WEBVTT - Marlee Matlin 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:06.880 Hi, I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.720 What's Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:13.520 show about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:18.600 personal journeys. Together, we'll hear from Gold medalists, best selling authors, 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:23.239 and leaders of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday, 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:27.440 or join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:33.400 Story Podcast. Marley Matlin remains the youngest Academy Award winner 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:36.280 ever for her Oscar for Lead Actress in Children of 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:39.400 a Lesser God at the age of twenty one. Since then, 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:41.920 she's become the most famous deaf actress in the world, 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.120 and her latest movie, Coda, was just nominated for an 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.000 Oscar on the morning of our interview. She's the author 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:51.040 of two children's books, in an autobiography and a mom 0:00:51.080 --> 0:01:02.520 of four. Marley, congratulations on the Academy Award nominations. Not me, 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:06.479 not me specifically, but moving your phone Coda. But it's 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:12.400 your movie. I'm excited. I mean, it's so wonderful and 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.760 and it kind of I guess we can just start 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:19.920 back to when you first came on the world stage 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.880 as an Oscar winner for children of a lesser God. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.319 Nobody knew you, and then suddenly here you were. And 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.600 I remember you saying that one of the famous actors 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:33.759 in the audience said, who the fuck is Marley Matlin? 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.480 That's true. Yeah, that was Danny at the at the 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:42.119 Golden Globes. Yeah, I was at the Golden Globes. I 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:45.800 was walking through the audience to the stage and Jack 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:49.760 her overheard someone say who the fuck is Marley Mattlin? 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:54.320 And I didn't hear him because I probably would have 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:59.840 stopped right there and introduced myself. Well, and for those listen, 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:04.840 Jack is Marley is interpreter and also probably one of 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:08.880 her three dearest friends of her lifetime, and they have 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:12.720 spent so many memories together and and honestly, just seeing 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.720 Jack here in this interview with us is like seeing 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:18.520 a celebrity because he's such a big part of the 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:23.280 Marley Matlin story. Who's the three friends? Who are we 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:28.080 talking about? Three friends that I was assuming it was Ruthie, 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:36.520 Liz and Jack? Do I have it right? Good for you? 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:41.720 You know, I have more book, but yeah, maybe six six? Totally? Yes, 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.160 So do you want to tell everyone a little bit 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.560 about those friendships and the role they've played in your life. Well, 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.360 I just actually talked to Ruthie just before we had 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:55.440 this conversation. She is now a doctor and I'm so 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.480 proud of her. We've known each other for thirty five years. 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:04.799 She is my um rock. She keeps me sane and 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.480 she's real. She's a friend who isn't all about the 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:13.040 flash of Hollywood and the industry. So she really really is. 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:17.280 It just makes me feel normal. And I call her anytime, 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:21.040 I mean just like that. She you know, she'll pick 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:24.799 up the phone and she really I'm really so blessed 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:28.919 to have her in my life, been by my side. Um. 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:34.119 And Liz I've known since I was five, and she 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:37.760 is amazing. She's a woman who is I mean, she 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:42.120 has a heart of gold and her I mean, she's 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:46.200 extremely funny. She makes me laugh and I love her 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:49.360 family as well. And she's like a sister to me honestly. 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.440 So Ruthie is my soul sister and Liz is my sister. 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.520 And then there is other friends that I have to 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:58.400 turn in the book. Alexis is one. She's I really 0:03:58.400 --> 0:03:59.960 look up to her. She's a civil rights at turn 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.120 who happens to be deaf and I call her anytime 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:06.280 that I want to discuss about politics or deaf rights 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:10.880 or just as a girlfriend, and she is extremely smart. 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:15.440 And then Wendy, like Ruthie, is somebody who grounds me 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.760 and she's funny. So I'm fortunate to have all these 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:26.440 people in my life. Did not begot anybody. Oh Jack 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.640 my life. He makes my life easy most times the time. 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:36.320 So when you won the Academy Award, you were also 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:41.200 in a very intense and volatile and actually somewhat violent 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:47.800 at times relationship with William Hurt. What was that night 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:54.760 the highs and lows of your win actually, like, well, clearly, um, well, 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:59.039 when I got nominated, Um, I wasn't surrounded, you know, 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:02.800 by family or friends. I mean it was five o'clock 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.400 in the morning, and I happened to be in rehab 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:09.560 and I was getting rehabilitated for my drug addiction, my 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.360 drug use, and I'm proud to say that I'm thirty 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:16.680 five years sober in any case, but I was surrounded 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:20.279 by people who were there for the same reason, which 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:24.320 was to get ourselves help and support each other. A 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:28.080 very strange situation to get nominated for an OSCAR. But 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:29.560 you know, who knew what was going to happen when 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:36.440 I want to set myself in there um And it's funny. 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:40.040 When I found out that I was nominated, I was thrilled, 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.120 but then the rest of the day was all about 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:46.240 you know me and you know, doing some self analysis 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.320 and not celebrating as you would if you were back home, 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.680 you know, getting an Oscar nomination. So it was a 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:55.200 little bit strange. Uh as far as I mean, listen, 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.200 there was no texting back then. There was no telephones 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.359 that you could text back and forth through top to friends. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:04.760 I didn't have anything like that. And as far as 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:10.279 the night of the Oscars, I am, I couldn't believe 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.520 who I was sitting amongst at the Academy Awards and 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:16.760 who all these wonderful actors that I was with that 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.440 I looked up to all these years. Who I mean, 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:23.200 I had the utmost respect for Jane Fonde and Saccoony 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:28.840 Weaver and this SPACEC and Kathleen Turner. I mean, come on, 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.280 I just I couldn't believe it and all the stars 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:33.920 that were there, and I was just a normal girl 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:38.119 from Chicago. That's how I considered myself. And the first 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:42.039 time that I was in that group. Yeah, being the 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.279 first time we're in that group, it was, you know, winning, 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.599 I'm thinking, okay, wait is William her getting by saying 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:51.160 my name in sign language? Well then I thought, now 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:52.560 he wouldn't do that in front of all these people, 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:56.640 in front of millions of people on television. So I 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:00.200 was naturally shocked. I was in awe. I was a 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:09.120 little bit petrified. And afterwards, and after I won and 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.520 we got into the car, it was a whole different story. 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:18.200 It seems like apologizing for your career to the men 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:22.800 in your life was a very consistent theme, especially in 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:26.640 your younger years. That's an interesting perspective, and that's a 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:31.200 very good perspective. That meant that I was afraid to 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:37.160 get the oscar because of him. And we all know 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:39.520 that we don't need permission to get whatever we need 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:43.480 to get in our lives. We don't need permission to celebrate, 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:48.160 we don't need permission to accept the goodness that comes 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:51.080 our way. But I was very young. I was twenty 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:55.120 one years old. I was new to this relationship and 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:59.560 I was just going about as I knew how, And 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:02.200 you're right, I shouldn't have had to apologize for my win. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.559 At this point in your career, who did you talk 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:09.560 to about your ambition? Did you have a community to 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.160 talk to about your career and what you wanted? Well 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:16.440 at that time, I I really really was fortunate that 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.920 I had Henry Winkler as my mentor, as my friend 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.080 some when I knew since I was twelve years old, 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:29.640 and I made several friends along the way. Um, I 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.160 mean Whoppi Goldberg was another person who was my friend. 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:37.680 Both of them being in the business really guided me 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:42.280 to understand how this industry works at the point where 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:45.120 you have to deal with people who you know what 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.400 you who you make called the naysayers. Listen, I was celebrated, 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.320 but I was also trying to figure out how to 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:56.240 accept the naysayers. For the morning's nominations, for example, I 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.760 got texted and it was from Henry Winkler, who was 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.560 supporting me along the way, supporting me as he did 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:05.520 back then still to this day, you know, no matter 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.000 what the outcome was, whether I got nominated or not. 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.240 So that's what I call a true I call him 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:14.439 a mench Really he's a match. But speaking of my community, 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.040 my deaf community, I mean, listen, I was new I 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:22.600 came from nowhere. My community was, I mean just basically Chicago. 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:24.600 That's where I grew up. That was my little community, 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:26.960 just just my friends. And here I am now thrown 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:30.439 into the spotlight. And there were wonderful actors at the 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:32.760 National Theater for the Deaf, well known actors out there. 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:37.160 But here I came in completely new. And I had 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:40.240 one friend who's no longer with us. His name was 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:43.240 Bernard Bragg. He's known me since I was eight years old, 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:44.800 and he's probably one of the most well known deaf 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.800 actors around. He created the National Theater The Death with 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:49.959 a bunch of other actors. But I really didn't have 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.760 anybody in the deaf community to guide me. I really didn't. 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.080 But uh, you know, I sort of had to figure 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:56.600 it out on my own. I had a lot of 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:58.640 learning to do. I really had a lot of learning 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.000 to do, and I'm still learning the this day. Henry 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.640 Winkler really was credited with discovering you. You know, too 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:06.600 many people who are listening who might be younger. You know, 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:09.880 he's the Fons on Happy Days. That's how our generation 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:13.680 knows him. He's wildly famous. And he and his wife 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:18.160 came to see you in a small Chicago theater production. 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:23.880 What happened, well, I m was a member. I mean 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:26.160 it was a fundraiser at this theater company that I 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.680 happened to be a part of. He was doing his 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:32.480 own thing in Chicago, supporting a documentary or a charity event, 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.120 and we invited him to come and see his perform 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:36.280 a bunch of US deaf kids, and I mean I 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.840 knew Henry win Clars the Fonds and I and I 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:40.760 had an agenda, and I said, I have to meet 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:42.520 him because I wanted to be an actor just like 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:47.160 him in Hollywood, just like him. So I did my 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.960 thing on stage and I signed my heart out. It 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.199 was called free to be You and Me and I 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:56.960 did that and then um, right after our performance, I 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.760 went up to him. I looked for him and I said, Hi, 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:00.800 I'm Marley. I took this all on my own, by 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.480 the way, I said, I want to be an actor 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.400 who would just like you. And he said, you know 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.360 what you can be, what everything and whatever you want 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:07.800 to be, as long as you believe in yourself and 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:12.480 follow your heart. And Stacy and Henry Winkler were nice 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.960 enough to invite me to stay for the weekend after 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:18.120 the oscars and it turned into two years. And it 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.640 wasn't until they told me to clean my room that 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:21.800 I realized I've been there too long. Uh, they're like 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:25.520 myself and said, my husband and I got married at 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:30.120 their house. Um, And they have such beautiful kids. They're 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.600 just like family to us. And they're just the loveliest 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.480 people on earth period. What's so interesting about that story 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.600 is you really need it happen. I think a lot 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:41.360 of people dream of being discovered, but it was you 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:45.360 who made sure he discovered you. I think that's a 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:48.480 pivotal part of that story. Yeah. Absolutely, I mean, that's 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.920 that's something that will forever be um. I mean, that 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.560 will stay with me to know that I had the 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:57.600 I mean, I'm so grateful that I went up to him. 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.440 I mean he said one thing that I think as 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.439 a mentor would say. Who should say that someone who 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.480 looks to them for support. You have to do the 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.880 work and if you do the work, I'll back you up. 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:12.840 But you have to do the work. You need to learn. 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.320 You know your fall, you know you can get up, 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.240 but you can get up only if you want to. 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.760 And I mean, at the same time, he makes himself 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.600 available for whatever I need, whatever advice I need, just 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.640 even with a simple I love you. I mean, we 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:32.040 we talked back and forth constantly, and I'm really really, 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.640 I mean, I think it's important for all kids to 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:36.800 have someone like that to support them, some sort of 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.600 mentor to encourage them, whether it's a teacher or a 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:43.839 neighbor or whomever is around and available. And in my case, 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:45.440 I was fortunate to have an actor because that's what 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.079 I want to be. But I think a mentor for 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.880 everybody is important. You know, you stayed with your mentor 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.160 for a while when you were still a child, and 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:55.320 I've read that you had a complicated relationship with your mother. 0:12:56.240 --> 0:13:00.000 Have you resolved that She was always very proud of me, 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:04.240 regardless of what I did. She was always very proud 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.800 as me, as the work as an actor. She spoke 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.880 to whomever she could and say this is my daughter Marley, 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.280 as any parent would. She would do that both parents did. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:19.320 As far as resolving issues, I don't think we really 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:25.000 really resolved it because I think we were just I mean, 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.880 we just sort of went ahead with life, and you know, 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:32.320 eventually she got dementia pretty early. She just passed away. 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:37.520 Last October, so I don't think we really had any resolution. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:40.000 But at the same time, I knew she meant very 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:43.679 well as a mom. She was very protective. She knew 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.800 that I was fiercely independent, and that was only because 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:51.200 of her. It's so funny the irony in that she 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:53.360 never held me back from doing whatever I wanted to do, 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.480 whether it was to explore or to taste, or to 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.920 touch or to try. She never held me back. At 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.720 the same time she did to Henry Winkle, say don't 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.920 encourage Marley too much, to make her think that she 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.800 does have a career, that she'll get everything that comes 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.560 her way so easily. And that's why Henry said, you 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.319 have to work for it. And I listened to him, 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:15.640 and I'm still working for it. One thing you also 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:19.160 said about Henry Marley a second ago was that he 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:22.240 said to you, you know, you know you can succeed, 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.440 and you know if you fall, you can get back up. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:26.720 Was there ever a time in your career that you 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:31.760 didn't want to get back up? I almost I almost 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:34.480 threw in the towel when Rex Reed said that I 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:37.640 was a deaf actor in a death role. So in 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:39.960 Children of the Lesser God, So how was my win 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:45.400 considered deserving? Because I wasn't acting and I was new 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.600 to the entertainment business then, and I was green back then, 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.600 and I didn't understand why he had to say that, 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:59.200 But I understand now because he wasn't familiar with deaf actors, 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.880 he was a clued in that we can be great actors. 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.440 And I'm sorry that he had to say that. And 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:10.880 now a quick break. It seems like one of the 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:14.640 threads in your life has been that you are in 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:17.720 both worlds. You live in the hearing world and the 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.960 deaf world. And when you have tried to be an 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:25.400 activist sometimes on behalf of the deaf community, you've gotten 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.920 a lot of resentment for that. How is that played 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:32.600 out and where where does that lie today? Well, I, 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:34.800 I mean I grew up in both worlds, so this 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:36.800 is something I was accustomed to. It was just the 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:38.960 way that things were. I was the only deaf child 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:42.440 in my family. I went to mainstream schools to both 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.880 hearing and deaf kids. I had hearing neighbors. I was 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:51.479 just a kid who loved life, who loved people, regardless 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.480 of whether they were deaf or hearing, regardless of what 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.320 color their skin was, regardless of what the religion was, 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.200 I didn't care. I just wanted to be for ends 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.120 with everybody, everybody who wanted to be friends with me. 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:07.000 And I was very curious as a child, and I 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:12.200 wanted to explore and I wanted to try. So I 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:16.360 don't put myself in one category. So I think that's 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.240 what some people resented. I didn't put myself in the 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.320 death category. I didn't put myself in the hearing category. 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:21.960 I just put myself in who I was. I'm in 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.760 both worlds. I need both worlds, and so maybe that 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.280 caused some resentment. I don't know. And what about the 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:31.120 activism part, in terms of where you've decided to step in, 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.920 I know that you were just instrumental in making sure 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:37.800 that every press conference about COVID had signing for the 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.600 hearing impaired. Where do you decide to get involved and 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:45.520 to step back? Well, I think, I mean I understand 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:50.920 the the advantage of of having the media available. I 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.920 learned that lesson very early on. I learned that I 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:58.800 could as an actor speak out and people would listen. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.080 And so I learned pretty quickly that what it is 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.159 that I needed, I could get on my soapbox and 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.560 talk about it because people knew who I was. And 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:13.120 now with social media, with greater attention on the deaf 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.760 community and people jumping in, I feel more interested in 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.600 speaking out even you know, I mean I keep saying 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.960 that people at the same time. Yes, I can't speak out, 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:23.320 but now we can all do this together. And I'm 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:26.560 fortunately have the National Association of the Death, who is 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:30.119 a civil rights organization for deaf people. They fight for 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.520 our rights, they fight on our behalf to recognize our rights. 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.399 We can all do this together. I think, you know, 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:39.960 there's the California Association for the Death. There's so many 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.359 organizations and more and more deaf people are that are 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:45.320 out there and spoken to. More than my support, I 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:49.440 mean capturing to me. I love watching television. I've always wondered, 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.080 wouldn't it be nice to have words across the screen 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:54.160 When I was a young kid, someday I always stop 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.400 that And now where we have it, so it's I'm 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.600 grateful to be one of the people that stood up 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.400 in front of say, for example, the Senate, to say, hey, 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.560 let's do this, and they passed the law. And that's 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.080 you know, that's why we have that chip and every 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.520 single television set to allot for captions. It was really historic. 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.679 It was really historic. So I mean, I still have 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.040 a lot more to do, though. What do you wish 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:22.040 that hearing people understood about the non hearing deaf world. 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:26.280 I think we should first of all, learn about one another, 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.800 learn about one another's cultures, learn about one another's languages. 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.440 I think all of these things, and if you're talking 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.800 about deaf people, we should learn about one of them. Definitely, 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.160 this is a culture. The deaf community and the United 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.520 States comprises a big culture. People don't realize that. Of course, 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.840 I can't blame them. I can't be angry for people 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:45.680 not understanding that. But it's a matter of educating them 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.480 and opening up our lives too, to say to them, 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:52.000 we deserve the same respect as you would give to 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:55.040 anybody else, to any other culture. People seem to or 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:59.760 forget that deafness is part of the diversity discussion. That's 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:03.000 really important. You're an advocate, you're a leader. Are there 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:07.159 any politicians that do a great job with accessibility and 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.480 advocating for change on that front or do we need more? 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:12.520 I think we need a lot more politicians to talk 0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:15.400 about accessibility to speak on our behalf, to speak about 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:18.440 our rights, especially when it comes to interpreters and captioning, 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.919 putting interpreters in White House press conferences and press briefings, 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:25.639 whatever it may be, there needs to be a greater 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:29.960 visibility of interpreters. I think we need greater education for 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:32.840 accessibility for deaf kids because a lot of the language 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:36.120 deprived and in death schools. Um. I think we need 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:40.920 greater support in employment. Deaf people are still underemployed in 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:45.080 the workforce, and so yeah, I mean I think we 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.880 need greater and further collaboration. I want to talk about 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:51.560 your book again because and it's called All Scream Later 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:53.479 for those of you who have not yet read it, 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:58.560 I think it's one of the most extraordinary autobiographies I've read, 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.960 in part because I think that a lot of us, 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:09.200 and I'll include myself in this, you assume that, let's say, 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:12.160 your deaf, so that would be a huge part let's say, 0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:15.440 of your personality or your story. And in many ways 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:21.440 it's a footnote. You have a very complicated, incredible personality, 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:26.040 and you have so many layers to your story, and 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:29.840 I feel like if more people read your story, it 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:34.000 would really change their perspective on how you see someone 0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:38.480 who's different as defined by that difference. Well, I mean, 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:43.880 I'd never allow my deafness to define me. And I'm 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:48.840 a woman who has experienced a lot of things in 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:53.960 my life. And the reason why I decided to put 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:57.840 this into a book was because I wanted to help 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:02.920 those who may not have a voice and wanted them 0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:06.440 to read this book and say, oh, she's writing about 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:09.040 this and this and that, and maybe it's time I 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:11.840 speak up as well. And I get it. I understand 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:15.639 that there's fear. I understand that there's there's some people 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:19.720 experience resentment. I understand that people find themselves in situations 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:22.280 where they I mean people who don't believe in them. 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.080 I found myself in that time, in that situation many 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:27.960 times my life where people didn't believe in me. But 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:30.200 you know what I did, I just walked around them 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:33.440 because I lived it. They didn't live it. Those people 0:21:33.480 --> 0:21:37.080 who who don't understand who I am. And if I 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:38.879 can touch anybody with this book, then I know I've 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:41.119 done a great job with the book. You are also 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:45.800 the mother of four. What is your relationship like with 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:58.640 your kids? Kids? Kids are what aliens. They're aliens. How 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.359 old are your kids now? But I can say that 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.800 I can say that because I was an alien as 0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:08.240 a child myself. We were all aliens at one time 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:12.719 in a good way. I guess. I love my kids dearly, 0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:17.159 my God, I do. All of them are Coda's children 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.520 of deaf adults. But they're all very different from each other, 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:23.600 except they all share the same sense of humor, which 0:22:23.600 --> 0:22:29.000 I'm glad for the sense of humor. One is twenty six, 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:30.920 one is twenty one, one is almost twenty and one, 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:36.240 and just turned eighteen. Two girls and two boys, and 0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:40.480 I'm so proud of them. But it's interesting to watch 0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:43.520 their journey, what they go through in lives, as the 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:47.439 different things they experience that they have, like different stages, 0:22:47.840 --> 0:22:49.439 you know, the two and the three year olds, and 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:52.560 then the middle school ages and then the adult stages, 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:54.720 and the decisions they have to make for themselves, and 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:57.080 how they choose their friends, and how they choose what 0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:59.200 it is they may even do in their lives. It's 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:02.000 so interesting to observe. And you know, me and my 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:05.720 husband are just standing on the sidelines just watching them, 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:10.720 and I warned them sometimes that I have that I 0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:13.000 had my life so much to live forward that they 0:23:13.040 --> 0:23:14.879 should have so much to live for that there's so 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:17.560 much more to experience. But at the end of the day, 0:23:17.600 --> 0:23:19.000 we're just so very proud of them, and we're so 0:23:19.160 --> 0:23:22.199 very blessed. And who would have expected you had so 0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:26.520 many high profile romances in your life. You dated Rob Low, 0:23:26.720 --> 0:23:30.359 you lived with David Kelly. You know that I can't 0:23:30.400 --> 0:23:33.960 even touch upon all of the famous men that were 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.840