Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome
Speaker 2: to another episode of Call It What It Is. You
Speaker 2: know what, I just realized the pause was for a reason.
Speaker 2: This is our first episode together in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: I thought it as I said hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like, wait.
Speaker 1: Welcome twenty twenty five. You twenty twenty five. It kind
Speaker 1: of a dick.
Speaker 2: You've feel a huge dick, dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you've made uh like very hard and sad
Speaker 1: and challenging and scary.
Speaker 2: Yeah we should have joined. Okay, so here here, here's
Speaker 2: the real deal. You guys. We always plan an episode
Speaker 2: just and I get into it and we figure out
Speaker 2: a fun subject and we reach out to you. We
Speaker 2: reach out to you guys, and we plan these episodes
Speaker 2: and we get so excited and so we do have
Speaker 2: an episode that we are going to do. We are
Speaker 2: going to do the episode we plan today. However, twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five did a derailing of a lot of people's lives,
Speaker 2: and so we're going to derail the top of this
Speaker 2: episode to talk just.
Speaker 1: Talking about what's been going on.
Speaker 2: So for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we
Speaker 2: have been dealing. We haven't been watching the news or
Speaker 2: haven't yeah, have had the TV off. We've been dealing
Speaker 2: with fires, active fires that are still active right now.
Speaker 2: In fact, I my house as I'm talking right now,
Speaker 2: is still under a an evacuation warning. The block over
Speaker 2: is a mandatory evacuation. They can't even come go home
Speaker 2: right now. So let's talk about sort of what happened.
Speaker 2: Just you were in New York, but you have family here.
Speaker 2: Your community was the Palisades, which is an area that
Speaker 2: was severely affected. You want to talk a little bit
Speaker 2: about that. Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1: As these things are.
Speaker 3: It's sick.
Speaker 1: You remember the day before, so many people that I
Speaker 1: do business with are in Los Angeles. It's the beginning
Speaker 1: of the new year. Obviously, there's so many phone calls
Speaker 1: where you're just you know, checking in, here's the beginning
Speaker 1: of the new year. Here's what's happening. And it was all,
Speaker 1: you know, invigorated, and people were excited to get back
Speaker 1: to work and everything else. And then as I remember it,
Speaker 1: it was like the whisperings of like, hey, there's this
Speaker 1: fire that's happening, and then it was I think physically
Speaker 1: in person, and then obviously word of mouth, and then
Speaker 1: the way that things came in through the news. It
Speaker 1: went from like there's a little fire to there is
Speaker 1: a fire raging and and taking down everything in its path,
Speaker 1: and very quickly because of what comes every single year,
Speaker 1: which is the Santa Ana wins, and they are very
Speaker 1: very fast winds that pick up any little thing. So
Speaker 1: in this case, it picked up all the embers and
Speaker 1: took them through a large, large, large amount of space,
Speaker 1: densely populated, and there were multiple fires. The fire that
Speaker 1: was in the area that I spent my high school years.
Speaker 2: And then you know, yeah, I remember sending Jess last
Speaker 2: week a list of places in the Palisades, which I
Speaker 2: wasn't familiar with. That's a little far from me. But
Speaker 2: actually when we had done the jingle ball, I had
Speaker 2: stayed with you at your family's house and the Palisades
Speaker 2: and we sort of like ventured around, but I'd sent
Speaker 2: you a list of places that I knew had gone
Speaker 2: within I mean, I want to say, within twenty four hours,
Speaker 2: and you were like, wow, these are these are all
Speaker 2: the places that I took my kids to this was
Speaker 2: my life when I lived in Los Angeles, and this
Speaker 2: area's gone right.
Speaker 1: Which I had a very very strange relationship with because
Speaker 1: I this is so not about me, and I was
Speaker 1: far away and I was getting this information, and I
Speaker 1: was very mindful and clear that the only thing that
Speaker 1: mattered in these initial moments was life and those who
Speaker 1: were in peril, getting people out of the way and
Speaker 1: containing it. Because it was so clear how devastating it
Speaker 1: was and how quickly it was taking things down, and
Speaker 1: because so many of my friends and loved ones are
Speaker 1: still there, I then again not understanding because you also
Speaker 1: have to remember, I can't tell you how many times
Speaker 1: I evacuated my house from when I was fifteen, from
Speaker 1: when I was you know, twenty, my whole life, you've
Speaker 1: evacuated because you're near the canyons and that's where the
Speaker 1: fires come, and they it just it was nothing unfamiliar.
Speaker 1: But what was unfamiliar was then how quickly I was
Speaker 1: being sent videos from friends of completely destroyed, like everything
Speaker 1: was flattened. There was not there wasn't anything. And one
Speaker 1: particular video I got had you couldn't tell where you
Speaker 1: were where it was being taken from and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, you see this corner and I saw
Speaker 1: this small white brick like kind of pony wall that
Speaker 1: wrapped around this corner, because again I couldn't figure out
Speaker 1: which street they were videoing, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I know where I am. That's the white brick pony
Speaker 1: wall that my kids would stand on top of and
Speaker 1: foot over foot. They would use the way that kids
Speaker 1: do walk the balance beam and we would go to
Speaker 1: Beach Street Peace and then we'd grab frozen yogurt at
Speaker 1: the yogurt shop, and yeah, everything was gone. It was
Speaker 1: completely completely gone.
Speaker 2: I do not live in the Palisades, but I think,
Speaker 2: you know, we, like Jessica said, we've had fires here before.
Speaker 2: I've never had to evacuate. I've never had an evacuation
Speaker 2: warning or anything. And I think you you always feel like, Okay,
Speaker 2: at some point it's sort of out of the way
Speaker 2: and it's going to be contained, and it's they're going
Speaker 2: to send out these warnings, but they'll figure it'll be
Speaker 2: figured out. And I think that it happened so fast
Speaker 2: and there was so much destruction so quick.
Speaker 1: You're making me think of talking to friends who on
Speaker 1: the day because it was happening so fast, got the
Speaker 1: faatall from a school in the palasaids saying come pick up,
Speaker 1: you know if you got to go, and the the
Speaker 1: the deluge of people in that state of mind trying
Speaker 1: to get their children and then oh.
Speaker 2: You mean just grab their children from taking their children
Speaker 2: up to get them out, and then just just like
Speaker 2: the orderliness.
Speaker 1: Of it or lack thereof. And then I know many
Speaker 1: people who once they got their kids, got onto sunset
Speaker 1: and there was fire all around and they actually had
Speaker 1: to make the decision to pull their car over and
Speaker 1: get out of the car. And there were people running
Speaker 1: in the streets and they were running down towards the
Speaker 1: water and then to phs further and then back up
Speaker 1: to their homes if they were not in the evacuation zone.
Speaker 1: I mean it just listen. These these kinds of situations
Speaker 1: are just horrific. They're your worst nightmare. And and not
Speaker 1: being there and hearing about it, but knowing so specifically
Speaker 1: the places that this was all happening, Yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was it. And again, like I said, not about me,
Speaker 1: not about me or my feelings about it at all.
Speaker 1: All I cared about was how is this being contained,
Speaker 1: How are people safe and what are they going to
Speaker 1: do now? And I and it seems like that's what
Speaker 1: people are focusing on right now, is like what are
Speaker 1: the next best steps? Because the entirety of it is insane.
Speaker 1: And then you saw what was happening on social media
Speaker 1: and people were posting things and it just you.
Speaker 2: Know, I also feel like what people that don't live
Speaker 2: here maybe don't know is that it wasn't just one
Speaker 2: fire too. What was happening was fires were picking up
Speaker 2: over in Pasadena, which is really far from the Palisades.
Speaker 1: And then the.
Speaker 2: Eaton, I mean it was written there are so many
Speaker 2: different fires everywhere, and it traveled so fast in those
Speaker 2: winds that it was not a lot of time before
Speaker 2: we saw it the smoke up on the hills. I
Speaker 2: could see the flames, and then we all got the
Speaker 2: notices and we had to go. And in that situation,
Speaker 2: also I realized I'm absolutely fucking terrible in an emergency.
Speaker 2: First Off, I'm not someone that wants to leave. I
Speaker 2: don't want to leave. I was, but I was happy
Speaker 2: to be home because you would need.
Speaker 1: Me in this situation.
Speaker 2: But I need you. Let's go. We are leaving no
Speaker 2: that's what Matt was like. We got the notice and
Speaker 2: he was like, we're gone. We're going right now.
Speaker 1: Also, growing up in LA maybe it just got ingrained.
Speaker 1: Not growing up, I grew up everywhere, but having gone
Speaker 1: to high school in Los Angeles, it was ingrained in me.
Speaker 1: Like I knew where you always had a double bag.
Speaker 1: That was the earthquakes and fires. You just were ready
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, though, I did think about this. Earthquakes, yes,
Speaker 2: but in an earthquake situation, we have like a closet
Speaker 2: full of stuff. But I don't have anything in my car.
Speaker 2: I did not have a bag packed. I packed some
Speaker 2: somewhat of a bag very very fast. I grabed shit
Speaker 2: that didn't freaking matter. I grabbed a fing curling iron,
Speaker 2: no deodorant, no bra. But I don't know what. It's
Speaker 2: like a salon where I'm going. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not thinking, you're not thinking straight. No one's
Speaker 1: thinking straight.
Speaker 2: No, no, And now I'm they don't feel out of
Speaker 2: it is the truth. Because we have the warning. Still,
Speaker 2: I'm taking my dogs everywhere with me because people got
Speaker 2: the evacuation. If you get a mandatory evacuation, we're in
Speaker 2: a warning. Right now, you can't get back into your
Speaker 2: house if your pets are there. They won't let you
Speaker 2: go into your home. It's too dangerous. So the dogs
Speaker 2: are with me everywhere. I mean, I have like five
Speaker 2: dogs on my lap drive.
Speaker 1: Wait, let's talk about these unbelievable I already have just
Speaker 1: a resting, static, deep admiration for firefighters.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But in these situations, they are superheroes. To me, they
Speaker 1: are superheroes, and it's all been documented. My feeling that
Speaker 1: they are superheroes is absolutely true. I've seen it on film,
Speaker 1: I've seen it in stills. I mean, what these women
Speaker 1: and men are doing to help save people from these
Speaker 1: fires is absolutely herculean. It is superhero shit. And I
Speaker 1: mean I just honestly it makes it. It makes me
Speaker 1: feel really emotional. I know it made me.
Speaker 2: It is amazing. And also I have to shout out.
Speaker 2: Canada and Mexico sent help. I saw the I could
Speaker 2: see from our uh from upstairs, from our bedroom, I
Speaker 2: could see the Canadian super Scoopers, which I had never
Speaker 2: heard of before. And there are these huge planes that
Speaker 2: were going and scooping water from Santa Monica and the
Speaker 2: ocean and bringing it back to the valley and it
Speaker 2: felt like it felt like miracle had arrived, like it
Speaker 2: felt it just and and and it's not over. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's still happening. They're still fighting what needs to be bought.
Speaker 2: We still have winds.
Speaker 1: Well, we have lots of resources that were lucky to
Speaker 1: pull together.
Speaker 2: Yes, please go to our call at what it is Instagram.
Speaker 2: We are going to be putting links to.
Speaker 1: Many different organizations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, different resources at are helping with all the different
Speaker 2: things that people need to be helped with right now.
Speaker 2: And so please go check it out. Yeah, and anything
Speaker 2: any little amount can can help go a long way
Speaker 2: at this point.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I also, I mean personally, just to throw this
Speaker 1: out there, I have multiple friends who have personal friends
Speaker 1: that have forwarded me their go fund me pages. I
Speaker 1: think that when you when you actually know a person
Speaker 1: that knows the person, it gives me great comfort to
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be getting to the right place.
Speaker 1: And I think that there's just there's no too small amount.
Speaker 1: It's it's really just about all coming together and giving
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you can.
Speaker 2: And I have to say that's about Los Angeles. I've
Speaker 2: always felt like the city was super magical, and I
Speaker 2: did not grow up here in it. I felt like
Speaker 2: very welcomed by this city and the community across the
Speaker 2: entire city has come together. There's so much I know,
Speaker 2: it sounds so like cheesy le lab and it feels
Speaker 2: there's so much love happening right now in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: that I don't know. I just had to say that
Speaker 2: because I'm proud of the city.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: With that being said, Yes, I We've done an episode
Speaker 1: where we were just I mean, lots of stuff comes
Speaker 1: up about parenting and we were talking and I was
Speaker 1: kind of like, Okay, we can talk about how our
Speaker 1: kids drive us nuts or the things that the kids
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Do, which we've done. We've yeah, we've done yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, You've been very I've brought my full authentic.
Speaker 2: Self to those conversations. Yeah. I probably there's probably my
Speaker 2: Polly shouldn't have said, but I've said it, and the
Speaker 2: okay you it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay, And it just made me wonder, Mmmm.
Speaker 2: That's the possible.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: Oh is that the first of twenty five the first?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I wonder back guys, we're back.
Speaker 1: Wonder I wonder what our kids would say drives them
Speaker 1: nuts about us because I can hear it, and if
Speaker 1: I can, if I can say.
Speaker 2: Stop.
Speaker 1: Rude, rude, you should just be grateful.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna edit this down in like two minutes. You're
Speaker 2: welcome giving you life there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because listen, I think parents can drive kids crazy too.
Speaker 1: We see it all the time. And I've been honest,
Speaker 1: there's also some parents that can drive me crazy when
Speaker 1: I watch them parenting their.
Speaker 2: Kids, and if you know, stop it. But if you
Speaker 2: listen to this pod, you know that Martin Leunnington and
Speaker 2: still drives me crazy. And I am four.
Speaker 1: I sometimes do the awful thing where You'll be in
Speaker 1: a restaurant and I'll be like an infant and it'll
Speaker 1: be crying and crying and crying and crying, and part
Speaker 1: of me really just wants to be like, just give
Speaker 1: me the baby, Just give me the baby. Y, do
Speaker 1: you have a baby, I'm going to help you out here,
Speaker 1: or I kind of want to say, like the baby's hungry,
Speaker 1: just give the baby, give the baby.
Speaker 2: I would love to see that happen, just see I
Speaker 2: would start recording that, like you know what go do that?
Speaker 1: Can you imagine I don't know what response I would get.
Speaker 2: No, I wont you of your advice. Back in one
Speaker 2: of our early episodes, I don't know why, when you
Speaker 2: were like, we're like, how do you meet people? And
Speaker 2: you're like, go to the movie theater and strike up
Speaker 2: a conversation, Like why don't you do that, Jess?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you think it's not a good idea to
Speaker 1: take someone's baby and feed.
Speaker 2: Them without no. No, So like, next time we're together,
Speaker 2: why don't you be like just go feed them?
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, your baby's hung or your mayby's tired, your baby's.
Speaker 2: Tired, you should definitely vocally give advice like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, but here's the thing. Parents drive kids crazy, right,
Speaker 1: they're constantly nagging, or they're telling you what to do,
Speaker 1: or maybe they're not listening to the kid's opinions. Maybe
Speaker 1: they're comparing their kids to other kids, or they're being
Speaker 1: overprotective I get that one, or not respecting their privacy,
Speaker 1: not growing with them into their next maturity level and
Speaker 1: letting them kind of like bigger up right, or giving
Speaker 1: unsolicited advice. And as we know, this can carry on
Speaker 1: into your forties. I've spoken about the suggestion box and
Speaker 1: when it's been open to my parents being overly controlling
Speaker 1: or feeling to see their kids for who they are
Speaker 1: or wanting them to be different, and so I, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sort of curious about, you know, the kids. How
Speaker 1: do the kids feel? How do the kids feel about
Speaker 1: the parents I have recently?
Speaker 2: I think I don't know if it's doctor Becky there, somebody,
Speaker 2: I mean, what we a Lisa Pressman. We need to
Speaker 2: have all the parents.
Speaker 1: I want them to so much.
Speaker 2: I did ask the kids. I've asked them a couple
Speaker 2: of times now, and I felt like I was doing
Speaker 2: such a good parenting job and I was like, you guys, yeah.
Speaker 1: You are, you are whatever it was, you are whatever?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, you know. I was like, you guys, it's
Speaker 2: time for mom and dad feedback.
Speaker 1: Why don't you just let us know you send this
Speaker 1: to your kids?
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, let us know how we can improve.
Speaker 2: And it was like such a bullshitty response. I'm asking
Speaker 2: like four and seven year olds.
Speaker 1: They're like, I feel like Hayden probably had like a
Speaker 1: list ready to go, and Lucas was kind of what.
Speaker 2: It was all bullshit. It was all like, let us
Speaker 2: stay up later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I want candy for bread, and I was like,
Speaker 1: never mind, yeah, yeah, we're not ready for this. Nope, no,
Speaker 1: I know what, I'm just kidding. I take it back.
Speaker 1: I don't want your feedback. Okay, was there anything that
Speaker 1: your parents drove did that drove you crazy when you.
Speaker 2: Were kidding me?
Speaker 1: Are you a million things again? Martin Lueddington, I forgot.
Speaker 2: Oh, the luds. The luds, I mean, you know, tweets
Speaker 2: their own. I mean, it's it's much easier. My mom
Speaker 2: have four kids. You have four kids. You know what
Speaker 2: it's like, she have four kids, I would have lost
Speaker 2: my mind. And my parents regularly, uh lost their shit,
Speaker 2: you know, like it was. You know, we were annoying
Speaker 2: and we had a small we were in close quarterers
Speaker 2: with them. And I think one of the most annoying
Speaker 2: things though, is my dad Martin luds. He does tend
Speaker 2: to think that he is an expert and he's always
Speaker 2: been this way on everything. Yeah, that he's had, Like
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter what job, like coding, you I mean,
Speaker 2: like he would know how to code. He has, no,
Speaker 2: he can't even I don't even know if he knows
Speaker 2: how to turn all laptop at this point. But if
Speaker 2: I got into coding, he would know the better way
Speaker 2: to code. And he's been like that since I was little.
Speaker 2: So even when I was like little taking acting.
Speaker 1: Classes, he was doing scene study with you.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. Yes he would. I would like do
Speaker 2: a little like monologue or whatever. And now I'm young,
Speaker 2: like twelve, and he'd like, kime, let me just have
Speaker 2: a go of this. And you think I'm lying, You
Speaker 2: think I'm just like making this a good story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And his well, he always tells me he's taking on
Speaker 2: a character in Little Women. Yeah, he's like Joe Moot,
Speaker 2: hand it over. He tells me that he was in
Speaker 2: one fucking play back in high school and it was
Speaker 2: like some Shakespeare thing and that was his moment. And
Speaker 2: I don't know, and so he knows better. And so
Speaker 2: the advice, the advice part of the know it all
Speaker 2: advice part was really irritating. What about you growing up? Like,
Speaker 2: what was the thing?
Speaker 1: Same theme, It's the same theme. It's the unsolicited advice.
Speaker 1: It's the lecturing, Like even when they're so well meaning
Speaker 1: and mine all are, you know, like, even when they
Speaker 1: really are just doing it for your benefit, it still
Speaker 1: feels like a lecture when you're a teenager. And then
Speaker 1: I think, because this is just sort of how it goes,
Speaker 1: they as the youth start to gain independence. I feel
Speaker 1: like I do this in my own parenting. You like
Speaker 1: see this window closing, and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I need to download all this important information otherwise my
Speaker 1: child is going to perish in the world. And so
Speaker 1: I need to like get it all in, even though
Speaker 1: I was putting it in for the past, yes whatever,
Speaker 1: however many years, but I need to really really cram
Speaker 1: it in now. And I feel like that last horizon
Speaker 1: is usually like sex and alcohol or.
Speaker 2: Draw and our drugs. Right, Okay, so let me ask
Speaker 2: you this question. If if you have a conversation with
Speaker 2: your kids about sex, do they want to die a
Speaker 2: little bit inside?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm assuming they probably do.
Speaker 2: Okay, we had Luke and Eve, those are her two
Speaker 2: oldest kiddos. If we had them on the show right
Speaker 2: now and we said, what is the thing that mom
Speaker 2: does that annoys you the most? What do you think
Speaker 2: their answers would be?
Speaker 1: It's actually not the open conversations about the sex or alcohol.
Speaker 1: I like, I will buy that. Maybe I'm totally wrong,
Speaker 1: but I always kind of think that I come in
Speaker 1: low pro like not too smooth, not like, guys, I
Speaker 1: got this, but like I feel like.
Speaker 2: I do think you have it.
Speaker 1: Yeah you were by the way, remember when you were
Speaker 1: in the car and huh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys had a great we.
Speaker 1: Were having a conversation, and I think I'm pretty good
Speaker 1: at just like listening. Yeah, and then yeah, then I
Speaker 1: share my feelings if I get my feelings hurt or
Speaker 1: if I've hurt feelings, I deeply believe in the in
Speaker 1: the repair and the reset and or getting a redo
Speaker 1: like I might have totally shit the bed on that one,
Speaker 1: let's take it back. So yeah, I feel like I
Speaker 1: have an open suggestion box for them. Doesn't mean I'm
Speaker 1: always gonna, you know, the regularity with which I read
Speaker 1: the suggestions.
Speaker 2: It's open, but it's dusty.
Speaker 1: It's a little dusty.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that uh, I think the things
Speaker 1: that start to become Because I said this before and
Speaker 1: you really didn't like it, but little kids, little problems,
Speaker 1: big kids, big problems.
Speaker 2: Right, I don't like it, I know, but I'm just saying,
Speaker 2: like little kids.
Speaker 1: You're there at the park with them, saying like don't
Speaker 1: go down the slide right behind someone so that you
Speaker 1: know you don't have a pile up or you hurt
Speaker 1: each other. And that would really just be like an ouch.
Speaker 1: But then when they get big, you're talking about you know,
Speaker 1: you're talking about sex, you're talking about alcohol, you're talking
Speaker 1: about drugs. One of my biggest and the things that
Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I talked about that I think is
Speaker 1: so hard is is the two things can be true.
Speaker 1: I can say to you, I don't think you should
Speaker 1: do X Y and Z. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: do X Y and z. If you do X Y
Speaker 1: and Z, please know that I'm here to talk to
Speaker 1: you about it or help you or pick you up
Speaker 1: or all that. Like, it's a very mixed message. I
Speaker 1: think when they get older and it's not just an
Speaker 1: ouch on a slide, it's a real no.
Speaker 2: I know big. I mean you talked about like even
Speaker 2: Luke driving. I mean, now you're dealing. I get it,
Speaker 2: Like I understand why big problems, right. I don't like it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it. But driving a car, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's some serious stuff. Obviously. I have to say
Speaker 2: my parents were really good. There was four of us
Speaker 2: and you have you know, your parents have eighteen kids.
Speaker 2: They're really good at not hitting sailings against each other.
Speaker 1: We never had that, No, But I think I don't
Speaker 1: know if it was doctor Becky or someone recently, and
Speaker 1: they were talking about sibling rivalry. It's not even what
Speaker 1: the parents do to the kids. I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 1: there are kids where parents might not handle it in
Speaker 1: the most fist kid way. But even in a family,
Speaker 1: if like let's say the parents are really even, like
Speaker 1: very even distribution of praise, love, all the things, the
Speaker 1: kids are still looking at their siblings, like who's got
Speaker 1: the stronger connection?
Speaker 2: There's rivalry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they're like who's in pole position right now.
Speaker 2: It's funny though, because I don't I never felt that.
Speaker 2: Did you feel that growing up? I did not feel
Speaker 2: that growing up, probably because I felt the best.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that's probably because felt like we were.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was very goal oriented, and I didn't like getting
Speaker 1: in trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble, so getting
Speaker 1: inside stuff that as much as I could, I was not. No,
Speaker 1: I did not like getting in trouble. I also think
Speaker 1: in the disciplining, very early on, I mean what nerd
Speaker 1: buckets we were. But like I truly think Luke was
Speaker 1: six months old when Christopher and I took a parenting
Speaker 1: class and it was with the most amazing woman named
Speaker 1: Mary Hartzel who wrote this incredible book and then she
Speaker 1: wrote another book with this incredible doctor, doctor Dan Siegel.
Speaker 1: But I remember the very most important first class lynch
Speaker 1: pin moment and it was up on the chalkboard or
Speaker 1: dry erase board, whatever it was, and it was the
Speaker 1: definition of discipline and it is to teach. And I
Speaker 1: remember that staying with me because I think as a kid,
Speaker 1: I really thought discipline was like consequences, Yeah, good old
Speaker 1: fashioned stanking and just being like I am afraid and anyways,
Speaker 1: so I did always think about it. That is sort
Speaker 1: of a launching pad and to discipline with the kids
Speaker 1: where I'm like, okay, if someone if one of the
Speaker 1: kids has done something really naughty or terrible or has
Speaker 1: some big fallout or whatever, like what do they need
Speaker 1: to learn to not do it again? Right? Like what's
Speaker 1: the teaching what's the teaching piece? And each kid is
Speaker 1: different each and because each kid learns differently, so I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you know.
Speaker 2: What I love this is off subject a little bit,
Speaker 2: but I'm just like, this is what I love about
Speaker 2: us being friends because we're so similar in so many
Speaker 2: ways and we're so different. You took a parenting class
Speaker 2: at nine months old six six, sorry six, way too late.
Speaker 2: At nine you would have missed the window. I didn't
Speaker 2: read a single book. I got all the books sent
Speaker 2: to me right like what to expect. Didn't give a shit.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll expect whatever it is it comes
Speaker 2: and single Lama's class.
Speaker 1: I didn't know.
Speaker 2: I just figured I'll get in the room and people
Speaker 2: have been doing this forever, and I'll figure out the
Speaker 2: breathing and I'll just push.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: Really, I was starting to really understand our trips together.
Speaker 1: When we land in a new house, well, when we
Speaker 1: land in a new city, yeah, And I say, what
Speaker 1: would you like to do? And you're like, I'm just
Speaker 1: like the windw blow us in the right direction. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: Or you'll carry me. I'll just jump on your back
Speaker 1: and you'll walk and carry me wherever I need. But
Speaker 1: I need a you.
Speaker 2: That's why I need a you, because I would end up,
Speaker 2: you know, on the wrong part of town.
Speaker 1: Well, and I need a willing participant, that's just gonna
Speaker 1: listen to me. Tell them that they're gonna have Tai
Speaker 1: food for dinner tonight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, sounds good, That's great.
Speaker 4: I'm allergic to that, but I'm fine.
Speaker 1: Was there anything that your parents did that you actually
Speaker 1: loved that you now might do with your kids.
Speaker 2: I loved so many things. I think the main thing
Speaker 2: that I really loved is they truly made me feel
Speaker 2: made all of us feel like we could do anything. Yes,
Speaker 2: mine too like anything, which is why I came here
Speaker 2: with zero money and was like, Oh, how take it
Speaker 2: in Hollywood? I think it. I mean it might have
Speaker 2: been slight delusion, by the way, but delusion is necessary
Speaker 2: in that situation for sure, not grandiosity.
Speaker 1: I never thought I was bigger than the moment. Like
Speaker 1: I never thought like, oh, I'm so fantastic. I will
Speaker 1: clearly master this and they will all be watching. I
Speaker 1: just felt that I could meet the challenge, like I
Speaker 1: had the confidence to meet the challenge and know that however,
Speaker 1: I was going to make it through it. I was
Speaker 1: going to make it through it, like I didn't know
Speaker 1: I'd be successful.
Speaker 2: Truly, if we're going to call what it is, I
Speaker 2: think I had a little bit of grandiosity. You did, Okay,
Speaker 2: yeah I did because I came and I when for actors,
Speaker 2: you hear the statistic that it's like, you know, point
Speaker 2: zero zero two percent of people ever even can make
Speaker 2: a living out of acting, right, And I came and
Speaker 2: I thought like, I'm gonna take over a stout watch
Speaker 2: out because Camilla's arrived. And I was walking around, truly
Speaker 2: with so much confidence that it was going to happen that,
Speaker 2: you know, when I was waiting tables and they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: how long have you worked too, I'm like, don't worry
Speaker 2: about it. I'm going to be an actress. It wasn't
Speaker 2: about fame, and it wasn't about like winning awards. It
Speaker 2: was just like, this was my calling. I was going
Speaker 2: to do it and I'm great at it. But my parents,
Speaker 2: my parents made me feel that way. So I want
Speaker 2: I want my kids to have that same feeling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that the possibilities are are are endless for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And if you if you put hard work in, no
Speaker 1: matter where you're starting from, I believe that you can
Speaker 1: you can achieve. I don't know what level, but I
Speaker 1: do believe you can achieve. And you and I say
Speaker 1: this about ourselves a lot as adults, even which I
Speaker 1: hope hopefully we've earned. Right is I I don't find
Speaker 1: myself in situations often where I don't believe that it
Speaker 1: won't it won't end up being okay. Like I if
Speaker 1: I get stuck in the mountain, I'm getting down. I
Speaker 1: don't know how it may but it maybe you know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2: It's funny you see this because this is off subject too,
Speaker 2: but I've I recently read about and well, let's do
Speaker 2: an episode on this because I find it so interesting.
Speaker 2: I think part of that for me, that feeling for
Speaker 2: me is faith and like the universe figuring it out,
Speaker 2: which some people will think it's very woo wo, but
Speaker 2: that's how I feel. And I read about this lady
Speaker 2: and she was called the competition Queen, I want to say,
Speaker 2: and it was basically it's a woman that came up
Speaker 2: with this formula of entering competitions and winning it and
Speaker 2: it was through visualizing, really believing in what was going
Speaker 2: to happen. And she won everything she'd entered, including a house,
Speaker 2: and she wrote a book and it's the same as
Speaker 2: sort of the secret that you know we all heard
Speaker 2: about back in you know, the two thousands. But I
Speaker 2: think that you can manifest stuff for yourself. Now we're
Speaker 2: off subject. We need to do a whole manifesting episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what that even means, because there's a way
Speaker 1: to do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, she has a specific way of doing it.
Speaker 2: It's very interesting. Okay, so we threw it out to
Speaker 2: the crew.
Speaker 1: We did. Oh, I just want to say this one
Speaker 1: other piece, which is when I think about the times
Speaker 1: that I have made mistakes with my kids, Like I've
Speaker 1: actually named a couple of them on the show at
Speaker 1: different episodes. But when I've just gotten it wrong right,
Speaker 1: I've yelled at the wrong kid, or I've been in
Speaker 1: my own personal crisis and taken it out on someone,
Speaker 1: or my patience just wasn't where I wanted it to be.
Speaker 1: I have said it before and I'll say it again.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of the redo. It's not even
Speaker 1: the reset, it's a redo, it's the you know what,
Speaker 1: I really got that wrong? I yelled at you, or
Speaker 1: I blamed you, or I wasn't even listening to you,
Speaker 1: and I got it wrong, and I think that people
Speaker 1: often do get it wrong because that's life, and then
Speaker 1: they think that's it right as parents, like I completely
Speaker 1: fucked up my kid, the moment of be yelling is
Speaker 1: going to live in perpetuity in their mind and it's
Speaker 1: going to shame them and they're going to have issues
Speaker 1: around whatever that issue was for the rest of their life.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's crap. I think that's total bullshit.
Speaker 1: I think you can go back, and it's hard because
Speaker 1: it's not fun to have a reckoning with your own wrongness,
Speaker 1: But I think you really can go back and be like,
Speaker 1: I messed it up, And if I could do it
Speaker 1: over again, I would ask this, I would have said
Speaker 1: this and have that moment, because I do think that
Speaker 1: that's the key to you know, fostering and developing young
Speaker 1: people who can communicate efficiently and talk.
Speaker 2: And I had this moment actually about three days ago.
Speaker 2: We'd evacuated. We were out, and my kids have been stuck.
Speaker 2: You know, we only had one day of school here
Speaker 2: in Los Angeles and there everything's shut down. So my
Speaker 2: kids have been together NonStop, right and at this point
Speaker 2: they want to kill each other. There's no doubt right.
Speaker 2: They're arguing over everything. We were in the car driving
Speaker 2: and I was exhausted and all the things, and they
Speaker 2: were arguing. They'd found this little squidgy toy that had
Speaker 2: like dog hair on it at the bottom of their
Speaker 2: seat in the car, and they decided that that was
Speaker 2: the most important thing they'd ever seen in their lives
Speaker 2: and it definitely belonged to them, right, And so this
Speaker 2: argument ensued, and they've been arguing over every single toy
Speaker 2: that's mine, now, that's your. You gave it to me,
Speaker 2: you promised me that. And I just lost it, Like
Speaker 2: I flawn yelled and I was yell. I couldn't stop.
Speaker 2: There was not the decibel was at like explosive right
Speaker 2: hours I and it lasted. The yelling lasted a good
Speaker 2: three full minutes, like I couldn't stop, and they were stunned.
Speaker 2: And I was like, then that's what you get kind
Speaker 2: of thing, you know. Not that I was, but that
Speaker 2: was the vibe. And I came. I came back to
Speaker 2: where we were staying and I said to Matt, like,
Speaker 2: I feel so guilty because they're in it's like a
Speaker 2: pressure cooker here and it's just of course these arguments are.
Speaker 1: Going to happen.
Speaker 2: We're all tired, we're all we've on top of each other.
Speaker 2: And so I bought the kids back in and into
Speaker 2: the room and I said, you know, I'm really sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm really stressed out, and I'm really sorry to that
Speaker 2: I had. I had to redo. And it looks at me.
Speaker 2: She's so cude. She's like, mom, I get it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: little seven year old. Just like again, they do.
Speaker 1: And hopefully given that you are her you know, truest
Speaker 1: north and her role model, and I know how much
Speaker 1: she loves you. You you gave her permission in a
Speaker 1: future moment that she doesn't even know yet to know
Speaker 1: that saying that you were wrong is yeah, the right
Speaker 1: thing to do. Yeah, I just revisit it, and I
Speaker 1: think that it's really people don't say they're wrong. People
Speaker 1: have a really hard time with saying that they're wrong,
Speaker 1: that they got it wrong, or that they need help.
Speaker 1: It's hard.
Speaker 2: I actually it is hard. I in my twenties I
Speaker 2: really had a hard time saying I was wrong. For sure.
Speaker 2: I have learned that it's such a release, honestly, to
Speaker 2: admit fault. I think that it like really takes the
Speaker 2: pressure off to be able to say, like own the
Speaker 2: stories feels good. It really feels good to be like,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that. I don't know why I said that,
Speaker 2: as opposed to like standing your ground in it when
Speaker 2: you're when you've reached the point of like you're starting
Speaker 2: a question. You know, back in the day, when I
Speaker 2: was like arguing with the boyfriend, it didn't whatever that
Speaker 2: was that I had said. I was like, now you've
Speaker 2: got to stick, you know, you've gotta.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's the hell you'll die on. You're not abandoning
Speaker 1: your That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You're not abandoning No, no, no, even when they've shown
Speaker 2: you the actual proof that you're wrong, You're like.
Speaker 1: That, no, no, no. And I love debate. I'll go,
Speaker 1: I'll go, I'll go all day every day.
Speaker 2: Let's go another hill, another one.
Speaker 1: Okay, right, so now back to where our crew. Let
Speaker 1: us know what really annoys them about your parents.
Speaker 2: We asked the tweens, the teens, and the adolescents of
Speaker 2: the Call It crew, and here is what they had
Speaker 2: to say.
Speaker 1: Clara said, my parents annoy me so much when they'd
Speaker 1: either tell me that I'm out too much or when
Speaker 1: I stay home that I stay in too much. So
Speaker 1: what exactly am I supposed to do here? Oh, Clara,
Speaker 1: I need more specifics? Yeah, where are you going? And
Speaker 1: then what are you doing when you're home? Because if
Speaker 1: you're like looking off and like playing video games and like,
Speaker 1: you know, acting with a general sloth when you're home,
Speaker 1: then they're there. They might be right to get you.
Speaker 2: I love a sloth, though I know you do.
Speaker 1: You're much more slothy than me.
Speaker 2: I'm way more slothy. Okay, I never heard the.
Speaker 1: Term couch rot before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bedrot, couch rot. Yeah, it's in baby. Thank god,
Speaker 2: I'm finally on trend.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, tell me what Kyla said.
Speaker 2: Kyla said, my mother will ask me what I'm doing,
Speaker 2: and I will say I'm sitting down relaxing, and she
Speaker 2: will reply, well, I was too funny. Poor woman must
Speaker 2: have sore legs and feet. I gotta say this was
Speaker 2: my dad. My dad is someone that if I was
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch, I would feel very guilty. He
Speaker 2: would vacuum right by my feet around the toes, you know,
Speaker 2: just to make sure I knew that he was up
Speaker 2: and doing something that I could have also been doing.
Speaker 2: That's why I love. That's why when I have my
Speaker 2: own place now, I love it. I can see the
Speaker 2: couch now. I was going to vacuum my toes.
Speaker 1: I know my family is very much that way too.
Speaker 1: It was like that. I remember there was at one
Speaker 1: point it was like, if you're if you're if you're leaning,
Speaker 1: you should be cleaning. If you're if you've got time
Speaker 1: to lean, you've got time to clean. I just want
Speaker 1: to lean. I want to lean. Wow, Laura says. Whenever
Speaker 1: my parents get upset about small things in restaurants, like
Speaker 1: not enough ketchup or something similar, they call the waiter
Speaker 1: and complain and argue. I know they're right because they
Speaker 1: paid for the dish, but I feel ashamed when they
Speaker 1: argue in front of everyone because I would have let
Speaker 1: it go. And in those moments, I want the earth
Speaker 1: to swallow me up.
Speaker 2: I'm with you, Laura, and Laura, I'm with you, and
Speaker 2: I have this parent. My dad is a oh yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a ketchup complainer, oh big time. In fact, he'll
Speaker 2: look and it's this is a real story. He came
Speaker 2: to the restaurant that I was waiting tables at, and
Speaker 2: I waited on him, and he complained to my manager
Speaker 2: about me. That's a true story. Well that's real and
Speaker 2: lud oh yeah, and it is embarrassing. It's definitely embarrassing
Speaker 2: and they need to chill out, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. We're not even at a fancy restaurant, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, we're you know, Chili's. And
Speaker 2: he's like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, I really do believe that people who complain at
Speaker 1: restaurants never worked in restaurants. It's why I feel that
Speaker 1: all my kids need to be in food service at
Speaker 1: some point, because it teaches you how to treat people
Speaker 1: who are there to be of service. And by the way,
Speaker 1: this isn't to say that I haven't had shitty waiters
Speaker 1: and waitresses.
Speaker 2: I have and I have.
Speaker 1: You know, I mean whatever, I think that there's ways
Speaker 1: you can get back.
Speaker 2: It's not about like, it's not about you know, your
Speaker 2: food's cold and you got to send it back. It's
Speaker 2: just there's My dad does it in a way where
Speaker 2: he feels as soon as he sits down in that seat,
Speaker 2: he give you it chuck e cheese, and he feels
Speaker 2: entitled right like the world is serving him.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh mart, oh god, okay, the mart Okay, Destiny said,
Speaker 2: being overbearing. I'm twenty two and I haven't lived with
Speaker 2: my mom since I was nineteen. We're trying to have
Speaker 2: a relationship again because I just want a mom and
Speaker 2: she just is so narcissistic and overbearing. I don't know
Speaker 2: how to have a normal relationship with her when she
Speaker 2: can't see her own faults. It's hot. This is like
Speaker 2: the sorry part really right.
Speaker 1: Like, well, I mean, I don't know if we're ready
Speaker 1: to go into this, but I'm really desperate to have
Speaker 1: a guest whose name is mel Robbins talk about her
Speaker 1: let them theory.
Speaker 2: What's the let them theory?
Speaker 1: Well, I really want to have her on to describe,
Speaker 1: but I will just say in this instance, I would
Speaker 1: say that, I mean, everybody wants to have a mom,
Speaker 1: But if your mom is narcissistic and overbearing and can't
Speaker 1: get out of her own way, you kind of just
Speaker 1: got a letter and then it's up to you what
Speaker 1: kind of relationship you want to have with that. Like,
Speaker 1: if she's gonna always, if she's being her right, that's
Speaker 1: truly who she is, then you're likely not going to
Speaker 1: change her.
Speaker 2: So to let them is almost like the letting go
Speaker 2: of trying to change them in a way it's hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, two step process, which is there is because you
Speaker 1: could just become a doormat if you really just let
Speaker 1: everyone do everything right. It's a let them, like, let
Speaker 1: them be who they're gonna be, right, the friend that's
Speaker 1: always late, the friend that doesn't show up for you,
Speaker 1: the parent that behaves in such a way to let them,
Speaker 1: let them be who they are. But then it's let
Speaker 1: me figure out whether or not I want to participate
Speaker 1: in it, or what boundary I want to be put
Speaker 1: up and be like I don't want to like when
Speaker 1: you make everything about you or when you're telling me
Speaker 1: everything that's wrong with me and what I should do.
Speaker 1: I have a choice. I don't have to be with you,
Speaker 1: and the chances of me changing you are pretty small
Speaker 1: given human behavior. So I just think that I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about it a lot, and it really does seem
Speaker 1: to kind of like permeate every circumstance between being like
Speaker 1: annoyed in the checkout line by the person who's you know,
Speaker 1: putting their groceries on the belt at a glacial pace. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just like interrupt the cycle and you're like let
Speaker 1: them I'm just gonna take a breath. I'm gonna pick
Speaker 1: up my phone and maybe do something I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to do before. But like, okay, like I'm not going
Speaker 1: to control this when am I gonnah and puff behind
Speaker 1: them like I'm gonna like what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: There's certain things you just gotta let go. Okay, we
Speaker 1: need it on, yes I do.
Speaker 2: Please please mell Robin's now, Robin's your next.
Speaker 1: Okay. So Petro wrote in and said, my parents change
Speaker 1: the Netflix password when they're mad at my siblings and I.
Speaker 1: It's immature and silly, and I'm with them.
Speaker 2: That's quite funny. That's quite good.
Speaker 1: Actually, I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 2: I'm sure that's funny. That is so annoying.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: It is immature and silly, and I'm gonna support it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: Okay. Lauren said, whenever we go on holiday as a family,
Speaker 2: my parents suddenly lose all sense of direction and common sense.
Speaker 2: How we ever got anywhere when we were younger is
Speaker 2: a mystery. That's really funny and so annoying.
Speaker 3: I think that.
Speaker 1: Then they they need you to become the team leader.
Speaker 1: They're just they need you to get out your phone.
Speaker 2: Like like I do when we go play. You're just
Speaker 2: google maps it. I'm speaker. That's very funny, Lauren, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but yeah, that is funny, okay.
Speaker 1: Inter Ellie says when they act like they didn't do
Speaker 1: anything wrong when they were younger, or when they act
Speaker 1: like they didn't do much worse things than we're doing.
Speaker 1: I know my parents misbehaved as teens. They were not perfect.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: They weren't perfect.
Speaker 2: No one was no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Some stupid shit, And I hope all I can do,
Speaker 1: honestly is really just pray that my kids don't do
Speaker 1: as much stupid shit as I do did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not at that point yet where I have
Speaker 2: teens where I have to figure out, like I put
Speaker 2: myself in some pretty bad jam, I know, like to
Speaker 2: what extent do you share how how stupid you were?
Speaker 1: Uh huh?
Speaker 2: Do you mention it all? Do you say it all? Or
Speaker 2: do you sort of? Is there a censorship inappropriate?
Speaker 1: It started to come out because again I am a
Speaker 1: seventeen year old and I have a fourteen year old. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I found myself in a super like moment because I
Speaker 1: have to tell me, I gotta walk my talk. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeaven with my kids and I'm honest with.
Speaker 2: Them, and.
Speaker 1: There's a moment where they're like, so, how old were
Speaker 1: you and you had sex?
Speaker 2: And You're like, god, you're like one.
Speaker 1: Thirty damn And I am sex positive right, and I go,
Speaker 1: but I'm not the thing. All this shit really like
Speaker 1: comes that flies in your face because you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, the things I say don't actually match the
Speaker 1: things that I would do, or my idea being sex positive,
Speaker 1: or my idea that everyone should have a healthy relationship
Speaker 1: with sex and the connection and everything all the bloody
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But then you're like, my baby, You're like,
Speaker 1: because these young people are just babies.
Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like that.
Speaker 2: I got to figure out. I thought everything moves up
Speaker 2: a little bit, right, you got to add two years,
Speaker 2: two or three years to everything. When there's the first
Speaker 2: time you drank. I've never drink never, Okay, Carmel said,
Speaker 2: this might sound dumb, but it makes me upset when
Speaker 2: my parents open my door to talk. Then don't close
Speaker 2: the door when they leave. I find it so rude.
Speaker 2: That's a big teenager move. The teenager move. Yes, you've
Speaker 2: got to reclose the door.
Speaker 1: The threshold moment when it's almost like true whenever it happens,
Speaker 1: it happens completely until it's over. But they go from
Speaker 1: being totally down to have whatever door open whenever, yeah,
Speaker 1: to being like, as you're walking out the door, can
Speaker 1: you please close my door?
Speaker 2: And oh my god, wow, okay, of where's have you
Speaker 2: ever such a rejection? Have you ever knocked on the
Speaker 2: door to go in and they've not let you in?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, okay no. But I actually and Christopher
Speaker 1: and I are different in this way. I always do knock.
Speaker 1: I might, I might knock and then open like it
Speaker 1: might need one motion. But I always give like a
Speaker 1: little bit of a I'm coming. I'm not worried that
Speaker 1: they're hiding anything. I just I believe in privacy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean there could be changing or something too.
Speaker 1: You can make it.
Speaker 2: In your room, right does CHRISTA would do like the Seinfeld,
Speaker 2: like you know that guy's Seinfeld that like slid in
Speaker 2: with the door, just open it a little bamboozle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just open it.
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's a bamboozle. Yeah. I don't know. Man and I.
Speaker 2: If Man and I had this conversation right now, I'm
Speaker 2: telling you, he'd be like, I'm not knocking. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: it's gonna change.
Speaker 1: It's gonna change, and your kids change it for you too,
Speaker 1: because some of them won't.
Speaker 3: They just won't.
Speaker 1: That will not be okay with them.
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna hear. We're gonna get that the suggestion box.
Speaker 2: We'll get the feedback, get the feedback back.
Speaker 1: Michaela wrote in and she said, I'm nineteen and a
Speaker 1: sophomore in college. My parents still track my phone and
Speaker 1: call me when I'm out late. I understand it's out
Speaker 1: of love and they want to protect me, but they
Speaker 1: use it against me. They also pay for my school,
Speaker 1: So at what point is it not okay anymore for
Speaker 1: them to stalk me?
Speaker 2: Mikaela, this is what I'm going to be doing. I will,
Speaker 2: but we've talked about this. I'm a tracker, yeah, and
Speaker 2: it's probably and call on you're out, I mean, nineteen
Speaker 2: year in college. I don't know if I'm assuming that
Speaker 2: you're in college and that's what you're talking about Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to call them if they're out late,
Speaker 2: probably just because I won't know. But am I going
Speaker 2: to track? Yeah, I'm tracking.
Speaker 1: I have a conflicted relationship with this.
Speaker 2: I know we we we were not the same. You're
Speaker 2: on a tracker?
Speaker 1: Really well no, but I well, I think my conflicted
Speaker 1: relationship is I am I mean, in my heart of heart,
Speaker 1: it's what I want to do. Is I want to know.
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to check the tracking.
Speaker 1: I just want to know that if we were in
Speaker 1: a situation where on a expected communication wasn't happening right,
Speaker 1: like hey where are you and I didn't hear back,
Speaker 1: and then it was like really abnormal and they weren't
Speaker 1: answering me, I would want to know that I could
Speaker 1: track them. He also just I've heard so many stories
Speaker 1: about the tracking being able to really make a difference
Speaker 1: for someone who is in a little bit of trouble.
Speaker 1: Of course, so as much as I mean, Mikayla, I listen,
Speaker 1: I don't. I would hope to not use the tracking
Speaker 1: against my child, but I would hope to use the
Speaker 1: tracking for my child, like to to help, not to
Speaker 1: like penalize or.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the the penalizing is annoying
Speaker 2: unless you're lying. If you're like, hey, I'm at Ralph's
Speaker 2: grabbing a sandwich and then you can see that you're
Speaker 2: downtown at the club.
Speaker 1: That would happened to me as a kid. Hold on,
Speaker 1: I'm just ordering my I'm sorry, ordered my frozen yogurt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not a double so like what kind of
Speaker 2: yoga is that?
Speaker 1: It's no, you don't.
Speaker 2: Worry about it. No, I I'm gonna be a bad tracker.
Speaker 2: I already know, like you know the little like you
Speaker 2: know the little I've the Apple trackers. I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: putting those. I'm gonna dig out a little hole in her.
Speaker 2: You're gonna tacks. I'm gonna air attack or.
Speaker 1: STI people who their kids, especially at like Disneyland or whatever.
Speaker 2: Oh air tags all over show? Are you kidding?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Lise. When my parents compare how they were
Speaker 1: as young adults compared to my generation, which is gen
Speaker 1: Z like getting a house at a young age, or
Speaker 1: not being sensitive work ethic, et cetera. Like, clearly we
Speaker 1: are living in different times. Rent was a dollar fifty
Speaker 1: back then and now it's a million.
Speaker 2: Dollars for a one bedroom.
Speaker 1: Gen Z is more emotionally aware and outspoken, not sensitive
Speaker 1: in finding work is a lot more competitive, with everyone
Speaker 1: requiring years of experience. It drives me nets. Please don't compare.
Speaker 1: Times are different, that's true. You gotta grow, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta come on.
Speaker 2: I don't know, though, I'm you know, I'm of the millennials,
Speaker 2: and we can relate to this. I think the millennial
Speaker 2: parents are not the it's the boomers really that had
Speaker 2: that like amazing situation where the rent was a dollar fifty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they all worked really hard.
Speaker 2: It was really hard. It works really hard, really hard.
Speaker 2: And I walked miles to school.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And they had babies young.
Speaker 2: Yeah they did. Yeah, and that they had a house.
Speaker 1: Things were just so much more. I mean, good news,
Speaker 1: bad news. Things were so much more.
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe stable, I don't know what the
Speaker 2: word is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like the like there wasn't as much possibility
Speaker 1: to be something outside of what had come before you.
Speaker 1: It was like there was a prescription on some level,
Speaker 1: like what was going to happen. You were going to
Speaker 1: have you were gonna get married, you were gonna have kids,
Speaker 1: and all that stuff.
Speaker 2: The expectations maybe were different, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because my generation would be
Speaker 1: the one that then is in that Sandwich generation where yeah,
Speaker 1: we didn't have I mean I was still pretty young
Speaker 1: when I had kids, but a lot of people in
Speaker 1: my generation didn't have kids until they were in their thirties.
Speaker 1: And now they've got parents that are aging and maturing
Speaker 1: at the same time that they're really raising young kids.
Speaker 1: So yeah, sort of that's the generation that has a
Speaker 1: hard time figuring out how to take care of themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the Sammy NAMMY's Okay, Courtney, say, ah.
Speaker 2: My dad still buys me dolls. I am twenty three
Speaker 2: years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items. What are we
Speaker 2: talking about here, like a what do we like? A
Speaker 2: Cafish patch? What do we say?
Speaker 1: American girl?
Speaker 4: Doll?
Speaker 2: American girl.
Speaker 1: That's cute, though, I mean, but I can see very annoying.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're twenty three, yeah, that's pretty annoying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is annoying, all right, Hannah, I'm with you, Courtney.
Speaker 1: Hannah said, Hey, Jess and Camilla, I'm sixteen, almost seventeen,
Speaker 1: and something my parents do that absolutely makes me insane
Speaker 1: is when I have my AirPods in listening to music
Speaker 1: and they insist on having a conversation. If I don't
Speaker 1: have them in, it's silent, But for some reason they
Speaker 1: choose to talk to me about things while I'm mid
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift. It's so annoying. How do I tell them
Speaker 1: to stop in a way that doesn't mean As a
Speaker 1: future surgeon who looks up to your characters.
Speaker 2: I love the pod and Grace, I love you, well,
Speaker 2: we love a future surgeon, Yes we do.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I would just I think I would like
Speaker 1: point to the ear. I would like point to my
Speaker 1: ear and be like, yeah, I can't hear you.
Speaker 2: Oh, because that's gonna go down. Well, like you're a
Speaker 2: sixteen year old and your mom's like and you're like,
Speaker 2: I just sorry, these are in Yeah, that's gonna be
Speaker 2: definitely respected. Sorry, just just literally tap on them. Just
Speaker 2: so annoying. This is this is tale as old as time.
Speaker 2: Don't think I didn't have a CD, A Walkman, yep,
Speaker 2: a CD, little disc Man Discman and the things on.
Speaker 2: And I mean those things were obvious, you can even
Speaker 2: they weren't hidden whatsoever. And the parents still wanted to
Speaker 2: have a convo, and I was mid you know the
Speaker 2: Britney Spears.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hit, maybe one more time.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of the Maybe it's this, maybe
Speaker 2: you announce like, hey guys, I'm gonna listen to my
Speaker 2: album right now. I'm just meaning a little peace to myself.
Speaker 1: So there's a.
Speaker 2: Little announcement that happens. Hey guys, I'm gonna take this
Speaker 2: time to like listen to my music. Do you guys
Speaker 2: have any questions for me? Right now? Ray? Great? Me
Speaker 2: and Taylor are off to the races. Okay, Clarissa, I'm
Speaker 2: the middle child. Shout out to middle children. Hello, and
Speaker 2: a family of five. Me and my oldest sister are
Speaker 2: only fourteen months apart, meaning we are practically treated like twins. However,
Speaker 2: I am the total opposite of her. While she is
Speaker 2: valedictorian and studying to be an engineer. I do decent
Speaker 2: in school and do theater while studying journalism. What drives
Speaker 2: me nuts is we are constantly told that we have
Speaker 2: the support of everyone, but I have been called the
Speaker 2: figure it out, do it yourself kid, meaning I don't
Speaker 2: have the support of my family. Favoritism is the word
Speaker 2: for it. My mom will spend hours of her day
Speaker 2: cleaning my sister's room and doing her homework. But for me,
Speaker 2: I get scolded that my room is a mess. What
Speaker 2: should I do? I want an out, But at the
Speaker 2: same time, they are my family. Well, the cleaning of
Speaker 2: the room is Derella. Yes, seriously, the Cinderella story. I
Speaker 2: don't like the cleaning of the room. That does feel
Speaker 2: like favoritism. And I think that that's a conversation. If
Speaker 2: you haven't had that, you bring up that's a suggestion box.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it sounds like it sounds like a
Speaker 1: team meeting.
Speaker 2: This does not. But also I don't understand why you're
Speaker 2: to figure it out do it yourself. Well, I don't
Speaker 2: understand why your family is in supporting you.
Speaker 1: I think you need some answers. I think you need
Speaker 1: a team meeting, and I think you need to just
Speaker 1: I love the eye statements. I feel like, yes is
Speaker 1: what happens, And I don't want to feel this way,
Speaker 1: but I do feel this way, and like, what can
Speaker 1: we do to help me not feel this way?
Speaker 2: Yes, I would hope that if Hayden was feeling this
Speaker 2: way that we could have a team meeting. They should
Speaker 2: because sometimes I think that parents. You're in a family
Speaker 2: of five, right, the chaos is probably happening. I feel
Speaker 2: like sometimes parents just are not in their own resilient
Speaker 2: zone and know what's going on and are tracking all
Speaker 2: of the things, and they might not even be aware
Speaker 2: of how this is making you feel. So a sit
Speaker 2: down convo and hopefully they're open to it. Clarissa, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're real.
Speaker 1: If you lead with your feelings, I would imagine that
Speaker 1: most people you know would lean into the conversation. And
Speaker 1: I don't think that any parent is intending to have
Speaker 1: that be the story that you tell about your family.
Speaker 1: No want that now.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I love hearing all these me too.
Speaker 2: It feels good to be back you guys. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest when I was don't lie. I'm
Speaker 2: not lying. I'm gonna call it what it is. Today,
Speaker 2: I wanted to just be in bed, That's all I
Speaker 2: wanted to do. It's been a week and I just
Speaker 2: wanted to call into bed and fall asleep because I
Speaker 2: love my bed and avoid the world. And this has
Speaker 2: forced me to not do that, and I'm very grateful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very nice to be back with you. You know,
Speaker 1: I had to do one on my own, and it
Speaker 1: wasn't as much fun.
Speaker 2: I loved Brookshields.
Speaker 1: She was fun and she was fantastic. She brought a
Speaker 1: ton to it, but I missed my girl.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 2: I listened to that podcast, and I was hoping you'd
Speaker 2: be terrible by yourself and it would be very obvious
Speaker 2: that you like desperately need me. And it was annoyingly good.
Speaker 2: It actually did irritate me a little bit.
Speaker 1: Well, take the compliment, but I will hope that we
Speaker 1: do not find ourselves faced with that situation again.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no no, I don't want
Speaker 2: to do it about myself.
Speaker 1: We're peanut butter and jelly. To say, I named all
Speaker 1: the things, What would you say that we were? I said,
Speaker 1: peanut butter and jelly.
Speaker 2: Who are you? Which one are you though? The peanut butter,
Speaker 2: the jelly. I don't think you about this Jelly.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what.
Speaker 2: We've gotta figure out which one we are? Call it crew.
Speaker 2: Who's peanut? Who's the peanut butter?
Speaker 1: I think I'm a smooth, kind of like salty sweet
Speaker 1: peanut butter.
Speaker 2: I was thinking you're the peanut butter.
Speaker 1: Probably.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Is not funny how it becomes obvious what you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because you're a little you've got
Speaker 2: a little bit more together than I have. Oh, call
Speaker 2: it crew.
Speaker 1: We love you, we missed you, We missed you, We
Speaker 1: love you. That's manifest a great, great, fantastic twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: And please please please hit up our call it what
Speaker 2: it is Instagram page and look at the resources that
Speaker 2: we've posted. And to send California some some love right.
Speaker 1: Now, so much love, a heart full of love and
Speaker 1: a big, big, big hook. Wrap your arms around, California,
Speaker 1: and this too shall pass.
Speaker 2: All right, let's call it the end of the episode.
Speaker 3: Keep and eat.