1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,720 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts, and. 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: We have some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 3: I was dropped as made of honor because of my looks. 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 4: You're just too hot. 9 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 3: Sophie and I, both twenty seven, have been close friends 10 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 3: since we were four. We are not the speak every 11 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 3: single day Laurel Susannah type friends, but I genuinely considered 12 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 3: her a sister and her parents like an aunt and uncle. 13 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 3: Our families are close. My whole family is invited to 14 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 3: her wedding, as is my boyfriend's family. My boyfriend is 15 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 3: Sophie's brother's best friend. That is how close we all are. 16 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 3: So I was not really surprised when she asked me 17 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 3: to be her maid of honor, and I think I 18 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 3: have been a good one. And by the way, this 19 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 3: comes from user right Nose eighty eight twenty five. If 20 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 21 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 3: our slash Okay story Time subburt it. 22 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 5: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm keon, we are all here 23 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 5: to give good advice, goofly, but these goofy little meatballs 24 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 5: don't know the answers to every question in the history 25 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 5: of humanity. 26 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 6: You just referred to us as beatballs. 27 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, so let us 28 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 2: know what you would do. Are craving me in the comments? 29 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: Opie says, well, two weeks ago, Sophie, the other bridesmaids, 30 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 3: and I went to try on bridesmaid dresses. I thought 31 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 3: we all had a good time and that it was 32 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 3: a successful trip as we found dresses. But apparently not really, 33 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 3: because a couple of days later, Sophie asked to meet me. 34 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,759 Speaker 3: She asked that I stepped down from being made of honor, 35 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 3: she said, seeing me in the bridesmaid dress made or 36 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 3: realized she just did not want me stealing focus from her. 37 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 3: Called that she would not feel good standing up there, 38 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 3: knowing everyone was probably comparing us. 39 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 4: Boom called it, you're too hot. You're too hot for 40 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 4: the spotlight, too hot to be bridesmaid. 41 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 2: You're too hot, and I don't like it. Gotta be ugy. 42 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 2: Let's put you in a garbage bell. But then everybody 43 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 2: who look at you, cause it'd be like, why that 44 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: lady garbage bell? 45 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 6: All right, Dion, Fine, I'm more of a run around 46 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,399 Speaker 6: sue kind of guy. 47 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 2: But I was so hurt. 48 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 3: I admit I cried right there in the coffee shop, 49 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 3: partly because I never wanted her to think that anyone 50 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 3: would be thinking anything other than that she was the 51 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 3: most beautiful bride on her wedding day, and partly because 52 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 3: I was just so excited to be up there with her, 53 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 3: and she was kicking me out over something that I 54 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 3: couldn't even control and was not really even true. So 55 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 3: I sent fine, it was her wedding. If she didn't 56 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 3: want me up there, I wouldn't be. But I was 57 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 3: not going to come to the wedding as a guest 58 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 3: when clearly my presence was going to be a burden 59 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 3: to her. Sophie said that was not what she meant, 60 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 3: and I asked her to explain. Well, she doesn't really 61 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:50,679 Speaker 3: have to explain. 62 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 2: At this point. 63 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 3: You should understand there's a difference between being at someone's 64 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 3: wedding and being the maid of honor right next to 65 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 3: her up on the you know altar. Ye, it's gonna 66 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 3: be less of a comparison when you're not in the 67 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 3: bridal party. 68 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 2: That should be very self explanatory. 69 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, couldn't we could we just have kept 70 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 4: her in the bridal party. Ah, with this insecure, that 71 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 4: we can have our hot friend up there. 72 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's its own issue, right, Like, that's its own thing. 73 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:13,919 Speaker 2: She said. 74 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 3: She desperately wanted me there, so she was going to 75 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 3: put aside her feelings, but she just wanted pictures at 76 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 3: the altar, to be with her looking the best, and 77 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 3: to have that moment with everyone looking at her up there. 78 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 3: She also wanted me to tell everyone I dropped out 79 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 3: because I was too busy. I said, none of this 80 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 3: felt fair and I was not going to lie for her. 81 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 3: I was a good friend and did nothing wrong, and 82 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 3: she was being a brat, but that was her prerogative 83 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 3: and I did not have to play along. I told 84 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 3: my boyfriend about this, who was pretty horrified and agreed 85 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 3: that if I did not want to go, I shouldn't, 86 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 3: although he still is because he is friends with the groom. 87 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 3: But my mom and stepdad think I would be the 88 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 3: a hole if I didn't go. My mom said, it 89 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 3: has also been obvious that Sophie was insecure, but I 90 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 3: never noticed this. She can understand where she's coming from. 91 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 3: She said, I have had the spotlight our whole lives. Again, 92 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 3: I don't think this is true. Sophie is far more 93 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 3: outgoing and even well liked than I have ever been, 94 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 3: even though it's pretty sad. Maybe she does deserve to 95 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,919 Speaker 3: be the princess on her wedding day and I should 96 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 3: not hate her for that. 97 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 4: Well, she definitely does deserve to be the princess on 98 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 4: her wedding day. That's like the whole thing. 99 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 3: She says, I will regret missing the wedding over this. 100 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 3: My stepdad says I should go because she is my 101 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 3: oldest friend, and even if she is being unfair, sometimes 102 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 3: you have to let people be irrational. 103 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 2: I really do not know. Now. Sophie and I have 104 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 2: so many mutual friends. 105 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 3: There's not a lot of people I can ask about 106 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 3: this without it getting back to her. 107 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 2: So here I am. I feel like maybe I am being. 108 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 3: A knucklehead having this blow up, But I do not 109 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 3: see why I should even stay friends with someone who 110 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 3: would exclude me from her wedding party over something superficial, 111 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 3: and clearly she has been sitting on these feelings forever. 112 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 3: Not to mention, I already paid for her whole bachelorette 113 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 3: party and the bridesmaid dress and contributed to the cost 114 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 3: of her wedding jewelry. And now I just feel used. 115 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 3: So am I being a petty a hole by refusing 116 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 3: to go a little bit? 117 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 2: Probably? 118 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you should still go. I do think 119 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 4: that if you're not in the bridal party anymore, you 120 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 4: should get a refund for that stuff kind of thing. 121 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 4: But like, is this friendship changing, Yes, should you pick 122 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 4: this spot to like throw a tantrum about? Probably not. 123 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 4: We should probably just like unfortunately back down a little bit. 124 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 3: This is less of like a shot at you and 125 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,559 Speaker 3: more of just like the unfortunate, Like, hey, I can't 126 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 3: help it, you're just way hotter than me. 127 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want you up there because you're hotter 128 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 2: than me. 129 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:45,119 Speaker 4: Like I'd be really confusedly hurt in like I'm hurt 130 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 4: that I can't be up there with you, but like 131 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 4: it's because you think I'm hot, right, So but I 132 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 4: wouldn't not go, Like I think I'd still be like, 133 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 4: of course, like hey, listen, like that really hurts. I'll 134 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 4: get my thoughts out, but like I'll be there for you. Yeah, 135 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 4: And then we can distance if we're like really that hurt. 136 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 3: We have some comments from Kitten Mittens. Oh waight o nine, 137 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 3: I've dumped friends for a lot less not the a 138 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: hole ta for Pterosaur says, I love how people seem 139 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 3: to think you will regret not going, and not that 140 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 3: she should regret her crappy behavior throwing away your friendship 141 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 3: because she's jealous of you. 142 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: How's that like? 143 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 4: I think she will though, that's the thing. But I 144 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 4: just don't think that that's our time to call that 145 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 4: out for her, because she's not the one asking for 146 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 4: that advice. She could regret that later on sharp maybe 147 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 4: she'll come back to you with an apology, but like, 148 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 4: ultimately she's not gonna change it. She's not gonna come 149 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 4: to that. No one's gonna give her crap for it. 150 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 4: So it's like our own selves to take care of. 151 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it makes sense to want to be 152 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 3: the hottest one at your own wedding. 153 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 4: I don't think that you should ever get rid of friends, though, 154 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 4: because I think no matter what, the bride is gonna 155 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 4: be the hottest one at the wedding. Yeah, the spotlight 156 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 4: will always just be on the bride. It's crazy to 157 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 4: be like it would be somewhere else. Nah, girl, you're 158 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 4: gonna be that princess. Don't don't worry. Yeah, me the 159 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 4: prettiest girl at the party. Where's bubbles? 160 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 3: I'm just sad because I'm so this person's a victim 161 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 3: of being hot. 162 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,040 Speaker 4: Is it because you want to be the hottest person 163 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 4: at Opie's friend's wedding? 164 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 2: No? 165 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 4: No, no, we can get you out there. 166 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 3: I wouldn't go to a wedding where the bride appointed 167 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 3: me maide of honor, let me pay for all the 168 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: stuff related to that, and then booted me out of 169 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 3: the bridal party for any reason. But hers is particularly pathetic. 170 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 3: I think most of my friends are hotter than me. 171 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 3: But I'm not a pathetic baby, so it's fine. Not 172 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 3: the ahole ikey tree branch says, you know ages ago. 173 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 3: I looked up to my besti's ex boyfriend. His profile 174 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 3: pick was his wedding pick. Looking at his new bride objectively, 175 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 3: she was not as pretty as my friend. She was 176 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 3: kind of average looking, but that day she was radiant 177 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 3: and joyful, and it elevated her so that she could 178 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 3: have been standing next to Taylor Swift and missus swift 179 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 3: would have been invisible. It's pretty difficult to outshine a 180 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 3: blist out bride. Too bad, this false friend is too 181 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 3: insecure to realize that. 182 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 2: Judgment not the a whole. Updated twenty days later. 183 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 4: I mean, I do agree with a lot of that. 184 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 4: I just don't think there's much that you can do 185 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 4: at that point. 186 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, you know, if you want to talk 187 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 3: about maybe getting some of your money back, or her 188 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 3: paying you back to the stuff you paid for, because 189 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 3: that's fair. 190 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 4: Definitely not getting part of that, I. 191 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 2: Think that's totally within the bounds of reason. 192 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 4: But like the rest of the stuff, like being back 193 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 4: in the bridal party or like not showing up, I 194 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 4: don't think that there's much that you can do about that, 195 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 4: Like she's not going to reinstate you as the maid 196 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 4: of honor at this point. I don't think would you 197 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 4: even want to be at that point, Like at that 198 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 4: point if she came back and she was like I've 199 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 4: actually like I've sat with my thoughts and i and 200 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 4: like I've changed my mind, I think I'd be like, 201 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 4: I'm not sure I can, Yeah, which I guess is 202 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 4: the same thing. If you're not sure that you can't 203 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 4: even go to the way. 204 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 3: All right, Well, we do have an update. Firstly, some 205 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 3: digging was done by my boyfriend and myself and we 206 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 3: think we found the root of the issue. A couple 207 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 3: of months ago, my boyfriend, Sophie's brother, the groom, and 208 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 3: Sophie were out for drinks. I remember this night I 209 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 3: had an event for another friend and couldn't go over drinks. 210 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 3: The groom apparently asked when my boyfriend was going to 211 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 3: propose to me, and my boyfriend said probably sometime next year. 212 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 3: Groom then made a comment to the effect of why 213 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 3: would you wait that long? She's perfect now, According to 214 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 3: both my boyfriend and Sophie's brother, Sophie was really mad 215 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 3: about this because groom waited several years to propose to her. 216 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 3: She's been bringing it up to him regularly since. Obviously, 217 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 3: we all assume he meant perfect for you, not literally perfect, 218 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 3: but Sophie appears to be taking it personally. The second 219 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 3: thing is that my mother did a little gentle probing, 220 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 3: and it turns out that at the bride'smaid fitting, Sophie's 221 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 3: mom told Sophie that she should have chosen a dress 222 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 3: that wasn't going to make me look better. 223 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 2: Than her. I don't think she said it like that 224 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 2: to Sophie. This is just how she relayed it to 225 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 2: my mom and draw attention away from her. 226 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 3: According to Sophie's mom, our aunt and cousin said the 227 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 3: same thing, and I guess kind of ganged up on 228 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 3: her about it. 229 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 2: She also has been on Sophie about a pre wedding. 230 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 3: Diet, so it seems like these two things got blown 231 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 3: out of proportion and ended up in Sophie's request that 232 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 3: I'm not be made of honor. I ended up deciding 233 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: not to speak to Sophie about any of this. She's 234 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 3: planning her wedding, she should enjoy this time. I don't 235 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 3: want to make this about me or our friendship, and 236 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,959 Speaker 3: if I'm being totally honest, I was kind of done 237 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 3: with the friendship after the initial conversation. I wanted to 238 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 3: know the reasons for my own peace of mind. But 239 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,199 Speaker 3: the truth is nothing was going to change the fact 240 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 3: that she took her feelings out on me, who only 241 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 3: ever wanted to support her. None of these things came 242 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 3: from me or had anything to do with me, but 243 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 3: she chose to take a wrecking ball to a twenty 244 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 3: year friendship rather than confront the people who upset her. 245 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 4: Well, I feel like you are not confronting the people who. 246 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 2: Upset Yeah, exactly. 247 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 3: I was going to say, let's look in the mirror 248 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 3: really quick, because you're letting this now entirely destroy your 249 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 3: friendship with that person. Which if I was best friends 250 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 3: with someone for twenty years and this happened, I certainly 251 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 3: wouldn't no longer be friends with. 252 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 4: Them, right, I would accept an apology and like us 253 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 4: to talk about it, and probably my money back. 254 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, and especially after I hear the reasoning right one 255 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 3: thousand percent, I'm like, Okay, let's talk. 256 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,319 Speaker 2: This is understandable. Yeah, you've got a lot of stuff 257 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 2: in your ear. 258 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 4: Right, let me be your best friend. Let's talk about this. 259 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 6: Right, let me be your hot best friend. 260 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 3: No, he continues, I can't wrap my head around that, 261 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,199 Speaker 3: and I'm not going to try going forward. That being said, 262 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 3: I decided to go to the wedding as my boyfriend's 263 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 3: plus one, essentially just for closure to this entire mess. 264 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 3: Now that I've calmed down, I really don't feel any 265 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 3: particular way about going. I'll eat, I'll drink, I'll clap, 266 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 3: and Sophie will just be the wife of my boyfriend's friend. 267 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 2: From now on, I guess what are you talking about? Dude. 268 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 2: You're just upid. You're coping in a weird way. 269 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 4: Do whatever you want. Dude, I don't even care anymore. 270 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, you suck more than she does. 271 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 4: It. You're now doing like the exact same thing that 272 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 4: she was doing, where you're like taking one conversation way 273 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 4: too far and too crazy and getting way too butt 274 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 4: hurt about it. 275 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 6: OPI, you may be hot, but you're acting ugly right now. 276 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 2: I haven't told anyone why I'm not made of honor. 277 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 3: I just said in the group chat that it for 278 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 3: personal reasons, and everyone can speculate. 279 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 2: And there's a little bit left of this. 280 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 3: Story from this show, OPI, you stink a little bit, 281 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 3: a little bit more than your friend does, because at 282 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,719 Speaker 3: least your friend, it's understandable she did what she did. 283 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: We're emotional creatures. 284 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, And on that note, you know, it's somewhat understandable 285 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 3: that you're having this reaction that you did. But don't 286 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 3: go and say like she didn't do the thing that 287 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 3: I'm doing right now or whatever, like she. 288 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 4: You guys are doing the same things. So I feel 289 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 4: like at this point we can just both step back, 290 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 4: have a good old laugh about it, and move on. 291 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 3: Once the wedding is over, I'll tell our mutual friends 292 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: the truth and they can do with that info what 293 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 3: they will. Sophia has reached out since to talk, but 294 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 3: I sent her a message telling her that I'll be 295 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 3: at the wedding as a guest and that I hope 296 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 3: she enjoys this time in her life and wishing her 297 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 3: the best, and haven't been replying to anything else. 298 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 2: Why you're being a problem. 299 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 3: You're making the problem where she she reached out to 300 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 3: actively probably explain herself about the problem. Now you won't 301 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 3: even talk to her, so you're doing the exact same thing. 302 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I was potentially pre harsh to you, 303 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 4: but now I feel like it's reasonable, Lee harsh. 304 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 3: I it's surprised me how quickly I've reached the numbness 305 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 3: of just not caring anymore. That's crazy, but that's where 306 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 3: I'm at, says Ope. I genuinely wish her the best, 307 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 3: but I just have zero interest in being part of 308 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 3: her life anymore. I just can't see her or anything 309 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 3: about our friendship the same way anymore. 310 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 4: So that's that you're all little stinky poop poop babies 311 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 4: that can't talk out your. 312 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 6: All over, just like that's a really tall horse there 313 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 6: you got op. 314 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 3: Oh, this is all just over, like a symbolic title 315 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:40,079 Speaker 3: for a symbolic ceremony that is just based on nothing 316 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 3: but tradition. So it's like you're letting all this stuff 317 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 3: that really has nothing. 318 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 2: To do with you, guys, destroy you guys. I don't know. 319 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 2: I don't really know what else to include. 320 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 3: If anyone else has anything to ask that I've missed, 321 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,319 Speaker 3: feel free to ask. 322 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: Thank you to everyone who commented. And that's the end 323 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 2: of that story. 324 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 6: I just want you to comment. 325 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,199 Speaker 4: Can we have like a common you just have. 326 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 3: The conversation your numb little you little light a cane 327 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 3: person crazy. 328 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 4: We're throwing twenty years of friendship away because both of 329 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,079 Speaker 4: us got a little but heard about something. 330 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 2: Well, no, it's because she had freaking snakes in her ear, 331 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 2: being like she looks so much hotter than you, and 332 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 2: you're fat and ugly and need to go on a diet. 333 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 4: Insecurities are rough. Sometimes they hit you, sometimes you're not 334 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 4: expecting them, and sometimes they get to you too hard, 335 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 4: Like that's it's not fair to you, but it's like 336 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 4: reasonable to forgive. This is an update one that we 337 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 4: didn't read. 338 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 6: No, this one, this one's this is brand new. 339 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 4: Can we read it to put us so key on? 340 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: Please? 341 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 2: We gotten? We've got more. Update now, folks. 342 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 4: Up up update. Take your guests on before or after 343 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 4: the wedding update. 344 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I think I think. 345 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 4: It's I'm gonna guess after. 346 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 2: Okay, here is the update. 347 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 3: A lot of people wanted an update post wedding, and 348 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 3: I didn't really think I was going to do one 349 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 3: because it was just a wedding right wrong, so key things. 350 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 3: Everyone in our families ended up figuring out the general 351 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 3: reason for. 352 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 2: Me not being in the wedding. I didn't tell them, 353 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 2: you sure. 354 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 3: Sophie's brother got it from her fiance, and I guess 355 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 3: kind of hinted to their parents. I didn't entertain any 356 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 3: conversations about it and was traveling anyway, so I don't 357 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 3: know what happened there, but I know third hand that 358 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 3: there were conversations happening. 359 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: Sophie stopped reaching out. 360 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 3: Shortly after that happened, my boyfriend and I got engaged 361 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: while traveling very sudden. I have a placeholder ring because 362 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 3: it was so unplanned. We are still in the process 363 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 3: of sorting out the real one. 364 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 4: Loel, what did he propose with? I don't know, a 365 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 4: rock like a penguin, a leaf. I got you this pebble. 366 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 2: I got you this pebble. 367 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 3: I thought it was beautiful like you, and I'm almost 368 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 3: spanning the risk of my life with you. 369 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 4: That's what penguins do. They picked the prettiest rock. 370 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 3: We only told our own parents and decided it would 371 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 3: stay this way until after the wedding. I did not 372 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 3: go all out on my outfit for the wedding, sorry 373 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 3: to disappoint some of you, hah. 374 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 4: I think that would have been rude if he did. 375 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 3: All in all, the wedding was nice and smooth. I 376 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 3: was sat at a table with my boyfriend and his 377 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 3: family and two of my stepbrothers, and obviously didn't get 378 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 3: ready with the bridesmaids, so mercifully managed to avoid any 379 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 3: awkward questions or mentions of the situation. It's only awkward 380 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 3: because y'all have made it so awkward. 381 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 4: But yeah, why didn't we just hash this out and 382 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 4: move on? 383 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 3: Like I said, I've barely been home and a wedding 384 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 3: isn't the time to catch up with people, so it 385 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 3: was a very normal wedding experience, small talk, food, et cetera. 386 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 3: I got from the conversations I did have that people 387 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 3: assumed I dropped out of being made of honor because 388 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 3: I was busy this time of year, which I am, 389 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 3: and I didn't correct anyone. Everything was fine until the speeches, 390 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 3: during which Sophie's husband, who i'll call Nick for the 391 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 3: purpose of this story, congratulated me and my boyfriend on 392 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 3: our engagement. Yeah. 393 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 4: I was wondering when the engagement was going to come up, 394 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 4: and I knew it was gonna be something about that. 395 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 3: We are still racking our brains to think how the 396 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 3: he found out. We only told our parents I didn't 397 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 3: wear a ring to the wedding. All our siblings and 398 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 3: friends were shot. We were absolutely mortified. I think all 399 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 3: the guests were as well. Sophie was clearly very upset. 400 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,919 Speaker 3: I won't be so self absorbed to say it ruined 401 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 3: the evening, but I was definitely squirming for the rest 402 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 3: of the time we were there. We didn't make our 403 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 3: exit immediately because that would have caused more drama, but 404 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 3: we left earlier than intended. Our parents don't even know Nick, 405 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,919 Speaker 3: so they wouldn't have spilled the beans. 406 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 6: They probably did. 407 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 2: Maybe they did. 408 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,919 Speaker 6: They had to. They had to. If those are the 409 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,679 Speaker 6: only people you told, nobody knew. If those are the 410 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 6: only people who you told, hate to break it to you, 411 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 6: they must have. They must have told somebody. And they 412 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,399 Speaker 6: were like, we brot, We didn't tell anybody. You definitely 413 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 6: told somebody. 414 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 4: Someone saw them ring shopping and like called Nick up 415 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 4: and guess what I just saw? 416 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 2: I mean, it could have been your fiance. Let's be honest. 417 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 4: Isn't Nick like his good friend, right someone okay, must 418 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 4: have the most logical option. 419 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 6: Someone out of all of you must have told somebody, 420 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,479 Speaker 6: and everyone's playing't do it. 421 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 3: We didn't confront him because he was pretty tipsy by 422 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 3: the time speeches came around, and afterwards it just didn't 423 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 3: seem appropriate. And now they're on their honeymoon. My boyfriend 424 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 3: is planning to bring it up with Nick when they 425 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 3: get back, but he's pretty angry that Nick did that 426 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 3: and doesn't think they'll be hanging out going forward. I 427 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 3: sent Sophie a DM expressing how sorry I was about 428 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 3: what happened, which she left on read, which is fair. 429 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,920 Speaker 6: The only person's fault. That was was Sophie's husband that said, 430 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 6: and congratulations to the new couple, the newly wet. 431 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 3: It's like, bruh, this is our way, this is your wedding, 432 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 3: the what ailding? 433 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 6: To make things so much worse, our friends. 434 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 2: Still don't know the full story. 435 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 3: By the way, I'm not really free to even meet 436 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 3: up with people between now and the new year, and 437 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 3: I think I just want to give this awesome breathing 438 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 3: room and enjoy the holidays, so I won't be in 439 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 3: a hurry to tell them. Obviously, they're all pleased about 440 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,239 Speaker 3: the engagement and shocked about what happened. None of them 441 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 3: have spoken to Sophie since she's away right now, and 442 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,360 Speaker 3: I guess avoiding everyone. 443 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 2: So that's that. 444 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 3: Really not the update I thought i'd be giving, or 445 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 3: when I want it. I'm pretty shell shocked right now, 446 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,199 Speaker 3: to be honest, this has all just got so much 447 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 3: uglier than it ever needed to be. But I don't 448 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 3: know if these two things are even related. Maybe they're not. 449 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,399 Speaker 3: I'm still a bit creeped out that Nick managed to 450 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 3: find out something literally only five people knew, and you 451 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 3: don't know how. 452 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 4: So who's the fifth Your mom, your dad, you and 453 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 4: your fiance. Who's the fifth someone else knew? They probably 454 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 4: spilled the beans. 455 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 2: I don't know what else to say. And that's the 456 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 2: end of that story. Yeah, I don't know. 457 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,199 Speaker 3: It sounds like just like if you guys would have 458 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,640 Speaker 3: just worked this out, like you know, mature adults and 459 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,200 Speaker 3: just been like, hey, you had little They got their 460 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 3: hooks in your brain. 461 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 2: It's okay. I'm here to pull the hooks out of 462 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:39,440 Speaker 2: your brain. 463 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 4: And fiance weird for calling that out. 464 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is weird. That is weird. But that is 465 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 2: the end of that story. And we have another one 466 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:46,479 Speaker 2: coming up. 467 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 4: My friend refused to support me when my beloved cat 468 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 4: passed away. 469 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 2: That's not a friend. 470 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 4: I forties female and Jonna forty's female. I am a 471 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,680 Speaker 4: cat rescuer and eight months ago my own cat, who 472 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 4: was like a daughter to me, passed away very suddenly 473 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 4: after multiple mixed diagnoses and treatments. It broke my heart. 474 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 4: Johnna is also an animal lover and recently a single 475 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,440 Speaker 4: mom from a divorce and an empty nester. She also 476 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 4: has two cats. I had two of my own, not 477 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 4: including the fosters. By the way, this comes from Arwin 478 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 4: and aowen and if you want to submit your own stories, 479 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 4: go to the r slash okay, storytime supreddit and we're 480 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 4: here to give good advice. Goofully. We don't have all 481 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 4: the answers, We only know what we would do. Let 482 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 4: us know what you would do in the comments and 483 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 4: op says Johna. Left me alone for weeks, sent one 484 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,439 Speaker 4: short text and called about two weeks later. Once I 485 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 4: didn't see the call until later. I did text her 486 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 4: a few times asking for support. She had apologized, then 487 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,679 Speaker 4: send long texts about how hard she was working and 488 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 4: how hard her life was and how little money she had. 489 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:54,200 Speaker 4: This was while she was posting on social media parties, weddings, travel, 490 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 4: constant updates. I was in an accident three months ago. 491 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 4: I didn't tell Joanna, and very few people know. It 492 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,639 Speaker 4: was a bad accident, and I'm still recovering, still in pain, 493 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,199 Speaker 4: and still without a car or income. Johna texts occasionally, 494 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 4: very cheerfully, acting like everything's okay. One of Jona's cats 495 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 4: passed away suddenly about a month ago. I sent my 496 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 4: condolences by text and on social media, as she'd post 497 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 4: about it there. Jonna has a friend who occasionally donates 498 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 4: to my rescues about once a month. Jonna usually sends 499 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 4: me the bank slip after the transfer, and I always 500 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 4: thank her. The last time I told Joanna that I 501 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 4: had been in an accident, she said she was sorry 502 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 4: to hear that and didn't ask for anything more. So 503 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 4: that's been the pattern. I've been polite but distant for 504 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,879 Speaker 4: eight months, and she's been acting as if everything's okay. 505 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 4: Today Johna texted again about the donation. She said she'd 506 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 4: called and wondered why I didn't pick up, but when 507 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 4: I checked my call log, she hadn't. I said I 508 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,879 Speaker 4: hadn't seen it. I texted her saying, hey, I know 509 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,879 Speaker 4: you want to speak. I want to as well, but 510 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 4: you know we can't speak as we used to. 511 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:55,959 Speaker 2: Why not? Why not? 512 00:21:56,119 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 3: I'm confused. Did she already ignore that your cat passway? Yeah, 513 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 3: it didn't sound like that happened. Did we skip? 514 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 4: I didn't think that happened yet. She replied with long 515 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,040 Speaker 4: text about how busy she's been, how hard her work is, 516 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 4: how difficult take care of the kids are, some in college, 517 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 4: some working all out of state, and how much she's traveling. 518 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 4: I sent her, okay it is after Okay, I sent 519 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,440 Speaker 4: her a voice note saying that her lack of support 520 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 4: when my girl passed away really made me sad. I 521 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 4: know she's busy in all that, but it hasn't been 522 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 4: exactly easy for me. I'm sorry her cat passed away. 523 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 4: I'm sorry things are hard for her, but honestly, my 524 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 4: cat passing away and my accident are about me. I 525 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 4: don't have the capacity to support anyone else. I'm still 526 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 4: in constant pain. She sent me multiple voice notes, calling 527 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 4: me selfish and self centered and a disappointment to her 528 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 4: and a fake person if I claimed to be on 529 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 4: the spiritual path yet filled with self pity. I'm like 530 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 4: so confused about this story so far. 531 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 2: It sounds like you guys both did the exact same 532 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 2: thing to each other. 533 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like no, no, you did reach out, 534 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 4: but also just with sending her condolences, which is what 535 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 4: Johnna did. I think it's like one of those things 536 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 4: where it's like everyone has some sort of struggle in life, 537 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 4: and everyone's struggle is going to be different, and we 538 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,160 Speaker 4: can have the sympathy about it for everybody, but like 539 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 4: it doesn't change that, Like one person can still be 540 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 4: struggling if they're not deemed as like much of a 541 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 4: struggle as yours kind of thing. But you also don't 542 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 4: need to hear about it all the time. You guys 543 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 4: can be friends without only talking about that. 544 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,920 Speaker 3: More to life than your cat that is gone, which 545 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 3: is sad, but I don't know. It doesn't seem like 546 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,360 Speaker 3: the time to then lose one of your best friends, right. 547 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 2: Guys, there is a very exciting stream happening Thursday, and 548 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 2: I cannot wait. That's all I'm gonna say. 549 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 4: Ohp. He continues that she would not apologize for living 550 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 4: her life and not reaching out. It shocked me and 551 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 4: hurt me a lot. I responded as calmly as I 552 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 4: could that I didn't hold her responsible for what happened 553 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 4: to me, but for her lack of support as a friend, 554 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 4: and that what happened this year showed me who truly 555 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 4: cared and who didn't. I wished her well, I wished 556 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 4: her peace every happiness, and told her this friendship was over, 557 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 4: that there was no going back. I'm frankly quite stunned 558 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 4: by what happened. Johnna and I were family friends. My 559 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 4: mother liked her, loved her kids, but she's kept away 560 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,920 Speaker 4: this year since my girl passed away. I do wonder 561 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 4: if I should have been more forgiving and pretended everything 562 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 4: was okay and been friends with her like normal. Am 563 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 4: I the a hole? Edit? It always felt like the 564 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 4: Misery Olympics. I lost my cat, but she's having the 565 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 4: hard life. I ask for support, but her life sucks. 566 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 4: I have an accident, but she's working overtime to feed 567 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 4: her kids. Even today, when she was calling me names, 568 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 4: it was all about how her life is so hard. 569 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 4: It often felt like I had to put aside how 570 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,159 Speaker 4: I felt and commiserate with her. This has happened before, 571 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 4: when I was having a rough time financially and she 572 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 4: told me she'd had it harder when she was first married. 573 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 4: She just sounds miserable. She just wants to complain all 574 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 4: the time. 575 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 3: I mean, it sounds like you're looking for support from 576 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 3: a person who is like I can barely support myself. Yeah, 577 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 3: every day I struggled to support myself and my children, 578 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 3: So I don't really have the bandwidth to support you. 579 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 3: And it does sound like she's miserable if she's doing 580 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 3: the Yeah, well my financial situation was even worse. 581 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe she needs a therapist. So it's not just 582 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 4: dumped on our friend. 583 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's it's really uh. Our friends are 584 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 3: only built for so much before It's like, I don't 585 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 3: even know what to say my guy, like you got 586 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 3: to talk to professional. 587 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 4: We have an update, an update in case anyone is interested. 588 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 4: The background that I left out at the first post 589 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 4: for link. I had known Johnna for eight years. Jonah 590 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 4: works in a pharmacy as a great boss who gives 591 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 4: her grape bonuses, and she's been there for almost fifteen years. 592 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 4: Johna married young the first time. I think she was twenty. 593 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,959 Speaker 4: She had four daughters with her ex before they split up. 594 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,400 Speaker 4: She then left her girls with her ex and moved 595 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 4: away for work. When she came back to our town 596 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 4: a few years later, her oldest, now twenty five, didn't 597 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 4: want to live with her, but the three younger girls did. 598 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,959 Speaker 4: She then married her second husband, whom she split up 599 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 4: with last year. He took on her kids and they 600 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 4: adopted another daughter a few years later, so three out 601 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 4: of four girls are now in college. In total, Johanna 602 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,640 Speaker 4: has five girls, including one who's no contact with her. 603 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 4: Johanna loves posting on social media. Everything she's going through 604 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 4: is posted there, except for her split. Johna's oldest daughter 605 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 4: has gone no contact with her, so Johna goes to 606 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 4: her daughter's social media, downloads her public pictures, and shares 607 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 4: them on her own social media, accompanied by sad posts 608 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 4: and sad poetry. That wasn't the biggest tell about who 609 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 4: she is, though, that's crazy. 610 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 3: I mean I'd probably do the same thing if I 611 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 3: had a kid who refused to speak to me, I'd 612 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,199 Speaker 3: be I don't even know what that. 613 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 4: Go to her social media, take the pictures, post the. 614 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 2: Sable emotional mess all the time. I'm sure you know 615 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 2: it sounds like you're looking for your support in the 616 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 2: wrong place. Yeah, y'all both need support. 617 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 4: She posts about work, TikTok dances, videos of her singing 618 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:56,120 Speaker 4: and partying, and traveling about her sadness, heartbreak. It's constant. 619 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 4: Johna told me at the start of last year that 620 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 4: she's been unhappy with her marriage for a while. After 621 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,400 Speaker 4: she split up with him at the end of last year, 622 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 4: she told me that her husband had been verbally harmful, 623 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 4: but also that she didn't want to get a divorce. 624 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,439 Speaker 4: She said she missed out by marrying young and wanted 625 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 4: to go out and drink and party. Now she just 626 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,159 Speaker 4: wanted separate lives where they went out with other people 627 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 4: and stayed married in name. He didn't want that, so 628 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,440 Speaker 4: she moved out. Stead of renting a house of her own, 629 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,400 Speaker 4: she got herself a small flat where she took two rooms. 630 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 4: The landlady was also a friend she parties with and 631 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 4: is home half the month, so she has the last room. 632 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 4: The girls found this very hard, leaving the house they'd 633 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 4: grown up in, the lack of privacy, and missing their dad, 634 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 4: whom they still see regularly. They spent last Christmas with 635 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 4: him as JOHNA wanted to work, and apparently we're planning 636 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 4: to spend this Christmas with him too, which brings us 637 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,239 Speaker 4: to the update. Like I'd mentioned, Jna was constantly on 638 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 4: social media, which is how I had known where she 639 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 4: was and what she was doing. I had reached out 640 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 4: to her for support a few times by text, but 641 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,120 Speaker 4: every other time her reply would be about how hard 642 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 4: she was working, how tired she was, and how she 643 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 4: was so broke. Then she'd post on social media about 644 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 4: going to the movies or spending a day with a friend. 645 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 4: And I actually did tell her about the accident, I 646 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 4: just hadn't gone into detail about it, and she'd text 647 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 4: in OHMG back, so there was no way she didn't 648 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 4: know that I was upset or that our friendship hadn't 649 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 4: been the same for the last eight months, and that's 650 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 4: why I was so annoyed when she'd send the cheering 651 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 4: messages as if everything was okay. I also found out 652 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 4: that her cat passed away of kidney stones, and when 653 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 4: I asked, she said he had been showing symptoms for 654 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 4: a while, but she hadn't taken it seriously until the end. 655 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 4: I was really angry about that. I don't think we 656 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 4: need to judge her for a passing of a pet 657 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 4: that I'm sure she's very sad about. 658 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 2: N I'd be mad too. It was like, yeah, I 659 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 2: was clear there's something wrong with your cat. 660 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 3: You just like didn't take it and didn't take it 661 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 3: and didn't take it, and then it's like, oh, nothing 662 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 3: I can do now. 663 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 4: If they were legit symptoms, I guess that one confuses 664 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 4: me because a lot of times cats can be very 665 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 4: just like hiding of their symptoms kind of thing. 666 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, if it was a shock, that's one thing, But. 667 00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 4: I guess maybe that's what I'm picturing, and that was 668 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 4: probably my own personal. 669 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 3: It really really bugs me when people have problems, their 670 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 3: pets have problems, and they're like, yeah, but I just 671 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 3: can't I can't take. 672 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 2: Them to the vet. 673 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, then don't have a pet, right. 674 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: Well, then I guess you gotta do something else. 675 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 4: If you can't afford to help the cat, you shouldn't 676 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 4: have the. 677 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 2: Cat, give it to someone who can take it to 678 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 2: the vet. 679 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 4: In my last message to her, after her rant about 680 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 4: how selfish and self absorbed I was and a disappointment 681 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 4: and disgrace to her spiritual studies, to God, to my mom, 682 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 4: to everyone, I pointed out how I had not once 683 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 4: called her names. I wasn't judging how she lived her life, 684 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 4: and I was calling her out for her lack of 685 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 4: support as a friend. That she couldn't take back what 686 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 4: she had said, and there was no going back on 687 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 4: her friendship. It was over. I unfriended her on social 688 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 4: media and deleted her number and all of her messages. 689 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 4: There's a little bit more. 690 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 2: I think it's just get too I think there's too 691 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 2: many feelings. 692 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think your friend Johnna is mostly just 693 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 3: kind of miserable. You've kind of internalized that as her 694 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 3: being not caring about you and maybe she doesn't because 695 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 3: she's too busy being miserable to care about her friends properly. 696 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,040 Speaker 4: Yesterday, almost two weeks later, she sent me a text 697 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 4: about how God was being so good to her by 698 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 4: taking me out of her life. 699 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 2: Shut up, girl, you. 700 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 3: Let your cat die from Kinney Stones. You're trash that 701 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 3: I am fake. 702 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 4: I am much stupider than she realized. I talk nonsense. 703 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 4: I don't deserve to have her as a friend after 704 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 4: all the good things she's done for me. Anna added 705 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 4: some laughing emoji's. 706 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 2: Yeah she had some boxed wine before she sent that, 707 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 2: for sure. 708 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 4: Just typing it, taking a sip, typing more, taking another sip, 709 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 4: laughing a little bit. 710 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 2: She's just got like the she's just. 711 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 4: Got a hamster thing so she can lick it. 712 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's got I'm not minding. 713 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 4: That for you. It was a vile, ugly little message, 714 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 4: but I'm not mad at her. I feel really sorry 715 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 4: for her. I have now blocked her. I thought you 716 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,400 Speaker 4: already did that, and I do feel sad. I thought 717 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 4: we had a good friendship and that talking things out 718 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 4: would help us both. I guess she didn't feel the 719 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 4: same way. That's the end of that story. 720 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 2: Don't cry over spilt milk. You know what I'm saying. 721 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, let's just get John out of here. Let's find 722 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 4: some cool people that support us and are cool. 723 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 2: They're out there. You know, there's plenty of people out 724 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 2: there who are cool. 725 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 4: And probably also have cats and take them to the vet. 726 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,720 Speaker 2: And would like you for liking cats. 727 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 4: That's the end of that story. Aim, we got another one. 728 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. 729 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. 730 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 3: My friend launched a smear campaign against me, so I 731 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 3: moved abroad. 732 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 4: That just sounds like you're fleeing the country from something. 733 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 3: This happened freshman year of college in twenty eighteen. I 734 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 3: signed up for an early orientation program where I met 735 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 3: a core friend group, including Bailey not. 736 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:36,080 Speaker 2: Her real name. 737 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 3: She introduced herself, explaining this was her second attempt at 738 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 3: freshman year after getting a terrible concussion. By the way, 739 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 3: this comes from user tak a bear one direct from 740 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 3: the r slash Showcase Storytime subreddit. And if you want 741 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 742 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 3: Showcase Storytime subreddit and we're here to give good advice, Goofley, 743 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. 744 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 2: We only have the answers that we would do. 745 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 3: Okay, So if you we have different answers, why don't 746 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 3: you just let us know what they are in the comments? 747 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 3: And Nop says she carried herself with intense and chaotic energy, 748 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 3: sometimes bringing up the vibe with her sense of humor, 749 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 3: but often crossing boundaries. The main issues were all around 750 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 3: her conduct. She'd yell in people's faces, grab them, invade 751 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 3: personal space, share private information, and be extremely loud and obnoxious. 752 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,080 Speaker 3: We'd tell her to stop, which was often. She always 753 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 3: felt terrible and attributed her choices to her concussion, explaining 754 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 3: she sometimes did things she felt she had no control over. 755 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 3: We felt terrible because she was clearly struggling. We started 756 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 3: noticing she'd appear wherever we were hanging out more frequently. 757 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,400 Speaker 3: She was always around. One evening, she pushed a guy 758 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 3: into the street, hard enough that he was nearly injured 759 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 3: by a car. She meant it as a joke. Then 760 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 3: came my incident. I was in my dorm taking a 761 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 3: shower when I heard the bathroom door open. I figured 762 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 3: it was my roommate, My dorm was a suite where 763 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 3: my roommate and I shared a bathroom with two other girls. 764 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 3: Before I knew it, the shower curtain was pushed open 765 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 3: and it was Bailey with her phone out recording me. 766 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 4: What. 767 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: No, that's immediate like snatch and tackle behavior. 768 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 4: That's like called a cops behavior. You're recording me in 769 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 4: the shower. 770 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,479 Speaker 2: Yeah what? I was in utter shock. 771 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 3: She was laughing, thinking it was a hilarious prank, and 772 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 3: I was reacting out of sheer panic. I told her, 773 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 3: please please delete it. Take another one that doesn't show anything. 774 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 3: I was truly scared and didn't know what she was 775 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 3: gonna do with that video. She reluctantly said okay and 776 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 3: took another video while I covered myself. She then left 777 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 3: and I finished the shower in utter shock. Take another 778 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 3: one where I'm covered up. Bro, No, that's like leave 779 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 3: me alone forever. Leave me alone indefinitely. I'll let you 780 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 3: know when you can talk to me again. Give me 781 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,720 Speaker 3: your phone right now, I'm deleting that. Yeah, right, Ala, geez, 782 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 3: give me your phone, or I'm prosecuting you. Well, it's 783 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 3: so violated and embarrassed. My biggest concern was making sure 784 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 3: the footage wouldn't get anywhere. I asked my roommate why 785 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 3: Bailey was in our room, and she told me, oh, 786 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,840 Speaker 3: she said you were expecting her, which she realized immediately 787 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 3: upon hearing me wasn't true. My roommate was appalled. I 788 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,880 Speaker 3: sent Bailey a message later that week. I know I 789 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 3: was playing along in the moment, but I was uncomfortable 790 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 3: with the whole thing, and I politely request that she 791 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,320 Speaker 3: deleted the videos and not share them with anyone. 792 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 4: That's not a politely request situation, Yes, a demand, that's 793 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 4: like an aggressive demand. 794 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 3: Immediately she agreed and apologized. I didn't share the bigger 795 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 3: picture of my feelings or explain why I reacted the 796 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,359 Speaker 3: way I did. You don't really need to explain why 797 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 3: you'd react that way when you're in the shower and 798 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,320 Speaker 3: your privacy is violated while you're being recorded. Yeah, there's 799 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 3: no need to explain that. She walked away, interpreting my 800 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 3: reaction as me thinking it was funny, not as a 801 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,760 Speaker 3: panic response. She thought because I asked for another video 802 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,279 Speaker 3: that it was fine with me. She didn't see any 803 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 3: signs of a bit your issue because I didn't tell 804 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 3: her there was one. I was afraid of the drama, 805 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 3: but I did tell my group of friends and they 806 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,800 Speaker 3: were all supportive. 807 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 2: I took my space from her after that. A week 808 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,959 Speaker 2: or so later, a few girls. 809 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,959 Speaker 3: In the group and I were studying in a hard 810 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 3: to find place in the library when she showed up. 811 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,279 Speaker 3: We were individually studying, so when she sat down, I 812 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 3: said hi, but kept my earbuds in. Suddenly she grabbed 813 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,759 Speaker 3: the cord and pulled the earbud out of my ear abruptly. 814 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,840 Speaker 3: It hurt and startled me. I told her it's not 815 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 3: okay to do that. She got defensive but apologized, and 816 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 3: I could tell she felt bad. It was the same 817 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 3: impulsive behavior she'd always immediately feel remorseful for. 818 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:38,879 Speaker 2: I decided I. 819 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 3: Wasn't going to be friends with her anymore. I didn't 820 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,880 Speaker 3: plan to tell her or confront her. I just wanted 821 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 3: to keep my distance. After Bailey left, the girls and 822 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 3: I started talking. That's when I learned about the pushing 823 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 3: someone into the road situation. The same girl, Sue, told 824 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,680 Speaker 3: me she'd been having even worse issues with Bailey since 825 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 3: my shower incident. 826 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 2: The worst was that Bailey had come up behind Sue 827 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 2: and grabbed her lee by the neck as a joke, 828 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 2: as real joke. Yeah, I mean, and we're talking about someone. 829 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 3: Who has basically TBI, like she had an extreme concussion, 830 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 3: and that can cause behavioral changes. It can cause problems 831 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 3: with impulse control, first chars, all kinds of stuff. 832 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 4: But this is like a as someone who's multiple percussions. 833 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 4: I never wanted to like start inappropriately doing things to 834 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,399 Speaker 4: my friends like this. Yeah. No, I mean, and I'm 835 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,799 Speaker 4: sure it can present itself in different ways, but it's 836 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 4: not an excuse. 837 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 2: It's just a right. It's not like this person is 838 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 2: just like a you know. 839 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 4: There's a potential reason for why the sudden change up, 840 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 4: but like we need to get you. 841 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 2: Don't have control. It's not your job. They now have 842 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 2: to deal with this person. 843 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, we realized all these incidents occurred at times where 844 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 3: she ran into us. How did she know we were there? 845 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,000 Speaker 3: We checked our phones and saw that several of us 846 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 3: had our location shared with her either via Snapchat or 847 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,399 Speaker 3: find my and not one of us recalled sharing our 848 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 3: locations with her. That's crazy. 849 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 4: That's when I'd want to know. Two was that before 850 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 4: or after the concussion. 851 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 3: We would often pass our phones around to share things, 852 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,280 Speaker 3: and figured she must have shared it with herself. People 853 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 3: in the group who had never handed her their phone 854 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,799 Speaker 3: didn't have their location shared, which solidified that theory. It 855 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 3: felt premeditated and unsafe. I had already mentally checked out 856 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 3: of the friendship, so I wanted to unshare my location 857 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 3: and move on. But Sue was very emotionally affected and 858 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,120 Speaker 3: really felt for Bailey. She didn't want to ghost her, 859 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 3: and Bailey could easily show up at events. After a 860 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,319 Speaker 3: few talks, Sue was getting more upset. About a week 861 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 3: after the earbud incident, Sue was preparing to talk with 862 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,239 Speaker 3: Bailey and asked me to be there for the conversation. 863 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 3: This was my fatal mistake. 864 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 2: I agreed. 865 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,760 Speaker 3: The plan was for Sue to talk about what happened 866 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,000 Speaker 3: with her, the street incident and the net grabbing situation, 867 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,400 Speaker 3: and how Sue wants space but still wants to stay 868 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,920 Speaker 3: friends with better boundaries. I didn't want to be friends 869 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,320 Speaker 3: at all, but this wasn't supposed to be about me. 870 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 3: I intended to stay in my supportive but passive role. 871 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 3: We were very concerned about hurting Bailey. We put a 872 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 3: lot of thought into the location, deciding on a gazebo 873 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,760 Speaker 3: in the quad private enough, but public enough to prevent 874 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 3: a big scene. The plan was I was there for 875 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,160 Speaker 3: moral support while Sue would do all the talking. Despite 876 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 3: our care, the outcome didn't reflect that at all. Leading 877 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,760 Speaker 3: up to the talk, Sue was sick with a terrible 878 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 3: sinus cough and had been carrying around rolls of toilet 879 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,879 Speaker 3: paper to use his tissues. Right away, we could tell 880 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,399 Speaker 3: Bailey was not happy. 881 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 2: To be there. 882 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 3: Sue started sharing about the incidents, and we saw tears 883 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 3: well up in Bailey's eyes. When the conversation became about 884 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,560 Speaker 3: boundaries in space, it all took a turn for the worse. 885 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 3: Sue had been getting more worked up, which impacted her sinuses, 886 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 3: causing her to cough and blow her nose frequently. When 887 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,399 Speaker 3: she saw Bailey's tears, she quickly handed her the roll 888 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 3: of toilet paper. As Sue got more emotional, Bailey started 889 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 3: shifting from defensive to offensive. Sue was now basically unable 890 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 3: to speak between the emotion and the sinuses, Bailey started 891 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,280 Speaker 3: directing her attention and words to me. No longer the passive, 892 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 3: supportive friend, I was trying to share what Sue had discussed, 893 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 3: defending her, giving empathy to Bailey, but it was hard 894 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 3: to speak for someone else and not bring up my 895 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,719 Speaker 3: own experience. Eventually, I had to be the one to 896 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 3: say that because of everything, it made sense for there to. 897 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 2: Be some space. 898 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,279 Speaker 3: I tried to emphasize this level of drama and intensity 899 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 3: was just too much. At this point, Bailey was devastated 900 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,400 Speaker 3: and fuming. She basically said, so, you basically planned this 901 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 3: all out so that you could humiliate me here in 902 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 3: the center of campus, anticipating how sad I'd be that 903 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,920 Speaker 3: you brought toilet paper from me when I cried, knowing 904 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,760 Speaker 3: that I'd have to walk of shame somewhere after basically 905 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,240 Speaker 3: being dumped by all my friends. 906 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 2: Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. 907 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I could also understand though, and not to keep 908 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 4: defending her with the whole like, but she sound concussion, 909 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 4: that that is such an influx of emotions for when 910 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 4: you have it, like anytime that I've had a concussion. 911 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 4: My biggest thing is that I can't control my emotions 912 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,840 Speaker 4: as much, like things will upset me really quickly. 913 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,400 Speaker 6: Really, what nothing? 914 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,480 Speaker 2: What what you gotta say back there? Boyfriend? 915 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 3: I love you, to be clear, I think the meanest 916 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 3: thing they could have done here was to just ghost 917 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 3: you and never speak to you again. 918 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 2: But that's one that's a different thing. 919 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 4: Having a conversation. This is like needed to happen. And 920 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,480 Speaker 4: I don't agree that you guys are like being awful 921 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 4: to her. I'm just saying I do think that that's 922 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 4: why she's reacting this way. Yeah, and again, we can't 923 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,520 Speaker 4: keep like you can't just keep dealing with that. 924 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 2: She's got a concussy. She's gonna be fussy. I was stunned. 925 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 3: Everything we planned backfired. Not only did she hate what 926 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 3: we said, she hated how we said it. She interpreted 927 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 3: everything we did as extra cruel, which was the opposite 928 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,160 Speaker 3: of what we intended. I saw her perspective right away 929 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:45,719 Speaker 3: and instantly regretted those choices. We truly had no bad intentions, 930 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 3: but the result was hurtful. However, an even more unanticipated 931 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,720 Speaker 3: outcome was that somehow I became the aggressor and villain 932 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 3: in the story. Bailey left feeling victimized by us, but 933 00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 3: specifically me. For some reason, Bailee, she didn't hold a 934 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 3: grudge against Sue or anyone. 935 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 4: Else because you didn't cry. I guess so thanks, probably 936 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,359 Speaker 4: because there was like you were the no. I don't 937 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,840 Speaker 4: want to say harshest one, but maybe most stone faced, 938 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,520 Speaker 4: like angry, front about it kind of thing. And I 939 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,200 Speaker 4: think you should be like someone like I'm a crier. 940 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 4: Someone's gotta someone's gotta not cry, or you just gotta 941 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 4: do it through two something. 942 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 2: Every group needs a non crier. 943 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 4: Are you implying that to you? No? 944 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,320 Speaker 2: I cry Anyway. 945 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,279 Speaker 3: Bailey went on to tell everybody about this story, not 946 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,840 Speaker 3: just about her version of our talk and how I 947 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,000 Speaker 3: intentionally publicly humiliated her, but everything that led up to 948 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:37,600 Speaker 3: this between she and I, except it wasn't reality. 949 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,560 Speaker 2: It was her skewed version. 950 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 1: Huh. 951 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,600 Speaker 3: She told people about the shower incident and how I 952 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,279 Speaker 3: actively went out of my way to tell people that 953 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 3: she did this horrible thing she didn't do, and then 954 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 3: showed them the video of me asking her to take 955 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 3: another video as her evidence. So not only did I 956 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,040 Speaker 3: learn she lied and clearly did not delete the videos, 957 00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,160 Speaker 3: but also that my nightmare of the videos being shown 958 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,880 Speaker 3: around was coming true. Because I didn't gossip about this 959 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 3: or tell a lot of people, really only the people 960 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,319 Speaker 3: in the group, no one would have reason to not 961 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 3: believe her. She painted me as a mean spirited conspirator 962 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,759 Speaker 3: that created this fake story. I tried to move on 963 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,040 Speaker 3: and let it go, and I felt guilty for how 964 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,960 Speaker 3: badly we had hurt Bailey. When it came up, I 965 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,759 Speaker 3: told the truth and the whole truth. I owned my 966 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 3: mistakes and the timeline of events. But the problem arose 967 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,239 Speaker 3: when people stopped asking me. Throughout the next year and 968 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,960 Speaker 3: a half, I'd make friends that would later ghost me. 969 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,799 Speaker 3: I realized Bailey had been telling people this story and 970 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,480 Speaker 3: making me out to be a crazy liar, despite the 971 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 3: fact that all my friends from the time of the 972 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,239 Speaker 3: shower incident stood by my side. In a stroke of 973 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,040 Speaker 3: luck or misfortune, Bailey and I were on the same 974 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:48,400 Speaker 3: summer internship program abroad and were also roommates. Believe it 975 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,359 Speaker 3: or not, Bailey and I made peace. I was even 976 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,719 Speaker 3: able to explain and apologize to her for the conversation. 977 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,439 Speaker 3: She accepted, and we were friendly and things were fine, or. 978 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:02,239 Speaker 2: So I thought exactly. Dude, she just was conspiring. Why 979 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,240 Speaker 2: would you make peace? 980 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,239 Speaker 4: How long ago was this concussion? 981 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,239 Speaker 3: I don't know, But why would you make peace with 982 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 3: the person who did this to you and then should 983 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 3: trust them? 984 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:15,880 Speaker 4: I mean, sometimes the personality changes can like completely revert 985 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 4: back and she could just be normal Bailey again. But 986 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,600 Speaker 4: sometimes they don't, So I don't know that I'd be 987 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 4: so easily trusted without like a giant apology. 988 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 2: And you could, I think, and even then prosecute her 989 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 2: for that video that she's shown on a bunch of people. 990 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, does she still have those? 991 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 2: Despite this? 992 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 3: Bailey's new best friend forever, Amaya, also a fake name, 993 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 3: who was in our apartment, had made it her personal 994 00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:42,960 Speaker 3: mission to save anyone from me, and Bailey wasn't interested 995 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 3: in stopping her. Harry, another fake name, was my close 996 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 3: friend who joined the group in the semester. After all 997 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,160 Speaker 3: this drama, somewhere Maya got to Harry and changed his 998 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,480 Speaker 3: mind about me like a complete one eighty. Harry had 999 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,279 Speaker 3: even been on a pre program trip with Sue. He 1000 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 3: was connected to people who caroborated my story, but it 1001 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,600 Speaker 3: didn't matter. Maya was convincing, and Bailey's showing him the 1002 00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,400 Speaker 3: videos sealed my fate. Yes, she still had them. A 1003 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 3: year later, he became friends with them and stopped talking 1004 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 3: to me. I went back to school for one final 1005 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:18,239 Speaker 3: semester before I'd move abroad and transfer. I thought this 1006 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 3: drama would have blown over. Sadly, that's not what happened. 1007 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,000 Speaker 3: Maya moved on to another abroad program in Spain, which 1008 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,400 Speaker 3: happened to be the same program as my best friend, 1009 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 3: who wasn't in this group. It took two weeks and 1010 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,879 Speaker 3: I never heard from her again. I tried to beach 1011 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,800 Speaker 3: out many times, but Maya convinced her I was evil. 1012 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,880 Speaker 3: My friend never asked me for my side, and I 1013 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,719 Speaker 3: never got the chance to tell her, which means she 1014 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,440 Speaker 3: wasn't your friend. You thought this person was your best friend, 1015 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 3: but she wasn't, was not or doesn't even have the 1016 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 3: sense to ask you for your side of the story, 1017 00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:49,400 Speaker 3: which means you're better off not having that person as 1018 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:49,719 Speaker 3: a friend. 1019 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:50,640 Speaker 2: Is there a moron? 1020 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,600 Speaker 4: Friends? Check in about it. 1021 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,360 Speaker 3: No one would come to me for my side because 1022 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,040 Speaker 3: they were convinced I was a liar. Part of why 1023 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:00,280 Speaker 3: I moved away and left that school was because because 1024 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:04,120 Speaker 3: those two girls were actively coming after me. Most people 1025 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,840 Speaker 3: didn't care, But for the ones that did, especially the 1026 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,839 Speaker 3: close friends I lost, it was very painful. The most 1027 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,960 Speaker 3: frustrating part was that I was fully willing to own 1028 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 3: my mistakes, but no one would give me the chance. 1029 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:17,719 Speaker 2: But there's a little bit left to this one. Let's 1030 00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:18,359 Speaker 2: finish it off. 1031 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But 1032 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,440 Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1033 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,600 Speaker 3: People were hung up on the video and how it 1034 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 3: looked when I asked her to take another one. How 1035 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,160 Speaker 3: were they not hung up on the fact that she 1036 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,439 Speaker 3: just like busted into your bathroom and took a video 1037 00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,680 Speaker 3: of you showering. That's insane. 1038 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,319 Speaker 4: Yeah, why did you have her? Why did she have 1039 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 4: her take another one? 1040 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,719 Speaker 3: Because she was like just so like like dumbfound and 1041 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,000 Speaker 3: she's like, oh, I don't know, Uh, I guess I 1042 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 3: just I'd take another one where I'm not where I'm 1043 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:53,799 Speaker 3: covered up, and then that's okay, you're freak and we're 1044 00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:54,839 Speaker 3: in you know, Uni. 1045 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe she hasn't learned their confrontation skills yet. 1046 00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't interpret that as a plea for self 1047 00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,280 Speaker 3: preservation or my reaction is fear. They also didn't question 1048 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,480 Speaker 3: why they were watching a video of someone in the 1049 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,400 Speaker 3: shower who was begging for it to be deleted. 1050 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 2: But in the moment, all I knew was. 1051 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,759 Speaker 3: Someone was in my shower pointing a camera at me. 1052 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,719 Speaker 3: Do that I would become a fairal beast. I would 1053 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,839 Speaker 3: grab that phone and be like, what is wrong with you? 1054 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,280 Speaker 3: We're gonna delete this together? 1055 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would. 1056 00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:26,000 Speaker 3: I would have my elbow pressed on that person immediately. 1057 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,959 Speaker 3: I'm like, this is now, You've induced fight or flight 1058 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,400 Speaker 3: in me, and I'm fighting. I reacted out of panic 1059 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 3: the best I could, and that's the truth. 1060 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:35,000 Speaker 2: Fast forward. 1061 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,280 Speaker 3: I successfully moved to the country from my abroad program, 1062 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,880 Speaker 3: finished school there and started a successful career, got married, 1063 00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:42,920 Speaker 3: and have two dogs. 1064 00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,560 Speaker 2: So all as well for me. 1065 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,799 Speaker 3: Not really in need of advice since this was so 1066 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,560 Speaker 3: long in the past, but definitely curious if anyone else 1067 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,840 Speaker 3: went through something similar or sees it differently. 1068 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,640 Speaker 4: I think you have a unique experience there. I know. 1069 00:46:55,800 --> 00:47:00,600 Speaker 2: I think that what you did was fine and friends suck. 1070 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:01,440 Speaker 2: I hope that you. 1071 00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,440 Speaker 3: Learned the lesson of maybe being a little more aggressive 1072 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 3: about stuff. 1073 00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you were panicking. It's all right. 1074 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,480 Speaker 3: We can we can get we can get mad at people. 1075 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,040 Speaker 3: We can demand people do things when they are so 1076 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:14,040 Speaker 3: far out of line. 1077 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:14,399 Speaker 4: Yep. 1078 00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,080 Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story and the 1079 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:17,840 Speaker 2: end of this episode. 1080 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:18,279 Speaker 6: No, it's not. 1081 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:18,799 Speaker 2: Oh right. 1082 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:23,359 Speaker 5: We have commands moments, we have the big comments from. 1083 00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 4: The video my in laws accused me of poisoning my 1084 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,439 Speaker 4: husband to steal my son's inheritance, posted on December fourth, 1085 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,600 Speaker 4: twenty twenty five and Tilder. This is story one. Opie 1086 00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,319 Speaker 4: lost her husband suddenly, and while she was grieving and 1087 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,200 Speaker 4: caring for their baby, her in laws turned on her. 1088 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,640 Speaker 4: They said she wasn't really his wife, tried to erase 1089 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 4: her from the funeral, took his things, kept his car 1090 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,360 Speaker 4: and dog, belocked her from his phone, and even spread 1091 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,239 Speaker 4: lies that she poisoned him. When Opie proved she was 1092 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,520 Speaker 4: his wife and her baby was his child, her mother 1093 00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,360 Speaker 4: in law still refused to stop and is now dragging 1094 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 4: OPI through court while demanding s settlement. Opie is fighting 1095 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,920 Speaker 4: to protect her son, her home, and her husband's memory, 1096 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,960 Speaker 4: but the drama keeps getting worse. If you're curious to 1097 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,920 Speaker 4: know the full story, go watch the full video. 1098 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:13,760 Speaker 6: I do not recall this one. 1099 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,080 Speaker 4: I sound I think I do. 1100 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,680 Speaker 2: Big old hot mess, that's for sure. 1101 00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 6: Well, we have some comments here, comment number one by 1102 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,080 Speaker 6: else Davidson thirty four fifty four. So many parts of 1103 00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,440 Speaker 6: his story. I feel like she should have sued from 1104 00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,839 Speaker 6: multiple things these people did. I mean sounds like it. 1105 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 6: That sounds crazy. It sounds like a TV show. 1106 00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:35,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's wild. 1107 00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:39,800 Speaker 2: It certainly is not a the optimal situation. 1108 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,960 Speaker 4: I think that they did sue in this story. I 1109 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,000 Speaker 4: think there's a giant like everybody sued everybody. I would 1110 00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:47,719 Speaker 4: or they at least had to go like a legal 1111 00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:48,759 Speaker 4: route to get things back. 1112 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,680 Speaker 6: Well. We had another comment here by a Kissable star 1113 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,719 Speaker 6: as someone who has experienced immeasurable amounts of loss, I 1114 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,680 Speaker 6: lost my entire family before I hit h thirty five. Wow, 1115 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,960 Speaker 6: people do disgusting things when someone passes away. I started 1116 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,840 Speaker 6: losing people at age twelve. I lost aunts, uncles, grandparents' parents, 1117 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 6: and my only sibling, all before I was even done 1118 00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,960 Speaker 6: having kids. I have multiple horror stories from each and 1119 00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,560 Speaker 6: every single one. People want to be perceived as the 1120 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,399 Speaker 6: most hurt and the priority of the person who passed away, 1121 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,480 Speaker 6: or they want to be in charge and they want 1122 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,960 Speaker 6: to take everything they can. This exact story happened to 1123 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,839 Speaker 6: me in reverse. I was my siblings next of kin, 1124 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:25,919 Speaker 6: but the ex wanted to be in charge and even 1125 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,319 Speaker 6: tried saying they were married, but they weren't. I now 1126 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,560 Speaker 6: do not speak to them because of it. Kissible Star, 1127 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:32,439 Speaker 6: you deserve a hug. 1128 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,040 Speaker 2: Yeahah, that's really messed up. 1129 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:34,239 Speaker 3: Hug. 1130 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,840 Speaker 6: We have another comment here by Rachel zero four twenty. 1131 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,759 Speaker 6: Paying thirty thousand dollars for a funeral is the stupidest 1132 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,080 Speaker 6: crap I've ever heard. Other than that, I feel very 1133 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,520 Speaker 6: bad for the wife slash Opie, but she's a more 1134 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,320 Speaker 6: on for letting the funeral costs get out of control? 1135 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,760 Speaker 6: Was it thirty thousand dollars for a funeral? 1136 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,319 Speaker 2: I don't know what normal funeral costs are. 1137 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:54,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't let us know. 1138 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,160 Speaker 2: How much does it cost dig a hole in my backyard? 1139 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,120 Speaker 4: Well? I think it depends too. It's gonna be like 1140 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,239 Speaker 4: how fancy the casket is. 1141 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,160 Speaker 6: And we have one final comment here by Shortness Fairy saying, 1142 00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:07,520 Speaker 6: not only did the husband's family not pay a dime 1143 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:11,160 Speaker 6: for their sons slash brother's funeral, but they're taking things 1144 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,760 Speaker 6: from the white Yeah, they just sound like villains. 1145 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:18,080 Speaker 4: Awful people. Yeah, it's sad that people sometimes use a 1146 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,400 Speaker 4: sad moment to just become the worst people. 1147 00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:26,279 Speaker 3: Ever, to just become little demonic people, little demon greetious. 1148 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:30,640 Speaker 4: And they actually do that exact thing, and that's how 1149 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:30,960 Speaker 4: you know. 1150 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:32,600 Speaker 2: That's how they talk. 1151 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, so how they talk to each other, talk to me, 1152 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,319 Speaker 3: talk to Miss Stacey. 1153 00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:42,640 Speaker 4: That's the end. That's those comments. 1154 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:43,800 Speaker 2: And that's the end of that episode. 1155 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,480 Speaker 3: So if you love us, make sure you subscribe We 1156 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,320 Speaker 3: love you, and see it tomorrow