WEBVTT - #181: Stick These Fireworks Up Your Ash Can! 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.920 Got my delivery ready to eat my pizza. Slice to 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.520 the rescue, Brodie. Yeah, while Slice hooked me up last 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.920 night too. I placed an order customized everything. Uh, and 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:12.120 I got food for myself and my wife last night 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:14.480 and I was the hero. Thank you Slice. Five dollars 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:16.520 off your first order right now if you use keyword 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:23.479 Brooklyn downloaded at Slice or go to Slice life dot com. 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:28.320 Guess who just got that today? The Brooklyn is that 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:32.040 it'd been away. They both have so much to see, 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:49.560 you know. Their names are Scarycast Episode one. It's the 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.400 Brooklyn Boys podcast, back from about a two or three 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:56.600 week vacation or maybe an hour or a day vacation, 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.680 depending on when the last episode was that you experienced 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:04.120 of this fine podcast. You know what I love about that? 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:06.880 That parody we just played, never mind the fact that 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.840 I wrote it, But it means two things. It means 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:13.080 we just had some great time off, and it means 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:15.200 we're back. We could to the podcast again. Yeah. So 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:16.800 for all those people who are like, I need your 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:20.600 episode come back, Uh, we're back. Yeah, here we are, 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:24.160 you know, and we're no less refreshed than we were 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:27.679 before vacation, where we promised ourselves. We were gonna get 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.800 some rest and relaxation. But for some reason, my vacations 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:34.240 are always on the go. And uh, you always seem 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.760 to get into customer service fights on your vacations, which 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:40.960 I'm sure there's quite a few, racking, I gotta got 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:45.679 some issues. If I'm a betting man, I'm gonna bet 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:50.120 that you had no less than three customers service squabbles 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:52.200 during your breast than three would be safe. If you 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:57.600 said no more than three, you'd be incorrect. So I had. 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:58.880 So I had a couple of bumps in a row. 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:02.280 You know what's funny. I was relaxed. You know, I 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.760 was like a chilling and I was in a good mood. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.600 And you know, for instance, in one particular case, I 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:12.800 just wanted to celebrate our fabulous nation. Right it it 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:16.440 bit me in the ass. How so well, yeah, i'd 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.400 start off now talking about the only just go right 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:23.919 in what I want to hear? What's going on? All right? Yeah? Alright, okay, 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:29.239 what happen to you? And America? America and freedom? Freedom? Yeah, 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.560 nothing screams freedom. So how to be the four something 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:33.799 around the fourth of July four the July right so 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:40.400 early a Monday in early second week of June. Maybe 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:44.600 I think we were still working. I were. I drove 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:48.400 my daughter somewhere about forty minutes from the house at 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.320 a friend's house, and there's a Walmart nearby. I don't 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:55.880 live near Walmart. I'm I'm thirty five to forty minutes 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.800 away from a Walmart. Yeah, but I like I like Walmart, 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:04.200 don't get me wrong. So I and I I popped 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:06.040 into Walmart to get some pool floats. My kid was 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:07.760 having a pool party, so I got, you know, a 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.480 whole bunch of cheap floats for the kids coming over, right, 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.120 because first of all, I don't him on my floats, 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:13.920 and second of all, I didn't have enough for like, 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.679 you know, ten twelve kids. So I got some noodles, 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:20.720 I got some like two dollar floats, some tubes for 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.080 them to you know whatever. And while I was in 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.880 the pool section, I was near the fireworks section. So 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.200 I looked over and I'm like, oh, you know what, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:35.560 my wife normally gets a prepackaged box of assorted fireworks 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:39.480 at Costco, but she hasn't mentioned it, so I'm gonna 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:42.840 they're not there. It was like thirty bucks for like 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.720 a three and a half foot box when you had 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:47.520 like a display window you could see what was in it, 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:52.160 like giant um round things, some boxes. And it was 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.280 thirty dollars. I don't remember what my wife paid for 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.840 the big set we blew off for New Year's Eve. Um, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.280 but I'm like, you know what, I'm already here. It's 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.840 probably a good price dirty Bucks. So I got the 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:04.600 thirty bucks and I'm like, I would have a show 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.120 off for the kids. Would be great there. I already like, 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.680 I'm familiar with the boxes and the and they're very safe. 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:11.840 You like the fuse and they're just like you know, 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:15.880 like the lights go off and like sparklers and explosion 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:19.800 m eighties no load on the ground and things that 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.600 light up, but nothing that don't tweet me if your 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:26.760 uncle's best friend lost an eyelash. Please, I'm telling you. 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.520 These are relatively safe. Okay, They're rather safe. So I 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.440 buy him at thirty bucks and I go home with 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:34.400 the pool floats and the and I'm all excited. And 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:38.200 I get home and my wife says, you bought fireworks 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.760 because they were at in the living room. Yeah, just 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.720 so did I at Costco? What? Yeah, it was a 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:45.720 Costco today but fireworks. We didn't mention it. Well, I 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.160 didn't think you're gonna pick up fireworks at Walmarts. Now 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.239 you have double the fund, double the double, not double 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.440 the fund, one and a half times the fund. Because 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:57.440 for for fifty bucks, I think she got a massive 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:01.920 box of fireworks, the bigger box. Now, I didn't remember 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:04.720 the size of the box from January. You know, they 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.320 look it looked like a big box. So her big 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:12.719 box was bigger than my box. That makes your own jokes, Yeah, 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:14.560 So I thought, wow, hers is a better deal for 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.640 fifty whatever, forty five whatever she'd pay. So I'm like, 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:21.200 I'll just go back to Walmart the next time. You know, 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:24.160 it's not the fourth of July. We're on vacation coming 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.039 up this week, and I'll go in one of my 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.200 vacation days or if my kid has to go see 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:30.400 your friend again. So, as fate would have it, that 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.480 exactly a week later, on a Monday, on a Monday, 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:37.040 I have to go out to that area with as 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:39.480 a Walmart. So I drive the forty minutes, drop her off, 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:41.760 and I go into the Walmart and there's a line. 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:45.680 It's about a twenty minute line at the customer service desk. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.960 But I'm like, I'm on vacation, what whatever. So I 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:50.400 get on a line with my fireworks. I have the 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.480 receipt because I'm a good customer, get the this is 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.360 where you would meet, by the way, before you get 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:00.200 what you eat, and I would be like, know what 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.840 I'm gonna celebrate in another night? I will have I 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:06.599 will literally like blow off fireworks a couple of nights 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.120 a week. You know, I don't. I don't, But okay, 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:12.080 you were at the register, you're returning. Let me let 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:13.960 me fill you in on a couple of things. So 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:18.520 this was I want to say, like the twenty second 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:21.960 of of of June. Maybe I'm gonna look, it's important 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:23.599 I tell you the date. So let me let me 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.400 go on my counter to the June. Yeah, it was 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.159 the twenty one of June. Now, you know, we get 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:32.800 paid on the fifteenth and roughly right, so on the one, 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:36.200 I brought them on the fourteenth, right right before we 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:40.040 got paid on the and I wanted to return them 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:44.000 on the twenty one, I believe, and why we was 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:47.000 six days out of being paid. And I gotta be 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:50.119 honest with you, we're out of money. So the thirty bucks. 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:53.119 I kind of needed it, okay, right, like we we 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:57.120 we were like on fumes in the checking account. So 0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:59.520 you figured, whatever the case, whatever we spent the money on. 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:01.720 We had a lot of bills over the summer, come, 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:03.880 you know whatever, getting ready for the summer, and so 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.880 I needed the thirty bucks back. And I didn't need 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.839 the fireworks because my wife bought a massive So when 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.600 you get to the register with the receipt, yeah, the 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:14.320 girl says, uh. So I was returning at one pool 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.720 float that my daughter didn't like. It was like two 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.840 nine seven and the fireworks. So she says, I get 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.160 it's just you have your seat, yep. And she returns 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.960 the pool float and says, yeah, we can't take back 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:29.280 the fireworks. What she says, Yeah, we don't take back fireworks. 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.960 You don't take back fireworks, not like you set them off. 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:36.240 I mean, clearly you would know if a boxing fireworks, right, 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.280 I said, at this point, we're eight twelve days away 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:43.800 from the fourth of July, plenty of time to resell them, right, Yeah, 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:47.280 we don't take him back. It's just our policy. So 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.960 I said, where's the where's the policy. There's no policy 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:52.440 here at the register. This policy is signs all over 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.720 the wall. What you return policy is? It doesn't say 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:58.680 you can't return fireworks. Oh no. So then then the 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.800 manager walks over. Uh. She says she was the manager. 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:03.440 My guests is she was the frontend supervisor, which is 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:05.440 I'm the manager. What can I help you? I said, yeah, 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:06.960 I just want to turn these fireworks out of your seat. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.720 I bought him a week ago. So she says, yeah, 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.320 we have signs up, but they're not returnable. I said, well, 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.600 here's something you should know about me. Um, if there's 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:17.360 a sign that says I can't return something, I won't 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.440 buy it because I don't like to be trapped into 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.440 a sale. So there was no signs. Well they're up 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:27.320 now at the when you bought the fireworks, right, So 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.200 I said, you know what, I'm gonna give me the 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.120 benefit of the doubt. I'm gonna walk to the back 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.240 of the store and I'm gonna check out the fireworks 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:36.160 display and I'll see if there's a sign. I'll know 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:38.319 if that sign was up last time was here. He goes, okay, sir, 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.720 go ahead. Sorry. Walk in the back and there's a 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.080 giant wall like one whole aisle of fireworks at the 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:46.040 ends you can take pictures of it. Then it's like 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.520 a floor display and another floor. There were four displays 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.280 of fireworks and end cap a whole wall. I took picton. 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:55.800 There's no sign So I go back to the register, 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:57.439 I said, And I'm being very nice. I'm not you know, 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:01.200 I'm not causing the scene. Well I never, I said, Hey, 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.720 you know, listen, you know, I understand you think there 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.800 were signs, but there's no signs. Well, I don't know 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.040 there was signs up. Oh, so there were no signs 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.400 when I was here. There's no signs now, But there 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.920 were signs in between last Monday and this Monday that 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.800 somehow showed there was. But then someone took all the 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.560 signs down. I don't know. Aren't you the manager? Yeah? 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.959 Don't you know your signage in your store? I don't know, sir, 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:24.480 But that's our policy. How can you policy you don't 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.240 advertise it. Show me where, Show me where it's the policy. 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.680 It's our policy, sir. So I go on the website 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:32.040 and it says I pulled fireworks on the website and 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:34.600 it says it says you have ninety days to return 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:38.320 the fireworks. I said, look, here's your policy. Ninety days. She's, well, 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:40.000 I'll go talk to the store manager then if there's 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.640 a problem, would be great. I don't understand why these 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:46.400 local these are they work for a corporation, right, yeah, 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.400 so they see the rules. Why don't they just acknowledge it. 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.319 It's none of these people there today helping you are 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:56.280 gonna lose money personally. It's not like Walmart is owned 0:09:56.280 --> 0:10:00.920 by an individual that it's my story. I'm gonna lose money. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.319 So clearly the big boss of the store, the g M, 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.880 must have said, here's the policy. My guess is, if 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.120 I had to guess, is they don't want him back 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.600 because then they get stuck with them in the fifth 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:11.920 of July and they have they have infant. But that 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.800 was and that was my next point is that okay, July, 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:20.960 it's what what's what's the date? July? Twelve days? But 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.880 they had scared they had like a thousand packages of fireworks. Anyway, 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:27.000 so she she knocks on the door. I could see 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:28.800 the door, it's like ten feet to my left. She 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:31.000 knocks on the door. She whispers to the manager who 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:33.520 I can see in the chair, and he goes and 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.480 he waves like yeah, going from me, and she comes back, says, 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.000 I spoke to him. He says, that's our policy. They said, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.840 he spoke to you. He said, go away. I saw him. She's, well, 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:44.959 I'm sorry, we can't take it back. I said, So 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:47.440 now I have to go on social media and I 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.040 have to tweet, and I have to call your corporate office, 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:53.079 because you know this is your this isn't when you return. Okay, 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.680 she's I'm sorry, sir. So I got in the parking lot. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.240 I called Walmart and I guy who says, oh, no, 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.000 that's that's not a policy. I'll call the store and 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.920 and and and give them permission to take your stuff back. 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:06.360 I said, all right, Well, can you do that while 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:07.960 I'm on the phone, because if I hang up with you, 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.160 I have no idea if you called or not. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:11.440 no problem. Let me put you on hold. I'll call 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:13.480 the store. Comes back and he says, I can't get 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.959 the manager on the phone. What they're not answering the phone. Well, okay, 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.200 but what do I do? Well, you know you could 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.720 try go into a different Walmart. I'm me, or another Walmart. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.760 I'm forty minutes of this Walmart. No, there's nothing I 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:28.040 can do, but that's not a policy. They should take 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:34.160 it back. Oh my god, right, he says, hold on, 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.079 hold on, let me transfer you to my supervisor. Let's see, 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.080 because I said, listen, can you get me a store 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.240 credit or something? And I'll just keep the fireworks or 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.520 I'll leave him at the door, like just get credit 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:45.920 my credit card or send me a gift card and 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.080 I'll walk back in and hand them the fireworks like 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.480 I don't need them. I'm not gonna, you know, say 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.719 oh yeah, hold on, let me transfer to my supervisor. 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:54.560 So I hear ring, ring, ring, and all of a sudden, 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:59.120 the phone line goes dead. So I called back and again. 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:00.880 It takes like like ten minutes to get through the 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.719 voicemail system and on hold, and you know, your call 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:05.760 is important to us, whatever it's. I called back. I 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.920 get a woman from you know where in the world, 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.120 I don't know, and she says, oh no, that's not 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.319 our policy. Yeah no, I know that, yep, she's so 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.000 I'll call the store for you. Okay, great. Calls the 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.280 store and they don't answer the phone. Just I'm sorry, 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.840 they're not answering the phone. Okay, So I give I 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:23.840 give it a store number, the phone number like whatever. 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.800 It's on the receine. It's like store number whatever, like 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.880 to seven, fot whatever the number is. They all have 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:32.440 store numbers, right, So she said, you know, let me 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.599 transfer her. So she gives me the supervisor, and the 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:38.520 supervisor says, well, it's not our policy, but it is. 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:44.360 What does that mean? She says, it's Walmart's policy to 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:50.920 allow the local store manager to make their own policy. 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.079 I said, that's you run a company where everything has 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.079 to be the same caller, the same prices, right, the 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.960 same you wear the same aprons. You're not a free 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.600 an chise. So you're letting some twenty one year old 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:06.960 manager decide I don't feel like taking fireworks back. Yeah, 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:11.400 are you for real? That's your policy? Yeah? The real 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.000 fireworks are going off right now. I can hear them 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:18.760 camping your corporate policy. We've all worked for corporations. I've 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.800 worked for Starbucks, I've worked for Express, the gappled. Maybe 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:23.800 like you don't get to make your own policy. I 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.160 thought you were calm on vacation. You just opened up 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.160 by saying you had a great vacation and you were 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:30.960 calm and relaxed. This does not sound like a calm 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:34.680 and relaxing moment. Well it got worse. I haven't talked 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.360 about I talked, we we touched on it on the 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.000 podcast briefly, but I'm gonna go ahead and talk about 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.080 the follow up to this. So, so I tweet at 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:45.280 Walmart and I say, hey, man, your customer service stinks 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:51.520 uh and and your your return policy stinks. So right, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.959 so they so they immediately write me back on social media, 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.320 We're terribly sorry. Let us know the problem. We're gonna 0:13:56.360 --> 0:14:00.120 help you very accommodating. The end of the story is 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:03.480 they didn't help me. I stubbed the fireworks. Think you 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:05.960 could shove the bottle of rockets up your ass. But 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.040 what they said was that because it's a policy, is 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.640 to let the manager, you know, decide I can go 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.360 to a different Well that's what I was about to say. 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.520 Just keep him in your trunk and then when you 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.559 go from you know, when you're near a Walmart problem 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:19.880 jumping in when I'm in another Walmart where I don't 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:23.080 live near Walmarts. But he's the problem. Now it's after 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:27.000 the fourth of July. Who's taken back my fireworks? Unless 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.320 I wait till right before five fourth of July next year, 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:31.920 my year old receipt. They're not gonna take them back now, 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.760 they're not gonna want fireworks in the middle of July, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.120 saving for next fourth of July. You're gonna be in 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.280 the same situation, right, and then when don't. When they don't, 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:41.520 they don't explode and they go because they're a year 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.960 old broad. You can't have it all the way, broth ways, 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:48.000 every way until Sunday. Every time. You're not gonna get 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:51.120 the free dessert. Here's where the kicker is. He's where 0:14:51.120 --> 0:15:00.520 the kicker is. So about forty minutes after I tweeted Walmart, 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.600 my phone rings, right, it's a guy with an with 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:07.160 an accent. That's not important what kind of accent, but 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.760 he's he's he's clearly someone with an accent from another 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:15.400 part of the world. And he says, hey this, I'm 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.560 gonna I'm gonna, for the sake of this phone call, 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.840 I'm gonna say his name is Mike. He says, Hey, 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.400 this is Mike from Walmart Advanced Customer Service. We are 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:26.600 we understand you have a problem on social media. Our 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:28.480 social media team asked me to give you a call. 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:32.040 We want we want to try to make this right now. 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:37.040 I didn't give my phone number to the social media people, right. Uh. 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:40.640 So I'm I'm like, how's this guy? This? This? Something's 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.840 not right, some's not right here. So I said, uh 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:48.960 huh okay, Mike, um yeah, who are you again? He 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.120 tells me, I said, do you need the store number? No, 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:54.920 we have everything. And I'm like, they don't have everything 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:58.840 because I didn't give the social media people the store number. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.560 Sounds us, Yeah, it sounds us, you know you like 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.240 I liked way by the way, Today's fifteen in the 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.640 Morning show, all you guys were like, sus it's the 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.280 new word, Dwards, suss is like a year old now 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:14.000 because because of um uh oh, I'm drying to blank 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:18.360 the game, um among us right among us? Whatever? Whatever 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.720 the game was? We which which Yeah, he had to 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:22.960 decide which is which is the bad guy? Who was 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:26.040 sus suspect? Anyway, I know you you like that word now? 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.560 So so something is suss. So he says, tell me 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.840 what happened. So I'm like, all right, maybe someone's phone 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.160 tapping me. I'm gonna play along, and I'm gonna I'm 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.520 gonna tell the story. So I tell the story, and 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:39.320 I and I said, yeah, there, you know the return policy. 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.400 I spoke to the supervisor. They're not willing to take 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.240 the fireworks back. So the guy, the guy, This went 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:45.960 on for I don't know about two minutes of me 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.720 explaining because I'm hoping that something funny is gonna happen. 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:50.320 We could play on the radio or on the podcast. 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:55.240 So he says, hold on a second, let me let 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.160 me close my door in my office so I can 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:58.880 hear you better. I'm having a hard time hearing you. 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.840 Now he wasn't a hard time hearing me, so right away, 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.480 I'm thinking, Okay, this is a friend of a friend 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:07.320 who's at work who does a foreign accent, who they've 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.080 asked to prank phone call me. Someone has sent me 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.639 and they saw your tweets on Twitter complaining too knows me. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.800 Gave this guy my phone number and said, oh, prank 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.679 called my friend Brody and uh it's someone He said, oh, 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.240 you have an accent, or maybe it's someone He thought 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:23.679 I would recognize the voice, so put on a foreign accent. 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:28.320 So I said, hey, man, hey, before we go any further, 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:32.000 can you, um, can you tell me what my case 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:34.080 number is because I want to make sure we're on 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:36.240 the same page because they give you a case number 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:38.560 when you call back, like a five digit case number. 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:40.400 I'll get the case number for you in a second, 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.720 but in the meantime, just to do me a favorite, 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.000 go over me one more time with the storm. Oh yeah, 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:49.439 already I'm feeling this is right, so I said, Next, So, 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.520 I said, Mike, I said I before, Yeah, no, no, 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.400 I really want you to give me the case number because, uh, 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:56.960 if if you don't have my account pulled up, you know, 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:58.879 I want to make sure that if you're gonna help me, 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.200 that you have my my case dumb He says, yeah, yeah, 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:02.959 I have your case number. It's not a problem. But 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.000 I'm just taking notes. Tell me again, what happened with 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:07.800 the store manager? I said, Mike, listen, I'm having I'm 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.400 having a long day here. Uh, you're not good at this, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:13.720 I said, You're not good at prank phone calls, whoever 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:15.960 you are, So let's just let's just end this. I 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.480 don't know, we're not You're not good at this trying 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.919 get busted doing phone taps? Right? You go? They go, oh, 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:25.080 is this scariest, Brody? I recognize your voice to go, 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.320 oh man, Okay, sorry, man, you know your wife put 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:30.920 me or you try to go outn't what you're talking about? 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.200 You try to keep going, but you know, so he 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.679 and so, Instead of being funny, the guy starts cursing me, 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:41.440 you motherfucker, you fucking piece of shit. Who the funk 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.719 returns fireworks? I would have shove those fireworks. And your 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:46.680 fucking he's getting like nasty with me. That's that's really 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:50.160 convincing as a customer service A good phone prank phone calls, 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.000 So I soil, So I go, dude, you're obviously a 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:54.960 prank phone call. It's a prank phone call. You're not 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.520 good at it. Can we just end this? You motherfucker, 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.879 you piece of shit? You fucking I'll kill you? Oh 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.600 my god, So so I said, look, man, if this 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:07.960 is a praying phone call, you're not good at phone 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.280 prying phone calls. And if if, if you're this is 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.800 not a praying phone call, you're getting really rude and 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:14.760 and and violent. And I don't have time for this. 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.919 I'm already having a day. I have a good day. Goodbye. 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.280 So he starts calling me back with from my phone number, 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:25.000 like he's using spoof call right there. Why don't you 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:28.400 just ignore it. I did. Here's the problem. He kept 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.280 going to voicemail. Well, if you keep going a voicemail, 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:34.320 he kept pushing buttons and so my voicemail thought I 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:35.879 was trying to log in with the wrong log in, 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.680 and he locked me out on my voicemail. Oh boy. 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:43.879 So I started to think listeners don't have my number. 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.159 My number is not listening anywhere. So it has to 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:51.720 be someone I know, Right, was anyone who someone who 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:56.520 follows me on Twitter? I don't know. So here's the thing. 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.960 This is unsolved mystery of the podcast through I called 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:05.879 Spruce because he knows a lot of voice over people. Spruce, 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.439 He's like no, I'm like dude, He's like no. So 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:12.800 everyone's like, did you ask Garrett? Because Garrett likes to 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:16.600 prank people record them. So I was like, I haven't 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:19.320