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Speaker 1: Today, I effed up by talking about fucking in front

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Speaker 1: of my grandma.

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Speaker 2: That's not what you do, grandma. You talk about like

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Speaker 2: nice things like church or pastries.

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Speaker 1: Church and pastries are very nice things to talk about

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Speaker 1: with your grandmother.

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Speaker 3: But you're fucking cooking. How did you do it back

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Speaker 3: in the twenties, Well, I had at least four partners.

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Speaker 2: The twenties were actually a crazy time, twenties where you

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Speaker 2: were slapping the twenties, I was.

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Speaker 1: Saying bad people back in they were, if not.

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Speaker 2: Crazier, Well, forties they weren't as crazy. Sixties were a

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Speaker 2: little crazy twenties. They were a little crazy eighties, a

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Speaker 2: little crazy eighties, a little crazy.

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Speaker 1: Well, this was actually this story Sam was submitted by

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Speaker 1: green Eyed Fond twenty two to our.

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Speaker 3: Own subris Okop show.

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Speaker 1: That's right, so sending stories and we will read them

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Speaker 1: like this one. So let's get into it. This was

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Speaker 1: several years ago and I had made the post on

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Speaker 1: read it before, but my account ended up getting deleted.

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Speaker 1: This all started when I adopted this sweet, cute little puppy.

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Speaker 1: He was about four or five months old at the

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Speaker 1: time of this story, and a big goofball my sister

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Speaker 1: and I were only young teenagers at the time. I

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Speaker 1: had gone to our local Walmart and had a car

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Speaker 1: load of groceries that we had to bring in. My

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Speaker 1: sister and I brought all the items and set them

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Speaker 1: on the floor like usual. No big deal, right, No

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Speaker 1: big deal, wrong, stupid. Can't believe you would think that.

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Speaker 2: God, you disgust me and your whole family, your whole

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Speaker 2: lineage literally.

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Speaker 3: Pisss me off.

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Speaker 2: God, just stop existing. Yeah, how about you.

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Speaker 1: History.

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Speaker 2: I wish your dad and your mom never fucked. Thank you,

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't have been made. Think about that, think about

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Speaker 2: your mom and dad fucking Oh boy, I want you

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Speaker 2: to do it.

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Speaker 1: Our podcast retention is just dropped. We had finished putting

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Speaker 1: our items away and I went to grab the last bag,

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Speaker 1: but it was gone. Our dearly beloved puppy thought it

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Speaker 1: would be fun to grab it and run around the

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Speaker 1: whole house tearing it up as he thought it. It

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Speaker 1: was his polay time. Rough, stupid dog. You made me

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Speaker 1: look bad. My sister starts yelling at me, grab him,

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Speaker 1: grab him, and I'm crouched down trying to get him

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Speaker 1: to come to me, and he's just not doing it.

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Speaker 1: He just stops for a minute and then starts ripping

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Speaker 1: the plastic into pieces like a little fucking monster. I

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Speaker 1: looked at my sister and say, why don't you fucking

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Speaker 1: help me? I could grab him if you do, I

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Speaker 1: stop dead when I hear a gasp from none other

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Speaker 1: than my old, withering grandmother. She looks at me and says,

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Speaker 1: did you just say fucking? And I'm at a loss

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Speaker 1: for words, but I just.

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Speaker 3: Say, yeah, yeah, I did, Granny.

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Speaker 1: I never once said Kristen in front of my grandmama.

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Speaker 1: And she was taken aback and quickly called my aunt

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Speaker 1: up and said, your niece said fucking, And all I

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Speaker 1: could hear is laughter coming from the other end of

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Speaker 1: the phone. My sister did eventually help me and we

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Speaker 1: got the bag away from the puppy. But I've never

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Speaker 1: been so embarrassed in all of my life. It'll be

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Speaker 1: something I will never forget.

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Speaker 2: Well, you should be embarrassed, and actually you should be

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Speaker 2: ostracized through your family and completely disowned. Yes, yeah, how

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Speaker 2: dare you say the F word? How I've never said

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Speaker 2: the F word. I literally have never said fuck once.

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Speaker 1: I've never said fucking. In my hole, I.

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Speaker 2: Will literally like fuck up the person that says fucking,

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Speaker 2: because that is fucking disrespectful and I fucking can't fucking

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Speaker 2: take it anymore serious.

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Speaker 3: Fuck you to the person that says fuck.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, you know what people can fucking do, Sam, Look.

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Speaker 3: At they fucking to John.

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Speaker 1: They could go to fucking r Slash Camfy show and

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Speaker 1: fucking submit a story about fucking or something fucking else.

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Speaker 1: That's try, so go fucking do it. God fuck you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: OPI today I FD up by thinking divorce was an

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Speaker 1: April Fools gag?

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Speaker 3: What dude, how do you mess up that bad?

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Speaker 1: You know it could happen? Apparently, Opie says, let me

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Speaker 1: preface this off by blaming all of you. You. That's

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Speaker 1: your faults, the entirety of Reddit for de senseizing me

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Speaker 1: and giving me major trust issues for April Fools Day.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, here it goes. Yesterday, I got a group

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Speaker 1: text from my wife Sarah's side of the family stating

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Speaker 1: there was an emergency family meeting happening that night over

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Speaker 1: dinner at my in law's Barb's house.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I immediately had April Fool's spidy senses just starting to tingle. Okay,

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Speaker 1: because we haven't all gotten together since Christmas. But I

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Speaker 1: overlooked it and it's.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh, fun family gathering, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe not so fun. Oh no. So we

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Speaker 1: were the last to arrive and it was pretty somber

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Speaker 1: when we walked in. We all sat down at the

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Speaker 1: table and my wife's brother Tim informed the family that

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Speaker 1: his wife, Ashley, has been having an affair and they

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Speaker 1: are divorcing.

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Speaker 3: Wait, is Ashley there?

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Speaker 1: Ashley is? It seems in the room. Bro.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is some news.

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Speaker 2: I know, like in front of the whole family, and

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Speaker 2: Ashley is there.

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Speaker 1: I had the same reason, like, bro, like she's there,

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Speaker 1: like if I was who The affair was with a

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Speaker 1: longtime close family friend, Chris No, who lived of block away.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, Chris, Chris, come on, buddy. Chris's wife Jen

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Speaker 1: had caught them when she came home early one day

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Speaker 1: last week and broke the news to my brother in

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Speaker 1: law TWN.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. Both families had been friends for years,

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Speaker 1: they lived less than a block from each other, and

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Speaker 1: they have been married for fifteen plus years and have

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Speaker 1: four kids around the same name.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, dude, it's really rough there, rough out not good.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I've always thought that both of them were picture

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Speaker 1: perfect family.

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Speaker 3: I guess not so picture perfect after all.

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Speaker 1: Not so picture perfect after all. So anyways, after airing

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Speaker 1: out a lot of dirty laundry and their plane, so divorce,

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Speaker 1: how it could affect the future of family functions and

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Speaker 1: and all that, they opened it up to the group

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Speaker 1: for any question, which is also an interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like very democratic, like, yeah, they are

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Speaker 2: getting get in divorce.

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Speaker 1: Are there any questions from the Jerry meritocracy of divorce?

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Speaker 1: After they asked, there was silence, and I broke the silence.

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Speaker 3: Okay, with laughter, okay, and.

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Speaker 1: A slow class. So here's what Opie said. I said,

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Speaker 1: this was the best April Fools gag I've ever seen,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't following for it. No, please, it gets worst.

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Speaker 1: Just just buckle in, just buckle in. I told Ashley

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Speaker 1: the wife and especially Tim they need to consider going

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Speaker 1: into theater because their performances were top notch and their

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Speaker 1: tears seemed genuine.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I even April Fools.

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Speaker 1: It was April Fools on this particular, it.

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Speaker 3: Was actually April fools.

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Speaker 1: Actually just the time.

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Speaker 3: You can't break serious views on April fools.

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, oh man, so op. He goes on to say,

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Speaker 1: being the newest member of the family, my wife and

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Speaker 1: I are married six months ago, this was probably not

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Speaker 1: the thing to say in hindsight, and you know, looking back,

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Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have said anything. I agree with that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you should not have said that.

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Speaker 1: Everyone in the room looked horrified. My mother in law,

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Speaker 1: who had been crying the entire time, lost all composure.

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Speaker 1: She left the room hysterics and did not return before

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Speaker 1: we left.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not I mean, it's not because of op,

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Speaker 2: it's just because of the situation.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a combination of both. Like, like, you're

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Speaker 1: crying the whole time, and then someone just starts laughing

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Speaker 1: and slow clapping your pain. Tim just shook his head,

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Speaker 1: and his cheating wife actually led out a brief chuckle

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Speaker 1: before calling me an idiot for thinking this was a ruse.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, then berated me for being so insensitive about this.

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Speaker 1: The rest of the family sat in silence, just shaking

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Speaker 1: their heads as my wife beraided me for trying to

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Speaker 1: make a joke out of such a serious situation. Oh geez,

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Speaker 1: I am still dumbfounded in hindsight, I probably should have

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Speaker 1: sat in silence, probably, but I honestly still feel like

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Speaker 1: I was calling out an April.

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Speaker 3: I still believe it's an April. Hel Still you know.

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Speaker 1: He's like, you know what, and like it still feels

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Speaker 1: like this was a setup. Even knowing the truth, it

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Speaker 1: still felt like it was a setup. Usually the edits

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Speaker 1: that people add to these posts are not so good.

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Speaker 1: Not good. These ones, however, are probably the best I've

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Speaker 1: ever seen, so we're going to dive into them. Edit.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'll be posting the next video of

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Speaker 1: this situation anymore. So he had the recording of like

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Speaker 1: the best courarity thing. This blew up And I just

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Speaker 1: got multiple texts from my wife telling me I fed

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Speaker 1: up even more by posting this on Reddit as she

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Speaker 1: saw it on the front page.

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Speaker 3: And oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't change anyone's names. He used the cardinal

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Speaker 1: sin number one. You always change the names. Bro, Bro,

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Speaker 1: my god. All right, we got a few more. Edit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's been fun everyone. I may see you all again

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Speaker 1: next week with the Today. I fed up by making

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Speaker 1: a Today I fed up post about a divorce, ultimately

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Speaker 1: leading to my own divorce. Edit oh, this post is

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Speaker 1: going to be deleted. It's been fun. Just got home

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Speaker 1: from work and my wife is pissed. Final edit f it.

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Speaker 1: It could be me making another bad decision in a

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Speaker 1: series of bad decisions, but my wife said to leave

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Speaker 1: his post up. Apparently it further shows her family, who's

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Speaker 1: also on Reddit. How big of a dummy I am.

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Speaker 1: Thanks to everyone who said I'm not the a whole.

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Speaker 1: I may have autism, but I'm not an a whole,

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Speaker 1: so that, honestly would have been good information at the

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Speaker 1: top of the story. What a situation.

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Speaker 3: Damn, that is crazy.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I feel bad for Op for not reading

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Speaker 2: a room, but it's hard to read a room on

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Speaker 2: April fools.

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Speaker 3: Bro, Yeah, April fools.

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Speaker 1: And like he says he was, he is. He is

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Speaker 1: a redditor, so he's a re editor read ten million

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Speaker 1: April Fools jokes. And he was like, I'm proud, all right,

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Speaker 1: I ready this out. I'm not gonna get God.

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Speaker 3: But you know what you should always suss out before

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Speaker 3: you leave.

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Speaker 2: What you should suss out where that subscribe button is

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Speaker 2: and slap it's silly.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what a ladies and gentlemen, what a subscribe connection?

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Speaker 1: That one is there, We go subscribe just for the connection.