WEBVTT - Foolish Mistakes | Golden Hour

0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so

0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:13.520
<v Speaker 1>much for joining us again. We're so excited to be back.

0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:14.440
<v Speaker 1>How are you, Kathy.

0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:18.639
<v Speaker 2>I am fabulous. I am sitting cooling my heroes on vacasion,

0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:22.560
<v Speaker 2>loving the cool weather. But today we are going to

0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.600
<v Speaker 2>be answering more of your fan questions. Make sure you're

0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:29.240
<v Speaker 2>submitting them. We love reading them. Just go to Bachelor

0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:32.400
<v Speaker 2>nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.

0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:37.520
<v Speaker 1>Send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your opinions.

0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.320
<v Speaker 1>We want all of it. And you can also dm

0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.560
<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so before we get into the episode, we're going

0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:48.559
<v Speaker 2>to start with the question of the day. But can

0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.199
<v Speaker 2>I just say to you my favorite part? But I

0:00:51.240 --> 0:00:53.680
<v Speaker 2>just want to say, you know, I'm on vacation, I'm

0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:58.040
<v Speaker 2>in Canada. Do you just love the cool weather even

0:00:58.080 --> 0:00:58.640
<v Speaker 2>in summer?

0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:02.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes, till September. It gets real cool at night and

0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:05.000
<v Speaker 1>then the mornings are chilly and then it's really nice

0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:05.560
<v Speaker 1>all day.

0:01:06.200 --> 0:01:08.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean, this is such a tree for me because

0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm wearing sweaters and long pants in Texas, Like I

0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:13.920
<v Speaker 2>won't get with like this till like November.

0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.640
<v Speaker 1>But so lucky because when I was in Canada last

0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:18.520
<v Speaker 1>year it was one hundred and five.

0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, stay away from Canada. You're ruining this country,

0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:25.720
<v Speaker 2>all right. And by the way, I'll bring you some

0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:27.800
<v Speaker 2>maple syrup because I know you like to kick it.

0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.039
<v Speaker 2>All right, Here we go a question of the day.

0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:35.120
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever seen someone ruin a friendship or a

0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:41.720
<v Speaker 2>relationship just by how they handled something? What do you think?

0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:50.200
<v Speaker 1>It's hard for me to remember, but yes, people do

0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.080
<v Speaker 1>stupid things.

0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:58.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean I have I haven't personally done this, but

0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.720
<v Speaker 2>I have seen people let their mouth run away with

0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:07.320
<v Speaker 2>them and they'll say something that really offends the other person.

0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:12.320
<v Speaker 2>And I'm watching this squad, really did you just say that? Right?

0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.120
<v Speaker 1>And they regretted after all, some regot it afterwards.

0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:18.839
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I mean, I think I think it's unfortunate though,

0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:22.079
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think sometimes, you know, your mouth gets

0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:22.760
<v Speaker 2>away with you.

0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.640
<v Speaker 1>You were you ever in a situation where two of

0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.399
<v Speaker 1>your friends and one of them was being a dick

0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:32.240
<v Speaker 1>to the other one, and you're trying not to pass judgment,

0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.280
<v Speaker 1>I open my big mouth. It's none of my business.

0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.160
<v Speaker 1>But I was in the same car and I'm like, yo,

0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:39.239
<v Speaker 1>don't talk to him like that.

0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Wait, and then did their friendship deteriorate?

0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.519
<v Speaker 1>No, they're married, But no, I've.

0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Had I mean, look at look at Teresa me. I

0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:54.000
<v Speaker 2>told her to zip it and how long did it take? Yeah?

0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean, but how long did it take? Right? It's

0:02:56.760 --> 0:03:01.280
<v Speaker 2>I think people sometimes don't think. And again we're older,

0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.880
<v Speaker 2>so we think First's.

0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.480
<v Speaker 1>Something I learned in my golden years.

0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:11.000
<v Speaker 2>We think first before we speak, and so I will

0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.960
<v Speaker 2>say I've been guilty. This I have been guilty of.

0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's ever ruined or relationship, but I

0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:20.639
<v Speaker 2>have been guilty of saying something. My sister will often

0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:23.959
<v Speaker 2>say to me, Kathy, you are an English major. You're

0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:29.440
<v Speaker 2>a wordsmith. Beise with no no, no, no, not grammar. Be

0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:32.720
<v Speaker 2>precise with your words so that you mean what you say,

0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:35.840
<v Speaker 2>and you say what you mean. Sometimes I will say

0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:39.040
<v Speaker 2>something and it's like, well, I didn't mean it that way.

0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:43.760
<v Speaker 2>So I think sometimes people have to remember that what

0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.760
<v Speaker 2>you say, what comes out of your mouth is what.

0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.680
<v Speaker 1>People hear, hand in hand with the delivery. That's right

0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.640
<v Speaker 1>to soften things up. Even though you're saying something that's

0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:57.440
<v Speaker 1>not a positive thing, but the way you say it,

0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:01.560
<v Speaker 1>people can accept it a little easier sometimes, but if

0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:07.520
<v Speaker 1>you say it like harshly, it's an immediate defense.

0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.080
<v Speaker 2>You and I just talked about this. I met a

0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:16.680
<v Speaker 2>woman recently in Bachelor World who reminded me of me

0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.680
<v Speaker 2>and her delivery. I was like, wow, it was like

0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.520
<v Speaker 2>holding a mirror up and because I liked her a lot,

0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:26.280
<v Speaker 2>I liked her a lot, but I could see where

0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:28.960
<v Speaker 2>what she was saying was right. There was you know

0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.640
<v Speaker 2>so so, but I've never lost a friendship over it.

0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.279
<v Speaker 2>Then I'm aware of I've never lost a relationship today.

0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:38.720
<v Speaker 1>When I said earlier about the recap on Bachelor in Paradise,

0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:43.359
<v Speaker 1>how I related to Parisa, and I'm so glad that

0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:46.360
<v Speaker 1>I saw it because I used to be a lot

0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.880
<v Speaker 1>like that, Like pullback, Susan, don't give it all because

0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.839
<v Speaker 1>it could be a turn off. It's smothering.

0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh a minute, well, we don't have time to get

0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.880
<v Speaker 2>back into that today. But I thought you were saying

0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:03.960
<v Speaker 2>earlier that you thought it was great that Parisa complimented him.

0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:06.200
<v Speaker 1>I did because I used to do the same things,

0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.880
<v Speaker 1>smother them with good, good, good, good good. And then

0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.719
<v Speaker 1>you know so basically what that means is it's all

0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.960
<v Speaker 1>about to chase with men, and if you're too available?

0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:21.159
<v Speaker 2>So now whoa we just changed the question of the day.

0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:25.920
<v Speaker 2>We did. We're going to talk about this. You're telling

0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.640
<v Speaker 2>me if you're too available, the relationship isn't going to

0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:29.360
<v Speaker 2>work out.

0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:33.320
<v Speaker 1>A lot of times, like they enjoyed the chase, when

0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:35.920
<v Speaker 1>you're and I'm not good at it, when you're playing

0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:40.320
<v Speaker 1>a little hard to get if you will? You know

0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:42.920
<v Speaker 1>the books that says be busy when they call. What

0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:44.440
<v Speaker 1>do you mean I'm not busy? I want to go

0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:44.920
<v Speaker 1>out with them?

0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:49.120
<v Speaker 2>Would I do that? Susan's like, wait a minute, I

0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.240
<v Speaker 2>need ten minutes to put on my eyeliner. I'll be

0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:51.760
<v Speaker 2>right there.

0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.279
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever do that? Did you ever say you

0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:55.719
<v Speaker 1>were busy?

0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.600
<v Speaker 2>You think I play games?

0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I forgot she didn't they she got married and went

0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:06.680
<v Speaker 1>to Berlin. No, not Scotland, Scotland. Okay, with Susan, we

0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:11.040
<v Speaker 1>have a little test here. Berlin is in what country?

0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.440
<v Speaker 1>Berlin is Teresa, Scotland is Kathy. And we just had

0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.359
<v Speaker 1>a tiny little bit of a technical difficulty that I

0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:21.000
<v Speaker 1>had to take a picture of your face that was frozen.

0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:25.440
<v Speaker 3>Kathy was adorable. And with that being said, we're going

0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:29.360
<v Speaker 3>to give a questions. All right, we'll get into our

0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.360
<v Speaker 3>fan questions for today. I'm going to start us off

0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:36.960
<v Speaker 3>with the first one. You ready, ready, Hey, ladies, I think.

0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I messed up and I need some help. I was

0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.240
<v Speaker 1>at my boyfriend's company party this past Friday. It was

0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.640
<v Speaker 1>fun at first until I looked over and saw my

0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:52.359
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend chatting with one of his coworkers let's call her Mia.

0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.760
<v Speaker 1>To me, their conversation seemed super flirty, and it was

0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.240
<v Speaker 1>really pissing me off. He has a tendency to be

0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:04.520
<v Speaker 1>a social butterfly and bounce around the room while I'm

0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:09.279
<v Speaker 1>feeling awkward. I don't usually clam up in social situations,

0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.880
<v Speaker 1>but being around your partner's coworkers that you don't know

0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.600
<v Speaker 1>is really intimidating. When I went over to grab him,

0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:20.960
<v Speaker 1>he said, one sec I'm telling Mia about X, Y

0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:24.480
<v Speaker 1>and Z. I was really annoyed and in the moment

0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:28.520
<v Speaker 1>felt like he was picking her over me all and

0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.400
<v Speaker 1>my jealousy got the best of me. So I started

0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:36.480
<v Speaker 1>passively flirting with his boss. Nothing inappropriate, just being a

0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:41.760
<v Speaker 1>little flirty and friendly. Well, apparently, one of my boyfriend's

0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:45.760
<v Speaker 1>work friends noticed and asked him if I was cool.

0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.200
<v Speaker 1>With that, he politely asked if we could head home

0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:52.200
<v Speaker 1>because he was tired. I thought nothing of it, so

0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:55.440
<v Speaker 1>I said sure and we said our goodbyes. The car

0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:59.120
<v Speaker 1>ride home was completely silent. He told me he needed

0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:02.200
<v Speaker 1>some space and was really hurt and embarrassed. How do

0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.000
<v Speaker 1>I fix this? Was I really in the wrong for

0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:08.440
<v Speaker 1>what I did? I'm really confused right now? Thanks, ladies?

0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Can I go first? Helly, Yeah, you were really wrong.

0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.480
<v Speaker 2>You don't never flirt with the boss. I don't care

0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:20.000
<v Speaker 2>if it's your boss, your boyfriend's boss, your sister's boss,

0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.880
<v Speaker 2>your grandmother's boss. You do not work with the.

0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.640
<v Speaker 1>Boss a jealousy will do?

0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Come on? First time?

0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.680
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't she, Kathy? Why couldn't she? When he said,

0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.880
<v Speaker 1>wait just one second, I'm telling her about X, Y

0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:35.600
<v Speaker 1>and Z, chime right in and be a part of it.

0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, Yes, wait to hear this part like

0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:41.800
<v Speaker 1>and be a part of that conversation instead of feeling insecure.

0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:44.880
<v Speaker 2>Well, so let me just tell you, you and I

0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:49.720
<v Speaker 2>Shocker are both outgoing. We can walk into it's one

0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:51.680
<v Speaker 2>of my strongest suits, and I know it's one of yours.

0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:55.000
<v Speaker 2>We can walk into a cocktail party with no one

0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:57.839
<v Speaker 2>we know and leave with one hundred best friends because

0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.920
<v Speaker 2>you and I can enter. We have that capo. My

0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.600
<v Speaker 2>husband was the guy who would stand around while I

0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:07.440
<v Speaker 2>was talking and then get angry with me that I

0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.280
<v Speaker 2>didn't stand by his side because he was not outgoing.

0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.120
<v Speaker 1>But so, did you ever feel like he left you

0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:14.080
<v Speaker 1>to talk to somebody?

0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I would know, but he felt that I left him

0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.800
<v Speaker 2>to talk to people, and he would get very angry.

0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.480
<v Speaker 2>Now it wasn't flirting. I was just having conversations. Here's

0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:28.360
<v Speaker 2>where you went wrong, Anonymous. Your boyfriend your Susan's right,

0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Your jealousy got in the way. Your boyfriend is your boyfriend.

0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.600
<v Speaker 2>If you don't have the faith and the trust in

0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:40.040
<v Speaker 2>your relationship, and you see a red flag because he's

0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.719
<v Speaker 2>chit chatting with a workmate who happens to.

0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Be sounds like that's his personality.

0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:49.559
<v Speaker 2>Like she said, I'm saying, if that is your worry

0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.400
<v Speaker 2>that you cannot trust your boyfriend because he's chatting with

0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:58.920
<v Speaker 2>a girl a workmate, you have bigger issues in your relationship.

0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:00.960
<v Speaker 2>That's what I think you need to get at the

0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.440
<v Speaker 2>heart of why you don't trust your boyfriend. That's what

0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:05.080
<v Speaker 2>I would say.

0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.120
<v Speaker 1>What do you think the only way out of it,

0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.600
<v Speaker 1>and it's not even out of it, is tell the truth.

0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Just say I was a little jealous. I saw you.

0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.400
<v Speaker 1>To me, it looked like you were flirting with me,

0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.240
<v Speaker 1>and I felt uncomfortable. So I decided to do this.

0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.560
<v Speaker 2>So I decided to flirt with your boss. Well, I

0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:24.520
<v Speaker 2>got to tell you his name. The roles were reversed.

0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.760
<v Speaker 2>I'd have to rethink that relationship. I hate to sound harsh,

0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:31.480
<v Speaker 2>but if I were digging a guy and he started

0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:34.360
<v Speaker 2>flirting with my boss, I don't want that, would you?

0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:36.719
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I wouldn't want to do it.

0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.560
<v Speaker 1>I understood where she was coming from about he leaves

0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:43.240
<v Speaker 1>her at his work party. But of course you're going

0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:44.760
<v Speaker 1>to his people.

0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.440
<v Speaker 2>So chat. Go find some of the chat with don't

0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.679
<v Speaker 2>hit on his boss. You got a room full of people, friend.

0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:55.840
<v Speaker 1>She did, though she said, you don't care, I don't care.

0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.960
<v Speaker 2>The point here is she thought it was flirting.

0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Beg forgiveness. But now I can't let go of the

0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:06.600
<v Speaker 1>fact that how it was making her feel that he

0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:11.760
<v Speaker 1>didn't have the decency to include her in a conversation

0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:12.480
<v Speaker 1>with Mia.

0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:14.160
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I mean?

0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.960
<v Speaker 1>She's standing there by herself. She don't know these people,

0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:18.480
<v Speaker 1>and we talked.

0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:22.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm sorry you and I shocker are going to disagree.

0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:26.000
<v Speaker 2>Yet again, you are not talking about a ten year old.

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:30.400
<v Speaker 2>We are talking about adults who are in adult relationships.

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 2>If your boyfriend is talking with someone else, be it

0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 2>male or female, you know what you do. Strike up

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.040
<v Speaker 2>a conversation with the guy or gown next to you,

0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:45.959
<v Speaker 2>find something to talk about the cumulus clouds overhead, find

0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:50.079
<v Speaker 2>something to be He has not gab like you, though, Well,

0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:52.160
<v Speaker 2>she had the gift to gab with his boss.

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 1>I think she should have stayed in the conversation with

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 1>the X, Y and Z with Mia. That's what my

0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.840
<v Speaker 1>butt would be if I thought he was flirting with her.

0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Be right, So great answer. Hang out with Mia and

0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:08.800
<v Speaker 2>your boyfriend in chit chat, or talk to the male

0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:12.160
<v Speaker 2>or female next to you about what color socks the

0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:19.600
<v Speaker 2>waiter has on there with the boss. Do not, ever,

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.199
<v Speaker 2>it is an axiom of life. Never forgot the thing

0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:26.640
<v Speaker 2>to do. So I'm sorry that your boyfriends need space.

0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't blame her. Do I sound harsh? My delivery harsh?

0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Isn't if I felt? Yes?

0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.000
<v Speaker 1>But she was wrong for doing that with the boss.

0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:38.640
<v Speaker 1>I get it, because he didn't even notice. Somebody had

0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:40.680
<v Speaker 1>to tell him. That's the best part. Maybe he isn't

0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:44.440
<v Speaker 1>the one for you. Oh, she said, share with him.

0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you share with him that you felt uncomfortable that

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.280
<v Speaker 1>he was flirting. It seemed like he was flirting. That

0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.320
<v Speaker 1>didn't give you the right to do what you did.

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 1>You admit fault. However, if you feel that way, then

0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.600
<v Speaker 1>go be a part of it. And you still feel

0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 1>uncomfort rippled and freaking leave.

0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:06.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm just saying, in the future, do anything, Anonymous,

0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:12.160
<v Speaker 2>anything but go hang up the lady's room. Do anything,

0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 2>pick dust off the carpet, you know, ask him there's

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 2>a vacuum cleaner because you want to vacuum the drapes.

0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 2>Do anything, but do not flirt with your boyfriend's boss.

0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.400
<v Speaker 2>All Right, We're moving on now that I've tortured her,

0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.440
<v Speaker 2>and I'm really sorry, and I hope, I hope you

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.720
<v Speaker 2>guys get back together, Anonymous, but I really would encourage

0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:45.160
<v Speaker 2>you to look in the mirror and evaluate why you

0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.400
<v Speaker 2>don't trust your boyfriend, because that's really what is a

0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:49.920
<v Speaker 2>part of this. It's really not funny, Kathy. It brings

0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:54.840
<v Speaker 2>to mind Frederick is very friendly, and we're all French people.

0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Nobody speak in my language, and he writes everybody and

0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.959
<v Speaker 2>everybody loves them and write a little weird a couple

0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.280
<v Speaker 2>of times. Not that I thought he was flirting, but

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.600
<v Speaker 2>just like, hey, I'm over here, and I did I

0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.480
<v Speaker 2>tried to strike up a conversation and can't speak the language.

0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:13.840
<v Speaker 1>So what do you do then?

0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:17.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, listen, when in doubt, go to the bar

0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:21.400
<v Speaker 2>and get a drink, or your case, go to one

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 2>of the boutiques and go buy yourself something. Let's move

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.680
<v Speaker 2>on along, moving wrong on the next one. Hi, Kathy

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 2>and Susan. I need to know if I'm the bad

0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 2>guy here the other day. What can I just say

0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.440
<v Speaker 2>before we get to this question When people write in

0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:41.880
<v Speaker 2>and say, I need to know if I'm in the wrong,

0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.240
<v Speaker 2>I need to know if I'm the bad guy. I

0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:47.160
<v Speaker 2>need to know if I made a mistake. The rule

0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 2>of thumb is if you think you did, you probably did.

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Let's just say you know. Let's just cut it there, Okay,

0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.400
<v Speaker 2>I need to know if I'm the bad guy here

0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:01.040
<v Speaker 2>the other day? I poked fun there you go at

0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:05.480
<v Speaker 2>my friend Lilah in our group Chap She's always sending

0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:10.200
<v Speaker 2>us updates about her really shitty first dates, usually live texting,

0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:14.280
<v Speaker 2>and all in good fun. So yesterday, when she said, ugh,

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:20.240
<v Speaker 2>another one bites the dust, I replied, Sis, I'm starting

0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:24.400
<v Speaker 2>to think it's you crying emoji. Everyone in the group

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:28.080
<v Speaker 2>chap laughed, reacted to it, and we all quickly followed

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 2>up with questions and jokes as usual. Well, she didn't

0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.800
<v Speaker 2>respond after I sent that and left the group chat

0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.360
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the night. When I texted her

0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.920
<v Speaker 2>after she left the chat to see if she was

0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:44.000
<v Speaker 2>upset with me, she didn't answer. It's been almost two

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 2>days and I still haven't heard from her. What should

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:49.680
<v Speaker 2>I do? My friends are all staying out of bit

0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 2>but reassured me that it wasn't a big deal and

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.080
<v Speaker 2>to just give her time to cool off. I'm honestly

0:15:56.200 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 2>really annoyed with her. Am I justified in feeling that way?

0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Thanks, ladies, Yes, you are justified, because if she does

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.080
<v Speaker 1>this repeatedly and you're joking and saying maybe it's you,

0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 1>maybe there's nothing wrong with that. That was funny. Kathy's

0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>face is telling me different.

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:18.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm like kind of stunned that you said that.

0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:24.520
<v Speaker 2>I think what if it had been me. I you know,

0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't like texting because there's no emotion in texting.

0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.840
<v Speaker 2>You can't read the emojis, right, you don't. That's the

0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:34.200
<v Speaker 2>problem texting. But had I done that and said something

0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.240
<v Speaker 2>like maybe it's you, maybe she feels like there is

0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 2>something wrong with her. So what I would have done

0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:44.720
<v Speaker 2>later is I would have texted Lyla said hey girlfriend

0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.520
<v Speaker 2>or him, you know, hey, friend, I was kidding. I

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't mean it. I hope you didn't take a sense

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:57.600
<v Speaker 2>at it. No, no, no, he said that. She left

0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:00.560
<v Speaker 2>the group chat and yels she texted her, and she

0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.480
<v Speaker 2>left the chat to see if she was upset. She

0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't answer, it's been two days. She left the chat

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:10.720
<v Speaker 2>to see she texted.

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Her in the group.

0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't. I wouldn't have texted to see if she

0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:17.240
<v Speaker 2>was upset. I would have said, hey, I'm really sorry.

0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's you. I don't you know. I

0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:21.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't mean to offend you.

0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.320
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I was just teasing.

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:26.879
<v Speaker 2>I was teasing, and I'm sorry. I understand you probably

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:28.360
<v Speaker 2>didn't find it funny.

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.399
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't think it was funny. I was

0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.040
<v Speaker 1>just busting them a little bit.

0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'm sorry and I won't do it again.

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:39.160
<v Speaker 2>But the fact that a girl not to join back

0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:42.720
<v Speaker 2>in the text for two days over that, well, maybe

0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:48.080
<v Speaker 2>that's why the dates are bad. I'm saying, maybe she

0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:51.760
<v Speaker 2>feels badly, Maybe she feels like there is something wrong

0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:56.240
<v Speaker 2>with her and that's why things started her feeling Another

0:17:56.280 --> 0:18:00.440
<v Speaker 2>one bit that maybe she's feeling but it sounds like

0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:02.200
<v Speaker 2>she can put it out there.

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Another one bites it does. Oh, but she can't take it,

0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:05.720
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean?

0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:11.160
<v Speaker 2>Maybe that's the case, Susan. Maybe she can't take it. Oh,

0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:16.520
<v Speaker 2>look at you really take it? Can't take it on

0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.159
<v Speaker 2>crying in a corner. What are you going to do?

0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:19.640
<v Speaker 1>What happened?

0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.919
<v Speaker 2>I said? Now I can't take it. I'm crying in

0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 2>a corner. You're going to say, see a land.

0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:25.680
<v Speaker 1>When you buy your hair and say, snap the freak

0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:27.480
<v Speaker 1>out of it. Cat, let's go.

0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:32.639
<v Speaker 2>I'll get you a pizza and I will drink the

0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 2>tequila and Susan will have two slices of pizza. I

0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.000
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I don't think this person has the whoever

0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:43.840
<v Speaker 2>it is, I don't think. I don't think this person

0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 2>els the right to be annoyed.

0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:48.320
<v Speaker 1>I think she's asking us, Am I in the wrong?

0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Is that how she started this one?

0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I think you're in the wrong. Not for what

0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.480
<v Speaker 2>you did. I think you're in the wrong for not

0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:58.640
<v Speaker 2>reaching back out and again, and let's talk about it.

0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about your friendship has valued to me. I

0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:04.960
<v Speaker 2>care about you, I love you. Let's not let this

0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:13.000
<v Speaker 2>come between us. Come on, let's talk then, Anonymous, I

0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 2>would say, if you make an honest effort to talk

0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.480
<v Speaker 2>with her, get it out in the open, what's really

0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.120
<v Speaker 2>bothered her and she still doesn't talk to you, then

0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:26.960
<v Speaker 2>that's her problem, not yours. But right now, I think

0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:28.760
<v Speaker 2>you owe it. Do you agree to it.

0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, and I don't

0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:34.240
<v Speaker 1>think she was intending to hurt her feelings because this

0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:36.359
<v Speaker 1>is no. I don't even there every time and she

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:37.720
<v Speaker 1>just everybody laughs.

0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:42.200
<v Speaker 2>But some people are sensitive, Susan, especially if she's always getting.

0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Consensitive when she goes another one bites the dust. That's

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:46.720
<v Speaker 1>not being real sensitive.

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:51.199
<v Speaker 2>No, that she said about herself. I know, I know,

0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.119
<v Speaker 2>but maybe she's sensitive that guys break up with her.

0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:55.120
<v Speaker 2>Who knows.

0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.840
<v Speaker 1>No, she's saying the date sucks. She said she can't.

0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Always sends updates about her really shitty first dates, usually

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:12.200
<v Speaker 1>live texting, and all in good fun. So yesterday she says,

0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:17.920
<v Speaker 1>another one bites the dust. Yes, but Susan, your way,

0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 1>you crying emoji?

0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:24.000
<v Speaker 2>That's funny. It is funny. But here's the thing. If

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, you and I make jokes all the time,

0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:30.200
<v Speaker 2>but sometimes people make jokes when they're really hurting inside.

0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:34.200
<v Speaker 2>And maybe she's hurting. So I'm just saying, maybe she's

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.800
<v Speaker 2>hurting that none of these dates ever go well. And

0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 2>if it were me, I would be thinking what's wrong

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>with me? So for someone to voice that, I could

0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:46.000
<v Speaker 2>see what she would feel bad. So I would try

0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:47.840
<v Speaker 2>it again. Long and short of this is before we

0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:51.840
<v Speaker 2>move on, I would try again to reach out to her, apologize,

0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:55.359
<v Speaker 2>make sure she understands how she is valuable to you,

0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.720
<v Speaker 2>you value your friendship with her, and try to make amend.

0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:01.879
<v Speaker 2>And like Susan said, if she's still then that's her problem.

0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:03.960
<v Speaker 2>You got to move on and let her cool off.

0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.760
<v Speaker 2>All right, are you ready? But you are going to

0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:11.440
<v Speaker 2>do a Golden spotlight suasan where we talk about something

0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:15.920
<v Speaker 2>that impacts the Golden community. Okay, today we're talking about

0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:21.160
<v Speaker 2>my favorite topic, retirement. Okay, so I want the things

0:21:21.200 --> 0:21:25.120
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about. I'm interested in other people's opinion.

0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:30.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, I am retired, you're not really retired yet.

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:34.280
<v Speaker 2>But I don't want to day a guy who's not retired,

0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:38.280
<v Speaker 2>because then he can't travel. He's limited to two or

0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:41.280
<v Speaker 2>three weeks. Here. Look what Joan and Chalk are going through.

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:45.720
<v Speaker 2>She's retired. I mean, she's doing stuff the Bachelor, but

0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:48.919
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't have a full time job. Chalk does not choice,

0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:52.359
<v Speaker 2>though I don't care. It's by choice. He's not retired,

0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 2>she is. I am retired. I don't want a data

0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:58.720
<v Speaker 2>guy who's not retired. How do you feel about that?

0:21:58.720 --> 0:21:59.639
<v Speaker 2>That is a big issue.

0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:02.119
<v Speaker 1>I think a guy that's not retired and I have

0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:05.120
<v Speaker 1>more free time than he, I mean than Yeah.

0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.160
<v Speaker 2>But you're not really retired either, so you guys balance

0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 2>the balance though.

0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:12.399
<v Speaker 1>I guess so now that would suck because you have

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:14.280
<v Speaker 1>to wait for him to be able to.

0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:19.639
<v Speaker 2>And for me, when I retired, I did have a

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:22.440
<v Speaker 2>bit of an adjustment. You know, I didn't have the

0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:25.639
<v Speaker 2>rigid structure of the schedule anymore. I could kind of

0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.359
<v Speaker 2>do what I want when I want, and so when

0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:30.639
<v Speaker 2>guys have asked me out. I've had some guys in

0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:34.840
<v Speaker 2>their fifties and early sixties asked me out. I don't

0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:38.120
<v Speaker 2>really want to do it. Remember that guy we met

0:22:38.119 --> 0:22:41.520
<v Speaker 2>in California at the hotel. The guy was fifty eight. Yes,

0:22:41.680 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 2>and he was really interested in me. And I said, yeah,

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:45.880
<v Speaker 2>but you work full time. He goes, we can make

0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:49.520
<v Speaker 2>it work. He by coastal and he works full time.

0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:50.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean, what do you think.

0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:54.040
<v Speaker 1>I think just adjusting to retirement. Like I over the

0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:58.879
<v Speaker 1>years had many many clients that one was retiring but

0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:02.320
<v Speaker 1>the other one wasn't. And that adjustment. You know that

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:06.200
<v Speaker 1>he's home all the time and she's like, oh my gosh,

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.840
<v Speaker 1>you know he needs a hobby or whatever. It is

0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:13.800
<v Speaker 1>an adjustment. And if you don't plan on what activities

0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 1>or what you want to do, Yeah, you just got

0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:20.280
<v Speaker 1>to think about it as it comes. Yeah, I do

0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:21.480
<v Speaker 1>prepare for that.

0:23:21.680 --> 0:23:25.040
<v Speaker 2>You have to. It's like dating again almost. It's like

0:23:25.320 --> 0:23:27.600
<v Speaker 2>res kindling her friendship, a relationships.

0:23:27.600 --> 0:23:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Definitely give him more chores since he was the one

0:23:30.560 --> 0:23:32.120
<v Speaker 1>at home and I'm still worship.

0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:34.480
<v Speaker 2>With Susan hamming down here with a mop and sponge

0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:35.280
<v Speaker 2>on the kitchen.

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Clean the bathroom.

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so there's though, there are those things, the adjustment

0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:51.440
<v Speaker 2>of time, like everyone has more time when you're retired dating.

0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:54.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, I just said I want to date someone

0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:58.080
<v Speaker 2>who's retired. What about I hit the elephant in the room,

0:23:58.720 --> 0:24:00.880
<v Speaker 2>the nancys when you're.

0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:02.720
<v Speaker 1>Retired and you didn't prepare well.

0:24:03.760 --> 0:24:07.720
<v Speaker 2>Some people don't prepare well. But again it's you have

0:24:07.840 --> 0:24:10.960
<v Speaker 2>the time and you want to balance the resources. Like

0:24:11.040 --> 0:24:14.160
<v Speaker 2>do you think goldens, I don't know. Do you think

0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:17.520
<v Speaker 2>goldens spend enough time thinking about what retirement's going to be,

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.360
<v Speaker 2>like can to finance what they want to do?

0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:25.199
<v Speaker 1>Well? Goldens are in that you think younger people. I

0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:29.480
<v Speaker 1>think younger people should focus more on what it's going

0:24:29.520 --> 0:24:32.200
<v Speaker 1>to be to retire and start saving. Now I did

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:35.200
<v Speaker 1>it backwards and right, gret it because I always thought, oh,

0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:37.879
<v Speaker 1>he's making a ton of money. I don't have to worry, right,

0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:40.159
<v Speaker 1>I thought we were going to get a divorce, you

0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:40.840
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean?

0:24:41.400 --> 0:24:46.480
<v Speaker 2>Right? But but I mean I'm not saying my question right.

0:24:46.560 --> 0:24:49.480
<v Speaker 2>Let's try this again. When when goldens when we're retired,

0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Now we're golden, whether you're sixty, whatever it is, we're retired.

0:24:54.800 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 2>I think that goldens. I've dated some guys who are like, hey,

0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm retired, I can do anything I want. Come to

0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 2>find out they can't because we're living longer. And I

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 2>don't think goldens think enough about once they're retired.

0:25:11.880 --> 0:25:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you mean financially like they did.

0:25:13.640 --> 0:25:15.679
<v Speaker 2>I think that's one of the things that I've known, this.

0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:19.800
<v Speaker 1>Golden somebody from traveling like crazy or spending money. They

0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:21.960
<v Speaker 1>have to be on a budget because they know what's

0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 1>left and how they have to live.

0:25:23.760 --> 0:25:26.119
<v Speaker 2>But I'm saying I have met a lot of goldens

0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:29.640
<v Speaker 2>who don't get any thought. It's not I'm not talking

0:25:29.680 --> 0:25:31.800
<v Speaker 2>about what I agree with what you're saying. Young people

0:25:31.880 --> 0:25:34.080
<v Speaker 2>need to think back, you know, think hey, I'm going

0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>to be retired someday. I'm talking about the people I've

0:25:36.840 --> 0:25:41.080
<v Speaker 2>met who are retired, who are spending like it's Christmas

0:25:41.119 --> 0:25:44.400
<v Speaker 2>every day and they're like, yeah, I'll worry about that later.

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I don't think they've figured out that we're

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:53.560
<v Speaker 2>living longer, we're healthier. I find that amazing. You haven't

0:25:53.920 --> 0:25:54.680
<v Speaker 2>come across.

0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:57.200
<v Speaker 1>One of the things that I've always said to people,

0:25:57.320 --> 0:26:01.280
<v Speaker 1>everybody back back when this is our parents and our grandparents,

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:04.119
<v Speaker 1>and they would not they would do with that, They

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:06.600
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't go on trips because they were saving it to

0:26:06.680 --> 0:26:11.320
<v Speaker 1>their golden years. I totally disagree with that. I think,

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:14.200
<v Speaker 1>go while you're healthy and young, and you work for it,

0:26:14.280 --> 0:26:17.439
<v Speaker 1>and you go and take your holiday, and then you

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:19.480
<v Speaker 1>pay for it and you save up for the next

0:26:19.520 --> 0:26:24.840
<v Speaker 1>time when it's finally retirement. A lot of times Kathy

0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:28.960
<v Speaker 1>who needs a knee replacement, who I know, my dad,

0:26:28.960 --> 0:26:31.879
<v Speaker 1>bless him. He retired. A week later, he got a

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:35.639
<v Speaker 1>knee replacement, and six weeks later he passed, so he

0:26:35.880 --> 0:26:40.080
<v Speaker 1>never got to enjoy his retirement. So it just happens.

0:26:40.160 --> 0:26:44.040
<v Speaker 2>But that's what I'm saying. Retirement looks so different today.

0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>People who are retired still want to Some people who

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:52.240
<v Speaker 2>are retired want to volunteer full time because they want

0:26:52.240 --> 0:26:55.359
<v Speaker 2>things to do. I will be honest with you. Most

0:26:55.400 --> 0:27:00.359
<v Speaker 2>of my friends, in fact, I would say ninety five

0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:04.240
<v Speaker 2>percent of my friends are not retired. They're between age

0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:05.160
<v Speaker 2>forty and sixty.

0:27:05.480 --> 0:27:09.240
<v Speaker 1>And that's frustrating for us because we want to go

0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 1>do things and they can't because they're still working or rightet.

0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:17.720
<v Speaker 2>But and so I find that I find having as

0:27:17.760 --> 0:27:22.199
<v Speaker 2>much energy as I have as much time as I

0:27:22.200 --> 0:27:26.119
<v Speaker 2>have and the desire to do things. I think sometimes

0:27:26.160 --> 0:27:29.840
<v Speaker 2>people think retirement is going to be this opportunity to

0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:31.520
<v Speaker 2>do everything you want to do. But you know what,

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:34.119
<v Speaker 2>I find I have to find people to do it

0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:36.919
<v Speaker 2>with me. And it's like a whole new set of

0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:40.320
<v Speaker 2>friends sometimes because you got to find people who can

0:27:40.359 --> 0:27:43.600
<v Speaker 2>do those things with you. And I think retirement is

0:27:43.680 --> 0:27:46.240
<v Speaker 2>not I mean, in my parents' generation, our parents do

0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:49.600
<v Speaker 2>live length that we're living our grandparents right.

0:27:50.000 --> 0:27:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Right right, And everybody's different, like they're not healthy enough

0:27:54.560 --> 0:27:57.160
<v Speaker 1>to go enjoy things, like they can't do it because

0:27:57.200 --> 0:27:59.080
<v Speaker 1>their health has been altered somehow.

0:27:59.680 --> 0:28:02.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think my advice to Golden is not that

0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:05.479
<v Speaker 2>anyone's asking me today, but hey, what the hell? I

0:28:05.600 --> 0:28:11.320
<v Speaker 2>think Golden should spend more time concerned about their health

0:28:11.359 --> 0:28:14.399
<v Speaker 2>so that they can live active years. You know.

0:28:14.640 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 1>Can I say something else, Kathy, something that I didn't realize. Okay,

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:23.040
<v Speaker 1>some people live on Medicare and they take.

0:28:22.960 --> 0:28:25.879
<v Speaker 2>It no no, no, you mean social Security.

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Social Security and they take out for Medicare and they

0:28:28.200 --> 0:28:29.720
<v Speaker 1>take out for this, and then they own a home,

0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:32.959
<v Speaker 1>they have to pay taxes. There's nothing left for them.

0:28:33.400 --> 0:28:36.639
<v Speaker 1>And and I don't think people think about that. You

0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:37.920
<v Speaker 1>don't realize That's.

0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:40.280
<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying. I think, I think, I think you

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:44.880
<v Speaker 2>and I are doing a free advertisement for AIRP today sign.

0:28:45.160 --> 0:28:49.680
<v Speaker 2>But I do think that. I do think that retirement

0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:54.000
<v Speaker 2>looks very different today and that and I think that's

0:28:54.040 --> 0:28:56.680
<v Speaker 2>a good thing. But I will say I have had

0:28:56.720 --> 0:29:02.880
<v Speaker 2>some challenges finding people active, in to date, finding girlfriends

0:29:03.120 --> 0:29:07.200
<v Speaker 2>who can afford to travel or even want to travel.

0:29:08.320 --> 0:29:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Retirement looks very different in twenty twenty five than it did.

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:15.640
<v Speaker 1>Our kids and our grandkids that are learning. You know,

0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:18.320
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell them enough, put them away, put away

0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 1>for a ranger. Yeah, I'm telling you. I'm not telling

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:21.920
<v Speaker 1>you do you have it?

0:29:22.160 --> 0:29:24.480
<v Speaker 2>But do you tell your kids? Because I know we

0:29:24.520 --> 0:29:27.880
<v Speaker 2>have young grandchildren. I tell my kids all the time.

0:29:29.680 --> 0:29:31.920
<v Speaker 2>First of all, you know you and I travel a lot.

0:29:32.000 --> 0:29:34.240
<v Speaker 2>We're doing different things, and our kids are like, wait

0:29:34.320 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 2>a minute, we need you to babysit. Yeah, sorry, I

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:39.320
<v Speaker 2>won't be home. But I always say to my kids

0:29:40.040 --> 0:29:45.080
<v Speaker 2>how energetic we are. Do you think our kids appreciate

0:29:45.200 --> 0:29:47.760
<v Speaker 2>how much energy we have in our retirement.

0:29:47.960 --> 0:29:48.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I do.

0:29:48.600 --> 0:29:51.040
<v Speaker 1>My kids just worry about me spending their inheritance.

0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:56.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, that you know what that is Actually another question

0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:58.480
<v Speaker 2>for retirement. Do you do you think we should be

0:29:58.840 --> 0:30:03.000
<v Speaker 2>saving for to give money to our kids and should

0:30:03.040 --> 0:30:04.960
<v Speaker 2>we be spending every time in our retirement.

0:30:05.320 --> 0:30:08.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, nobody spends every dime. But yes, you're hoping something's

0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:10.440
<v Speaker 1>left for them. But I'm not going to go with

0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:14.760
<v Speaker 1>al because I want to leave more. You're not not selfish.

0:30:14.880 --> 0:30:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I worked all my life, you know, so you with

0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:22.480
<v Speaker 1>them though, I like to go with them on vacation,

0:30:22.640 --> 0:30:24.680
<v Speaker 1>Like I just came back from the Outer Banks with

0:30:24.720 --> 0:30:27.200
<v Speaker 1>my son Christopher's family and a bunch of other people.

0:30:27.360 --> 0:30:29.800
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I brought my own family to Canada. Yes,

0:30:30.520 --> 0:30:35.520
<v Speaker 2>I that, But in retirement again, it's very different. My

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:38.920
<v Speaker 2>retirement is very different from my parents when they retired.

0:30:40.320 --> 0:30:43.160
<v Speaker 2>But but that is another thing I want when you

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:46.960
<v Speaker 2>talk about dating and retirement, I know you you have Frederick,

0:30:47.040 --> 0:30:51.400
<v Speaker 2>but I still talk about in retirement. I want someone

0:30:51.440 --> 0:30:55.040
<v Speaker 2>who wants who were family is important. I love spending

0:30:55.040 --> 0:30:58.120
<v Speaker 2>time with my family in retirement. I think, to me,

0:30:58.160 --> 0:31:01.560
<v Speaker 2>it's almost a red flag if I go out on

0:31:01.600 --> 0:31:03.400
<v Speaker 2>a date with a guy and he's like my kids,

0:31:03.400 --> 0:31:05.960
<v Speaker 2>that's their problem, you know. I'm I'm here to have fun,

0:31:06.080 --> 0:31:07.800
<v Speaker 2>do you. I'm that's a red flat for me, because

0:31:08.880 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 2>retirement is about.

0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Having They wish I was around even more because.

0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:16.200
<v Speaker 2>My kids you too. I don't know. I just think that,

0:31:17.280 --> 0:31:20.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, people talk about being invisible once they retire,

0:31:20.280 --> 0:31:24.320
<v Speaker 2>once they hurt sixty, being invisible. I just think retirement

0:31:24.360 --> 0:31:30.160
<v Speaker 2>today looks very different. Words active, We travel, we do things,

0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:32.600
<v Speaker 2>and I love that. And I hope all the people

0:31:32.640 --> 0:31:35.840
<v Speaker 2>out there who are listening today who are retired, to

0:31:35.920 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 2>realize that the misconceptions that you know you're retired, you

0:31:40.320 --> 0:31:42.480
<v Speaker 2>crow up on a sofa and read a book and

0:31:42.520 --> 0:31:45.840
<v Speaker 2>go to sleep. I hope people realize that that is

0:31:45.920 --> 0:31:47.720
<v Speaker 2>not what retirement is anymore.

0:31:48.880 --> 0:31:52.640
<v Speaker 1>Still still being alive and enjoying your life and your families.

0:31:52.880 --> 0:31:56.240
<v Speaker 2>You know, get now in life. I mean I want

0:31:56.240 --> 0:31:58.720
<v Speaker 2>retirement for me. Well, first of all, I plan on

0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:01.280
<v Speaker 2>living another account and tell my kids at thirty.

0:32:00.960 --> 0:32:04.280
<v Speaker 1>More years, oh I'll be long gone. Cat, I'll save

0:32:04.320 --> 0:32:06.280
<v Speaker 1>you a spot. And that was fun.

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:09.280
<v Speaker 2>You're leaving me, Susan.

0:32:09.720 --> 0:32:13.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes, today for you, but everybody, let us know what

0:32:13.680 --> 0:32:16.560
<v Speaker 1>you thought about this conversation and where you're at in life.

0:32:16.840 --> 0:32:22.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, my retirement, you are retired, Some not those

0:32:22.800 --> 0:32:26.560
<v Speaker 1>of you that haven't looked into retirement savings.

0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 2>Get busy.

0:32:29.240 --> 0:32:32.840
<v Speaker 1>That is Susan's because thank you so much for joining

0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:33.440
<v Speaker 1>us today.

0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's really great. I think I think these topics

0:32:37.520 --> 0:32:39.800
<v Speaker 2>are all interesting and we hope that you know we

0:32:39.880 --> 0:32:42.480
<v Speaker 2>gave you something to chew on, something to think about today. Yes,

0:32:43.040 --> 0:32:46.400
<v Speaker 2>but in the meantime, be sure to follow us. That's

0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:50.000
<v Speaker 2>our happy Hour because we have new episodes coming out

0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 2>every week. You don't want to miss it this week

0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:56.320
<v Speaker 2>of retirement. Next week we're having a whole episode about dating.

0:32:56.000 --> 0:32:58.760
<v Speaker 1>Twenty year olds or I don't know, you never know.

0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:01.640
<v Speaker 2>What interests sex with twenty year olds.

0:33:01.640 --> 0:33:04.880
<v Speaker 1>Listen in and make sure to submit your questions to us.

0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:05.880
<v Speaker 2>And you know how to do that.

0:33:06.160 --> 0:33:09.480
<v Speaker 1>Just go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or

0:33:10.000 --> 0:33:12.480
<v Speaker 1>dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

0:33:13.200 --> 0:33:16.560
<v Speaker 2>Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio

0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.760
<v Speaker 2>app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,

0:33:19.840 --> 0:33:20.600
<v Speaker 2>have a great week.

0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:21.200
<v Speaker 1>Jaff