1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,800
Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,

2
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.

3
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:23,799
Speaker 2: Well, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome

4
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,680
Speaker 2: to another episode of Call It What It Is. You

5
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,240
Speaker 2: know what, I just realized the pause was for a reason.

6
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,280
Speaker 2: This is our first episode together in twenty twenty five.

7
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,120
Speaker 1: I thought it as I said hello, Hello, Hello.

8
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like, wait.

9
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:44,560
Speaker 1: Welcome twenty twenty five. You twenty twenty five. It kind

10
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 1: of a dick.

11
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,960
Speaker 2: You've feel a huge dick, dude.

12
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:54,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you've made uh like very hard and sad

13
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,920
Speaker 1: and challenging and scary.

14
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,320
Speaker 2: Yeah we should have joined. Okay, so here here, here's

15
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,680
Speaker 2: the real deal. You guys. We always plan an episode

16
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,920
Speaker 2: just and I get into it and we figure out

17
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,480
Speaker 2: a fun subject and we reach out to you. We

18
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,720
Speaker 2: reach out to you guys, and we plan these episodes

19
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,440
Speaker 2: and we get so excited and so we do have

20
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 2: an episode that we are going to do. We are

21
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,600
Speaker 2: going to do the episode we plan today. However, twenty

22
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,720
Speaker 2: twenty five did a derailing of a lot of people's lives,

23
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,959
Speaker 2: and so we're going to derail the top of this

24
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,640
Speaker 2: episode to talk just.

25
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 1: Talking about what's been going on.

26
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 2: So for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we

27
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,240
Speaker 2: have been dealing. We haven't been watching the news or

28
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:42,520
Speaker 2: haven't yeah, have had the TV off. We've been dealing

29
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,600
Speaker 2: with fires, active fires that are still active right now.

30
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 2: In fact, I my house as I'm talking right now,

31
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,000
Speaker 2: is still under a an evacuation warning. The block over

32
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,600
Speaker 2: is a mandatory evacuation. They can't even come go home

33
00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:02,480
Speaker 2: right now. So let's talk about sort of what happened.

34
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 2: Just you were in New York, but you have family here.

35
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,600
Speaker 2: Your community was the Palisades, which is an area that

36
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,720
Speaker 2: was severely affected. You want to talk a little bit

37
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 2: about that. Yeah, I mean, I.

38
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,359
Speaker 1: As these things are.

39
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 3: It's sick.

40
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,520
Speaker 1: You remember the day before, so many people that I

41
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,040
Speaker 1: do business with are in Los Angeles. It's the beginning

42
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,760
Speaker 1: of the new year. Obviously, there's so many phone calls

43
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,360
Speaker 1: where you're just you know, checking in, here's the beginning

44
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,280
Speaker 1: of the new year. Here's what's happening. And it was all,

45
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 1: you know, invigorated, and people were excited to get back

46
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,120
Speaker 1: to work and everything else. And then as I remember it,

47
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,680
Speaker 1: it was like the whisperings of like, hey, there's this

48
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,200
Speaker 1: fire that's happening, and then it was I think physically

49
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,280
Speaker 1: in person, and then obviously word of mouth, and then

50
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,960
Speaker 1: the way that things came in through the news. It

51
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,280
Speaker 1: went from like there's a little fire to there is

52
00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:03,000
Speaker 1: a fire raging and and taking down everything in its path,

53
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:07,800
Speaker 1: and very quickly because of what comes every single year,

54
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,640
Speaker 1: which is the Santa Ana wins, and they are very

55
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:16,360
Speaker 1: very fast winds that pick up any little thing. So

56
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,960
Speaker 1: in this case, it picked up all the embers and

57
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:28,520
Speaker 1: took them through a large, large, large amount of space,

58
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:35,200
Speaker 1: densely populated, and there were multiple fires. The fire that

59
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,200
Speaker 1: was in the area that I spent my high school years.

60
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 2: And then you know, yeah, I remember sending Jess last

61
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 2: week a list of places in the Palisades, which I

62
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 2: wasn't familiar with. That's a little far from me. But

63
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,800
Speaker 2: actually when we had done the jingle ball, I had

64
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,360
Speaker 2: stayed with you at your family's house and the Palisades

65
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 2: and we sort of like ventured around, but I'd sent

66
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,440
Speaker 2: you a list of places that I knew had gone

67
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 2: within I mean, I want to say, within twenty four hours,

68
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,200
Speaker 2: and you were like, wow, these are these are all

69
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,360
Speaker 2: the places that I took my kids to this was

70
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,960
Speaker 2: my life when I lived in Los Angeles, and this

71
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,120
Speaker 2: area's gone right.

72
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,920
Speaker 1: Which I had a very very strange relationship with because

73
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:17,560
Speaker 1: I this is so not about me, and I was

74
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,560
Speaker 1: far away and I was getting this information, and I

75
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:27,160
Speaker 1: was very mindful and clear that the only thing that

76
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:32,960
Speaker 1: mattered in these initial moments was life and those who

77
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,160
Speaker 1: were in peril, getting people out of the way and

78
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,280
Speaker 1: containing it. Because it was so clear how devastating it

79
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,920
Speaker 1: was and how quickly it was taking things down, and

80
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,760
Speaker 1: because so many of my friends and loved ones are

81
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:53,400
Speaker 1: still there, I then again not understanding because you also

82
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 1: have to remember, I can't tell you how many times

83
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,680
Speaker 1: I evacuated my house from when I was fifteen, from

84
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 1: when I was you know, twenty, my whole life, you've

85
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,839
Speaker 1: evacuated because you're near the canyons and that's where the

86
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 1: fires come, and they it just it was nothing unfamiliar.

87
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,159
Speaker 1: But what was unfamiliar was then how quickly I was

88
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:21,480
Speaker 1: being sent videos from friends of completely destroyed, like everything

89
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,600
Speaker 1: was flattened. There was not there wasn't anything. And one

90
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,359
Speaker 1: particular video I got had you couldn't tell where you

91
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 1: were where it was being taken from and then all

92
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,800
Speaker 1: of a sudden, you see this corner and I saw

93
00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,960
Speaker 1: this small white brick like kind of pony wall that

94
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,080
Speaker 1: wrapped around this corner, because again I couldn't figure out

95
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,800
Speaker 1: which street they were videoing, and I was like, oh,

96
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,720
Speaker 1: I know where I am. That's the white brick pony

97
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,280
Speaker 1: wall that my kids would stand on top of and

98
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,919
Speaker 1: foot over foot. They would use the way that kids

99
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,800
Speaker 1: do walk the balance beam and we would go to

100
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,479
Speaker 1: Beach Street Peace and then we'd grab frozen yogurt at

101
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,400
Speaker 1: the yogurt shop, and yeah, everything was gone. It was

102
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,279
Speaker 1: completely completely gone.

103
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,640
Speaker 2: I do not live in the Palisades, but I think,

104
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,599
Speaker 2: you know, we, like Jessica said, we've had fires here before.

105
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,520
Speaker 2: I've never had to evacuate. I've never had an evacuation

106
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 2: warning or anything. And I think you you always feel like, Okay,

107
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,400
Speaker 2: at some point it's sort of out of the way

108
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,600
Speaker 2: and it's going to be contained, and it's they're going

109
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,000
Speaker 2: to send out these warnings, but they'll figure it'll be

110
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:37,760
Speaker 2: figured out. And I think that it happened so fast

111
00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,320
Speaker 2: and there was so much destruction so quick.

112
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: You're making me think of talking to friends who on

113
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,920
Speaker 1: the day because it was happening so fast, got the

114
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,720
Speaker 1: faatall from a school in the palasaids saying come pick up,

115
00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,720
Speaker 1: you know if you got to go, and the the

116
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:58,360
Speaker 1: the deluge of people in that state of mind trying

117
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: to get their children and then oh.

118
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,160
Speaker 2: You mean just grab their children from taking their children

119
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,400
Speaker 2: up to get them out, and then just just like

120
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,240
Speaker 2: the orderliness.

121
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,640
Speaker 1: Of it or lack thereof. And then I know many

122
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,040
Speaker 1: people who once they got their kids, got onto sunset

123
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,320
Speaker 1: and there was fire all around and they actually had

124
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,040
Speaker 1: to make the decision to pull their car over and

125
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,679
Speaker 1: get out of the car. And there were people running

126
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,240
Speaker 1: in the streets and they were running down towards the

127
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:29,520
Speaker 1: water and then to phs further and then back up

128
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,239
Speaker 1: to their homes if they were not in the evacuation zone.

129
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:38,360
Speaker 1: I mean it just listen. These these kinds of situations

130
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:43,800
Speaker 1: are just horrific. They're your worst nightmare. And and not

131
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,080
Speaker 1: being there and hearing about it, but knowing so specifically

132
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,360
Speaker 1: the places that this was all happening, Yeah, yeah, it

133
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,000
Speaker 1: was it. And again, like I said, not about me,

134
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,440
Speaker 1: not about me or my feelings about it at all.

135
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 1: All I cared about was how is this being contained,

136
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,640
Speaker 1: How are people safe and what are they going to

137
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 1: do now? And I and it seems like that's what

138
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,480
Speaker 1: people are focusing on right now, is like what are

139
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: the next best steps? Because the entirety of it is insane.

140
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,800
Speaker 1: And then you saw what was happening on social media

141
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,280
Speaker 1: and people were posting things and it just you.

142
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:20,520
Speaker 2: Know, I also feel like what people that don't live

143
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,280
Speaker 2: here maybe don't know is that it wasn't just one

144
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,720
Speaker 2: fire too. What was happening was fires were picking up

145
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,360
Speaker 2: over in Pasadena, which is really far from the Palisades.

146
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:30,800
Speaker 1: And then the.

147
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,600
Speaker 2: Eaton, I mean it was written there are so many

148
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:38,200
Speaker 2: different fires everywhere, and it traveled so fast in those

149
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,480
Speaker 2: winds that it was not a lot of time before

150
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,720
Speaker 2: we saw it the smoke up on the hills. I

151
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,200
Speaker 2: could see the flames, and then we all got the

152
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,040
Speaker 2: notices and we had to go. And in that situation,

153
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:52,000
Speaker 2: also I realized I'm absolutely fucking terrible in an emergency.

154
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,960
Speaker 2: First Off, I'm not someone that wants to leave. I

155
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,800
Speaker 2: don't want to leave. I was, but I was happy

156
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,120
Speaker 2: to be home because you would need.

157
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 1: Me in this situation.

158
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,320
Speaker 2: But I need you. Let's go. We are leaving no

159
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,760
Speaker 2: that's what Matt was like. We got the notice and

160
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,640
Speaker 2: he was like, we're gone. We're going right now.

161
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,720
Speaker 1: Also, growing up in LA maybe it just got ingrained.

162
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 1: Not growing up, I grew up everywhere, but having gone

163
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,240
Speaker 1: to high school in Los Angeles, it was ingrained in me.

164
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 1: Like I knew where you always had a double bag.

165
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,760
Speaker 1: That was the earthquakes and fires. You just were ready

166
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:26,079
Speaker 1: to go.

167
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,240
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, though, I did think about this. Earthquakes, yes,

168
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,679
Speaker 2: but in an earthquake situation, we have like a closet

169
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,160
Speaker 2: full of stuff. But I don't have anything in my car.

170
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,360
Speaker 2: I did not have a bag packed. I packed some

171
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,520
Speaker 2: somewhat of a bag very very fast. I grabed shit

172
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,000
Speaker 2: that didn't freaking matter. I grabbed a fing curling iron,

173
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 2: no deodorant, no bra. But I don't know what. It's

174
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,439
Speaker 2: like a salon where I'm going. I don't know why.

175
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not thinking, you're not thinking straight. No one's

176
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 1: thinking straight.

177
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 2: No, no, And now I'm they don't feel out of

178
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:05,000
Speaker 2: it is the truth. Because we have the warning. Still,

179
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 2: I'm taking my dogs everywhere with me because people got

180
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,960
Speaker 2: the evacuation. If you get a mandatory evacuation, we're in

181
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,480
Speaker 2: a warning. Right now, you can't get back into your

182
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,920
Speaker 2: house if your pets are there. They won't let you

183
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,199
Speaker 2: go into your home. It's too dangerous. So the dogs

184
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 2: are with me everywhere. I mean, I have like five

185
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,199
Speaker 2: dogs on my lap drive.

186
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,760
Speaker 1: Wait, let's talk about these unbelievable I already have just

187
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:33,199
Speaker 1: a resting, static, deep admiration for firefighters.

188
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

189
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,679
Speaker 1: But in these situations, they are superheroes. To me, they

190
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:43,600
Speaker 1: are superheroes, and it's all been documented. My feeling that

191
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,720
Speaker 1: they are superheroes is absolutely true. I've seen it on film,

192
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,800
Speaker 1: I've seen it in stills. I mean, what these women

193
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:55,280
Speaker 1: and men are doing to help save people from these

194
00:10:55,320 --> 00:11:01,240
Speaker 1: fires is absolutely herculean. It is superhero shit. And I

195
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,760
Speaker 1: mean I just honestly it makes it. It makes me

196
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,600
Speaker 1: feel really emotional. I know it made me.

197
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,959
Speaker 2: It is amazing. And also I have to shout out.

198
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,560
Speaker 2: Canada and Mexico sent help. I saw the I could

199
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,880
Speaker 2: see from our uh from upstairs, from our bedroom, I

200
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,240
Speaker 2: could see the Canadian super Scoopers, which I had never

201
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,440
Speaker 2: heard of before. And there are these huge planes that

202
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,280
Speaker 2: were going and scooping water from Santa Monica and the

203
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,520
Speaker 2: ocean and bringing it back to the valley and it

204
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:36,720
Speaker 2: felt like it felt like miracle had arrived, like it

205
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 2: felt it just and and and it's not over. Yeah, Yeah,

206
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,480
Speaker 2: it's still happening. They're still fighting what needs to be bought.

207
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,319
Speaker 2: We still have winds.

208
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,640
Speaker 1: Well, we have lots of resources that were lucky to

209
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:49,360
Speaker 1: pull together.

210
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,000
Speaker 2: Yes, please go to our call at what it is Instagram.

211
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,839
Speaker 2: We are going to be putting links to.

212
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,600
Speaker 1: Many different organizations.

213
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, different resources at are helping with all the different

214
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 2: things that people need to be helped with right now.

215
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 2: And so please go check it out. Yeah, and anything

216
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 2: any little amount can can help go a long way

217
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:14,800
Speaker 2: at this point.

218
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:15,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

219
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,920
Speaker 1: And I also, I mean personally, just to throw this

220
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:25,320
Speaker 1: out there, I have multiple friends who have personal friends

221
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,920
Speaker 1: that have forwarded me their go fund me pages. I

222
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,280
Speaker 1: think that when you when you actually know a person

223
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: that knows the person, it gives me great comfort to

224
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,199
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be getting to the right place.

225
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,560
Speaker 1: And I think that there's just there's no too small amount.

226
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,120
Speaker 1: It's it's really just about all coming together and giving

227
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,280
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you can.

228
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,360
Speaker 2: And I have to say that's about Los Angeles. I've

229
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:56,760
Speaker 2: always felt like the city was super magical, and I

230
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,600
Speaker 2: did not grow up here in it. I felt like

231
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:03,960
Speaker 2: very welcomed by this city and the community across the

232
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 2: entire city has come together. There's so much I know,

233
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,920
Speaker 2: it sounds so like cheesy le lab and it feels

234
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,000
Speaker 2: there's so much love happening right now in Los Angeles

235
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,520
Speaker 2: that I don't know. I just had to say that

236
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,720
Speaker 2: because I'm proud of the city.

237
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:33,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.

238
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 1: With that being said, Yes, I We've done an episode

239
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 1: where we were just I mean, lots of stuff comes

240
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,599
Speaker 1: up about parenting and we were talking and I was

241
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,200
Speaker 1: kind of like, Okay, we can talk about how our

242
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,120
Speaker 1: kids drive us nuts or the things that the kids

243
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:50,559
Speaker 1: you know.

244
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,360
Speaker 2: Do, which we've done. We've yeah, we've done yeah.

245
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, You've been very I've brought my full authentic.

246
00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:00,280
Speaker 2: Self to those conversations. Yeah. I probably there's probably my

247
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,160
Speaker 2: Polly shouldn't have said, but I've said it, and the

248
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,520
Speaker 2: okay you it's fine.

249
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay, And it just made me wonder, Mmmm.

250
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:12,040
Speaker 2: That's the possible.

251
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 4: I know.

252
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,200
Speaker 2: Oh is that the first of twenty five the first?

253
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I wonder back guys, we're back.

254
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:27,440
Speaker 1: Wonder I wonder what our kids would say drives them

255
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,240
Speaker 1: nuts about us because I can hear it, and if

256
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,800
Speaker 1: I can, if I can say.

257
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 2: Stop.

258
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,480
Speaker 1: Rude, rude, you should just be grateful.

259
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna edit this down in like two minutes. You're

260
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:44,160
Speaker 2: welcome giving you life there.

261
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, because listen, I think parents can drive kids crazy too.

262
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 1: We see it all the time. And I've been honest,

263
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,360
Speaker 1: there's also some parents that can drive me crazy when

264
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 1: I watch them parenting their.

265
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 2: Kids, and if you know, stop it. But if you

266
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,240
Speaker 2: listen to this pod, you know that Martin Leunnington and

267
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,160
Speaker 2: still drives me crazy. And I am four.

268
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,000
Speaker 1: I sometimes do the awful thing where You'll be in

269
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,360
Speaker 1: a restaurant and I'll be like an infant and it'll

270
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,640
Speaker 1: be crying and crying and crying and crying, and part

271
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,880
Speaker 1: of me really just wants to be like, just give

272
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 1: me the baby, Just give me the baby. Y, do

273
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 1: you have a baby, I'm going to help you out here,

274
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 1: or I kind of want to say, like the baby's hungry,

275
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 1: just give the baby, give the baby.

276
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,320
Speaker 2: I would love to see that happen, just see I

277
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 2: would start recording that, like you know what go do that?

278
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,640
Speaker 1: Can you imagine I don't know what response I would get.

279
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,640
Speaker 2: No, I wont you of your advice. Back in one

280
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,120
Speaker 2: of our early episodes, I don't know why, when you

281
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,760
Speaker 2: were like, we're like, how do you meet people? And

282
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,880
Speaker 2: you're like, go to the movie theater and strike up

283
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,680
Speaker 2: a conversation, Like why don't you do that, Jess?

284
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you think it's not a good idea to

285
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,600
Speaker 1: take someone's baby and feed.

286
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 2: Them without no. No, So like, next time we're together,

287
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,000
Speaker 2: why don't you be like just go feed them?

288
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, your baby's hung or your mayby's tired, your baby's.

289
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,840
Speaker 2: Tired, you should definitely vocally give advice like that.

290
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 1: Okay, but here's the thing. Parents drive kids crazy, right,

291
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 1: they're constantly nagging, or they're telling you what to do,

292
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 1: or maybe they're not listening to the kid's opinions. Maybe

293
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,840
Speaker 1: they're comparing their kids to other kids, or they're being

294
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: overprotective I get that one, or not respecting their privacy,

295
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 1: not growing with them into their next maturity level and

296
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 1: letting them kind of like bigger up right, or giving

297
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 1: unsolicited advice. And as we know, this can carry on

298
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 1: into your forties. I've spoken about the suggestion box and

299
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:46,880
Speaker 1: when it's been open to my parents being overly controlling

300
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 1: or feeling to see their kids for who they are

301
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 1: or wanting them to be different, and so I, you know,

302
00:16:55,640 --> 00:17:00,120
Speaker 1: I'm sort of curious about, you know, the kids. How

303
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 1: do the kids feel? How do the kids feel about

304
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: the parents I have recently?

305
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 2: I think I don't know if it's doctor Becky there, somebody,

306
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,800
Speaker 2: I mean, what we a Lisa Pressman. We need to

307
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 2: have all the parents.

308
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 1: I want them to so much.

309
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,440
Speaker 2: I did ask the kids. I've asked them a couple

310
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 2: of times now, and I felt like I was doing

311
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 2: such a good parenting job and I was like, you guys, yeah.

312
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 1: You are, you are whatever it was, you are whatever?

313
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, you know. I was like, you guys, it's

314
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,360
Speaker 2: time for mom and dad feedback.

315
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: Why don't you just let us know you send this

316
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 1: to your kids?

317
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, let us know how we can improve.

318
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 2: And it was like such a bullshitty response. I'm asking

319
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,160
Speaker 2: like four and seven year olds.

320
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,480
Speaker 1: They're like, I feel like Hayden probably had like a

321
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 1: list ready to go, and Lucas was kind of what.

322
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 2: It was all bullshit. It was all like, let us

323
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:49,560
Speaker 2: stay up later.

324
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I want candy for bread, and I was like,

325
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: never mind, yeah, yeah, we're not ready for this. Nope, no,

326
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 1: I know what, I'm just kidding. I take it back.

327
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,159
Speaker 1: I don't want your feedback. Okay, was there anything that

328
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 1: your parents drove did that drove you crazy when you.

329
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,199
Speaker 2: Were kidding me?

330
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 1: Are you a million things again? Martin Lueddington, I forgot.

331
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 2: Oh, the luds. The luds, I mean, you know, tweets

332
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 2: their own. I mean, it's it's much easier. My mom

333
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 2: have four kids. You have four kids. You know what

334
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 2: it's like, she have four kids, I would have lost

335
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 2: my mind. And my parents regularly, uh lost their shit,

336
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 2: you know, like it was. You know, we were annoying

337
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 2: and we had a small we were in close quarterers

338
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 2: with them. And I think one of the most annoying

339
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:44,880
Speaker 2: things though, is my dad Martin luds. He does tend

340
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,359
Speaker 2: to think that he is an expert and he's always

341
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:51,439
Speaker 2: been this way on everything. Yeah, that he's had, Like

342
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,400
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter what job, like coding, you I mean,

343
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 2: like he would know how to code. He has, no,

344
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 2: he can't even I don't even know if he knows

345
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 2: how to turn all laptop at this point. But if

346
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 2: I got into coding, he would know the better way

347
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 2: to code. And he's been like that since I was little.

348
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 2: So even when I was like little taking acting.

349
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,159
Speaker 1: Classes, he was doing scene study with you.

350
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,720
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. Yes he would. I would like do

351
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 2: a little like monologue or whatever. And now I'm young,

352
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 2: like twelve, and he'd like, kime, let me just have

353
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:24,639
Speaker 2: a go of this. And you think I'm lying, You

354
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 2: think I'm just like making this a good story. Yeah,

355
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 2: And his well, he always tells me he's taking on

356
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 2: a character in Little Women. Yeah, he's like Joe Moot,

357
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,719
Speaker 2: hand it over. He tells me that he was in

358
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 2: one fucking play back in high school and it was

359
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 2: like some Shakespeare thing and that was his moment. And

360
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, and so he knows better. And so

361
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: the advice, the advice part of the know it all

362
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 2: advice part was really irritating. What about you growing up? Like,

363
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:56,880
Speaker 2: what was the thing?

364
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 1: Same theme, It's the same theme. It's the unsolicited advice.

365
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 1: It's the lecturing, Like even when they're so well meaning

366
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: and mine all are, you know, like, even when they

367
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 1: really are just doing it for your benefit, it still

368
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: feels like a lecture when you're a teenager. And then

369
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 1: I think, because this is just sort of how it goes,

370
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: they as the youth start to gain independence. I feel

371
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 1: like I do this in my own parenting. You like

372
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,199
Speaker 1: see this window closing, and you're like, oh my god,

373
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 1: I need to download all this important information otherwise my

374
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: child is going to perish in the world. And so

375
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: I need to like get it all in, even though

376
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,719
Speaker 1: I was putting it in for the past, yes whatever,

377
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: however many years, but I need to really really cram

378
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 1: it in now. And I feel like that last horizon

379
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: is usually like sex and alcohol or.

380
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 2: Draw and our drugs. Right, Okay, so let me ask

381
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 2: you this question. If if you have a conversation with

382
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: your kids about sex, do they want to die a

383
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 2: little bit inside?

384
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm assuming they probably do.

385
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 2: Okay, we had Luke and Eve, those are her two

386
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: oldest kiddos. If we had them on the show right

387
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 2: now and we said, what is the thing that mom

388
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 2: does that annoys you the most? What do you think

389
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: their answers would be?

390
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 1: It's actually not the open conversations about the sex or alcohol.

391
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 1: I like, I will buy that. Maybe I'm totally wrong,

392
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,479
Speaker 1: but I always kind of think that I come in

393
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,719
Speaker 1: low pro like not too smooth, not like, guys, I

394
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: got this, but like I feel like.

395
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 2: I do think you have it.

396
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah you were by the way, remember when you were

397
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 1: in the car and huh.

398
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys had a great we.

399
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: Were having a conversation, and I think I'm pretty good

400
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 1: at just like listening. Yeah, and then yeah, then I

401
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: share my feelings if I get my feelings hurt or

402
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: if I've hurt feelings, I deeply believe in the in

403
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: the repair and the reset and or getting a redo

404
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: like I might have totally shit the bed on that one,

405
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 1: let's take it back. So yeah, I feel like I

406
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: have an open suggestion box for them. Doesn't mean I'm

407
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 1: always gonna, you know, the regularity with which I read

408
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: the suggestions.

409
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: It's open, but it's dusty.

410
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: It's a little dusty.

411
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know.

412
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that uh, I think the things

413
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: that start to become Because I said this before and

414
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 1: you really didn't like it, but little kids, little problems,

415
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: big kids, big problems.

416
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 2: Right, I don't like it, I know, but I'm just saying,

417
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 2: like little kids.

418
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: You're there at the park with them, saying like don't

419
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: go down the slide right behind someone so that you

420
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 1: know you don't have a pile up or you hurt

421
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: each other. And that would really just be like an ouch.

422
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,199
Speaker 1: But then when they get big, you're talking about you know,

423
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: you're talking about sex, you're talking about alcohol, you're talking

424
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: about drugs. One of my biggest and the things that

425
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,159
Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I talked about that I think is

426
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: so hard is is the two things can be true.

427
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 1: I can say to you, I don't think you should

428
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: do X Y and Z. I don't want you to

429
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: do X Y and z. If you do X Y

430
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 1: and Z, please know that I'm here to talk to

431
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 1: you about it or help you or pick you up

432
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 1: or all that. Like, it's a very mixed message. I

433
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: think when they get older and it's not just an

434
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: ouch on a slide, it's a real no.

435
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: I know big. I mean you talked about like even

436
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 2: Luke driving. I mean, now you're dealing. I get it,

437
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 2: Like I understand why big problems, right. I don't like it.

438
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it. But driving a car, yeah,

439
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 2: that's that's some serious stuff. Obviously. I have to say

440
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 2: my parents were really good. There was four of us

441
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,919
Speaker 2: and you have you know, your parents have eighteen kids.

442
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 2: They're really good at not hitting sailings against each other.

443
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: We never had that, No, But I think I don't

444
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: know if it was doctor Becky or someone recently, and

445
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 1: they were talking about sibling rivalry. It's not even what

446
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: the parents do to the kids. I mean, I'm sure

447
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 1: there are kids where parents might not handle it in

448
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: the most fist kid way. But even in a family,

449
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 1: if like let's say the parents are really even, like

450
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 1: very even distribution of praise, love, all the things, the

451
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 1: kids are still looking at their siblings, like who's got

452
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 1: the stronger connection?

453
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 2: There's rivalry.

454
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they're like who's in pole position right now.

455
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 2: It's funny though, because I don't I never felt that.

456
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: Did you feel that growing up? I did not feel

457
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 2: that growing up, probably because I felt the best.

458
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that's probably because felt like we were.

459
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

460
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: I was very goal oriented, and I didn't like getting

461
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: in trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble, so getting

462
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 1: inside stuff that as much as I could, I was not. No,

463
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 1: I did not like getting in trouble. I also think

464
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 1: in the disciplining, very early on, I mean what nerd

465
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: buckets we were. But like I truly think Luke was

466
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: six months old when Christopher and I took a parenting

467
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: class and it was with the most amazing woman named

468
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: Mary Hartzel who wrote this incredible book and then she

469
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: wrote another book with this incredible doctor, doctor Dan Siegel.

470
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: But I remember the very most important first class lynch

471
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: pin moment and it was up on the chalkboard or

472
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 1: dry erase board, whatever it was, and it was the

473
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 1: definition of discipline and it is to teach. And I

474
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: remember that staying with me because I think as a kid,

475
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: I really thought discipline was like consequences, Yeah, good old

476
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: fashioned stanking and just being like I am afraid and anyways,

477
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: so I did always think about it. That is sort

478
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: of a launching pad and to discipline with the kids

479
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: where I'm like, okay, if someone if one of the

480
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: kids has done something really naughty or terrible or has

481
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: some big fallout or whatever, like what do they need

482
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: to learn to not do it again? Right? Like what's

483
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: the teaching what's the teaching piece? And each kid is

484
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: different each and because each kid learns differently, so I mean, yeah,

485
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: I think you know.

486
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 2: What I love this is off subject a little bit,

487
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 2: but I'm just like, this is what I love about

488
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 2: us being friends because we're so similar in so many

489
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: ways and we're so different. You took a parenting class

490
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: at nine months old six six, sorry six, way too late.

491
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 2: At nine you would have missed the window. I didn't

492
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: read a single book. I got all the books sent

493
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: to me right like what to expect. Didn't give a shit.

494
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll expect whatever it is it comes

495
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 2: and single Lama's class.

496
00:26:59,520 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

497
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: I just figured I'll get in the room and people

498
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: have been doing this forever, and I'll figure out the

499
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: breathing and I'll just push.

500
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 4: Now.

501
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: Really, I was starting to really understand our trips together.

502
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: When we land in a new house, well, when we

503
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: land in a new city, yeah, And I say, what

504
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: would you like to do? And you're like, I'm just

505
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: like the windw blow us in the right direction. Yeah yeah,

506
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: Or you'll carry me. I'll just jump on your back

507
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: and you'll walk and carry me wherever I need. But

508
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: I need a you.

509
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 2: That's why I need a you, because I would end up,

510
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: you know, on the wrong part of town.

511
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: Well, and I need a willing participant, that's just gonna

512
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: listen to me. Tell them that they're gonna have Tai

513
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: food for dinner tonight.

514
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, sounds good, That's great.

515
00:27:44,480 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 4: I'm allergic to that, but I'm fine.

516
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: Was there anything that your parents did that you actually

517
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: loved that you now might do with your kids.

518
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 2: I loved so many things. I think the main thing

519
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: that I really loved is they truly made me feel

520
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 2: made all of us feel like we could do anything. Yes,

521
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 2: mine too like anything, which is why I came here

522
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: with zero money and was like, Oh, how take it

523
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: in Hollywood? I think it. I mean it might have

524
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 2: been slight delusion, by the way, but delusion is necessary

525
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 2: in that situation for sure, not grandiosity.

526
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: I never thought I was bigger than the moment. Like

527
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: I never thought like, oh, I'm so fantastic. I will

528
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: clearly master this and they will all be watching. I

529
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: just felt that I could meet the challenge, like I

530
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: had the confidence to meet the challenge and know that however,

531
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: I was going to make it through it. I was

532
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: going to make it through it, like I didn't know

533
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: I'd be successful.

534
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 2: Truly, if we're going to call what it is, I

535
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 2: think I had a little bit of grandiosity. You did, Okay,

536
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 2: yeah I did because I came and I when for actors,

537
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: you hear the statistic that it's like, you know, point

538
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: zero zero two percent of people ever even can make

539
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 2: a living out of acting, right, And I came and

540
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: I thought like, I'm gonna take over a stout watch

541
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: out because Camilla's arrived. And I was walking around, truly

542
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 2: with so much confidence that it was going to happen that,

543
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 2: you know, when I was waiting tables and they're like, oh,

544
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: how long have you worked too, I'm like, don't worry

545
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: about it. I'm going to be an actress. It wasn't

546
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 2: about fame, and it wasn't about like winning awards. It

547
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: was just like, this was my calling. I was going

548
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 2: to do it and I'm great at it. But my parents,

549
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 2: my parents made me feel that way. So I want

550
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 2: I want my kids to have that same feeling.

551
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that the possibilities are are are endless for them.

552
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

553
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 1: And if you if you put hard work in, no

554
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:09,479
Speaker 1: matter where you're starting from, I believe that you can

555
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,479
Speaker 1: you can achieve. I don't know what level, but I

556
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: do believe you can achieve. And you and I say

557
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: this about ourselves a lot as adults, even which I

558
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: hope hopefully we've earned. Right is I I don't find

559
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: myself in situations often where I don't believe that it

560
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: won't it won't end up being okay. Like I if

561
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: I get stuck in the mountain, I'm getting down. I

562
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: don't know how it may but it maybe you know.

563
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do it.

564
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it happen.

565
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 2: It's funny you see this because this is off subject too,

566
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 2: but I've I recently read about and well, let's do

567
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: an episode on this because I find it so interesting.

568
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 2: I think part of that for me, that feeling for

569
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 2: me is faith and like the universe figuring it out,

570
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 2: which some people will think it's very woo wo, but

571
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 2: that's how I feel. And I read about this lady

572
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: and she was called the competition Queen, I want to say,

573
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 2: and it was basically it's a woman that came up

574
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 2: with this formula of entering competitions and winning it and

575
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: it was through visualizing, really believing in what was going

576
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 2: to happen. And she won everything she'd entered, including a house,

577
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 2: and she wrote a book and it's the same as

578
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: sort of the secret that you know we all heard

579
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 2: about back in you know, the two thousands. But I

580
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 2: think that you can manifest stuff for yourself. Now we're

581
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: off subject. We need to do a whole manifesting episode.

582
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what that even means, because there's a way

583
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: to do it.

584
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, she has a specific way of doing it.

585
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 2: It's very interesting. Okay, so we threw it out to

586
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 2: the crew.

587
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: We did. Oh, I just want to say this one

588
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: other piece, which is when I think about the times

589
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: that I have made mistakes with my kids, Like I've

590
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 1: actually named a couple of them on the show at

591
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: different episodes. But when I've just gotten it wrong right,

592
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,959
Speaker 1: I've yelled at the wrong kid, or I've been in

593
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: my own personal crisis and taken it out on someone,

594
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: or my patience just wasn't where I wanted it to be.

595
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: I have said it before and I'll say it again.

596
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of the redo. It's not even

597
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: the reset, it's a redo, it's the you know what,

598
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: I really got that wrong? I yelled at you, or

599
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: I blamed you, or I wasn't even listening to you,

600
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: and I got it wrong, and I think that people

601
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: often do get it wrong because that's life, and then

602
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: they think that's it right as parents, like I completely

603
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: fucked up my kid, the moment of be yelling is

604
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: going to live in perpetuity in their mind and it's

605
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: going to shame them and they're going to have issues

606
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: around whatever that issue was for the rest of their life.

607
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: And I think that that's crap. I think that's total bullshit.

608
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: I think you can go back, and it's hard because

609
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: it's not fun to have a reckoning with your own wrongness,

610
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: But I think you really can go back and be like,

611
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: I messed it up, And if I could do it

612
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: over again, I would ask this, I would have said

613
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: this and have that moment, because I do think that

614
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: that's the key to you know, fostering and developing young

615
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: people who can communicate efficiently and talk.

616
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 2: And I had this moment actually about three days ago.

617
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: We'd evacuated. We were out, and my kids have been stuck.

618
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: You know, we only had one day of school here

619
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: in Los Angeles and there everything's shut down. So my

620
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: kids have been together NonStop, right and at this point

621
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 2: they want to kill each other. There's no doubt right.

622
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 2: They're arguing over everything. We were in the car driving

623
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: and I was exhausted and all the things, and they

624
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 2: were arguing. They'd found this little squidgy toy that had

625
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 2: like dog hair on it at the bottom of their

626
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 2: seat in the car, and they decided that that was

627
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: the most important thing they'd ever seen in their lives

628
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 2: and it definitely belonged to them, right, And so this

629
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: argument ensued, and they've been arguing over every single toy

630
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 2: that's mine, now, that's your. You gave it to me,

631
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 2: you promised me that. And I just lost it, Like

632
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 2: I flawn yelled and I was yell. I couldn't stop.

633
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,399
Speaker 2: There was not the decibel was at like explosive right

634
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 2: hours I and it lasted. The yelling lasted a good

635
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 2: three full minutes, like I couldn't stop, and they were stunned.

636
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 2: And I was like, then that's what you get kind

637
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: of thing, you know. Not that I was, but that

638
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 2: was the vibe. And I came. I came back to

639
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 2: where we were staying and I said to Matt, like,

640
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: I feel so guilty because they're in it's like a

641
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: pressure cooker here and it's just of course these arguments are.

642
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 1: Going to happen.

643
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: We're all tired, we're all we've on top of each other.

644
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: And so I bought the kids back in and into

645
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 2: the room and I said, you know, I'm really sorry,

646
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: I'm really stressed out, and I'm really sorry to that

647
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: I had. I had to redo. And it looks at me.

648
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: She's so cude. She's like, mom, I get it. Yeah,

649
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 2: little seven year old. Just like again, they do.

650
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 1: And hopefully given that you are her you know, truest

651
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: north and her role model, and I know how much

652
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: she loves you. You you gave her permission in a

653
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: future moment that she doesn't even know yet to know

654
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: that saying that you were wrong is yeah, the right

655
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: thing to do. Yeah, I just revisit it, and I

656
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: think that it's really people don't say they're wrong. People

657
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: have a really hard time with saying that they're wrong,

658
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: that they got it wrong, or that they need help.

659
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 1: It's hard.

660
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: I actually it is hard. I in my twenties I

661
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 2: really had a hard time saying I was wrong. For sure.

662
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 2: I have learned that it's such a release, honestly, to

663
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 2: admit fault. I think that it like really takes the

664
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: pressure off to be able to say, like own the

665
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 2: stories feels good. It really feels good to be like,

666
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that. I don't know why I said that,

667
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 2: as opposed to like standing your ground in it when

668
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 2: you're when you've reached the point of like you're starting

669
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 2: a question. You know, back in the day, when I

670
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: was like arguing with the boyfriend, it didn't whatever that

671
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,439
Speaker 2: was that I had said. I was like, now you've

672
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 2: got to stick, you know, you've gotta.

673
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: Oh, it's the hell you'll die on. You're not abandoning

674
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: your That's what I'm saying.

675
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 2: You're not abandoning No, no, no, even when they've shown

676
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 2: you the actual proof that you're wrong, You're like.

677
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: That, no, no, no. And I love debate. I'll go,

678
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: I'll go, I'll go all day every day.

679
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 2: Let's go another hill, another one.

680
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: Okay, right, so now back to where our crew. Let

681
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: us know what really annoys them about your parents.

682
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 2: We asked the tweens, the teens, and the adolescents of

683
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,439
Speaker 2: the Call It crew, and here is what they had

684
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: to say.

685
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: Clara said, my parents annoy me so much when they'd

686
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,879
Speaker 1: either tell me that I'm out too much or when

687
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: I stay home that I stay in too much. So

688
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: what exactly am I supposed to do here? Oh, Clara,

689
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: I need more specifics? Yeah, where are you going? And

690
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: then what are you doing when you're home? Because if

691
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: you're like looking off and like playing video games and like,

692
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: you know, acting with a general sloth when you're home,

693
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,800
Speaker 1: then they're there. They might be right to get you.

694
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: I love a sloth, though I know you do.

695
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 1: You're much more slothy than me.

696
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: I'm way more slothy. Okay, I never heard the.

697
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: Term couch rot before.

698
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, bedrot, couch rot. Yeah, it's in baby. Thank god,

699
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:48,720
Speaker 2: I'm finally on trend.

700
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, tell me what Kyla said.

701
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: Kyla said, my mother will ask me what I'm doing,

702
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 2: and I will say I'm sitting down relaxing, and she

703
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 2: will reply, well, I was too funny. Poor woman must

704
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 2: have sore legs and feet. I gotta say this was

705
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: my dad. My dad is someone that if I was

706
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch, I would feel very guilty. He

707
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 2: would vacuum right by my feet around the toes, you know,

708
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: just to make sure I knew that he was up

709
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 2: and doing something that I could have also been doing.

710
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 2: That's why I love. That's why when I have my

711
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: own place now, I love it. I can see the

712
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: couch now. I was going to vacuum my toes.

713
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: I know my family is very much that way too.

714
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: It was like that. I remember there was at one

715
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: point it was like, if you're if you're if you're leaning,

716
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: you should be cleaning. If you're if you've got time

717
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 1: to lean, you've got time to clean. I just want

718
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 1: to lean. I want to lean. Wow, Laura says. Whenever

719
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: my parents get upset about small things in restaurants, like

720
00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: not enough ketchup or something similar, they call the waiter

721
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: and complain and argue. I know they're right because they

722
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 1: paid for the dish, but I feel ashamed when they

723
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: argue in front of everyone because I would have let

724
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,919
Speaker 1: it go. And in those moments, I want the earth

725
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 1: to swallow me up.

726
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 2: I'm with you, Laura, and Laura, I'm with you, and

727
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 2: I have this parent. My dad is a oh yeah,

728
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 2: he's a ketchup complainer, oh big time. In fact, he'll

729
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,879
Speaker 2: look and it's this is a real story. He came

730
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 2: to the restaurant that I was waiting tables at, and

731
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,320
Speaker 2: I waited on him, and he complained to my manager

732
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:35,800
Speaker 2: about me. That's a true story. Well that's real and

733
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 2: lud oh yeah, and it is embarrassing. It's definitely embarrassing

734
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: and they need to chill out, do you know what

735
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 2: I mean. We're not even at a fancy restaurant, you

736
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, we're you know, Chili's. And

737
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 2: he's like, well, yeah.

738
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,880
Speaker 1: Also, I really do believe that people who complain at

739
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: restaurants never worked in restaurants. It's why I feel that

740
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 1: all my kids need to be in food service at

741
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 1: some point, because it teaches you how to treat people

742
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: who are there to be of service. And by the way,

743
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: this isn't to say that I haven't had shitty waiters

744
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: and waitresses.

745
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 2: I have and I have.

746
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: You know, I mean whatever, I think that there's ways

747
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: you can get back.

748
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 2: It's not about like, it's not about you know, your

749
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 2: food's cold and you got to send it back. It's

750
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 2: just there's My dad does it in a way where

751
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 2: he feels as soon as he sits down in that seat,

752
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: he give you it chuck e cheese, and he feels

753
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 2: entitled right like the world is serving him.

754
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

755
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 2: Oh mart, oh god, okay, the mart Okay, Destiny said,

756
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: being overbearing. I'm twenty two and I haven't lived with

757
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 2: my mom since I was nineteen. We're trying to have

758
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 2: a relationship again because I just want a mom and

759
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 2: she just is so narcissistic and overbearing. I don't know

760
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: how to have a normal relationship with her when she

761
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 2: can't see her own faults. It's hot. This is like

762
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: the sorry part really right.

763
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: Like, well, I mean, I don't know if we're ready

764
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: to go into this, but I'm really desperate to have

765
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: a guest whose name is mel Robbins talk about her

766
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: let them theory.

767
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: What's the let them theory?

768
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 1: Well, I really want to have her on to describe,

769
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: but I will just say in this instance, I would

770
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: say that, I mean, everybody wants to have a mom,

771
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: But if your mom is narcissistic and overbearing and can't

772
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: get out of her own way, you kind of just

773
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: got a letter and then it's up to you what

774
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 1: kind of relationship you want to have with that. Like,

775
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: if she's gonna always, if she's being her right, that's

776
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: truly who she is, then you're likely not going to

777
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: change her.

778
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 2: So to let them is almost like the letting go

779
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 2: of trying to change them in a way it's hard.

780
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, two step process, which is there is because you

781
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: could just become a doormat if you really just let

782
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: everyone do everything right. It's a let them, like, let

783
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: them be who they're gonna be, right, the friend that's

784
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: always late, the friend that doesn't show up for you,

785
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: the parent that behaves in such a way to let them,

786
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: let them be who they are. But then it's let

787
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 1: me figure out whether or not I want to participate

788
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 1: in it, or what boundary I want to be put

789
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: up and be like I don't want to like when

790
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 1: you make everything about you or when you're telling me

791
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,839
Speaker 1: everything that's wrong with me and what I should do.

792
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: I have a choice. I don't have to be with you,

793
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 1: and the chances of me changing you are pretty small

794
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: given human behavior. So I just think that I've been

795
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: thinking about it a lot, and it really does seem

796
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 1: to kind of like permeate every circumstance between being like

797
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: annoyed in the checkout line by the person who's you know,

798
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 1: putting their groceries on the belt at a glacial pace. Yeah,

799
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: you just like interrupt the cycle and you're like let

800
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 1: them I'm just gonna take a breath. I'm gonna pick

801
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: up my phone and maybe do something I wasn't going

802
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: to do before. But like, okay, like I'm not going

803
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 1: to control this when am I gonnah and puff behind

804
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 1: them like I'm gonna like what are you gonna do?

805
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: There's certain things you just gotta let go. Okay, we

806
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 1: need it on, yes I do.

807
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: Please please mell Robin's now, Robin's your next.

808
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: Okay. So Petro wrote in and said, my parents change

809
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 1: the Netflix password when they're mad at my siblings and I.

810
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: It's immature and silly, and I'm with them.

811
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 2: That's quite funny. That's quite good.

812
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: Actually, I think that's a great idea.

813
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,280
Speaker 2: I'm sure that's funny. That is so annoying.

814
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: It is.

815
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 2: It is immature and silly, and I'm gonna support it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.

816
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: Oh I'm doing it.

817
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

818
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: I'm doing it.

819
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: Okay. Lauren said, whenever we go on holiday as a family,

820
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,760
Speaker 2: my parents suddenly lose all sense of direction and common sense.

821
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: How we ever got anywhere when we were younger is

822
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 2: a mystery. That's really funny and so annoying.

823
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 3: I think that.

824
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: Then they they need you to become the team leader.

825
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: They're just they need you to get out your phone.

826
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 2: Like like I do when we go play. You're just

827
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 2: google maps it. I'm speaker. That's very funny, Lauren, I'm sorry,

828
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 2: but yeah, that is funny, okay.

829
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: Inter Ellie says when they act like they didn't do

830
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: anything wrong when they were younger, or when they act

831
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 1: like they didn't do much worse things than we're doing.

832
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: I know my parents misbehaved as teens. They were not perfect.

833
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 2: That's true.

834
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: They weren't perfect.

835
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: No one was no, no, no.

836
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: Some stupid shit, And I hope all I can do,

837
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: honestly is really just pray that my kids don't do

838
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: as much stupid shit as I do did.

839
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not at that point yet where I have

840
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 2: teens where I have to figure out, like I put

841
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: myself in some pretty bad jam, I know, like to

842
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 2: what extent do you share how how stupid you were?

843
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: Uh huh?

844
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 2: Do you mention it all? Do you say it all? Or

845
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 2: do you sort of? Is there a censorship inappropriate?

846
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 1: It started to come out because again I am a

847
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 1: seventeen year old and I have a fourteen year old. Yeah,

848
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: I found myself in a super like moment because I

849
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: have to tell me, I gotta walk my talk. And

850
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeaven with my kids and I'm honest with.

851
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 2: Them, and.

852
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: There's a moment where they're like, so, how old were

853
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: you and you had sex?

854
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 2: And You're like, god, you're like one.

855
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: Thirty damn And I am sex positive right, and I go,

856
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: but I'm not the thing. All this shit really like

857
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: comes that flies in your face because you're like, oh

858
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: my gosh, the things I say don't actually match the

859
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: things that I would do, or my idea being sex positive,

860
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: or my idea that everyone should have a healthy relationship

861
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: with sex and the connection and everything all the bloody

862
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But then you're like, my baby, You're like,

863
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 1: because these young people are just babies.

864
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, it's a lot.

865
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like that.

866
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,799
Speaker 2: I got to figure out. I thought everything moves up

867
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,240
Speaker 2: a little bit, right, you got to add two years,

868
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 2: two or three years to everything. When there's the first

869
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 2: time you drank. I've never drink never, Okay, Carmel said,

870
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 2: this might sound dumb, but it makes me upset when

871
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 2: my parents open my door to talk. Then don't close

872
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 2: the door when they leave. I find it so rude.

873
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: That's a big teenager move. The teenager move. Yes, you've

874
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 2: got to reclose the door.

875
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: The threshold moment when it's almost like true whenever it happens,

876
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: it happens completely until it's over. But they go from

877
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: being totally down to have whatever door open whenever, yeah,

878
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: to being like, as you're walking out the door, can

879
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 1: you please close my door?

880
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 2: And oh my god, wow, okay, of where's have you

881
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 2: ever such a rejection? Have you ever knocked on the

882
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 2: door to go in and they've not let you in?

883
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 3: No?

884
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, okay no. But I actually and Christopher

885
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 1: and I are different in this way. I always do knock.

886
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: I might, I might knock and then open like it

887
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 1: might need one motion. But I always give like a

888
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 1: little bit of a I'm coming. I'm not worried that

889
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: they're hiding anything. I just I believe in privacy.

890
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean there could be changing or something too.

891
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:43,399
Speaker 1: You can make it.

892
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: In your room, right does CHRISTA would do like the Seinfeld,

893
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 2: like you know that guy's Seinfeld that like slid in

894
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 2: with the door, just open it a little bamboozle.

895
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, just open it.

896
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's a bamboozle. Yeah. I don't know. Man and I.

897
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: If Man and I had this conversation right now, I'm

898
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: telling you, he'd be like, I'm not knocking. Yeah, but

899
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 2: it's gonna change.

900
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 1: It's gonna change, and your kids change it for you too,

901
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 1: because some of them won't.

902
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 3: They just won't.

903
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: That will not be okay with them.

904
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,800
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna hear. We're gonna get that the suggestion box.

905
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 2: We'll get the feedback, get the feedback back.

906
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: Michaela wrote in and she said, I'm nineteen and a

907
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: sophomore in college. My parents still track my phone and

908
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: call me when I'm out late. I understand it's out

909
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 1: of love and they want to protect me, but they

910
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 1: use it against me. They also pay for my school,

911
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: So at what point is it not okay anymore for

912
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 1: them to stalk me?

913
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,919
Speaker 2: Mikaela, this is what I'm going to be doing. I will,

914
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 2: but we've talked about this. I'm a tracker, yeah, and

915
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,720
Speaker 2: it's probably and call on you're out, I mean, nineteen

916
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 2: year in college. I don't know if I'm assuming that

917
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 2: you're in college and that's what you're talking about Yeah,

918
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 2: I'm not going to call them if they're out late,

919
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 2: probably just because I won't know. But am I going

920
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: to track? Yeah, I'm tracking.

921
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 1: I have a conflicted relationship with this.

922
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 2: I know we we we were not the same. You're

923
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 2: on a tracker?

924
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: Really well no, but I well, I think my conflicted

925
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: relationship is I am I mean, in my heart of heart,

926
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 1: it's what I want to do. Is I want to know.

927
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to check the tracking.

928
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 1: I just want to know that if we were in

929
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 1: a situation where on a expected communication wasn't happening right,

930
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: like hey where are you and I didn't hear back,

931
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: and then it was like really abnormal and they weren't

932
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: answering me, I would want to know that I could

933
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: track them. He also just I've heard so many stories

934
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 1: about the tracking being able to really make a difference

935
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 1: for someone who is in a little bit of trouble.

936
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: Of course, so as much as I mean, Mikayla, I listen,

937
00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: I don't. I would hope to not use the tracking

938
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: against my child, but I would hope to use the

939
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 1: tracking for my child, like to to help, not to

940
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 1: like penalize or.

941
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the the penalizing is annoying

942
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 2: unless you're lying. If you're like, hey, I'm at Ralph's

943
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 2: grabbing a sandwich and then you can see that you're

944
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 2: downtown at the club.

945
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: That would happened to me as a kid. Hold on,

946
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: I'm just ordering my I'm sorry, ordered my frozen yogurt.

947
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:36,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not a double so like what kind of

948
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 2: yoga is that?

949
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,800
Speaker 1: It's no, you don't.

950
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 2: Worry about it. No, I I'm gonna be a bad tracker.

951
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 2: I already know, like you know the little like you

952
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 2: know the little I've the Apple trackers. I'm gonna be

953
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 2: putting those. I'm gonna dig out a little hole in her.

954
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 2: You're gonna tacks. I'm gonna air attack or.

955
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: STI people who their kids, especially at like Disneyland or whatever.

956
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 2: Oh air tags all over show? Are you kidding?

957
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:01,399
Speaker 3: Yeah?

958
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Lise. When my parents compare how they were

959
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: as young adults compared to my generation, which is gen

960
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: Z like getting a house at a young age, or

961
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: not being sensitive work ethic, et cetera. Like, clearly we

962
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: are living in different times. Rent was a dollar fifty

963
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: back then and now it's a million.

964
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 2: Dollars for a one bedroom.

965
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,720
Speaker 1: Gen Z is more emotionally aware and outspoken, not sensitive

966
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: in finding work is a lot more competitive, with everyone

967
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: requiring years of experience. It drives me nets. Please don't compare.

968
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: Times are different, that's true. You gotta grow, Yeah, you

969
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: gotta come on.

970
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:38,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, though, I'm you know, I'm of the millennials,

971
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: and we can relate to this. I think the millennial

972
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 2: parents are not the it's the boomers really that had

973
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 2: that like amazing situation where the rent was a dollar fifty.

974
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they all worked really hard.

975
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 2: It was really hard. It works really hard, really hard.

976
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 2: And I walked miles to school.

977
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. And they had babies young.

978
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 2: Yeah they did. Yeah, and that they had a house.

979
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: Things were just so much more. I mean, good news,

980
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: bad news. Things were so much more.

981
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe stable, I don't know what the

982
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 2: word is.

983
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like the like there wasn't as much possibility

984
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: to be something outside of what had come before you.

985
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: It was like there was a prescription on some level,

986
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: like what was going to happen. You were going to

987
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,280
Speaker 1: have you were gonna get married, you were gonna have kids,

988
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: and all that stuff.

989
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: The expectations maybe were different, is what you're saying.

990
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because my generation would be

991
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 1: the one that then is in that Sandwich generation where yeah,

992
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: we didn't have I mean I was still pretty young

993
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 1: when I had kids, but a lot of people in

994
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 1: my generation didn't have kids until they were in their thirties.

995
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:50,280
Speaker 1: And now they've got parents that are aging and maturing

996
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 1: at the same time that they're really raising young kids.

997
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: So yeah, sort of that's the generation that has a

998
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 1: hard time figuring out how to take care of themselves.

999
00:52:59,600 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1000
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the Sammy NAMMY's Okay, Courtney, say, ah.

1001
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 2: My dad still buys me dolls. I am twenty three

1002
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 2: years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items. What are we

1003
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 2: talking about here, like a what do we like? A

1004
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 2: Cafish patch? What do we say?

1005
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:24,439
Speaker 1: American girl?

1006
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 4: Doll?

1007
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 2: American girl.

1008
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 1: That's cute, though, I mean, but I can see very annoying.

1009
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're twenty three, yeah, that's pretty annoying. Yeah,

1010
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: it is annoying, all right, Hannah, I'm with you, Courtney.

1011
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,760
Speaker 1: Hannah said, Hey, Jess and Camilla, I'm sixteen, almost seventeen,

1012
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 1: and something my parents do that absolutely makes me insane

1013
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: is when I have my AirPods in listening to music

1014
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,760
Speaker 1: and they insist on having a conversation. If I don't

1015
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: have them in, it's silent, But for some reason they

1016
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 1: choose to talk to me about things while I'm mid

1017
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift. It's so annoying. How do I tell them

1018
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 1: to stop in a way that doesn't mean As a

1019
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 1: future surgeon who looks up to your characters.

1020
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,839
Speaker 2: I love the pod and Grace, I love you, well,

1021
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 2: we love a future surgeon, Yes we do.

1022
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I would just I think I would like

1023
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: point to the ear. I would like point to my

1024
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 1: ear and be like, yeah, I can't hear you.

1025
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 2: Oh, because that's gonna go down. Well, like you're a

1026
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: sixteen year old and your mom's like and you're like,

1027
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 2: I just sorry, these are in Yeah, that's gonna be

1028
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 2: definitely respected. Sorry, just just literally tap on them. Just

1029
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 2: so annoying. This is this is tale as old as time.

1030
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 2: Don't think I didn't have a CD, A Walkman, yep,

1031
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 2: a CD, little disc Man Discman and the things on.

1032
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,240
Speaker 2: And I mean those things were obvious, you can even

1033
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 2: they weren't hidden whatsoever. And the parents still wanted to

1034
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 2: have a convo, and I was mid you know the

1035
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 2: Britney Spears.

1036
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, hit, maybe one more time.

1037
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of the Maybe it's this, maybe

1038
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 2: you announce like, hey guys, I'm gonna listen to my

1039
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: album right now. I'm just meaning a little peace to myself.

1040
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 1: So there's a.

1041
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: Little announcement that happens. Hey guys, I'm gonna take this

1042
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 2: time to like listen to my music. Do you guys

1043
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: have any questions for me? Right now? Ray? Great? Me

1044
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 2: and Taylor are off to the races. Okay, Clarissa, I'm

1045
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 2: the middle child. Shout out to middle children. Hello, and

1046
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 2: a family of five. Me and my oldest sister are

1047
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 2: only fourteen months apart, meaning we are practically treated like twins. However,

1048
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 2: I am the total opposite of her. While she is

1049
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 2: valedictorian and studying to be an engineer. I do decent

1050
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:42,320
Speaker 2: in school and do theater while studying journalism. What drives

1051
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: me nuts is we are constantly told that we have

1052
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 2: the support of everyone, but I have been called the

1053
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,400
Speaker 2: figure it out, do it yourself kid, meaning I don't

1054
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 2: have the support of my family. Favoritism is the word

1055
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:57,839
Speaker 2: for it. My mom will spend hours of her day

1056
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 2: cleaning my sister's room and doing her homework. But for me,

1057
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 2: I get scolded that my room is a mess. What

1058
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 2: should I do? I want an out, But at the

1059
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 2: same time, they are my family. Well, the cleaning of

1060
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 2: the room is Derella. Yes, seriously, the Cinderella story. I

1061
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,359
Speaker 2: don't like the cleaning of the room. That does feel

1062
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 2: like favoritism. And I think that that's a conversation. If

1063
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,439
Speaker 2: you haven't had that, you bring up that's a suggestion box.

1064
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it sounds like it sounds like a

1065
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: team meeting.

1066
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 2: This does not. But also I don't understand why you're

1067
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 2: to figure it out do it yourself. Well, I don't

1068
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 2: understand why your family is in supporting you.

1069
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 1: I think you need some answers. I think you need

1070
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: a team meeting, and I think you need to just

1071
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 1: I love the eye statements. I feel like, yes is

1072
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,760
Speaker 1: what happens, And I don't want to feel this way,

1073
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 1: but I do feel this way, and like, what can

1074
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: we do to help me not feel this way?

1075
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 2: Yes, I would hope that if Hayden was feeling this

1076
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 2: way that we could have a team meeting. They should

1077
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 2: because sometimes I think that parents. You're in a family

1078
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 2: of five, right, the chaos is probably happening. I feel

1079
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 2: like sometimes parents just are not in their own resilient

1080
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 2: zone and know what's going on and are tracking all

1081
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 2: of the things, and they might not even be aware

1082
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 2: of how this is making you feel. So a sit

1083
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 2: down convo and hopefully they're open to it. Clarissa, Yeah,

1084
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 2: you're real.

1085
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: If you lead with your feelings, I would imagine that

1086
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 1: most people you know would lean into the conversation. And

1087
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 1: I don't think that any parent is intending to have

1088
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: that be the story that you tell about your family.

1089
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 1: No want that now.

1090
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I love hearing all these me too.

1091
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,479
Speaker 2: It feels good to be back you guys. I'm gonna

1092
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest when I was don't lie. I'm

1093
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: not lying. I'm gonna call it what it is. Today,

1094
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 2: I wanted to just be in bed, That's all I

1095
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 2: wanted to do. It's been a week and I just

1096
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 2: wanted to call into bed and fall asleep because I

1097
00:57:54,680 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 2: love my bed and avoid the world. And this has

1098
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 2: forced me to not do that, and I'm very grateful.

1099
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very nice to be back with you. You know,

1100
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: I had to do one on my own, and it

1101
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 1: wasn't as much fun.

1102
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 2: I loved Brookshields.

1103
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: She was fun and she was fantastic. She brought a

1104
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: ton to it, but I missed my girl.

1105
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 3: Well.

1106
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 2: I listened to that podcast, and I was hoping you'd

1107
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 2: be terrible by yourself and it would be very obvious

1108
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,919
Speaker 2: that you like desperately need me. And it was annoyingly good.

1109
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 2: It actually did irritate me a little bit.

1110
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: Well, take the compliment, but I will hope that we

1111
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 1: do not find ourselves faced with that situation again.

1112
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no no, I don't want

1113
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 2: to do it about myself.

1114
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: We're peanut butter and jelly. To say, I named all

1115
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,479
Speaker 1: the things, What would you say that we were? I said,

1116
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 1: peanut butter and jelly.

1117
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 2: Who are you? Which one are you though? The peanut butter,

1118
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 2: the jelly. I don't think you about this Jelly.

1119
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what.

1120
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 2: We've gotta figure out which one we are? Call it crew.

1121
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 2: Who's peanut? Who's the peanut butter?

1122
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: I think I'm a smooth, kind of like salty sweet

1123
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: peanut butter.

1124
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 2: I was thinking you're the peanut butter.

1125
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: Probably.

1126
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1127
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: Is not funny how it becomes obvious what you are.

1128
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,440
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because you're a little you've got

1129
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 2: a little bit more together than I have. Oh, call

1130
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 2: it crew.

1131
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 1: We love you, we missed you, We missed you, We

1132
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 1: love you. That's manifest a great, great, fantastic twenty twenty five.

1133
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: And please please please hit up our call it what

1134
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 2: it is Instagram page and look at the resources that

1135
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:42,880
Speaker 2: we've posted. And to send California some some love right.

1136
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: Now, so much love, a heart full of love and

1137
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: a big, big, big hook. Wrap your arms around, California,

1138
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 1: and this too shall pass.

1139
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: All right, let's call it the end of the episode.

1140
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 3: Keep and eat.