Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: Is this a therapy?
Speaker 1: Get go? Yes? Is this You didn't even give me
Speaker 1: your name? What's your name? Or give me a fake name?
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna give you a fake name.
Speaker 1: I'm going to call you John so John, Yes, Gecko?
Speaker 1: What's up? Man? What's up? You texted me and you said,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about how I went from being
Speaker 1: a Santa Elf to a being a clown influencer to
Speaker 1: being a school teacher. What is this? You seem like
Speaker 1: you've had an interesting career trajectory. I'd like to hear
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the pipeline is definitely strange for sure.
Speaker 1: Let's start from the beginning.
Speaker 2: I started being a clown or not a clown. I
Speaker 2: started being a clown years ago. I started being a
Speaker 2: Santa Elf because I was kicked out of my mom's
Speaker 2: house when I was like seventeen, and so I started
Speaker 2: being a clown or not a clown elf. And it
Speaker 2: was a really weird experience. The people there were always
Speaker 2: on drugs and I don't know, it was just an experience.
Speaker 2: For sure. I was an alcoholic at the time, so
Speaker 2: I'd be like a drunk elf and I don't know,
Speaker 2: it was a weird experience. I lived in a weird house.
Speaker 2: I don't know where to go from there.
Speaker 1: But you were like living that movie Bad Santa.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. I was definitely in Bad Santa.
Speaker 2: I almost went back this year as like a side
Speaker 2: hustle on top of being a teacher, and then I
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know if I can go back
Speaker 2: with how much I've changed since the last time I
Speaker 2: was Santa Elf, because I was definitely not the best
Speaker 2: Santa Elf.
Speaker 1: I have questions. So, all right, so you were kicked
Speaker 1: out at seventeen and you dropped You dropped out of
Speaker 1: high school around then.
Speaker 2: I dropped out of high school like six months before
Speaker 2: because I kind of could tell I was about to.
Speaker 3: Get kicked out.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm in college now, but I great. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: was kicked out and I didn't know what job to work,
Speaker 2: and I saw a posting for Santa and I applied
Speaker 2: as a joke. And then they called me back and
Speaker 2: they're like, how old are you? And I was like, seventeen,
Speaker 2: can I still be Santa? And they gave me an
Speaker 2: interview for Santa, but they said it didn't work out,
Speaker 2: so they gave you Santa Elf.
Speaker 1: Are you skinny or fat.
Speaker 2: I'm not skinny at whatsoever, but I'm definitely not old
Speaker 2: looking enough to be Santa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like a seventeen first of all, a
Speaker 1: seventeen first of all, people lining up to sit on
Speaker 1: a seventeen year old lap a little weird, but.
Speaker 2: It's got to be illegal.
Speaker 1: That's got to be illegal. So I think, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: better suited to be uh an Elf. I would say,
Speaker 1: so interesting. So you just applied as a job, I mean,
Speaker 1: not his job as a joke. What was your experience
Speaker 1: at the time that that made them call you back?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I used to work a lot of
Speaker 2: events stuff. That's kind of what led me into clowning.
Speaker 2: I used to work at my city's art museum and
Speaker 2: like a bunch of stuff. So I think they were
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, he could probably Santa Santa or Santa Elf.
Speaker 2: And it was a weird experience because there was like,
Speaker 2: there's such intense drama with all of the Santas and
Speaker 2: all of the ELFs.
Speaker 1: I would love to hear some stories of drama in
Speaker 1: the uh in the Elf Santa universe.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think my favorite Santa where there was drama, Well, no,
Speaker 2: I have two favorite Santa's where there's drama. One was
Speaker 2: so unbelievably narcissistic and abusive to his daughter that was
Speaker 2: a Santa elf. And he was also really homophobic and
Speaker 2: really transphobic, and the manager was gay, and so my
Speaker 2: manager hated him. And he would into such intense fights,
Speaker 2: like moments before we're opening the door for a bunch
Speaker 2: of children to come in, you could see them in
Speaker 2: the window, like screaming at each other, and he would
Speaker 2: like come the like that Santa would come into work
Speaker 2: drunk almost every single day and it was really really goofy.
Speaker 1: And then, honest, I do feel like like being a
Speaker 1: mall Santa, it is kind of a great job for
Speaker 1: someone who's a narcissist, right, Like you're the guy you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know Santa.
Speaker 2: The daughter was like the whole reason he's Santa is
Speaker 2: because he's narcissistic and he couldn't find a job where
Speaker 2: he could get more attention than being the Santa what
Speaker 2: a I I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I mean, look, if you're gonna look if that's
Speaker 1: just part of who you are, right is, like you
Speaker 1: have this grand desire for attention. Being a mall Santa
Speaker 1: is not the worst outlet I've ever heard of for that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. I feel like it's honestly probably
Speaker 2: the best outlet if you're gonna do anything. I feel
Speaker 2: like that's the least harmful. And the other Santa that
Speaker 2: I really loved, where's a lot of drama. It's just
Speaker 2: really funny. He definitely had dementia and didn't want to
Speaker 2: admit it, and he would just get confused all the
Speaker 2: time and be like who's this? Where am I? He's
Speaker 2: like look down in his Santa suit and he's like
Speaker 2: what's going on all the time.
Speaker 1: See, a narcissist would make a good Santa, but someone
Speaker 1: with dementia that'd be kind of hard because Santa's known
Speaker 1: for being like omnipotent, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: he's supposed to like know, He's like God, He's like
Speaker 1: supposed to know everything.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure.
Speaker 1: So what happened this? This the second Santa that you liked? Well,
Speaker 1: was there any drama or you just liked him? He's
Speaker 1: a cool guy.
Speaker 3: I just liked him.
Speaker 2: But it was funny because he just like never knew
Speaker 2: where he was. And then there was also like missus
Speaker 2: Claus drama because she kept calling the like seventeen year
Speaker 2: old elves whores? Really strange.
Speaker 1: Why was she calling the elves whores?
Speaker 2: The elves were all hooking up and like everyone knew it.
Speaker 2: I was not personally hooking up because I'm in a
Speaker 2: long term relationship, but every other elf was like hardcore
Speaker 2: hooking up with each other. So much drama at work.
Speaker 2: And one time this girl was sitting like on the
Speaker 2: floor and missus Claus comes up to her and goes,
Speaker 2: that's how hookers sit in the Netherlands. If you sit
Speaker 2: like that, you're gonna get asked for sex. And we
Speaker 2: were like at Santa.
Speaker 1: Huh, how many how many elves worked here?
Speaker 2: I think about thirty elves. Yeah, I knew all the
Speaker 2: elves because I'd be there at different times of day,
Speaker 2: so I had all of the drama of all of
Speaker 2: the elves and all of the Santas, and I did
Speaker 2: not hold it very well because I was very drunk
Speaker 2: and high at work every day.
Speaker 1: Were all the other elves also very drunk and high
Speaker 1: at work every day?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah? People would take smoke breaks off the time,
Speaker 2: and we were like the most hated people in the
Speaker 2: store because we worked at a really fancy department store,
Speaker 2: and like every other department in the store actively made
Speaker 2: fun of us and like would bet on who's going
Speaker 2: to quit?
Speaker 1: The soonest are all of the are were all of
Speaker 1: the elves like high school kids.
Speaker 2: Not necessarily a lot of them were just because it
Speaker 2: was like minimum wage. But there was a few, like
Speaker 2: middle aged women who were just doing it as a
Speaker 2: side hustle and then they would like party with the
Speaker 2: like children, which was funny. And there was also this
Speaker 2: one middle aged lady that was an ELF that would
Speaker 2: not leave people on the street alone because it was
Speaker 2: her job to get people to come in. And one
Speaker 2: time she harassed this Jewish family because they were like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to come in, and she was like
Speaker 2: why and they're like, I'm Jewish and and she was.
Speaker 1: Like, so, dude, Jewish people love Santa. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know that, but I believe you, Yeah, dude. One
Speaker 1: of the first things that my my dad did, uh
Speaker 1: after I probably shouldn't tk about this, but I'm going
Speaker 1: to One of the first things my dad did after
Speaker 1: he and my mom split up was he bought a
Speaker 1: Christmas tree. That's what he always wanted to fucking he
Speaker 1: was Jewish. His whole his whole life, he was told,
Speaker 1: you know, as a Jew, he could not celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 1: And then finally, you know, a single man in his
Speaker 1: late forties, he's getting his ass a Christmas tree. He's
Speaker 1: reliving the uh you know, his his his dreams is
Speaker 1: from a child from childhood.
Speaker 2: Anyway, my my ex girlfriend was Jewish and her the
Speaker 2: only reason they were Jewish is because of her grandma.
Speaker 2: And when her grandma died, she cheered because she was like,
Speaker 2: I can finally eat bacon and celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, every every every Jewish, every Jewish kid. Because
Speaker 1: when you were a child like and you see every
Speaker 1: one else like celebrating Christmas, you feel a little bad
Speaker 1: that you can't do it. And so when those shackles
Speaker 1: are released, it's it's, uh, you know, the Jews are
Speaker 1: overdosing on Christmas.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I as a school teacher during the holiday scene
Speaker 2: and none of my kids are Jewish, but they were
Speaker 2: asking me, like, why does it Santa visit Jewish people?
Speaker 2: And I said I don't know, because I was like
Speaker 2: I don't I don't want to dive in and tell
Speaker 2: them something something stupid.
Speaker 1: Well, we have Hanikah Harry, but he's a little bit
Speaker 1: of a.
Speaker 2: Creep Hankah Harry, Yeah, we.
Speaker 1: Don't talk about him. But anyway, all right, so you're
Speaker 1: working at how long? Were you an elf?
Speaker 2: For like three or four months?
Speaker 3: I think?
Speaker 1: All right? And what made you quit?
Speaker 2: I didn't quit. I got it was like a seasonal
Speaker 2: thing because Santa only lasts for so.
Speaker 1: Long, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: And then I worked at a coffee chain, a really
Speaker 2: evil one, for a couple of weeks and it's so horrible.
Speaker 2: So I begged my old manager at Santa to get
Speaker 2: me a job at the department store, and then I
Speaker 2: worked there for a while, and I kind of had
Speaker 2: a breaking point of like, if I work in retail
Speaker 2: any longer, I think I'll fall apart. So that's how
Speaker 2: I started looking into being a teacher.
Speaker 1: And so is that what you do now?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm an after school teacher and it's pretty insane.
Speaker 2: I think it's actually funnier than being an elf, because
Speaker 2: with an elf, like the all you see of the
Speaker 2: kids is crying and screaming and waiting for Santa, and
Speaker 2: the things I see on the daily as an after
Speaker 2: school teacher is just so much funnier.
Speaker 1: What's the funniest thing you've seen as an after school teacher.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's so many. There's so many. I have like
Speaker 2: a quote page in my journal of funny shit they say.
Speaker 2: I think the funniest thing I've ever not witnessed but
Speaker 2: heard a kids say was he was reading this garf
Speaker 2: comic and he was like, why would he eat my
Speaker 2: My coworkers like, why would he not eat Lazan on Mondays?
Speaker 2: If he hates Mondays? And the kid goes, well, think
Speaker 2: about it. If your dad died, would you want to
Speaker 2: eat Lazania the next day? And they were like what
Speaker 2: And he was like, diet tip, kill your dad.
Speaker 1: Wait. I don't get it.
Speaker 2: I don't get it either. I had no idea what
Speaker 2: he was talking about.
Speaker 1: I wait, yeah, wait, actually hold on, I do get
Speaker 1: it a little bit. It kind of makes sense, right
Speaker 1: if you if you kill your father, like because when
Speaker 1: people are more No, no, no, Actually I know exactly what's
Speaker 1: kid saying. Because if you're in mourning, you will want
Speaker 1: to eat less, So you should kill your family so
Speaker 1: that you're too sad to eat. Is that's what he's saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should just kill your family, But don't, don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not condoning that, but kill your family.
Speaker 1: Well, you don't condone killing your family.
Speaker 2: I mean in some circumstances. I think it's situational. I
Speaker 2: don't think everyone should go around killing their family. But like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know your life.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the situation where you should kill your family.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I don't want to sound saying oh, I mean like
Speaker 2: the Gypsy Rose shit or something. I don't know. It's
Speaker 2: like there's certain circumstances where it's the only way out
Speaker 2: as a murder. I guess, like, do what you want
Speaker 2: with your life. I'm I'm not. I don't have a moral.
Speaker 2: I mean, I have morals, but I'm not gonna put
Speaker 2: morals over people I don't know their life.
Speaker 1: I respect that. Hold you now.
Speaker 3: I'm eighteen.
Speaker 2: I've been working as a teacher since September. I think
Speaker 2: the funniest thing I've ever witnessed recently, though, was it
Speaker 2: was actually kind of horrific where these kids got in
Speaker 2: a fight and another kid tried to choke someone out
Speaker 2: with a jump rope.
Speaker 1: Jesus fucking christ Man. So I'm curious. I'm curious, I
Speaker 1: have to ask. So it's all this stuff is very
Speaker 1: recent and so, I mean a few questions for you. Uh,
Speaker 1: one is, so you dropped out of high school? Did
Speaker 1: you get your GED?
Speaker 2: Kind of I'm in this weird program where it's like
Speaker 2: you take your GED tests and you go to college,
Speaker 2: but instead at the end they give you a diploma.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how it works or is legal. I
Speaker 2: don't know. I'm just I'm just in it, just giving
Speaker 2: me free college.
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, and uh, what was I
Speaker 1: gonna say? Are you? How are how are you able
Speaker 1: to get a teaching job without a college degree.
Speaker 2: I'm really good at talking my way into things, but
Speaker 2: since it's after school, you're not required to, they just
Speaker 2: like strongly want it. But I just kind of went
Speaker 2: on a tangent about how I was an elf and
Speaker 2: like I babysat or something like that. I definitely was
Speaker 2: not qualified enough for my job. It's definitely been interesting.
Speaker 2: I love my job, but it's definitely been interesting trying
Speaker 2: to navigate it because I'm definitely not qualified.
Speaker 1: And how are you on the alcohol now?
Speaker 2: Sober? Sort of? Like I actually, I like I stopped
Speaker 2: drinking for a long time, and then I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, I think I can drink, but I just
Speaker 2: can't drink every day because I didn't want to, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was just like, I don't want
Speaker 2: to never drink ever again. I don't want to like
Speaker 2: waste all my alcohol, like all my all. I don't
Speaker 2: want to waste all the alcohol and being like an
Speaker 2: edgy sixteen seventeen year old. But I don't drink very often.
Speaker 2: It's like very very random at this point. I mostly
Speaker 2: drank because when I was a Santa Elf, I had
Speaker 2: a really little ext roommate and I tried to stop drinking,
Speaker 2: but they were like, you're not even an alcoholic. You
Speaker 2: don't drink as much as me, or some shit like that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, you're a young fucking guy, John,
Speaker 1: What are you going to what's your plan? What are
Speaker 1: you gonna do? Now?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: I what do you desire for life?
Speaker 2: I've just been focusing on doing the most shit possible.
Speaker 2: I just want to experience stuff. I just want to
Speaker 2: be funny and goofy. I try to put myself in
Speaker 2: social situations where I have to talk to strangers and
Speaker 2: I host clown events. That's the clown part. I host
Speaker 2: local clown events. I had a really big, technically illegal
Speaker 2: clown punk show slash pageant in the park a few
Speaker 2: months ago.
Speaker 1: That sounds fucking awesome. What dude, Can I ask you
Speaker 1: what state you live in? Or is that too much information? Oh?
Speaker 2: I don't care. I live in Washington, live.
Speaker 1: In Portland, right?
Speaker 2: Oh? No, I do not live in Portland.
Speaker 1: Wait, you you host hold on? You hosted in a
Speaker 1: legal clown You hosted in illegal punk clown pageants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was actually really awesome. I was like looked
Speaker 2: into getting the permitting to do stuff at the park
Speaker 2: and then I realized it's like two hundred dollars and
Speaker 2: I was like, there's no way I'm paying the city
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars to do this. And thankfully no one
Speaker 2: called the cops, which I was really surprised because that
Speaker 2: area is very cop colleague. But there was a lot
Speaker 2: of because it was a public parks that weren't involved,
Speaker 2: that looked very horrified because it was like a bunch
Speaker 2: of clowns washing to this local band. And then the
Speaker 2: pageant part was like I was hosting this like fight
Speaker 2: to the death. I posted it and I was like
Speaker 2: fight to the death for your honor and fifty dollars.
Speaker 2: So there was eight clown men. They had a talent thing.
Speaker 2: My favorite round is when they all threw pie at
Speaker 2: me all at once, and it wasn't like a cream
Speaker 2: pile like a normal clown throw because we couldn't find
Speaker 2: any So they were just throwing like cherry or apple
Speaker 2: pie at me or something and they just got big
Speaker 2: handfuls because we didn't have enough pie for everyone.
Speaker 1: Now, real quick, John, real quick, John, I really want
Speaker 1: to hammer in on this because what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: First of all, I find it fascinating. I'm very impressed
Speaker 1: that you're so fucking young and you're you know, showing
Speaker 1: the initiative to like do all this stuff. Because I
Speaker 1: want to press on this for like logistical reasons because
Speaker 1: one of the big things that people talk about on
Speaker 1: this show that is also honestly a big thing in
Speaker 1: like my own personal life, is like, how do you
Speaker 1: form community? Right, Like, how do you how do you
Speaker 1: make friends as an adult? How do you form community?
Speaker 1: How do you kind of make your own thing and
Speaker 1: to go out and make a It's what you're doing.
Speaker 1: I love it so much because you're going like okay,
Speaker 1: like who who am I? And like what's important to me?
Speaker 1: And how can I put it out in the universe
Speaker 1: in this way that like builds community. And you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do an illegal punk clown pageant that fucking rocks.
Speaker 1: So if you could just tell us real quick, like
Speaker 1: what are the what were the logistics of it? Like
Speaker 1: how did you get people to show up? How did
Speaker 1: you spread the word?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Like me, give me some logistics?
Speaker 2: Actually were my not my whole inspiration, but like like
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this. You was like talk a
Speaker 2: lot about making your own thing if it's not a thing.
Speaker 2: And when I worked at the department store and I
Speaker 2: dropped out of high school and I had like no
Speaker 2: social interaction, I was like, I have to force myself
Speaker 2: to make my own and then I was trying to
Speaker 2: think of what I could do, and then I had
Speaker 2: the first one that was also illegal, but it was
Speaker 2: like less illegal because there wasn't like money being exchanged.
Speaker 2: But for that one, it was a lot of reaching
Speaker 2: out to random people I know and seeing who they
Speaker 2: know and kind of just being like, are you a clown?
Speaker 2: What do you want to do?
Speaker 3: Will you?
Speaker 2: What do you want to do at the thing, so
Speaker 2: there was I reached out to a band I know.
Speaker 2: I reached out to my friend that is a line cook,
Speaker 2: and he set up I probably not food handlers, sir,
Speaker 2: not food handlers safe like free barbecue where I bought
Speaker 2: all the groceries. I was like hands and shishka bobs
Speaker 2: or some shit out to clowns. And I had like
Speaker 2: a lot of local artists that I was friends with
Speaker 2: from working at the our museum and working all over
Speaker 2: the place, and they evented and it was I needed
Speaker 2: a I needed a lot of more help than I anticipated.
Speaker 2: But most of the frustrating part was just figuring out
Speaker 2: where to get a generator because I didn't realize how
Speaker 2: hard it is to find one, how expensive it is,
Speaker 2: and I had to get a lot. I had to
Speaker 2: have like five clowns lifted up for me. But I
Speaker 2: basically just picked a random park and went from there.
Speaker 2: I kind of go into event planning in a shitty
Speaker 2: way where I don't really like plan it out super well.
Speaker 1: I just kind of no, no, no, no, I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you, so I'm gonna tell you something.
Speaker 1: You go into an event planning in the best way,
Speaker 1: which is that you fucking do it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like a lot of people are like, uh oh,
Speaker 1: I think that would be cool, and then they never
Speaker 1: do it. That's the worst way to do event planning.
Speaker 1: You do it. Don't try to get it. Don't try
Speaker 1: to get it. It twisted. But but anyway, So, so John,
Speaker 1: before we go, I want to kind of wrap this
Speaker 1: first of all, I want to tell you I'm very
Speaker 1: impressed with you, dude. I mean to go from like
Speaker 1: getting kicked out of your house at seventeen by your mind.
Speaker 1: Are you and your mom still cool? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really cool. It was entirely because of her boyfriend.
Speaker 2: So I we we're cool. We hang all the time.
Speaker 1: Cool. So I mean, dude, I'm very impressed with you that,
Speaker 1: you know, at such a fucking young age, you're you're
Speaker 1: like taking control of your own life, not succumbing to
Speaker 1: your addictions, like like like a mazle tove to you,
Speaker 1: my dude, Like that's all really cool. I'm inspired by
Speaker 1: you genuinely. You just did this random clown pageant thing.
Speaker 1: I want to do more shit. I want to do
Speaker 1: more shit like that. See, I'm a bad event promoter,
Speaker 1: because I'm in my head about like all these things
Speaker 1: that I think would be cool to do, and I
Speaker 1: just don't do them, and you're just like, yeah, let
Speaker 1: me do a fucking clown pageant. So I'm I'm inspired
Speaker 1: by you, my friends.
Speaker 2: I was actually really bombed because I saw that you
Speaker 2: had your your gecko race here, but since I'm not
Speaker 2: twenty one, I couldn't go. And I go to a
Speaker 2: lot of the local race here and I was like,
Speaker 2: they're kind of horrible, They're not very good. So I
Speaker 2: was like, man, but I encourage if you have an idea,
Speaker 2: just just start posting it online and then you have
Speaker 2: to do it because you already promise people that you
Speaker 2: were doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, let me know if you want to come.
Speaker 1: I'm doing a show. I don't know if you're in Seattle,
Speaker 1: but I'm doing a show in Seattle. Let me know
Speaker 1: if I don't know if it's any one, I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's twenty one plus or not. Is it
Speaker 1: twenty one plus?
Speaker 2: Free show? Twenty one plus?
Speaker 1: Oh damn, I was gonna. I was gonna. I was
Speaker 1: gonna invite you to come, but yeah, you got to
Speaker 1: wait a couple of years anyway.
Speaker 2: I mean my friend I would get a fake ID
Speaker 2: for it, and then he tried to hook me up
Speaker 2: with somebody. You got me a fake idea, and I
Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm not getting a fake ID for that.
Speaker 2: I'm not spending hundreds of dollar. It's get a fake
Speaker 2: I need to go to the Gecko show.
Speaker 1: Fair enough. Well, I mean here's the thing. Man, going
Speaker 1: into the park and make your own illegal Gecko show.
Speaker 1: You can get a bunch of people, yeah, me and
Speaker 1: around to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna impersonal. I'm gonna get my own gucko
Speaker 2: costume and I'll stand outside the venue for anyone that
Speaker 2: can't go in.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go, John.
Speaker 2: If you have an idea, do it, even if it's stupid.
Speaker 2: Kiss bugs, hand out stickers, smoke weed if you like
Speaker 2: to do that. And stop taking yourself so seriously. That's
Speaker 2: probably the best part, the best thing that helped me
Speaker 2: getting sober and in general, just stop taking yourself so seriously.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you one final thing before we go,
Speaker 1: And if you don't want to doc yourself or if
Speaker 1: there's no real way to do this, then that's okay,
Speaker 1: but there are people in the chat, myself included, who
Speaker 1: are curious. Let's say somebody is in the Seattle area
Speaker 1: and would like to attend your next clown show. How
Speaker 1: might one do that? If that's possible?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I had an Instagram for it, and then
Speaker 2: I don't anymore. But I'll plug my person mind.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 2: It's guard Knees and I regularly randomly post different clown
Speaker 2: stuff and just different shit in general.
Speaker 3: I tried to.
Speaker 2: Host a bug meet up for people that like bus
Speaker 2: but it fell through.
Speaker 1: Gargoyle Just Gargoyle knees all one word.
Speaker 2: Yes, all one word, Gargoyle Knees. I I also, if
Speaker 2: you're in the Seattle area, I'm friends with a lot
Speaker 2: of event people, so if you're looking for stuff, I'm
Speaker 2: usually posting it.
Speaker 1: Cool. Well, everyone hit up Gargoyle Knees on Instagram if
Speaker 1: you want to go to the next clown time while
Speaker 1: I'm in town. I'm fucking there, bro.
Speaker 2: I will plug one soon. April sixth I'm having a
Speaker 2: backyard circus s'mores clown party.
Speaker 1: So sick, but yes, thank you, Gecko.
Speaker 2: I was an honor. I've been listening to you for
Speaker 2: like two years. Every time I feel miserable, I just
Speaker 2: turn on the geck.
Speaker 1: Thank you, John. You have a rest of the night.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you sharing.
Speaker 2: You have good rest of your day.
Speaker 1: Bye bye John. Dude. I really really really like that caller.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not bullshitting and like just blowing smoke
Speaker 1: up his ass when I say I'm inspired by that,
Speaker 1: because like, and he's so fucking young. He's eighteen, and
Speaker 1: he's like forming this path for himself and creating community
Speaker 1: with such initiative to be doing these pageants and putting
Speaker 1: on all this stuff and like not letting just not
Speaker 1: like shit stop him, you know, like, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: he overcame fucking the whatever was going on in his
Speaker 1: home life. He ever came having to drop out of
Speaker 1: high school. He ever came like uh uh you know,
Speaker 1: fucking any kind of social anxiety that that that you
Speaker 1: know is needed to do all this stuff. And he's
Speaker 1: just fucking eighteen and he's like, I don't care about
Speaker 1: the city laws. I'm putting on my goddamn clown pageant.
Speaker 1: I love it. I'm inspired by it. And I hope
Speaker 1: that uh, anyone listening to this goes goes check out
Speaker 1: gargoyle knees. I would love it if next time he
Speaker 1: does this clown ship a whole bunch of people from
Speaker 1: the podcast show up. So uh rock and roll shout
Speaker 1: out to John and uh uh fucking nice man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have I have all these ideas for things that
Speaker 1: I want to do, like little events and stuff, but
Speaker 1: I just keep putting them off. That's why I said
Speaker 1: I was inspired by him, because I just keep putting
Speaker 1: all this show. I mean, I know I'm doing a
Speaker 1: whole tour of live events and stuff, but I have
Speaker 1: you know, I have all I have other ideas too,
Speaker 1: so hey, follow me on Instagram too. Man, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start hosting weird clown shit. Maybe not clowns,
Speaker 1: maybe uh maybe clowns. I don't know, but yeah, thanks John.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: Also, I just another note to John. I forgot to
Speaker 1: mention this, but uh whatever, I'll jinx myself. I'll give
Speaker 1: a fuck. I do my gut co on the street
Speaker 1: thing where I like set up in a park and
Speaker 1: interview people and stuff. You think, but do you think
Speaker 1: I'm paying for a permit to do that shit? You
Speaker 1: think I'm getting permits from the city to do my
Speaker 1: Gecko shit. You're out of your mind. Hey, folks, this
Speaker 1: is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that I
Speaker 1: am going back on tour in twenty twenty four to
Speaker 1: do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If you've
Speaker 1: never been to one of my live shows before, they
Speaker 1: are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix
Speaker 1: of group Gecko therapy sessions as well as some material
Speaker 1: and presentations from myself. And if you've been to the
Speaker 1: show before, I have new presentations and will of course
Speaker 1: be interviewing new people. If you're a fan of the podcast,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a great time at the live show,
Speaker 1: So I hope to see you guys there. Go to
Speaker 1: Therapy geckotour dot com or check the link in the
Speaker 1: episode description for a full list of cities where tickets
Speaker 1: are available. Also, if you don't see your city on
Speaker 1: the list of cities, please still click the link and
Speaker 1: rs VP with your phone number so I can contact
Speaker 1: you when tickets go on sale for your city, because
Speaker 1: I'm going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
Speaker 1: Yeck bless.
Speaker 3: Hello.
Speaker 1: Hi? Who is this?
Speaker 3: Oh? Nice? Oh? This is a I guess you can
Speaker 3: call me Gabe.
Speaker 1: Gabe, my man. What's going on? How's it going?
Speaker 3: Not much? Not much? My wife wants to stay Hi.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, Hi.
Speaker 4: My husband's obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm obsessed with your husband. That's why I called him.
Speaker 1: I wanted to get my moment with him.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna come back on okay.
Speaker 3: All right. So no, yeah, I've been going to actual
Speaker 3: therapy and I told my therapist about you, and uh,
Speaker 3: I invited him to come see you on when you
Speaker 3: come to Miami. And he said, yeah, you and.
Speaker 1: Your therapist are coming to one of my lives just together.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Is that crazier? Is that crazier or what is that?
Speaker 1: Is that like weird to like hang out with your therapist?
Speaker 3: So I started I started crying. What he said, yes,
Speaker 3: I thought so weird?
Speaker 1: You started crying. Why did you start crying? When he
Speaker 1: said yes, I.
Speaker 3: Got a little emotional, you know, because like I don't
Speaker 3: have friends, and you know.
Speaker 1: You don't have anything. Well, okay, well you have one friend.
Speaker 1: Your wife seems like your your wife seems like she
Speaker 1: likes you. I don't think she would live in a
Speaker 1: house with you. And get married to you if she
Speaker 1: didn't want to be your friends.
Speaker 3: Well, well, the well, the problem is that I would
Speaker 3: go with her, but she's about to have a baby,
Speaker 3: like next month, so she wouldn't really be able to
Speaker 3: come with me when you come to Miami.
Speaker 1: So why because she's too she's too pregnant to come.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not too pregnant. She just had the baby, and
Speaker 3: we don't have we don't really have anybody to watch them,
Speaker 3: watch watch the kids. You know, I have like two
Speaker 3: of the kids in the house right now too.
Speaker 1: That's nice for her to watch the kid while you
Speaker 1: go to see my show with your therapist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna reconfirm with him, hopefully, he says yes. Again.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I should be confirmed with
Speaker 3: him or not, but I just want to make sure
Speaker 3: it doesn't seem too weird?
Speaker 1: Is it okay? So, I mean, this is an interesting thing.
Speaker 1: Do you think like hanging out with your therapist socially
Speaker 1: would be weird?
Speaker 3: No? No, we're cool as fuck. The thing is like,
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's cool with him. I feel
Speaker 3: like it's fine, you know, but I don't know if
Speaker 3: that's like hip hop protocol you saw me. But it's
Speaker 3: not like I'm gonna slitch on him or nothing.
Speaker 1: Now do you have are you afraid that? Like you know,
Speaker 1: maybe like you and your therapist, you go to the show,
Speaker 1: maybe you get some drinks afterwards, maybe you get some
Speaker 1: drinks during and maybe you guys are at the bar
Speaker 1: and and you just you start going in on them, right,
Speaker 1: not going not like going in on them, but like
Speaker 1: you start start no, not hitting on him, not hitting
Speaker 1: I didn't say hitting, no, like you just start telling him.
Speaker 1: You start like you know, laying out your your your
Speaker 1: normal therapy stuff, and he's looking at you like, dude,
Speaker 1: you know, I.
Speaker 3: Would like to tell him more my my my real ship,
Speaker 3: because I don't want him to jot down my crazy ship.
Speaker 3: You know, I have like an addiction ship. You know,
Speaker 3: I don't want him writing down. So maybe he could
Speaker 3: help me, you know.
Speaker 1: So the idea would be that you go out with
Speaker 1: him socially and you are you trying to get some
Speaker 1: free therapy out of this or are you gonna keep it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, just talk to him and see what
Speaker 3: he thinks, you know, maybe can help me with that.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to I'm trying to hang out and
Speaker 3: see the geck though.
Speaker 1: What if you guys, what if you guys become like
Speaker 1: really good friends. What if you become such good friends
Speaker 1: that like you can't be he can't be your therapist
Speaker 1: anymore because.
Speaker 3: It's uh, I mean friends, friends talk to each other.
Speaker 3: You know, it's therapy itself.
Speaker 1: You know what did he say when you told him? Okay?
Speaker 3: So you hed hey, and then I started crying.
Speaker 1: So you said, hey, there's this fake gecko therapist guy he's.
Speaker 3: Doing a couple of weeks ago, I'm like, Yo, you
Speaker 3: should really listen to this guy. He's a gecko. Can
Speaker 3: he get here just like a therapist? And he's like,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I'm gonna check him out. And then a
Speaker 3: couple of weeks later, I'm like, yo, you know he's
Speaker 3: coming coming to Miami. He's going to go see him.
Speaker 3: And then he's like hell yeah, And I'm like, don't worry,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pay for everything I got you. And I
Speaker 3: at a little tearyd because I get emotional.
Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you get emotional for? Why
Speaker 1: why do you feel like this made yourself?
Speaker 3: I'm I don't know, I've been through a lot. You know,
Speaker 3: and I'm scary motherfucker. You know I still cry.
Speaker 1: You're a scary motherfucker.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oll at least people think I'm scary. People think
Speaker 3: I'm aggressive. I don't think I'm not. I'm just I'm Cuban.
Speaker 3: I'm loud. You feel me, like, I don't know. The
Speaker 3: way I talk, I guess is like a little too
Speaker 3: intimidating or I don't know. People think i'm People think
Speaker 3: I talk Mexican. I ain't know Mexican. I'm in Miami.
Speaker 3: There's how people in Miami talking for me?
Speaker 1: Are you Cuban?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm Cuban.
Speaker 1: Okay, there's a large Cuban population down there, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this is a Cuban city over here.
Speaker 1: Okay. So so people think that you're like a tough guy,
Speaker 1: but you're really a big soft.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I have a beard and you know, I'm
Speaker 3: like three hundred pounds, Like I don't look three hundred pounds,
Speaker 3: but I'm like big if I'm black, big bone. But
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm cool, man. I don't know why people
Speaker 3: fucking get so scared of me, Like my wife's family
Speaker 3: hates me, like shit, wild over here.
Speaker 1: Is your Why do you think your wife's family hates you.
Speaker 3: I don't know, they're fucking walking fuck. I try to
Speaker 3: like be nice to the family and ship, but like
Speaker 3: I started them, I started noticing them lying to me
Speaker 3: in my face, and I found out what the lives were,
Speaker 3: so I know they lied to me. I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: y y'all can just talk to me normal, like y'all
Speaker 3: show me some little kids like whyle y'are lying to me.
Speaker 3: Show me, but it's all good, the fake motherfuckers and
Speaker 3: let me not get involved with those types of people.
Speaker 3: There's no point, my wife warned me. But I was
Speaker 3: just trying to like rekindle her family, you know, So.
Speaker 1: Give me so, So give me a second here, Gabe,
Speaker 1: because there's I I have like seven you There's like
Speaker 1: six different things I want to Well, there's.
Speaker 3: One main thing I want to talk to you about
Speaker 3: because I went crazy today.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, sorright, So I mean there's a thousand
Speaker 1: I want to know about. I mean, obviously I only
Speaker 1: want to know about what you want to talk about
Speaker 1: on this podcast. But like you've brought up You've brought
Speaker 1: up many different You've brought up many different things that
Speaker 1: we could delve into.
Speaker 3: If you have one, to tell me where you want
Speaker 3: me to go from here.
Speaker 1: So if you have several different things that you want
Speaker 1: to If you haven't, let's start with you the thing
Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about, and then we can get
Speaker 1: into the other stuff. What was the thing that you want.
Speaker 3: To right right now? Just got off of a little bitch,
Speaker 3: not a bitch. I just started to night and I
Speaker 3: went nuts because I'm hearing shit you so me and
Speaker 3: I'm like, and I'm doing the whole little looking out
Speaker 3: the window and hearing ship in the bathroom, and I
Speaker 3: fucking ripped off the top of the bathroom and I
Speaker 3: started like putting the light and the shadows like I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm not going crazy, Like the shadows is black. I'm
Speaker 3: pointing the light, while the fuck is the light not
Speaker 3: going through the light something's blocking it. And then I
Speaker 3: point the light back on it. I can see through it.
Speaker 3: How the fuck is that even possible? Explain that to me?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 1: Okay? All right? Wait, So so you're you're ripping the
Speaker 1: tile off the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're like it's fantis And like I'm looking through
Speaker 3: the people to see if somebody is trying to look
Speaker 3: at me, you feel me and I turn on the
Speaker 3: light and I can't see nothing. It's just dark.
Speaker 1: So you're you're you're, you're paranoid that somebody might be
Speaker 1: might be watching somebody. That's what That's what you texted me.
Speaker 1: You texted me saying I have somebody sleeping and spying
Speaker 1: on me through the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this this happens every time, you know. I'm like,
Speaker 3: how the fuck? And like some Brando mouth calls got
Speaker 3: me called me today and I feel like he tapped
Speaker 3: into my phone somehow. I don't even know, because he
Speaker 3: knows I caught him this time, he told me, and
Speaker 3: I have it on camera. I have it on camera
Speaker 3: this time, Like, okay, I don't even Yeah, I got
Speaker 3: a slow down for me for a second game.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that somebody is spying on you?
Speaker 3: I don't know, because I'd be paranoid. People are trying
Speaker 3: to fuck with my life and destroy my life and ship,
Speaker 3: and I be doing things I'm not supposed to be doing,
Speaker 3: you know, so I get paranoid.
Speaker 1: All right, let me ask you this, uh, this guy
Speaker 1: that you're going to my show with, this therapist, if you.
Speaker 3: Talk to him, he does not know nothing about this?
Speaker 1: Wait? Did Wait? You haven't told him about this? This
Speaker 1: sounds sounds like something you should talk to your therapist? Wait?
Speaker 1: Why for me again? So that from again? Why do
Speaker 1: you not want to talk? Why do you not want
Speaker 1: to talk to your therapist? Why do you not want
Speaker 1: to talk to your therapist about.
Speaker 3: My children are gone? I don't think he'll do it,
Speaker 3: but you'll probably help me try to, like, you know,
Speaker 3: give me good advice. But still I'm too scared. I
Speaker 3: can't run the risk.
Speaker 1: Why would he call CPS on you?
Speaker 3: Are you allowed to do drugs in one of your kids?
Speaker 3: I don't think so?
Speaker 1: Hold on this is is this a drug thing? Or
Speaker 1: are you just paranoid?
Speaker 3: No? I'm I just going on my drugs. I hear things.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, are you? Are you by the way, you
Speaker 1: just so you know?
Speaker 3: You only if you don't want to just pop too
Speaker 3: right now? So I'm chilling, Okay, all right?
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, you don't have to tell
Speaker 1: me anything you don't want to tell me, But I like,
Speaker 1: if you want to talk about this weekend? Are you
Speaker 1: all right? What drug are you taking that makes you
Speaker 1: think that you're like ship?
Speaker 3: I don't really want to talk about what drugs I'm taking.
Speaker 3: It's embarrassing, okay, but they're real hard. Okay. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 3: going through a lot right now. I'm going through a
Speaker 3: core process right now. I have a stepson that I've
Speaker 3: had since one years old. He's six right now, where
Speaker 3: I'm taking him to school, He's at A's and B's, Like,
Speaker 3: I take him to school every single day, Like I'm
Speaker 3: I'm a functional addict. Youee me? I do it on
Speaker 3: the weekends. I don't do it every day. You know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I'm gucco, I'm good. Hm, But people
Speaker 3: take it the wrong way. You feel me like like,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just live my life, bro. So
Speaker 3: I'm happy. I'm happy, you know, and that's all that matters.
Speaker 1: Okay, huh right, So wait, I don't do it every weekend.
Speaker 3: I don't do it every week If you give me
Speaker 3: the yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So, so, Gabe, do you I mean tell me this?
Speaker 1: Do you.
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna play a little armchair therapist here right now?
Speaker 1: Do you Okay, when you take a bunch of drugs
Speaker 1: and you don't have to tell me what the drug is,
Speaker 1: but when you take a bunch of drugs and it
Speaker 1: makes you paranoid, and it makes you think that people
Speaker 1: are like it.
Speaker 3: I like it. I like it.
Speaker 1: I like it, okay, because I was gonna ask, wait, Gabe,
Speaker 1: gavee Gabe, let me, let me, let me finish my
Speaker 1: questions for a second. Does it make your life worse
Speaker 1: or better?
Speaker 3: It makes it worse, like when I'm well. It makes
Speaker 3: it worse when I'm coming off of it. But it's
Speaker 3: only for a little bit. I already learned how to
Speaker 3: get through it. People like go crazy because they want
Speaker 3: to keep doing. They want to keep doing it and
Speaker 3: want to keep doing. But I'm gonna go nuts like that,
Speaker 3: and I know that I'm not dumb, so I'm just,
Speaker 3: you know, stop and get the little crazyiness out of
Speaker 3: me for a little bit. You know, it's a little routine.
Speaker 3: You know, you gotta know how to fuck with it.
Speaker 1: Do you have any do you have any desire within
Speaker 1: you to to to quit?
Speaker 3: Yes? I do, okay, especially I'm about to have another baby,
Speaker 3: and I really like every time I come off of it,
Speaker 3: my son wakes up with a AI and I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know, it's the sweetest thing ever. And I can't
Speaker 3: look at him in the morning when I'm coming off
Speaker 3: of it, and I feel a little embarrassed. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm like, damn dough like it's a little hurtful. But
Speaker 3: if you know, I really don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: No more can I can? I can I offer an
Speaker 1: opinion to you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's up? Of course? Do you think I'm talking
Speaker 3: to you?
Speaker 1: Okay? Because I was. Here's what I want to Here's
Speaker 1: what I want to say to you, and I hope
Speaker 1: it resonates. Is that, Okay, I understand that you are
Speaker 1: You're afraid that if you go to like seek help
Speaker 1: for this stuff, that like you're gonna get punished for it,
Speaker 1: and like they're gonna like take already.
Speaker 3: Rehab and uh, it's an everyday battle the honey person
Speaker 3: that's gonna help don't Prince's gonna help me with myself? Man?
Speaker 1: Sure, But I guess what I'm stuck on is like,
Speaker 1: you have a you have this therapist, but yet you
Speaker 1: you don't want to talk to them about this issue.
Speaker 1: And this sounds like something that if you're going to
Speaker 1: be seeing a therapist, that you might want to talk
Speaker 1: to them about. And I guess I'm stuck on, like, yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm stuck on. I'm stuck on why you're why
Speaker 1: you don't want to because I don't. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't fucking know. I don't think that they're gonna like,
Speaker 1: I don't think they would take away your I mean,
Speaker 1: I fucking don't. I don't know. I'm a dude in
Speaker 1: a lizard, but I I I think. Okay, here's what
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. Here's what's gonna tell you is
Speaker 1: that if your desire is to be the best dad
Speaker 1: that you can be for your kid, you got you.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not. I'm not putting that into into
Speaker 1: in the trial. I'm not. I'm not questioning whether or
Speaker 1: not you're a great dad.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna show you my pictures, my kids.
Speaker 1: I just just but, Gabe, I'm just saying I think
Speaker 1: I don't think you should be afraid of trying to
Speaker 1: get help for this stuff. Yeah, you seem like a
Speaker 1: very sweet, nice guy who cares about his kids and
Speaker 1: his wife. Can I can I talk to your wife?
Speaker 3: Babe? You want to talk to you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Wait, did you know about all this? I don't want
Speaker 1: to put you on the spot because I was going
Speaker 1: to talk about him.
Speaker 5: I didn't know about all this, okay, so it seemed
Speaker 5: like a lot more hardcore than what he actually does.
Speaker 4: He doesn't do it around the kids ever. He's not
Speaker 4: on it.
Speaker 5: When he's like doing anything with the kids, Like this
Speaker 5: is like something that he does once every maybe two
Speaker 5: months or something, and then like it's the kids are
Speaker 5: in bed.
Speaker 3: Okay, hold on, hold on le forever, give me one record.
Speaker 3: You're you? Really? I watch you every day I go
Speaker 3: to sleep to you.
Speaker 1: Wait, let me can I can I talk? Can I
Speaker 1: talk back to your what's your name by the way, Oh,
Speaker 1: you can give me a fake name. I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: you Veronica. Veronica, Yeah, Veronica, Well Veronica, I guess. I mean,
Speaker 1: what do you think about all this? You seem like, uh,
Speaker 1: like as I don't know, man, Gabe's heart seems to
Speaker 1: be in the right place, and you know, you see
Speaker 1: you're you're you're his uh you're his greatest ally in
Speaker 1: his life. So I'm curious what you think about all this?
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I mean, do I want him to stop doing
Speaker 4: you know, the things that he does?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: Obviously, I mean maybe not obviously because I could be
Speaker 4: you know, a person that instigates him. But I'm definitely
Speaker 4: not a person that instigates him. But the fact that
Speaker 4: he doesn't do it as often as he made it
Speaker 4: seem like he does it is what like kind of
Speaker 4: gets me because he just he made himself sound so bad.
Speaker 4: He is not that bad, like I said, he doesn't
Speaker 4: maybe once, you know, like in a blue moon type
Speaker 4: of thing. And and and again. The kids are never
Speaker 4: around these situations. They're like asleep in bed away from.
Speaker 3: Hold on. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: He has epilepsy, and he forgets a lot of things.
Speaker 4: So he wants to say one more thing to you. Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: can you give me one second?
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 3: Another reason why like I want to quit too is
Speaker 3: like she says, I wait like a month or two,
Speaker 3: Like no, it's like a month a most because it's
Speaker 3: not it's not a go crazy. And while I while
Speaker 3: I'm waiting for that month, I'm like constantly thinking about it,
Speaker 3: like I have dreams about it, like it's crazy. It's
Speaker 3: in my dreams, like it's terrible, Like I really want
Speaker 3: to stop, like got me fucked up in my dreams
Speaker 3: and everything.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh hey, what's up? I mean, fuck? Fuck fuck
Speaker 1: fuck here? Well I mean just from talking to Gabe,
Speaker 1: like again, seems like a good hearted man, but he's
Speaker 1: all over He's all over the place, man.
Speaker 2: I mean, he.
Speaker 4: Definitely is, which is like one of the reasons why
Speaker 4: he's you know, he's in therapy and things, and and
Speaker 4: I definitely pushed him towards going to therapy so he
Speaker 4: can get help. He's had a lot of trauma in
Speaker 4: his life and that you know, I won't share because
Speaker 4: it's not my story to tell, but I know that
Speaker 4: it affects him and it and it, you know, uh
Speaker 4: makes him make the decisions I he makes. And one
Speaker 4: of the main reason is because he says like I like,
Speaker 4: he doesn't want to be as calls and all these things,
Speaker 4: Oh my, do you want.
Speaker 3: Me to finish?
Speaker 1: Hold? Let me okay, let me hold, let me finish,
Speaker 1: let me finish finished.
Speaker 4: Wait.
Speaker 3: Wait, because she's not giving me the right information. It's
Speaker 3: not trauma. I'm a fucking pervert and I'm addicted to
Speaker 3: fucking like feeling like you know, Okay, it's not no trauma.
Speaker 4: It's I think that's why I say it's not my story.
Speaker 4: It's not because I'm not in his brain. I don't
Speaker 4: know you know, like, Okay, that's why I got a
Speaker 4: trauma because I don't know like why you you know,
Speaker 4: these are the decisions that he makes, you know.
Speaker 1: Well okay, well you know, let's let's talk about this.
Speaker 1: How long have you guys been together for we've been together.
Speaker 4: It'll be five years this year.
Speaker 1: Okay, great? And hold on? And when did when did
Speaker 1: you have?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 1: You said you had your When do you give your
Speaker 1: first kid?
Speaker 4: I had my first kid a year before meeting him. Okay,
Speaker 4: with someone else, yeah, with someone else, with another person.
Speaker 4: I left him and I got kicked out of like
Speaker 4: my living situation and ended up with my husband. Like
Speaker 4: I said, I was going to spend the weekend at
Speaker 4: his house and I just never left and we got married,
Speaker 4: and you know, we had our first child together. He's little.
Speaker 4: What do you mean where wet?
Speaker 3: We met on Facebook?
Speaker 1: You guys?
Speaker 4: We we met on Facebook, but like it was through
Speaker 4: like a literal one one mutual friend that we had
Speaker 4: and not a friend that either of us talked to.
Speaker 4: Was just like a mutual you know, Facebook friends. And
Speaker 4: that's how our Facebook ended up, I guess, you know,
Speaker 4: being being connected, but that's how we met. And like
Speaker 4: we I guess we I don't know. I spilled all
Speaker 4: my beans to him, all my you know, crap and
Speaker 4: my own trauma. And he was like, come just I'll
Speaker 4: save you all. I'll be I'll be what you need
Speaker 4: me to be. And he has been. Absolutely He's been
Speaker 4: a super huge support system in my life. He's pushed
Speaker 4: me to be a better person. I mean, I came
Speaker 4: from being like this very heavy alcoholic to like, I
Speaker 4: don't I mean obviously right now, I don't drink. I'm pregnant,
Speaker 4: but you know, I can handle my one glass of
Speaker 4: wine and I can put it, you know, put the
Speaker 4: bottle away into that, you know. And and he's helped me,
Speaker 4: you know, raise my my oldest too. And and and
Speaker 4: to be honest, he's the most like doting dad I've
Speaker 4: ever met, like and seen, if that makes sense, like
Speaker 4: at least in my.
Speaker 3: Life, the.
Speaker 4: Most doting and amazing dad, Like he loves his kids,
Speaker 4: like I don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't think.
Speaker 1: We have I don't know what he's saying.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm going to repeat it. My situation right now
Speaker 4: is that I'm in a process, like it's just's right here, man, Okay,
Speaker 4: And I don't he I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I was sorry.
Speaker 4: I don't like talking about these things, and like you don't.
Speaker 1: Don't have you don't have to. I mean, look, man,
Speaker 1: we're on a you know, you don't have to talk
Speaker 1: about any anything you don't want to.
Speaker 2: No, we actually do.
Speaker 4: These are this is like one of the things that
Speaker 4: we've been dying to talk to you about. But like
Speaker 4: with my oldest I'm in a core process right now.
Speaker 4: His like bio Dad has been involved from the beginning,
Speaker 4: has not stopped being involved. But he never like it
Speaker 4: was like he you know, saw him on a weekend basis,
Speaker 4: and then randomly one day he showed up like with
Speaker 4: his girl to my place to drop off my kid
Speaker 4: and was like, oh, like you're abusing the kid and
Speaker 4: I want him one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: And like.
Speaker 4: Bio Dad and I had always had like really great
Speaker 4: communication and like this is like all you know, there's
Speaker 4: all like text messages, like we were we didn't really
Speaker 4: call each other, and and it got to the point
Speaker 4: where like when it came to like drop off, we
Speaker 4: would spend like an hour between me and my husband
Speaker 4: and himself just talking about whatever type of thing. Like
Speaker 4: I just to show you that we had a really
Speaker 4: we had a really good bond up until that point,
Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden he comes out saying.
Speaker 3: That, like, oh, I'm abusing the kid.
Speaker 4: He didn't take me to core, and that was the
Speaker 4: main reason why we started therapy.
Speaker 2: Well, that was the.
Speaker 4: Main reason why my husband had up started therapy because
Speaker 4: well I restarted therapy because I've been in therapy on
Speaker 4: and off. So that's his main concerns with like, you know,
Speaker 4: talking to the therapist about specific areas of his you know,
Speaker 4: like his you know, we're in this process of the
Speaker 4: guy trying to take my kid away from me.
Speaker 1: Oh, the bio dad is like being fucking weird.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, bio dad is like super weird. Like
Speaker 4: like we like my husband said, he takes the kids
Speaker 4: to school, he picks him up from school. If you
Speaker 4: see the amount of homework that we do, like I
Speaker 4: basically I basically like he does school work and homework,
Speaker 4: and then I basically homeschool him afterwards. Like we do
Speaker 4: a lot of like educational things in my household.
Speaker 1: Let's listen, Veronica, let me I think, Okay, I think look, man,
Speaker 1: I'm uh i uh, I think this situation might have
Speaker 1: gone a little bit over my my pay grade here,
Speaker 1: but I do want to say, but I do want
Speaker 1: to say just from my own opinion, because you guys
Speaker 1: are uh, you know. I I appreciate that you guys
Speaker 1: have been, you know, willing to talk about all of
Speaker 1: this stuff. I just want to say, from my own opinion,
Speaker 1: I believe from talking to both of you that both
Speaker 1: of you have a a a strong desire to be
Speaker 1: good parents and and be good good people. I believe that,
Speaker 1: like sincerely, from from both of you guys, and I
Speaker 1: just want to say that I hope that you know
Speaker 1: you're both able to get the help that you need.
Speaker 1: I don't I have no idea if it's a good
Speaker 1: idea for for your husband to be hanging out at
Speaker 1: the bar with this therapist. I have no fucking idea.
Speaker 1: But he I hope both of you are able to
Speaker 1: like okay, but I hope both of you are able
Speaker 1: to like find the help that you need. And and
Speaker 1: I would suggest you know, even and if you're afraid,
Speaker 1: I would suggest talking to your therapist about all this
Speaker 1: different stuff, because I believe if you guys do go
Speaker 1: out and get help, that you'll be able to get
Speaker 1: over these like issues that are are you know, in
Speaker 1: the way of your your guys is happiness. But but
Speaker 1: I I I I, God damn it, I believe in
Speaker 1: both of your good intentions, you know. So I'll say
Speaker 1: that that's that's the main thing I wanted to.
Speaker 3: Talk to me.
Speaker 1: I I I kind of, I will say, Gabe, I
Speaker 1: kind of I kind of want to leave it at
Speaker 1: that because I think I'm getting a little bit too
Speaker 1: it over my head here. But is there is there
Speaker 1: anything else that? And also I'll say, let me let me,
Speaker 1: let me come say hi in Miami. Man. We can
Speaker 1: we can, we can talk, Okay? Cool? Is there anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the
Speaker 1: computer before.
Speaker 4: Chat? It was good?
Speaker 3: Uh? I hope you guys fuck with me. Hopefully my
Speaker 3: dreams come true and I might start streaming. Not that
Speaker 3: that's pretty much. It help everybody in the chat as
Speaker 3: a bluss day and you know, and the dreams come
Speaker 3: true and they can be happy with their lives.
Speaker 1: Thanks Gabe, and thank you Veronic. I appreciate you guys,
Speaker 1: and good luck to you Veronica. Yeah alright, man, I
Speaker 1: don't know, man. Yeah, that was that that that did
Speaker 1: get a little bit over my over my pay grade
Speaker 1: for a second. But I met, I met everything. I
Speaker 1: fucking met what every everything that I said. I believed
Speaker 1: both of them. Uh that like they they love their
Speaker 1: children and that they like are are good people with
Speaker 1: good intentions. And I understand, I guess I understand where
Speaker 1: this dude's like fear is coming from from, like talking
Speaker 1: to a motherfucker about like all this stuff. But I mean,
Speaker 1: got you gotta, you know you gotta. I'm sure I'll
Speaker 1: see him in Miami. It'll be I'm so I'm so
Speaker 1: curious if if he actually shows up with his therapist
Speaker 1: and there's gonna be a moment where I'm just standing
Speaker 1: with this dude and his therapist and being like, what's
Speaker 1: going on? Man? But yeah, uh good, uh good, good
Speaker 1: luck to both of those guys, and uh good luck
Speaker 1: to the children, good luck to all the children of
Speaker 1: the world. And uh, I think I think that's it
Speaker 1: really goes on.
Speaker 4: The line thinking phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to his teaching you in the mid of
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 4: But he's not really an expert