Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be out wait everything
Speaker 1: that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2: I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong,
Speaker 2: I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: And that will always out way if.
Speaker 2: You feel it. But she'll some love to the vio.
Speaker 2: Why get there? Say go one day? Ana? Did you
Speaker 2: and die out way? Happy Saturday, out weigh.
Speaker 1: I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are back to follow up
Speaker 1: last week's conversation, which was all around this common question
Speaker 1: that I get asked all the time, which is does
Speaker 1: it get easier? And that is the million dollar question
Speaker 1: that really doesn't have a simple answer, but we are
Speaker 1: definitely going to simplify it as much as we possibly can.
Speaker 1: So last week we started this important conversation and this
Speaker 1: week I want a more or less give you a
Speaker 1: checklist that you can literally use to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're teaching your brain ease instead of inadvertently or accidentally
Speaker 1: teaching it to work harder. So let's just start there,
Speaker 1: shall we, So instead of making it so hard and
Speaker 1: so complex, because let's be honest, there is so much
Speaker 1: information that confuses us out there nowadays, and let's be honest,
Speaker 1: everyone is an air quotes expert nowadays too, and of
Speaker 1: course I'm putting expert in air quotes, but to boot,
Speaker 1: every expert is telling you something different to do. And
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it's count carbs or count calories, or
Speaker 1: fake it till you make it, or work harder at
Speaker 1: the gym, and this just confuses the daylights out of us, right,
Speaker 1: And the general theme is that the world is throwing
Speaker 1: more diets and exercise plans at a deeper problem. And
Speaker 1: if you're anything like I was, you might still be
Speaker 1: trying to outdiet or outsmart a deeper problem. And there's
Speaker 1: no shame in that whatsoever. That's why we're having these conversations.
Speaker 1: But it's also no wonder that one of the most
Speaker 1: common questions I get asked by, you know, women like you,
Speaker 1: stressed out dieters, people that are sick of thinking about
Speaker 1: food is leanne does it ever get easier? And so
Speaker 1: why is it that you're going strong and then life
Speaker 1: happens and the slope just gets slippery again, And why.
Speaker 2: Doesn't your brain just keep the path?
Speaker 1: So let's talk about making it simpler and easier, but
Speaker 1: in a way that your brain actually deems easier, so
Speaker 1: that we can stop teaching our brains to do things
Speaker 1: the hard way, as in, really take the time and
Speaker 1: energy one time to teach your brain a new language
Speaker 1: and a new way of thinking.
Speaker 2: But it's a language that.
Speaker 1: Gets easier the more you practice it, and you get
Speaker 1: better at it the more you practice it, so that
Speaker 1: it just becomes who you are versus dieting just gets harder,
Speaker 1: you get worse at it, and we never get good
Speaker 1: at it. Right, So let's talk about that kind of
Speaker 1: thinking for a change, the kind that gets easier. And
Speaker 1: my simple answer to the question of does it get
Speaker 1: easier is yes and no, depending on how you look
Speaker 1: at it. So yes, it gets easier if you're practicing ease,
Speaker 1: and no, it never gets easier if you're always practicing hard.
Speaker 1: And that's why it's so important that you know which
Speaker 1: one you're practicing, because, as you've learned from everything that
Speaker 1: we talk about here on this podcast, your brain gets
Speaker 1: good at whatever we practice. So if you are making
Speaker 1: things harder, it's because you're practicing it in a hard way, right,
Speaker 1: And all you need is some awareness, awareness of how
Speaker 1: you are practicing the hard way. And really, when I
Speaker 1: say the hard way, this is how your brain sees it,
Speaker 1: so that you can shift over to practicing the easy way,
Speaker 1: as in how your brain and nervous system also sees it.
Speaker 1: So let's take a look at all the ways in
Speaker 1: which you might actually be practicing hard. So the first
Speaker 1: one is control. So this includes things like restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion,
Speaker 1: so the counting, the wigh, the measuring, the micromanaging, the obsession. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's number one control. Next we have pain.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this.
Speaker 1: Means physical, mental, or emotional pain. It might even mean
Speaker 1: social or spiritual pain. Right, Practicing anything that is soul sucking,
Speaker 1: energy robbing, smile stealing, stress inducing, or that you outright
Speaker 1: do not like or do not enjoy. You're practicing hard
Speaker 1: anything that causes And this is number three. Internal discord. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this includes experiencing guilt or shame or blame. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're experiencing a lot of comparisonitis or perfectionism or judgment.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just self criticism, right, and there's definitely we
Speaker 1: talk about that a lot on this podcast. But that
Speaker 1: internal discord, if that's what you're practicing, you're practicing hard.
Speaker 1: Number four is extremism. So this means all the black white,
Speaker 1: all in, all out mentality, rightly, like you're either all
Speaker 1: in or you're all out, using language labeling things as
Speaker 1: good bad, right?
Speaker 2: Wrong? Should? Should it? Always? Never?
Speaker 1: Or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness,
Speaker 1: peace of mind, or freedom for results. Okay, So if
Speaker 1: you have extremism built into your plan, you're practicing hard,
Speaker 1: your brain will never get good at it. Number five
Speaker 1: too fast or too much? Okay, So that might be
Speaker 1: that zero to sixty mentality like too much, too soon,
Speaker 1: or unsustainable expectations or unrealistic expectations, so you know that
Speaker 1: lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes kind of thought process,
Speaker 1: or again, just that zero to sixty mentality. So if
Speaker 1: it's too fast or too much, you're practicing hard. But
Speaker 1: also the flip side number six, if it's too slow
Speaker 1: or too little. Okay, So this might show up in
Speaker 1: the form of being kind of non committal, right or
Speaker 1: maybe you're dabbling in a bunch of things and you're
Speaker 1: staying like interested in it, but you've never committed to it,
Speaker 1: like you've never fully committed to solving the problem, and
Speaker 1: then in turn, you're living in the gray, so you're
Speaker 1: like you're not in, but you're not fully out either.
Speaker 1: And for me, honestly, sometimes like living in the gray
Speaker 1: feels harder than when I'm totally off, you know, or
Speaker 1: when I'm out, or when I'm done, or when I'm resigned.
Speaker 1: So too slow or too little could be considered hard
Speaker 1: to your brain. The other way you practice hard is
Speaker 1: if something has and this is number seven, diminishing return.
Speaker 1: So anything that gets harder the more we practice it,
Speaker 1: or it just never gets easy, or anything that we
Speaker 1: get worse at the more that we practice it, or
Speaker 1: we just never seem to get good at it, you're
Speaker 1: going to get those diminishing returns. And it's never going
Speaker 1: to be the air quotes thing that's going to heal
Speaker 1: your struggles. Right, And so those are seven main things
Speaker 1: that your brain could be doing that's practicing hard.
Speaker 2: And this is not the only list, right, this.
Speaker 1: Is not the the you know, cumulative, end all, be
Speaker 1: all list. There's other things that are not on this list,
Speaker 1: but these are the most common and honestly the most
Speaker 1: sneaky and the easiest traps to fall into if you're
Speaker 1: not aware Luckily, though, you are now aware of all
Speaker 1: of those ways that you.
Speaker 2: Can practice hard.
Speaker 1: So now let's take a look at what does your
Speaker 1: brain need to practice easy or practice ease? Okay, so
Speaker 1: number one is freedom. So this is about feeling like
Speaker 1: we have a choice or an abundance of choices, right,
Speaker 1: feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors
Speaker 1: rather than those behaviors controlling us, or feeling like our
Speaker 1: brain controls us or food controls us.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Feeling free, like not chained or confined by rules and
Speaker 1: restrictions and especially diets. Right, So your brain needs to
Speaker 1: practice freedom, which is again the opposite of choice being
Speaker 1: taken away from you. Number two, though, might sound a
Speaker 1: little bit counterintuitive now that I just said freedom, But
Speaker 1: number two is actually structure. Okay, so here's the reality.
Speaker 1: Our brains desire and crave predictability and structure. Our brains
Speaker 1: want to know that we can like count on it,
Speaker 1: like count on a system or like a plan.
Speaker 2: Right, But this is very different.
Speaker 1: The idea of structure is very different than control or
Speaker 1: hard and fast rules or feeling imprisoned by that structure. Right,
Speaker 1: And so the best structure for your brain is going
Speaker 1: to be based on principles and thought processes that are
Speaker 1: in alignment with you and your values, but that also
Speaker 1: make you feel free. Remember that, like I was saying,
Speaker 1: too much control, and your inner rebel will chime in
Speaker 1: and have a field day and be like, nope, we
Speaker 1: are not doing that. So just a little side note,
Speaker 1: One of the things I talk about with my clients
Speaker 1: right before they graduate so we can really hone in
Speaker 1: their recipe is this idea of like, how can we
Speaker 1: give you the structure that your brain needs, but with
Speaker 1: freedom built into the beginning, so you're getting that happy medium.
Speaker 1: And it really is like a delicate dance. It's a
Speaker 1: recipe that you need to create.
Speaker 2: Okay. So number two is structure. Number three is flexibility.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so we can't feel totally confined in or
Speaker 1: boxed in by that structure. It has to allow us
Speaker 1: to also experience freedom while we go and enable us
Speaker 1: to adapt to our lives as we go. And that's why,
Speaker 1: you know, flexibility is the opposite of hard and fast rules.
Speaker 1: And when you're in that black and white, all or
Speaker 1: nothing mindset, flexibility doesn't look like a good thing. It
Speaker 1: looks like you air quotes fell off the wagon. And
Speaker 1: so that's why it's like we've got to get aligned
Speaker 1: with this concept of like no flexibility is part of
Speaker 1: it from the beginning, or else this plan isn't going
Speaker 1: to work for me. Right, So number three is flexibility.
Speaker 1: Number four is consistency. Okay, So if you're not able
Speaker 1: to get yourself to do it consistency consistently, I should say,
Speaker 1: you are never going to get the returns. You're not
Speaker 1: going to get the return on your investment of time
Speaker 1: and energy and heart and soul. Right, And so you're
Speaker 1: better off working in minimums as opposed to maximums zero
Speaker 1: to sixty and working in minimums in small steps and
Speaker 1: baby steps and small doses and doing thing things consistently
Speaker 1: rather than working in maximums and doing it sporadically or
Speaker 1: let's be honest, not doing it at all. And so
Speaker 1: consistency trump's intensity all day, every day. So it's consistency
Speaker 1: over intensity, which is obviously not a lot of what
Speaker 1: we're doing. A lot of times people are really thinking
Speaker 1: that intensity is the way.
Speaker 2: Like that go harder, go home kind of mindset.
Speaker 1: And you know, consistency is the key, and consistency over
Speaker 1: intensity is the key. Which is the opposite of what
Speaker 1: most people are doing, and definitely the opposite of like
Speaker 1: diets and like the weight loss mentality and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: So consistency is number four. Sustainability. Okay, anything that we
Speaker 1: can see ourselves doing not just a week from now,
Speaker 1: but a month from now, three months from now, twelve
Speaker 1: months from now, right, and anything that doesn't fit into
Speaker 1: this category is bound to be a time limited thing
Speaker 1: and will eventually.
Speaker 2: Get harder the more we practice it, right.
Speaker 1: And so one of the things I talk to my
Speaker 1: clients about is like, first of all, I do care,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, yes, I care about the short run,
Speaker 1: Like I want you to be happy in the short run.
Speaker 1: But like, instead of thinking about, you know, forty five
Speaker 1: or fifty five year old version of you, who do
Speaker 1: you want to be and how do you want to
Speaker 1: be feeling at sixty five seventy five, let's get optimistic
Speaker 1: one hundred and five so that you're not thinking about
Speaker 1: this and you can deal with this now and not
Speaker 1: have to live in it forever. Live like working on
Speaker 1: this forever, because let's be honest, most of the people
Speaker 1: I talk to, they're like, leanne, I have been thinking
Speaker 1: about this for so many years. I've been trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out for years, like I just want to
Speaker 1: be done right. And that's where I invite you to
Speaker 1: start thinking ahead, like not just what you could do
Speaker 1: sustain like right now. And there is a time and
Speaker 1: a place. There's short term experiments where you can say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this. It's not a forever thing.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do it for three days. But a
Speaker 1: lot of women aren't thinking like that, in like they
Speaker 1: just commit to the next diet, the next diet, and
Speaker 1: they don't think about, like, who do I want to
Speaker 1: be a year, five years, ten years from now, so
Speaker 1: that I'm not dealing with this anymore. And that's where
Speaker 1: the sustainability piece of the puzzle comes into play. Number
Speaker 1: six is practicality, and so it fits within the constructs
Speaker 1: of our lives and our circumstances and our wants and
Speaker 1: our needs as opposed to trying to force it or
Speaker 1: overhaul our life right. And so anything that forces us
Speaker 1: to uproot our lives or sacrifice the things that are
Speaker 1: important to us is not going to be part of
Speaker 1: a long term solution.
Speaker 2: And it will never get easier the more you practice it.
Speaker 1: Which is again the definition of what your brain needs
Speaker 1: to consider something easy like does it get easier the
Speaker 1: more I practice it?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Number seven And a lot of people don't think about this,
Speaker 1: but it's really important.
Speaker 2: Is happiness.
Speaker 1: Anything that adds joy or ease or peace or happiness
Speaker 1: or creates energy is what your brain needs.
Speaker 2: Now here's the thing. It might not always be like.
Speaker 1: Pie in the sky, like happy dance joyful, right, but
Speaker 1: it just can't, at the very least take it away.
Speaker 1: So if anything is taking away your happiness or making
Speaker 1: you miserable beyond the scope of this episode, it's creating
Speaker 1: something called negative neuro associations, and your brain will never
Speaker 1: learn it long term. And then number eight, I think
Speaker 1: is one of the most like important ones, but it's
Speaker 1: also kind of the simplest is it's got to create
Speaker 1: actual habit creation. Okay, And here's what I mean by
Speaker 1: that again, And you might think I sound like a
Speaker 1: broken record, but it's so important. Anything that gets easier
Speaker 1: the more we practice it, or maybe it's easy from
Speaker 1: day one, and anything that we get better at it
Speaker 1: the more we practice it, or that maybe we just
Speaker 1: start off good at it.
Speaker 2: This is what's going to enable us.
Speaker 1: To keep practicing it and get the consistency and get
Speaker 1: the reps that you actually need to create a habit. Right,
Speaker 1: and that is how you practice ease. And if you're
Speaker 1: anything like me, and remember I was dieting since I
Speaker 1: was a kid, this is not the stuff that usually
Speaker 1: comes alongside dieting or thinking about food twenty four to seven, right,
Speaker 1: that the other list when we're talking about all the
Speaker 1: ways you practice hard, that's what comes alongside that, right,
Speaker 1: And that's why you need a whole new way of
Speaker 1: thinking and a really you know, taking a radically different approach,
Speaker 1: which again might seem foreign to a lot of women
Speaker 1: listening to this right now. Right, But here's also an
Speaker 1: important side note, and I'll get kind of geeky, but
Speaker 1: not too geeky. On a brain level, short term habits
Speaker 1: and those long term like always have them, actually become
Speaker 1: a habit in your brain kind of habits. Short term
Speaker 1: and long term habits live in two separate parts of
Speaker 1: your brain. And so the long term part of your
Speaker 1: brain is driven by ease and pleasure or at least
Speaker 1: can't be experiencing pain. And when your brain experiences the
Speaker 1: opposite of those things, So if it's experiencing you know,
Speaker 1: resistance or force or persuasion, like you're persuading yourself to
Speaker 1: do or not do something, or eat or not eat something,
Speaker 1: or constant hunger for example. Right, that's another example of
Speaker 1: you know, hard, your brain is essentially going to say, like,
Speaker 1: don't worry, brain, we don't have to move this over
Speaker 1: to the long term storage part of our brain. She's
Speaker 1: not going to be doing that very long, right, And
Speaker 1: nine times out of ten your brain would be right, right,
Speaker 1: unless you're just eking out willpower to do it. So again,
Speaker 1: it's just science, right. And that's when it comes to
Speaker 1: that question of does it ever get easier? Well, again,
Speaker 1: the answer is yes and no. It gets easier if
Speaker 1: you practice easier, and it never gets easier if you're
Speaker 1: practicing harder. And so we become whatever we practice, and
Speaker 1: it really does become a matter of what are you practicing?
Speaker 1: Are you practicing ease or are you practicing hard? And yeah, again,
Speaker 1: you can go play the focus on your physical appearance
Speaker 1: game over and over again and never break the cycle,
Speaker 1: or you can do what we're doing right here and
Speaker 1: just really change your thinking so that you can get
Speaker 1: different results. But if you want to do differently and
Speaker 1: behave differently. You must think and believe differently. It really
Speaker 1: is as simple as that, and the truth is and
Speaker 1: there's no shame in it. But most women won't do
Speaker 1: this right. Most women go start looking for the next
Speaker 1: diet or the next game of control myself, or the
Speaker 1: next you know, action item they can check off like
Speaker 1: a tick box.
Speaker 2: Right. But those that do.
Speaker 1: That, like stop the definition of insanity of you know,
Speaker 1: doing the same things over and over again and expecting
Speaker 1: different results, they're the ones that are going to find
Speaker 1: that the journey to healing actually begins and the suffering
Speaker 1: ends and all of the good stuff that comes on
Speaker 1: the other side of healing that road can finally begin.
Speaker 2: So that is it for today, outweigh and if.
Speaker 1: You want to learn more about how to turn off
Speaker 1: the part of your brain that's obsessed with food or
Speaker 1: obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for
Speaker 1: peace and freedom, then head on over to Stressless Eating
Speaker 1: dot com and sign up to watch the Stressless Eating
Speaker 1: sneak preview, where I've literally peeled back the curtain and
Speaker 1: walked you through the exact strategy I teach my clients
Speaker 1: to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality
Speaker 1: for good but without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies,
Speaker 1: and definitely without ever having to use words like macros,
Speaker 1: low carb or calorie burn. And so it is there
Speaker 1: for you over at Stressless Eating dot com.
Speaker 2: And if you like, outweigh.
Speaker 1: I actually have another podcast here on iHeart where I
Speaker 1: talk about all of this self image and body image stuff,
Speaker 1: but from the perspective of where brain science intersects faith and.
Speaker 2: So it's called What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 1: And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Speaker 1: Leahne Ellington and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.