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Speaker 1: Pushkin. When my Terce Richardson disappeared in September two thousand

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Speaker 1: and nine, investigators searched her car, the one that had

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Speaker 1: been impounded by the Sheriff's Department after she couldn't pay

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Speaker 1: her bill at Geoffrey's restaurant. They discovered several journals belonging

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Speaker 1: to my Teres. They were full of information about my

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Speaker 1: Teres's life, and they would ultimately shape the investigation into

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Speaker 1: her death. My Teres's dad, Michael Richardson, shared four of

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Speaker 1: the journals with us. He encouraged us to use them

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Speaker 1: so his daughter's voice could be heard. My producer, Hailey Fox,

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Speaker 1: and I are reporting this season of Lost Hills together.

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Speaker 1: We laid the journals out on a table in the

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Speaker 1: office and started to scour them for clues about who

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Speaker 1: my Race was and what became of her, this bright

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Speaker 1: young woman full of promise whose life went wildly off course.

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Speaker 1: The entries have been lightly edited for clarity, and they're

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Speaker 1: being read by an actor.

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Speaker 2: February twenty fifth, two thousand and nine. My very first journal,

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Speaker 2: well not diary or composition book, but my own journal

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Speaker 2: with the intent of reflection and bettering myself.

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Speaker 1: My Teresa's handwriting is neat and emphatic, full of omgs

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Speaker 1: and smiley faces and exclamation points, which she punctuates with hearts.

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Speaker 2: First things first, I want to own my own home.

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Speaker 2: I want to do this because it is an awesome

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Speaker 2: investment and gives me something to do while I'm preparing

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Speaker 2: to go back to school. Because, let's face it, I'm

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Speaker 2: the type of girl who enjoys accomplishing everything I set

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Speaker 2: out to do.

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Speaker 1: Her journal, she writes, is her best friend. She signs

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Speaker 1: her entries my Teres Richardson.

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Speaker 2: I like talking, dancing, telling jokes, debating, eating, analyzing, sunshine, music, sports, cars, security.

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Speaker 2: People don't like when people are wronged, discrimination, divas, racists, laziness,

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Speaker 2: cramped space, being monitored, neediness, unmotivated people.

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Speaker 1: At twenty four, my Terse is brimming with excitement about

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Speaker 1: the world and her place in it. She's a recent

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Speaker 1: graduate of cal State Fullerton, where she majored in psychology

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Speaker 1: and discovered an important part of her identity After going

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Speaker 1: out with boys in high school. She came out as

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Speaker 1: gay in college, dating two women, Desiree Black and Tessa Moon.

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Speaker 1: Like a lot of people in their early twenties, she's

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Speaker 1: still figuring things out, especially when it comes to her

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Speaker 1: love life.

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Speaker 2: Between Desen Tessa. I get one perfect person. But I

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Speaker 2: know this will never work, but right now it's too

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Speaker 2: good to let go of.

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Speaker 1: She's an executive assistant at a freight company owned by

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Speaker 1: Tessa's family, and she's also dabbling in other fields. She's

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Speaker 1: trying to get into modeling and substitute teaching. She's taking

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Speaker 1: motorcycle lessons and Go Go dancing at gay bars.

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Speaker 3: Man, have I been busy? Busy busy?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so first things first, I don't think I mentioned it,

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Speaker 2: but I had an audition for a Go Go physician

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Speaker 2: and yay, I got it. I even saw a few

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Speaker 2: cutis which made me want to dance.

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Speaker 4: Woooo.

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Speaker 2: So I go back again tonight.

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Speaker 3: Okay, new topic.

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Speaker 2: I've been taking motorcycle classes. It's actually really hard lmao. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I'm still pretty dangerous. Go Go wardrobe ideas small feathers,

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Speaker 2: outline under boob wiring, use red strings for sides, many colors,

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Speaker 2: tie rag around boom, furry red sock slash, strappy heels.

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Speaker 1: But she's getting ready to realize an ambitious dream.

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Speaker 2: Today, I'll just be reading and doing research I'm both

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Speaker 2: finding a home, plan to start saving four and to

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Speaker 2: start preparing for grad school.

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Speaker 1: She wants to be a therapist.

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Speaker 2: I want to be the gay and lesbian guru.

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Speaker 1: Two thousand and nine, she writes, is going to be

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Speaker 1: a transformative year for her.

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Speaker 2: So here's to me and my progression forward. I refuse

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Speaker 2: to let this year go to waste. And the new

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Speaker 2: motto is O nine is mine.

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Speaker 1: She's shedding an old identity, one that served her for

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Speaker 1: many years, the identity of the beautiful, perfectly composed, perfectly

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Speaker 1: presentable young lady, the beauty pageant contestant, the pleaser that's

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Speaker 1: falling away, and in its place, someone new is being born.

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Speaker 2: I think the Lord has blessed me with a good

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Speaker 2: head on my shoulders and a love for friendly debates.

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Speaker 2: I've always loved a challenge. Well, if I'm going to

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Speaker 2: start my career as a great gay therapist, I better

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Speaker 2: get used to people being disgusted by me. So watch out, people,

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Speaker 2: I'm about to make a name for myself.

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Speaker 1: Let's go the real My trace is emerging. She's done

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Speaker 1: being a beauty queen. She's ready to be a voice.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dana Goodyear, and this is Lost Hells Episode two.

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Speaker 3: My light.

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Speaker 1: Picture my Teres. She's vivacious and charismatic with almond shaped

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Speaker 1: eyes and a dazzling smile. A person you can't help,

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Speaker 1: but notice she makes sure of it.

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Speaker 5: Well, she was a bit of a show off. It

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Speaker 5: started early on, Like I remember she was in this

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Speaker 5: private daycare when she was three, and you know, she

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Speaker 5: just did her part, and my Trece just like this

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Speaker 5: is me, This is I like, even at three years.

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Speaker 1: Old, this is my Teresa's dad.

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Speaker 5: My name is Michael L. Richardson. I'm the proud father

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Speaker 5: of my race Richardson. One of my favorite pictures of

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Speaker 5: her is a picture of her in her cheerleading uniform.

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Speaker 5: Is called a Roman kit that she taught me, and

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Speaker 5: it's when you're standing straight up like this and you

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Speaker 5: just jump straight up and kick both legs out and

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Speaker 5: your fingers touch your toes and you know, her mom

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Speaker 5: caught that picture and it looked like her legs is

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Speaker 5: just straight out like this, my favorite picture.

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Speaker 1: Michael is tall and heavy set, with sparkling eyes and

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Speaker 1: a boisterous laugh. He works in private security and owns

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Speaker 1: a pair of poodles named Delta and Bentley. On sunny days.

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Speaker 1: He likes to drive around la in a sixty six Chevy.

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Speaker 5: It looks like what they referred to as a lowrider.

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Speaker 5: It's pearl white. When the sun hits it, it sparkles.

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Speaker 5: It has a mega sound system in it because.

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Speaker 1: On the trunk there's a portrait of my Trees in

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Speaker 1: a white gown and Tiara with angel wings.

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Speaker 5: She was in a pageant once and she had this

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Speaker 5: Tierra on and we took that and put it on

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Speaker 5: a back a car, and above it it has the

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Speaker 5: words still riding with my Daddy. It's pretty crazy because

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Speaker 5: every time I drive it, you will look over at

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Speaker 5: me and just see me with tears in my eyes,

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Speaker 5: just balling, you know. But I'm just steady cruising, you know.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it's very sentimental to me.

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Speaker 1: Michael and my Teresa's mother, Latisse Sutton, were high school sweethearts.

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Speaker 5: We had my Teres very young. I think we were

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Speaker 5: seventeen when her mother became pregnant and we finished high school.

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Speaker 5: My Teres was born in our senior year and just

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Speaker 5: always a good kid.

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Speaker 1: At the time. Latis lived with her grandmother, Mildred Harris,

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Speaker 1: in Willowbrook, a neighborhood in South La.

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Speaker 5: Her mother, Latise was in debutante things and sophistication, and

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Speaker 5: Miss Harris was just very regal, just very regal.

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Speaker 1: When my Terrees was about four years old, Michael went

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Speaker 1: to prison for five years. He and Latis split up

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Speaker 1: and she married a man named Larry Sutton.

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Speaker 5: My Teresa's stepfather. Larry came into the life and he

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Speaker 5: was an executive for Southern California. Edison.

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Speaker 1: Latis and Larry moved my Teres out of the city

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Speaker 1: to the more affluent community of West Covina.

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Speaker 5: And I remember when I came to visit him, I

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Speaker 5: looked like, wow, man, talk about the real life Jefferson's here.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 5: They moved on up.

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Speaker 1: And it was there in the comfortable suburbs that my

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Speaker 1: Terce grew up.

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Speaker 6: I remember the very first day of school, there was

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Speaker 6: this loud, beautiful black girl that was like, Hey, you're

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Speaker 6: the new black girl in school. Let's be friends. And

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Speaker 6: that was my Terrees.

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Speaker 1: This is Juell Moore. She was one of my Teresa's

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Speaker 1: closest friends starting in the eighth grade.

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Speaker 6: And from that day forward we kind of bonded and

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Speaker 6: clicked in maintained a friendship. She enjoyed dance. I enjoyed dance.

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Speaker 6: That was a passion that we shared together. We auditioned

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Speaker 6: to be cheerleaders in high school together and then even

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Speaker 6: took dance classes together in college.

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Speaker 1: My RaSE was popular with good reason.

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Speaker 6: In junior, high school and high school. My Trees is

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Speaker 6: a firecracker. She was always like very vivacious. When she

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Speaker 6: walked into a room, she lit it up. I mean

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Speaker 6: she would walk in and not knowing everybody and then

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Speaker 6: leave knowing everybody.

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Speaker 1: But there were high expectations riding on her too.

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Speaker 6: Her mom was very very very very stickler about like education.

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Speaker 6: Latis push like, if you're gonna do this, like you

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Speaker 6: gotta be the best. So she always wanted to be

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Speaker 6: the best in everything that she did. So even in

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Speaker 6: the relationship with her mom, it's being the best child

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Speaker 6: I can be with also being my race, which was

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Speaker 6: you know, her own person.

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Speaker 1: Once in a while, My Trees would slip up and

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Speaker 1: get in trouble.

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Speaker 6: So here's like a fun my Tree story. She would

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Speaker 6: get in trouble and so her mom would make her

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Speaker 6: wear a uniform to school, although our school wasn't uniform,

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Speaker 6: so then she would be like the only girl at

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Speaker 6: school in a uniform. I mean this is back in

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Speaker 6: like the two thousands, like late nineties, where fashion was important.

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Speaker 6: So she's wearing these long plaid skirts with like high

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Speaker 6: socks and ugly sweatshirts and like collared shirts and a

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Speaker 6: school where you know, everybody is trying to figure out

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Speaker 6: the next like what track suit or you know, like

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Speaker 6: so that was her. She did what she wanted to

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Speaker 6: do and suffer the consequences.

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Speaker 1: Growing up, My Trees was sheltered.

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Speaker 6: She wasn't the street savvy kid. I mean she was

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Speaker 6: afraid of the dark even as an adult. Latise was like,

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Speaker 6: I drive you everywhere. I need to know where you go.

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Speaker 6: They were very strict about where she drove when she

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Speaker 6: got her license. Like my Trees did not take public transportation,

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Speaker 6: wouldn't know how to if her life depended on it.

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Speaker 1: Michael was protective too, in his own way. At one

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Speaker 1: of the many proms my Teres went to, he did

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Speaker 1: something that became legendary among her friends.

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Speaker 6: My favorite prom story, which I tell Michael all the time,

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Speaker 6: is Michael drove us to our prom and threatened our

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Speaker 6: principle and told us, like none of us better come

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Speaker 6: back pregnant, and our principal was terrified because if you've

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Speaker 6: seen Michael, you do not want him coming to you

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Speaker 6: threatening him about your daughters. So that's like my favorite

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Speaker 6: prom story, Jules says.

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Speaker 1: From the time they were kids, my Teresa's favorite flower

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Speaker 1: was the sunflower.

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Speaker 6: She just really loved them because they're just beautiful, and

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Speaker 6: you know, like they're different from all the other flowers

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Speaker 6: and where they grow and their representation of, you know,

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Speaker 6: growing towards a light and how like tall they can grow,

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Speaker 6: what they can grow into.

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Speaker 1: That was my Teres, beautiful, original and growing towards the

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Speaker 1: light until suddenly she changed. On June twenty sixth, two

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Speaker 1: thousand and nine, my Teres wrote a heartbroken journal entry

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Speaker 1: about the death of Michael Jackson.

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Speaker 2: I'm writing today because yesterday a great man passed away,

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Speaker 2: Michael Jackson. I wish it were a lie. Can't believe

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Speaker 2: I'm crying. I loved him. I know I did. This

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Speaker 2: pain I feel is real. I love you your fans.

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Speaker 2: Slash inspired my Terce Richardson.

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Speaker 3: She was devastated.

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Speaker 1: She felt like she was one of the few people

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Speaker 1: who truly understood him, and it sent her into a funk.

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Speaker 1: She couldn't shake.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's been a long time, I know, but it's

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00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:24,556
Speaker 2: because I've been feeling kind of worthless, you know how.

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Speaker 2: I made all these plans to get a new job,

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Speaker 2: and yadi YETI boo boo. I finally realized I barely

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Speaker 2: do my jobs as it is now, and I love

224
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Speaker 2: my jobs.

225
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Speaker 1: It was right around then, in July two thousand and nine,

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Speaker 1: that she met and fell in love with a woman

227
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Speaker 1: named Hannah Parks. My Trice was performing at Deborah's, a

228
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:48,716
Speaker 1: lady's night at a gay club in Long Beach. In

229
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Speaker 1: walked Hannah, skinny blonde, covered in tattoos and wearing sunglasses.

230
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Speaker 2: Inside I found God and then I saw you. I

231
00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:02,516
Speaker 2: saw you through the darkness of the club. You saw

232
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Speaker 2: me through the shades of your glasses, and we never

233
00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:07,476
Speaker 2: really saw one another's appearance until the light.

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00:15:11,156 --> 00:15:14,796
Speaker 1: Hannah Parks is wary of attention. She was questioned by

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Speaker 1: police about my Teresa's disappearance, and my Teresa's family was

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00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:22,236
Speaker 1: pretty hostile toward her. We could tell from the journals

237
00:15:22,316 --> 00:15:24,156
Speaker 1: that she and my Teres were spending a lot of

238
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Speaker 1: time together in the weeks before my Terse went missing,

239
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:30,956
Speaker 1: and we knew from law enforcement documents that my teres

240
00:15:31,036 --> 00:15:33,996
Speaker 1: had told the valet at Jeoffrey's she was there to

241
00:15:34,036 --> 00:15:38,196
Speaker 1: meet Hannah. Haley and I tried calling and emailing but

242
00:15:38,236 --> 00:15:41,316
Speaker 1: didn't get anywhere. We ended up driving down to Orange

243
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:43,756
Speaker 1: County to an address where we thought she lived and

244
00:15:43,836 --> 00:15:46,076
Speaker 1: leaving a note on a car we thought belonged to her.

245
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Speaker 1: A few days later, she invited us over. Her wife,

246
00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:50,836
Speaker 1: Kelsey answered the door.

247
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Speaker 6: Hi, Sorry, sweet, No, You're fine.

248
00:15:59,596 --> 00:16:00,556
Speaker 3: How do you take shoes off?

249
00:16:06,316 --> 00:16:09,876
Speaker 1: Hannah was and is a serious Christian, but back in

250
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:12,236
Speaker 1: the summer of two thousand and nine, she was taking

251
00:16:12,276 --> 00:16:15,396
Speaker 1: a little hiatus from piety.

252
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Speaker 4: So I at the time was going to a private

253
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:22,476
Speaker 4: Christian university, but it was during the summer, so I

254
00:16:22,556 --> 00:16:25,716
Speaker 4: was kind of wilding out a little bit, and a

255
00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:29,356
Speaker 4: couple friends and I went to a club in Long

256
00:16:29,396 --> 00:16:35,836
Speaker 4: Beach called Deborahs, I believe, and that evening, my chrase

257
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:40,556
Speaker 4: was there like go go dancing, and I spotted her.

258
00:16:41,756 --> 00:16:44,916
Speaker 1: My trese was on stage dancing behind a partition will

259
00:16:44,956 --> 00:16:46,196
Speaker 1: people threw money at her.

260
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:51,116
Speaker 4: She wasn't wearing much. A lot of girls it would

261
00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:54,796
Speaker 4: do like go go dancing, weren't that talented really? At dancing,

262
00:16:54,836 --> 00:16:57,836
Speaker 4: but she was a really good dancer, and I don't know,

263
00:16:57,956 --> 00:17:00,836
Speaker 4: she just had this energy about her that made me intrigued.

264
00:17:02,196 --> 00:17:04,796
Speaker 1: Part of what intrigued Hannah was that my Rise was

265
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:08,836
Speaker 1: staring straight at her while she danced. After the show,

266
00:17:09,156 --> 00:17:13,236
Speaker 1: they started talking and then they started hanging out, and

267
00:17:13,316 --> 00:17:16,716
Speaker 1: she had a nickname for you, which was PD or

268
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Speaker 1: private Dancer.

269
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:28,956
Speaker 4: Is that right, That's so funny. I forgot about that. Yeah,

270
00:17:28,996 --> 00:17:33,076
Speaker 4: So my Trace would do like private dances for me

271
00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:38,476
Speaker 4: and asked me to dance for her, and so that

272
00:17:38,596 --> 00:17:42,876
Speaker 4: was something we did. I totally forgot about that.

273
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:47,316
Speaker 1: They had a physical attraction, but there was more to.

274
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:51,276
Speaker 4: It once we started talking. I think we just had

275
00:17:51,316 --> 00:17:55,956
Speaker 4: a lot in common. She was very eager to grow

276
00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:02,956
Speaker 4: like mentally, emotionally, spiritually. For sure, my.

277
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:07,156
Speaker 1: Trace was filling up journal after journal and Hannah she

278
00:18:07,316 --> 00:18:08,636
Speaker 1: was a writer too.

279
00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:14,836
Speaker 4: I was at that time I was really into writing poetry,

280
00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:19,476
Speaker 4: spoken word, that sort of thing. So it was definitely

281
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,436
Speaker 4: we had a strong mental connection as well.

282
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:27,716
Speaker 1: My Trees wanted to read every book. Hannah mentioned, listen

283
00:18:27,756 --> 00:18:31,076
Speaker 1: to every band, dissect every song.

284
00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:34,516
Speaker 4: And so when I would share certain artists with her

285
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:39,156
Speaker 4: or we would literally listen to a song, or we

286
00:18:39,196 --> 00:18:43,276
Speaker 4: would listen to a poetic artist or something like that,

287
00:18:43,436 --> 00:18:47,556
Speaker 4: and we could sit and talk about it one song

288
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:52,516
Speaker 4: or one poem for over an hour and just really

289
00:18:52,596 --> 00:18:54,396
Speaker 4: dive into it. And what do you think about this?

290
00:18:55,436 --> 00:18:59,156
Speaker 1: With Hannah, my Trees seemed to feel permission to stop performing,

291
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:02,916
Speaker 1: to stop being so perfect. She was tuning into a

292
00:19:02,956 --> 00:19:08,236
Speaker 1: more soulful frequency. One of Hannah's tattoos read look Deeper.

293
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,716
Speaker 1: Terce loved that she wanted to do that.

294
00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:18,356
Speaker 4: I think what was happening is as she was sort

295
00:19:18,356 --> 00:19:22,596
Speaker 4: of growing into herself because she was in her what

296
00:19:22,756 --> 00:19:28,716
Speaker 4: mid twenties, I don't think that it was enough substantially

297
00:19:28,916 --> 00:19:34,076
Speaker 4: for her to simply define herself as this beauty pageant

298
00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:38,916
Speaker 4: this is what matters type of woman. And although she

299
00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:43,156
Speaker 4: was very beautiful, she was beautiful without the pageants. She

300
00:19:43,236 --> 00:19:46,076
Speaker 4: was beautiful without all the makeup, and she was beautiful

301
00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:52,956
Speaker 4: beyond physical and so I think for her, she was

302
00:19:52,996 --> 00:19:59,236
Speaker 4: sort of looking for something she could connect with herself

303
00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:01,916
Speaker 4: and with others beyond that physical.

304
00:20:03,116 --> 00:20:05,796
Speaker 1: Part of that was she wasn't going to stress so

305
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,396
Speaker 1: much over her appearance anymore.

306
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,796
Speaker 4: I think my Trace wanted to see herself how my

307
00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:14,196
Speaker 4: trace wanted to see herself, not how other people wanted

308
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:14,596
Speaker 4: to see her.

309
00:20:14,876 --> 00:20:18,196
Speaker 1: She started wearing her hair natural and using less makeup.

310
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Speaker 4: I think she was getting tired of kind of straightening

311
00:20:22,636 --> 00:20:26,236
Speaker 4: and gelling, and I think she'd been doing that for

312
00:20:26,276 --> 00:20:31,116
Speaker 4: so long, so I encouraged her. Whatever, however, you're comfortable,

313
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:32,556
Speaker 4: that's how you should wear your hair.

314
00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:37,076
Speaker 1: Hannah was going through her own identity stuff at the time,

315
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:41,356
Speaker 1: figuring out how to reconcile her faith with her sexuality.

316
00:20:42,756 --> 00:20:46,356
Speaker 4: I think, in this really cool way, we were both

317
00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:51,596
Speaker 4: at a similar place, but in different ways.

318
00:20:52,756 --> 00:20:55,836
Speaker 1: From the beginning, though, there was an imbalance.

319
00:20:56,716 --> 00:21:01,436
Speaker 4: My Trece. I mean, she was intense right, my Trace

320
00:21:01,596 --> 00:21:05,436
Speaker 4: felt intensely about me, and I felt intensely about her,

321
00:21:05,636 --> 00:21:11,076
Speaker 4: but not in the same way.

322
00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:13,156
Speaker 1: My Teresa's feelings for Hannah went beyond a crush or

323
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,516
Speaker 1: even an infatuation.

324
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:21,396
Speaker 4: I think that I just so happened to meet her

325
00:21:22,796 --> 00:21:28,436
Speaker 4: at this time, pretty close prior to when there was

326
00:21:28,516 --> 00:21:32,756
Speaker 4: this mental decline that started happening. And I think that

327
00:21:32,836 --> 00:21:36,756
Speaker 4: because I was there, and because the feelings were already involved,

328
00:21:37,556 --> 00:21:41,676
Speaker 4: I think that she clung to me and the relationship

329
00:21:41,716 --> 00:21:46,196
Speaker 4: we had much more than maybe she would have otherwise.

330
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Speaker 1: In the summer of two thousand and nine, as my

331
00:21:49,596 --> 00:21:54,036
Speaker 1: Terce was looking deeper, she was also undergoing changes she

332
00:21:54,076 --> 00:21:57,716
Speaker 1: couldn't control, changes that didn't make her feel like a

333
00:21:57,756 --> 00:22:03,156
Speaker 1: more authentic version of herself. But like a stranger reading

334
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:07,276
Speaker 1: the journals, it's obvious that my Terce was struggling. We

335
00:22:07,356 --> 00:22:10,036
Speaker 1: thought at first that maybe she and Hannah were doing

336
00:22:10,076 --> 00:22:14,676
Speaker 1: hard drugs together, and that's what explained the shift. Hannah says,

337
00:22:14,756 --> 00:22:17,876
Speaker 1: that wasn't it at all. She didn't use drugs, and

338
00:22:17,916 --> 00:22:22,476
Speaker 1: my Trees, to her knowledge, only smoked pot. My Teres's behavior,

339
00:22:22,596 --> 00:22:27,156
Speaker 1: she said, changed inexplicably, and she remembers the day it happened.

340
00:22:29,076 --> 00:22:31,516
Speaker 4: There used to be this restaurant by the apartment I

341
00:22:31,556 --> 00:22:34,196
Speaker 4: used to live in, and we went there for brunch

342
00:22:35,316 --> 00:22:37,076
Speaker 4: and we would talk about the Bible a lot, and

343
00:22:37,076 --> 00:22:40,436
Speaker 4: we would talk about my beliefs and she would share

344
00:22:40,476 --> 00:22:45,076
Speaker 4: her beliefs, And there was this one particular conversation where

345
00:22:45,076 --> 00:22:50,156
Speaker 4: she started saying very odd things about the Bible. They

346
00:22:50,196 --> 00:22:52,396
Speaker 4: made no sense to me. I don't know that they

347
00:22:52,476 --> 00:22:54,876
Speaker 4: made sense to her, but it seemed like they made

348
00:22:54,876 --> 00:22:56,956
Speaker 4: sense to her, which is what scared me. And I

349
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,796
Speaker 4: don't remember the specifics, but she would say something like

350
00:23:01,596 --> 00:23:06,236
Speaker 4: if you replace the word God with I or me

351
00:23:07,876 --> 00:23:12,036
Speaker 4: or something to that effect. I was genuinely trying to

352
00:23:12,116 --> 00:23:14,276
Speaker 4: understand where she was coming from and could not, and

353
00:23:14,396 --> 00:23:18,596
Speaker 4: she would not let it go. And that was the

354
00:23:18,636 --> 00:23:21,636
Speaker 4: first time I remember sitting in that restaurant looking at her, like,

355
00:23:22,716 --> 00:23:25,676
Speaker 4: oh shit, something's going on.

356
00:23:27,836 --> 00:23:31,636
Speaker 1: Something in my trees was changing. Hannah could see it,

357
00:23:32,156 --> 00:23:35,356
Speaker 1: My Trees could see it, and both of them knew

358
00:23:35,756 --> 00:23:55,116
Speaker 1: that my Trees needed help. My Trees had always been

359
00:23:55,116 --> 00:23:57,676
Speaker 1: worried about her mental health. There was a history of

360
00:23:57,756 --> 00:24:00,796
Speaker 1: mental illness on both sides of the family. In a

361
00:24:00,836 --> 00:24:04,876
Speaker 1: self published memoir, her mother Latis writes about suffering from

362
00:24:05,036 --> 00:24:12,956
Speaker 1: quote major depression, rapid cycling, bipolar PTS, and anxiety. Latisse

363
00:24:12,996 --> 00:24:15,716
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk to me. Her husband, Larry said

364
00:24:15,756 --> 00:24:18,156
Speaker 1: it is too traumatic for her to talk about my Teres.

365
00:24:19,556 --> 00:24:22,476
Speaker 1: In her journals, my Terse writes a lot about being

366
00:24:22,516 --> 00:24:23,756
Speaker 1: concerned for Latise.

367
00:24:25,156 --> 00:24:28,436
Speaker 2: I would sell my right arm to know more about

368
00:24:28,476 --> 00:24:32,076
Speaker 2: how and why the hell her mind flipped. Ever since

369
00:24:32,116 --> 00:24:35,316
Speaker 2: I was little, my thoughts and lack of understanding about

370
00:24:35,316 --> 00:24:38,836
Speaker 2: her has ran circles in my mind. I guess I'll

371
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:41,316
Speaker 2: never know. But I wonder if she knows that we

372
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:42,036
Speaker 2: all love her.

373
00:24:43,556 --> 00:24:46,796
Speaker 1: This family history. It's the reason my Teres wanted to

374
00:24:46,796 --> 00:24:50,116
Speaker 1: go to grad school for clinical psychology, the reason she

375
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,756
Speaker 1: wanted to become a therapist. She wanted to understand mental illness,

376
00:24:55,316 --> 00:24:58,276
Speaker 1: She wanted to help people manage it, and she wanted

377
00:24:58,316 --> 00:25:02,676
Speaker 1: to spot it if it ever came for her. In

378
00:25:02,716 --> 00:25:06,676
Speaker 1: the weeks before her disappearance, my Teresa's journals changed dramatically.

379
00:25:07,396 --> 00:25:11,116
Speaker 1: She begins to write about losing her mind, finding her mind,

380
00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:15,876
Speaker 1: hoping she gets her mind back. These entries are painful

381
00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:19,676
Speaker 1: to read. She sounds desperate for someone to understand her,

382
00:25:20,236 --> 00:25:24,596
Speaker 1: desperate for reassurance that she's making sense, but she knows

383
00:25:25,036 --> 00:25:26,076
Speaker 1: she isn't.

384
00:25:26,836 --> 00:25:30,396
Speaker 2: I is a representative of me. That is important because

385
00:25:30,476 --> 00:25:32,996
Speaker 2: if you look with two eyes, you will always see

386
00:25:33,036 --> 00:25:36,116
Speaker 2: one eye standing alone, or shall I say one eye?

387
00:25:36,356 --> 00:25:38,556
Speaker 2: But if your two eyes have been opened, you will

388
00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:41,716
Speaker 2: see that one eye is still too myself plus I

389
00:25:42,396 --> 00:25:44,676
Speaker 2: which eye is unknown until I know me.

390
00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:51,476
Speaker 1: Her handwriting also changes, no more exclamation points with hearts.

391
00:25:52,156 --> 00:25:58,516
Speaker 1: Now she's digging her pen into the page, underlining, crossing out, revising, correcting,

392
00:25:59,116 --> 00:26:04,276
Speaker 1: as if she's at war. With herself. You can still

393
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:09,516
Speaker 1: glimpse the ambitious young woman, but only in flashes. Everything

394
00:26:09,516 --> 00:26:13,156
Speaker 1: else is our Kane references to the King of Pop

395
00:26:13,556 --> 00:26:16,236
Speaker 1: in the midst of a kaleidoscopic blur.

396
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:20,476
Speaker 2: Michael J helped me find me because although he never

397
00:26:20,596 --> 00:26:24,596
Speaker 2: met my trees, I always knew him because before I.

398
00:26:24,476 --> 00:26:26,196
Speaker 3: Saw him, he touched my soul.

399
00:26:26,916 --> 00:26:29,756
Speaker 2: I am my trece L Richardson, and I am a

400
00:26:29,836 --> 00:26:33,916
Speaker 2: big deal. I am my trece L Richardson, and I

401
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:34,916
Speaker 2: am a big deal.

402
00:26:34,996 --> 00:26:35,316
Speaker 5: P S.

403
00:26:35,716 --> 00:26:38,356
Speaker 3: I love were.

404
00:26:39,236 --> 00:26:43,876
Speaker 2: And me plus you are the world me. My voice

405
00:26:43,996 --> 00:26:47,276
Speaker 2: is off in silence because oh, my Trees, you're so pretty. Yes,

406
00:26:47,396 --> 00:26:49,476
Speaker 2: oh my trees, your.

407
00:26:49,396 --> 00:26:51,396
Speaker 3: Eyes, yes, I know, but.

408
00:26:53,556 --> 00:26:56,796
Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up and let me speak. But you're

409
00:26:56,836 --> 00:27:01,076
Speaker 2: so pretty, you don't have anything important?

410
00:27:01,836 --> 00:27:03,876
Speaker 3: Is going to be the death of I isn't big

411
00:27:03,876 --> 00:27:04,916
Speaker 3: when it's small like me.

412
00:27:05,316 --> 00:27:09,676
Speaker 2: That's why I never inspired to be Miss Fullerton. I

413
00:27:09,756 --> 00:27:12,316
Speaker 2: inspired to be Miss America because I.

414
00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:14,716
Speaker 3: Knew me, but you couldn't. So together.

415
00:27:15,356 --> 00:27:16,916
Speaker 2: Mommy knew I could.

416
00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:19,116
Speaker 3: I love her happy faces.

417
00:27:19,316 --> 00:27:23,196
Speaker 2: They make her smile, so I'm afraid to say, oh,

418
00:27:23,796 --> 00:27:25,236
Speaker 2: what is this entry about?

419
00:27:25,476 --> 00:27:25,836
Speaker 6: L O L.

420
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:32,796
Speaker 2: I must have been high Mike me not my mouth

421
00:27:32,876 --> 00:27:34,476
Speaker 2: is going to be mouth. That's going to be the

422
00:27:34,556 --> 00:27:39,076
Speaker 2: depth of more like more like, like, I, what the

423
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,636
Speaker 2: fuck is going on? Where is my mind?

424
00:27:41,956 --> 00:27:42,036
Speaker 1: Me?

425
00:27:42,236 --> 00:27:43,356
Speaker 3: And I It's lost.

426
00:27:43,476 --> 00:27:47,436
Speaker 2: As soon as I found it, I disappeared just as fast.

427
00:27:48,036 --> 00:27:50,636
Speaker 2: I feel like on the inside, I'm screaming and kicking

428
00:27:50,756 --> 00:27:54,996
Speaker 2: trying to get out of these fucking restraints. I'm afraid

429
00:27:55,076 --> 00:28:08,796
Speaker 2: to say.

430
00:28:02,436 --> 00:28:03,756
Speaker 1: Here's Hannah Parks again.

431
00:28:05,076 --> 00:28:08,436
Speaker 4: I think she was scared about what was going on

432
00:28:08,476 --> 00:28:11,156
Speaker 4: with her, and I don't know that she knew what

433
00:28:11,236 --> 00:28:12,916
Speaker 4: to do, and I think she was looking to me

434
00:28:14,196 --> 00:28:17,716
Speaker 4: for some answer that I didn't have.

435
00:28:19,196 --> 00:28:23,876
Speaker 1: Her interactions with my trees were growing increasingly strange.

436
00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:26,916
Speaker 4: We went from having what I would call like this

437
00:28:27,276 --> 00:28:34,636
Speaker 4: really intellectual stimulating conversation to kind of like, what the

438
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:38,356
Speaker 4: fuck are you talking about? I don't know what you're

439
00:28:38,396 --> 00:28:42,436
Speaker 4: talking about, and that's not normal for you, Like I'm

440
00:28:42,516 --> 00:28:45,876
Speaker 4: not understanding. I was much more gentle because I knew

441
00:28:45,916 --> 00:28:48,876
Speaker 4: that something was going on. Now I can say to

442
00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:50,476
Speaker 4: you what the fuck was going on?

443
00:28:52,156 --> 00:28:55,556
Speaker 1: Whatever it was, Hannah felt unequipped to deal with it.

444
00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:59,316
Speaker 4: But we would sit and talk and I'd be like, dude,

445
00:28:59,396 --> 00:29:02,236
Speaker 4: tell me, like like I would be crying because I

446
00:29:02,276 --> 00:29:07,556
Speaker 4: could see it happening, Like, tell me what is going on?

447
00:29:09,356 --> 00:29:15,836
Speaker 4: To get you help. I'm over here writing poetry and

448
00:29:16,316 --> 00:29:20,956
Speaker 4: studying theology. I don't know how to help. So we

449
00:29:20,996 --> 00:29:26,356
Speaker 4: would pray, we would talk. I encouraged her to go

450
00:29:26,476 --> 00:29:31,116
Speaker 4: get help. She was skeptical of people judging her. She

451
00:29:31,196 --> 00:29:38,996
Speaker 4: was skeptical of I think admitting I think she was

452
00:29:39,036 --> 00:29:43,036
Speaker 4: scared to say. She was scared, and she was just

453
00:29:43,076 --> 00:29:45,156
Speaker 4: struggling so bad internally.

454
00:29:46,676 --> 00:29:49,596
Speaker 1: According to Hannah, my Trice resisted the idea of going

455
00:29:49,676 --> 00:29:54,156
Speaker 1: to a clinic, getting a diagnosis and going a medication. Instead,

456
00:29:54,476 --> 00:29:58,116
Speaker 1: she started self medicating, smoking more and more pot.

457
00:29:59,476 --> 00:30:02,996
Speaker 4: My personal opinion, there's no factual evidence behind this, but

458
00:30:03,036 --> 00:30:06,476
Speaker 4: my personal opinion is that she was trying to cope

459
00:30:07,156 --> 00:30:10,996
Speaker 4: with what was going going on with her internally, and

460
00:30:11,036 --> 00:30:17,116
Speaker 4: she didn't know how. And I think her opinion was, well,

461
00:30:17,196 --> 00:30:20,556
Speaker 4: I feel better when I smoke weed, but she didn't.

462
00:30:21,876 --> 00:30:23,436
Speaker 4: I think that's what she was hoping.

463
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:28,956
Speaker 1: My Tree stopped sleeping and eating regularly. She was supposed

464
00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:31,796
Speaker 1: to be living with her great grandmother, Mildred Harris in

465
00:30:31,836 --> 00:30:35,356
Speaker 1: South LA, but she started staying in her car. She'd

466
00:30:35,436 --> 00:30:38,436
Speaker 1: arrive at Hannah's place, unshowered and unkempt.

467
00:30:39,676 --> 00:30:42,956
Speaker 4: She'd come over another day and be like, Oh, I've

468
00:30:42,996 --> 00:30:45,196
Speaker 4: been journaling in my car. But she would tell me

469
00:30:45,356 --> 00:30:49,956
Speaker 4: like for days, and I'm like, my Trees, you need

470
00:30:49,996 --> 00:30:52,796
Speaker 4: to sleep, Like have you eaten? No, she wasn't eating

471
00:30:52,836 --> 00:30:56,356
Speaker 4: a lot. She definitely wasn't sleeping. And I would tell

472
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:59,556
Speaker 4: her like, dude, you cannot just sleep in your car.

473
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:03,996
Speaker 4: It's not safe. You're a single woman by yourself. You

474
00:31:04,076 --> 00:31:06,516
Speaker 4: can't just sleep in your car. Come to my house

475
00:31:06,556 --> 00:31:08,436
Speaker 4: if you're gonna if you don't want to go home,

476
00:31:08,476 --> 00:31:11,076
Speaker 4: come to my house. Stop sleeping in your car. But

477
00:31:11,156 --> 00:31:11,956
Speaker 4: she kept doing it.

478
00:31:12,676 --> 00:31:13,756
Speaker 3: You know where she would park?

479
00:31:13,836 --> 00:31:16,996
Speaker 4: I have no idea. I think sometimes she parked outside

480
00:31:17,036 --> 00:31:20,156
Speaker 4: of my apartment, like on this in the street parking.

481
00:31:21,716 --> 00:31:25,276
Speaker 1: My trees had met Hannah sometime in July. Within weeks.

482
00:31:25,316 --> 00:31:27,596
Speaker 1: It seemed to Hannah, my Trees was hanging on to

483
00:31:27,716 --> 00:31:30,276
Speaker 1: her for dear life, and they were both drowning.

484
00:31:31,516 --> 00:31:35,356
Speaker 4: It's like she would say one thing and then oh,

485
00:31:35,436 --> 00:31:40,076
Speaker 4: she actually no, then say something completely opposite, and then

486
00:31:40,196 --> 00:31:43,076
Speaker 4: well doesn't that make sense? I'm like, what makes sense

487
00:31:43,116 --> 00:31:45,596
Speaker 4: to you? I want to know what makes sense to you?

488
00:31:45,796 --> 00:31:48,276
Speaker 4: Forget what makes sense to me, because at this point

489
00:31:48,316 --> 00:31:51,436
Speaker 4: nothing is really making sense to me. I genuinely started

490
00:31:51,516 --> 00:31:59,076
Speaker 4: getting scared. The fear for me was like she Oh,

491
00:31:59,156 --> 00:32:01,036
Speaker 4: it's so weird to even say this right now, but

492
00:32:01,196 --> 00:32:04,996
Speaker 4: like that she would like disappear, that she would just

493
00:32:05,116 --> 00:32:11,036
Speaker 4: like disappear and get lost, which is so crazy.

494
00:32:12,036 --> 00:32:14,356
Speaker 1: At the end of August, Hannah made plans to go

495
00:32:14,396 --> 00:32:16,516
Speaker 1: to Las Vegas with some friends.

496
00:32:17,676 --> 00:32:21,036
Speaker 4: That was the last week in a summer and I

497
00:32:21,156 --> 00:32:24,196
Speaker 4: know that because I was like, well, shit, I'm gonna

498
00:32:24,196 --> 00:32:27,956
Speaker 4: go out with a bang because I'm not drinking when

499
00:32:27,996 --> 00:32:31,916
Speaker 4: I go back to school. So me and three friends

500
00:32:32,516 --> 00:32:35,156
Speaker 4: went to Vegas. It was like for a friend's birthday

501
00:32:35,196 --> 00:32:38,516
Speaker 4: and also kind of like end of summer, let's go

502
00:32:38,876 --> 00:32:42,356
Speaker 4: party in Vegas and then get back to reality. We

503
00:32:42,396 --> 00:32:45,236
Speaker 4: went out there and my Race had asked me like, well,

504
00:32:45,276 --> 00:32:48,116
Speaker 4: I told her I was going, and she was kind

505
00:32:48,116 --> 00:32:51,156
Speaker 4: of like, oh, can I come, And for me, it

506
00:32:51,236 --> 00:32:54,836
Speaker 4: was one of those like like drama free weekends. I'm

507
00:32:54,916 --> 00:32:58,356
Speaker 4: just gonna hang out with my friends, and my Rise

508
00:32:58,396 --> 00:33:00,996
Speaker 4: at that point was already kind of like not kind

509
00:33:01,036 --> 00:33:03,756
Speaker 4: of I mean, that's when she was like scaring me,

510
00:33:04,036 --> 00:33:07,636
Speaker 4: like she was in and out of this mental state,

511
00:33:08,596 --> 00:33:11,316
Speaker 4: and to be honest, I didn't want to be around it.

512
00:33:11,476 --> 00:33:13,836
Speaker 4: I was like, I just want to go have fun

513
00:33:13,876 --> 00:33:17,316
Speaker 4: and hang out with my friends. So we drove out

514
00:33:17,356 --> 00:33:20,236
Speaker 4: to Vegas and she was texting me and like where

515
00:33:20,276 --> 00:33:22,636
Speaker 4: are you staying? Stuff like that, and I didn't tell

516
00:33:22,676 --> 00:33:24,916
Speaker 4: her and I was just like, I don't know, I'm

517
00:33:25,036 --> 00:33:25,756
Speaker 4: just hanging out.

518
00:33:27,076 --> 00:33:30,556
Speaker 1: My Terse wasn't getting the message though. In her journal,

519
00:33:30,716 --> 00:33:33,956
Speaker 1: she writes that she woke up certain that Hannah actually

520
00:33:34,236 --> 00:33:35,316
Speaker 1: did want her to come.

521
00:33:36,636 --> 00:33:39,316
Speaker 2: So somewhere around seven or eight this morning, I decided

522
00:33:39,436 --> 00:33:42,796
Speaker 2: I'm going to Vegas. I love her so much now

523
00:33:42,876 --> 00:33:45,476
Speaker 2: I want to show her. So three am we're going

524
00:33:45,556 --> 00:33:47,956
Speaker 2: to ease on down the road to a pody.

525
00:33:48,556 --> 00:33:52,116
Speaker 1: She was going to drive to Vegas after finishing her shift,

526
00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:53,996
Speaker 1: go go dancing at Debra's.

527
00:33:54,676 --> 00:33:57,716
Speaker 2: God keep my mind, lol, I don't know what I'm

528
00:33:57,716 --> 00:33:59,756
Speaker 2: gonna see down there, but can't wait.

529
00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:01,476
Speaker 3: Debra's tonight Vegas.

530
00:34:01,556 --> 00:34:06,276
Speaker 1: After here's Hannah.

531
00:34:04,916 --> 00:34:07,716
Speaker 4: And all of a sudden, I don't even know if

532
00:34:07,716 --> 00:34:09,316
Speaker 4: it was day or night, because you know, when you're

533
00:34:09,356 --> 00:34:11,796
Speaker 4: in a casino, it's like, I don't I don't know.

534
00:34:11,956 --> 00:34:15,316
Speaker 4: But I was like sitting at a slot machine or something,

535
00:34:15,396 --> 00:34:21,276
Speaker 4: and my Trees just like comes walking into the casino.

536
00:34:21,636 --> 00:34:25,236
Speaker 4: You have to understand, I was freaked out because how

537
00:34:25,276 --> 00:34:30,116
Speaker 4: can you find a singular person in Las Vegas in summertime?

538
00:34:30,516 --> 00:34:33,916
Speaker 4: Like it's crowded, there's a ton of casinos, there's so

539
00:34:33,996 --> 00:34:37,196
Speaker 4: many places we could be, and in walks my Trees.

540
00:34:37,556 --> 00:34:40,556
Speaker 4: To this day, I have no idea how she found me.

541
00:34:41,636 --> 00:34:44,356
Speaker 4: So she walks in and I'm like whoa, Like what

542
00:34:44,396 --> 00:34:47,996
Speaker 4: the hell are you doing here? Like what is going on?

543
00:34:49,076 --> 00:34:51,076
Speaker 4: And She's like I wanted to come hang out with you,

544
00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:56,476
Speaker 4: and I got all this alcohol and I'm like, unneede alcohol,

545
00:34:56,596 --> 00:34:59,236
Speaker 4: like we have we're in Vegas. Like, So I walked

546
00:34:59,236 --> 00:35:01,076
Speaker 4: with her outside and my friends were looking at me

547
00:35:01,196 --> 00:35:05,396
Speaker 4: like dude, what. So I walk out with my Trees

548
00:35:05,476 --> 00:35:09,156
Speaker 4: and she opens her trunk and it was like so

549
00:35:09,396 --> 00:35:15,436
Speaker 4: much vodka, bottles and bottles and bottles of vodka. Nobody

550
00:35:15,436 --> 00:35:18,516
Speaker 4: in their right mind could drink that much, like ever

551
00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:22,716
Speaker 4: in a lifetime. It was so much. And I was like, dude,

552
00:35:22,716 --> 00:35:26,396
Speaker 4: what are you doing driving with all that? That's crazy?

553
00:35:26,436 --> 00:35:28,356
Speaker 4: And she's like, well, I know you like vodka, and

554
00:35:28,396 --> 00:35:35,276
Speaker 4: I'm like yeah, but that's a lot. So I didn't

555
00:35:35,316 --> 00:35:38,596
Speaker 4: hang out with her. I was like, I gotta go, like,

556
00:35:38,676 --> 00:35:42,916
Speaker 4: I don't know why you came here, And there was

557
00:35:42,956 --> 00:35:44,556
Speaker 4: a part of me that felt bad, but there was

558
00:35:44,596 --> 00:35:47,596
Speaker 4: another part of me that was like that was scared.

559
00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:50,836
Speaker 4: I was scared. I don't know how she found me.

560
00:35:50,836 --> 00:35:52,956
Speaker 4: I don't know why she's here. And I already told

561
00:35:52,996 --> 00:35:55,236
Speaker 4: her I was going to go with my friends, and

562
00:35:55,276 --> 00:35:59,476
Speaker 4: then she brought all this vodka and the whole time

563
00:35:59,556 --> 00:36:02,676
Speaker 4: acting like everything she was doing was completely normal.

564
00:36:04,156 --> 00:36:07,516
Speaker 1: Vegas, Hannah says, was a turning point.

565
00:36:07,756 --> 00:36:11,276
Speaker 4: She just didn't really ever go back to the normal

566
00:36:11,356 --> 00:36:14,676
Speaker 4: my trees and I think for me it was really

567
00:36:15,636 --> 00:36:19,876
Speaker 4: difficult because I didn't know her that long and so

568
00:36:21,396 --> 00:36:24,556
Speaker 4: all I had to base it off of was these

569
00:36:24,636 --> 00:36:27,476
Speaker 4: few months. But even to me, it was so obvious

570
00:36:27,556 --> 00:36:32,876
Speaker 4: that something changed and something was going on that even

571
00:36:32,956 --> 00:36:36,156
Speaker 4: she knew, Like even she knew that it was going on,

572
00:36:36,676 --> 00:36:39,676
Speaker 4: and we would talk about it. I think until it

573
00:36:39,876 --> 00:36:44,236
Speaker 4: like really didn't go back, we didn't even talk about

574
00:36:44,236 --> 00:36:46,596
Speaker 4: it anymore. It's just like that was the new normal.

575
00:36:47,116 --> 00:36:49,676
Speaker 1: Hannah started to pull away, and it was.

576
00:36:49,676 --> 00:36:56,196
Speaker 4: Really really hard, because how can you be so worried?

577
00:36:56,236 --> 00:37:00,396
Speaker 4: About a person and at the same time scared yourself

578
00:37:00,436 --> 00:37:05,036
Speaker 4: to even be around them. I was in this place

579
00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:09,996
Speaker 4: of truly not knowing what to do, and so not

580
00:37:10,076 --> 00:37:13,316
Speaker 4: that it was the right decision, but I just started

581
00:37:13,396 --> 00:37:16,516
Speaker 4: really distancing myself because I didn't know what to do.

582
00:37:18,516 --> 00:37:22,236
Speaker 1: On September twelfth, four days before she was arrested in Malibu,

583
00:37:22,596 --> 00:37:24,436
Speaker 1: my Terse wrote in her journal.

584
00:37:25,756 --> 00:37:28,956
Speaker 2: Have you ever woke up in the morning and cried

585
00:37:29,116 --> 00:37:34,876
Speaker 2: because you knew too much? Cried because everything finally came

586
00:37:34,956 --> 00:37:38,196
Speaker 2: to light and now you see all the lost people

587
00:37:38,236 --> 00:37:44,156
Speaker 2: in the dark. It hurts the true oxymoron of bitter sweet.

588
00:37:44,636 --> 00:37:47,996
Speaker 2: And the suckiest part of all is being a normal

589
00:37:48,116 --> 00:37:50,916
Speaker 2: twenty four year old who likes to go to bed

590
00:37:51,156 --> 00:37:56,236
Speaker 2: and dream and is now always awake living visions that

591
00:37:56,276 --> 00:38:02,836
Speaker 2: were once only in dreams.

592
00:38:04,156 --> 00:38:07,516
Speaker 1: This entry is one of the most crushing. My Teres

593
00:38:07,556 --> 00:38:10,596
Speaker 1: had been a person with big dreams, Eames. Now she

594
00:38:10,636 --> 00:38:13,716
Speaker 1: felt like she was trapped inside a living vision and

595
00:38:13,796 --> 00:38:18,116
Speaker 1: all she wanted was to wake up. The day after

596
00:38:18,116 --> 00:38:20,956
Speaker 1: writing it, she went to see Hannah one last time.

597
00:38:21,876 --> 00:38:26,196
Speaker 4: I was at my apartment and it was the middle

598
00:38:26,236 --> 00:38:32,276
Speaker 4: of the day, and my Trese came over and she

599
00:38:32,556 --> 00:38:37,316
Speaker 4: was like pounding on my door and she's like, Hannah, Hannah,

600
00:38:37,516 --> 00:38:40,276
Speaker 4: open the door, Hannah. I need to talk to you, Hannah.

601
00:38:40,516 --> 00:38:42,476
Speaker 4: Because of course she was texting and calling and I

602
00:38:42,596 --> 00:38:47,556
Speaker 4: wasn't responding, and so she's knocking on my door and

603
00:38:49,556 --> 00:38:52,836
Speaker 4: I didn't answer. I didn't answer. I don't know what

604
00:38:52,916 --> 00:38:57,676
Speaker 4: she wanted. I don't know what was going on. I

605
00:38:57,796 --> 00:39:01,996
Speaker 4: know that she really probably needed me in that moment,

606
00:39:02,076 --> 00:39:05,476
Speaker 4: and it breaks my heart that I didn't answer the door.

607
00:39:06,716 --> 00:39:08,716
Speaker 4: But I didn't. And that was the last time I

608
00:39:08,756 --> 00:39:15,156
Speaker 4: saw her. I saw her through the blinds. She didn't

609
00:39:15,156 --> 00:39:16,436
Speaker 4: see me, but I saw her.

610
00:39:19,996 --> 00:39:20,756
Speaker 2: What did she look like?

611
00:39:22,396 --> 00:39:30,236
Speaker 4: Disheveled? It's almost like, see when you asked before about her,

612
00:39:31,116 --> 00:39:37,596
Speaker 4: was her physical appearance deteriorating? And I mean, I guess

613
00:39:38,676 --> 00:39:43,316
Speaker 4: during that time maybe a little bit, yeah, But for me,

614
00:39:43,436 --> 00:39:46,436
Speaker 4: it was really after Vegas that it all kind of

615
00:39:46,476 --> 00:39:47,836
Speaker 4: started going downhill.

616
00:39:51,036 --> 00:39:54,276
Speaker 1: Soon the question of my Teresa's mental health would be

617
00:39:54,276 --> 00:39:58,236
Speaker 1: at the center of an investigation into her disappearance and death.

618
00:39:59,316 --> 00:40:02,156
Speaker 1: It would be the variable that determined so much of

619
00:40:02,156 --> 00:40:05,436
Speaker 1: what law enforcement did and what they failed to do.

620
00:40:06,636 --> 00:40:08,636
Speaker 1: But to Hannah, there is no.

621
00:40:08,716 --> 00:40:17,716
Speaker 4: Question my trees changed in whole, like wholly changed, and

622
00:40:17,836 --> 00:40:20,916
Speaker 4: there was never any question in my mind that it

623
00:40:20,996 --> 00:40:24,996
Speaker 4: was something mentally going on. She was very aware that

624
00:40:25,076 --> 00:40:30,996
Speaker 4: she was struggling with mental illness. I saw it. It

625
00:40:31,076 --> 00:40:38,316
Speaker 4: was obvious. She just wasn't acting like her normal self.

626
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:42,636
Speaker 4: It changed, she changed, something changed, and it wasn't from drugs.

627
00:40:44,356 --> 00:40:47,676
Speaker 1: On September sixteenth, two thousand and nine, my Terse went

628
00:40:47,716 --> 00:40:52,276
Speaker 1: to Malibu in the midst of a severe mental health crisis,

629
00:40:52,316 --> 00:41:09,756
Speaker 1: and she never came back. Next time on Lost Hails, I.

630
00:41:09,716 --> 00:41:11,476
Speaker 5: Think the only way I will come and get her

631
00:41:11,516 --> 00:41:13,956
Speaker 5: tonight is if you guys are going to release her tonight,

632
00:41:14,236 --> 00:41:15,996
Speaker 5: you definitely have no place, you know.

633
00:41:16,036 --> 00:41:17,956
Speaker 1: I mean, she's not from that area, and I would

634
00:41:18,276 --> 00:41:22,156
Speaker 1: pay to wake up to a morning report so low

635
00:41:22,236 --> 00:41:22,836
Speaker 1: somewhere with her.

636
00:41:22,876 --> 00:41:23,756
Speaker 4: He had job dog.

637
00:41:24,156 --> 00:41:25,596
Speaker 6: I guess I would have to come and get her.

638
00:41:25,596 --> 00:41:31,036
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's next in episode three, call for Help.

639
00:41:33,596 --> 00:41:36,796
Speaker 1: Lost Tills is written and hosted by Me Dana Goodyear.

640
00:41:37,276 --> 00:41:40,876
Speaker 1: It was reported by me and Hailey Fox, our senior producer.

641
00:41:41,436 --> 00:41:45,156
Speaker 1: The show was created by me and Ben Adair. Lost

642
00:41:45,196 --> 00:41:48,636
Speaker 1: Hills is a production of Western Sound and Pushkin Industries.

643
00:41:52,876 --> 00:41:55,756
Speaker 1: Subscribe to Pushkin Plus and You can binge the whole

644
00:41:55,836 --> 00:41:59,836
Speaker 1: season right now ad free. Find Pushkin Plus on the

645
00:41:59,876 --> 00:42:03,436
Speaker 1: Lost Tails show page in Apple Podcasts, or at pushkin

646
00:42:03,556 --> 00:42:06,556
Speaker 1: dot fm, slash plus