WEBVTT - The Melrose Minute

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<v Speaker 1>Still the Place with Laura Layton, Courtney Thorne Smith.

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<v Speaker 2>And Daphne's Aniga and iHeartRadio podcast. Hello ladies, Hi you guys.

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<v Speaker 3>Happy Melrose Minute, Happy Melrose Minute.

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<v Speaker 2>Day. Like to do these once a week or so,

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<v Speaker 2>and yeah, for this one, I posted a picture on

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<v Speaker 2>Instagram and our producer over at iHeart noticed what feedback

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<v Speaker 2>at god and I got more comments on that than

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<v Speaker 2>almost anything else I've posted. I couldn't even reply to

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<v Speaker 2>all of them.

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<v Speaker 3>But it was a post.

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<v Speaker 2>I was going through my garage and sorting through old

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<v Speaker 2>pictures and things and boxes, and I found an old

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<v Speaker 2>photo from a photo shoot for a magazine and it was,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, in red that red pen crayon pen the

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<v Speaker 2>marks where they were going to smooth fix, take out things,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and it was really the image of it was,

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<v Speaker 2>uh it took. It was really startling just to see that,

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<v Speaker 2>Like for me, as I found it, I was like wow,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean wow, you know, and it's a normal process

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<v Speaker 2>that photographers and editors do for their magazines and things.

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<v Speaker 2>And of course our culture today is completely used to

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<v Speaker 2>photoshops and filters and smoothing and all of that. But

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of the comments I got were you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you didn't need it and things and uh,

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<v Speaker 2>but they did it anyway. A lot of this seemed

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<v Speaker 2>to be on the hair, but there were things about

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<v Speaker 2>the face smoothed this out and smooth that. So I

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<v Speaker 2>think we just wanted to bring up like our experiences

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<v Speaker 2>with different photoshoots and how it makes us feel.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, it's also sort of crazy that you have that

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<v Speaker 4>daph with like that. I'm assuming they're the photographer's markings.

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<v Speaker 4>They're not probably yours or your representatives or somebody like

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<v Speaker 4>on the photography side saying oh this needs to be

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<v Speaker 4>fixed or whatever. But somehow that version ended up in

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<v Speaker 4>your hands, like you get to see behind that sort

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<v Speaker 4>of curtain of what they wanted to fix of that photo.

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<v Speaker 4>And I just think that's an unusual look for you

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<v Speaker 4>to be able to see it, and that's exceptional and shocking.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's normally to do it behind the scenes. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have to know about it. And also you

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<v Speaker 1>made a point in your post that it was for

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<v Speaker 1>a natural photo shoot, like it was kind of you

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<v Speaker 1>on the beach being natural. It wasn't like it was

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<v Speaker 1>high glamour so to go in and fix or something

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<v Speaker 1>like that. It's fascinating. I know, so we don't look

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<v Speaker 1>like our photos.

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<v Speaker 3>I was starting.

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<v Speaker 1>I was laughing with a girlfriend the other day because

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<v Speaker 1>and so it's funny that you talk about this right now.

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<v Speaker 1>So many years ago I had a contract with Alme Cosmetics,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was on a girl's trip in Palm Springs

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<v Speaker 1>and we walked into a CVS and there was this

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<v Speaker 1>big display of my all may Ad, and my girlfriend's like, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that's amazing. You look so beautiful, be beat. I would

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<v Speaker 1>not have recognized you. That doesn't look like you at all.

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<v Speaker 1>That I would not have known that, Like I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I kept saying it. I mean, honestly, I wouldn't even know.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like that person is beautiful, doesn't look at

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<v Speaker 1>all like our friend who's standing next to us.

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<v Speaker 3>It was so strange as it was.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like it was it was almost like a

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<v Speaker 1>CGI version of me. They did so much air brushing.

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<v Speaker 3>It was a completely smoothed.

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<v Speaker 1>Out version with no expression lines, as if expression lines

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<v Speaker 1>are something to be ashamed of.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, it's so interesting like that a skincare, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>like is there. That's what they're trying to sell, is

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<v Speaker 4>like it will make you absolutely flawless and an unattainable, flawless, unreal.

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<v Speaker 2>And we don't know if the product that they're selling

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<v Speaker 2>and asking you to buy does a damn thing because

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<v Speaker 2>you don't come with photoshop and you're not a two

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<v Speaker 2>dimensional thing in a magazine or you know, pictures standing there.

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<v Speaker 2>So will that they had all this, you know, fixed

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<v Speaker 2>it up with them with tricks. That's how they fixed

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<v Speaker 2>it up or fixed it up.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't even imagine what they did because literally you'd

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<v Speaker 1>kind of.

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<v Speaker 3>Go, wouldn't I wouldn't have recognized me.

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<v Speaker 1>It didn't look like me, like they hire me to

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<v Speaker 1>do it and then do so much you're touching it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't even look like me anymore. So I guess they

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<v Speaker 1>wanted like the idea of me not of course.

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<v Speaker 4>Well don't you think that's sort of upsetting to know

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<v Speaker 4>that everybody has that technology now on their phones and

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<v Speaker 4>they're using it in that way like people, They have

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<v Speaker 4>that technology right there.

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<v Speaker 3>To go we all do.

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<v Speaker 4>I want to look different than they actually do, and

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<v Speaker 4>I can do that for every picture that I share, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>and just make myself something that I'm not. It's just

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<v Speaker 4>so interesting that because you can, you will and well.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to keep up because now the environment is

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<v Speaker 2>if you're the only person that doesn't, you will stand out.

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<v Speaker 2>I will I smooth things like age spots and things, know,

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<v Speaker 2>because if I don't. I So I posted that and

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<v Speaker 2>then I remember I was also smoothing something like after that,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, it's for an actress. It's especially

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<v Speaker 2>it's such a dichotomy. It's the two sides of one coin.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I don't want to be I still want to

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<v Speaker 2>work and I still want to be seen as you know,

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<v Speaker 2>youthful and beautiful. But the but also the tragedy is

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<v Speaker 2>that the standard is not real. There's nothing real and

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<v Speaker 2>about the standard of beauty out there. It's just it's

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<v Speaker 2>just not real. So they're either going to fix it

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<v Speaker 2>in the with the camera or with your makeup or

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<v Speaker 2>with the whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>You'll fix it.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to because you will look totally alien if

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<v Speaker 2>none of.

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<v Speaker 3>Us did anything.

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<v Speaker 4>Did you guys see substance?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes? I haven't.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Well oh so hard to watch but incredible. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>But like the whole idea that like just not being

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<v Speaker 4>okay with the aging, and that just leads her to

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<v Speaker 4>speaking of alien, I mean, ends her life over this

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<v Speaker 4>need for youth and beauty and oh, it's just devastating,

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<v Speaker 4>but also like just that the Oscars just passed right,

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<v Speaker 4>Like we have all these actors going on red carpets

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<v Speaker 4>where you can't like retite and like that pressure to

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<v Speaker 4>have everything be flawless. But it's live, and you know

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<v Speaker 4>that that is such a different than photography, like just

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<v Speaker 4>because you can in photography. I guess that's that's why

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<v Speaker 4>it's done. It's like, oh, I mean, we're trying to

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<v Speaker 4>fix everything, but you can't do that on a red carpet.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, well they do another organized everyone's scrutinized. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I just feel like we have to have all admit

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<v Speaker 2>and say that that's the culture. It's deep, and it's old,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's I mean, it's historical, right, it's on the

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<v Speaker 2>red carpet, it's it's everywhere. You know. It's one thing

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<v Speaker 2>for young people say oh, never do this or that,

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<v Speaker 2>but then wait till you're fifty sixty whatever. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think i've you know, I remember when I turned forty,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, okay, now I can just get

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<v Speaker 2>the parts and be me. Then they put me in

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<v Speaker 2>a freaking bathing suit and so and I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a mom you know in the show and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>forty whatever, and I was like, aren't these days over?

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<v Speaker 2>I remember thinking that, like, uh, you know, and uh

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<v Speaker 2>so I just feel like it's just this pressure that's there,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just think it's interesting how we all, in

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<v Speaker 2>different situations, have we you know, have to decide how

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<v Speaker 2>to deal with it. And a lot of people said

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<v Speaker 2>on that post, you know, oh, thanks for posting it,

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<v Speaker 2>because you're saying, you're showing what the pressure is that

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<v Speaker 2>our daughters deal with, that we deal with because we

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<v Speaker 2>only see the final product the airbrush.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you remember when Jamie Lee Curtis did that thing,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to say in Self magazine where she had

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<v Speaker 1>the like her glam and her not with her tummy

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<v Speaker 1>out and thinking how casual she was. That was really impactly.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so impressed with her about that story, and because

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<v Speaker 1>it's true.

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<v Speaker 4>She and pam Anderson just had you know, that whole

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<v Speaker 4>they did that movie together in Pamela Anderson did the

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<v Speaker 4>same sort of thing the Last Show Girl, and you

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<v Speaker 4>know she's she went on a red carpet without makeup.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she still does. I really admire that. That's just

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<v Speaker 1>really impressive.

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<v Speaker 4>Empowered to you know, say this is the truth and

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<v Speaker 4>this is whyam she's gorgeous.

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<v Speaker 1>The girlfriend of mine just turned sixty and someone said,

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<v Speaker 1>how was that for you? And she said, it's a privilege.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a privilege to be sixty. A lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>don't make it to sixty, and we get to decide

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<v Speaker 1>what we believe or not, like I am. We were

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<v Speaker 1>talking about this last week on the podcast, which is

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<v Speaker 1>I keep saying, Alison seems so mean and intense, but

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<v Speaker 1>I really took things so seriously then. I'm so much

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<v Speaker 1>lighter now. I am so much happier now. My life

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<v Speaker 1>feels so much better to me. I really do wear

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<v Speaker 1>a life like a loose shirt now at my age,

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<v Speaker 1>at fifty seven, I didn't at twenty four, Like I may.

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<v Speaker 3>Have looked better to society.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel so much better now, and that's really important

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<v Speaker 1>to keep talking about that because if it was just

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<v Speaker 1>based on if my worth was my age, or my

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<v Speaker 1>weight or my.

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<v Speaker 3>This, then your lost.

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<v Speaker 1>Cause like you have to as you get older, start

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<v Speaker 1>to realize what really matters, and not that I don't

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<v Speaker 1>still color my hair and do what I can to

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<v Speaker 1>keep looking good, but it's really important to remember that

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<v Speaker 1>what I feel is by far more important.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And I think just to have the tools to

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<v Speaker 4>be able to do it is to to have to decide, like,

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<v Speaker 4>where's the line? How much you know? Am I comfortable

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<v Speaker 4>changing about myself to present? And do I need to

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<v Speaker 4>at all? And everybody has to decide that for themselves

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<v Speaker 4>because they've now got the tools in their hands, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>with where.

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<v Speaker 2>And when and how, and you know, because every situation

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<v Speaker 2>is different, right and like on the same the same.

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<v Speaker 2>And I love what Pam Anderson's doing. It's so lovely

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<v Speaker 2>to see her soft side because years decades I just wondered, like,

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<v Speaker 2>what does that feel like to her to be her?

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<v Speaker 2>To be that caricature that she was that she now

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<v Speaker 2>says she was being, And she's so honest about everything.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like, oh, that's so cool.

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<v Speaker 2>And it makes gives you permission in your mind to

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<v Speaker 2>think like that's allowable. The same time, I also think

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<v Speaker 2>it's so cool that Dolly Pardon is exactly who she

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<v Speaker 2>is with all of her you know, plastic surgery and

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<v Speaker 2>wigs and this and that, and she's so she's so

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<v Speaker 2>authentic in herself and so yes, I love how they

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<v Speaker 2>both express themselves. It's so exciting to me because we

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<v Speaker 2>don't all have to look the same and do nothing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. But but I just want to be feel

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<v Speaker 2>confident and free enough to be myself whatever I choose

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<v Speaker 2>to say or do. So I think that gives women

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<v Speaker 2>just the freedom to freaking choose and pick. And I

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<v Speaker 2>will never never be lost on me how an older

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<v Speaker 2>guy can walk into the room and you're like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>not only does he have more wrinkles than like a

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<v Speaker 2>shitsu a dog, you know, but he doesn't even feel

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<v Speaker 2>like he's old because society doesn't tell him he is.

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<v Speaker 3>He's scruffy.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's also that's our stuff, Like we don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to buy into it as much as we do. Right, So,

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<v Speaker 1>not every woman who's aging feels bad about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Some do.

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<v Speaker 1>Now we're in the public eye, it adds another element,

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<v Speaker 1>but not everybody feels bad. Like Emma Thompson is so

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<v Speaker 1>great and open about this, right, I mean, I promise

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<v Speaker 1>you a thousand things more to maintain my looks, and

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<v Speaker 1>Emma Thompson does just because she's like, this is who

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<v Speaker 1>I am and I love it. Like she talked about

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<v Speaker 1>when she goes any minute, I spend thinking about the

0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:41.760
<v Speaker 1>size of my ass is a minute wasted that I'm

0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:43.959
<v Speaker 1>not writing and creating and living my life.

0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.240
<v Speaker 3>And I just think that's right. That's a constant.

0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 1>Reminder of where do I want to put my energy?

0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.160
<v Speaker 1>And again, like I want to look good, I put time,

0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.760
<v Speaker 1>energy and money into looking good. But I also have

0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.200
<v Speaker 1>the understanding that how I feel is much more important

0:11:58.240 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>and I can't let that get out of balance.

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 4>And also your post daff was a reminder to everyone,

0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.880
<v Speaker 4>especially young girls. What you see in a magazine, it's

0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.240
<v Speaker 4>not real. Look at how much has been changed. It's

0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.040
<v Speaker 4>not real. And so to compare yourself or to try

0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:14.079
<v Speaker 4>to say, oh, I'm not good enough, if it's not that,

0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 4>you just look at all the things that aren't real

0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.840
<v Speaker 4>about it, and it's that's also really important reminder.

0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, and yeah, as to the point you guys made earlier,

0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:22.679
<v Speaker 1>people can do it on Instagram.

0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 3>Instagram isn't real.

0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.440
<v Speaker 1>That's why we love when go photo what is it called,

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 1>uh not photo fail? But when you shop photoshop fail,

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.240
<v Speaker 1>we love it because it's an acknowledgment of this isn't real,

0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Like everybody's doing it.

0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:36.920
<v Speaker 3>It's a strange thing.

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>We're all sort of living in real life CGI and

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:43.240
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you, Laura, especially for young women to

0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 1>compare their actual image with a fabricated image is so unhealthy.

0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:50.160
<v Speaker 1>We had magazines, they have it. We'd had to pick

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.040
<v Speaker 1>up a magazine. They have it in their hand all

0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:53.599
<v Speaker 1>the time, on their phone.

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:55.160
<v Speaker 3>They're bombarded with it.

0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.960
<v Speaker 1>So I love that we're talking about this, and I

0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 1>love that, as you said, daf it's so true, there

0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 1>are different images of women that we can look at,

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.280
<v Speaker 1>and you get to choose your role models and say

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:07.640
<v Speaker 1>that's why I want to be. I'm going to work

0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:10.160
<v Speaker 1>towards being like that person or for me like I

0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.600
<v Speaker 1>want to be Emma Thompson. I might be more Dolly Parton,

0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 1>but you know, it's like I can choose, I can

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:19.120
<v Speaker 1>go it's all okay, and get to I get to

0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:20.839
<v Speaker 1>admire so many different women.

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.800
<v Speaker 2>I think the key that you said, Courtney is and

0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.959
<v Speaker 2>we can close on this maybe, is that don't focus

0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:32.240
<v Speaker 2>on that as your presentation and your appearances who I am.

0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 3>It's being creative.

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.040
<v Speaker 2>It's like Emma Thompson said, any moment and we're talking

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:40.000
<v Speaker 2>not minutes, we're talking hours. At girls spends worrying about

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.600
<v Speaker 2>this and all the things I do that you're not

0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.960
<v Speaker 2>being creative because life is short and life is fleeting,

0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:48.920
<v Speaker 2>and life you don't want to waste it not being creative.

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.240
<v Speaker 2>And I feel like the more creative I am, like

0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:56.160
<v Speaker 2>when we get into developing stuff or anything, I forget

0:13:56.200 --> 0:14:00.319
<v Speaker 2>about it. Yeah, what I look like and everything. Oh oh,

0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 2>it kind of fades because I'm in the moment of

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.199
<v Speaker 2>being creative and feeling alive.

0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:06.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when I'm writing all day, I end the day

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 1>and I didn't think one second about how I looked.

0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't think one second about someone looking at me

0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.920
<v Speaker 1>because I'm in my crative mode, Laura, nor did I shower,

0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 1>But totally I'm not presenting anything. I'm actually living in

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.200
<v Speaker 1>that great place of creating.

0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:27.280
<v Speaker 2>Say creative women, I say, and young people, young girls,

0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:31.040
<v Speaker 2>because this world gives men more encouragement to be creative,

0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Like what have you done? What do you got her?

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Pitch us, let's see if we want to buy it?

0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 2>And women, I just kind of need to put their

0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:40.160
<v Speaker 2>foot in that room, whether it's the yours open or not.

0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Don't let your creativity be what you can do to

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.640
<v Speaker 1>attract a man. What are you doing for yourself? What

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 1>are you bringing.

0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 3>To the world.

0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 4>And on that note, yes, I love you ladies, I

0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:54.840
<v Speaker 4>love you guys, love God and favorite people. Yeah, I

0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.680
<v Speaker 4>always going to see you soon