Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so
Speaker 1: much for joining us again. We're so excited to be back.
Speaker 1: How are you, Kathy.
Speaker 2: I am fabulous. I am sitting cooling my heroes on vacasion,
Speaker 2: loving the cool weather. But today we are going to
Speaker 2: be answering more of your fan questions. Make sure you're
Speaker 2: submitting them. We love reading them. Just go to Bachelor
Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Speaker 1: Send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your opinions.
Speaker 1: We want all of it. And you can also dm
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: Okay, so before we get into the episode, we're going
Speaker 2: to start with the question of the day. But can
Speaker 2: I just say to you my favorite part? But I
Speaker 2: just want to say, you know, I'm on vacation, I'm
Speaker 2: in Canada. Do you just love the cool weather even
Speaker 2: in summer?
Speaker 1: Yes, till September. It gets real cool at night and
Speaker 1: then the mornings are chilly and then it's really nice
Speaker 1: all day.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is such a tree for me because
Speaker 2: I'm wearing sweaters and long pants in Texas, Like I
Speaker 2: won't get with like this till like November.
Speaker 1: But so lucky because when I was in Canada last
Speaker 1: year it was one hundred and five.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, stay away from Canada. You're ruining this country,
Speaker 2: all right. And by the way, I'll bring you some
Speaker 2: maple syrup because I know you like to kick it.
Speaker 2: All right, Here we go a question of the day.
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen someone ruin a friendship or a
Speaker 2: relationship just by how they handled something? What do you think?
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to remember, but yes, people do
Speaker 1: stupid things.
Speaker 2: I mean I have I haven't personally done this, but
Speaker 2: I have seen people let their mouth run away with
Speaker 2: them and they'll say something that really offends the other person.
Speaker 2: And I'm watching this squad, really did you just say that? Right?
Speaker 1: And they regretted after all, some regot it afterwards.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I think I think it's unfortunate though,
Speaker 2: I mean, I think sometimes, you know, your mouth gets
Speaker 2: away with you.
Speaker 1: You were you ever in a situation where two of
Speaker 1: your friends and one of them was being a dick
Speaker 1: to the other one, and you're trying not to pass judgment,
Speaker 1: I open my big mouth. It's none of my business.
Speaker 1: But I was in the same car and I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: don't talk to him like that.
Speaker 2: Wait, and then did their friendship deteriorate?
Speaker 1: No, they're married, But no, I've.
Speaker 2: Had I mean, look at look at Teresa me. I
Speaker 2: told her to zip it and how long did it take? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean, but how long did it take? Right? It's
Speaker 2: I think people sometimes don't think. And again we're older,
Speaker 2: so we think First's.
Speaker 1: Something I learned in my golden years.
Speaker 2: We think first before we speak, and so I will
Speaker 2: say I've been guilty. This I have been guilty of.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's ever ruined or relationship, but I
Speaker 2: have been guilty of saying something. My sister will often
Speaker 2: say to me, Kathy, you are an English major. You're
Speaker 2: a wordsmith. Beise with no no, no, no, not grammar. Be
Speaker 2: precise with your words so that you mean what you say,
Speaker 2: and you say what you mean. Sometimes I will say
Speaker 2: something and it's like, well, I didn't mean it that way.
Speaker 2: So I think sometimes people have to remember that what
Speaker 2: you say, what comes out of your mouth is what.
Speaker 1: People hear, hand in hand with the delivery. That's right
Speaker 1: to soften things up. Even though you're saying something that's
Speaker 1: not a positive thing, but the way you say it,
Speaker 1: people can accept it a little easier sometimes, but if
Speaker 1: you say it like harshly, it's an immediate defense.
Speaker 2: You and I just talked about this. I met a
Speaker 2: woman recently in Bachelor World who reminded me of me
Speaker 2: and her delivery. I was like, wow, it was like
Speaker 2: holding a mirror up and because I liked her a lot,
Speaker 2: I liked her a lot, but I could see where
Speaker 2: what she was saying was right. There was you know
Speaker 2: so so, but I've never lost a friendship over it.
Speaker 2: Then I'm aware of I've never lost a relationship today.
Speaker 1: When I said earlier about the recap on Bachelor in Paradise,
Speaker 1: how I related to Parisa, and I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: I saw it because I used to be a lot
Speaker 1: like that, Like pullback, Susan, don't give it all because
Speaker 1: it could be a turn off. It's smothering.
Speaker 2: Oh a minute, well, we don't have time to get
Speaker 2: back into that today. But I thought you were saying
Speaker 2: earlier that you thought it was great that Parisa complimented him.
Speaker 1: I did because I used to do the same things,
Speaker 1: smother them with good, good, good, good good. And then
Speaker 1: you know so basically what that means is it's all
Speaker 1: about to chase with men, and if you're too available?
Speaker 2: So now whoa we just changed the question of the day.
Speaker 2: We did. We're going to talk about this. You're telling
Speaker 2: me if you're too available, the relationship isn't going to
Speaker 2: work out.
Speaker 1: A lot of times, like they enjoyed the chase, when
Speaker 1: you're and I'm not good at it, when you're playing
Speaker 1: a little hard to get if you will? You know
Speaker 1: the books that says be busy when they call. What
Speaker 1: do you mean I'm not busy? I want to go
Speaker 1: out with them?
Speaker 2: Would I do that? Susan's like, wait a minute, I
Speaker 2: need ten minutes to put on my eyeliner. I'll be
Speaker 2: right there.
Speaker 1: Do you ever do that? Did you ever say you
Speaker 1: were busy?
Speaker 2: You think I play games?
Speaker 1: I forgot she didn't they she got married and went
Speaker 1: to Berlin. No, not Scotland, Scotland. Okay, with Susan, we
Speaker 1: have a little test here. Berlin is in what country?
Speaker 1: Berlin is Teresa, Scotland is Kathy. And we just had
Speaker 1: a tiny little bit of a technical difficulty that I
Speaker 1: had to take a picture of your face that was frozen.
Speaker 3: Kathy was adorable. And with that being said, we're going
Speaker 3: to give a questions. All right, we'll get into our
Speaker 3: fan questions for today. I'm going to start us off
Speaker 3: with the first one. You ready, ready, Hey, ladies, I think.
Speaker 1: I messed up and I need some help. I was
Speaker 1: at my boyfriend's company party this past Friday. It was
Speaker 1: fun at first until I looked over and saw my
Speaker 1: boyfriend chatting with one of his coworkers let's call her Mia.
Speaker 1: To me, their conversation seemed super flirty, and it was
Speaker 1: really pissing me off. He has a tendency to be
Speaker 1: a social butterfly and bounce around the room while I'm
Speaker 1: feeling awkward. I don't usually clam up in social situations,
Speaker 1: but being around your partner's coworkers that you don't know
Speaker 1: is really intimidating. When I went over to grab him,
Speaker 1: he said, one sec I'm telling Mia about X, Y
Speaker 1: and Z. I was really annoyed and in the moment
Speaker 1: felt like he was picking her over me all and
Speaker 1: my jealousy got the best of me. So I started
Speaker 1: passively flirting with his boss. Nothing inappropriate, just being a
Speaker 1: little flirty and friendly. Well, apparently, one of my boyfriend's
Speaker 1: work friends noticed and asked him if I was cool.
Speaker 1: With that, he politely asked if we could head home
Speaker 1: because he was tired. I thought nothing of it, so
Speaker 1: I said sure and we said our goodbyes. The car
Speaker 1: ride home was completely silent. He told me he needed
Speaker 1: some space and was really hurt and embarrassed. How do
Speaker 1: I fix this? Was I really in the wrong for
Speaker 1: what I did? I'm really confused right now? Thanks, ladies?
Speaker 2: Can I go first? Helly, Yeah, you were really wrong.
Speaker 2: You don't never flirt with the boss. I don't care
Speaker 2: if it's your boss, your boyfriend's boss, your sister's boss,
Speaker 2: your grandmother's boss. You do not work with the.
Speaker 1: Boss a jealousy will do?
Speaker 2: Oh? Come on? First time?
Speaker 1: I couldn't she, Kathy? Why couldn't she? When he said,
Speaker 1: wait just one second, I'm telling her about X, Y
Speaker 1: and Z, chime right in and be a part of it.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Yes, wait to hear this part like
Speaker 1: and be a part of that conversation instead of feeling insecure.
Speaker 2: Well, so let me just tell you, you and I
Speaker 2: Shocker are both outgoing. We can walk into it's one
Speaker 2: of my strongest suits, and I know it's one of yours.
Speaker 2: We can walk into a cocktail party with no one
Speaker 2: we know and leave with one hundred best friends because
Speaker 2: you and I can enter. We have that capo. My
Speaker 2: husband was the guy who would stand around while I
Speaker 2: was talking and then get angry with me that I
Speaker 2: didn't stand by his side because he was not outgoing.
Speaker 1: But so, did you ever feel like he left you
Speaker 1: to talk to somebody?
Speaker 2: I would know, but he felt that I left him
Speaker 2: to talk to people, and he would get very angry.
Speaker 2: Now it wasn't flirting. I was just having conversations. Here's
Speaker 2: where you went wrong, Anonymous. Your boyfriend your Susan's right,
Speaker 2: Your jealousy got in the way. Your boyfriend is your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: If you don't have the faith and the trust in
Speaker 2: your relationship, and you see a red flag because he's
Speaker 2: chit chatting with a workmate who happens to.
Speaker 1: Be sounds like that's his personality.
Speaker 2: Like she said, I'm saying, if that is your worry
Speaker 2: that you cannot trust your boyfriend because he's chatting with
Speaker 2: a girl a workmate, you have bigger issues in your relationship.
Speaker 2: That's what I think you need to get at the
Speaker 2: heart of why you don't trust your boyfriend. That's what
Speaker 2: I would say.
Speaker 1: What do you think the only way out of it,
Speaker 1: and it's not even out of it, is tell the truth.
Speaker 1: Just say I was a little jealous. I saw you.
Speaker 1: To me, it looked like you were flirting with me,
Speaker 1: and I felt uncomfortable. So I decided to do this.
Speaker 2: So I decided to flirt with your boss. Well, I
Speaker 2: got to tell you his name. The roles were reversed.
Speaker 2: I'd have to rethink that relationship. I hate to sound harsh,
Speaker 2: but if I were digging a guy and he started
Speaker 2: flirting with my boss, I don't want that, would you?
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't want to do it.
Speaker 1: I understood where she was coming from about he leaves
Speaker 1: her at his work party. But of course you're going
Speaker 1: to his people.
Speaker 2: So chat. Go find some of the chat with don't
Speaker 2: hit on his boss. You got a room full of people, friend.
Speaker 1: She did, though she said, you don't care, I don't care.
Speaker 2: The point here is she thought it was flirting.
Speaker 1: Beg forgiveness. But now I can't let go of the
Speaker 1: fact that how it was making her feel that he
Speaker 1: didn't have the decency to include her in a conversation
Speaker 1: with Mia.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: She's standing there by herself. She don't know these people,
Speaker 1: and we talked.
Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry you and I shocker are going to disagree.
Speaker 2: Yet again, you are not talking about a ten year old.
Speaker 2: We are talking about adults who are in adult relationships.
Speaker 2: If your boyfriend is talking with someone else, be it
Speaker 2: male or female, you know what you do. Strike up
Speaker 2: a conversation with the guy or gown next to you,
Speaker 2: find something to talk about the cumulus clouds overhead, find
Speaker 2: something to be He has not gab like you, though, Well,
Speaker 2: she had the gift to gab with his boss.
Speaker 1: I think she should have stayed in the conversation with
Speaker 1: the X, Y and Z with Mia. That's what my
Speaker 1: butt would be if I thought he was flirting with her.
Speaker 2: Be right, So great answer. Hang out with Mia and
Speaker 2: your boyfriend in chit chat, or talk to the male
Speaker 2: or female next to you about what color socks the
Speaker 2: waiter has on there with the boss. Do not, ever,
Speaker 2: it is an axiom of life. Never forgot the thing
Speaker 2: to do. So I'm sorry that your boyfriends need space.
Speaker 2: I don't blame her. Do I sound harsh? My delivery harsh?
Speaker 2: Isn't if I felt? Yes?
Speaker 1: But she was wrong for doing that with the boss.
Speaker 1: I get it, because he didn't even notice. Somebody had
Speaker 1: to tell him. That's the best part. Maybe he isn't
Speaker 1: the one for you. Oh, she said, share with him.
Speaker 1: Do you share with him that you felt uncomfortable that
Speaker 1: he was flirting. It seemed like he was flirting. That
Speaker 1: didn't give you the right to do what you did.
Speaker 1: You admit fault. However, if you feel that way, then
Speaker 1: go be a part of it. And you still feel
Speaker 1: uncomfort rippled and freaking leave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just saying, in the future, do anything, Anonymous,
Speaker 2: anything but go hang up the lady's room. Do anything,
Speaker 2: pick dust off the carpet, you know, ask him there's
Speaker 2: a vacuum cleaner because you want to vacuum the drapes.
Speaker 2: Do anything, but do not flirt with your boyfriend's boss.
Speaker 2: All Right, We're moving on now that I've tortured her,
Speaker 2: and I'm really sorry, and I hope, I hope you
Speaker 2: guys get back together, Anonymous, but I really would encourage
Speaker 2: you to look in the mirror and evaluate why you
Speaker 2: don't trust your boyfriend, because that's really what is a
Speaker 2: part of this. It's really not funny, Kathy. It brings
Speaker 2: to mind Frederick is very friendly, and we're all French people.
Speaker 2: Nobody speak in my language, and he writes everybody and
Speaker 2: everybody loves them and write a little weird a couple
Speaker 2: of times. Not that I thought he was flirting, but
Speaker 2: just like, hey, I'm over here, and I did I
Speaker 2: tried to strike up a conversation and can't speak the language.
Speaker 1: So what do you do then?
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, when in doubt, go to the bar
Speaker 2: and get a drink, or your case, go to one
Speaker 2: of the boutiques and go buy yourself something. Let's move
Speaker 2: on along, moving wrong on the next one. Hi, Kathy
Speaker 2: and Susan. I need to know if I'm the bad
Speaker 2: guy here the other day. What can I just say
Speaker 2: before we get to this question When people write in
Speaker 2: and say, I need to know if I'm in the wrong,
Speaker 2: I need to know if I'm the bad guy. I
Speaker 2: need to know if I made a mistake. The rule
Speaker 2: of thumb is if you think you did, you probably did.
Speaker 2: Let's just say you know. Let's just cut it there, Okay,
Speaker 2: I need to know if I'm the bad guy here
Speaker 2: the other day? I poked fun there you go at
Speaker 2: my friend Lilah in our group Chap She's always sending
Speaker 2: us updates about her really shitty first dates, usually live texting,
Speaker 2: and all in good fun. So yesterday, when she said, ugh,
Speaker 2: another one bites the dust, I replied, Sis, I'm starting
Speaker 2: to think it's you crying emoji. Everyone in the group
Speaker 2: chap laughed, reacted to it, and we all quickly followed
Speaker 2: up with questions and jokes as usual. Well, she didn't
Speaker 2: respond after I sent that and left the group chat
Speaker 2: at the end of the night. When I texted her
Speaker 2: after she left the chat to see if she was
Speaker 2: upset with me, she didn't answer. It's been almost two
Speaker 2: days and I still haven't heard from her. What should
Speaker 2: I do? My friends are all staying out of bit
Speaker 2: but reassured me that it wasn't a big deal and
Speaker 2: to just give her time to cool off. I'm honestly
Speaker 2: really annoyed with her. Am I justified in feeling that way?
Speaker 1: Thanks, ladies, Yes, you are justified, because if she does
Speaker 1: this repeatedly and you're joking and saying maybe it's you,
Speaker 1: maybe there's nothing wrong with that. That was funny. Kathy's
Speaker 1: face is telling me different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like kind of stunned that you said that.
Speaker 2: I think what if it had been me. I you know,
Speaker 2: I don't like texting because there's no emotion in texting.
Speaker 2: You can't read the emojis, right, you don't. That's the
Speaker 2: problem texting. But had I done that and said something
Speaker 2: like maybe it's you, maybe she feels like there is
Speaker 2: something wrong with her. So what I would have done
Speaker 2: later is I would have texted Lyla said hey girlfriend
Speaker 2: or him, you know, hey, friend, I was kidding. I
Speaker 2: didn't mean it. I hope you didn't take a sense
Speaker 2: at it. No, no, no, he said that. She left
Speaker 2: the group chat and yels she texted her, and she
Speaker 2: left the chat to see if she was upset. She
Speaker 2: didn't answer, it's been two days. She left the chat
Speaker 2: to see she texted.
Speaker 1: Her in the group.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I wouldn't have texted to see if she
Speaker 2: was upset. I would have said, hey, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's you. I don't you know. I
Speaker 2: didn't mean to offend you.
Speaker 1: Maybe I was just teasing.
Speaker 2: I was teasing, and I'm sorry. I understand you probably
Speaker 2: didn't find it funny.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't think it was funny. I was
Speaker 1: just busting them a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm sorry and I won't do it again.
Speaker 2: But the fact that a girl not to join back
Speaker 2: in the text for two days over that, well, maybe
Speaker 2: that's why the dates are bad. I'm saying, maybe she
Speaker 2: feels badly, Maybe she feels like there is something wrong
Speaker 2: with her and that's why things started her feeling Another
Speaker 2: one bit that maybe she's feeling but it sounds like
Speaker 2: she can put it out there.
Speaker 1: Another one bites it does. Oh, but she can't take it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the case, Susan. Maybe she can't take it. Oh,
Speaker 2: look at you really take it? Can't take it on
Speaker 2: crying in a corner. What are you going to do?
Speaker 1: What happened?
Speaker 2: I said? Now I can't take it. I'm crying in
Speaker 2: a corner. You're going to say, see a land.
Speaker 1: When you buy your hair and say, snap the freak
Speaker 1: out of it. Cat, let's go.
Speaker 2: I'll get you a pizza and I will drink the
Speaker 2: tequila and Susan will have two slices of pizza. I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't think this person has the whoever
Speaker 2: it is, I don't think. I don't think this person
Speaker 2: els the right to be annoyed.
Speaker 1: I think she's asking us, Am I in the wrong?
Speaker 1: Is that how she started this one?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think you're in the wrong. Not for what
Speaker 2: you did. I think you're in the wrong for not
Speaker 2: reaching back out and again, and let's talk about it.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about your friendship has valued to me. I
Speaker 2: care about you, I love you. Let's not let this
Speaker 2: come between us. Come on, let's talk then, Anonymous, I
Speaker 2: would say, if you make an honest effort to talk
Speaker 2: with her, get it out in the open, what's really
Speaker 2: bothered her and she still doesn't talk to you, then
Speaker 2: that's her problem, not yours. But right now, I think
Speaker 2: you owe it. Do you agree to it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, and I don't
Speaker 1: think she was intending to hurt her feelings because this
Speaker 1: is no. I don't even there every time and she
Speaker 1: just everybody laughs.
Speaker 2: But some people are sensitive, Susan, especially if she's always getting.
Speaker 1: Consensitive when she goes another one bites the dust. That's
Speaker 1: not being real sensitive.
Speaker 2: No, that she said about herself. I know, I know,
Speaker 2: but maybe she's sensitive that guys break up with her.
Speaker 2: Who knows.
Speaker 1: No, she's saying the date sucks. She said she can't.
Speaker 1: Always sends updates about her really shitty first dates, usually
Speaker 1: live texting, and all in good fun. So yesterday she says,
Speaker 1: another one bites the dust. Yes, but Susan, your way,
Speaker 1: you crying emoji?
Speaker 2: That's funny. It is funny. But here's the thing. If
Speaker 2: you know, you and I make jokes all the time,
Speaker 2: but sometimes people make jokes when they're really hurting inside.
Speaker 2: And maybe she's hurting. So I'm just saying, maybe she's
Speaker 2: hurting that none of these dates ever go well. And
Speaker 2: if it were me, I would be thinking what's wrong
Speaker 2: with me? So for someone to voice that, I could
Speaker 2: see what she would feel bad. So I would try
Speaker 2: it again. Long and short of this is before we
Speaker 2: move on, I would try again to reach out to her, apologize,
Speaker 2: make sure she understands how she is valuable to you,
Speaker 2: you value your friendship with her, and try to make amend.
Speaker 2: And like Susan said, if she's still then that's her problem.
Speaker 2: You got to move on and let her cool off.
Speaker 2: All right, are you ready? But you are going to
Speaker 2: do a Golden spotlight suasan where we talk about something
Speaker 2: that impacts the Golden community. Okay, today we're talking about
Speaker 2: my favorite topic, retirement. Okay, so I want the things
Speaker 2: I want to talk about. I'm interested in other people's opinion.
Speaker 2: You know, I am retired, you're not really retired yet.
Speaker 2: But I don't want to day a guy who's not retired,
Speaker 2: because then he can't travel. He's limited to two or
Speaker 2: three weeks. Here. Look what Joan and Chalk are going through.
Speaker 2: She's retired. I mean, she's doing stuff the Bachelor, but
Speaker 2: she doesn't have a full time job. Chalk does not choice,
Speaker 2: though I don't care. It's by choice. He's not retired,
Speaker 2: she is. I am retired. I don't want a data
Speaker 2: guy who's not retired. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2: That is a big issue.
Speaker 1: I think a guy that's not retired and I have
Speaker 1: more free time than he, I mean than Yeah.
Speaker 2: But you're not really retired either, so you guys balance
Speaker 2: the balance though.
Speaker 1: I guess so now that would suck because you have
Speaker 1: to wait for him to be able to.
Speaker 2: And for me, when I retired, I did have a
Speaker 2: bit of an adjustment. You know, I didn't have the
Speaker 2: rigid structure of the schedule anymore. I could kind of
Speaker 2: do what I want when I want, and so when
Speaker 2: guys have asked me out. I've had some guys in
Speaker 2: their fifties and early sixties asked me out. I don't
Speaker 2: really want to do it. Remember that guy we met
Speaker 2: in California at the hotel. The guy was fifty eight. Yes,
Speaker 2: and he was really interested in me. And I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: but you work full time. He goes, we can make
Speaker 2: it work. He by coastal and he works full time.
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you think.
Speaker 1: I think just adjusting to retirement. Like I over the
Speaker 1: years had many many clients that one was retiring but
Speaker 1: the other one wasn't. And that adjustment. You know that
Speaker 1: he's home all the time and she's like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you know he needs a hobby or whatever. It is
Speaker 1: an adjustment. And if you don't plan on what activities
Speaker 1: or what you want to do, Yeah, you just got
Speaker 1: to think about it as it comes. Yeah, I do
Speaker 1: prepare for that.
Speaker 2: You have to. It's like dating again almost. It's like
Speaker 2: res kindling her friendship, a relationships.
Speaker 1: Definitely give him more chores since he was the one
Speaker 1: at home and I'm still worship.
Speaker 2: With Susan hamming down here with a mop and sponge
Speaker 2: on the kitchen.
Speaker 1: Clean the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's though, there are those things, the adjustment
Speaker 2: of time, like everyone has more time when you're retired dating.
Speaker 2: You know, I just said I want to date someone
Speaker 2: who's retired. What about I hit the elephant in the room,
Speaker 2: the nancys when you're.
Speaker 1: Retired and you didn't prepare well.
Speaker 2: Some people don't prepare well. But again it's you have
Speaker 2: the time and you want to balance the resources. Like
Speaker 2: do you think goldens, I don't know. Do you think
Speaker 2: goldens spend enough time thinking about what retirement's going to be,
Speaker 2: like can to finance what they want to do?
Speaker 1: Well? Goldens are in that you think younger people. I
Speaker 1: think younger people should focus more on what it's going
Speaker 1: to be to retire and start saving. Now I did
Speaker 1: it backwards and right, gret it because I always thought, oh,
Speaker 1: he's making a ton of money. I don't have to worry, right,
Speaker 1: I thought we were going to get a divorce, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Right? But but I mean I'm not saying my question right.
Speaker 2: Let's try this again. When when goldens when we're retired,
Speaker 2: Now we're golden, whether you're sixty, whatever it is, we're retired.
Speaker 2: I think that goldens. I've dated some guys who are like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm retired, I can do anything I want. Come to
Speaker 2: find out they can't because we're living longer. And I
Speaker 2: don't think goldens think enough about once they're retired.
Speaker 1: Do you mean financially like they did.
Speaker 2: I think that's one of the things that I've known, this.
Speaker 1: Golden somebody from traveling like crazy or spending money. They
Speaker 1: have to be on a budget because they know what's
Speaker 1: left and how they have to live.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying I have met a lot of goldens
Speaker 2: who don't get any thought. It's not I'm not talking
Speaker 2: about what I agree with what you're saying. Young people
Speaker 2: need to think back, you know, think hey, I'm going
Speaker 2: to be retired someday. I'm talking about the people I've
Speaker 2: met who are retired, who are spending like it's Christmas
Speaker 2: every day and they're like, yeah, I'll worry about that later.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think they've figured out that we're
Speaker 2: living longer, we're healthier. I find that amazing. You haven't
Speaker 2: come across.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I've always said to people,
Speaker 1: everybody back back when this is our parents and our grandparents,
Speaker 1: and they would not they would do with that, They
Speaker 1: wouldn't go on trips because they were saving it to
Speaker 1: their golden years. I totally disagree with that. I think,
Speaker 1: go while you're healthy and young, and you work for it,
Speaker 1: and you go and take your holiday, and then you
Speaker 1: pay for it and you save up for the next
Speaker 1: time when it's finally retirement. A lot of times Kathy
Speaker 1: who needs a knee replacement, who I know, my dad,
Speaker 1: bless him. He retired. A week later, he got a
Speaker 1: knee replacement, and six weeks later he passed, so he
Speaker 1: never got to enjoy his retirement. So it just happens.
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. Retirement looks so different today.
Speaker 2: People who are retired still want to Some people who
Speaker 2: are retired want to volunteer full time because they want
Speaker 2: things to do. I will be honest with you. Most
Speaker 2: of my friends, in fact, I would say ninety five
Speaker 2: percent of my friends are not retired. They're between age
Speaker 2: forty and sixty.
Speaker 1: And that's frustrating for us because we want to go
Speaker 1: do things and they can't because they're still working or rightet.
Speaker 2: But and so I find that I find having as
Speaker 2: much energy as I have as much time as I
Speaker 2: have and the desire to do things. I think sometimes
Speaker 2: people think retirement is going to be this opportunity to
Speaker 2: do everything you want to do. But you know what,
Speaker 2: I find I have to find people to do it
Speaker 2: with me. And it's like a whole new set of
Speaker 2: friends sometimes because you got to find people who can
Speaker 2: do those things with you. And I think retirement is
Speaker 2: not I mean, in my parents' generation, our parents do
Speaker 2: live length that we're living our grandparents right.
Speaker 1: Right right, And everybody's different, like they're not healthy enough
Speaker 1: to go enjoy things, like they can't do it because
Speaker 1: their health has been altered somehow.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think my advice to Golden is not that
Speaker 2: anyone's asking me today, but hey, what the hell? I
Speaker 2: think Golden should spend more time concerned about their health
Speaker 2: so that they can live active years. You know.
Speaker 1: Can I say something else, Kathy, something that I didn't realize. Okay,
Speaker 1: some people live on Medicare and they take.
Speaker 2: It no no, no, you mean social Security.
Speaker 1: Social Security and they take out for Medicare and they
Speaker 1: take out for this, and then they own a home,
Speaker 1: they have to pay taxes. There's nothing left for them.
Speaker 1: And and I don't think people think about that. You
Speaker 1: don't realize That's.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying. I think, I think, I think you
Speaker 2: and I are doing a free advertisement for AIRP today sign.
Speaker 2: But I do think that. I do think that retirement
Speaker 2: looks very different today and that and I think that's
Speaker 2: a good thing. But I will say I have had
Speaker 2: some challenges finding people active, in to date, finding girlfriends
Speaker 2: who can afford to travel or even want to travel.
Speaker 2: Retirement looks very different in twenty twenty five than it did.
Speaker 1: Our kids and our grandkids that are learning. You know,
Speaker 1: I can't tell them enough, put them away, put away
Speaker 1: for a ranger. Yeah, I'm telling you. I'm not telling
Speaker 1: you do you have it?
Speaker 2: But do you tell your kids? Because I know we
Speaker 2: have young grandchildren. I tell my kids all the time.
Speaker 2: First of all, you know you and I travel a lot.
Speaker 2: We're doing different things, and our kids are like, wait
Speaker 2: a minute, we need you to babysit. Yeah, sorry, I
Speaker 2: won't be home. But I always say to my kids
Speaker 2: how energetic we are. Do you think our kids appreciate
Speaker 2: how much energy we have in our retirement.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: My kids just worry about me spending their inheritance.
Speaker 2: Well, that you know what that is Actually another question
Speaker 2: for retirement. Do you do you think we should be
Speaker 2: saving for to give money to our kids and should
Speaker 2: we be spending every time in our retirement.
Speaker 1: Well, nobody spends every dime. But yes, you're hoping something's
Speaker 1: left for them. But I'm not going to go with
Speaker 1: al because I want to leave more. You're not not selfish.
Speaker 1: I worked all my life, you know, so you with
Speaker 1: them though, I like to go with them on vacation,
Speaker 1: Like I just came back from the Outer Banks with
Speaker 1: my son Christopher's family and a bunch of other people.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I brought my own family to Canada. Yes,
Speaker 2: I that, But in retirement again, it's very different. My
Speaker 2: retirement is very different from my parents when they retired.
Speaker 2: But but that is another thing I want when you
Speaker 2: talk about dating and retirement, I know you you have Frederick,
Speaker 2: but I still talk about in retirement. I want someone
Speaker 2: who wants who were family is important. I love spending
Speaker 2: time with my family in retirement. I think, to me,
Speaker 2: it's almost a red flag if I go out on
Speaker 2: a date with a guy and he's like my kids,
Speaker 2: that's their problem, you know. I'm I'm here to have fun,
Speaker 2: do you. I'm that's a red flat for me, because
Speaker 2: retirement is about.
Speaker 1: Having They wish I was around even more because.
Speaker 2: My kids you too. I don't know. I just think that,
Speaker 2: you know, people talk about being invisible once they retire,
Speaker 2: once they hurt sixty, being invisible. I just think retirement
Speaker 2: today looks very different. Words active, We travel, we do things,
Speaker 2: and I love that. And I hope all the people
Speaker 2: out there who are listening today who are retired, to
Speaker 2: realize that the misconceptions that you know you're retired, you
Speaker 2: crow up on a sofa and read a book and
Speaker 2: go to sleep. I hope people realize that that is
Speaker 2: not what retirement is anymore.
Speaker 1: Still still being alive and enjoying your life and your families.
Speaker 2: You know, get now in life. I mean I want
Speaker 2: retirement for me. Well, first of all, I plan on
Speaker 2: living another account and tell my kids at thirty.
Speaker 1: More years, oh I'll be long gone. Cat, I'll save
Speaker 1: you a spot. And that was fun.
Speaker 2: You're leaving me, Susan.
Speaker 1: Yes, today for you, but everybody, let us know what
Speaker 1: you thought about this conversation and where you're at in life.
Speaker 1: You know, my retirement, you are retired, Some not those
Speaker 1: of you that haven't looked into retirement savings.
Speaker 2: Get busy.
Speaker 1: That is Susan's because thank you so much for joining
Speaker 1: us today.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really great. I think I think these topics
Speaker 2: are all interesting and we hope that you know we
Speaker 2: gave you something to chew on, something to think about today. Yes,
Speaker 2: but in the meantime, be sure to follow us. That's
Speaker 2: our happy Hour because we have new episodes coming out
Speaker 2: every week. You don't want to miss it this week
Speaker 2: of retirement. Next week we're having a whole episode about dating.
Speaker 1: Twenty year olds or I don't know, you never know.
Speaker 2: What interests sex with twenty year olds.
Speaker 1: Listen in and make sure to submit your questions to us.
Speaker 2: And you know how to do that.
Speaker 1: Just go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or
Speaker 1: dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio
Speaker 2: app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,
Speaker 2: have a great week.
Speaker 1: Jaff