WEBVTT - Family Car Shopping with Malcolm Gladwell 0:00:15.316 --> 0:00:22.956 Pushkin. Hey Eddie here, before we get started, I wanted 0:00:22.996 --> 0:00:24.916 you to know that you can listen to Car Show 0:00:24.956 --> 0:00:29.276 ad free by becoming a Pushkin Plus subscriber. You'll also 0:00:29.316 --> 0:00:32.796 get access to detours, bonus episodes of Car Show where 0:00:32.836 --> 0:00:37.676 we go for extended drives, play outtakes, and more fine 0:00:37.716 --> 0:00:40.636 Pushkin Plus on the Car Show page, in Apple Podcasts, 0:00:41.156 --> 0:00:46.236 or at Pushkin dot Fm. So all I have right 0:00:46.236 --> 0:00:51.916 now is a twenty fourteen BMW X one. And now 0:00:51.956 --> 0:00:55.476 most people would say that's perfectly sufficient. But I wouldn't 0:00:55.476 --> 0:00:57.636 say that. You would, no, you would not say that. 0:00:59.756 --> 0:01:04.676 I have tried it on a airport run for a 0:01:04.716 --> 0:01:08.956 holiday with my you know, with my new plus one, 0:01:09.276 --> 0:01:13.396 so three of us, and it was, you know, the 0:01:13.396 --> 0:01:17.116 amount of I had totally underestimated the amount of stuff 0:01:17.196 --> 0:01:19.836 that now, I mean, this is not in the last 0:01:19.876 --> 0:01:21.676 ten years. The amount of stuff must have doubled that 0:01:21.756 --> 0:01:25.196 you're required to carry with you. And the seats, car 0:01:25.236 --> 0:01:29.516 seats are just ginormous. They're huge, Yeah, they're they're fortress 0:01:29.596 --> 0:01:32.876 like we're just like so yeah, So I clearly what 0:01:33.036 --> 0:01:38.636 I have right now is insufficient. That's me and Malcolm Gladwell, 0:01:38.636 --> 0:01:41.556 a couple of months ago, talking shop, just like we 0:01:41.596 --> 0:01:45.836 always seemed to do. Talking shop is actually how we met. 0:01:46.676 --> 0:01:48.836 I still remember when I got that first call from 0:01:48.916 --> 0:01:51.996 him a few years ago. I was sitting at my 0:01:52.076 --> 0:01:55.076 desk in ann Arbor as editor in chief of Current Driver. 0:01:55.556 --> 0:02:02.636 When my phone rang. I heard the dulcet tones. Malcolm 0:02:02.716 --> 0:02:05.836 introduced himself as a reader, which I could hardly believe 0:02:06.396 --> 0:02:09.636 because I was at that very moment breaking apart in 0:02:09.756 --> 0:02:13.716 Oreo with my teeth. There was no way this mental, 0:02:13.796 --> 0:02:17.556 giant red car magazine's. I was also prejudiced to believe 0:02:17.796 --> 0:02:21.116 that all intellectuals hated driving and thought all cars were 0:02:21.196 --> 0:02:24.916 yellow with a light on top. But this Canadian kid 0:02:24.956 --> 0:02:29.036 impressed me. He was talking torqu curs and limited slip deferentials. 0:02:29.996 --> 0:02:32.956 He said he was doing a show on unintended acceleration 0:02:33.116 --> 0:02:37.276 for the first season of his podcast, Revisionist History. Did 0:02:37.276 --> 0:02:39.436 we at carn Driver want to be featured on it? 0:02:40.276 --> 0:02:45.196 We sure did. Altaman hits the brakes firmly, smoothly, easily, 0:02:45.676 --> 0:02:50.556 we come to a halt. But now it was my 0:02:50.676 --> 0:02:55.396 chance to return the favor. Malcolm needed my guidance. He 0:02:55.516 --> 0:02:59.916 needed to know how do I effectively move around a 0:02:59.996 --> 0:03:01.836 young family and all the stuff that comes with it. 0:03:03.956 --> 0:03:06.636 Malcolm had just become a father and couldn't decide what 0:03:06.756 --> 0:03:11.996 kind of car to get for his family. His small 0:03:12.076 --> 0:03:16.116 first generation BMW X one SUV may have been perfect 0:03:16.596 --> 0:03:20.276 ideal even for a bachelor. But if you're hauling kids 0:03:20.276 --> 0:03:23.676 in their tackle, a glorified hot hatchback like the X 0:03:23.756 --> 0:03:26.956 one isn't going to cut it. So I had to 0:03:26.956 --> 0:03:29.996 parachute in there. And by parachute, I mean pack my 0:03:30.036 --> 0:03:33.236 stuff into a minivan in Detroit and drive six hundred 0:03:33.236 --> 0:03:36.236 miles east to meet Malcolm and Hudson, New York, home 0:03:36.236 --> 0:03:39.316 to the Pushkin offices, and together we would go on 0:03:39.356 --> 0:03:41.676 a quest to find Malcolm a car for the pastoral 0:03:41.756 --> 0:03:47.116 life with a child, maybe even two. Eventually there's a 0:03:47.156 --> 0:03:50.276 great pg arooric mine. He says. Having one kid is 0:03:50.316 --> 0:03:53.036 like having a dog. Having two kids is like having 0:03:53.076 --> 0:03:58.836 a zoo. That, yeah, everything's exponentially greater. You have to 0:03:58.876 --> 0:04:02.396 have way more stuff. And yeah, if you're flying and 0:04:02.636 --> 0:04:06.516 getting the whole family packed up to go on an airplane, 0:04:07.236 --> 0:04:09.836 you need your car seat for the plan and for 0:04:09.876 --> 0:04:12.156 the cab and all that, and you need your stroller 0:04:12.236 --> 0:04:14.676 and there's just so much stuff. It's like packing a 0:04:14.716 --> 0:04:17.596 small army. Here's my worry. My worries are as well. 0:04:17.916 --> 0:04:20.236 I'm totally spoiled by I love this car to death, 0:04:20.396 --> 0:04:24.596 my X one. Yeah, it has that beautiful creamy in 0:04:24.636 --> 0:04:27.436 line six, and it has the hydraulic steering. It's got 0:04:27.476 --> 0:04:30.596 like right old school. The steering on this car is 0:04:30.676 --> 0:04:33.996 so beautiful. Every time I give into any other car, 0:04:34.116 --> 0:04:37.596 regardless of the price, I don't think it steers as 0:04:37.596 --> 0:04:40.796 well as my as my X one. So I'm resigned 0:04:40.836 --> 0:04:44.276 to the fact I'm surrendering. So that's a hard thing 0:04:44.316 --> 0:04:49.796 to give up for sure. But you know, designing which 0:04:49.796 --> 0:04:52.996 way to go for a people mover, for a family car, 0:04:53.156 --> 0:04:55.436 for you know, something that has a lot of space, 0:04:55.476 --> 0:04:59.516 it's really sort of a deep psychological question. It is. 0:04:59.676 --> 0:05:01.836 I'm now I'm a child of as well as I'm 0:05:01.876 --> 0:05:04.476 sure all every member of my generation is. I'm a 0:05:04.556 --> 0:05:07.276 child of the station wagon. Yeah, as I'm sure you were. 0:05:07.556 --> 0:05:10.356 I was what was what we your family wagons, h 0:05:11.676 --> 0:05:15.676 Ultomobile custom Cruiser. That was the biggie with the slide 0:05:15.716 --> 0:05:19.996 out tailgate and the you know, the rear facing third 0:05:20.076 --> 0:05:22.636 row where you could put the window down and inhale 0:05:22.676 --> 0:05:25.676 the exhaust and you could, you know, make faces at 0:05:25.716 --> 0:05:31.276 the serial killers behind you. It's so unsafe. And U 0:05:31.596 --> 0:05:35.196 and my mom never got a minivan. Our car growing up, 0:05:35.316 --> 0:05:38.156 our family wagon was up in the beginning was a 0:05:38.196 --> 0:05:41.276 Pugo four O four. So yeah, I mean our moms 0:05:41.316 --> 0:05:44.036 drove wagons, our parents drove wagons. But then the minivan 0:05:44.156 --> 0:05:49.996 revolution came and sort of reordered the family car universe. Now, 0:05:50.156 --> 0:05:54.636 in one fell swoop, the Chrysler minivan destroyed the station 0:05:54.636 --> 0:05:59.236 wagon market, but then the station mark then the minivan 0:05:59.316 --> 0:06:04.156 market itself got destroyed by the suv. And so that's 0:06:04.156 --> 0:06:05.636 what we're going to look at today. We're going to 0:06:05.676 --> 0:06:09.316 look at these three formats, like the evolution of the 0:06:09.356 --> 0:06:12.796 family car from the station wagon to the minivan to 0:06:12.876 --> 0:06:16.636 the suv. Which one is best for you? For me? 0:06:16.796 --> 0:06:20.156 So we have what we have a representative of each class. 0:06:20.516 --> 0:06:23.036 Yes we have a No, I'm not committing to these 0:06:23.076 --> 0:06:27.396 particular cars. We're just trying to choose the class. That's right. 0:06:27.716 --> 0:06:31.236 We're just towing into the frigid waters of automotive responsibility here. 0:06:31.996 --> 0:06:33.916 It's a tough adjustment for a guy who has an 0:06:33.916 --> 0:06:37.156 addiction to performance cars and the speeding tickets to prove it. 0:06:38.516 --> 0:06:42.836 So I used a categorical approach, positioning his options not 0:06:42.916 --> 0:06:46.836 as specific cars that might be too depressing, but in 0:06:46.876 --> 0:06:51.916 the abstract the question is cautiously broad. Where on the 0:06:51.956 --> 0:06:56.436 family car evolutionary ladder will our test subject, Malcolm Land 0:06:57.556 --> 0:06:59.756 will he go retro and choose a wagon like his 0:06:59.836 --> 0:07:03.516 parents did, or will he partake of the other options 0:07:03.516 --> 0:07:08.676 in the marketplace, the minivan or the suv. We have 0:07:08.796 --> 0:07:11.596 three vehicles for you to check out. Okay, okay. The 0:07:11.716 --> 0:07:15.076 first is the Kia Carnival. Oh do you know what 0:07:15.116 --> 0:07:17.876 that is? Yes, I do, I have. I have been 0:07:17.916 --> 0:07:25.556 looking at them online really furtively or furtively. Well, I 0:07:26.076 --> 0:07:29.156 like the idea that it doesn't it's a minivan that 0:07:29.196 --> 0:07:32.196 doesn't look like a minivan, which is you know, but 0:07:32.276 --> 0:07:35.356 it's all minivan. I mean, you're gonna see. I can't 0:07:35.356 --> 0:07:37.916 wait for your experience with it or in your reaction. 0:07:38.356 --> 0:07:42.596 The second is the wagon, the thing that a minivan killed. 0:07:42.836 --> 0:07:46.836 The wagon that we have is a Volvo V ninety 0:07:47.036 --> 0:07:51.596 cross Country. Ah, so this is the jacked up one. Yes, yeah, 0:07:51.836 --> 0:07:53.956 they're all sort of jacked up. They all want to 0:07:53.956 --> 0:07:59.196 be SUVs. Now they all have kind of exaggerated fenders, 0:07:59.516 --> 0:08:03.796 higher ride heights. You know, it's interesting because the way 0:08:03.796 --> 0:08:08.756 that the cargo area is packaged in wagons is usually 0:08:08.796 --> 0:08:12.076 pretty good for getting kids stuff in there, because it's 0:08:12.116 --> 0:08:16.996 it's longer, it's generally wider, and it's it's more horizontal 0:08:17.116 --> 0:08:21.676 than vertical. And then we come to the suv. The 0:08:21.796 --> 0:08:24.956 vehicle once used for rock crawling and mud bogging has 0:08:24.956 --> 0:08:29.076 been brought to heal. The modern day suv is the 0:08:29.156 --> 0:08:32.596 de facto family car for many, but the one we're 0:08:32.636 --> 0:08:35.356 going to drive today blurs the line between family car 0:08:35.676 --> 0:08:41.436 and granite bowl eyed. It's the Mercedes MG GL fifty three, 0:08:41.716 --> 0:08:46.876 and it is very red, very fast, and very very expensive. 0:08:47.636 --> 0:08:50.916 I'll give you my pre ranking of what I believe 0:08:51.796 --> 0:08:55.436 a priori what I believe my preferences will be. The 0:08:55.476 --> 0:08:59.676 one of the most dubious of is the overpowered suv. 0:09:01.716 --> 0:09:06.836 It's mostly for kind of like symbolic sociological reasons. Perfect 0:09:06.836 --> 0:09:09.876 I don't want to be the jackass in the AMG 0:09:10.436 --> 0:09:15.596 the glamg. Right. I briefly had a Boxter, which was 0:09:15.676 --> 0:09:17.396 the most beautiful drive I've ever had, and I got 0:09:17.516 --> 0:09:20.236 rid of it because I was the jackass in the boxter. 0:09:20.756 --> 0:09:22.316 I didn't want to go the jackass in the boxter. 0:09:22.596 --> 0:09:29.116 I understand that, so I worry that jackass factor high. Also, 0:09:29.156 --> 0:09:31.516 I've run a foul of the police so many times 0:09:31.676 --> 0:09:34.876 up here, and the temptation to speed in this thing 0:09:34.996 --> 0:09:39.436 is going to be, I'm guessing overwhelming. Second, I think 0:09:39.636 --> 0:09:42.436 I'm quite drawn to Station Megan's. They have great symbolic 0:09:42.516 --> 0:09:46.796 meaningful for me. I think they're immensely practical. I'm a 0:09:46.836 --> 0:09:50.676 little dubious of these new fangled Volvos. I wouldn't mind 0:09:50.716 --> 0:09:53.436 something that was just a proper psix orve eight in it. 0:09:54.876 --> 0:09:58.316 And then I think I'm probably most enthusiastic about the 0:09:58.316 --> 0:10:03.716 project of a minivan. Interesting because the sort of underlying 0:10:04.036 --> 0:10:07.436 thing here is that we're going from the emotional to 0:10:07.516 --> 0:10:10.556 the rational. We're going from it, you know, this crazy 0:10:11.796 --> 0:10:15.676 steroidal Mercedes, it's all jacked up and it's got like, 0:10:16.156 --> 0:10:20.796 you know, nightclub lighting and everything, and it's read through 0:10:20.956 --> 0:10:25.716 the more rational station wagon, where the cargo package is 0:10:25.756 --> 0:10:28.196 a little bit more sane and makes a little bit 0:10:28.196 --> 0:10:29.996 more sense. It's lower to the ground, but it's still 0:10:29.996 --> 0:10:33.716 fun to drive to the completely rational, which is the 0:10:33.796 --> 0:10:38.796 one box minivan, not fun. I have no kind of 0:10:38.796 --> 0:10:41.956 status anxiety about driving a minivan. Well, here's a really 0:10:41.956 --> 0:10:44.796 interesting point, and Dan Neil from The Wall Street Journal 0:10:44.796 --> 0:10:48.036 makes it all the time. He says, minivans are symbols 0:10:48.036 --> 0:10:54.476 of virility. Sports cars are not minivans. Mean you've had kids, 0:10:54.476 --> 0:11:01.756 you've reproduced? Yes, yes they do. So that's our baseline. 0:11:01.876 --> 0:11:06.156 That's those are your your pre existing biases. And you 0:11:06.276 --> 0:11:09.356 think you're a minivan man, to come by be a 0:11:09.356 --> 0:11:20.276 minivan man. Yeah. I'm Eddie Alterman, and this is Car Show, 0:11:20.916 --> 0:11:25.676 my podcast about why we drive what we drive. On 0:11:25.796 --> 0:11:29.236 today's season finale, we asked a question. When it's time 0:11:29.236 --> 0:11:31.356 to trade in the fast car for a family car, 0:11:32.036 --> 0:11:38.476 which do you choose? SUV, minivan or station wagon? Papa Bear, 0:11:39.116 --> 0:11:43.676 Mama Bear or baby Bear. After the break, Malcolm and 0:11:43.716 --> 0:11:46.116 I hit the road with a ship ton of baby 0:11:46.116 --> 0:12:07.916 stuff in the backseat. So here we are Me and Malcolm, 0:12:08.036 --> 0:12:13.236 two performance card guys evaluating family cars. Wintertime in Hudson, 0:12:13.236 --> 0:12:16.916 New York is perhaps the perfect gran environment to prepare 0:12:16.996 --> 0:12:21.516 for the coming fatherly depressions ahead. The dead trees and 0:12:21.556 --> 0:12:26.956 the slick roads set in appropriately somber tone. Still, some 0:12:27.036 --> 0:12:30.916 fun must be forgiven. Oh there it is, there, it is. 0:12:31.836 --> 0:12:36.116 They are kind of rad looking. We give you the keys, Malcolm. 0:12:36.356 --> 0:12:41.516 First up is the Mercedes mg GL fifty three list 0:12:41.556 --> 0:12:47.516 price seventy seven thousand dollars, which sounds outlandish when you 0:12:47.596 --> 0:12:51.076 say it out loud, But this thing is loaded to 0:12:51.116 --> 0:12:56.876 the gunnals with leather, chrome and technology. Forget heated or 0:12:56.916 --> 0:13:02.156 even cooled seats, the chairs, and this bends administer massages. 0:13:03.076 --> 0:13:07.076 That's right, massages. Sounds over the top, and it is, 0:13:07.836 --> 0:13:11.276 but it is also fairly representative of the new species 0:13:11.316 --> 0:13:16.396 of European suv. I'll take a look. Probably enough room 0:13:16.476 --> 0:13:23.356 for the stroller and all the baby well. The Mercedes 0:13:23.396 --> 0:13:27.396 trunk is lavishly trimmed in something that feels like wombat fur. 0:13:28.636 --> 0:13:31.396 There's a little chrome pull to access the spare tire 0:13:31.436 --> 0:13:34.556 well and little chrome tie downs for the rear netting. 0:13:35.716 --> 0:13:37.596 If you were to put a closet like this in 0:13:37.676 --> 0:13:41.556 your house, it would easily cost seventy seven grand, given 0:13:41.596 --> 0:13:44.636 the richness of the materials. But it's no walk in 0:13:44.756 --> 0:13:48.556 closet in here. The cargo volume is compromised by the 0:13:48.596 --> 0:13:53.476 forward raking rear window. The whole car is rakish. It 0:13:53.516 --> 0:13:59.356 looks mean, it sits squat on huge twenty one inch wheels, 0:13:59.396 --> 0:14:04.036 and every surface seems to glint like a gee. They're 0:14:04.276 --> 0:14:10.316 definitely sacrificing practicality for that, you know, a certain eagerness, 0:14:10.436 --> 0:14:15.116 esthetic eagerness forward rake, I don't, I don't, I don't. 0:14:15.156 --> 0:14:17.076 I think they're thinking more about the horse powers than 0:14:17.116 --> 0:14:18.996 they are about the number of children in the backseat. 0:14:19.756 --> 0:14:22.596 I think. So yeah, there's no Eddie. There's nothing about this. 0:14:23.276 --> 0:14:25.356 I couldn't even if I arrived at home with this 0:14:25.916 --> 0:14:28.596 and I said to my partner, here's the here's our 0:14:28.636 --> 0:14:31.436 family car. What is it? What's family about this car? 0:14:31.556 --> 0:14:34.276 I don't know it. Actually, now that I'm looking at 0:14:34.276 --> 0:14:36.316 with this red paint job and the black interior, it's 0:14:36.396 --> 0:14:39.436 very kind of Marquis decide, you know it is not. 0:14:40.276 --> 0:14:45.436 It's dark. I would worry about the values if any 0:14:45.516 --> 0:14:49.836 child raised in this car, right, they're going to grow 0:14:49.876 --> 0:14:54.916 up to be psychopaths. No, these are I think this 0:14:54.956 --> 0:14:57.276 is what I was saying before. I object to these 0:14:57.756 --> 0:15:02.196 overpowered They're just they're just jackass cars. You say that 0:15:02.316 --> 0:15:07.916 now I haven't driven it. We shoved producer Sam and 0:15:07.996 --> 0:15:12.356 Jacob in the back. They are not Baylor Linemen. It 0:15:12.436 --> 0:15:15.756 was surprisingly tight back there. Well that's interesting. We don't 0:15:15.756 --> 0:15:20.556 even have space for our we're maxed out at four yeah, 0:15:20.756 --> 0:15:24.516 for in some microphones and that's it. It's pretty tightly coupled. 0:15:26.236 --> 0:15:39.036 As I said, there's nothing family about this car. That's nice. 0:15:39.756 --> 0:15:41.516 How do you like that from your one steering wheel, 0:15:41.596 --> 0:15:43.676 you feel like it's hideous. You feel like Lewis Hamilton, 0:15:44.436 --> 0:15:47.836 I feel I think it looks like it looks like 0:15:47.876 --> 0:15:51.956 a video game control box. Yeah, I think we should 0:15:51.996 --> 0:16:00.476 go full drive. Yeah, it so even this steering from 0:16:00.476 --> 0:16:03.916 my like for my liking, it's too light, right, I 0:16:04.036 --> 0:16:09.196 just don't. I'm just thinking to my little battered you know, 0:16:09.916 --> 0:16:13.916 eight year old X one, and it's just so much 0:16:14.236 --> 0:16:17.676 more of a pleasure to drive. Well, there's a connection there, 0:16:17.756 --> 0:16:21.676 I mean to the road surface. You get some feel 0:16:21.916 --> 0:16:24.876 coming through the steering wheel into your hands. It's really 0:16:24.876 --> 0:16:27.596 really important. And I point out that we are that's 0:16:27.636 --> 0:16:30.156 the prison. Oh that's where they're going to send me 0:16:30.236 --> 0:16:40.636 one day when I get my next speeding tickets. So good, 0:16:40.676 --> 0:16:44.796 It comes alive a little bit, right, comes alive. It 0:16:44.876 --> 0:16:47.076 just wants to be a sports car, right, It doesn't 0:16:47.076 --> 0:16:49.396 want to be a family car. And if I would 0:16:49.396 --> 0:16:51.916 to drive this way with my daughter in the back, 0:16:52.116 --> 0:16:55.476 I would, I would. It would be like a criminal act. 0:16:55.756 --> 0:16:57.996 You know. I just think this card's a certain so 0:16:58.116 --> 0:17:02.396 with fully optioned and creeping towards one hundred grand for 0:17:02.476 --> 0:17:05.236 a car that it cannot be driven the way it 0:17:05.276 --> 0:17:11.076 wants to be driven right for for I mean that's 0:17:11.156 --> 0:17:15.596 the rational argument. I mean, isn't there something we're celebrating here? 0:17:16.316 --> 0:17:20.596 I think it's only usable if you have a pre 0:17:20.716 --> 0:17:25.236 adolescent son, and then that's the kind of person for 0:17:25.276 --> 0:17:30.476 whom this car is ideal. Yeah, listen there, Yeah, I 0:17:30.476 --> 0:17:36.476 mean it's crazy. And that's the six cylinder. Let's find 0:17:36.476 --> 0:17:45.876 the massaging seats here? Does like to go fast? Yes, 0:17:46.036 --> 0:17:52.076 it does. I do like the seats, Eddy, They're exceptional. 0:17:52.156 --> 0:17:54.676 They are good, aren't they? These are some of the 0:17:54.676 --> 0:18:00.876 best seats i've i've i've Saturday. Let's do the activated massage. Yeah, 0:18:00.956 --> 0:18:06.116 give me a hold the sage, Kay, Paul sating we 0:18:06.356 --> 0:18:08.236 have any last night. We don't want to go too 0:18:08.276 --> 0:18:10.596 far deep into this man, You'll never know what you'll 0:18:10.636 --> 0:18:15.716 find in the massage section. I will say this about 0:18:15.956 --> 0:18:22.556 the tear finishes is actually this is beautiful right, you 0:18:22.596 --> 0:18:27.156 have this cool carbon fiber we've here going across the 0:18:27.196 --> 0:18:30.756 whole instrument panel. You have this kind of Super Bowl 0:18:30.916 --> 0:18:34.996 style screen that goes from the digital gauges to the 0:18:35.076 --> 0:18:39.516 control kind of message center. Yeah, you know it's it's 0:18:39.636 --> 0:18:41.676 totally over the top. But you know, if you're paying 0:18:41.676 --> 0:18:44.556 this much money, it is very bank faulty. I will 0:18:44.556 --> 0:18:47.836 say doubt about it. It's crazy how well made it is. 0:18:48.996 --> 0:18:54.116 I think that that's really where Mercedes beats everyone. But 0:18:54.236 --> 0:18:57.116 there is much to be said about the Mercedes handling too. 0:18:57.556 --> 0:19:00.556 For a big, heavy car, it sure likes to boogie. 0:19:01.196 --> 0:19:08.876 You can do some serious donuts to end all donuts failing, 0:19:08.916 --> 0:19:11.116 did you rans they probably get You're probably have four 0:19:11.316 --> 0:19:13.516 kinds of doughnuts you could do in this car. You 0:19:13.516 --> 0:19:19.476 could do a Crueler. You could do a Boston cream cream. Well, no, 0:19:19.516 --> 0:19:22.276 wouldn't be a boss of You'd be like a Heidelberg. Right, 0:19:22.516 --> 0:19:27.996 it's some kind of Bavarian nice right exactly. So what 0:19:28.036 --> 0:19:31.796 we have here in the Mercedes AMG is something that's 0:19:31.836 --> 0:19:36.276 excessive for kid duty. It's too nice. You don't want 0:19:36.276 --> 0:19:39.276 apple sauce getting smeared on the leather. You don't want 0:19:39.316 --> 0:19:43.476 goldfish dust ground into the carpets. As much as this 0:19:43.596 --> 0:19:46.356 bends is a thing to covet, it is not the 0:19:46.476 --> 0:19:49.956 rational choice. And I'm trying to appeal to Malcolm's higher 0:19:49.956 --> 0:19:53.036 instincts here. My initial impression that it is a jackass 0:19:53.356 --> 0:19:57.556 mobile is confirmed. It is. It has nothing to do 0:19:57.596 --> 0:20:00.396 with children. You wouldn't put a child in it. The 0:20:00.516 --> 0:20:03.636 child would would would the minute it got dirty. You'd 0:20:03.636 --> 0:20:06.996 be horrified because it's so gorgeous. You're you would drive 0:20:06.996 --> 0:20:11.196 away too fast. You're partner would be screaming at every 0:20:11.196 --> 0:20:14.876 time you took a corner, like at an appropriate speed. 0:20:16.196 --> 0:20:19.996 Just everything about it is like it's just wrong. And yeah, 0:20:20.036 --> 0:20:24.436 I mean but I'm not even sure that compromise back 0:20:25.276 --> 0:20:28.636 rear areas also bothering, not just not convinced. I and 0:20:28.676 --> 0:20:32.516 fifth so much stuff in it. Well yeah, it's it's 0:20:32.556 --> 0:20:35.316 really about the driver first rather than the kid in 0:20:35.356 --> 0:20:39.756 the bank, right, yeah, not for the kind of parent 0:20:39.796 --> 0:20:41.116 you want to be, Not for the kind of parent 0:20:41.156 --> 0:20:49.716 I want to be. The Mercedes AMG G L E 0:20:49.876 --> 0:20:54.556 fifty three failed to seduce Malcolm. He saw right through it. 0:20:55.876 --> 0:21:01.516 Parenthood one high buck euro SUV zero. Next up is 0:21:01.516 --> 0:21:04.756 our minivan and the newest entry to the segment, the 0:21:04.836 --> 0:21:09.636 Kia Carnival. There are only five minivan models on sale 0:21:09.636 --> 0:21:12.556 in the US right now, so this Kia Carnival is 0:21:12.596 --> 0:21:15.396 a great representative of the current state of the minivan 0:21:15.756 --> 0:21:19.876 circa twenty twenty two. All right, let's take a look. Okay, 0:21:20.756 --> 0:21:27.236 is gorgeous. Now we're in Kya country, and it is gorgeous, 0:21:27.276 --> 0:21:33.036 not only for a minivan, but by any measure. It's 0:21:33.076 --> 0:21:36.876 just a very well resolved piece of industrial design. The 0:21:36.956 --> 0:21:40.636 front grill is seductively concave. You want to reach out 0:21:40.676 --> 0:21:44.836 and touch it. The overall boxingess is diminished by some 0:21:44.996 --> 0:21:49.036 very careful surfacing. There's a huge L shaped spear of 0:21:49.076 --> 0:21:53.356 textured metal flanking the rear glass. It has the effect 0:21:53.436 --> 0:21:56.876 of making the Kia look long and low, more suv 0:21:57.076 --> 0:22:01.116 than minivan. And that's just the outside. The inside is 0:22:01.116 --> 0:22:05.396 where the real action is, because minivans are about the passengering, 0:22:05.716 --> 0:22:09.036 not the driving. We started Malcolm off in the second row. 0:22:09.116 --> 0:22:16.076 Oh we've got the captain's chairs. Okay, make yourself comfortable. Now. 0:22:16.116 --> 0:22:19.396 It has been yours since I sat at a minivan, 0:22:20.836 --> 0:22:24.916 and I must say that I the first delightful thing 0:22:25.996 --> 0:22:30.796 is just how kind of airy and bright and the 0:22:30.836 --> 0:22:33.556 greenhouse as you as you guys like to say, right, Yes, 0:22:33.716 --> 0:22:36.316 I feel like in c I feel I have I 0:22:36.356 --> 0:22:39.596 can surveil my kids in the backseat. Yes, And there's 0:22:39.636 --> 0:22:42.476 an intercom system in this vehicle, so you can yell 0:22:42.516 --> 0:22:44.276 at them and they can yell at you. Wait, there's 0:22:44.316 --> 0:22:47.436 an there's an intercom system. So during the third row 0:22:47.516 --> 0:22:49.996 I can keep them in line. Yeah, they can bark orders. 0:22:50.596 --> 0:22:52.476 What kind of So the third row is really a 0:22:52.676 --> 0:22:55.396 kid a kid row. It's a kid row and it's 0:22:55.556 --> 0:23:00.676 not well, these are the kind of deluxe business class chairs. Yeah. 0:23:01.036 --> 0:23:04.716 I handed Malcolm E laminated placard. It described how to 0:23:04.756 --> 0:23:08.796 operate the business class style recliners in the Kia's second row, 0:23:09.236 --> 0:23:12.476 this particular model, which is the top of the line Carnival. 0:23:13.916 --> 0:23:16.636 It's really about the second row seat. And a funny 0:23:16.636 --> 0:23:18.596 thing about the second row seat. It's kind of a 0:23:18.716 --> 0:23:22.916 Korean cultural thing. That one next to you, that captain's chair. 0:23:23.036 --> 0:23:26.076 That's where the chairman sits and he can stretch out. 0:23:26.156 --> 0:23:28.996 And this is where the interpreter sits or the secretary sits, 0:23:29.276 --> 0:23:32.156 so he or she has to sit all the way up. 0:23:32.596 --> 0:23:38.596 But the front passenger seat sacrifices their foot room for 0:23:38.716 --> 0:23:43.356 the chairman in that Yeah, exactly, Oh it's nice. Yeah 0:23:44.276 --> 0:23:48.156 you can. I think recline this one too. The chairman's 0:23:48.196 --> 0:23:49.876 chair has got a foot rest. I think both of 0:23:49.956 --> 0:23:51.636 them do. And are you gonna take Are you gonna 0:23:51.636 --> 0:23:54.276 take me for a driving? Let's do it? Yeah, but 0:23:54.436 --> 0:23:56.236 you have to be reclined. Do you have to be 0:23:56.276 --> 0:23:59.956 in the I would like to be called chairman Malcolm 0:23:59.996 --> 0:24:03.876 for the duration of this draw because I'm in the 0:24:03.916 --> 0:24:06.836 chairman seat. I put my daughter in the third room 0:24:06.836 --> 0:24:09.716 and the car seat back there, sure, or the second 0:24:09.796 --> 0:24:13.236 round next to you, she can monitor. I don't understand 0:24:13.276 --> 0:24:16.116 the as a new parent, the obsession with monitoring the 0:24:16.196 --> 0:24:19.276 child at all times. I mean if once they're strapped 0:24:19.316 --> 0:24:21.716 in or in a crib. I understand if they're free ranging, 0:24:22.356 --> 0:24:25.716 but like, why do I need to have round the 0:24:25.796 --> 0:24:28.516 clock surveillance of this kid if they're already in what 0:24:28.636 --> 0:24:31.356 is essentially a prison cell, which is what a crib is, 0:24:31.436 --> 0:24:34.036 right as prisoners. Yeah, and we really have to keep 0:24:34.036 --> 0:24:35.956 our eyes on our kids for some reason. I know 0:24:36.036 --> 0:24:39.636 this massive nanny state. Okay, hold on, um, do I 0:24:39.716 --> 0:24:42.276 want my daughter to be in a car that has 0:24:42.276 --> 0:24:45.876 a chairman's chair, Like, what message am I sending her? 0:24:45.956 --> 0:24:49.316 I think you're preparing her for the real world. That's 0:24:50.836 --> 0:24:54.516 the reality of her life where she what is gonna be? 0:24:54.996 --> 0:24:57.076 She always be at the bottom of the hierarchy, and 0:24:57.196 --> 0:24:59.636 like there's always going to be a chairman lording over there. 0:24:59.796 --> 0:25:01.996 I think she could be the chairman. She could be 0:25:02.036 --> 0:25:04.596 the chairman. I'm telling my daughter you could. You two 0:25:04.596 --> 0:25:06.516 can grow up to be a chairman. Can get used 0:25:06.516 --> 0:25:09.196 to what it feels like. Yeah, I'm gonna make a 0:25:09.236 --> 0:25:18.276 series of ill advised corporate decisions. Okay, we'll roll it up. 0:25:20.116 --> 0:25:27.156 Tell you I want your professional perspective on. Remember how 0:25:27.196 --> 0:25:30.116 I drove some six hundred miles from Detroit to Hudson 0:25:30.156 --> 0:25:34.396 to meet Malcolm. I did it in this minivan. Ten 0:25:34.436 --> 0:25:37.556 and a half hours in this thing. Plenty of time 0:25:37.596 --> 0:25:41.196 for me to mentally catalog it's pros and cons. The 0:25:41.316 --> 0:25:47.836 pros the comfort, the space, the calm, and the straightforward 0:25:47.916 --> 0:25:54.036 nature of the infotainment system. The cons well, not many. 0:25:54.316 --> 0:25:57.196 The one thing that I did notice on the highway 0:25:57.276 --> 0:26:00.796 was getting blown around quite a bit. It was a 0:26:00.836 --> 0:26:04.516 little a little bit like a spinnaker on the highway. 0:26:04.676 --> 0:26:09.636 But that's because it just has a very broad broadside. Yeah, 0:26:09.676 --> 0:26:13.036 so it acts sort of like a sock because you're 0:26:13.116 --> 0:26:16.916 also cutting across the winds who have planes. That's right. 0:26:17.076 --> 0:26:19.196 Little here in the Northeast, we don't have an issue. 0:26:19.436 --> 0:26:24.756 That's true, those big open prairies. So I was but 0:26:25.076 --> 0:26:27.836 you know, I felt very kind of in control the 0:26:27.876 --> 0:26:29.476 whole time. There was a there were a couple of 0:26:29.716 --> 0:26:33.876 moments where I felt like the steering was a little laggy, 0:26:34.156 --> 0:26:38.276 that the body control, you know, wasn't that great. But 0:26:38.356 --> 0:26:42.236 it's encouraging you to drive at a stately pace exactly. 0:26:42.876 --> 0:26:46.076 You know, it was very happy at eighty miles an hour. 0:26:46.756 --> 0:26:50.916 It's not the quietest thing, but it's pretty darn nice. 0:26:50.996 --> 0:26:55.796 And look, Malcolm, it's got the super Bowl screen. It's 0:26:55.796 --> 0:26:58.436 got the same thing as the Mercedes already does add 0:26:58.516 --> 0:27:05.156 that big vast I do like them. How great the 0:27:03.436 --> 0:27:09.876 U pits abilities? Yeah, it's good. And you know, the 0:27:10.036 --> 0:27:15.476 engine's a little course, it's no Mercedes six cylinder, but 0:27:15.556 --> 0:27:18.356 you know it's fine for what it is, and it 0:27:18.476 --> 0:27:21.676 got out of its own way pretty quickly. You know, 0:27:21.716 --> 0:27:24.396 when you're driving, you'll see it's it's it drives pretty 0:27:24.396 --> 0:27:28.796 small it doesn't feel like a big honking minivan. There's 0:27:28.836 --> 0:27:33.276