Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to
Speaker 1: What's Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a
Speaker 1: show about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and
Speaker 1: personal journeys. Together, we'll hear from Gold medalists, best selling authors,
Speaker 1: and leaders of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday,
Speaker 1: or join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her
Speaker 1: Story Podcast. Marley Matlin remains the youngest Academy Award winner
Speaker 1: ever for her Oscar for Lead Actress in Children of
Speaker 1: a Lesser God at the age of twenty one. Since then,
Speaker 1: she's become the most famous deaf actress in the world,
Speaker 1: and her latest movie, Coda, was just nominated for an
Speaker 1: Oscar on the morning of our interview. She's the author
Speaker 1: of two children's books, in an autobiography and a mom
Speaker 1: of four. Marley, congratulations on the Academy Award nominations. Not me,
Speaker 1: not me specifically, but moving your phone Coda. But it's
Speaker 1: your movie. I'm excited. I mean, it's so wonderful and
Speaker 1: and it kind of I guess we can just start
Speaker 1: back to when you first came on the world stage
Speaker 1: as an Oscar winner for children of a lesser God.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew you, and then suddenly here you were. And
Speaker 1: I remember you saying that one of the famous actors
Speaker 1: in the audience said, who the fuck is Marley Matlin?
Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, that was Danny at the at the
Speaker 1: Golden Globes. Yeah, I was at the Golden Globes. I
Speaker 1: was walking through the audience to the stage and Jack
Speaker 1: her overheard someone say who the fuck is Marley Mattlin?
Speaker 1: And I didn't hear him because I probably would have
Speaker 1: stopped right there and introduced myself. Well, and for those listen,
Speaker 1: Jack is Marley is interpreter and also probably one of
Speaker 1: her three dearest friends of her lifetime, and they have
Speaker 1: spent so many memories together and and honestly, just seeing
Speaker 1: Jack here in this interview with us is like seeing
Speaker 1: a celebrity because he's such a big part of the
Speaker 1: Marley Matlin story. Who's the three friends? Who are we
Speaker 1: talking about? Three friends that I was assuming it was Ruthie,
Speaker 1: Liz and Jack? Do I have it right? Good for you?
Speaker 1: You know, I have more book, but yeah, maybe six six? Totally? Yes,
Speaker 1: So do you want to tell everyone a little bit
Speaker 1: about those friendships and the role they've played in your life. Well,
Speaker 1: I just actually talked to Ruthie just before we had
Speaker 1: this conversation. She is now a doctor and I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of her. We've known each other for thirty five years.
Speaker 1: She is my um rock. She keeps me sane and
Speaker 1: she's real. She's a friend who isn't all about the
Speaker 1: flash of Hollywood and the industry. So she really really is.
Speaker 1: It just makes me feel normal. And I call her anytime,
Speaker 1: I mean just like that. She you know, she'll pick
Speaker 1: up the phone and she really I'm really so blessed
Speaker 1: to have her in my life, been by my side. Um.
Speaker 1: And Liz I've known since I was five, and she
Speaker 1: is amazing. She's a woman who is I mean, she
Speaker 1: has a heart of gold and her I mean, she's
Speaker 1: extremely funny. She makes me laugh and I love her
Speaker 1: family as well. And she's like a sister to me honestly.
Speaker 1: So Ruthie is my soul sister and Liz is my sister.
Speaker 1: And then there is other friends that I have to
Speaker 1: turn in the book. Alexis is one. She's I really
Speaker 1: look up to her. She's a civil rights at turn
Speaker 1: who happens to be deaf and I call her anytime
Speaker 1: that I want to discuss about politics or deaf rights
Speaker 1: or just as a girlfriend, and she is extremely smart.
Speaker 1: And then Wendy, like Ruthie, is somebody who grounds me
Speaker 1: and she's funny. So I'm fortunate to have all these
Speaker 1: people in my life. Did not begot anybody. Oh Jack
Speaker 1: my life. He makes my life easy most times the time.
Speaker 1: So when you won the Academy Award, you were also
Speaker 1: in a very intense and volatile and actually somewhat violent
Speaker 1: at times relationship with William Hurt. What was that night
Speaker 1: the highs and lows of your win actually, like, well, clearly, um, well,
Speaker 1: when I got nominated, Um, I wasn't surrounded, you know,
Speaker 1: by family or friends. I mean it was five o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I happened to be in rehab
Speaker 1: and I was getting rehabilitated for my drug addiction, my
Speaker 1: drug use, and I'm proud to say that I'm thirty
Speaker 1: five years sober in any case, but I was surrounded
Speaker 1: by people who were there for the same reason, which
Speaker 1: was to get ourselves help and support each other. A
Speaker 1: very strange situation to get nominated for an OSCAR. But
Speaker 1: you know, who knew what was going to happen when
Speaker 1: I want to set myself in there um And it's funny.
Speaker 1: When I found out that I was nominated, I was thrilled,
Speaker 1: but then the rest of the day was all about
Speaker 1: you know me and you know, doing some self analysis
Speaker 1: and not celebrating as you would if you were back home,
Speaker 1: you know, getting an Oscar nomination. So it was a
Speaker 1: little bit strange. Uh as far as I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: there was no texting back then. There was no telephones
Speaker 1: that you could text back and forth through top to friends.
Speaker 1: I didn't have anything like that. And as far as
Speaker 1: the night of the Oscars, I am, I couldn't believe
Speaker 1: who I was sitting amongst at the Academy Awards and
Speaker 1: who all these wonderful actors that I was with that
Speaker 1: I looked up to all these years. Who I mean,
Speaker 1: I had the utmost respect for Jane Fonde and Saccoony
Speaker 1: Weaver and this SPACEC and Kathleen Turner. I mean, come on,
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't believe it and all the stars
Speaker 1: that were there, and I was just a normal girl
Speaker 1: from Chicago. That's how I considered myself. And the first
Speaker 1: time that I was in that group. Yeah, being the
Speaker 1: first time we're in that group, it was, you know, winning,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, okay, wait is William her getting by saying
Speaker 1: my name in sign language? Well then I thought, now
Speaker 1: he wouldn't do that in front of all these people,
Speaker 1: in front of millions of people on television. So I
Speaker 1: was naturally shocked. I was in awe. I was a
Speaker 1: little bit petrified. And afterwards, and after I won and
Speaker 1: we got into the car, it was a whole different story.
Speaker 1: It seems like apologizing for your career to the men
Speaker 1: in your life was a very consistent theme, especially in
Speaker 1: your younger years. That's an interesting perspective, and that's a
Speaker 1: very good perspective. That meant that I was afraid to
Speaker 1: get the oscar because of him. And we all know
Speaker 1: that we don't need permission to get whatever we need
Speaker 1: to get in our lives. We don't need permission to celebrate,
Speaker 1: we don't need permission to accept the goodness that comes
Speaker 1: our way. But I was very young. I was twenty
Speaker 1: one years old. I was new to this relationship and
Speaker 1: I was just going about as I knew how, And
Speaker 1: you're right, I shouldn't have had to apologize for my win.
Speaker 1: At this point in your career, who did you talk
Speaker 1: to about your ambition? Did you have a community to
Speaker 1: talk to about your career and what you wanted? Well
Speaker 1: at that time, I I really really was fortunate that
Speaker 1: I had Henry Winkler as my mentor, as my friend
Speaker 1: some when I knew since I was twelve years old,
Speaker 1: and I made several friends along the way. Um, I
Speaker 1: mean Whoppi Goldberg was another person who was my friend.
Speaker 1: Both of them being in the business really guided me
Speaker 1: to understand how this industry works at the point where
Speaker 1: you have to deal with people who you know what
Speaker 1: you who you make called the naysayers. Listen, I was celebrated,
Speaker 1: but I was also trying to figure out how to
Speaker 1: accept the naysayers. For the morning's nominations, for example, I
Speaker 1: got texted and it was from Henry Winkler, who was
Speaker 1: supporting me along the way, supporting me as he did
Speaker 1: back then still to this day, you know, no matter
Speaker 1: what the outcome was, whether I got nominated or not.
Speaker 1: So that's what I call a true I call him
Speaker 1: a mench Really he's a match. But speaking of my community,
Speaker 1: my deaf community, I mean, listen, I was new I
Speaker 1: came from nowhere. My community was, I mean just basically Chicago.
Speaker 1: That's where I grew up. That was my little community,
Speaker 1: just just my friends. And here I am now thrown
Speaker 1: into the spotlight. And there were wonderful actors at the
Speaker 1: National Theater for the Deaf, well known actors out there.
Speaker 1: But here I came in completely new. And I had
Speaker 1: one friend who's no longer with us. His name was
Speaker 1: Bernard Bragg. He's known me since I was eight years old,
Speaker 1: and he's probably one of the most well known deaf
Speaker 1: actors around. He created the National Theater The Death with
Speaker 1: a bunch of other actors. But I really didn't have
Speaker 1: anybody in the deaf community to guide me. I really didn't.
Speaker 1: But uh, you know, I sort of had to figure
Speaker 1: it out on my own. I had a lot of
Speaker 1: learning to do. I really had a lot of learning
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm still learning the this day. Henry
Speaker 1: Winkler really was credited with discovering you. You know, too
Speaker 1: many people who are listening who might be younger. You know,
Speaker 1: he's the Fons on Happy Days. That's how our generation
Speaker 1: knows him. He's wildly famous. And he and his wife
Speaker 1: came to see you in a small Chicago theater production.
Speaker 1: What happened, well, I m was a member. I mean
Speaker 1: it was a fundraiser at this theater company that I
Speaker 1: happened to be a part of. He was doing his
Speaker 1: own thing in Chicago, supporting a documentary or a charity event,
Speaker 1: and we invited him to come and see his perform
Speaker 1: a bunch of US deaf kids, and I mean I
Speaker 1: knew Henry win Clars the Fonds and I and I
Speaker 1: had an agenda, and I said, I have to meet
Speaker 1: him because I wanted to be an actor just like
Speaker 1: him in Hollywood, just like him. So I did my
Speaker 1: thing on stage and I signed my heart out. It
Speaker 1: was called free to be You and Me and I
Speaker 1: did that and then um, right after our performance, I
Speaker 1: went up to him. I looked for him and I said, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Marley. I took this all on my own, by
Speaker 1: the way, I said, I want to be an actor
Speaker 1: who would just like you. And he said, you know
Speaker 1: what you can be, what everything and whatever you want
Speaker 1: to be, as long as you believe in yourself and
Speaker 1: follow your heart. And Stacy and Henry Winkler were nice
Speaker 1: enough to invite me to stay for the weekend after
Speaker 1: the oscars and it turned into two years. And it
Speaker 1: wasn't until they told me to clean my room that
Speaker 1: I realized I've been there too long. Uh, they're like
Speaker 1: myself and said, my husband and I got married at
Speaker 1: their house. Um, And they have such beautiful kids. They're
Speaker 1: just like family to us. And they're just the loveliest
Speaker 1: people on earth period. What's so interesting about that story
Speaker 1: is you really need it happen. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people dream of being discovered, but it was you
Speaker 1: who made sure he discovered you. I think that's a
Speaker 1: pivotal part of that story. Yeah. Absolutely, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: that's something that will forever be um. I mean, that
Speaker 1: will stay with me to know that I had the
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so grateful that I went up to him.
Speaker 1: I mean he said one thing that I think as
Speaker 1: a mentor would say. Who should say that someone who
Speaker 1: looks to them for support. You have to do the
Speaker 1: work and if you do the work, I'll back you up.
Speaker 1: But you have to do the work. You need to learn.
Speaker 1: You know your fall, you know you can get up,
Speaker 1: but you can get up only if you want to.
Speaker 1: And I mean, at the same time, he makes himself
Speaker 1: available for whatever I need, whatever advice I need, just
Speaker 1: even with a simple I love you. I mean, we
Speaker 1: we talked back and forth constantly, and I'm really really,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's important for all kids to
Speaker 1: have someone like that to support them, some sort of
Speaker 1: mentor to encourage them, whether it's a teacher or a
Speaker 1: neighbor or whomever is around and available. And in my case,
Speaker 1: I was fortunate to have an actor because that's what
Speaker 1: I want to be. But I think a mentor for
Speaker 1: everybody is important. You know, you stayed with your mentor
Speaker 1: for a while when you were still a child, and
Speaker 1: I've read that you had a complicated relationship with your mother.
Speaker 1: Have you resolved that She was always very proud of me,
Speaker 1: regardless of what I did. She was always very proud
Speaker 1: as me, as the work as an actor. She spoke
Speaker 1: to whomever she could and say this is my daughter Marley,
Speaker 1: as any parent would. She would do that both parents did.
Speaker 1: As far as resolving issues, I don't think we really
Speaker 1: really resolved it because I think we were just I mean,
Speaker 1: we just sort of went ahead with life, and you know,
Speaker 1: eventually she got dementia pretty early. She just passed away.
Speaker 1: Last October, so I don't think we really had any resolution.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I knew she meant very
Speaker 1: well as a mom. She was very protective. She knew
Speaker 1: that I was fiercely independent, and that was only because
Speaker 1: of her. It's so funny the irony in that she
Speaker 1: never held me back from doing whatever I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: whether it was to explore or to taste, or to
Speaker 1: touch or to try. She never held me back. At
Speaker 1: the same time she did to Henry Winkle, say don't
Speaker 1: encourage Marley too much, to make her think that she
Speaker 1: does have a career, that she'll get everything that comes
Speaker 1: her way so easily. And that's why Henry said, you
Speaker 1: have to work for it. And I listened to him,
Speaker 1: and I'm still working for it. One thing you also
Speaker 1: said about Henry Marley a second ago was that he
Speaker 1: said to you, you know, you know you can succeed,
Speaker 1: and you know if you fall, you can get back up.
Speaker 1: Was there ever a time in your career that you
Speaker 1: didn't want to get back up? I almost I almost
Speaker 1: threw in the towel when Rex Reed said that I
Speaker 1: was a deaf actor in a death role. So in
Speaker 1: Children of the Lesser God, So how was my win
Speaker 1: considered deserving? Because I wasn't acting and I was new
Speaker 1: to the entertainment business then, and I was green back then,
Speaker 1: and I didn't understand why he had to say that,
Speaker 1: But I understand now because he wasn't familiar with deaf actors,
Speaker 1: he was a clued in that we can be great actors.
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry that he had to say that. And
Speaker 1: now a quick break. It seems like one of the
Speaker 1: threads in your life has been that you are in
Speaker 1: both worlds. You live in the hearing world and the
Speaker 1: deaf world. And when you have tried to be an
Speaker 1: activist sometimes on behalf of the deaf community, you've gotten
Speaker 1: a lot of resentment for that. How is that played
Speaker 1: out and where where does that lie today? Well, I,
Speaker 1: I mean I grew up in both worlds, so this
Speaker 1: is something I was accustomed to. It was just the
Speaker 1: way that things were. I was the only deaf child
Speaker 1: in my family. I went to mainstream schools to both
Speaker 1: hearing and deaf kids. I had hearing neighbors. I was
Speaker 1: just a kid who loved life, who loved people, regardless
Speaker 1: of whether they were deaf or hearing, regardless of what
Speaker 1: color their skin was, regardless of what the religion was,
Speaker 1: I didn't care. I just wanted to be for ends
Speaker 1: with everybody, everybody who wanted to be friends with me.
Speaker 1: And I was very curious as a child, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to explore and I wanted to try. So I
Speaker 1: don't put myself in one category. So I think that's
Speaker 1: what some people resented. I didn't put myself in the
Speaker 1: death category. I didn't put myself in the hearing category.
Speaker 1: I just put myself in who I was. I'm in
Speaker 1: both worlds. I need both worlds, and so maybe that
Speaker 1: caused some resentment. I don't know. And what about the
Speaker 1: activism part, in terms of where you've decided to step in,
Speaker 1: I know that you were just instrumental in making sure
Speaker 1: that every press conference about COVID had signing for the
Speaker 1: hearing impaired. Where do you decide to get involved and
Speaker 1: to step back? Well, I think, I mean I understand
Speaker 1: the the advantage of of having the media available. I
Speaker 1: learned that lesson very early on. I learned that I
Speaker 1: could as an actor speak out and people would listen.
Speaker 1: And so I learned pretty quickly that what it is
Speaker 1: that I needed, I could get on my soapbox and
Speaker 1: talk about it because people knew who I was. And
Speaker 1: now with social media, with greater attention on the deaf
Speaker 1: community and people jumping in, I feel more interested in
Speaker 1: speaking out even you know, I mean I keep saying
Speaker 1: that people at the same time. Yes, I can't speak out,
Speaker 1: but now we can all do this together. And I'm
Speaker 1: fortunately have the National Association of the Death, who is
Speaker 1: a civil rights organization for deaf people. They fight for
Speaker 1: our rights, they fight on our behalf to recognize our rights.
Speaker 1: We can all do this together. I think, you know,
Speaker 1: there's the California Association for the Death. There's so many
Speaker 1: organizations and more and more deaf people are that are
Speaker 1: out there and spoken to. More than my support, I
Speaker 1: mean capturing to me. I love watching television. I've always wondered,
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be nice to have words across the screen
Speaker 1: When I was a young kid, someday I always stop
Speaker 1: that And now where we have it, so it's I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to be one of the people that stood up
Speaker 1: in front of say, for example, the Senate, to say, hey,
Speaker 1: let's do this, and they passed the law. And that's
Speaker 1: you know, that's why we have that chip and every
Speaker 1: single television set to allot for captions. It was really historic.
Speaker 1: It was really historic. So I mean, I still have
Speaker 1: a lot more to do, though. What do you wish
Speaker 1: that hearing people understood about the non hearing deaf world.
Speaker 1: I think we should first of all, learn about one another,
Speaker 1: learn about one another's cultures, learn about one another's languages.
Speaker 1: I think all of these things, and if you're talking
Speaker 1: about deaf people, we should learn about one of them. Definitely,
Speaker 1: this is a culture. The deaf community and the United
Speaker 1: States comprises a big culture. People don't realize that. Of course,
Speaker 1: I can't blame them. I can't be angry for people
Speaker 1: not understanding that. But it's a matter of educating them
Speaker 1: and opening up our lives too, to say to them,
Speaker 1: we deserve the same respect as you would give to
Speaker 1: anybody else, to any other culture. People seem to or
Speaker 1: forget that deafness is part of the diversity discussion. That's
Speaker 1: really important. You're an advocate, you're a leader. Are there
Speaker 1: any politicians that do a great job with accessibility and
Speaker 1: advocating for change on that front or do we need more?
Speaker 1: I think we need a lot more politicians to talk
Speaker 1: about accessibility to speak on our behalf, to speak about
Speaker 1: our rights, especially when it comes to interpreters and captioning,
Speaker 1: putting interpreters in White House press conferences and press briefings,
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, there needs to be a greater
Speaker 1: visibility of interpreters. I think we need greater education for
Speaker 1: accessibility for deaf kids because a lot of the language
Speaker 1: deprived and in death schools. Um. I think we need
Speaker 1: greater support in employment. Deaf people are still underemployed in
Speaker 1: the workforce, and so yeah, I mean I think we
Speaker 1: need greater and further collaboration. I want to talk about
Speaker 1: your book again because and it's called All Scream Later
Speaker 1: for those of you who have not yet read it,
Speaker 1: I think it's one of the most extraordinary autobiographies I've read,
Speaker 1: in part because I think that a lot of us,
Speaker 1: and I'll include myself in this, you assume that, let's say,
Speaker 1: your deaf, so that would be a huge part let's say,
Speaker 1: of your personality or your story. And in many ways
Speaker 1: it's a footnote. You have a very complicated, incredible personality,
Speaker 1: and you have so many layers to your story, and
Speaker 1: I feel like if more people read your story, it
Speaker 1: would really change their perspective on how you see someone
Speaker 1: who's different as defined by that difference. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'd never allow my deafness to define me. And I'm
Speaker 1: a woman who has experienced a lot of things in
Speaker 1: my life. And the reason why I decided to put
Speaker 1: this into a book was because I wanted to help
Speaker 1: those who may not have a voice and wanted them
Speaker 1: to read this book and say, oh, she's writing about
Speaker 1: this and this and that, and maybe it's time I
Speaker 1: speak up as well. And I get it. I understand
Speaker 1: that there's fear. I understand that there's there's some people
Speaker 1: experience resentment. I understand that people find themselves in situations
Speaker 1: where they I mean people who don't believe in them.
Speaker 1: I found myself in that time, in that situation many
Speaker 1: times my life where people didn't believe in me. But
Speaker 1: you know what I did, I just walked around them
Speaker 1: because I lived it. They didn't live it. Those people
Speaker 1: who who don't understand who I am. And if I
Speaker 1: can touch anybody with this book, then I know I've
Speaker 1: done a great job with the book. You are also
Speaker 1: the mother of four. What is your relationship like with
Speaker 1: your kids? Kids? Kids are what aliens. They're aliens. How
Speaker 1: old are your kids now? But I can say that
Speaker 1: I can say that because I was an alien as
Speaker 1: a child myself. We were all aliens at one time
Speaker 1: in a good way. I guess. I love my kids dearly,
Speaker 1: my God, I do. All of them are Coda's children
Speaker 1: of deaf adults. But they're all very different from each other,
Speaker 1: except they all share the same sense of humor, which
Speaker 1: I'm glad for the sense of humor. One is twenty six,
Speaker 1: one is twenty one, one is almost twenty and one,
Speaker 1: and just turned eighteen. Two girls and two boys, and
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of them. But it's interesting to watch
Speaker 1: their journey, what they go through in lives, as the
Speaker 1: different things they experience that they have, like different stages,
Speaker 1: you know, the two and the three year olds, and
Speaker 1: then the middle school ages and then the adult stages,
Speaker 1: and the decisions they have to make for themselves, and
Speaker 1: how they choose their friends, and how they choose what
Speaker 1: it is they may even do in their lives. It's
Speaker 1: so interesting to observe. And you know, me and my
Speaker 1: husband are just standing on the sidelines just watching them,
Speaker 1: and I warned them sometimes that I have that I
Speaker 1: had my life so much to live forward that they
Speaker 1: should have so much to live for that there's so
Speaker 1: much more to experience. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: we're just so very proud of them, and we're so
Speaker 1: very blessed. And who would have expected you had so
Speaker 1: many high profile romances in your life. You dated Rob Low,
Speaker 1: you lived with David Kelly. You know that I can't
Speaker 1: even touch upon all of the famous men that were
Speaker 1: part of your life. But then you ended up settling
Speaker 1: down with a police officer who you met on set.
Speaker 1: Who would have ever expected that Marley Matlin, who had
Speaker 1: this very wildlife, you know, ended up with a white
Speaker 1: picket fence and four children and a very stable marriage. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, who doesn't like a guy in uniform? Come on? Actually, actually,
Speaker 1: all the guys that I've dated, um were really very
Speaker 1: fun guys, really fun guys, and there's I'm still friends
Speaker 1: with most of them to this day. It's Kevin. Kevin
Speaker 1: is just a police officer. He just happened to be
Speaker 1: a police officer. It so happened that I was interested
Speaker 1: in criminal justice when I was in college, before I
Speaker 1: even got into the film business. And now I'm married
Speaker 1: a cop. It's just a coincidence. But he's very nice,
Speaker 1: very normal, very and he even keeled, very stable, and
Speaker 1: I learned a great deal from him every day. He
Speaker 1: is an amazing father and he really grounds me, he
Speaker 1: really does. And what was your romance like when you
Speaker 1: first met Mm hmm. I can't go into too much
Speaker 1: detail here. We have to look for the keys and
Speaker 1: the handcuffs and now a quick break, So let's talk
Speaker 1: about Coda. One of the interesting things about Koda is
Speaker 1: that it's really the story of the only hearing girl
Speaker 1: in a family where everyone else's death, and it's kind
Speaker 1: of the reverse of your experience. What was that like
Speaker 1: for you? Did you identify with her as being the
Speaker 1: only in a family? I have friends actually who are deaf,
Speaker 1: and they have siblings who happened to be hearing and
Speaker 1: the only hearing members of their families. And I remember
Speaker 1: in high school I would look at this family, and
Speaker 1: you know, every household, of course, which is has a
Speaker 1: quota is different, obviously, But at the same time, I
Speaker 1: mean what I would see as some quotas would be
Speaker 1: more than willing to interpret. Some quotas didn't even know
Speaker 1: how to sign. Some quotas were okay, but they didn't
Speaker 1: lend any assistance. There were so many different kinds of qudas,
Speaker 1: so many different family experiences, But it was interesting to
Speaker 1: play this deaf family role. For me, to have a
Speaker 1: deaf husband, it was a challenge for me, but it
Speaker 1: was fun to do the film at the same time
Speaker 1: because working with Troy and Daniel was such an absolute
Speaker 1: gift for me. Because for Troy, I've wanted to work
Speaker 1: with him for the longest time, for as long as
Speaker 1: I've known him, which is thirty years. He's probably one
Speaker 1: of the most talented actors I know out there, and
Speaker 1: he was on my bucket list. But now that little
Speaker 1: items have been checked off, and if you're talking about
Speaker 1: the filming of the film, we I mean I learned
Speaker 1: a lot getting into the character of Jackie Rossi personally
Speaker 1: as a deaf mother, learning her perspective, you know, with
Speaker 1: coming from a family of all hearing people, it was
Speaker 1: just an entirely different dynamic. But in terms of parenting,
Speaker 1: we were pretty much the same. Let we were on
Speaker 1: the same on the same track. You've said that a
Speaker 1: lot of your family members had trouble with your fame,
Speaker 1: and you know your mom at one point said that
Speaker 1: it was very hard on the family, your sudden rise
Speaker 1: to fame. How do your kids react to it? Like,
Speaker 1: do they know that you were nominated today for an
Speaker 1: Academy Award. My kids are delighted. They're thrilled to death
Speaker 1: that the film got nominated for Best Picture. He laid it,
Speaker 1: elaid it, and my kids grew up. I mean, I
Speaker 1: I always put my work hat. I left it at
Speaker 1: the office. I didn't bring it home, just like Kevin,
Speaker 1: who was a cop, never bought his work home. He
Speaker 1: never w was you know his quote unquote hath at
Speaker 1: home his cop had. So we learned how to have
Speaker 1: a good balance in things. And I honestly and probably
Speaker 1: the most unknowing mom to them, But they're still, at
Speaker 1: the very end of the day, very proud of me. Um.
Speaker 1: Now they're old enough to say, hey, take me to
Speaker 1: the Oscars. I want to go to the Golden Globes.
Speaker 1: I want to go to the And they never did before.
Speaker 1: They never did before. So just now I'm looking at
Speaker 1: my text on my screen and one of my kids said,
Speaker 1: can I be your date for the Oscars? This question
Speaker 1: just came in just now. To have any of your
Speaker 1: kids expressed interest in acting. Yes, yes, one of them
Speaker 1: now is actually, um, I wish they had hadn't really
Speaker 1: a start with school plays and they just they I
Speaker 1: mean they barely touched it up, but they really didn't
Speaker 1: delve deeply into it. One of them now is really
Speaker 1: really interested and is studying television theater right now in college.
Speaker 1: So um, you know, good for him. I hope that
Speaker 1: the only the best for him. I hope the best
Speaker 1: for every child really who wants to be an actor.
Speaker 1: You know how this industry works, and it's not easy
Speaker 1: by any means, but you know, who are we to to,
Speaker 1: you know, discourage their dreams, let them taste it, let
Speaker 1: them try it. If it works with them, great, If
Speaker 1: it doesn't, well, uh, look for something else. One of
Speaker 1: the more painful, um chapters of your story is that
Speaker 1: you were the victim of really twice, of being molested
Speaker 1: as a child. Again, you didn't let that defind you,
Speaker 1: but I wonder if that impacted then your your your
Speaker 1: role as a mom, if it made you more protective
Speaker 1: or afraid to leave your kids with a babysitter or
Speaker 1: a teacher. It did. It did affect me, It did,
Speaker 1: big time. It did, and when it comes to babysitters
Speaker 1: in particular, I am I was very, very very particular
Speaker 1: about who would watch my kids, Who were they, where
Speaker 1: do they come from? A lot of times you still
Speaker 1: don't know. People are very good at masking you know
Speaker 1: their behaviors. But I was extremely vigilant and keeping an
Speaker 1: eye on these people and my kids when they would
Speaker 1: have sleepovers at friends houses, I would always ask who
Speaker 1: is it that you're sleeping at? Whose house are you
Speaker 1: going to? And then in terms of teachers, when it
Speaker 1: came to when it came to male teacher is for
Speaker 1: my girls, I was very very I was very careful.
Speaker 1: I mean, yes, and it stayed with me. It stayed
Speaker 1: with me, It absolutely did. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I mean I lived it, I experienced it, and I
Speaker 1: prayed that my kids did not. You mentioned your bucket list.
Speaker 1: What else is on your bucket list? UM? I really
Speaker 1: want to work with actors who I've admired for many years.
Speaker 1: I want to work with Meryl Street, I really do,
Speaker 1: and I want to. Um. I mean, there's so many
Speaker 1: actors that I've found to be extremely I mean, they're
Speaker 1: just I'm always up for a challenge, you know, And
Speaker 1: there hasn't yet been an opportunity that I can work
Speaker 1: out with an A list actor to say hey, come
Speaker 1: and work with us on a project. I hope that
Speaker 1: someday I can get that call Sam. Should we do
Speaker 1: the speed round? So, Marley, we are going to ask
Speaker 1: you a few questions and you can just give us
Speaker 1: your quick answer. Is your one word or you know
Speaker 1: a few word answers? Marley? What book are you reading
Speaker 1: right now? I'm reading my kids report cards? What is
Speaker 1: your morning routine? My morning routine is get up, look
Speaker 1: at the dog and cat that are looking at me,
Speaker 1: let them out. Feed them. That's the first thing I do.
Speaker 1: Feed them, then feed myself and start off to day
Speaker 1: with red bull and make my bed. Did you say
Speaker 1: red bull? Yes? So, no coffee for you. It's my
Speaker 1: only vice. That's my only vice. I'm sober, so lin Alon, Okay,
Speaker 1: I used to drink diet coke for breakfast before I
Speaker 1: started drinking coffee. All right, Okay, so you sort of
Speaker 1: answered this and talking about your bucket list. But who
Speaker 1: leaves Zo star struck George Clooney? Have you have you
Speaker 1: met him? Oh? Yeah, obviously, I mean I talk a lot,
Speaker 1: but every time I mean, I'm just speechless. The nicest guy, really, really,
Speaker 1: really genuinely the nicest guy. So you're looking ahead at
Speaker 1: the Oscars, Now, what are you going to wear? And
Speaker 1: what how you know this is gonna be? Is this
Speaker 1: your second nomination ever? Correct? Yes it is, Um I am.
Speaker 1: I'm up for grabs. I mean, listen, if there's anybody
Speaker 1: out there who wants to give me a dress to wear,
Speaker 1: something very beautiful and comfortable at the same time, I'm
Speaker 1: up for it. I love it. Hopefully someone listening will
Speaker 1: be jumping at this opportunity. And the other thing I
Speaker 1: wonder is like the night after, what happens after the Oscars?
Speaker 1: This time is going to be so much better than
Speaker 1: your night last time. How do you picture that night
Speaker 1: unfolding and that feeling whether you win or lose, you're
Speaker 1: obviously a winner that night because I think I have
Speaker 1: such a wonderful cast, a wonderful director, we have an
Speaker 1: adapted screenplay nomination. I think it's like we're gonna just
Speaker 1: be a family together, and I have this family forever.
Speaker 1: I think we've had so much fun, and I think
Speaker 1: the night is going to be fun. And I think
Speaker 1: the night after it's gonna be fun, and we're just
Speaker 1: gonna have to figure out how to celebrate before the
Speaker 1: oscars and then after the oscars, and I think it'll
Speaker 1: all take care of itself. It all. I are not
Speaker 1: the end, but I think it's just gonna be fun.
Speaker 1: And Happy Blue has been listening to this entire conversation
Speaker 1: and he always comes in at the end with the
Speaker 1: male perspective, So lou take it away. There was something
Speaker 1: that you mentioned when when Amy asked about what can
Speaker 1: hearing people do to like, um, basically get to know
Speaker 1: or understand people who are not hearing, and you're talking
Speaker 1: about learning about the culture. And I'm and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: witnessing this right here, and I'm like, wow, there there
Speaker 1: is so much that you can do just by talking, collaborating,
Speaker 1: asking questions, any questions that you want to ask, that
Speaker 1: you would ask anybody. You don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: the fact that we're death. Really, it's it's a question
Speaker 1: you can ask anybody. If you're talking about deaf people specifically,
Speaker 1: were you can learn it, you can look into it,
Speaker 1: you can go online. There's lots of things and social media,
Speaker 1: there's Google, There's everything is out there and available for
Speaker 1: you to look into. I want, in particular, more high
Speaker 1: school students to start having the opportunity where they can
Speaker 1: learn Sun Language in school as one of their language requirements,
Speaker 1: as they would with French or Spanish or German. ASL
Speaker 1: should be an, you know, an opportunity to learn another language.
Speaker 1: I think a requirement. I think we need to start earlier,
Speaker 1: even even before you go to college, because I think
Speaker 1: Sun Language can help give them a pathway to go
Speaker 1: if they want to become an interpreter, if they want
Speaker 1: to become a teacher for deaf kids or something like that. Marley,
Speaker 1: didn't your husband learn sign language in college? Isn't that
Speaker 1: part of how you originally got together and and how
Speaker 1: he understood you? Yes? Absolutely, he um he learned instead
Speaker 1: of taking Spanish. And no offense to anybody who says
Speaker 1: that we should be learning Spanish and his family is Hispanic,
Speaker 1: but no, he wanted to take a s L and
Speaker 1: we were on a ride along. It was the first
Speaker 1: time I went on a ride along with him as
Speaker 1: a as a police officer. We were just friends and
Speaker 1: he took me along and I said something at the
Speaker 1: end of the right along. It was a big, long
Speaker 1: eight hour shift. I had a question and he signed
Speaker 1: the word yes, and I was like, hey, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: you just signed something, and he goes, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no one, and he put his hands back on the
Speaker 1: steering wheel and I busted him. But he That's when
Speaker 1: I thought, oh my man, I have to get to
Speaker 1: know him more. I mean, okay, I don't think we
Speaker 1: can say that's when I talk about Marley, but like,
Speaker 1: I would love to just like go out with Marley
Speaker 1: and have a party. You can tell she has a
Speaker 1: super fun person. I mean, I really like Marley. Can
Speaker 1: we invite her to our l a what's her story? Dinner?
Speaker 1: We are that we will someday have when the pandemic
Speaker 1: is someday over. Yes, one can dream, but I really,
Speaker 1: I mean, she's fun. And I have to say, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know Amy that I obsessed over reading every word
Speaker 1: of people's autobiographies and with with her as I woke
Speaker 1: up at five in the morning this morning to cram
Speaker 1: the rest of it. But her book was just so rich,
Speaker 1: in so many stories that we couldn't possibly have gotten to.
Speaker 1: There was just so much there. Often we interview guests
Speaker 1: and if you've read their books, I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: our interview is like a cliff notes to the book,
Speaker 1: But with Marley, I didn't feel like that at all.
Speaker 1: I felt like there is just we just scratch the surface.
Speaker 1: There's just so much to her from her super complicated,
Speaker 1: you know, early relationships, her relationship with her family, which
Speaker 1: we could have definitely dug into more, her addiction, and
Speaker 1: then her career. I think she's it in the book
Speaker 1: anytime you're not working, you're a struggling actress, and that's
Speaker 1: the mentality. Oh, that's really interesting. You know. One thing
Speaker 1: I really liked in speaking with her that was just
Speaker 1: to take away was how she talked about her kids.
Speaker 1: I feel like you and I and Marley I'll kind
Speaker 1: of think about mothering in a similar way, and that
Speaker 1: like you can tell it is an important part of
Speaker 1: her life. But she definitely sees her children as separate
Speaker 1: humans with their own lives and like she can guide
Speaker 1: them and she can be interested in what they're doing,
Speaker 1: but like it is their life, right, And we don't
Speaker 1: talk about that enough with motherhood. I think like we're
Speaker 1: expected to maybe like I don't know, like you want
Speaker 1: be one with our children, and we're not right. And
Speaker 1: I feel like that is a very modern thing. But
Speaker 1: I just loved Marley's comments about her kids and her
Speaker 1: wishes for them and hopes for them, and how she
Speaker 1: clearly has her own life and they have their own lives,
Speaker 1: and I thought that was really interesting. Yeah. No, it
Speaker 1: sounds like she's raised independent children and and what's funny
Speaker 1: is that she talks a lot about how her own
Speaker 1: mom raised her to be independent, but then part of
Speaker 1: her resented her mom for raising her almost to be
Speaker 1: too independent. Um, there were certain things that I think
Speaker 1: she wishes her mom was more nurturing about. And it
Speaker 1: is so tricky, right, We're always walking that tight rope
Speaker 1: as parents, trying to get it right, the balance between
Speaker 1: nurturing our children and letting them fly. So true, so true.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to What's Her Story with Sam and Amy.
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Speaker 1: to our producer Stacy para and our male perspective. Blue burns,