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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for joining us again. We're so excited to be back.

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Speaker 1: How are you, Kathy.

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Speaker 2: I am fabulous. I am sitting cooling my heroes on vacasion,

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Speaker 2: loving the cool weather. But today we are going to

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Speaker 2: be answering more of your fan questions. Make sure you're

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Speaker 2: submitting them. We love reading them. Just go to Bachelor

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Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.

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Speaker 1: Send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your opinions.

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Speaker 1: We want all of it. And you can also dm

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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so before we get into the episode, we're going

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Speaker 2: to start with the question of the day. But can

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Speaker 2: I just say to you my favorite part? But I

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Speaker 2: just want to say, you know, I'm on vacation, I'm

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Speaker 2: in Canada. Do you just love the cool weather even

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Speaker 2: in summer?

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Speaker 1: Yes, till September. It gets real cool at night and

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Speaker 1: then the mornings are chilly and then it's really nice

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Speaker 1: all day.

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Speaker 2: I mean, this is such a tree for me because

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Speaker 2: I'm wearing sweaters and long pants in Texas, Like I

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Speaker 2: won't get with like this till like November.

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Speaker 1: But so lucky because when I was in Canada last

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Speaker 1: year it was one hundred and five.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, stay away from Canada. You're ruining this country,

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Speaker 2: all right. And by the way, I'll bring you some

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Speaker 2: maple syrup because I know you like to kick it.

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Speaker 2: All right, Here we go a question of the day.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever seen someone ruin a friendship or a

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Speaker 2: relationship just by how they handled something? What do you think?

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Speaker 1: It's hard for me to remember, but yes, people do

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Speaker 1: stupid things.

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Speaker 2: I mean I have I haven't personally done this, but

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Speaker 2: I have seen people let their mouth run away with

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Speaker 2: them and they'll say something that really offends the other person.

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Speaker 2: And I'm watching this squad, really did you just say that? Right?

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Speaker 1: And they regretted after all, some regot it afterwards.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I think I think it's unfortunate though,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think sometimes, you know, your mouth gets

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Speaker 2: away with you.

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Speaker 1: You were you ever in a situation where two of

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Speaker 1: your friends and one of them was being a dick

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Speaker 1: to the other one, and you're trying not to pass judgment,

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Speaker 1: I open my big mouth. It's none of my business.

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Speaker 1: But I was in the same car and I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: don't talk to him like that.

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Speaker 2: Wait, and then did their friendship deteriorate?

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Speaker 1: No, they're married, But no, I've.

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Speaker 2: Had I mean, look at look at Teresa me. I

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Speaker 2: told her to zip it and how long did it take? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I mean, but how long did it take? Right? It's

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Speaker 2: I think people sometimes don't think. And again we're older,

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Speaker 2: so we think First's.

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Speaker 1: Something I learned in my golden years.

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Speaker 2: We think first before we speak, and so I will

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Speaker 2: say I've been guilty. This I have been guilty of.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's ever ruined or relationship, but I

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Speaker 2: have been guilty of saying something. My sister will often

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Speaker 2: say to me, Kathy, you are an English major. You're

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Speaker 2: a wordsmith. Beise with no no, no, no, not grammar. Be

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Speaker 2: precise with your words so that you mean what you say,

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Speaker 2: and you say what you mean. Sometimes I will say

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Speaker 2: something and it's like, well, I didn't mean it that way.

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Speaker 2: So I think sometimes people have to remember that what

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Speaker 2: you say, what comes out of your mouth is what.

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Speaker 1: People hear, hand in hand with the delivery. That's right

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Speaker 1: to soften things up. Even though you're saying something that's

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Speaker 1: not a positive thing, but the way you say it,

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Speaker 1: people can accept it a little easier sometimes, but if

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Speaker 1: you say it like harshly, it's an immediate defense.

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Speaker 2: You and I just talked about this. I met a

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Speaker 2: woman recently in Bachelor World who reminded me of me

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Speaker 2: and her delivery. I was like, wow, it was like

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Speaker 2: holding a mirror up and because I liked her a lot,

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Speaker 2: I liked her a lot, but I could see where

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Speaker 2: what she was saying was right. There was you know

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Speaker 2: so so, but I've never lost a friendship over it.

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Speaker 2: Then I'm aware of I've never lost a relationship today.

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Speaker 1: When I said earlier about the recap on Bachelor in Paradise,

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Speaker 1: how I related to Parisa, and I'm so glad that

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Speaker 1: I saw it because I used to be a lot

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Speaker 1: like that, Like pullback, Susan, don't give it all because

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Speaker 1: it could be a turn off. It's smothering.

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Speaker 2: Oh a minute, well, we don't have time to get

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Speaker 2: back into that today. But I thought you were saying

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Speaker 2: earlier that you thought it was great that Parisa complimented him.

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Speaker 1: I did because I used to do the same things,

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Speaker 1: smother them with good, good, good, good good. And then

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Speaker 1: you know so basically what that means is it's all

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Speaker 1: about to chase with men, and if you're too available?

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Speaker 2: So now whoa we just changed the question of the day.

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Speaker 2: We did. We're going to talk about this. You're telling

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Speaker 2: me if you're too available, the relationship isn't going to

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Speaker 2: work out.

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Speaker 1: A lot of times, like they enjoyed the chase, when

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Speaker 1: you're and I'm not good at it, when you're playing

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Speaker 1: a little hard to get if you will? You know

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Speaker 1: the books that says be busy when they call. What

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Speaker 1: do you mean I'm not busy? I want to go

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Speaker 1: out with them?

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Speaker 2: Would I do that? Susan's like, wait a minute, I

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Speaker 2: need ten minutes to put on my eyeliner. I'll be

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Speaker 2: right there.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever do that? Did you ever say you

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Speaker 1: were busy?

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Speaker 2: You think I play games?

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Speaker 1: I forgot she didn't they she got married and went

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Speaker 1: to Berlin. No, not Scotland, Scotland. Okay, with Susan, we

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Speaker 1: have a little test here. Berlin is in what country?

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Speaker 1: Berlin is Teresa, Scotland is Kathy. And we just had

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Speaker 1: a tiny little bit of a technical difficulty that I

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Speaker 1: had to take a picture of your face that was frozen.

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Speaker 3: Kathy was adorable. And with that being said, we're going

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Speaker 3: to give a questions. All right, we'll get into our

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Speaker 3: fan questions for today. I'm going to start us off

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Speaker 3: with the first one. You ready, ready, Hey, ladies, I think.

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Speaker 1: I messed up and I need some help. I was

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Speaker 1: at my boyfriend's company party this past Friday. It was

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Speaker 1: fun at first until I looked over and saw my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend chatting with one of his coworkers let's call her Mia.

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Speaker 1: To me, their conversation seemed super flirty, and it was

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Speaker 1: really pissing me off. He has a tendency to be

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Speaker 1: a social butterfly and bounce around the room while I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling awkward. I don't usually clam up in social situations,

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Speaker 1: but being around your partner's coworkers that you don't know

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Speaker 1: is really intimidating. When I went over to grab him,

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Speaker 1: he said, one sec I'm telling Mia about X, Y

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Speaker 1: and Z. I was really annoyed and in the moment

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Speaker 1: felt like he was picking her over me all and

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Speaker 1: my jealousy got the best of me. So I started

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Speaker 1: passively flirting with his boss. Nothing inappropriate, just being a

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Speaker 1: little flirty and friendly. Well, apparently, one of my boyfriend's

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Speaker 1: work friends noticed and asked him if I was cool.

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Speaker 1: With that, he politely asked if we could head home

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Speaker 1: because he was tired. I thought nothing of it, so

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Speaker 1: I said sure and we said our goodbyes. The car

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Speaker 1: ride home was completely silent. He told me he needed

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Speaker 1: some space and was really hurt and embarrassed. How do

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Speaker 1: I fix this? Was I really in the wrong for

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Speaker 1: what I did? I'm really confused right now? Thanks, ladies?

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Speaker 2: Can I go first? Helly, Yeah, you were really wrong.

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Speaker 2: You don't never flirt with the boss. I don't care

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Speaker 2: if it's your boss, your boyfriend's boss, your sister's boss,

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Speaker 2: your grandmother's boss. You do not work with the.

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Speaker 1: Boss a jealousy will do?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Come on? First time?

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Speaker 1: I couldn't she, Kathy? Why couldn't she? When he said,

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Speaker 1: wait just one second, I'm telling her about X, Y

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Speaker 1: and Z, chime right in and be a part of it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Yes, wait to hear this part like

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Speaker 1: and be a part of that conversation instead of feeling insecure.

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Speaker 2: Well, so let me just tell you, you and I

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Speaker 2: Shocker are both outgoing. We can walk into it's one

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Speaker 2: of my strongest suits, and I know it's one of yours.

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Speaker 2: We can walk into a cocktail party with no one

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Speaker 2: we know and leave with one hundred best friends because

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Speaker 2: you and I can enter. We have that capo. My

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Speaker 2: husband was the guy who would stand around while I

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Speaker 2: was talking and then get angry with me that I

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Speaker 2: didn't stand by his side because he was not outgoing.

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Speaker 1: But so, did you ever feel like he left you

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Speaker 1: to talk to somebody?

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Speaker 2: I would know, but he felt that I left him

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Speaker 2: to talk to people, and he would get very angry.

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Speaker 2: Now it wasn't flirting. I was just having conversations. Here's

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Speaker 2: where you went wrong, Anonymous. Your boyfriend your Susan's right,

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Speaker 2: Your jealousy got in the way. Your boyfriend is your boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: If you don't have the faith and the trust in

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Speaker 2: your relationship, and you see a red flag because he's

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Speaker 2: chit chatting with a workmate who happens to.

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Speaker 1: Be sounds like that's his personality.

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Speaker 2: Like she said, I'm saying, if that is your worry

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Speaker 2: that you cannot trust your boyfriend because he's chatting with

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Speaker 2: a girl a workmate, you have bigger issues in your relationship.

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Speaker 2: That's what I think you need to get at the

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Speaker 2: heart of why you don't trust your boyfriend. That's what

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Speaker 2: I would say.

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Speaker 1: What do you think the only way out of it,

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Speaker 1: and it's not even out of it, is tell the truth.

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Speaker 1: Just say I was a little jealous. I saw you.

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Speaker 1: To me, it looked like you were flirting with me,

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Speaker 1: and I felt uncomfortable. So I decided to do this.

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Speaker 2: So I decided to flirt with your boss. Well, I

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Speaker 2: got to tell you his name. The roles were reversed.

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Speaker 2: I'd have to rethink that relationship. I hate to sound harsh,

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Speaker 2: but if I were digging a guy and he started

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Speaker 2: flirting with my boss, I don't want that, would you?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: I understood where she was coming from about he leaves

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Speaker 1: her at his work party. But of course you're going

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Speaker 1: to his people.

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Speaker 2: So chat. Go find some of the chat with don't

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Speaker 2: hit on his boss. You got a room full of people, friend.

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Speaker 1: She did, though she said, you don't care, I don't care.

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Speaker 2: The point here is she thought it was flirting.

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Speaker 1: Beg forgiveness. But now I can't let go of the

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Speaker 1: fact that how it was making her feel that he

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Speaker 1: didn't have the decency to include her in a conversation

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Speaker 1: with Mia.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: She's standing there by herself. She don't know these people,

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Speaker 1: and we talked.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry you and I shocker are going to disagree.

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Speaker 2: Yet again, you are not talking about a ten year old.

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Speaker 2: We are talking about adults who are in adult relationships.

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Speaker 2: If your boyfriend is talking with someone else, be it

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Speaker 2: male or female, you know what you do. Strike up

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Speaker 2: a conversation with the guy or gown next to you,

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Speaker 2: find something to talk about the cumulus clouds overhead, find

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Speaker 2: something to be He has not gab like you, though, Well,

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Speaker 2: she had the gift to gab with his boss.

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Speaker 1: I think she should have stayed in the conversation with

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Speaker 1: the X, Y and Z with Mia. That's what my

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Speaker 1: butt would be if I thought he was flirting with her.

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Speaker 2: Be right, So great answer. Hang out with Mia and

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend in chit chat, or talk to the male

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Speaker 2: or female next to you about what color socks the

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Speaker 2: waiter has on there with the boss. Do not, ever,

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Speaker 2: it is an axiom of life. Never forgot the thing

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Speaker 2: to do. So I'm sorry that your boyfriends need space.

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Speaker 2: I don't blame her. Do I sound harsh? My delivery harsh?

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Speaker 2: Isn't if I felt? Yes?

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Speaker 1: But she was wrong for doing that with the boss.

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Speaker 1: I get it, because he didn't even notice. Somebody had

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Speaker 1: to tell him. That's the best part. Maybe he isn't

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Speaker 1: the one for you. Oh, she said, share with him.

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Speaker 1: Do you share with him that you felt uncomfortable that

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Speaker 1: he was flirting. It seemed like he was flirting. That

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Speaker 1: didn't give you the right to do what you did.

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Speaker 1: You admit fault. However, if you feel that way, then

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Speaker 1: go be a part of it. And you still feel

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Speaker 1: uncomfort rippled and freaking leave.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just saying, in the future, do anything, Anonymous,

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Speaker 2: anything but go hang up the lady's room. Do anything,

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Speaker 2: pick dust off the carpet, you know, ask him there's

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Speaker 2: a vacuum cleaner because you want to vacuum the drapes.

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Speaker 2: Do anything, but do not flirt with your boyfriend's boss.

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Speaker 2: All Right, We're moving on now that I've tortured her,

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Speaker 2: and I'm really sorry, and I hope, I hope you

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Speaker 2: guys get back together, Anonymous, but I really would encourage

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Speaker 2: you to look in the mirror and evaluate why you

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Speaker 2: don't trust your boyfriend, because that's really what is a

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Speaker 2: part of this. It's really not funny, Kathy. It brings

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Speaker 2: to mind Frederick is very friendly, and we're all French people.

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Speaker 2: Nobody speak in my language, and he writes everybody and

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Speaker 2: everybody loves them and write a little weird a couple

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Speaker 2: of times. Not that I thought he was flirting, but

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Speaker 2: just like, hey, I'm over here, and I did I

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Speaker 2: tried to strike up a conversation and can't speak the language.

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Speaker 1: So what do you do then?

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Speaker 2: I mean, listen, when in doubt, go to the bar

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Speaker 2: and get a drink, or your case, go to one

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Speaker 2: of the boutiques and go buy yourself something. Let's move

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Speaker 2: on along, moving wrong on the next one. Hi, Kathy

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Speaker 2: and Susan. I need to know if I'm the bad

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Speaker 2: guy here the other day. What can I just say

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Speaker 2: before we get to this question When people write in

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Speaker 2: and say, I need to know if I'm in the wrong,

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Speaker 2: I need to know if I'm the bad guy. I

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Speaker 2: need to know if I made a mistake. The rule

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Speaker 2: of thumb is if you think you did, you probably did.

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Speaker 2: Let's just say you know. Let's just cut it there, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I need to know if I'm the bad guy here

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Speaker 2: the other day? I poked fun there you go at

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Speaker 2: my friend Lilah in our group Chap She's always sending

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Speaker 2: us updates about her really shitty first dates, usually live texting,

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Speaker 2: and all in good fun. So yesterday, when she said, ugh,

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Speaker 2: another one bites the dust, I replied, Sis, I'm starting

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Speaker 2: to think it's you crying emoji. Everyone in the group

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Speaker 2: chap laughed, reacted to it, and we all quickly followed

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Speaker 2: up with questions and jokes as usual. Well, she didn't

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Speaker 2: respond after I sent that and left the group chat

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Speaker 2: at the end of the night. When I texted her

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Speaker 2: after she left the chat to see if she was

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Speaker 2: upset with me, she didn't answer. It's been almost two

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Speaker 2: days and I still haven't heard from her. What should

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Speaker 2: I do? My friends are all staying out of bit

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Speaker 2: but reassured me that it wasn't a big deal and

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Speaker 2: to just give her time to cool off. I'm honestly

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Speaker 2: really annoyed with her. Am I justified in feeling that way?

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Speaker 1: Thanks, ladies, Yes, you are justified, because if she does

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Speaker 1: this repeatedly and you're joking and saying maybe it's you,

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Speaker 1: maybe there's nothing wrong with that. That was funny. Kathy's

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Speaker 1: face is telling me different.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like kind of stunned that you said that.

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Speaker 2: I think what if it had been me. I you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't like texting because there's no emotion in texting.

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Speaker 2: You can't read the emojis, right, you don't. That's the

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Speaker 2: problem texting. But had I done that and said something

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Speaker 2: like maybe it's you, maybe she feels like there is

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Speaker 2: something wrong with her. So what I would have done

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Speaker 2: later is I would have texted Lyla said hey girlfriend

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Speaker 2: or him, you know, hey, friend, I was kidding. I

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Speaker 2: didn't mean it. I hope you didn't take a sense

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Speaker 2: at it. No, no, no, he said that. She left

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Speaker 2: the group chat and yels she texted her, and she

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Speaker 2: left the chat to see if she was upset. She

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Speaker 2: didn't answer, it's been two days. She left the chat

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Speaker 2: to see she texted.

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Speaker 1: Her in the group.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I wouldn't have texted to see if she

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Speaker 2: was upset. I would have said, hey, I'm really sorry.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's you. I don't you know. I

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Speaker 2: didn't mean to offend you.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I was just teasing.

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Speaker 2: I was teasing, and I'm sorry. I understand you probably

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Speaker 2: didn't find it funny.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't think it was funny. I was

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Speaker 1: just busting them a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm sorry and I won't do it again.

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Speaker 2: But the fact that a girl not to join back

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Speaker 2: in the text for two days over that, well, maybe

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Speaker 2: that's why the dates are bad. I'm saying, maybe she

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Speaker 2: feels badly, Maybe she feels like there is something wrong

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Speaker 2: with her and that's why things started her feeling Another

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Speaker 2: one bit that maybe she's feeling but it sounds like

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Speaker 2: she can put it out there.

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Speaker 1: Another one bites it does. Oh, but she can't take it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's the case, Susan. Maybe she can't take it. Oh,

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Speaker 2: look at you really take it? Can't take it on

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Speaker 2: crying in a corner. What are you going to do?

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Speaker 1: What happened?

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Speaker 2: I said? Now I can't take it. I'm crying in

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Speaker 2: a corner. You're going to say, see a land.

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Speaker 1: When you buy your hair and say, snap the freak

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Speaker 1: out of it. Cat, let's go.

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Speaker 2: I'll get you a pizza and I will drink the

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Speaker 2: tequila and Susan will have two slices of pizza. I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I don't think this person has the whoever

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Speaker 2: it is, I don't think. I don't think this person

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Speaker 2: els the right to be annoyed.

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Speaker 1: I think she's asking us, Am I in the wrong?

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Speaker 1: Is that how she started this one?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I think you're in the wrong. Not for what

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Speaker 2: you did. I think you're in the wrong for not

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Speaker 2: reaching back out and again, and let's talk about it.

339
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: Let's talk about your friendship has valued to me. I

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00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: care about you, I love you. Let's not let this

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Speaker 2: come between us. Come on, let's talk then, Anonymous, I

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00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 2: would say, if you make an honest effort to talk

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Speaker 2: with her, get it out in the open, what's really

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00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,120
Speaker 2: bothered her and she still doesn't talk to you, then

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00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: that's her problem, not yours. But right now, I think

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Speaker 2: you owe it. Do you agree to it.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, and I don't

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Speaker 1: think she was intending to hurt her feelings because this

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Speaker 1: is no. I don't even there every time and she

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Speaker 1: just everybody laughs.

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Speaker 2: But some people are sensitive, Susan, especially if she's always getting.

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Speaker 1: Consensitive when she goes another one bites the dust. That's

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Speaker 1: not being real sensitive.

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Speaker 2: No, that she said about herself. I know, I know,

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Speaker 2: but maybe she's sensitive that guys break up with her.

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Speaker 2: Who knows.

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Speaker 1: No, she's saying the date sucks. She said she can't.

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Speaker 1: Always sends updates about her really shitty first dates, usually

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Speaker 1: live texting, and all in good fun. So yesterday she says,

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Speaker 1: another one bites the dust. Yes, but Susan, your way,

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Speaker 1: you crying emoji?

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Speaker 2: That's funny. It is funny. But here's the thing. If

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Speaker 2: you know, you and I make jokes all the time,

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Speaker 2: but sometimes people make jokes when they're really hurting inside.

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Speaker 2: And maybe she's hurting. So I'm just saying, maybe she's

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Speaker 2: hurting that none of these dates ever go well. And

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Speaker 2: if it were me, I would be thinking what's wrong

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Speaker 2: with me? So for someone to voice that, I could

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Speaker 2: see what she would feel bad. So I would try

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Speaker 2: it again. Long and short of this is before we

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Speaker 2: move on, I would try again to reach out to her, apologize,

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00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 2: make sure she understands how she is valuable to you,

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Speaker 2: you value your friendship with her, and try to make amend.

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Speaker 2: And like Susan said, if she's still then that's her problem.

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Speaker 2: You got to move on and let her cool off.

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00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: All right, are you ready? But you are going to

377
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 2: do a Golden spotlight suasan where we talk about something

378
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 2: that impacts the Golden community. Okay, today we're talking about

379
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 2: my favorite topic, retirement. Okay, so I want the things

380
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 2: I want to talk about. I'm interested in other people's opinion.

381
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,880
Speaker 2: You know, I am retired, you're not really retired yet.

382
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Speaker 2: But I don't want to day a guy who's not retired,

383
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Speaker 2: because then he can't travel. He's limited to two or

384
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Speaker 2: three weeks. Here. Look what Joan and Chalk are going through.

385
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 2: She's retired. I mean, she's doing stuff the Bachelor, but

386
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Speaker 2: she doesn't have a full time job. Chalk does not choice,

387
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Speaker 2: though I don't care. It's by choice. He's not retired,

388
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 2: she is. I am retired. I don't want a data

389
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 2: guy who's not retired. How do you feel about that?

390
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 2: That is a big issue.

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Speaker 1: I think a guy that's not retired and I have

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Speaker 1: more free time than he, I mean than Yeah.

393
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Speaker 2: But you're not really retired either, so you guys balance

394
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Speaker 2: the balance though.

395
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: I guess so now that would suck because you have

396
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Speaker 1: to wait for him to be able to.

397
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Speaker 2: And for me, when I retired, I did have a

398
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Speaker 2: bit of an adjustment. You know, I didn't have the

399
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,639
Speaker 2: rigid structure of the schedule anymore. I could kind of

400
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 2: do what I want when I want, and so when

401
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 2: guys have asked me out. I've had some guys in

402
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 2: their fifties and early sixties asked me out. I don't

403
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 2: really want to do it. Remember that guy we met

404
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: in California at the hotel. The guy was fifty eight. Yes,

405
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: and he was really interested in me. And I said, yeah,

406
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 2: but you work full time. He goes, we can make

407
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: it work. He by coastal and he works full time.

408
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you think.

409
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Speaker 1: I think just adjusting to retirement. Like I over the

410
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 1: years had many many clients that one was retiring but

411
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: the other one wasn't. And that adjustment. You know that

412
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: he's home all the time and she's like, oh my gosh,

413
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: you know he needs a hobby or whatever. It is

414
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: an adjustment. And if you don't plan on what activities

415
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: or what you want to do, Yeah, you just got

416
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: to think about it as it comes. Yeah, I do

417
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: prepare for that.

418
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 2: You have to. It's like dating again almost. It's like

419
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 2: res kindling her friendship, a relationships.

420
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Speaker 1: Definitely give him more chores since he was the one

421
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Speaker 1: at home and I'm still worship.

422
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 2: With Susan hamming down here with a mop and sponge

423
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 2: on the kitchen.

424
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Speaker 1: Clean the bathroom.

425
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's though, there are those things, the adjustment

426
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 2: of time, like everyone has more time when you're retired dating.

427
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 2: You know, I just said I want to date someone

428
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 2: who's retired. What about I hit the elephant in the room,

429
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 2: the nancys when you're.

430
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 1: Retired and you didn't prepare well.

431
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: Some people don't prepare well. But again it's you have

432
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 2: the time and you want to balance the resources. Like

433
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 2: do you think goldens, I don't know. Do you think

434
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: goldens spend enough time thinking about what retirement's going to be,

435
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: like can to finance what they want to do?

436
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: Well? Goldens are in that you think younger people. I

437
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: think younger people should focus more on what it's going

438
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 1: to be to retire and start saving. Now I did

439
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: it backwards and right, gret it because I always thought, oh,

440
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: he's making a ton of money. I don't have to worry, right,

441
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 1: I thought we were going to get a divorce, you

442
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: know what I mean?

443
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 2: Right? But but I mean I'm not saying my question right.

444
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: Let's try this again. When when goldens when we're retired,

445
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 2: Now we're golden, whether you're sixty, whatever it is, we're retired.

446
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: I think that goldens. I've dated some guys who are like, hey,

447
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: I'm retired, I can do anything I want. Come to

448
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 2: find out they can't because we're living longer. And I

449
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 2: don't think goldens think enough about once they're retired.

450
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: Do you mean financially like they did.

451
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 2: I think that's one of the things that I've known, this.

452
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: Golden somebody from traveling like crazy or spending money. They

453
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: have to be on a budget because they know what's

454
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: left and how they have to live.

455
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 2: But I'm saying I have met a lot of goldens

456
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 2: who don't get any thought. It's not I'm not talking

457
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: about what I agree with what you're saying. Young people

458
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: need to think back, you know, think hey, I'm going

459
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: to be retired someday. I'm talking about the people I've

460
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 2: met who are retired, who are spending like it's Christmas

461
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 2: every day and they're like, yeah, I'll worry about that later.

462
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think they've figured out that we're

463
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 2: living longer, we're healthier. I find that amazing. You haven't

464
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 2: come across.

465
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: One of the things that I've always said to people,

466
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: everybody back back when this is our parents and our grandparents,

467
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: and they would not they would do with that, They

468
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't go on trips because they were saving it to

469
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: their golden years. I totally disagree with that. I think,

470
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 1: go while you're healthy and young, and you work for it,

471
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 1: and you go and take your holiday, and then you

472
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 1: pay for it and you save up for the next

473
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: time when it's finally retirement. A lot of times Kathy

474
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: who needs a knee replacement, who I know, my dad,

475
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 1: bless him. He retired. A week later, he got a

476
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: knee replacement, and six weeks later he passed, so he

477
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: never got to enjoy his retirement. So it just happens.

478
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. Retirement looks so different today.

479
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: People who are retired still want to Some people who

480
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 2: are retired want to volunteer full time because they want

481
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: things to do. I will be honest with you. Most

482
00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 2: of my friends, in fact, I would say ninety five

483
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: percent of my friends are not retired. They're between age

484
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 2: forty and sixty.

485
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: And that's frustrating for us because we want to go

486
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: do things and they can't because they're still working or rightet.

487
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 2: But and so I find that I find having as

488
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 2: much energy as I have as much time as I

489
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 2: have and the desire to do things. I think sometimes

490
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: people think retirement is going to be this opportunity to

491
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: do everything you want to do. But you know what,

492
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: I find I have to find people to do it

493
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 2: with me. And it's like a whole new set of

494
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: friends sometimes because you got to find people who can

495
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 2: do those things with you. And I think retirement is

496
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 2: not I mean, in my parents' generation, our parents do

497
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 2: live length that we're living our grandparents right.

498
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: Right right, And everybody's different, like they're not healthy enough

499
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: to go enjoy things, like they can't do it because

500
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: their health has been altered somehow.

501
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think my advice to Golden is not that

502
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,479
Speaker 2: anyone's asking me today, but hey, what the hell? I

503
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 2: think Golden should spend more time concerned about their health

504
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 2: so that they can live active years. You know.

505
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: Can I say something else, Kathy, something that I didn't realize. Okay,

506
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: some people live on Medicare and they take.

507
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 2: It no no, no, you mean social Security.

508
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: Social Security and they take out for Medicare and they

509
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: take out for this, and then they own a home,

510
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,959
Speaker 1: they have to pay taxes. There's nothing left for them.

511
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: And and I don't think people think about that. You

512
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 1: don't realize That's.

513
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: What I'm saying. I think, I think, I think you

514
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: and I are doing a free advertisement for AIRP today sign.

515
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 2: But I do think that. I do think that retirement

516
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 2: looks very different today and that and I think that's

517
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 2: a good thing. But I will say I have had

518
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 2: some challenges finding people active, in to date, finding girlfriends

519
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: who can afford to travel or even want to travel.

520
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 2: Retirement looks very different in twenty twenty five than it did.

521
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 1: Our kids and our grandkids that are learning. You know,

522
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: I can't tell them enough, put them away, put away

523
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: for a ranger. Yeah, I'm telling you. I'm not telling

524
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: you do you have it?

525
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: But do you tell your kids? Because I know we

526
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: have young grandchildren. I tell my kids all the time.

527
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: First of all, you know you and I travel a lot.

528
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 2: We're doing different things, and our kids are like, wait

529
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: a minute, we need you to babysit. Yeah, sorry, I

530
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 2: won't be home. But I always say to my kids

531
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: how energetic we are. Do you think our kids appreciate

532
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: how much energy we have in our retirement.

533
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: Yeah?

534
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: I do.

535
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: My kids just worry about me spending their inheritance.

536
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: Well, that you know what that is Actually another question

537
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 2: for retirement. Do you do you think we should be

538
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: saving for to give money to our kids and should

539
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 2: we be spending every time in our retirement.

540
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: Well, nobody spends every dime. But yes, you're hoping something's

541
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: left for them. But I'm not going to go with

542
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: al because I want to leave more. You're not not selfish.

543
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: I worked all my life, you know, so you with

544
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: them though, I like to go with them on vacation,

545
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: Like I just came back from the Outer Banks with

546
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: my son Christopher's family and a bunch of other people.

547
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: So yeah, I brought my own family to Canada. Yes,

548
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 2: I that, But in retirement again, it's very different. My

549
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: retirement is very different from my parents when they retired.

550
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: But but that is another thing I want when you

551
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 2: talk about dating and retirement, I know you you have Frederick,

552
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: but I still talk about in retirement. I want someone

553
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: who wants who were family is important. I love spending

554
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: time with my family in retirement. I think, to me,

555
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 2: it's almost a red flag if I go out on

556
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: a date with a guy and he's like my kids,

557
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 2: that's their problem, you know. I'm I'm here to have fun,

558
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 2: do you. I'm that's a red flat for me, because

559
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: retirement is about.

560
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: Having They wish I was around even more because.

561
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: My kids you too. I don't know. I just think that,

562
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: you know, people talk about being invisible once they retire,

563
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: once they hurt sixty, being invisible. I just think retirement

564
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 2: today looks very different. Words active, We travel, we do things,

565
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: and I love that. And I hope all the people

566
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 2: out there who are listening today who are retired, to

567
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: realize that the misconceptions that you know you're retired, you

568
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 2: crow up on a sofa and read a book and

569
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: go to sleep. I hope people realize that that is

570
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 2: not what retirement is anymore.

571
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: Still still being alive and enjoying your life and your families.

572
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 2: You know, get now in life. I mean I want

573
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 2: retirement for me. Well, first of all, I plan on

574
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: living another account and tell my kids at thirty.

575
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: More years, oh I'll be long gone. Cat, I'll save

576
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: you a spot. And that was fun.

577
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 2: You're leaving me, Susan.

578
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: Yes, today for you, but everybody, let us know what

579
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: you thought about this conversation and where you're at in life.

580
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 1: You know, my retirement, you are retired, Some not those

581
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: of you that haven't looked into retirement savings.

582
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 2: Get busy.

583
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: That is Susan's because thank you so much for joining

584
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: us today.

585
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really great. I think I think these topics

586
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: are all interesting and we hope that you know we

587
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 2: gave you something to chew on, something to think about today. Yes,

588
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 2: but in the meantime, be sure to follow us. That's

589
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 2: our happy Hour because we have new episodes coming out

590
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: every week. You don't want to miss it this week

591
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 2: of retirement. Next week we're having a whole episode about dating.

592
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: Twenty year olds or I don't know, you never know.

593
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: What interests sex with twenty year olds.

594
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: Listen in and make sure to submit your questions to us.

595
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: And you know how to do that.

596
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: Just go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or

597
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

598
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio

599
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 2: app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,

600
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: have a great week.

601
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: Jaff