WEBVTT - Deeply Well with Devi Brown: Adapt and Adjust with Lalah Delia 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:31.440 Take a deep breath in through your nose. 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:34.240 Hold it. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:01:01.960 Now, release slowly again deep in helle hold release, repeating 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:09.039 internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:19.360 am deeply, deeply well. I I am deeply, deeply well. 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:32.880 I am deeply wow. I'm Debbie Brown and this is 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:47.240 the Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:50.160 place to land on your journey. I'm Debbie Brown and 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:53.960 this is a podcast for those that are curious, creative, 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:58.520 and ready to expand on your journey of higher consciousness 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:02.200 and self care. This is where we heal, this is 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:07.000 where we become. Welcome to the show. My intention for 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:11.960 this episode is to really dive into what it is 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:16.040 to live with self mastery. I'm a big believer that 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:21.480 being on this journey, there is always, always, always deeper 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.800 to go, and that tends to be where once we 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:29.240 surrender to it, some of the fun and the creativity 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.320 can really come to life in the way that we 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:35.440 choose to experience what it is being alive and experience 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:41.640 our spiritual curriculum. Today's shoe I have a master I 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:46.960 have an incredible, incredible guest joining us today. Leyla Delia 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:51.320 is a best selling author, an educator, and a spiritual writer. 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.880 She's a certified spiritual practitioner and the founder of Vibrate 0:02:56.080 --> 0:03:00.639 Higher Daily School. She is leading seekers to self empowerment 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:04.639 and a life of more grace and high vibrations. Her 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:10.600 best selling book, Vibrate Higher Daily, Live Your Power, spiritual writings, teaching, speaking, 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:14.160 and social media presence are guiding seekers all around the 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:18.200 globe on a journey back home to their empowered, higher 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:23.160 potential whole selves. Through her lyrical and organic writing, teaching 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:27.720 style and experiences, Layla en Liven spiritual seekers looking to 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:33.560 live with more intuition, empowerment, higher purpose and vibrations, confidence, grace, 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:39.720 and subconscious mind repro gramming. Her work is a response 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.320 to her journey and to the current vibrational state of 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:46.200 the world that we live in, navigate and journey through together, 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.360 my sister, Welcome to the show, Leila. 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:54.480 Thank you, sweet sister Devi for having me. I am 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.240 so excited about this conversation, as I am all of ours. 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.240 But this is in front of we be talking. Are 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.400 we talking? Yes? 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:07.800 Oh my god, I so I so love that about us. 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:11.960 Like you know, some people, it's just you were kind 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.720 of like born to talk. 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.680 To each other. I love that as perfect that is. 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.760 That's it. Yeah, born to talk to each other. Yeah. 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.479 I'll look up sometimes like we'll be we'll be like 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.520 chewing on some thoughts together, and I'll look up and 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.560 I'm like, oh, it's been three hours. We've been on 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:29.440 the phone for three. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.560 Out easily and just flowing the entire time. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:37.120 Oh yeah, Leila, I've been I've been really looking forward 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.239 to this conversation for so many reasons, but especially because 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.279 you know, when I thought of this newest season of 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:47.640 the podcast, those who been rocking with this show for 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:50.360 the last three and a half four years that I've 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:55.400 been doing it, everyone has been going so deep, at 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.599 least from the responses I've been getting from those of 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.920 you that that share, which I'm so grateful for those 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:05.080 shares and the expansive feedback that you give for each episode. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.560 But I think we've reached a point for those that 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:12.000 really connected to the journey seriously to find new ways, 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:16.200 new tools, new techniques to go even deeper. And one 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:18.600 of the things that especially you and I always talk 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:23.719 about is surrendering to the understanding that even the things 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:27.320 that you have mastered, there's deeper to go, there's new 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.960 facets to see it through. 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:29.760 Yeah. 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:31.800 So I think before we dive into all of that, 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.520 I would love to start with saying, how is your 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:38.640 spirit right now? What are you currently savoring in your life? 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:44.960 Oh? I'm savoring slowing down, slow living and just being 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:47.880 able to be in the process of the shift happening. 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.760 And I'm going through an intense shift and I'm so 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:58.200 present with it. I'm mothering myself through it. I'm my 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:02.320 healer through it, I'm my nurse through it, my midwife 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:04.640 through it, and I'm just being so hands on with 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:09.120 myself at this moment, through this shift, and that process 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:13.200 has made it such a completely such a completely different shift. 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:15.839 So where it feels like, oh, my team is with me. 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.280 You know when I say my team, my support team 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.119 first off is me like all hands are on deck. 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:26.400 And so it feels so grounding and good going through 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.000 this shift. And I have you of course, you know, 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:33.480 just having beautiful sisters to you know, to bounce thoughts 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.800 and experience off of. It's really beautiful. So I'm savoring 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.919 being able to slow down and journey and grace. 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:46.440 Yeah. Yeah, something that that you shared with your community 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.839 and you've talked about in your book is just you know, 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:52.840 really being on this path for quite a while. You know, 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.840 you came into your awakening, you came into your understanding 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.480 that there was more, that there were more expansive ways 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.600 of being alive, and you chose a path of service 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.599 very early on. So a lot of you know, I 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:08.480 think shifting is something that you probably have a lot 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:09.560 of muscle memory in. 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:10.120 Right. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.520 It's like your a neat way of being is to 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:17.640 kind of surrender to the feeling of that intuition guiding 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:22.240 you towards something new, different, more when you are like 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:27.800 in a moment like this, how do you know it's 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:32.640 time to shift? How are you made aware that okay, 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:37.000 there we grow again, you know, like this, let's lean 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:37.520 into it. 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:41.680 Yeah, for me and almost I would probably say the 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:47.080 person watching this right now, most of us. When your 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:50.200 life feels the most wonky, when your life feels the 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:54.080 most vulnerable, and when it feels like everything is like 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.560 not working out, falling apart, that's exactly what's supposed to 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:01.560 be happening. Because you're expanding, and so that that shell 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.560 that you've been in, that container that has held you 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.720 purposely has to expand out. It has to dissolve, it 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.480 has to burst open. And so just going through the 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:14.240 gravity of that, that's when I know every time and 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:17.480 I'm like, oh, okay, or if it hasn't happened a while, 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.000 I can almost track it and clock it. Now, I'm like, oh, 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:23.880 clock like clockwork. It's about time and another feeling. If 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.880 you don't have that, it's like you have this immense 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:30.880 amount of what can appear to be boredom where everything 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:34.439 just seems to be like crickets, you know, just it's 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:38.640 really like, Okay, I'm here, I'm existing. What's happening is 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:42.040 that restlessness that kind of starts to creep in? It does, 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:45.240 and I'm like, oh, you know. And so that those 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.880 two ways are how I know, yeah, yeah, and what 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:53.120 does that process look like? And I want to get like, okay, 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:56.520 let me start here. I remember like years ago I 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:59.200 had gone probably ten years ago, I had gone to 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.360 this event and Maryann Williamson was speaking, and at the 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:07.680 time she said something that felt incredibly revolutionary to me. 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:11.240 She was talking about how she approached feelings of depression, 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:16.800 and she was saying that she recognized that it's just 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.560 kind of you know, the warning signal that's letting you 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.720 know that it's time to work on self, it's time 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.240 to hermit, it's time to process. It doesn't have to 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:31.280 always have some of the gravity to it that it's 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:35.600 presented with always. And I remember she said that she 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:39.240 would kind of like build herself a little cave almost 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.240 like when she felt those feelings creep in, she'd say, Okay, 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.840 let me stalk my fridge, let me get you know, 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:48.720 let me clean everything. Let me get the things you 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:52.360 know that bring me comfort nearby. And it just I 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:57.280 remember the time that I heard that. That was incredibly 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.839 powerful for me, and I began to approach every time 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.240 I have an experience like you're talking about like that, 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:03.839 and I say, all right, well, I'm a book, a 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.040 spa appointment, have that on calendar ready to go. 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:07.760 I'm going to have you know, I'm going to have 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:10.000 the tools that I need nearby. I'm going to have 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.640 you know, the oils, I'm going to have you know, 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:16.000 the tinctures, all the things that I know my nervous 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.280 system craves when it's under duress. And then I'm going 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.160 to find things to kind of pack in my creativity. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.880 If I'm not really feeling inspired, let me leave some 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:29.120 paper around with some colored pencils some you know, I 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.400 like making collages. So let me like get a little 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:36.040 stack of mags and some scissors. So for your process, 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.360 what does that look like for you? And what are 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.640 some ways that those listening can say, Oh, that's what 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:46.320 that feeling is inside? Okay, how do I maximize this? Yeah? 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:50.760 I get very very present, and when I say present, 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.400 like all throughout the day, like I'm on, I'm and 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.640 what I'm going through it because I understand my body 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:59.320 is so sensitive and most of us are highly sensitive. 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:01.760 Some times we don't realize it because we're tuning it 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.520 out with other distractions in our life, which is another 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:07.600 important conversation you know, of like the things that are 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:12.520 taking away that sensitivity. That's so necessary, right, and so 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.720 it's okay to feel, and so I allow myself to 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:18.240 feel whatever is coming through, so I can know that 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:20.520 a shift is happening. And it's just like a navigator, 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.640 like being able to feel, you know, just the you know, 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.280 the waves you know, you know, look at them and 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.040 understand the weather that's coming in and being able to forecast. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:30.960 I need to do this, do that, like you say, 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.440 So for me, I have to always turn to rest 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.000 and I have to turn to body work. Massage is 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:43.760 like yeah, like I just had the best chiatsu massage. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.280 This person was like rolling my body in ways I 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:50.080 didn't even know it was possible, and it was like 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:54.840 completely different right exactly. And I was like, resurrect me 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.880 through this change I'm going through. And I because what 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.080 can happen. What can happen is that it can feel 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.520 like a midlife crisis or even a thing now called 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.560 quarter life crisis, and it could feel like that, but 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.880 then when you realize, oh, this is just another shifty 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:13.600 you know, this is just another awakened or ascension, like 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:16.600 whatever your language is for, it's it's something and we 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:20.920 can't deny that these things happen, almost like milestones in 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.080 our lives. And so just allowing myself to say, I 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:26.600 know I'm headed for this milestone. What can I do 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:31.480 to prepare? And another thing is having my toolbag flower essences. 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.480 I keep them in my I joke a lot now 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:38.680 like inner within myself because my purse looks so different 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.800 now that it used to look like back in the day, 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.960 and like now and I'm you know, I will and 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:47.520 you know, like I've done this with you, Like we 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:49.480 could be out at a function or you know, out 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:51.520 of town or whatever, and I'm like, oh, I have this, 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:53.920 and I have that. Pull out medicines and herbs and 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:58.600 tinctures and it's just like it. It keeps me so grounded. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.960 So plant medicine. I stick with that. I stay with that. 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.080 I listen to music that helps my brain waves be 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:11.120 in a supportive space and create firm, healthy boundaries of 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.480 not just energy from people, but things of like what 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.040 can come into my eargate iGATE during this very vulnerable time, 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.640 and knowing that it's a vulnerable time. And with that, 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.480 if I'm in a vulnerable time, I really have to 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:30.079 mother and be mindful of how I'm authoring my thoughts 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:33.960 and my words and my beliefs during this time. And 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.080 so I'm just so hands on. And so now I 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.680 talk about in the book that become the chemist of 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:41.920 your life, so that you can understand your life as 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:46.439 your laboratory. And certain things together make potions, and certain 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:50.240 compounds together are beautiful, but other compounds together are poisons 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:54.600 and toxins. So just really understanding that and all this 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.840 helps to inform how you take care of your vessel, 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:01.959 which is carrying the gifts and this next expansion. Yeah, 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.839 I love that so so much. One of my teachers 0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:10.320 kind of described it as like run experiments on yourself. Yeah, 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.080 you know, like be willing to experiment with yourself, like 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.440 even in those thoughts and actions, like if I made 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:19.200 this decision differently, let's just see what could come, you know, 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.680 and then kind of we get to adapt from there. 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.280 Adapt That word is like, that's the word. That's the 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:29.480 word adapt because it's gonna it's going to cause you 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:30.560 to adapt so much. 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:34.720 Something that that you were talking about, And this is 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:38.400 something we really live by and talk about all the time. 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.400 But I haven't talked about it too much on the 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:46.400 show yet. You know, there's a lot of phrases that 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:50.200 are getting thrown around a lot right now. A lot 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.080 of a lot of people are like I'm an impath, 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:53.160 I'm highly sensitive. 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.080 A lot are. But it's also there are. 0:14:56.120 --> 0:15:02.280 Terms that I think are not always fully translated. And 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.720 I would love to talk about that with you for 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.040 a minute, because you and I are both empathic, and 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:12.680 we are both like very highly sensitive, like very high 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:17.400 Like we can't be in toxic rooms because we'll absorb 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.520 the energy that's present, so you know one thing about 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:23.560 you and I will pop up and we'll be in 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:28.040 the mix, and then you won't hear from us for months. Yes, yes, 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.160 but you know that piece. That's something. When I first 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.640 learned of that phrase early in my journey, I really 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:39.480 rejected that label highly sensitive because I didn't fully understand 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.960 what it meant, and as someone that had lived a 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.200 life that I felt like, I don't look like the 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:48.520 things that I've been through, so sometimes people assume things 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:52.720 are easier than they've actually been. I really rejected that 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.440 because I would say, I'm not sensitive. You don't know 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:55.960 my life. 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:57.160 Do you know what I've walked through? 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.640 I'm not sensitive, And I didn't really understand that it 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.600 meant like deep sensitivity of your physical body, like at 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.920 a cellular level, the way that your body responds to stress, 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.880 the way that your body responds to toxicity. But that 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:14.000 alone is such a profound healing journey. When you can 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:18.320 understand that you know some things that may be happening 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:24.160 to you physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, there's a whole other 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:30.280 category of experience you're having that could be massively different 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.960 from other people. Yes, can we speak to that can 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.040 you speak on what that journey is for you, kind 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:42.560 of being someone that's highly sensitive, someone that is incredibly intuitive, 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.000 and how you adapt your needs around that. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:49.400 Oh, absolutely was. It was helpful for me as well 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:53.760 because I had language for what I was experiencing, and 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.720 like the adage goes, name it to tame it, and 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:59.440 so it helps to know, Okay, well, I have a 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:04.119 sensitivity to stimuli, into energy, into people's fields, and even 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:07.119 to people's thoughts, like I can. I can literally be 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:09.359 in a room and feel someone's thoughts. But when I 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.480 was younger, I didn't know what to do with that, 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.760 like what are you growing up in the eighties and 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:18.800 in night, Like yeah, there was just no context language, 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:22.240 no language, no community, no support for any of this. 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.000 So it kind of swept that swept under the rug. 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:29.760 So we're our generation is the ones who were awakening 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:33.200 to it in a way of like oh we're we're 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:37.080 We brought the support online. So now this next generation 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:40.520 and the generations to come, we'll have language forward and 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.720 community and support and a path already paved to say 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.919 it's okay to land here and to be like this. 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:50.720 But I, for the life of me, I felt so 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.840 awkward For a huge majority of my life. It was 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.080 a lot of masking. It was a lot of fitting 0:17:57.200 --> 0:17:59.840 in because oh, no one else is feeling this, all right, 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:01.959 you know, I'm just keeping it to myself. But at 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:05.000 the same time, I'm reading the room. I know we 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:08.280 shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't be here for sure, 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.840 but going along with it. So there's a lot of 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.439 killing I had to do through even that type of 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:18.840 thing of not being true to who I was because 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:21.320 no one else could understand it. So I just kind 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.280 of just buried it, right and so now, but living 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:28.399 in that authenticity, authenticity and in my power with it 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:33.280 changed the game. Like, I'm so happy that I claimed 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:35.959 who I am and I'm proud of it. I'm happy, 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:41.840 you know, I'm full of gratitude for being able to 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.760 name like what I'm going through, and you know, even 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.320 even on a deeper level of like recently finding out 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.800 other things about myself of like, Okay, you're on the 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:54.159 spectrum and it's okay, it's okay to be you know, 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:58.119 high functioning and on the spectrum. And I never understood 0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:05.240 that before you I love you, Yeah, And so for 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:08.480 me understanding, well, this is why you had that gift, 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:10.800 This is why you had these feelings, this is why 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.639 you could perceive things. This is why people didn't always 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:17.600 understand you, and this is why you were misled or mislabeled. 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:21.320 And you know, thinking back far as like kindergarten, you know, 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:23.439 being put back in kindergarten because they didn't know what 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.840 was wrong with me. But now that I understand that 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:29.119 it wasn't anything wrong. It was just different, right, and 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:32.679 it was just something different. And so being able to 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:34.640 share that even in this space, this is my first time, 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:40.760 as you know, sharing this publicly. But I'm at home here, 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:43.639 you know, I'm at home here. My mother left the 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:46.359 planet not knowing because I did have a later in life, 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:51.879 as obviously, diagnosis of you know, of being on the spectrum. 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:54.679 So it's different for me. And then you know, the 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:59.080 way I see energy. I have a niece who also, 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:02.760 you know, is on the autism spectrum, and she is 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:06.119 such a joy to our family, and for so long 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:09.359 I connected with her, you know, I connected with my 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:11.760 niece on such a deep level. Now I was always like, 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.000 this is my baby, this is my baby. But now 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:17.640 I understand. Now I understand why a truly felt like that. 0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:22.000 So it gave me this new for one, a new identity, 0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:25.520 and I'm like, wow, cool is that? Like? I embrace it. 0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:27.119 You know, there was grief a little bit when I 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.560 first found out to you know, because I was like, 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.680 I went through denial of like there is absolutely no way, 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:35.440 and then I had to understand what highly functioning meant. 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:41.200 But also being careful of that word because anyone who's 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:45.800 highly sensitive or who is on the spectrum or who 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:49.480 is empathic people, because you can function sometimes at a 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:53.520 high capacity, you're not given the grace to also have 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:55.919 your sensitivities. And I think, you know, that's why a 0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:58.840 lot of people now want to remove the term highly 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:03.639 functioning it comes to autism, because it sometimes gives people 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:06.920 a false sense of you know, capacity, when sometimes it's 0:21:06.920 --> 0:21:12.080 not there. So so yeah, so just energy, being empathic, 0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:16.280 highly sensitives. I think that once you can realize whoever 0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:20.439 you are and however you identify, that it's okay and 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.000 to just journey and grace and understand that this is 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.760 how your unique spirit chose to be in this type 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.960 of body this lifetime, and that body is necessary, that 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:34.720 sensitivity is necessary, and learning how to master it one 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.160 thing for me when I was younger, I was very 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.199 highly reactive. My feelings would get hurt so easy. I 0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:43.080 would get triggered so easy, I would pop off so easy. 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:44.720 I would just be like, Okay, this is what we're 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:47.120 doing so easy, you know, match the energy so easy. 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:51.120 And that was as you know, for my types, that's 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:53.920 the absolute worst you could do is to match energy. 0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:56.840 Take even more on. So, you know, being able now 0:21:56.880 --> 0:22:01.640 to stay in the practice of mindfulness, vibration and meditation, 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.359 all these things just really helped speak you know, to 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:08.239 who and what that was, and you know, just the 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:09.520 times that we're. 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:30.639 In deeply well, I just really want to express, like 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:37.240 how much, just how much I honor the gift that 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:41.320 you are giving so many by choosing to share your 0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:47.000 experience right now, because this is a piece of things 0:22:47.040 --> 0:22:51.680 that are kind of I feel that, you know, these 0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:56.920 conversations around mental health and spiritual development have been really intensifying, 0:22:57.040 --> 0:23:00.399 especially since twenty twenty, but really in the life last 0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:05.479 couple of decades. For the ability for children to have 0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:10.200 diagnosises that are supportive to them being able to live 0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:15.919 a life that allows them to maximize their possibilities, and 0:23:16.880 --> 0:23:20.320 something that is happening right now is that there is 0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:26.440 a huge wave of Generation X and Generation and millennials 0:23:26.440 --> 0:23:31.640 that are getting very late diagnosises, and there are men 0:23:31.720 --> 0:23:34.600 and women across the country that are awakening to finding 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:38.920 out that they have neurodivergence in a variety of ways, 0:23:39.840 --> 0:23:43.120 with many being you know what is at least right now, 0:23:43.119 --> 0:23:45.760 I think this is still the correct terminology. It's changing 0:23:45.840 --> 0:23:50.600 pretty rapidly, but being on the spectrum of autism and 0:23:50.680 --> 0:23:53.760 a lot of people are not getting that diagnosis, especially 0:23:53.920 --> 0:23:59.879 women and girls until now like thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, 0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:08.600 and it is it's so powerful to just have an 0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:12.879 understanding of who you are and who you've been, and 0:24:12.960 --> 0:24:15.359 to understand that so many of the things that you 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:18.439 may have been fighting with yourself over in Wye or 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:21.600 you know, reactions that you're having internally that other people 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:24.440 aren't seeing, ways that you're trying to understand the world 0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:28.640 around you that other people are completely unaware of. Yeah, 0:24:29.320 --> 0:24:33.280 and to just know that you're perfectly designed and this 0:24:33.400 --> 0:24:35.600 whole time you just weren't giving the phrasing and you 0:24:35.600 --> 0:24:38.840 weren't giving the support to be able to be your 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:40.520 full whole self, and so. 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:50.000 I'm just so yeah, thank you, we are just yeah, 0:24:50.400 --> 0:24:55.720 it's your being your full whole self. Like that's if 0:24:55.760 --> 0:24:58.600 there was anything I could look back on, if anything, 0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:01.080 out of all the things I can regret of my past, 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:06.720 that's the only one because everything else I understand was purpose, 0:25:07.040 --> 0:25:11.160 you know, it was prerequisite lessons, it was, it was 0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:15.560 boot camp. But not being able to be my full self, 0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:21.119 that's the one where I understand that that had the 0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:26.400 most impact for me, honestly, even over the trauma over 0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:31.399 domestic like like really over domestic violence, you know, over 0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:35.520 being lost in these streets, really like being turned out 0:25:35.560 --> 0:25:39.240 like in so many different ways, you know, through predator relationships. 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:41.399