1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Bombing with Eric Andre, the podcast where I 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative people about 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: their worst moments on stage, eating shit and feeling like shit. 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: I'm Eric and Andre, and this week we are graced 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: by the presence of one of the funniest people on 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 1: the planet, Step Tolev. We go way too deep into 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,639 Speaker 1: step sex, life on the road, and the time she 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: got chased away from a comedy club by a man 9 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: with not one but two guns on his person. Let's 10 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: get into it. 11 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 2: Bombing Balming with Aeric Anddre. 12 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: Okay, what is the hardest you've ever bombed? What's the 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: worst bomb you've seen? What's the worst bomb? What's the 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 1: other question to ask? What's the most waste that you've 15 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: been on stage? You can answer these in any any order. 16 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 3: I bomb all the time. 17 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 1: What's like one of the words give me the rock bottoms? 18 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 4: Rock? 19 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 3: What are the rock bottoms? 20 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: What happened in Tampa? Oh Tampa was shit? Oh? Rock bottom? 21 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 4: I would say, I just go bas to the comedy store. Okay, 22 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 4: this is last year, last last New Year's Eve because 23 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,279 Speaker 4: a recent bomb, oh yeah, and a last the year 24 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 4: for I guess it's been over year. She just got 25 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,199 Speaker 4: past first main room spot. 26 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 3: I ate my own ass? 27 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: What do you mean? 28 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 4: I like didn't get a single laugh in fifteen minutes, 29 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, I think I'm good enough 30 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 4: for the comedy store. 31 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: Yeah I'm But what night was? Was it like a Monday? 32 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 4: It was New Year's If people were writing a party, 33 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 4: they were ready to get drunk, and I'm up there 34 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 4: eating ships? 35 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: Was the person before you good? Doing good? Yeah? 36 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 2: Oh yeah? 37 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 3: Everyone else? 38 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:25,479 Speaker 4: So well? 39 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 3: Everyone else? 40 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 4: Well, I just the fucking I bought my taping and 41 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 4: I just relaughed. I was bombed a one of those 42 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:33,680 Speaker 4: stupid fucking TV tapings. 43 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: I think you're hard on yourself. Can I put my 44 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: feet up? 45 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 4: Please? With my just my I was waiting for at 46 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 4: least there's socks on Eve the low ankle socks too? 47 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 2: Whatever? 48 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: Why I do? I don't know. 49 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 3: Whatever I ever. I got a fuck a guy and 50 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 3: he has angle socks. 51 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 4: It makes me sick. 52 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 3: I don't know what it is. It's just such a 53 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 3: turn off. 54 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: But I wanted to be No, look, I don't want 55 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: I don't want you to see him. What shoes in 56 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: the shoes? 57 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 2: Well? 58 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: I got lazy. Yeah, before I had shoes on. 59 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 4: Okay, do you have an animal? Do a cat? 60 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: I have no cat, so just the random hair on 61 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: my sock. Your socks are bomber. 62 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 4: Right now, your socks are eating show. 63 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: Okay, wait, give me like some horrid bombs. 64 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 4: I want to hear horrid bombs. Okay, I uh. I 65 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 4: did this competition in Toronto years ago. Yuck, yucks, great 66 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 4: Canadian comedy. 67 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: We used to have a song where to go yet 68 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: get comedy? Cla No, I go to yea, yeah comedy. 69 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 4: It was a competition. I drove two other contestants in 70 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 4: my car. Poor my parents car. Three hundred fifty people 71 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 4: sold out. I don't get one laugh. 72 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 1: Well, your parents were there, No, I bored their car. 73 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 4: This is in Toronto. I had bore their fucking car. 74 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 4: I go up eat ship so bad. The comic whose 75 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 4: hosting goes after me goes. 76 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: Holy shit. 77 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,399 Speaker 3: That was fucking bad. 78 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 2: And I was. 79 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 4: Like, like when a comic says something you that's when 80 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 4: you know it's bad. I went and cried in the 81 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 4: parking lot because I had to drive you the two 82 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 4: homes first and second. They got first and second. I 83 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 4: had to drive home the people who got first and 84 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 4: see in the competition. Well, I ate ship because this 85 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 4: was the car I drove them bombed and had to 86 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 4: drive them home. You know what fuck that is? That's 87 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 4: fucked you, Carl the second and they were like, the 88 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 4: knew I was upset. They get in the car the 89 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 4: bags or my eyes are puffed out the hell and 90 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 4: they're in the box eat They're like and they couldn't 91 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 4: even get excited about it because they knew how sad 92 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 4: I was. It was so pathetic, it was so bad. 93 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 4: Well not I just this was like Newer two, so 94 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 4: it wasn't good. Taping recently, do you know those Don't 95 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 4: Tell tapings that are great? I love Don't Tell, but 96 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 4: I Don't Tell comedy They are very good because the 97 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 4: crowd doesn't know whatever. So it's the taping downtown l A. 98 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 4: And this is literally a month ago, and I'm like, 99 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 4: cocky sse have been the line up. I don't writ 100 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 4: comments like I'm gonna kill us five or six cameras. 101 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 4: I'm ready to go. 102 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: What is it for? 103 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 4: They put it online? They have a huge online Don't 104 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 4: Tell They're huge. They like produce specials, they do tape 105 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 4: and they have like a huge Instagram. All the people's 106 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 4: clip viral. It's really great for your I'm out of touch. 107 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: I'm really out of touch. I'm like on YouTube, dot com, 108 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: dot org, you have no idea what you're looking for. 109 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 4: So I go to this taping smug smug. I go 110 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 4: on fourth fifth, I'm like. 111 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:17,559 Speaker 3: The money spot. 112 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 4: I walk on and I'm like, hey, and I came up. 113 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 4: Pretty hot girl in the front goes and I go 114 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 4: what I. 115 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 3: Go, I'm sorry, did I scare you? 116 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 4: She's like yeah, and then her and her six friends 117 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 4: like start pointing laughing at me, and I was like, okay. 118 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 4: So I'm like, all right, strange. So I'm like, immediately 119 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 4: be this weat. I'm like, oh, this started off. 120 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: Shook me. 121 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 4: So I'm like, let mebe do a bit of crowd 122 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 4: work to get loosen them up. I go, look at 123 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 4: the front road forehead fucking hates me. Guys got the 124 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 4: biggest forehead I've seen in my entire life. Like it 125 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 4: starts here, it goes to the back of his head. 126 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 4: Foreheads like this, some of the backs like boo. 127 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my, off the jump, off the jump, 128 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: off the jump. 129 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 4: I found it after the forehead guy it's his art 130 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 4: studio we're filming in so I'm ship on the guys. 131 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: The master of ceremonies. 132 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 4: Yes, So I had to get off stage and tell 133 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 4: them to delete the footage. I couldn't even get a 134 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 4: thirty second clip out of it. 135 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: And this just happened. 136 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 3: That's another horrible, another bad one. 137 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: Why is the guy who's running the thing sit in 138 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 1: front row? 139 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 4: And if you have a forehead that big covered up? 140 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 4: It was it's like, or get awake, I don't know 141 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 4: what it's. 142 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: Telling put on the andy WARHOWI or just get don't 143 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: sit front row center, arms folded? 144 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, And it was he was much older everybody else. 145 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 4: So I'm like, of course I got to talk to 146 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 4: the guy who shouldn't be here is well, there's a 147 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 4: very young crowd there is what old man? 148 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 3: I'm like, what's he doing here? 149 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 4: Something was weird? 150 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: Why did the girl say. 151 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, just terrified my presence. I walked on and she 152 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 4: was like disgusted by me. And then there's a couple 153 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 4: beside me and I was making fun of short guys 154 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 4: and he was. 155 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 3: Like, I'm five six, what of it. I'm like, I've 156 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 3: already buried myself a sweat. 157 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 1: Jumping down me first, then you can't, and you just like, 158 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,559 Speaker 1: I can't recover. 159 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 4: I can't recover. 160 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: I can't recover. Then you're like then you're disassociating. 161 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 4: And then oh yeah, and then I'm like, I'm like trying. 162 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 4: At this point I knew I wasn't even to use 163 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 4: a tape, so I was like trying. I should have 164 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 4: just gone completely off the rails, but I was like 165 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 4: so embarrassed right off, eyes welded up with tears. Also 166 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 4: like it I'm embarrassed in front of people I know 167 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 4: who've seen me do well, that's tough. I did the lab, 168 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 4: the improv lab, which is one of the worst rooms 169 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 4: in the fucking country. 170 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: Everyone says it's so bad the laboratory. It's the lab experiments. 171 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 3: And just put them up that would be more entertaining. 172 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: There's a curse over that room. Has anyone ever crushed 173 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: ever in that room? 174 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 4: I think you get like a glimpse every once in 175 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 4: a while, you have like one good set and you. 176 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: Think, aparently fucked about that room. I think what it is. 177 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: I think that people are like, I'm going to a 178 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 1: comedy club, let me just go get a drink at 179 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 1: a bar first. Oh wait, there's a comedy show at 180 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 1: the bar before the show too, huh, And they're like 181 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: they're not mentally prepared. No, there's something that doesn't work 182 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: in that room and has never no. 183 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 3: Because the bar is there, it's all open. 184 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 4: No, it's no one has so this night specifically, I 185 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 4: go up when I say I eat shit so hard. 186 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 4: There's a guy, Nick Harris, is a manag right here 187 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 4: who like brings it up. He's like, that was the 188 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 4: funniest bomb seeing like when you see something bomb that bad, 189 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 4: do you remember it? Like it's a nice memory for him. 190 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 4: I bomb so bad ten minutes. No, well, not even 191 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 4: like and usually it's like you can get a laugh, 192 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 4: zero laughs. It's my buddy jack Fink show. I love 193 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 4: Jackie always throws me up. I was like, I bomb 194 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 4: so bad. At the end of my set, I but 195 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 4: the mic and stand. I went, I'm on fucking Netflix, 196 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 4: Like you know what's bad when you bring your credits out? 197 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 4: And I went well, and I was like, I go 198 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 4: off and Anthony doesn't come up behind me and he 199 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 4: grabs my heels that right there is a woman having 200 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 4: a mental breakdown. And then that didn't even get a laugh. 201 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 4: And I was like, Okay, this room was fucked, like 202 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 4: this guy's shitting on me, and you guys. 203 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: Are still like curs. 204 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't worry about that, But I take I 205 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 4: take bombs still to heart, like if I. 206 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: Don't marger, why not you have to. 207 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 4: You can't get better if you're fucking walking around these 208 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 4: comics eating shit all the time, thinking they're fucking somebody when. 209 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, here's the mother success. What is like a bomb 210 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: that you remember in your early days? I went like, 211 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: details has anybody ere like thrown something at you or 212 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: have you ever gotten like a standing boovation? 213 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 2: No? 214 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: I had walk out. 215 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 4: Oh I had to walk out in North Carolina recently 216 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 4: at the Improv. It's very large improv, five hundred theater. Yeah, 217 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 4: I sell five hundred carry North Carolina. Okay, I'm up 218 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 4: for fifteen minutes. Just the front sold out and I 219 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 4: sold out. 220 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 3: I mean spars, spars. 221 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:26,239 Speaker 4: We can hear an older couple ten minutes in dislikes it. Yeah, 222 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 4: they start packing up. When you bomb in a room 223 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 4: that's that big, you see them leave for a very 224 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 4: long time. Yeah, I'm standing there six minutes there's still 225 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 4: she has all her stuff out of her purse. 226 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's putting her coat over shoulders. 227 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 1: Can't And I'm trying to your mom because wow, what 228 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 1: are you thinking about? 229 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 4: Oops's that's why you're so hungry? 230 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:51,839 Speaker 1: You want to think. 231 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 3: God, I am famished, I'm exhausted. 232 00:08:54,960 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: From fu mom backflips, what's this? I'm so add I'm hungry. 233 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 4: I'm hungry. 234 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: Start sucking on a wire. 235 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 4: I'm hungry. 236 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 3: Earliest bombs my first set ever. 237 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 4: I bombed. 238 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: Have your bombed in front of your parents? Oh? 239 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 4: Yeah? 240 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: Really that's the worst. 241 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 4: It's because then they're like, yeah, why are you doing this? 242 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 4: You fucking failure. 243 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: I rather bomb in front of a fucking soccer stadium 244 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,599 Speaker 1: in Cape Town, South Africa than bomb in front of 245 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 1: my parents. 246 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 4: Have you bombed from your parents? 247 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: I think I've only bombed in front of my parents. 248 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: I don't think I ever did well in front of 249 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: my parents. They there's such an immense pressure. Is like 250 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: the comedy lab of Pressures or Melrose whatever it's called 251 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: improp lab. Yeah, you're maybe the health department should condemn 252 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:38,839 Speaker 1: the improv lab. 253 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 4: We should get if everyone's listening right now, the Health 254 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 4: department to go, they sell no food, You've got to go. 255 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: When they were check it out. 256 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 4: So the next time I go, just hide them in 257 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 4: my ass. Oh my ass up one bombing. 258 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:51,679 Speaker 3: No, they've seen me. 259 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 4: I used to. There used to be every every like 260 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 4: the first five years I bombed, and they'd come all time. 261 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 4: I used. I started an improv too, so they'd come 262 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 4: watch me early. That's really improv I saw recently. Yeah, 263 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 4: I just went to an improv show last week. From 264 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 4: my friend. 265 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 3: I was being nice, yeah, never again, I'll never go 266 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 3: to the pro show. 267 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 2: You can't. 268 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 4: And somebody recognized me and then they were like is 269 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 4: that Steph told and my friends was on the show. 270 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 4: She's like, don't look at her because she's not gonna laugh. 271 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 4: I was like this, pissed that I was there second 272 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 4: row arms cross asking for suggestions. Guys like for you, 273 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 4: you have something to say, and I was like, no, 274 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm not giving you guys suggestions. You're bad. 275 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: Improv is so bad. 276 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 4: Improv's way worse than somebody bombing during stand up, isn't it? 277 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 3: It has to be. 278 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: It's like insane. You feel like your brain's bleeding, like 279 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: you like overdosed on robotest and you're like, what is this. 280 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 1: It's like German Art House Theater. Oh yeah, what is 281 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: going on? You can't believe it. 282 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 4: No, people are laughing because they bring friends. It's all 283 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 4: like bring her stuff. 284 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: I've seen one with the Only ones I've seen are 285 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: just zero laugh bomb faster are horrible. I rarely have 286 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 1: seen like ones that are like, yeah, blowing the roof off. 287 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 3: Especially like Newhere. It was like a school show and 288 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 3: I was horrendous. 289 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: Crime against your man. Close it up, close up. What 290 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: about bombing on a date? I remember me and Sarah 291 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: Squirm ran into you at the airport in like fucking Sydney, 292 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: Australia or something. 293 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 3: It was in Vancouver. 294 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: Was Vancouver. It was hammerd Yeah, you were hammered and 295 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: you were like on a bender. You're like some guy 296 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,599 Speaker 1: in the bushes at a wedding. 297 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 4: Like Jersey guy off and eat me out on a bench. 298 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no I was. 299 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 3: I saw you guys. I bombed that wedding. 300 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 4: I okay, you know that actually actually okay, So I 301 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 4: went off. 302 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 3: It was at the end of the night and. 303 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 4: Me and him were clear the other people that weren't 304 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 4: getting fox, so we literally did the whole. 305 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 3: I guess like everybody else is gonna suck us. So 306 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:41,559 Speaker 3: we went up to this. 307 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 1: Bench where like he wasn't George Clue. He was aged 308 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: like a bad white. 309 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 4: It wasn't good. So I took him out to this 310 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 4: bench because we didn't have a room. We were the 311 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 4: old romantic band, Tip of the Tip of the Hill. 312 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 4: So I jerked him off, meet me out. I'm not 313 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 4: gonna fuck him. I'm not a pig, so we go. 314 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 4: So the worst one was I was so drunk and 315 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 4: I was like, there's a little hill. I'm like, it 316 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 4: was gonna be funny if we rolled down the hill together. 317 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 4: And he's like what And then I rolled down the 318 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 4: hill and he watched disgusted. 319 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 3: He's like, I say this one pussy, I rolled down. 320 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 4: Covered in grass. So yeah, I was just fucking flipping 321 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 4: full dress. 322 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: Glass. You rolled all the way to the airport, yeah, Sarah, 323 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 1: I almost should have. We go back. 324 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 4: So everyone's in like the Honeymoon's wee thrill partying and 325 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 4: we're the only two people not there. I think he 326 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 4: was part of the wedding party. So we come back 327 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 4: in and I'm covered in grass, soaking wet, and I 328 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 4: was like. 329 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 1: Where were you guys? I go I just jerked off 330 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,319 Speaker 1: your buddy on the bitch, you. 331 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 4: Know, for everybody, whole room movie is god disgusted, disgusted, 332 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 4: not one laugh. 333 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm bombing. 334 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm bombing. 335 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 4: And then I saw you. 336 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 3: I was so drunk at the airport. Holy fuck, I 337 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 3: can't believe. 338 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: On the plane, like you were like walking on Sunshine's 339 00:12:58,640 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: still drunk. 340 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 4: Watch wow, I think you're like, can I remember You're 341 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 4: mentally I think something. 342 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,079 Speaker 1: It was like a comedy show, like in a hallway 343 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: at an airport. I was like, I was so entertaining 344 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: black turned this guy off. He ain't push the arrow. 345 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 2: Down the hill. 346 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: Now I'm here. I was like it was sea. Literally 347 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: was first sip of coffee. 348 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 3: I was like, wait what, I was so mentally ill. 349 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: No, and then me and Sarah were like you're the 350 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: fucking best you here, like this woman's sick. 351 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:32,440 Speaker 4: No. 352 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: We were like we were like obsessively. We were already 353 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: we already loved your comedy, but we were like obsessed 354 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: after that. She's fucking living it, man, Oh I'm living it. 355 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 3: I had sex this weekend in Tampa. I'm living it. 356 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: I'm just do you get laid every show? 357 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 3: No? I get laid on the road. 358 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 4: I can't. I can't pull anything in La. I'm a 359 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 4: fucking inside out toad and lo I was smeared to god. 360 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 4: I honestly can't get laid here can ghost NonStop? I'm 361 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 4: bombing on. I'm bombing on the apps out here. I'll 362 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 4: tell you that I'm bombing. I'm bombing back. 363 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: The apps is the mover I A. 364 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 3: I try her all too nothing. 365 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 4: I'm not getting ship out here, get stood up, getting 366 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 4: guys give me lame excuses. 367 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: L A l A dating. It's not it's not indicative 368 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: of the rest of the world. 369 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,079 Speaker 4: No, that's why we go to Florida. I ad three 370 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 4: someme Miami. 371 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: You got threesome in Miami. 372 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 4: Also a bomb that too. I bombed that. 373 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 3: One of the guys tapped out real soon. I was like, oh. 374 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: Wait, it was like you guys were all making out, 375 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: and then he was like, O geez. 376 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 3: It started. Yes, it started as the one guy making out. 377 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 4: The other guy came in and the one guy immediately 378 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 4: left and the he lied on the floor. 379 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: Well, maybe he didn't want to see another guy's peep. 380 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: He saw it. 381 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 4: He didn't leave the room. 382 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: Oh, he sat. 383 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 4: It was like, but no, he barely watched. He was 384 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 4: lying on the on the on the ground, had a pillow. 385 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 4: He was getting all comfy on the ground on his phone. 386 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: Are you are you? Are you sleeping with the homeless? Beggars? 387 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 4: Aren't choosers? 388 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: Okay, you know what. 389 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 4: They cleaned their dick before. I make sure they cleaned 390 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 4: it before I asked them. 391 00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: I watched. I watched it for them. 392 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 3: Can you imagine? 393 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: I get that. 394 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 4: That's what I'm like, Oh, fuck you, but I must 395 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 4: wash your penis first. 396 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: So the road you're cleaning up, I'm cleaning up. 397 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 2: On the road. 398 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 1: What's your what's your town that you're like the fucking 399 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: queen of the town. It might Beago, like a Midwest Toronto. 400 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: I feel like Toronto and Chicago have like a love 401 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm from Toronto. Was like, I know you're from but. 402 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 3: I did not getting in Toronto either. Literally Chicago. 403 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 4: I haven't fucked in Chicago. 404 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: Florida's Florida word. 405 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 4: I'm picking up these fucking weird the what's your type? 406 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 4: I'm I'm open, it's the whole game. Oh yeah, yeah, 407 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 4: we're not. We're not putting thighs on this. We got no, no, no, No, 408 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 4: we let letting them all in, letting too many in. No, 409 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 4: we're letting some disgusting pigs in there. 410 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: But with like a giant like m M, A fighter 411 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: kind of guy. 412 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 4: I want to want to. 413 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 3: Be tossed around. 414 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: He's like supple speaking of Oh my god, you are dielpping. 415 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 4: Okay, So this this wrestler named Big Bill, he's me 416 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 4: w W. I asked him to do sketch with me 417 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 4: the other day in fucking in Florida as I root 418 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 4: through my purse for four and a half fucking hours. No, no, 419 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 4: I need to show you. This is me getting fucking 420 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 4: choke slammed. He had a fiance, because if he didn't, 421 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 4: I'll tell you what I would have. I would have 422 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 4: made some serious moves. No, I got fucking fully choke slam. 423 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: With Wait in a sexual way? 424 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 4: No, no, no, it was just weird doing a video. 425 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 4: Check out the airtime I get on this choke slam. Wait, 426 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 4: I'm what is this about? 427 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: Can you send that to the producer? Can we wait? Yeah? 428 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: That wasn't a sexual thing. 429 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm doing the stupid video with him, but 430 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 4: I wanted to make a look sexual. But it's him 431 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 4: that it's just like a stupid it's just a characters thing. 432 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 4: It's a stupid character of Marcy. And I want to 433 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 4: pretend that I was trying to fuck him. That guy, 434 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 4: his name is Big Bill is there. 435 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 1: He's a wrestler. So you were TikTok. I'm very old stupid. 436 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: Are you trying to that guy? I know he's married, 437 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 1: but if he wasn't married, I. 438 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 4: Would have considerate consider it. I was soaking wet I 439 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 4: want sloped off the bed saying oh, with slippery slops 440 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 4: on that fucking Hamilton garden. And that's why they call 441 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 4: the garden. You gotta water the grass. 442 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: It's your celebrity crush. If you could, if you could 443 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: waltz under the silver screen, John Ham. 444 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 4: I want John Sam, John Sam. I want John Sam. 445 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 4: I want his Ham in and around my body wherever 446 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 4: he wants it. 447 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 1: I interviewed him once, did you dere and very good 448 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: looking guy. 449 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 4: Don't even watch that. 450 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 1: I saw pictures of his dicking sweatpants. Yeah, he's ringing 451 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: a fucking ding dong dinner bell. He's got my man's 452 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: packing heat. 453 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,160 Speaker 4: He's got a fucking box of Kleenex pants. 454 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: It's not big, it's you can sense he's got a 455 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: big dick, right, it's like radiating. 456 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 4: He's got a horn on him. 457 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: It would be so tragic if he took off his 458 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: pants and. 459 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 4: I was like, like, i've seen that, you know funny 460 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:45,360 Speaker 4: that is. 461 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, what have you done when you've seen a 462 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: micro guy little dick? 463 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 3: I went, I sort of laughed. 464 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: You were like the girl that laughed at your company show. 465 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 4: There's this literally, this one guy. This he used to 466 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 4: be security guard at the Virgil. I'm dipping in very 467 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 4: close eyes. Anyways, he's very tall, and I assume why 468 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 4: thatt to be and there are no reason fairy close eyes. 469 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 4: He took his pants off and I went like, it 470 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 4: wasn't microL but like you have such a big body, 471 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 4: it's a small pinis. 472 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:10,920 Speaker 1: That's a that's a genetic crap shoes. 473 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 4: That's why I announced that I have a big pussy. 474 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 4: I don't want anyone get to learn about you. 475 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 3: Come in, you know what you're getting. 476 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 4: I'm not. 477 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 1: It's have you had the opposite experiencer. You took up 478 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: a guy's pants and it was like a fucking yes, 479 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: this guy read oh really, I was alarmed. Gigantic big 480 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: cock were you. Were you like yes, or were you 481 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: like oh? 482 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 2: Fun night? 483 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,400 Speaker 4: I cracked my job, myself heeling chokeslam before I started 484 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 4: ready to go to start doing esophagus massages. Hold on 485 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 4: a second. 486 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 1: Were you pumped or scared? 487 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 2: No? 488 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: I was. I was pumped. 489 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 3: A big pussy needs a big dick. I can't be 490 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 3: having I gotta feel. 491 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 4: Some down there. 492 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 1: You just went because I have a friend. I won't 493 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 1: say her name, but she she told me she took 494 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: off a guy's pants one time and his phallus was 495 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: so large that she she was like you. She goes, 496 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,919 Speaker 1: you gotta go home, and he goes, what do you mean? 497 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not putting that anywhere in my by. 498 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: I can't put that anywhere my Boddy. There's not a 499 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 1: single place top to bottom in my body that will sometime. 500 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 1: She made him go home. 501 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 4: That's hilarious. 502 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: It's grazy, right. 503 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 4: Can I get Look? 504 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: She might not have room for its I got. 505 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 4: I've got a three car garage with a little upstairs attic. 506 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 4: I got some room, baby, baby, he's got some room 507 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 4: in there. I'm bulgary and it's wine set. 508 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 2: With aridre with aerdre. 509 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: What's the worst bomb? You've ever seen have you known 510 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 1: that that you weren't It wasn't you bombing? But was 511 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 1: there somebody? Have you ever seen episode? 512 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 3: I made sure. 513 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 4: I asked my friend if I could tell a story 514 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 4: because I read the email my friend Jessica Michelle, who's hilarious. 515 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 4: She bombed at the store a couple of weeks ago, 516 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 4: pretty bad, pretty pretty brutal. And she's dating this guy 517 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 4: and he's super nice, he's super sweet, and we're after 518 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 4: we're all outside and she's like, oh, that was that 519 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 4: was pretty rough and he's like, no, honestly, he's like, honestly, Jess, 520 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 4: people were laughing and like he's like going going on. 521 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 4: She's like kind of like, oh okay. He's like, honestly, Jess, 522 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 4: I would tell you. And I'm like, I hate to 523 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:17,639 Speaker 4: burst your bubble. 524 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: You ate ship? 525 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 4: I go, you just bombed really fucking bad. And she's 526 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,719 Speaker 4: like what And he's like staff, I'm like, I'm not 527 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 4: going to sit here and I'm not trying to fuck her. 528 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 4: You you can be a nice boyfriend, but I'm like, 529 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 4: you gotta tell her when she eat ship. And she 530 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 4: just ate ship right, like it was pretty brude. I mean, 531 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 4: but and she's hilarious, so it was like we all 532 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 4: all have her bombs and stuff, but it was just 533 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 4: like so cute that he was like, Oh, it wasn't 534 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 4: that bad. 535 00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, not a single person laughed, and I. 536 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: Can't. He can't. 537 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 3: I think I think you can. 538 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 4: I think if someone I don't know just started dating, 539 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 4: no it's been a year. 540 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: I would want my girlfriend to lie to me and 541 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 1: just would you it's not that bad. Anybody. Everybody else 542 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: can tell me the truth, but my girlfriend I would want, 543 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 1: like I would want to sugarcoating. 544 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 3: Okay, I get, I mean, yes, I mean I don't. 545 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: Know what bombing is the only response you need. I 546 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: don't need. I don't need an outside person to tell me, oh, 547 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,479 Speaker 1: it's okay, Oh it's not that bad. Oh it's a bomb. 548 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: It's crystal clear that it's a bomb. But then the audience, 549 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: an audience full of strangers, has let me know very 550 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 1: loudly that it's a bomb. I don't need to check 551 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: in with anyone else. I don't really need to. Comics. 552 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 3: I think they're delusional and they like. 553 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think some comics are and they're and they're 554 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: always not good comics. Yes, well, they are they have 555 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: like laugh blindness or something, because I think they're in 556 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,880 Speaker 1: like a heightened state of consciousness when they're up there, 557 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: or they're just so bad they're used to bombing, like 558 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: bombing is the norm and they think it's good. It's 559 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: never somebody who's great a comic. 560 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,719 Speaker 4: No, it's I literally it's crazy. If I anytime I 561 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 4: do like remotely bad, even if it's like somebody else's 562 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 4: comics is a great side of it wasn't delight in 563 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 4: my face. Don't lie to me. I know what I'm 564 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 4: doing up there. I can sense. I can sense the bombs. 565 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can. 566 00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can totally sense. 567 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: You're totally It's crystal clear to me. It's crystal clear 568 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 1: to me when it's it's not even just a bomb, 569 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 1: when it's like a mediocre or a medium set. I've 570 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: said in the middle of set, it's like, I know 571 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: this sets a C minus. I know this isn't my 572 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: best hurt bombing, but I know it ain't an A plus. 573 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 1: I know. You just know you know, And if you 574 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: don't know, you shouldn't do comedy because that's what it's like, 575 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 1: the most important part of your job is to know 576 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: where you are at. If you can't figure that out, 577 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 1: it's your job to be observant, and if you can't 578 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,640 Speaker 1: observe yourself immediately, then you are illusional. 579 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:36,880 Speaker 2: A hole. 580 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 3: I mean there's every then that's half the sceno here 581 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 3: in k hole. 582 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: I want to know though, not just like, Hey, I 583 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 1: saw my friend bomb. I went like specifics, do you 584 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: have anything any details? Like I saw a bottle get 585 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: thrown at somebody. I saw a comic dropping a black 586 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 1: room and I. 587 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 3: Gotta go to I gotta go to one. 588 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 4: Okay, I don't know if I say my buddy Patrick, 589 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 4: I his last name case, He says, he this is 590 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 4: Montreal years ago, face called the Comedy Works. He comes 591 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,919 Speaker 4: in from doing this this show across street a burrito 592 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 4: at a brito joint. He comes in, smug, He's got 593 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 4: a strut. He walks in, he goes, yeah, killed one show, 594 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 4: about to go up there kill the next one. We 595 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 4: want to party and he's like on one right, and 596 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 4: I'm like okay, and I'm like, he hasn't been in 597 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 4: this room seeing how they are whatever. 598 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 3: He goes up, does this big wave. As he walks up, 599 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 3: people were like, who the fuck is this guy? 600 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 4: Gets up starts going on about lord knows what, some 601 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 4: story about some girl in his house, and he goes, 602 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 4: this fucking dyke, this very butch lesbian in the crowd, 603 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 4: goes what he goes, I said, this fucking dyke says 604 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,520 Speaker 4: it again, and I was like, buddy, buddy, Buddy, buddy, 605 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 4: read the silence. 606 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 3: He keeps doing the story. 607 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 4: He keeps doing the story, and I'm like, buddy, I'm 608 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 4: keep saying it. He's like, anyways, this bitch and I'm stop. 609 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 4: Cut the bombs so fucking bad. Walks off, still strutting, 610 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 4: don't know how he's just ready. 611 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 3: Goes, I'm gonna need a shot after that one. 612 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 4: You just bomb. But then he was still so smug. 613 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 4: And then I saw him eat a poutine in the snow. 614 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 4: After that, he was so drunk. He was eating a 615 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 4: wet poutine. I'm like, we have to leave right now. 616 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 4: It was I'll never forget how smug he was going on, 617 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:16,119 Speaker 4: just like the amount of comfin and he wasn't that night. 618 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 4: He's a fun guy, but that was like insane. The 619 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 4: yell that I also didn't even need to be in 620 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 4: the story. He's like one of those stories are you 621 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 4: could have been like my roommate, he hadn't yelled out. 622 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, not a good word. And that was 623 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 4: years ago with when people were still saying that word 624 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,479 Speaker 4: and it was still kind of acceptable. I don't know. 625 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,360 Speaker 4: I was threatened my biggest I was threatened in Milwaukee. 626 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 4: A guy told he had two guns on him and 627 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 4: he waited for me up front of the show because 628 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 4: I pissed him off. He was fucking talking and he 629 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 4: wouldn't shut the fuck up. So I like kind of 630 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 4: start riffing with him. Yeah, and then he wouldn't stop, 631 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 4: and I was like, I asked, what different work. He's 632 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 4: like an inner city landlord. I had this clip online 633 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 4: because it's like kind of a viral because it and 634 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 4: people start booing him. 635 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 3: Obviously it was a crowd. I'm an inter city landlord 636 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 3: and everyone's like boo. 637 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:53,240 Speaker 4: I'm like this hilarious. 638 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,200 Speaker 3: And then so I kind of make fun of him. 639 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 4: I do a rift where I was like, I'm like, 640 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 4: he mentioned he has two guns, one on the hip, 641 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 4: one of my Glas compartment. 642 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 3: I was like, why do you need a fucking a gun? 643 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 4: Was the landlord. 644 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like, January second, you're on the guy's temple. 645 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: Where's I'm like, that's looking crazy. 646 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,879 Speaker 4: So now I'm getting laughed and he's annoyed. So at 647 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 4: one point he's like, well, got the guns on me 648 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 4: and I'm like okay. So I'm like trying to go 649 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 4: too set and then he says something like he heels something. 650 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,880 Speaker 4: I go what, and he goes, you better fucking watch yourself. 651 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 1: And then I'm like murder. He's gonna comit a homicide. 652 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I go what, And then his girlfriend goes, 653 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 4: you heard him, You better fucking watch it, and I 654 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 4: was like, I look at the clock. I'm like, I'm 655 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 4: not doing a fifteen minutes. I'm getting the fuck off. Yeah, 656 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 4: So I like, wrap it up, I get off back. 657 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 4: He's freaking the funk out telling the security. 658 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh yeah, they go side. 659 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 4: He's outside the front door, is pacing like what, and 660 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 4: I'm like, what you're gonna do to kill me? 661 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 3: To kill me? 662 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: It killed the comedian and then ruin the rest of 663 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,120 Speaker 1: your own life A joke. 664 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 3: This you wouldn't shut the fuck up to. It was psychotic. 665 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 4: It was so scary. 666 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: I'm glad we hand guns everybody the fuck. 667 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 4: And here you go. Congratulations you go kill step total. 668 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,160 Speaker 1: With this terrifying sucks. What did you do? 669 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 4: I didn't Dory then I'll tell you that I stayed 670 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:04,919 Speaker 4: in the green room for a couple more minutes. So 671 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 4: I was pretty freaked out. 672 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 1: How did you get back to your hotel? 673 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,119 Speaker 4: The club owner drove me. 674 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,199 Speaker 1: I would have called the police. 675 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 4: No, I was pretty freaked out. That's the first time 676 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 4: I got that scared. They mad sure, they banned him, 677 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 4: so they had his credit card and everything, so he 678 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 4: can't go back to the club. But I was like, 679 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 4: it was really fucking and I was scared to post 680 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,959 Speaker 4: the clipsuse I'm like, you can't see him, you can 681 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 4: hear him, but I was like, I don't want him 682 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 4: to see this and get mad at me. I was like, 683 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,919 Speaker 4: so I go back to Milwaukee. I have to make 684 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 4: sure that guy's not there Milwaukee. 685 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 2: I don't know. 686 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: I know it was bad, I don't know. I know, 687 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,679 Speaker 1: eight like ten years I'm cool off, damn it. I 688 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: had a guy recently at a bar in fucking Highland Park. 689 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: I was like, I was with some friends. This wasn't 690 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: even a comedy show. But he was definitely nuts and violent, 691 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 1: Like he was just his energy. He was pacing around 692 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,719 Speaker 1: and being weird to everyone. I just felt like this 693 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 1: guy was bad fucking news. I sat at the corner 694 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: of the bar and he's I'm on like a ninety 695 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: degree angle. He's like here and I'm here corner of 696 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 1: the bar, and then he was saying strange stuff to me. 697 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: I could tell he wanted to get in the conversation, 698 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 1: but his energy was like like twitchy and like eh. 699 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: And then like I went up to the girl I 700 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: was dating at the time. I was like, maybe if 701 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 1: I like make out with she was my girlfriend, but 702 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 1: we just started making out. Maybe if I make out 703 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: with my boo, he'll get a hint and like not 704 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,640 Speaker 1: try to engage. So I like went over to her 705 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: and I was like being like sweetie and like gave 706 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 1: her a kiss, and then like he interjected and he 707 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 1: was like you're not gonna shake my hand or something, 708 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh no, here we go. And 709 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 1: then I was like like everything went calm, you know 710 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 1: when like fight flight or freeze. Everything like slowed down. 711 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 2: In my mind. 712 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: I was like, this guy's fucking nuts. He could have 713 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: a knife. It was just like nothing made sense either, 714 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: Like I hadn't talked to him. I had no idea 715 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 1: he was. So I just like looked at the bartender. 716 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 1: I go, I'm gonna call the police, tell the security 717 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 1: this guy's about to attack me. And then like his 718 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 1: his brain short so and I called. I picked up 719 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: the phone and PUTT nine one one on speed do. 720 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,239 Speaker 1: I go, hey, I'm at such and such address. This 721 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 1: guy's threatening to do me and my girlfriend physical harm. Uh, 722 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: And I like and then he was like short circuited. 723 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,880 Speaker 1: He was like I was looking for a fight, but 724 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: this guy is using like different tactics then I'm used 725 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: to or something. And he just walked. He just like 726 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 1: got up and like slammed his drink and like be 727 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: lined out of here. And then I asked somebody, I go, 728 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: I go, was that your buddy? Said somebody. I knew 729 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 1: that was like he was hovering next to you earlier. 730 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: She goes, oh, no, he comes in here all the time. 731 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: That guy's is psychopath. Get rid of them. You need 732 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: to all dangerous. 733 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 3: No, we can't be having dangerous people crazy. 734 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: It's fucking crazy. But that feeling sucks. I hate that ship. 735 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 1: I hate that shop. 736 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 4: When you're on stage because I was like, this guy 737 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 4: could shoot me. Right now, I'm standing here to big 738 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 4: purple jumpsuit like Barney in front. 739 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 3: You can easily fucking get. 740 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 2: Me with a record, prey with a record. 741 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 1: Pray Oh, I have one for the wasted on stage. 742 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 4: Okay, I had worse I got. I got worse than wasted. 743 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: On propofolo m A, oh yeah, that's not good. 744 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 3: I've been drunk on stage. 745 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: I've done Okay, I was a blast. I didn't do well. 746 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 4: I see I did not have a blast. I did 747 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,719 Speaker 4: not know. Okay, I was hosting this competition again in Toronto. 748 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 4: Disclosure was in town Love Disclosure, Love to Take. It's 749 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 4: so cool. 750 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: That such a good song. 751 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 4: So they're fucking great. So I got My sister was there. 752 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 4: It was for a birthday. So I was like, okay, 753 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm going to host the show. At the 754 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 4: end of the show, I'm like, they're doing some tally 755 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 4: for votes. 756 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 3: I host it. 757 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 4: I'm like, I'll do like five minutes, we'll take the 758 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 4: M and then we'll leave. I don't know, but I 759 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 4: have to do thirty minutes for them to tell you 760 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 4: the votes. So I take the M right for the 761 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 4: last comic goes on. The guy comes up to me 762 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 4: guys running and goes, hey, you're ready for your thirty. 763 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 4: I'm like thirty, I did twenty off the top and 764 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 4: I'm now I'm like, oh boy. I get on stage, 765 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 4: it hits like you know what he did that good 766 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 4: mall and you're like, damn, I remember, I just like 767 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 4: sinking and it's kind of like rubbing my legs and 768 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,719 Speaker 4: then just all the lights became this congealed blob. 769 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 3: There's no way, I said a joke. There's no fucking way. 770 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 4: And I look off stage and I just see my 771 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 4: sister just like licking her lips. 772 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 3: Like on the side. 773 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 4: I'm like, it was the strongest molle ever had my 774 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 4: fucking life. And we both were like melting, and I 775 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 4: was like any minute now the votes in me tally 776 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 4: and they had like they let me early and got 777 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 4: me off because I was like and then the guy 778 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 4: was so mad at me after He's like that was 779 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 4: so unprofessional. 780 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 3: I can't believe that. 781 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 2: I was like. 782 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 4: Fucking half an hour. 783 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: Who is this guy. 784 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 4: This guy who's changed his name three times, He's done something. 785 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 4: He's one of those bookers in Toronto who had had 786 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 4: a one name and now something else. You're like, what 787 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 4: did you do? 788 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: What does he want from you? You're tallying a fucking 789 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: thing for him? 790 00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 2: How much? 791 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 1: Act like fifty bucks? It's stupid? 792 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 3: No, but it was kiss my ass. 793 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 4: It was. It was bad. It was very bad. 794 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: I don't think that was bad. I think that was amazing. 795 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: I think they gave that that that audience will never forget. 796 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 4: That they were like this. 797 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: I saw the Sober to Molly conversion on stage. 798 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 4: I did coke once before I went on That was stupid. Yeah, why, 799 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 4: I was just like I did man it? How did 800 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 4: How did Robin Williams and Richard Pryor do that all 801 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 4: the time? 802 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: It's crazy, Like I did coke on stage, like right 803 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: before I went on stage once and my heart was 804 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: beating out of my Oh yeah, And I was like 805 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: this was the norm for Robin Williams and George Carlin 806 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: and Richard Pyer like free base. My mind was like 807 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 1: I was crazy and it was just like a tout. 808 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 1: It was like whoop. And I was because the stage 809 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: you're already on cocaine naturally. 810 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I think we both have that thing like 811 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 4: we go on we're fucking high energy, Like I don't 812 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 4: already think I'm Unclecainee every show, I was like, what 813 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 4: do you want? 814 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: I'm not on psychotic adrenaline. I'm on adrenaline and nerves 815 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 1: and anxiety. 816 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 4: And crushing and pressure, wondering if a man of Milwaukee's 817 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 4: a gun and he's ready here to show. 818 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 1: Me so to do? Like mainline cocaine. Like those guys 819 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,960 Speaker 1: did how I were nuts? They were really nuts. They 820 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: were fucking every how did they live? 821 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 3: If I have three drinks that I start to slur them, there, 822 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 3: I go. 823 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: It's crazy, it's off crazy. 824 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 4: You don't drink free those sages. 825 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 1: Never because I don't like being sloppy. I like I 826 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: like being nervous on stitch. I have a couple. 827 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 3: I'm good with two two three two. 828 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: If it's a show, I don't give a fuck about 829 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: it's I'm not doing it for pay, and I'm just 830 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: like and I'm not even working out new stuff. I'm like, Hey, 831 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: I'm visiting a friend in New Orleans, but my buddy's 832 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,760 Speaker 1: got a comedy show. I'll go on. I'll do five 833 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,719 Speaker 1: minutes whatever. And I've been drinking Gin and Tonics all 834 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 1: day whatever. If it's just for funiture, but if I'm 835 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,160 Speaker 1: working on new material, and I really want to know 836 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 1: what's wrong with it, or I'm doing a paid gig. 837 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 1: If I'm doing like University of whatever Wisconsin or whatever, 838 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: then I want to be sharp. I want to be sharp. 839 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not because I need to care that 840 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: the jokes work, and if I'm under the influence, I 841 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: don't care if the jokes work. Really, yeah, I need 842 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: to be I need to be nervous. I need to 843 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: be anxious and nervous about it, or I'm a fucking 844 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 1: on the road. 845 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 4: Never. I always I like a couple two tequila sotas. 846 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 4: That's my nice spot, right. 847 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: For I won't say never. I won't say never, but 848 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 1: for stand up especially like I I don't know, I 849 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: just want to be nervous. Yeah, I don't want to 850 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: be nervous. That's kind of nerdy. I'm like the opposite 851 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 1: of month. 852 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 2: Like. 853 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 1: Afterwards, I'm like looking for like, I'm like, what's the 854 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: airwan equivalent in this town? I need organic vegetables. And 855 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,880 Speaker 1: then I like take a shower and I'm in bed 856 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: by like nine thirty. 857 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 4: And I'm sucked by some weird man that was at 858 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 4: my show. I'm not always like that. I'm discussing. Yeah, 859 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 4: my specialty. No, I'm looking. I'm girls. I gotta get 860 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 4: tested next week. I uh the nightmare, God damn it. 861 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 3: I can test it all the time. I love getting tested. 862 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 4: My fair thing to do. Ah F at Hollywood Western 863 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 4: Free Clinic. 864 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 1: Take my blood every five bucks in there. 865 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 4: I'm rth. 866 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 1: So I'm such a hypoconjecting the doctor every fucking every 867 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: other week. 868 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 3: I think I aides every day. 869 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: So I have to. 870 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 4: I literally have to go back and I'm not drying. 871 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 4: I go in. I asked, That's what I asked the guy. 872 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:10,960 Speaker 4: So we didn't use a CONDOMCA. 873 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 3: I'm an idiot, but. 874 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,400 Speaker 1: I asked, what is that hypoconject? 875 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 4: It doesn't make any fucking sense. I literally I ask 876 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,640 Speaker 4: every guy. I'm like two aids and I go, you 877 00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 4: know you legally at the time of the truth. I 878 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 4: don't know if that's real. I say it is, I 879 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 4: say it is. I'm like, legally you can be resident, 880 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:26,439 Speaker 4: you know. I think it is true. 881 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:27,320 Speaker 3: I heard that one somewhere. 882 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 4: I don't know. 883 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 3: Anyways, I'm gonna test it on Monday. Do you want 884 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:30,239 Speaker 3: to go? 885 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: Should we go together? 886 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:34,600 Speaker 4: Clinic? 887 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: I love going the. 888 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 4: One over there is fun, though, yeah, one woman that 889 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 4: takes my bloods. She's like, she's always so chipper. She 890 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,200 Speaker 4: ss like, okay, time for the brick one two three. 891 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, she tells me, I've aids. I'm not going 892 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,799 Speaker 4: to be upset because she's actually like all pumped up 893 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 4: about it. She's so pleasant. I hope I have her 894 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,799 Speaker 4: on Monday, Cecilia, I think her name is. I hope 895 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 4: I have her. Thanks for coming, Thanks for having me. 896 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,880 Speaker 1: All right, listen up, we got some sposial for you. 897 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about 898 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your 899 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,919 Speaker 1: chance to tell me all about it. Babo. I want 900 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 1: to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck 901 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up 902 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,239 Speaker 1: your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven 903 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: one six two six six twenty four sixty four and 904 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: leave me a voicemail and we might just play it 905 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 1: on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre is brought 906 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 1: to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and 907 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,880 Speaker 1: iHeart Podcast. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer 908 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,279 Speaker 1: is Bei Wang. Our research assistant is David Carliner, our 909 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,719 Speaker 1: editor in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is 910 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,359 Speaker 1: by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate US five stars and drop 911 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: a review on your podcast app A choice