Speaker 1: Still the Place with Laura Layton, Courtney Thorne Smith.
Speaker 2: And Daphne's Aniga and iHeartRadio podcast. Hello ladies, Hi you guys.
Speaker 3: Happy Melrose Minute, Happy Melrose Minute.
Speaker 2: Day. Like to do these once a week or so,
Speaker 2: and yeah, for this one, I posted a picture on
Speaker 2: Instagram and our producer over at iHeart noticed what feedback
Speaker 2: at god and I got more comments on that than
Speaker 2: almost anything else I've posted. I couldn't even reply to
Speaker 2: all of them.
Speaker 3: But it was a post.
Speaker 2: I was going through my garage and sorting through old
Speaker 2: pictures and things and boxes, and I found an old
Speaker 2: photo from a photo shoot for a magazine and it was,
Speaker 2: you know, in red that red pen crayon pen the
Speaker 2: marks where they were going to smooth fix, take out things,
Speaker 2: you know, and it was really the image of it was,
Speaker 2: uh it took. It was really startling just to see that,
Speaker 2: Like for me, as I found it, I was like wow,
Speaker 2: I mean wow, you know, and it's a normal process
Speaker 2: that photographers and editors do for their magazines and things.
Speaker 2: And of course our culture today is completely used to
Speaker 2: photoshops and filters and smoothing and all of that. But
Speaker 2: a lot of the comments I got were you know,
Speaker 2: you know, you didn't need it and things and uh,
Speaker 2: but they did it anyway. A lot of this seemed
Speaker 2: to be on the hair, but there were things about
Speaker 2: the face smoothed this out and smooth that. So I
Speaker 2: think we just wanted to bring up like our experiences
Speaker 2: with different photoshoots and how it makes us feel.
Speaker 3: Maybe.
Speaker 4: Well, it's also sort of crazy that you have that
Speaker 4: daph with like that. I'm assuming they're the photographer's markings.
Speaker 4: They're not probably yours or your representatives or somebody like
Speaker 4: on the photography side saying oh this needs to be
Speaker 4: fixed or whatever. But somehow that version ended up in
Speaker 4: your hands, like you get to see behind that sort
Speaker 4: of curtain of what they wanted to fix of that photo.
Speaker 4: And I just think that's an unusual look for you
Speaker 4: to be able to see it, and that's exceptional and shocking.
Speaker 1: It's it's normally to do it behind the scenes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have to know about it. And also you
Speaker 1: made a point in your post that it was for
Speaker 1: a natural photo shoot, like it was kind of you
Speaker 1: on the beach being natural. It wasn't like it was
Speaker 1: high glamour so to go in and fix or something
Speaker 1: like that. It's fascinating. I know, so we don't look
Speaker 1: like our photos.
Speaker 3: I was starting.
Speaker 1: I was laughing with a girlfriend the other day because
Speaker 1: and so it's funny that you talk about this right now.
Speaker 1: So many years ago I had a contract with Alme Cosmetics,
Speaker 1: and I was on a girl's trip in Palm Springs
Speaker 1: and we walked into a CVS and there was this
Speaker 1: big display of my all may Ad, and my girlfriend's like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. You look so beautiful, be beat. I would
Speaker 1: not have recognized you. That doesn't look like you at all.
Speaker 1: That I would not have known that, Like I know,
Speaker 1: I kept saying it. I mean, honestly, I wouldn't even know.
Speaker 1: It was like that person is beautiful, doesn't look at
Speaker 1: all like our friend who's standing next to us.
Speaker 3: It was so strange as it was.
Speaker 1: It was like it was it was almost like a
Speaker 1: CGI version of me. They did so much air brushing.
Speaker 3: It was a completely smoothed.
Speaker 1: Out version with no expression lines, as if expression lines
Speaker 1: are something to be ashamed of.
Speaker 4: Well, it's so interesting like that a skincare, you know,
Speaker 4: like is there. That's what they're trying to sell, is
Speaker 4: like it will make you absolutely flawless and an unattainable, flawless, unreal.
Speaker 2: And we don't know if the product that they're selling
Speaker 2: and asking you to buy does a damn thing because
Speaker 2: you don't come with photoshop and you're not a two
Speaker 2: dimensional thing in a magazine or you know, pictures standing there.
Speaker 2: So will that they had all this, you know, fixed
Speaker 2: it up with them with tricks. That's how they fixed
Speaker 2: it up or fixed it up.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine what they did because literally you'd
Speaker 1: kind of.
Speaker 3: Go, wouldn't I wouldn't have recognized me.
Speaker 1: It didn't look like me, like they hire me to
Speaker 1: do it and then do so much you're touching it
Speaker 1: doesn't even look like me anymore. So I guess they
Speaker 1: wanted like the idea of me not of course.
Speaker 4: Well don't you think that's sort of upsetting to know
Speaker 4: that everybody has that technology now on their phones and
Speaker 4: they're using it in that way like people, They have
Speaker 4: that technology right there.
Speaker 3: To go we all do.
Speaker 4: I want to look different than they actually do, and
Speaker 4: I can do that for every picture that I share, Yeah,
Speaker 4: and just make myself something that I'm not. It's just
Speaker 4: so interesting that because you can, you will and well.
Speaker 2: You have to keep up because now the environment is
Speaker 2: if you're the only person that doesn't, you will stand out.
Speaker 2: I will I smooth things like age spots and things, know,
Speaker 2: because if I don't. I So I posted that and
Speaker 2: then I remember I was also smoothing something like after that,
Speaker 2: and I was like, it's for an actress. It's especially
Speaker 2: it's such a dichotomy. It's the two sides of one coin.
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to be I still want to
Speaker 2: work and I still want to be seen as you know,
Speaker 2: youthful and beautiful. But the but also the tragedy is
Speaker 2: that the standard is not real. There's nothing real and
Speaker 2: about the standard of beauty out there. It's just it's
Speaker 2: just not real. So they're either going to fix it
Speaker 2: in the with the camera or with your makeup or
Speaker 2: with the whatever.
Speaker 3: You'll fix it.
Speaker 2: You have to because you will look totally alien if
Speaker 2: none of.
Speaker 3: Us did anything.
Speaker 4: Did you guys see substance?
Speaker 3: Yes? I haven't.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Well oh so hard to watch but incredible. Yeah,
Speaker 4: But like the whole idea that like just not being
Speaker 4: okay with the aging, and that just leads her to
Speaker 4: speaking of alien, I mean, ends her life over this
Speaker 4: need for youth and beauty and oh, it's just devastating,
Speaker 4: but also like just that the Oscars just passed right,
Speaker 4: Like we have all these actors going on red carpets
Speaker 4: where you can't like retite and like that pressure to
Speaker 4: have everything be flawless. But it's live, and you know
Speaker 4: that that is such a different than photography, like just
Speaker 4: because you can in photography. I guess that's that's why
Speaker 4: it's done. It's like, oh, I mean, we're trying to
Speaker 4: fix everything, but you can't do that on a red carpet.
Speaker 2: You know, well they do another organized everyone's scrutinized. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just feel like we have to have all admit
Speaker 2: and say that that's the culture. It's deep, and it's old,
Speaker 2: and it's I mean, it's historical, right, it's on the
Speaker 2: red carpet, it's it's everywhere. You know. It's one thing
Speaker 2: for young people say oh, never do this or that,
Speaker 2: but then wait till you're fifty sixty whatever. And I
Speaker 2: think i've you know, I remember when I turned forty,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, now I can just get
Speaker 2: the parts and be me. Then they put me in
Speaker 2: a freaking bathing suit and so and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm a mom you know in the show and I'm
Speaker 2: forty whatever, and I was like, aren't these days over?
Speaker 2: I remember thinking that, like, uh, you know, and uh
Speaker 2: so I just feel like it's just this pressure that's there,
Speaker 2: and I just think it's interesting how we all, in
Speaker 2: different situations, have we you know, have to decide how
Speaker 2: to deal with it. And a lot of people said
Speaker 2: on that post, you know, oh, thanks for posting it,
Speaker 2: because you're saying, you're showing what the pressure is that
Speaker 2: our daughters deal with, that we deal with because we
Speaker 2: only see the final product the airbrush.
Speaker 1: Do you remember when Jamie Lee Curtis did that thing,
Speaker 1: I want to say in Self magazine where she had
Speaker 1: the like her glam and her not with her tummy
Speaker 1: out and thinking how casual she was. That was really impactly.
Speaker 1: I'm so impressed with her about that story, and because
Speaker 1: it's true.
Speaker 4: She and pam Anderson just had you know, that whole
Speaker 4: they did that movie together in Pamela Anderson did the
Speaker 4: same sort of thing the Last Show Girl, and you
Speaker 4: know she's she went on a red carpet without makeup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she still does. I really admire that. That's just
Speaker 1: really impressive.
Speaker 4: Empowered to you know, say this is the truth and
Speaker 4: this is whyam she's gorgeous.
Speaker 1: The girlfriend of mine just turned sixty and someone said,
Speaker 1: how was that for you? And she said, it's a privilege.
Speaker 1: It's a privilege to be sixty. A lot of people
Speaker 1: don't make it to sixty, and we get to decide
Speaker 1: what we believe or not, like I am. We were
Speaker 1: talking about this last week on the podcast, which is
Speaker 1: I keep saying, Alison seems so mean and intense, but
Speaker 1: I really took things so seriously then. I'm so much
Speaker 1: lighter now. I am so much happier now. My life
Speaker 1: feels so much better to me. I really do wear
Speaker 1: a life like a loose shirt now at my age,
Speaker 1: at fifty seven, I didn't at twenty four, Like I may.
Speaker 3: Have looked better to society.
Speaker 1: I feel so much better now, and that's really important
Speaker 1: to keep talking about that because if it was just
Speaker 1: based on if my worth was my age, or my
Speaker 1: weight or my.
Speaker 3: This, then your lost.
Speaker 1: Cause like you have to as you get older, start
Speaker 1: to realize what really matters, and not that I don't
Speaker 1: still color my hair and do what I can to
Speaker 1: keep looking good, but it's really important to remember that
Speaker 1: what I feel is by far more important.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think just to have the tools to
Speaker 4: be able to do it is to to have to decide, like,
Speaker 4: where's the line? How much you know? Am I comfortable
Speaker 4: changing about myself to present? And do I need to
Speaker 4: at all? And everybody has to decide that for themselves
Speaker 4: because they've now got the tools in their hands, you know,
Speaker 4: with where.
Speaker 2: And when and how, and you know, because every situation
Speaker 2: is different, right and like on the same the same.
Speaker 2: And I love what Pam Anderson's doing. It's so lovely
Speaker 2: to see her soft side because years decades I just wondered, like,
Speaker 2: what does that feel like to her to be her?
Speaker 2: To be that caricature that she was that she now
Speaker 2: says she was being, And she's so honest about everything.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, that's so cool.
Speaker 2: And it makes gives you permission in your mind to
Speaker 2: think like that's allowable. The same time, I also think
Speaker 2: it's so cool that Dolly Pardon is exactly who she
Speaker 2: is with all of her you know, plastic surgery and
Speaker 2: wigs and this and that, and she's so she's so
Speaker 2: authentic in herself and so yes, I love how they
Speaker 2: both express themselves. It's so exciting to me because we
Speaker 2: don't all have to look the same and do nothing,
Speaker 2: you know. But but I just want to be feel
Speaker 2: confident and free enough to be myself whatever I choose
Speaker 2: to say or do. So I think that gives women
Speaker 2: just the freedom to freaking choose and pick. And I
Speaker 2: will never never be lost on me how an older
Speaker 2: guy can walk into the room and you're like, wow,
Speaker 2: not only does he have more wrinkles than like a
Speaker 2: shitsu a dog, you know, but he doesn't even feel
Speaker 2: like he's old because society doesn't tell him he is.
Speaker 3: He's scruffy.
Speaker 1: But that's also that's our stuff, Like we don't have
Speaker 1: to buy into it as much as we do. Right, So,
Speaker 1: not every woman who's aging feels bad about it.
Speaker 3: Some do.
Speaker 1: Now we're in the public eye, it adds another element,
Speaker 1: but not everybody feels bad. Like Emma Thompson is so
Speaker 1: great and open about this, right, I mean, I promise
Speaker 1: you a thousand things more to maintain my looks, and
Speaker 1: Emma Thompson does just because she's like, this is who
Speaker 1: I am and I love it. Like she talked about
Speaker 1: when she goes any minute, I spend thinking about the
Speaker 1: size of my ass is a minute wasted that I'm
Speaker 1: not writing and creating and living my life.
Speaker 3: And I just think that's right. That's a constant.
Speaker 1: Reminder of where do I want to put my energy?
Speaker 1: And again, like I want to look good, I put time,
Speaker 1: energy and money into looking good. But I also have
Speaker 1: the understanding that how I feel is much more important
Speaker 1: and I can't let that get out of balance.
Speaker 4: And also your post daff was a reminder to everyone,
Speaker 4: especially young girls. What you see in a magazine, it's
Speaker 4: not real. Look at how much has been changed. It's
Speaker 4: not real. And so to compare yourself or to try
Speaker 4: to say, oh, I'm not good enough, if it's not that,
Speaker 4: you just look at all the things that aren't real
Speaker 4: about it, and it's that's also really important reminder.
Speaker 1: Well, and yeah, as to the point you guys made earlier,
Speaker 1: people can do it on Instagram.
Speaker 3: Instagram isn't real.
Speaker 1: That's why we love when go photo what is it called,
Speaker 1: uh not photo fail? But when you shop photoshop fail,
Speaker 1: we love it because it's an acknowledgment of this isn't real,
Speaker 1: Like everybody's doing it.
Speaker 3: It's a strange thing.
Speaker 1: We're all sort of living in real life CGI and
Speaker 1: I agree with you, Laura, especially for young women to
Speaker 1: compare their actual image with a fabricated image is so unhealthy.
Speaker 1: We had magazines, they have it. We'd had to pick
Speaker 1: up a magazine. They have it in their hand all
Speaker 1: the time, on their phone.
Speaker 3: They're bombarded with it.
Speaker 1: So I love that we're talking about this, and I
Speaker 1: love that, as you said, daf it's so true, there
Speaker 1: are different images of women that we can look at,
Speaker 1: and you get to choose your role models and say
Speaker 1: that's why I want to be. I'm going to work
Speaker 1: towards being like that person or for me like I
Speaker 1: want to be Emma Thompson. I might be more Dolly Parton,
Speaker 1: but you know, it's like I can choose, I can
Speaker 1: go it's all okay, and get to I get to
Speaker 1: admire so many different women.
Speaker 2: I think the key that you said, Courtney is and
Speaker 2: we can close on this maybe, is that don't focus
Speaker 2: on that as your presentation and your appearances who I am.
Speaker 3: It's being creative.
Speaker 2: It's like Emma Thompson said, any moment and we're talking
Speaker 2: not minutes, we're talking hours. At girls spends worrying about
Speaker 2: this and all the things I do that you're not
Speaker 2: being creative because life is short and life is fleeting,
Speaker 2: and life you don't want to waste it not being creative.
Speaker 2: And I feel like the more creative I am, like
Speaker 2: when we get into developing stuff or anything, I forget
Speaker 2: about it. Yeah, what I look like and everything. Oh oh,
Speaker 2: it kind of fades because I'm in the moment of
Speaker 2: being creative and feeling alive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I'm writing all day, I end the day
Speaker 1: and I didn't think one second about how I looked.
Speaker 1: I don't think one second about someone looking at me
Speaker 1: because I'm in my crative mode, Laura, nor did I shower,
Speaker 1: But totally I'm not presenting anything. I'm actually living in
Speaker 1: that great place of creating.
Speaker 2: Say creative women, I say, and young people, young girls,
Speaker 2: because this world gives men more encouragement to be creative,
Speaker 2: Like what have you done? What do you got her?
Speaker 2: Pitch us, let's see if we want to buy it?
Speaker 2: And women, I just kind of need to put their
Speaker 2: foot in that room, whether it's the yours open or not.
Speaker 1: Don't let your creativity be what you can do to
Speaker 1: attract a man. What are you doing for yourself? What
Speaker 1: are you bringing.
Speaker 3: To the world.
Speaker 4: And on that note, yes, I love you ladies, I
Speaker 4: love you guys, love God and favorite people. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: always going to see you soon