 940 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,120 Speaker 3: that I realize, Okay, this is the thing that happens 941 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 3: in other people relationships that. 942 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,399 Speaker 4: I don't have to deal with. And sometimes people think 943 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:19,239 Speaker 4: they slick. 944 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,399 Speaker 3: You know, even people, and I don't know if they 945 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 3: mean harm or not when they write in and say 946 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,040 Speaker 3: certain things. So Roger gets almost like get your bitch 947 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,359 Speaker 3: and check type of thing, and It's like, no, no, 948 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,040 Speaker 3: there's no getting me in check. I am who I am, 949 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,080 Speaker 3: and he's not my daddy, so you know, I am 950 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 3: free to do whatever I want to do and whatever 951 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:36,520 Speaker 3: I choose to do. 952 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,920 Speaker 4: He does not own me, and I am not his property. 953 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,360 Speaker 3: And I think that's very hard for people to understand 954 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,440 Speaker 3: because they think they treat marriages as as the spouse 955 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,719 Speaker 3: and the significant other is the property of somebody else. 956 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,880 Speaker 3: And no, no, baby, I'm not your property. I can 957 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,400 Speaker 3: do what I want to do and what I choose 958 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:55,320 Speaker 3: to do. And I think that sometimes it's very difficult 959 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 3: for people, and I've just kind of learned that, you know, 960 00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,600 Speaker 3: over the years. So I appreciate for having freedom of 961 00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 3: just being like that because I think that that works 962 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,239 Speaker 3: for us, you know, because I don't I couldn't be 963 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,319 Speaker 3: with anybody that would be controlling like that because I 964 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,920 Speaker 3: don't know how i'm a feel from one day to 965 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:10,480 Speaker 3: the next. 966 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,759 Speaker 2: I think, honestly, that's more normal than how we do it. 967 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:18,920 Speaker 2: I think the normal way is that people see relationships 968 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 2: as a power struggle, and like I said, that's one 969 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,440 Speaker 2: of the reason I don't like talking about relationships very much. 970 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 1: I don't like talking to people giving. 971 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,279 Speaker 2: Advice and shit because I know I see shit way 972 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:33,919 Speaker 2: differently than most people. And I'm not saying I could 973 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,759 Speaker 2: make every relationship work because I definitely am not. 974 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not here for drama. I'm not here. 975 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:46,319 Speaker 2: For people that get angry just because or people that 976 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,080 Speaker 2: have no accountability for their emotions. 977 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:50,279 Speaker 1: I'm not here. 978 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was exactly what I was about to say. Next, 979 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,400 Speaker 2: I'm not here for people that don't apologize. I apologize 980 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:01,400 Speaker 2: when I feel like I'm wrong. Now, I apologize sometimes, 981 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 2: and you know, and it's not necessarily a wrong or 982 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 2: right thing, you know, it could be just an approach thing. 983 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,200 Speaker 4: But yes, sometimes my tone like I might come out, 984 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 4: but you know what I could have did that better? 985 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,920 Speaker 4: I apologize my tone. 986 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:19,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think mostly I just I think being grateful 987 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,520 Speaker 2: practicing gratitude as people say, but it kind of comes 988 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:27,200 Speaker 2: naturally to me. But being grateful to me makes everything 989 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,839 Speaker 2: a lot more put things in perspective. And it's just like, 990 00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of people that are having 991 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 2: so much shit go wrong for them all the time, 992 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,840 Speaker 2: and there's been times when we've been having shit go 993 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:42,160 Speaker 2: wrong in our lives and you still have things to 994 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,600 Speaker 2: be grateful for, you know, even if it's just life, 995 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:49,320 Speaker 2: you know, another chance to do something better with yourself. 996 00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:53,120 Speaker 1: But I think for me. 997 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:59,080 Speaker 2: We're the outliers because arguing is normal for people. 998 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 4: Realize that. 999 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, people doing the silent treatment, not talking to each other, 1000 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 2: people you know, not coming home because they upset people, uh, 1001 00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:16,719 Speaker 2: checking each other's phones and not trusting each other and ship. 1002 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:23,359 Speaker 2: That's more commonplace than us. So yeah, yeah, and I 1003 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,200 Speaker 2: think that is us being honest. 1004 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I and I am content with that, and 1005 00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,520 Speaker 3: I am happy in my marriage, you know, because what 1006 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,480 Speaker 3: works for me doesn't work for everybody else. 1007 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,040 Speaker 4: Also, when we first got married. 1008 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 3: I would put the pressure of what I thought a 1009 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:38,359 Speaker 3: marriage should be. 1010 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,240 Speaker 4: So when we first got married, I would like cook 1011 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,359 Speaker 4: all the time and clean all the. 1012 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:46,880 Speaker 3: Time and wash clothes and work and y'all that was 1013 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,239 Speaker 3: motherfucking exhausting. But you know what Roger never asks for 1014 00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,760 Speaker 3: that that those were pressures that I put on myself 1015 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,520 Speaker 3: because that's what I thought a good woman should be. 1016 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,000 Speaker 3: And then when it's time to be intimate, you know, 1017 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,000 Speaker 3: I've worked, I've been up for a fourteen hours. 1018 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,640 Speaker 4: I'm exhausted, you know. 1019 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,440 Speaker 3: So it's just one of those things where I had 1020 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,080 Speaker 3: to learn a balances. I was like, you know, what, 1021 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,239 Speaker 3: fuck it if I look around, I but like I 1022 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:10,200 Speaker 3: don't want to wash clothes. Guess what, motherfucking clothes gonna 1023 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:11,799 Speaker 3: sit there till I feel like doing them. 1024 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,480 Speaker 4: You know, the house will not burn down. Nobody's going 1025 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:14,879 Speaker 4: to die. 1026 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,720 Speaker 3: It is not the goddamn end of the world because 1027 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,520 Speaker 3: I don't feel like doing something today. 1028 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm not a control freak, but I definitely like, 1029 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,879 Speaker 2: I like doing certain things around the house because. 1030 00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,200 Speaker 1: I like the way that I do them. 1031 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,920 Speaker 2: So, you know, a lot of times it would be like, 1032 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,839 Speaker 2: why are you making unnecessary work for yourself because it's 1033 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:37,200 Speaker 2: not making anything easier for me. It's not like I'm like, oh, 1034 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:40,160 Speaker 2: thank god you folded the clothes exactly and put them 1035 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 2: in the wrong drawer, Like, oh, now I gotta take 1036 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 2: them out and put them in the right drawer. Oh look, 1037 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,200 Speaker 2: you put this plate on this shelf, you know, like, 1038 00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:50,880 Speaker 2: now let me adjust this plate or whatever, which is 1039 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,200 Speaker 2: still works. So it's like, so to me, I was like, 1040 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,480 Speaker 2: why you just don't just let me do it? Like 1041 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,440 Speaker 2: I was gonna do this thing anyway I know how 1042 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,160 Speaker 2: to do it. You got a job, I got a job. 1043 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:06,000 Speaker 2: What would be the fucking sense. And because you're a woman, 1044 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:08,759 Speaker 2: you gotta do this all this extra shit around the 1045 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 2: house and then I'm just out doing whatever the fuck 1046 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:11,480 Speaker 2: I want to. 1047 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: That's ridiculous to me. 1048 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,719 Speaker 2: We didn't have a yard, so it wasn't like we 1049 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:18,440 Speaker 2: could divide the chores into like Roald, he's cutting the grass. 1050 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,000 Speaker 2: It was like, no, you'll just be doing a bunch 1051 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,040 Speaker 2: of shit when you could be home relaxing. 1052 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,840 Speaker 1: Because I'm a firm. 1053 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,880 Speaker 2: Believer in that your house should be a place of 1054 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,880 Speaker 2: peace and a place of productiveness and support and I 1055 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,720 Speaker 2: don't think it's peaceful, productive, or supportive for one person 1056 00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,880 Speaker 2: to be doing all his fucking work. And you know, 1057 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,720 Speaker 2: but at the same time, I'm not a control person, 1058 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,680 Speaker 2: which works both ways. So if Karen was like, I'm 1059 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,120 Speaker 2: gonna vacuum all day, I'm like, you don't have to 1060 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 2: do that, which is first the most I can do. 1061 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,799 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna yank it out your hands and sit 1062 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,480 Speaker 2: your ass down. But I'm just like, you don't have 1063 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:58,680 Speaker 2: to do that. And nothing like the floor is fine 1064 00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:00,480 Speaker 2: in here, this is it's not even dirty. 1065 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,600 Speaker 4: What are you like, are you having yourself up the wall? 1066 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,560 Speaker 4: So you know, those are things I had to learn 1067 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,720 Speaker 4: how to calm myself down. That's what I tell people. 1068 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,399 Speaker 3: Everybody average is different because you know, it's a lot 1069 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,520 Speaker 3: of times you know where you know, people are like 1070 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,839 Speaker 3: you know, y'all also laid back and y'all get along. Yes, 1071 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,200 Speaker 3: but we are humans too, and you know, everybody has 1072 00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,759 Speaker 3: their quotes and their things, you know, and stuff about 1073 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,720 Speaker 3: their personalities and things like that, you know, because everybody, 1074 00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:25,080 Speaker 3: like I said, everybody has anger. 1075 00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,560 Speaker 4: We just happen not to tap into that, but everybody 1076 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:27,759 Speaker 4: has it. 1077 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,360 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm not quick to anger. No, you know, 1078 00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 1: I'm human. 1079 00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,359 Speaker 2: You know, everyone gets annoyed, everyone has their things, but 1080 00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,920 Speaker 2: I'm not quick to anger. I think I'm a pretty 1081 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,239 Speaker 2: good communicator and so. 1082 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,319 Speaker 1: You know, and then honestly, man like to. 1083 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,399 Speaker 2: Me personally, it's just my feelings, but sometimes I think 1084 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,799 Speaker 2: people should just kind of eat some shit, like not 1085 00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,080 Speaker 2: everything gotta. 1086 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,759 Speaker 1: Be a five alarm issue, like you know. 1087 00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,120 Speaker 2: That was one of the things where my dad, who 1088 00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:58,560 Speaker 2: came from he's a programmer. 1089 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,760 Speaker 1: He so like computer programmer, came from the Air Force. 1090 00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:02,960 Speaker 4: Like. 1091 00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,120 Speaker 2: My dad's very regimented and very specific about how things 1092 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,000 Speaker 2: should be done, you know, and it's one of the 1093 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,320 Speaker 2: reasons that he's you know, so proficient at everything. 1094 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:17,960 Speaker 1: But for me, you know, I'm I'm I'm not like that. 1095 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:18,440 Speaker 1: And so. 1096 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:24,799 Speaker 2: For example, like like say Karen'll unload the dishwasher and 1097 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:28,799 Speaker 2: she'll put some dishes up, and so she'll put there's 1098 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,280 Speaker 2: a certain plate that I keep on the second shelf 1099 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 2: because specifically because that's like a plate that's for when 1100 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 2: I cook, like with meat and you got to dry 1101 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,719 Speaker 2: the meat off. It has like these edges on it. 1102 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,040 Speaker 2: I like to put it up there. Right, Karen will 1103 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,320 Speaker 2: do the dishes, She'll put that plate on the first shelf, 1104 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,200 Speaker 2: right every time. Every time I just go in there, 1105 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:51,839 Speaker 2: I move it to the second shelf, and I don't 1106 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:52,320 Speaker 2: say anything. 1107 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,120 Speaker 1: I'm just literally this. 1108 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 2: Is the first time she's hear I didn't know, all right, 1109 00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,440 Speaker 2: but see you're already kind of This is why I 1110 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,960 Speaker 2: didn't want to take like you're already you already internalizing 1111 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,239 Speaker 2: it as this you did something bad, you did something wrong, 1112 00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:07,080 Speaker 2: and that's not what it is. 1113 00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:08,440 Speaker 1: That's not what it's about it, all right. 1114 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:12,080 Speaker 2: I'm trying to illustrate a point, which is you can 1115 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,480 Speaker 2: choose to take it that way, like, but I told you, 1116 00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,919 Speaker 2: like you're talking to a child, like this is why 1117 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,600 Speaker 2: isn't this on the second sholf. But I'm just thinking 1118 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:24,880 Speaker 2: to myself, Karen short she is doing she's helping me 1119 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,040 Speaker 2: out with the dishes I thought normally after I cooked, 1120 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:29,120 Speaker 2: she's you know, so she's trying to help her ound 1121 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,840 Speaker 2: the house. She put it on the first show. It's fine, 1122 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,040 Speaker 2: I just pick it up and move it to the 1123 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:40,560 Speaker 2: second show. That is, uh, in somebody else's house, That 1124 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:44,200 Speaker 2: little fucking thing is a is a thing, you know 1125 00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:47,160 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like, that's they're going, why the fuck 1126 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 2: are you disrespecting me by not putting this on the 1127 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,680 Speaker 2: second show? Every time I come in here, I gotta 1128 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:54,719 Speaker 2: put it on second. Did not tell you to put 1129 00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:58,000 Speaker 2: it on second? And so that, to me, is about 1130 00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,640 Speaker 2: so many other issues in your life, about your own 1131 00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,880 Speaker 2: lack of control. It's about your giving in to anger. 1132 00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:07,760 Speaker 2: It's about wanting to control someone else. It's about bad 1133 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:12,880 Speaker 2: communication skills. It's about taking something that has no emotional 1134 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,160 Speaker 2: content and adding emotional content and by fueling it with 1135 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,719 Speaker 2: your insecurities. So now it can't just be that she 1136 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:24,440 Speaker 2: didn't put it on the shelf because she forgets a 1137 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,040 Speaker 2: few times, or she's just shortened. She and she didn't 1138 00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:28,520 Speaker 2: want to go get a fucking ladder to put it 1139 00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,720 Speaker 2: on the shelf instead, it becomes like a personal attack 1140 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:36,440 Speaker 2: on you. And I feel like those cracks add up. 1141 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:41,239 Speaker 2: And I think those cracks happen when you're not cognizant 1142 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,960 Speaker 2: and mindful of gratitude, and so gratitude for me in 1143 00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,000 Speaker 2: that moment would be like she pulled, she dried, why 1144 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,520 Speaker 2: stud and drive the dishes and put them up. 1145 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:50,719 Speaker 1: I'll just move. 1146 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,160 Speaker 2: All I had to do was move one dish to 1147 00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,600 Speaker 2: the top shelf or whatever. Or Okay, I spent thirty 1148 00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:01,840 Speaker 2: frustrating seconds looking for where my spoon was, the specific 1149 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 2: spoon I wanted to look. Okay, she probably put it 1150 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,000 Speaker 2: in a different drawer. Okay, it's in this drawer. You 1151 00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,480 Speaker 2: see what I'm saying. So like, it's little shit like that. 1152 00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:13,880 Speaker 2: Okay this she folded the clothes and put them in 1153 00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,920 Speaker 2: this room. I like, I'm in this room. You see 1154 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:21,200 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, So like, imagine that. But all the 1155 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:27,399 Speaker 2: time towards positivity, moving yourself towards positivity. So that's why 1156 00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,960 Speaker 2: I try to practice. And I think when you get 1157 00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:34,760 Speaker 2: to the bigger things like kids, having a wedding, a house, 1158 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,600 Speaker 2: like non traditional shit where you're like I don't. I 1159 00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,240 Speaker 2: want to be happy more than I want to look 1160 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,279 Speaker 2: like other people are fit into what people think I 1161 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:46,520 Speaker 2: should be doing. I feel like that has become the 1162 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,000 Speaker 2: central tenet of our relationship, which is I'd rather be 1163 00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:53,799 Speaker 2: happy than to look like everybody else. 1164 00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,200 Speaker 1: I'd rather be grateful. 1165 00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:03,600 Speaker 2: Than to be miserable and create a perpetual energy machine 1166 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,719 Speaker 2: of misery, because that's what a lot of people are, 1167 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:06,239 Speaker 2: you know. 1168 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:11,040 Speaker 1: And I'd rather we be free, you know what I mean? 1169 00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:14,120 Speaker 2: And and you know I do try to inner relationship 1170 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,440 Speaker 2: with what that is a I am a man, This 1171 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,400 Speaker 2: is a sihead relationship, So I try to enter it 1172 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,080 Speaker 2: with that too, Like I don't want you sitting around 1173 00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:24,960 Speaker 2: thinking about how like how you look all the time 1174 00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:30,000 Speaker 2: and making that about like I'm gonna be unhappy unless 1175 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,080 Speaker 2: you look a certain. 1176 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:32,440 Speaker 1: Way, you know what I mean, Like I don't want 1177 00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:33,080 Speaker 1: to I don't. 1178 00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,400 Speaker 2: Want to be That's a fucked up waste of energy 1179 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,160 Speaker 2: and pressure to put on another human being. 1180 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,800 Speaker 1: It's not saying that. This is not me telling people 1181 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,319 Speaker 1: the way they're doing it is wrong. 1182 00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,239 Speaker 2: I'm only saying what works for me, because I know 1183 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,439 Speaker 2: that is a big tenant for most people. 1184 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,080 Speaker 1: They were you. I married you like this, you got 1185 00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:50,719 Speaker 1: to look like this. 1186 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,319 Speaker 2: I'm not calling you right or wrong. I'm saying I 1187 00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,719 Speaker 2: could never do that. I would not want to do 1188 00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,520 Speaker 2: that to a human being. I wouldn't want that. 1189 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,880 Speaker 1: Done to me, you know. 1190 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,600 Speaker 2: So I think that's that's a lot of the stuff 1191 00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,800 Speaker 2: when it comes to a relationship that in my opinion, 1192 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:06,840 Speaker 2: makes our shit unique. 1193 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,200 Speaker 1: And I don't know how you find that. I don't 1194 00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:09,480 Speaker 1: know that. 1195 00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,360 Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that think that way, and 1196 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:12,960 Speaker 2: there's a lot of people that want to think they 1197 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,160 Speaker 2: think that way, right, but in practice they are not 1198 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:16,239 Speaker 2: able to handle that shit. 1199 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,880 Speaker 4: They don't know that they're not. And uh, it's you know. 1200 00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,439 Speaker 3: And it's one of the things too where I am 1201 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:27,120 Speaker 3: thankful and I am so glad that you know we're 1202 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 3: in each other's lives because I can tell that the 1203 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:40,520 Speaker 3: way some men talk, and I know that we would 1204 00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,319 Speaker 3: have problems, you know, because sometimes because men aren't men 1205 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,680 Speaker 3: aren't taught to check their tones when they're talking to 1206 00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,040 Speaker 3: women or significant orders. 1207 00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,040 Speaker 4: Is just period. Men talk. 1208 00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,160 Speaker 3: I talk, and I talk the way I talk, and 1209 00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:52,840 Speaker 3: that's that's just how I talk, nigga. 1210 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,640 Speaker 4: But when you're talking to another human being, Tone matters. 1211 00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,920 Speaker 4: Tone matters, voice matters. You ain't got to yell at me, bitch. 1212 00:55:57,960 --> 00:55:59,920 Speaker 4: I can hear you. My hearing is excellent. 1213 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:00,719 Speaker 1: You know. 1214 00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:04,440 Speaker 3: It's one of those things where, uh, sometimes I'm in 1215 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,839 Speaker 3: a room and I hear men talk to like their 1216 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:10,560 Speaker 3: wives now and I've been i'vey looking like bitcha you 1217 00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,120 Speaker 3: talking to I was like, okay, he not talking to me, 1218 00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:13,759 Speaker 3: So I'm gone by my business because you ain't talking 1219 00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,399 Speaker 3: to me, you know, like that, like, and I'm going, well, 1220 00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:18,920 Speaker 3: that's something that I know I would not tolerate because 1221 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,080 Speaker 3: I you know, growing up, I had to deal with 1222 00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:27,759 Speaker 3: too much nitpicking and criticizing about the most minute ridiculous shit. 1223 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:31,000 Speaker 3: I would god damn snap, you know. So I know 1224 00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,759 Speaker 3: that I couldn't be in a relationship with any and 1225 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,560 Speaker 3: everybody like like I and I know me, you know, 1226 00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,640 Speaker 3: and you know because I've heard you know, relatives and 1227 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,880 Speaker 3: uncles and shit talking and I can hear like the 1228 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,800 Speaker 3: tone in their voice, you know, because as a woman, 1229 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,040 Speaker 3: you know men and what they mean and what they're saying, 1230 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,319 Speaker 3: what they're saying things like that. So I'm glad I 1231 00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,480 Speaker 3: have you where I don't have to deal with that 1232 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:51,040 Speaker 3: in my everyday to day life. 1233 00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, you know, that was the thing that 1234 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:54,879 Speaker 1: I just. 1235 00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:01,120 Speaker 2: I didn't like in general in life, Like I mean, 1236 00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,640 Speaker 2: even on this show to this day, I still don't. 1237 00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,520 Speaker 1: Like men versus women arguments. 1238 00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,320 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that there aren't things that aren't skewed 1239 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:10,160 Speaker 2: for one or the other. 1240 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:10,440 Speaker 1: I'm not. 1241 00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:12,440 Speaker 2: I don't think it's even at all. I do believe 1242 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:16,040 Speaker 2: it's patriarchal. I do believe there's sexism and misogyny. I 1243 00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:19,200 Speaker 2: do think men have a bunch of unfair advantages through 1244 00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:23,640 Speaker 2: you know, the centuries of running society into the fucking ground. 1245 00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,960 Speaker 1: So you know, I definitely get that. 1246 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,320 Speaker 2: But like, I never wanted to live in a house 1247 00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:33,040 Speaker 2: where because you're a woman and I'm a man, we 1248 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,680 Speaker 2: have to have some sort of animosity towards each other, right, 1249 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:36,560 Speaker 2: we love each. 1250 00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:38,400 Speaker 4: Other and intimate with each other. I don't want to 1251 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,440 Speaker 4: fight the person that I'm intimate with. 1252 00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:41,520 Speaker 1: Right, And I didn't. 1253 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:45,560 Speaker 2: And it's all on some weird team shit, like because 1254 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm team Man, and I'm like, that's unproductive because in 1255 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:52,080 Speaker 2: this house, we have to be Teammorrow. That's the team. 1256 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,880 Speaker 2: You know, we teamed together. We're trying to win so 1257 00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,720 Speaker 2: I think that's the thing. You know, maybe that's why 1258 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,680 Speaker 2: people listen to us and like us. You know, that's 1259 00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:05,720 Speaker 2: why our listenership is, Like if you look at Spotify statistics, 1260 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 2: it's like fifty little over fifty percent women, little under 1261 00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,240 Speaker 2: fifty percent men, you know, a couple percent non binary, 1262 00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,520 Speaker 2: a gender not conformance. So like, I think that's why 1263 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,040 Speaker 2: we attract that type of like. 1264 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:22,680 Speaker 1: That listenership. 1265 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,680 Speaker 2: You know, it's kind of even because because we are 1266 00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,160 Speaker 2: very much like an even show. 1267 00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,120 Speaker 1: And I think maybe. 1268 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,280 Speaker 2: People like listening to us because they can imagine a 1269 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,840 Speaker 2: world where you don't have to be at each other's 1270 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,720 Speaker 2: throats because of how you were you know, either a 1271 00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:43,000 Speaker 2: genitalia or how you were socialized in this world because 1272 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:48,000 Speaker 2: of your genitalia, which is you know, ridiculous. And you know, 1273 00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,840 Speaker 2: I and I, you know, I think there has to 1274 00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:54,200 Speaker 2: be more couples like us. It's not we're not on unicorns, 1275 00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,880 Speaker 2: but it just seemed like most of the media you 1276 00:58:56,920 --> 00:59:00,120 Speaker 2: get is watch me argue with my wife, you know, 1277 00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,720 Speaker 2: like I. 1278 00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,400 Speaker 4: To see the person that I declared my love. 1279 00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,160 Speaker 3: To watch me show my ass and with us fight 1280 00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,560 Speaker 3: in front of your entertainment. 1281 00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:13,960 Speaker 2: A lot of people like Instagram couples are that they're 1282 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,040 Speaker 2: you know, men be doing this, whomen be doing that or. 1283 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,480 Speaker 1: B Hey, what y'all think about this? 1284 00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:22,160 Speaker 2: You come in the house right and your woman is 1285 00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,560 Speaker 2: in there doing you know, just some shit, you know, 1286 00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:28,240 Speaker 2: just and I'm not saying yeah, I'm not saying that 1287 00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,960 Speaker 2: stuff can't be funny or whatever, but it's just naturally 1288 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,640 Speaker 2: not us. It would be us stretching to try to 1289 00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,960 Speaker 2: be like this couple that's at each other's throats or 1290 00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:39,080 Speaker 2: even as a joke, it is, you know, it's just 1291 00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:42,680 Speaker 2: not I don't like it. So I think maybe that's 1292 00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:44,600 Speaker 2: why people like to show and stuff. But it's also 1293 00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:48,040 Speaker 2: to me, I think why we're different from a lot 1294 00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:51,120 Speaker 2: of couples and why we're happy. And we've been together 1295 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,160 Speaker 2: so long, I mean, over half our lives at this point. 1296 00:59:56,520 --> 01:00:00,480 Speaker 2: Let's see, So like sixteen is, yes, like twenty six 1297 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:01,560 Speaker 2: years or something like that. 1298 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,880 Speaker 1: You know, so that's like a good that's a grip, 1299 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,080 Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, that. 1300 01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,520 Speaker 4: Is that is a grip because that's what twenty two 1301 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,040 Speaker 4: twenty years won't it for their marriage? 1302 01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:14,280 Speaker 2: Two thousand and two, Yeah, it'll be twenty years next year. 1303 01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:18,000 Speaker 2: But uh so, yeah, we've been together that long. Another 1304 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:22,000 Speaker 2: thing is I think we're friends, yeah, and I know 1305 01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:26,000 Speaker 2: people are against that. I don't know what exactly happens 1306 01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,120 Speaker 2: throughout life. I mean, I guess I'm kind of glad. 1307 01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,600 Speaker 2: I don't know, but I don't know what happens throughout 1308 01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:37,440 Speaker 2: life that makes people be like friends are so different 1309 01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:41,760 Speaker 2: than lovers and so different than family to them because 1310 01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:45,280 Speaker 2: to me, like I said, I have some hippie type beliefs, 1311 01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:49,200 Speaker 2: but all this love comes from the same well, whether 1312 01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:52,520 Speaker 2: it's your family, your friends, or your lovers. We put 1313 01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:55,520 Speaker 2: these partitions in our minds that I think restrict the 1314 01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:59,080 Speaker 2: relationships in ways that are harmful, and specifically when it 1315 01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,160 Speaker 2: comes to lovers, because obviously you don't want to turn 1316 01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:02,200 Speaker 2: your family into your lover. 1317 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:03,160 Speaker 1: Dum. 1318 01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,240 Speaker 2: Not talking about incest here, although at this point that's 1319 01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:08,880 Speaker 2: the most popular porn on Twitter, on the internet, it is. 1320 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,200 Speaker 2: It really should be at this point. We should have 1321 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,880 Speaker 2: to search out SATs when we go and you look 1322 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,720 Speaker 2: for a porn, you have to be outsats for regular 1323 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,160 Speaker 2: sex like I would like to non related people to 1324 01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:20,600 Speaker 2: have sex. 1325 01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:23,560 Speaker 1: We don't have that. Oh wait, I mean outsats. 1326 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:28,000 Speaker 2: Okay, we got a very small niche market for outsats. Yeah, okay, 1327 01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:33,440 Speaker 2: but yeah, so obviously I'm talking about, like, I think 1328 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:37,440 Speaker 2: one of the reasons so many romantic relationships fail is 1329 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,400 Speaker 2: because we do put these parameters around them. It's like, 1330 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,800 Speaker 2: you can't be my friend, we can't be too friendly. 1331 01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,760 Speaker 2: We gotta kind of not like each other, we kind 1332 01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,480 Speaker 2: of gotta hate each other just a little bit, And 1333 01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,840 Speaker 2: like that's healthy because we watched every fucking rom com 1334 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,640 Speaker 2: and Moonlighters and every like weird ass like opposites of 1335 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,800 Speaker 2: tract bullshit that we get in our lives. And it's like, 1336 01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 2: why why do I need stress to be part of 1337 01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:02,920 Speaker 2: my romantic. 1338 01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:05,400 Speaker 1: Life? 1339 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,280 Speaker 2: I need to, like, I need a little bit of 1340 01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:13,040 Speaker 2: conflict every day to get me going. I never understood it, 1341 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,160 Speaker 2: you know, but that is normal. You know, two people 1342 01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:20,480 Speaker 2: coming together, you're gonna have conflict. But I never understood 1343 01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:25,400 Speaker 2: the romanticizing of conflict, because I feel like that's one 1344 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,480 Speaker 2: of the biggest reasons relationships fail. And I think looking 1345 01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:32,720 Speaker 2: at shit, like the way that you love your child 1346 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:36,640 Speaker 2: when they're one, you will not love that child the 1347 01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:40,360 Speaker 2: exact same when they're forty, And that's because they're a 1348 01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:44,200 Speaker 2: different person when they're forty, agreed, And I think relationships 1349 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:47,720 Speaker 2: are like that too. Like romantically, year one of your 1350 01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,040 Speaker 2: marriage is not the same as year fifteen. 1351 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,240 Speaker 1: You know, year seventeen, you're nineteen. If you're gonna make 1352 01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:53,520 Speaker 1: it to. 1353 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:55,840 Speaker 2: Those years, and the reason you make it or don't 1354 01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:59,040 Speaker 2: make it is whether or not you're willing to accept that, 1355 01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,840 Speaker 2: adjust that and have a different type of love, a 1356 01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,000 Speaker 2: different understanding of it. 1357 01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,640 Speaker 1: And I don't know that people. 1358 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,880 Speaker 2: I think people mostly see that as either like falling 1359 01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,720 Speaker 2: out of love, losing passion, or whatever, which it could be. 1360 01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:16,200 Speaker 2: I mean, I can't speak to other people, but for me, 1361 01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:19,760 Speaker 2: it's like this is a maturity, this is a changing 1362 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:20,120 Speaker 2: This is. 1363 01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,080 Speaker 3: Because I'm not the same person, and I don't expect 1364 01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:26,680 Speaker 3: my spouse to be the same person. You know, because 1365 01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:30,560 Speaker 3: people get married, they and then they have kids. That's 1366 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:34,640 Speaker 3: a growing thing. They're getting older, that's a growing thing. 1367 01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:37,920 Speaker 3: You change jobs, that's a growing thing. Your finances changed, 1368 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,120 Speaker 3: Like all these outside factors come in and out of 1369 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,760 Speaker 3: your life. That causes you to grow, change and evolve. 1370 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,800 Speaker 3: And the thing is, when it comes to relationship, two 1371 01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,840 Speaker 3: things are happening, and you either growing a part of 1372 01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:51,360 Speaker 3: your growing or you're getting closer together. One of these 1373 01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,320 Speaker 3: two are happening at all times, and so you have 1374 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,040 Speaker 3: to be aware of those things, you know, and if 1375 01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:01,160 Speaker 3: you see something actually making a relationship separate, address it 1376 01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:02,760 Speaker 3: and be like, hey, there's something you know. 1377 01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,160 Speaker 4: But that's the that goes back to that communication. 1378 01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:07,160 Speaker 3: Is sometimes we can't fix it, and that's okay if 1379 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:09,160 Speaker 3: you can't fix it, and sometimes you can. 1380 01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:12,240 Speaker 2: And also you're measuring things by what you thought love 1381 01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,080 Speaker 2: was at sixteen and shit, which is mostly just like 1382 01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,720 Speaker 2: do we fuck a lot? Are we always trying to 1383 01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:21,720 Speaker 2: have sex? That's what most people, you know, you talk 1384 01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:24,080 Speaker 2: and people get kind of stuck there where it's like 1385 01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,240 Speaker 2: they fitty. It's like, if you're not trying to fuck 1386 01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:29,360 Speaker 2: a whole lot, do you love each other? 1387 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:32,240 Speaker 4: It's like, no, Nigga, my knees right right. 1388 01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:34,440 Speaker 2: And I think it's like if you're with someone for 1389 01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:37,000 Speaker 2: a long period time, you're gonna be with them when 1390 01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,560 Speaker 2: the libidos not as strong, When when the knees at 1391 01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 2: every time you every time you fuck, it ain't gonna 1392 01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,440 Speaker 2: We're not gonna be out here like a Megan and Cardi. 1393 01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:48,760 Speaker 4: Sometimes it ain't your best performance. 1394 01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think you know a lot of but 1395 01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:54,400 Speaker 2: a lot of our belief system is set on that right, 1396 01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:57,760 Speaker 2: and you know, I think that's where a lot of 1397 01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,280 Speaker 2: people it's what makes you happy, So that that may 1398 01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,520 Speaker 2: be what makes you happy, and that may be the 1399 01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:04,880 Speaker 2: thing that you focus on the most, and maybe that's 1400 01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:07,760 Speaker 2: what you really need. Is like every night, I gotta 1401 01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,320 Speaker 2: get my back blown out, even if other things ain't right. 1402 01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,400 Speaker 2: Once again, it's about knowing yourself and and all that shit, 1403 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,560 Speaker 2: because like I said, I only know my relationship experience. 1404 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:21,280 Speaker 2: So I like other people got other shit going on, man, 1405 01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:23,680 Speaker 2: but I only know mine. 1406 01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,840 Speaker 1: And what would make me happy. 1407 01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,040 Speaker 2: There's I'm sure there's plenty of people on this earth 1408 01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,640 Speaker 2: I would not make happy, and vice versa. So it's 1409 01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:34,880 Speaker 2: not like, you know, I got some type of fix 1410 01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:35,720 Speaker 2: off for everyone. 1411 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,439 Speaker 1: I can just tell you what works over here. 1412 01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:41,600 Speaker 3: But oh and also what I realized too, is that 1413 01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:45,120 Speaker 3: because you don't really have an ego about like what 1414 01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,440 Speaker 3: a woman's job is in the household, what a man's 1415 01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:49,919 Speaker 3: job in the household, because we've always been like, we'll 1416 01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,320 Speaker 3: do this thing together. And so this is, in my 1417 01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:55,479 Speaker 3: personal opinion, this is why it was not a big 1418 01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:59,080 Speaker 3: thing for you to work from home. And you know, 1419 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,280 Speaker 3: you know it is not, you know, a big thing 1420 01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:03,080 Speaker 3: for you to cook and clean and do those things 1421 01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:05,920 Speaker 3: around the house and stuff like that, you know, because 1422 01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:07,560 Speaker 3: for a lot of men, you know, things like that, 1423 01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,040 Speaker 3: you know, depending on the man is like a manhood 1424 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:13,920 Speaker 3: challenged type of thing, because all of a sudden, everything's 1425 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:16,080 Speaker 3: out of whack, you know, when the woman leaves the 1426 01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:18,800 Speaker 3: house and I'm here, you know, all day, even though 1427 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,280 Speaker 3: I'm working from home, you know, but you never. 1428 01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,800 Speaker 4: Had an ego about that. So that transition was was. 1429 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:25,919 Speaker 1: I'm a little bit of an eyeball man. 1430 01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:29,760 Speaker 2: But you know, I think at least for me to 1431 01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:31,960 Speaker 2: be happy, I need to be an eyeball. 1432 01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:33,000 Speaker 1: I need to step into that. 1433 01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,320 Speaker 2: And then, you know, I think the difference between me 1434 01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,040 Speaker 2: and a lot of people that think like me is 1435 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:39,360 Speaker 2: that I actually do stand up for myself and stand 1436 01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,080 Speaker 2: up to other people, which is I think there's a 1437 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:45,160 Speaker 2: lot of dudes, and I'm only speaking for assis had 1438 01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,480 Speaker 2: normal relationships. I can't really speak for anything else, but 1439 01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,760 Speaker 2: there's a lot of dudes who think like me, but 1440 01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:53,040 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, they succumb to the 1441 01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:59,200 Speaker 2: peer pressure of masculinity and patriarchy and will pull up short. 1442 01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:01,080 Speaker 1: So it's like They could be. 1443 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:05,080 Speaker 2: Living a fulfilling, happy life with their wife and or 1444 01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:08,160 Speaker 2: or whatever type of couple them, or whatever they were in, 1445 01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,640 Speaker 2: whatever relationships. They could be doing that, but they choose 1446 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:15,480 Speaker 2: misery because they want to satisfy these men's egos. 1447 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:16,040 Speaker 1: You know. 1448 01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:20,200 Speaker 2: I know when I was in college. I remember during 1449 01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,640 Speaker 2: the spring break and uh, this guy who was a 1450 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,360 Speaker 2: piece of shit, he got his car repossessed. I always 1451 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,720 Speaker 2: used to cheat on his girlfriend all the fucking time 1452 01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:32,240 Speaker 2: with all these high school chicks and shit. And we 1453 01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,960 Speaker 2: were we were in the Dorn for spring break or whatever, 1454 01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:39,640 Speaker 2: and he came over to my room. I don't know, 1455 01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:42,120 Speaker 2: he's playing video games or some shit, but you know, 1456 01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:43,640 Speaker 2: he ended up getting it to be cause, like I said, 1457 01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,240 Speaker 2: I don't talk to a lot of people, but when 1458 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,880 Speaker 2: I talk to people, I normally don't talk to him 1459 01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,280 Speaker 2: about light hearted subjects. We normally have a good talk. 1460 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:53,640 Speaker 2: And this time he was talking about his girl. He's like, yeah, 1461 01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:57,320 Speaker 2: my girl, So it's a He said something about his 1462 01:07:57,480 --> 01:07:59,880 Speaker 2: girl was breaking up with him or not talking to him. 1463 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,040 Speaker 2: They were fighting, and I was like, wait, you got 1464 01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,880 Speaker 2: a girlfriend. It's like yeah, And I was like, and 1465 01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:08,840 Speaker 2: why are you hurt about this? Because you like to 1466 01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:10,720 Speaker 2: hear about the cry because niggas love to talk to 1467 01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,360 Speaker 2: me about relationships. That was a big thing, Like, dude, 1468 01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:16,280 Speaker 2: especially piece of shit dudes. They love to be like, well, 1469 01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:19,519 Speaker 2: Rod's in a good relationship. He seemed like a good dude. 1470 01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:21,360 Speaker 2: Let me go pretend to be a good dude and 1471 01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,200 Speaker 2: talk to him about relationships. I'm like, my dudes, you 1472 01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,280 Speaker 2: don't have to pretend I'm with I see you every 1473 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:28,960 Speaker 2: other day too, Like I know you a piece of 1474 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:29,640 Speaker 2: shit I'm not. 1475 01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:32,080 Speaker 1: And what's funny is I'm not really even judging you 1476 01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:33,080 Speaker 1: because you in. 1477 01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,840 Speaker 2: Your mind, you think I'm sitting over here being like 1478 01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:37,559 Speaker 2: this piece of shit, But really, what I'm thinking is. 1479 01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,280 Speaker 1: This piece of shit like because it ain't my relationship. 1480 01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,120 Speaker 2: Like I don't care, like you should either be a 1481 01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,920 Speaker 2: good person because you want to be or don't. 1482 01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,280 Speaker 1: It's not like we're friends, you know what I mean. 1483 01:08:48,439 --> 01:08:49,519 Speaker 1: So anyway, he. 1484 01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:55,000 Speaker 2: Was going in about how he was he was so 1485 01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:57,559 Speaker 2: hurt over his girl possibly breaking up with him. I 1486 01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:01,559 Speaker 2: was like, yeah, but I mean, and you know, don't 1487 01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,479 Speaker 2: you be cheating on her all the time. I mean, 1488 01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:07,040 Speaker 2: I'm right across the hall from you. You bring girls 1489 01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:10,080 Speaker 2: over there all the time, and he was like, yeah, man, 1490 01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:11,960 Speaker 2: but you know that's different or whatever. 1491 01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:14,920 Speaker 1: You know, I'm a man, blah blah blah. I was like, yeah, 1492 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:15,679 Speaker 1: I don't know, man. 1493 01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,720 Speaker 2: It just seemed like some kind of kind of like 1494 01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,439 Speaker 2: you've been a hypocrite right now. And he got like 1495 01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:24,160 Speaker 2: super mad about me saying that, which I'm like, put 1496 01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:25,240 Speaker 2: you how r. 1497 01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:29,599 Speaker 1: Because his thing was like he was worried some dude 1498 01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:30,320 Speaker 1: was gonna try. 1499 01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,120 Speaker 2: To holler at his chick because all this shit she 1500 01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:35,360 Speaker 2: went to a different school and stuff. And it kind 1501 01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:37,040 Speaker 2: of broke down to this point where he was like, 1502 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:42,400 Speaker 2: I am cheating on my girl because I'm worried that 1503 01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:46,720 Speaker 2: she's gonna cheat on me, or or because you know 1504 01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:49,160 Speaker 2: one day she will cheat on me because I'm not 1505 01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:53,160 Speaker 2: good enough for her something. And then then what was 1506 01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,600 Speaker 2: you know, then what would I look like if I 1507 01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:58,559 Speaker 2: hadn't been cheating on her all this time? And now 1508 01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,160 Speaker 2: I look like the sucker? And so he asked me 1509 01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,559 Speaker 2: how I felt about it, because he knew we were together, 1510 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,200 Speaker 2: and he was like, well, what about you? I mean, 1511 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,639 Speaker 2: if your girl cheat on you, ain't you gonna look 1512 01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:10,000 Speaker 2: like a sucker? You ain't you gonna look like you 1513 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,800 Speaker 2: got played because you ain't out here trying to get 1514 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,240 Speaker 2: these hoses blah blah blah. 1515 01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:15,320 Speaker 1: And I told him like, yes. 1516 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, And he asked me that too. It people used 1517 01:10:18,520 --> 01:10:20,600 Speaker 3: to ask, even to my phone family members. I was like, 1518 01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:22,439 Speaker 3: I deal with it when I get there. That's what 1519 01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:24,559 Speaker 3: I told him. I will deal with it when I 1520 01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:26,599 Speaker 3: get there, Like that is a part of the game, 1521 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:27,240 Speaker 3: my nigga. 1522 01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:32,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I told him to me, that's what 1523 01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,240 Speaker 2: love is. 1524 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:37,600 Speaker 1: Kind of you. If you're not willing. 1525 01:10:37,479 --> 01:10:41,840 Speaker 2: To be a sucker, then you're not really doing it, 1526 01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,200 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like you don't have a 1527 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,960 Speaker 2: safety that Dore's no, it's either your in or you're 1528 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,960 Speaker 2: not in. There's not a you can't really heade your 1529 01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,840 Speaker 2: bets with like I'm fucking several other people because it's 1530 01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,720 Speaker 2: not like if you really care about somebody and you 1531 01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:58,880 Speaker 2: sabotage it by Because my thing is like that's energy 1532 01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:01,439 Speaker 2: you can be spending with your girl, Like that's time 1533 01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:04,040 Speaker 2: you get. Like all this insecurity you have about communication 1534 01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:06,679 Speaker 2: your relationship, how much of that is hours you spend 1535 01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:08,439 Speaker 2: trying to get somebody else to fuck you. 1536 01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:11,200 Speaker 1: That that would be sharing up your relationship. If y'all 1537 01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:12,320 Speaker 1: were spending that time together. 1538 01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:14,879 Speaker 2: You know, even if you weren't sure about your relationship, 1539 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,280 Speaker 2: that's the time you spend together to find out. 1540 01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:19,799 Speaker 1: Oh, you know what, we don't need to be together. 1541 01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:22,479 Speaker 2: So that's stuff that you know, we were talking about. 1542 01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:24,920 Speaker 2: But it really like fucked him up because I was like, 1543 01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:30,120 Speaker 2: that's the whole thing. You just I'm willing to be 1544 01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:33,000 Speaker 2: a fool. And he was like, bo, you know what 1545 01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:35,280 Speaker 2: about revenge? What about how she would do this that 1546 01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:38,040 Speaker 2: or other? And I said, this is the thing, my 1547 01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:43,120 Speaker 2: personal belief system, the way I love this woman, if 1548 01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,400 Speaker 2: she were to do something like that to push me 1549 01:11:46,479 --> 01:11:49,240 Speaker 2: out of her life, she would only be hurting herself 1550 01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:53,719 Speaker 2: because there's not like I only want to help her 1551 01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:55,879 Speaker 2: to do to succeed period. 1552 01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:59,000 Speaker 1: I only want her life to be easier. I only 1553 01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:01,120 Speaker 1: I don't know that other motherfucker's gonna see her the 1554 01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:01,840 Speaker 1: same way I do. 1555 01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:04,840 Speaker 2: Maybe you meet somebody that does and it's like, well, damn, 1556 01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:05,599 Speaker 2: they're doing great. 1557 01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:08,040 Speaker 1: You know who knew she was right? 1558 01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:10,320 Speaker 2: It was a better nigga out there that was that 1559 01:12:10,479 --> 01:12:12,439 Speaker 2: had you know that was that was just as committed. 1560 01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:15,800 Speaker 2: But I'm like, that's all you got in this race. 1561 01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,960 Speaker 2: It's like, if it's a contest, then if it's the 1562 01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:23,320 Speaker 2: contest the love caring the most, I'm gonna be the winner. 1563 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:26,400 Speaker 1: In my mind. And if if. 1564 01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:29,240 Speaker 2: And that's my job and if the only person that 1565 01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:32,760 Speaker 2: can make that not true would be her, And that's 1566 01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:35,800 Speaker 2: and and and that's uh, you know, And whether it's 1567 01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,760 Speaker 2: through actions or just being like I no longer want 1568 01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:40,439 Speaker 2: to do this, which is you know, consent that like 1569 01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:42,439 Speaker 2: that's fine, Like I don't want to love nobody that 1570 01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,880 Speaker 2: don't want me around anyway. But the but I was like, 1571 01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:49,760 Speaker 2: that's the whole thing. Like if you don't understand that, 1572 01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:53,000 Speaker 2: then you don't understand ship. Like you're gonna always be 1573 01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,920 Speaker 2: hedging your best and you're not gonna ever understand that 1574 01:12:55,920 --> 01:12:58,920 Speaker 2: there's no amount of hedging that will make you not 1575 01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:03,040 Speaker 2: emotionally devastated because you're in my room ready to fight 1576 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:07,080 Speaker 2: me over the fact that this girl with who you're 1577 01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:09,280 Speaker 2: all cheating on, you're still fucked up over. 1578 01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:11,960 Speaker 1: So you so like, what did all that cheat can 1579 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:15,160 Speaker 1: get you? You still fucked up? You know? 1580 01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:19,000 Speaker 2: And I think there's a braveness and a sincerity that 1581 01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:19,680 Speaker 2: you have to have. 1582 01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:21,920 Speaker 4: And that is the part that. 1583 01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:26,040 Speaker 2: I've never been afraid to stand on because that's true vulnerability. 1584 01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:28,000 Speaker 2: And you know there's a niggas that look at that. 1585 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:30,519 Speaker 2: That's sure, that's niggas's hearing this right now. Just niggas 1586 01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:33,559 Speaker 2: off or whatever. But to me, that's the hardest you 1587 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,639 Speaker 2: can be. It's like, I really don't give a fuck 1588 01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:39,160 Speaker 2: what y'all think this is. I love this person. 1589 01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:41,040 Speaker 4: I don't care if if. 1590 01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:43,920 Speaker 1: That made me the odd ball, if I'm weird because 1591 01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:44,360 Speaker 1: we go. 1592 01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:47,880 Speaker 2: To on a bachelor party trip and I'm like, yeah, 1593 01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:49,400 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to fuck no strippers. 1594 01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:50,040 Speaker 1: I'm good. 1595 01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:53,439 Speaker 2: I let me know when y'all want to go to 1596 01:13:53,479 --> 01:13:56,439 Speaker 2: the bar and watch the games or whatever, I'll just 1597 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:57,160 Speaker 2: be that dude. 1598 01:13:57,360 --> 01:13:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm completely fine with that. 1599 01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:02,160 Speaker 2: And and that's the thing, is like I feel strong 1600 01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:02,960 Speaker 2: because I know me. 1601 01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:06,519 Speaker 1: I don't need to bend to you. I don't need 1602 01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:12,600 Speaker 1: to tie my tie my ego to your ego in 1603 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:13,800 Speaker 1: order to feel like a man. 1604 01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:17,200 Speaker 2: And I think it's weird because it's had the opposite 1605 01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:20,240 Speaker 2: effect where a lot of dudes end up being attracted 1606 01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:23,719 Speaker 2: not obviously sexually, but their energy end up being attracted 1607 01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:25,679 Speaker 2: to my energy because I think they do like something 1608 01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:26,799 Speaker 2: about the fact that I'm. 1609 01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:31,160 Speaker 1: Like, no, no, I'm okay with being a corny in 1610 01:14:31,280 --> 01:14:33,879 Speaker 1: love square nigga. I'm fine with that, yes. 1611 01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:35,600 Speaker 3: And people have challenged you that I remember when you 1612 01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:38,880 Speaker 3: used to go play for the basketball team for your job. 1613 01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:41,639 Speaker 3: Them niggas up there would bring like they other women 1614 01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:43,479 Speaker 3: and shit like that up there all the time. 1615 01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:45,879 Speaker 1: And I was younger than them, and they really thought. 1616 01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:47,479 Speaker 4: To me. 1617 01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:49,960 Speaker 1: I was thinking, man, you too old. 1618 01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:54,160 Speaker 2: You got kids, you got a wife, and you're you're 1619 01:14:54,160 --> 01:15:00,400 Speaker 2: playing men's pick up, men's league, work basketball, and you 1620 01:15:01,479 --> 01:15:05,560 Speaker 2: to impress other dudes, you're bringing side chicks to this gym. 1621 01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:08,360 Speaker 1: Which is hella risky, right, but also like. 1622 01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:12,880 Speaker 2: Kind of sad, you know what I mean, Like, because 1623 01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:15,479 Speaker 2: I'm looking at you, like, man, look at this dude. Man, 1624 01:15:15,520 --> 01:15:18,320 Speaker 2: he got a family, he got a good job. These 1625 01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:21,000 Speaker 2: are mostly black dudes. I'm like, I'm working at this company, 1626 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,439 Speaker 2: so I'm like, oh, there's a future here. 1627 01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:24,000 Speaker 1: Look at these They got. 1628 01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:27,600 Speaker 2: Homes, they got wives, they got kids. And it's like 1629 01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:30,320 Speaker 2: they thought I would be impressed because I was twenty two, 1630 01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:30,880 Speaker 2: twenty one. 1631 01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,200 Speaker 1: They were like, but look at this side chick. Ain't 1632 01:15:33,240 --> 01:15:37,840 Speaker 1: she bad? And I'm like, nah, it's kind of fucked up. No. 1633 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,760 Speaker 2: One time that one of their wives showed up unannounced, 1634 01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:43,519 Speaker 2: I think, with their kids, and they came over to 1635 01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:45,000 Speaker 2: me and was like, man, you gotta act like this 1636 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,439 Speaker 2: girl with you. And I was like, I'm not doing 1637 01:15:47,479 --> 01:15:49,800 Speaker 2: that shit. And I was like, oh, come on, brother, 1638 01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:51,320 Speaker 2: you ain't gonna do this for me. I'm like, we 1639 01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:54,120 Speaker 2: don't know each other. We played basketball once a week. 1640 01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:58,160 Speaker 2: We don't know each other. Like that number one, number 1641 01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:01,519 Speaker 2: two falling off one of your cheating ass homeboys. Y'all 1642 01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,840 Speaker 2: should be in this together a lot the fuck I 1643 01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:05,200 Speaker 2: gotta be involved in this shit. 1644 01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:06,200 Speaker 1: So it was just so. 1645 01:16:07,120 --> 01:16:09,320 Speaker 2: But that but the fact that they thought, on a 1646 01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:12,280 Speaker 2: second notice, with no preparation, they could just tell me 1647 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:16,160 Speaker 2: boom and I was supposed to just lie down. That's 1648 01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:18,320 Speaker 2: that peer pressure that a lot of men fold to 1649 01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:20,720 Speaker 2: and they you know, dap up and it's. 1650 01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:23,200 Speaker 1: Are we I helped do your family dirty? We cool 1651 01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:26,320 Speaker 1: as shit? Like I just never got into it. 1652 01:16:26,400 --> 01:16:29,439 Speaker 2: So I always thought that was what That's what was corny, 1653 01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:32,120 Speaker 2: you know, that's what was whack, cause I know that 1654 01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:35,760 Speaker 2: that's not really making you happy, you know, riding a motorcycle, 1655 01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,840 Speaker 2: having a mad life prices with a fucking twenty six 1656 01:16:37,880 --> 01:16:41,479 Speaker 2: year old girl who's a stripper that proppeduct that knows 1657 01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:45,679 Speaker 2: you're married, and and and in the same fucking town 1658 01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:48,400 Speaker 2: that you live in, is doing all this shit. And 1659 01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:50,519 Speaker 2: I mean, you can't be that special to her either, 1660 01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:53,080 Speaker 2: Like it's just it's just to me that shit was 1661 01:16:53,120 --> 01:16:53,879 Speaker 2: what was corny? 1662 01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:54,240 Speaker 4: You know? 1663 01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:58,679 Speaker 2: So I think that was you know, so all that 1664 01:16:58,800 --> 01:17:01,679 Speaker 2: you know, you're asking, like some of challenges and loving 1665 01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:04,160 Speaker 2: and accepting each other. I think those are the things 1666 01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:06,280 Speaker 2: that we come to the table with, or at least 1667 01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:07,200 Speaker 2: I come to the table with. 1668 01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:09,040 Speaker 1: And so a. 1669 01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:11,360 Speaker 2: Lot of this shit for me hasn't been as difficult 1670 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:14,200 Speaker 2: as I think it would have been or is for 1671 01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:16,920 Speaker 2: people that especially if y'all don't get married to you're 1672 01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:20,519 Speaker 2: like older people always shit on young marriage about being 1673 01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:23,120 Speaker 2: naive and being played and making mistakes and shit, but 1674 01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:26,200 Speaker 2: they never talk about the cynicism you have when you're older, 1675 01:17:26,360 --> 01:17:28,479 Speaker 2: like you're wiser, but now you know all the shit 1676 01:17:28,479 --> 01:17:31,880 Speaker 2: that can go wrong. So a lot of time success 1677 01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:36,439 Speaker 2: happens because we don't know. Unfortunately, you know, like I said, 1678 01:17:36,479 --> 01:17:38,560 Speaker 2: you gotta get lucky. Unfortunately, a lot of this is 1679 01:17:38,640 --> 01:17:42,559 Speaker 2: just luck because it's like I didn't know saying this 1680 01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:45,880 Speaker 2: was a big deal, but I was like, one, two, three, 1681 01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:46,760 Speaker 2: you don't want to have no kids? 1682 01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:47,120 Speaker 4: Me neither? 1683 01:17:47,160 --> 01:17:51,760 Speaker 2: All okay, but but you know, at fucking thirty three 1684 01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:54,519 Speaker 2: or some shit, that's a big fucking deals. Like we 1685 01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:56,360 Speaker 2: just on date two and I gotta talk to you 1686 01:17:56,479 --> 01:17:58,120 Speaker 2: about do you want to have kids or not? 1687 01:17:58,240 --> 01:17:59,439 Speaker 1: And is that a deal breaking? 1688 01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:01,479 Speaker 2: Hey, you need to make a decision because I only 1689 01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:04,400 Speaker 2: got this many more fertile years. And it's like all 1690 01:18:04,439 --> 01:18:08,240 Speaker 2: this extra pressure that because you know how life. 1691 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:10,280 Speaker 1: Can go wrong, right, we didn't know. 1692 01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:15,240 Speaker 3: We went in blind and something else. And there's nothing 1693 01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:19,080 Speaker 3: wrong with having a checklist of things that you you 1694 01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:22,040 Speaker 3: know desire from your mate. But a lot of times 1695 01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:26,680 Speaker 3: people have this these long checklists over things that they 1696 01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:28,360 Speaker 3: might think they want at that time. But as you 1697 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,519 Speaker 3: get older that the list changes and you changes, and 1698 01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:34,439 Speaker 3: you change and you evolve. And on some when I 1699 01:18:34,520 --> 01:18:36,960 Speaker 3: realized too, when it comes to relationship, everybody always talk 1700 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,800 Speaker 3: about what they want from the other person, but no 1701 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:41,280 Speaker 3: where everybody ever talks about what they bring to the table. 1702 01:18:41,560 --> 01:18:44,439 Speaker 2: Right, And the other thing for me too is like, 1703 01:18:44,439 --> 01:18:47,040 Speaker 2: like you said, there's checklist of shit that I think 1704 01:18:47,200 --> 01:18:50,320 Speaker 2: people think mattered. That to me, I think don't matter, correct, 1705 01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:52,960 Speaker 2: But only you know yourself. But if you start asking 1706 01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:56,360 Speaker 2: people what matters and going down this list, I might 1707 01:18:56,880 --> 01:18:59,240 Speaker 2: I feel, especially when people talk about what's a non 1708 01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:01,800 Speaker 2: starter for folk like you ain't this type of person, 1709 01:19:01,880 --> 01:19:03,760 Speaker 2: can't never find a person. I'm always like, it's a 1710 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:07,200 Speaker 2: person out there that's exactly exactly. 1711 01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:07,559 Speaker 1: What you just said. 1712 01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:10,720 Speaker 3: You can't be gette married, boot up, got kids and 1713 01:19:10,840 --> 01:19:11,840 Speaker 3: living the best life. 1714 01:19:11,920 --> 01:19:15,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, so nobody knows what the fuck they're talking about. 1715 01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:16,920 Speaker 2: So everything we just said, throw it out the window 1716 01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:17,880 Speaker 2: because we don't know either. 1717 01:19:18,600 --> 01:19:21,320 Speaker 1: All right. That was hopefully this will be. 1718 01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:26,360 Speaker 2: The definitive relationship episode apparently, so okay, a lot to say. 1719 01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:28,800 Speaker 2: I didn't think it would take this long, but it 1720 01:19:28,960 --> 01:19:31,439 Speaker 2: obviously did. We talked about how we met, We talked 1721 01:19:31,439 --> 01:19:37,559 Speaker 2: about UH love. I don't know what else we you know, 1722 01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:41,360 Speaker 2: I don't know if we missed anything or that was 1723 01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:42,200 Speaker 2: anything that. 1724 01:19:42,240 --> 01:19:47,680 Speaker 1: UH talked about the show think. Yeah, So I don't know. 1725 01:19:48,320 --> 01:19:50,320 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to put this in the in the 1726 01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:55,160 Speaker 2: in the title so that like the relationship episode, so that. 1727 01:19:55,880 --> 01:19:58,160 Speaker 4: People all come in thinking they're gonna have a regulass show, 1728 01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:00,599 Speaker 4: but I did. Niggas just talked about themselves but two hours. 1729 01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:03,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, so next time we don't have to, like, if 1730 01:20:03,479 --> 01:20:05,400 Speaker 2: someone ever asks us to do it one of these again, 1731 01:20:05,400 --> 01:20:07,200 Speaker 2: because we get this every once in a while. 1732 01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:10,400 Speaker 1: We could just be like, this is what it was, Okay. 1733 01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,400 Speaker 2: If we didn't talk about that ship in this rambling 1734 01:20:13,439 --> 01:20:14,880 Speaker 2: hour and a half, I don't know what the fuck 1735 01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:17,280 Speaker 2: else we were supposed to come up with. You know, 1736 01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:21,240 Speaker 2: you tried, you know, it's this is difficult. 1737 01:20:21,640 --> 01:20:22,519 Speaker 4: It is just. 1738 01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:25,720 Speaker 3: Living in life and growing and learning. It is not 1739 01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:29,920 Speaker 3: the easiest, the easiest thing to deal with. 1740 01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:33,439 Speaker 2: And we're still living, so I mean instill growing, like 1741 01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:36,439 Speaker 2: literally tomorrow is a new day, the day after that. 1742 01:20:36,520 --> 01:20:39,520 Speaker 2: And I think one thing I always throw into these conversations. 1743 01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:43,400 Speaker 2: I think it is super important because people internalize the 1744 01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:47,960 Speaker 2: shit a lot. But divorce is not failure. Breaking up 1745 01:20:48,040 --> 01:20:52,559 Speaker 2: is not failure. You're not a bad person. I'm not 1746 01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:55,560 Speaker 2: a person that's like, well I'm I'm in this happy relationship. 1747 01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:57,439 Speaker 1: You couldn't do it, nigga. 1748 01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:00,960 Speaker 2: Sometimes the happiest day of people is like the day 1749 01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,840 Speaker 2: you got away from that motherfucker day and you. 1750 01:21:03,840 --> 01:21:04,839 Speaker 4: Signed the papers. 1751 01:21:04,840 --> 01:21:08,439 Speaker 3: You was like nigga, I'm free and so and so. 1752 01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:12,400 Speaker 3: The thing is, when you get divorced, it is not 1753 01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:15,080 Speaker 3: a failure. It is not it is not a bad 1754 01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:16,599 Speaker 3: judgment of your character. 1755 01:21:16,960 --> 01:21:19,960 Speaker 4: It does not defined you. It is not the end. 1756 01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:24,040 Speaker 3: In fact, it is a new beginning to start over again. 1757 01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:26,720 Speaker 3: And then a lot of times in life then that's 1758 01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:29,599 Speaker 3: the thing. Parents teach children to start over again. Parents 1759 01:21:29,640 --> 01:21:31,120 Speaker 3: when you when you, when you're a parent, you have 1760 01:21:31,200 --> 01:21:33,360 Speaker 3: a child and you teach them. You know, they make 1761 01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:36,280 Speaker 3: f the f on the on the report card, or 1762 01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:38,360 Speaker 3: they fuck up what you tell them. It's okay, it's 1763 01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:40,920 Speaker 3: all right, you can start over again, brush it off, 1764 01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,559 Speaker 3: keep on going. But as adults, you know, things happen 1765 01:21:43,640 --> 01:21:45,640 Speaker 3: in our lives and we don't. We don't have that 1766 01:21:45,680 --> 01:21:49,200 Speaker 3: same man Telby as that child of thinking, oh. 1767 01:21:48,880 --> 01:21:52,320 Speaker 4: It's all right, it's okay. I might hurt, I might cry, 1768 01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:52,960 Speaker 4: I might. 1769 01:21:52,840 --> 01:21:55,920 Speaker 3: Go through this emotional roller coaster, but I can start 1770 01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:58,960 Speaker 3: over again if I open up my eyes tomorrow. 1771 01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:03,160 Speaker 4: It is a chain to do it right again, and 1772 01:22:03,240 --> 01:22:05,800 Speaker 4: that is okay, it is all right. 1773 01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:08,880 Speaker 3: And I think a lot of people when they hear 1774 01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:11,400 Speaker 3: us talk, some people feel like it's a former jentleman 1775 01:22:11,479 --> 01:22:13,960 Speaker 3: it's not. I've had good close friends that have got 1776 01:22:14,040 --> 01:22:16,720 Speaker 3: divorced and I've talked to them while they were going 1777 01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:19,559 Speaker 3: through the process of talking about getting divorced and all 1778 01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:21,680 Speaker 3: that stuff. And now at one period of time that 1779 01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:24,040 Speaker 3: I tell them to get a divorce. And one of 1780 01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:26,240 Speaker 3: my good friends, she was like, the whole time I was, 1781 01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:28,080 Speaker 3: you know, going through my marriage and talking about but she. 1782 01:22:28,040 --> 01:22:29,759 Speaker 4: Said, you never told me to leave my husband. 1783 01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:31,600 Speaker 3: I said no, because I don't have to live with 1784 01:22:31,640 --> 01:22:34,400 Speaker 3: the consequences of staying, and I don't have to live with. 1785 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:37,439 Speaker 4: The consequences of leaving. I am here to support you. 1786 01:22:38,080 --> 01:22:41,840 Speaker 2: And so whatever your decision is, it is okay, and 1787 01:22:41,880 --> 01:22:42,599 Speaker 2: it is all right. 1788 01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:43,960 Speaker 4: You know what you can deal with. 1789 01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:46,600 Speaker 2: You know what you can't deal with, you know you 1790 01:22:47,120 --> 01:22:49,280 Speaker 2: and so you do whatever action is best for you. 1791 01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:51,599 Speaker 3: And if that means the relationship got that die, bitch, 1792 01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:52,839 Speaker 3: let it die and move. 1793 01:22:52,680 --> 01:22:56,559 Speaker 2: On and all this stuff that we talk about love 1794 01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,639 Speaker 2: and stuff. It only works with the other person meeting 1795 01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:03,320 Speaker 2: you halfway there if they or you know, sometimes you 1796 01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,160 Speaker 2: gotta meet them a little over halfway. But you know, 1797 01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:07,360 Speaker 2: if like if there's some kind of effort on the 1798 01:23:07,400 --> 01:23:10,360 Speaker 2: other side of this ship, like you know, I think 1799 01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:16,519 Speaker 2: the people delight in the milestones this many years together, 1800 01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:18,880 Speaker 2: We had a kid, we got a house, we did this, 1801 01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:21,360 Speaker 2: but there's a lot, especially as we get older, there's 1802 01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:21,880 Speaker 2: a lot of. 1803 01:23:23,479 --> 01:23:26,640 Speaker 1: Other milestones that aren't happy. You know. 1804 01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:31,200 Speaker 2: There there's there's people dying, get there's there's there's the 1805 01:23:31,280 --> 01:23:33,800 Speaker 2: sickness and health there you know, there's this other ship 1806 01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:35,120 Speaker 2: that people don't delight in. 1807 01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,840 Speaker 1: But like, honestly, man, that's where you. 1808 01:23:37,800 --> 01:23:41,800 Speaker 2: Gotta be a gamer. Like that's where you gotta want it. 1809 01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:44,280 Speaker 2: Like that's the grit of the ship. That's the ship 1810 01:23:44,360 --> 01:23:48,920 Speaker 2: of it, you know, like and that and and like 1811 01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:52,040 Speaker 2: it's like Kobe when he got his nose broken the 1812 01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:55,200 Speaker 2: All Star Game by Dwayne Wade, and Dwayne Wade went 1813 01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:57,960 Speaker 2: over to apologize and Dwayne Wade turned to I mean, 1814 01:23:57,960 --> 01:24:00,880 Speaker 2: and Kobe turned to Dwayne Wade and said, I love it. 1815 01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:04,479 Speaker 2: And that's how you gotta kind of be about this ship. 1816 01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:08,680 Speaker 2: I love Like you gotta love that too. It's like 1817 01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:11,680 Speaker 2: because if if your whole thing is like I was 1818 01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:14,360 Speaker 2: with you but then I didn't know you were gonna 1819 01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:15,200 Speaker 2: lose your job. 1820 01:24:16,720 --> 01:24:17,320 Speaker 4: Get canceled. 1821 01:24:17,439 --> 01:24:20,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like then then then then you're right it ain't 1822 01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:21,880 Speaker 1: for you. It ain't gonna work. 1823 01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:25,840 Speaker 2: You know, you gotta you gotta love the ship, You 1824 01:24:25,880 --> 01:24:29,479 Speaker 2: gotta you gotta, you gotta be like you lost your job. 1825 01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:32,400 Speaker 1: Okay, baby, what do we? How are we getting through 1826 01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:35,960 Speaker 1: this together? How do I make my exit? How's my escape? 1827 01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:36,080 Speaker 3: We? 1828 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,800 Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about like abuse, I'm not talking 1829 01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,760 Speaker 2: about you know, some some criminality types it. But just 1830 01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:47,640 Speaker 2: like that love, you gotta have it, especially meeting with 1831 01:24:47,920 --> 01:24:51,120 Speaker 2: the effort towards each other, because a lot of times 1832 01:24:51,120 --> 01:24:53,120 Speaker 2: you're not gonna be equally into things. 1833 01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:55,000 Speaker 1: You're not gonna make the same amount of money, you're not. 1834 01:24:54,920 --> 01:24:59,000 Speaker 2: Gonna have the the same physical attributes and all the ship, 1835 01:24:59,040 --> 01:25:01,679 Speaker 2: but you can meet somebody with the same amount of effort, 1836 01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:03,519 Speaker 2: like you putting in work. 1837 01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:09,479 Speaker 1: I'm putting in work. Maybe I can't you know, maybe I. 1838 01:25:09,439 --> 01:25:14,599 Speaker 2: Can't fix a fix a card, but I can get 1839 01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:16,280 Speaker 2: a second job that will pay for the money to 1840 01:25:16,280 --> 01:25:20,040 Speaker 2: help fix your card. Like maybe I can't, you know, 1841 01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:23,960 Speaker 2: the the you know, there were times where it was like, Okay, 1842 01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:25,599 Speaker 2: one of us got to pick up a second job. 1843 01:25:25,800 --> 01:25:27,599 Speaker 1: What are we How are we gonna do that? How 1844 01:25:27,640 --> 01:25:31,880 Speaker 1: are we gonna make that work? You know? So it's 1845 01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:33,600 Speaker 1: just stuff like that. You kind of have to be 1846 01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:37,840 Speaker 1: here for each other. And I think you know that 1847 01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:40,040 Speaker 1: the ship of it is part of it. 1848 01:25:40,080 --> 01:25:42,519 Speaker 2: And if you choose to not want to have that, 1849 01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:45,160 Speaker 2: like you can be like, listen, I'd rather be single. 1850 01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:47,599 Speaker 2: En them, I have to deal with somebody else is down. 1851 01:25:48,320 --> 01:25:50,800 Speaker 2: You can do that too, And there's no wrong way 1852 01:25:50,840 --> 01:25:53,160 Speaker 2: to handle that ship, you know, ain't. 1853 01:25:53,320 --> 01:25:58,080 Speaker 3: And you know what I've realized too, is that, like 1854 01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:00,920 Speaker 3: you said, you gotta take the good the bad. And 1855 01:26:00,960 --> 01:26:04,559 Speaker 3: it's one of those things where people see the finished product, 1856 01:26:04,600 --> 01:26:06,240 Speaker 3: you know, they see the Molesons. Well, y'all be married 1857 01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:10,080 Speaker 3: ten years, twenty years, thirty five years, But like you say, it's. 1858 01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:12,160 Speaker 4: A lot of ups and downs in betweens that go 1859 01:26:12,240 --> 01:26:12,599 Speaker 4: in there. 1860 01:26:12,640 --> 01:26:15,559 Speaker 2: Like you said, it's it's bad days in there too, 1861 01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:18,519 Speaker 2: And you know that's just And honestly, people look at 1862 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:22,400 Speaker 2: a lot of that shit like the milestone is the point, right, 1863 01:26:22,479 --> 01:26:24,799 Speaker 2: And I'm like, I wouldn't want to have a. 1864 01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:26,519 Speaker 1: Thirty five year raggedy marriage. 1865 01:26:26,720 --> 01:26:30,640 Speaker 2: Come like that's like quality time is the point to me? 1866 01:26:30,800 --> 01:26:33,760 Speaker 1: Like this thing was is good, Like if it was 1867 01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,160 Speaker 1: fucked up, I. 1868 01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:38,080 Speaker 2: Wouldn't take any pride in being like, look how long 1869 01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:39,439 Speaker 2: I stayed in this fucked up shit? 1870 01:26:39,680 --> 01:26:42,400 Speaker 1: Right, Like, nah, I want to be happy. 1871 01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:45,559 Speaker 2: If you see me and we're together, assume I'm being 1872 01:26:45,640 --> 01:26:48,800 Speaker 2: I'm happy, because why the fuck would I ever want 1873 01:26:48,840 --> 01:26:51,479 Speaker 2: to be somewhere unhappy with someone that makes me unhappy? 1874 01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:52,200 Speaker 4: Right? 1875 01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:55,519 Speaker 3: And and you know you do have people that are 1876 01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:57,720 Speaker 3: And I had to realize this of a time. 1877 01:26:57,800 --> 01:26:59,200 Speaker 4: You have a lot of people get married for. 1878 01:26:59,479 --> 01:27:03,360 Speaker 3: Marriage safe just and even if they get divorced, they like, well, 1879 01:27:03,400 --> 01:27:05,000 Speaker 3: I've been married, bitches, I got a. 1880 01:27:04,960 --> 01:27:08,880 Speaker 4: Man, Okay, a raggedy ass piece of nigga word. 1881 01:27:09,240 --> 01:27:11,320 Speaker 1: That's why y'all single like that, right. 1882 01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:14,519 Speaker 3: But but the thing is, I'd rather have somebody that 1883 01:27:14,520 --> 01:27:16,720 Speaker 3: that that we could actually do and grow in all 1884 01:27:16,760 --> 01:27:19,000 Speaker 3: this stuff than to have a man for the sake 1885 01:27:19,040 --> 01:27:20,360 Speaker 3: of saying that I have. 1886 01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:23,160 Speaker 4: One that to me, that that that don't do nothing 1887 01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:23,400 Speaker 4: for me. 1888 01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:26,920 Speaker 2: And we're talking various sis had had a normal yes, 1889 01:27:27,080 --> 01:27:29,320 Speaker 2: but a lot of this ship applies to everything, like 1890 01:27:29,760 --> 01:27:34,000 Speaker 2: if you want to be in a fucking uh you know, quantumpleship, 1891 01:27:34,080 --> 01:27:35,280 Speaker 2: if you want to if you're Polly. 1892 01:27:35,760 --> 01:27:37,400 Speaker 1: The principles underlying this, the. 1893 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:41,280 Speaker 2: Communication, the effort, the time, that kind of shit matters 1894 01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:45,519 Speaker 2: because even in those relationships, they're still parameters, there's still happiness, 1895 01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:49,240 Speaker 2: they're still human beings that are involved in those relationships. 1896 01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:52,679 Speaker 2: So they're you know this even friendships. This doesn't even 1897 01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:54,360 Speaker 2: have to be romantic, like I saw. I've view a 1898 01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:57,519 Speaker 2: lot of this ship the same too. You know, I'm 1899 01:27:57,560 --> 01:28:01,639 Speaker 2: not romantically in love with my friends, but I love 1900 01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:03,120 Speaker 2: my friends, you. 1901 01:28:03,080 --> 01:28:03,599 Speaker 1: Know what I mean. 1902 01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:05,680 Speaker 2: All of them got little heart emojis next to their 1903 01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:09,160 Speaker 2: names in my uh, in my h on my phone 1904 01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:10,040 Speaker 2: because I love them. 1905 01:28:10,120 --> 01:28:11,360 Speaker 4: Yes, sir, you know what I mean. 1906 01:28:12,040 --> 01:28:13,160 Speaker 1: And that's men and women. 1907 01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:17,919 Speaker 2: That's not I think, But like that shit matters because 1908 01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:23,000 Speaker 2: it's a healthy relationship, has the same principles, and then 1909 01:28:23,040 --> 01:28:26,080 Speaker 2: it's what you build around it, whether it be romantic or. 1910 01:28:27,640 --> 01:28:28,559 Speaker 1: Or whatever. You know. 1911 01:28:28,760 --> 01:28:31,000 Speaker 2: So I think a lot of stuff we said applies 1912 01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:34,559 Speaker 2: to that. I think, so don't I hopefully people. 1913 01:28:34,320 --> 01:28:36,200 Speaker 1: Don't just take this ass. Go find a man, go 1914 01:28:36,280 --> 01:28:38,479 Speaker 1: find a woman like nah, man. 1915 01:28:38,600 --> 01:28:42,160 Speaker 2: This shit applies to all that stuff, and and maybe 1916 01:28:42,200 --> 01:28:44,799 Speaker 2: you find yourself not able to do that for everyone, 1917 01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:47,200 Speaker 2: at each other or whatever. This is why I don't 1918 01:28:47,240 --> 01:28:50,639 Speaker 2: have that many friends, you know what I mean, because 1919 01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:52,880 Speaker 2: most of my friends, I feel this way about too. 1920 01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:55,240 Speaker 2: It like, I mean you halfway on your effort. I'm 1921 01:28:55,720 --> 01:28:57,840 Speaker 2: you know, there's no right or wrong way to do this. 1922 01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:00,000 Speaker 2: If you don't want to talk, we don't have to talk. 1923 01:29:00,160 --> 01:29:01,559 Speaker 2: If you want to talk all the time, we could 1924 01:29:01,560 --> 01:29:03,800 Speaker 2: talk all the time. Like it's that type of thing. 1925 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:08,720 Speaker 2: So hopefully people can can enjoy that too. So all right, man, 1926 01:29:09,960 --> 01:29:12,519 Speaker 2: I guess there's no real show today. There's news and shit. 1927 01:29:12,720 --> 01:29:16,719 Speaker 2: But we got Georgia runoffs. Obviously, that's big. 1928 01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:17,599 Speaker 4: Come on through. 1929 01:29:17,680 --> 01:29:21,680 Speaker 3: I gave the Stacy Abram and I gave to the 1930 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:26,479 Speaker 3: other two candidates yes or not yes yesterday, and I'm like, 1931 01:29:26,640 --> 01:29:30,120 Speaker 3: I am rooting for you, Georgia. I'm I'm taking this serious. 1932 01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,960 Speaker 3: I'm putting my money where my mouth is because it's 1933 01:29:31,960 --> 01:29:35,600 Speaker 3: just one of those things where I want to be 1934 01:29:35,640 --> 01:29:37,439 Speaker 3: able to do this fear fight, that's what it is, 1935 01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:42,360 Speaker 3: fair fighting. I want to be able. 1936 01:29:42,439 --> 01:29:43,880 Speaker 4: To get some shit done. 1937 01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,479 Speaker 3: I want to be able to a lot of the 1938 01:29:46,560 --> 01:29:48,560 Speaker 3: things that will make this country better, a lot of 1939 01:29:48,560 --> 01:29:51,360 Speaker 3: the things that will turn the economy around, a lot 1940 01:29:51,360 --> 01:29:54,040 Speaker 3: of the things that would help jobs, a lot of 1941 01:29:54,080 --> 01:29:57,960 Speaker 3: these things. It's weighing on these two seats like it 1942 01:29:58,240 --> 01:29:59,240 Speaker 3: really really is. 1943 01:30:00,479 --> 01:30:03,599 Speaker 2: Yep, So you got the runoffs going. I'm sure they're 1944 01:30:03,640 --> 01:30:07,040 Speaker 2: calculating that. I wouldn't be surprised if there's gonna be 1945 01:30:07,080 --> 01:30:08,439 Speaker 2: a contingent of mailing ballats. 1946 01:30:08,479 --> 01:30:10,600 Speaker 1: That means that it's going to take a while to calculate. 1947 01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:13,800 Speaker 4: So getting polls probably just closed. Getting ready too close 1948 01:30:13,840 --> 01:30:14,960 Speaker 4: with seven. 1949 01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:16,559 Speaker 1: I don't know if they're as close as it was 1950 01:30:16,600 --> 01:30:17,120 Speaker 1: the first time. 1951 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:19,559 Speaker 2: I don't know if they'll be able to simply just 1952 01:30:19,600 --> 01:30:21,840 Speaker 2: declare a winter tonight or not. And also I mean 1953 01:30:21,880 --> 01:30:24,000 Speaker 2: I hope they can, but I don't know. And then 1954 01:30:24,040 --> 01:30:27,320 Speaker 2: of course, uh, we may get recounts again, because you know, 1955 01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:30,880 Speaker 2: Georgia has those recounts that get triggered if it's too close. 1956 01:30:30,960 --> 01:30:35,160 Speaker 2: So we'll see about that coronavirus news. We can hold 1957 01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:38,880 Speaker 2: that till tomorrow. And you know, even white people news. 1958 01:30:38,880 --> 01:30:40,960 Speaker 2: I know I heard you know, Kim K and Kanye 1959 01:30:41,640 --> 01:30:44,519 Speaker 2: divorce is on the table. They're getting counseling right now, 1960 01:30:44,680 --> 01:30:47,720 Speaker 2: So that's h that might be a thing we talk 1961 01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:49,960 Speaker 2: about tomorrow or not. Who knows what we'll talk about tomorrow. 1962 01:30:49,960 --> 01:30:51,920 Speaker 2: Maybe someone writes in another letter, we'd be like, fuck 1963 01:30:52,000 --> 01:30:54,040 Speaker 2: this show, talk about what we want to talk about 1964 01:30:54,040 --> 01:30:56,880 Speaker 2: because our show, god damn it show, we talk about 1965 01:30:56,880 --> 01:30:58,920 Speaker 2: wherever we want to. And now the volume is probably 1966 01:30:58,920 --> 01:31:02,400 Speaker 2: too loud. How do you like dat America? I have 1967 01:31:02,520 --> 01:31:04,360 Speaker 2: to figure that out. I just saw that when I 1968 01:31:04,400 --> 01:31:06,639 Speaker 2: when I raised my voice, that that it went too loud. 1969 01:31:06,640 --> 01:31:11,240 Speaker 2: All right, Thank y'all for listening. We'll be back tomorrow. 1970 01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:14,800 Speaker 1: Until then, I love you, I love you to