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Speaker 1: Did you know that there are some people out there

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Speaker 1: who still use the library?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 1: I use it so over eight years old?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, the libraries are great and air conditioned.

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Speaker 1: Well we know this because a guy set up his

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Speaker 1: brother who recently went to the library to check out

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Speaker 1: movies and comic books. Again, he's over eight years old.

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Speaker 1: He is an adult, and of course Brook makes the

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Speaker 1: perfect librarian. So she's going to go in on him.

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Speaker 1: In your phone tap right now another.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, I'm calling from the public library. I'm the

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Speaker 2: librarian here. My name is Fiona, Fiona friend Bloom.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 2: Can you hear me? Am I speaking to Philip?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, what is this regarding?

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Speaker 2: Are you in the bathroom right now? He sounds echoey.

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Speaker 3: Nope, I'm in my office.

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Speaker 2: Oh funny, Okay, Well Philip, you came in here yesterday

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Speaker 2: and run it a DVD.

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Speaker 3: I did, That's correct?

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Speaker 2: Oh look at that. It looks like it was con Air.

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Speaker 2: I love that movie. Sorry, Nicholas Cage great pick. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I love those old airplane hijack prison things.

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Speaker 3: Huh is there a reason why you're calling? Or I'm sorry, Like,

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Speaker 3: what's what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Sorry?

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Speaker 2: I'm getting sidetracked. Yeah, to the point. Listen, while you

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Speaker 2: were here, we noticed that you look through a few

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Speaker 2: of our comic books in the teen section. Yes, you

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Speaker 2: weren't there to meet teens, were you.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what what do you mean by there to

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Speaker 3: meet teens?

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Speaker 2: You paused a little long there. It's kind of a

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Speaker 2: yes or no question.

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Speaker 3: No is the answer. I mean, I don't I don't

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Speaker 3: understand why you're implying by asking questions.

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Speaker 2: Just protocol I have to ask. Kind of weird when

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Speaker 2: adult males there. But anyway, what I.

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Speaker 3: Like comic books, that's a that's a normal thing for

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Speaker 3: somebody to read.

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Speaker 2: Totally totally normal. So I do need to inform you that,

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Speaker 2: as of today, you are no longer welcome in the facility.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry what I'm no longer welcome because the comic

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Speaker 3: books are in the teen section.

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Speaker 2: No, No, I believe you on that despite that long pause. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but no, this is in regards to our fecal spectrometer readings.

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Speaker 3: Your fecal spectrometer readings. I have no idea what that means.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm surprised all libraries have them. Yeah, it's a device.

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Speaker 2: I can tell if you've used any of our reading

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Speaker 2: material wall in a bathroom if you didn't wash your

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Speaker 2: hands and it transferred to the.

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Speaker 3: Pages, I'm happy to say that I have good hygiene,

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Speaker 3: like I didn't. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: That's funny because I'm going to let you know one

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Speaker 2: of our comic books that you were reading came back

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Speaker 2: with severely high levels of I'll say bathroom matter.

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Speaker 3: Right, But firstly, since when do you all do stupid

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Speaker 3: poop tests on your magazine?

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Speaker 2: Okay, now they're stupid. Here's the thing. We've never had

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Speaker 2: this high of level before for so we even had

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Speaker 2: to shut the library down this morning for a deep cleaning.

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Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Let's see why this is a big deal.

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Speaker 3: Just throw away the magazine. And secondly, if it's a

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Speaker 3: comic book, I guarantee you some kid picked that up.

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Speaker 3: A little kid. Kid's fault.

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Speaker 2: So first you try to meet teens, then you blame

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Speaker 2: it on them.

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Speaker 3: This line of questioning is inappropriate.

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Speaker 2: You know what question I do have for you is

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Speaker 2: I just need to know if you happen to use

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Speaker 2: one of those pages to wipe that's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Did you do that?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: I didn't know because the levels were out of this world.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you mentioned that already, and it's not mine.

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Speaker 2: I think I know what's going on. Are you one

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Speaker 2: of those hand earthers where you believe hands should wash

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Speaker 2: themselves naturally without sop water.

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Speaker 3: That's not even a thing. No, I'm not a hand earther.

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Speaker 3: We got a book on it.

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Speaker 2: Actually, it's very much a thing.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well it's not my thing. Okay, I didn't wipe

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Speaker 3: crap on the magazine. There's no way you can officially

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Speaker 3: tell it was me.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking about it more and it's making me sick

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Speaker 2: thinking of what you're reading of your phone making my

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Speaker 2: spectrometer was near your phone, I bet it'd be like,

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Speaker 2: whoa what mine's going off right now? Did you touch

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Speaker 2: the library phone and Pulley?

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Speaker 3: No, if that's the sound, if that's the sound of

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Speaker 3: your stupid spectrometer, you're the one who caused a problem.

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Speaker 2: Okay, not me, you know, actually that's not you.

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Speaker 3: Not just hear it going off like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not possible at all, because I don't even

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Speaker 2: work at the library.

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Speaker 3: Then who are you?

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Speaker 2: This is actually brug from the radio show Broke and

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Your brother Brian set you up for a prank phone call. No,

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Speaker 2: he said, he's always making fun of you for your

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Speaker 2: comic book obsession.

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Speaker 3: When you said that I had put BC Auto magazine,

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Speaker 3: I was like, that is not possible. And then asking

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Speaker 3: me why I was in the teen section, I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, my heart was in my god.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I mean it does look a little weird, right.

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Speaker 3: I like comic books, okay, like at the library places

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Speaker 3: are there.

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Speaker 2: I have to go there, but you don't have to

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Speaker 2: take them into the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: And I don't sure totally

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Speaker 2: What our readings said, Oh, wake Up every morning was

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Speaker 2: fum tap weekday mornings on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey

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Speaker 2: in the morning