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Speaker 1: Hi. I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and

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Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling Railvalry. No, no,

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Speaker 1: sibling val don't do that with your mouth, sibling Revelry.

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Speaker 1: That's good. Hello, it's me. It's Oliver Hudson, one of

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Speaker 1: your two hosts from Sibling Revelry. We're missing one. We're

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Speaker 1: missing the other Hudson, the Kate Hudson. The Kate Hudson

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Speaker 1: is in Greece right now making a movie. She's working.

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Speaker 1: The bro is taking over. We're gonna make it. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna make it great. I mean maybe, just maybe we're

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Speaker 1: gonna get some comments that say, hey, you know what,

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Speaker 1: you just do it on your own. Probably not, but Kate,

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Speaker 1: I love you, I miss you. You know you're making

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Speaker 1: the world a better place by being in an action comedy.

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Speaker 1: So to replace Kate, I have an extremely in depth

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Speaker 1: interview into our relationship because this is this is the

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Speaker 1: path that we're going to take for this particular episode.

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Speaker 1: Is my beautiful wife, Aaron Hudson. She is here, she

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Speaker 1: is with me, she is sitting next to me saying Hi, Hi, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So what we're gonna do here is I'm going to

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Speaker 1: interview her. I'm going to ask her questions about me,

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Speaker 1: things that I think I know about myself, things I

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Speaker 1: think that you know, I think that she might think

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Speaker 1: about me. Maybe she doesn't, I don't know. And we're

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Speaker 1: going to get into the depths of our relationships starting

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Speaker 1: from the beginning. And I might have a few questions

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Speaker 1: for you, and she might have a few questions for

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Speaker 1: me as well. So let's get started, babe. I need

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Speaker 1: your age, okay, your weight, your height? Why? First of all,

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Speaker 1: this is what we do with all of our guests. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So when was the first time that you noticed me?

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Speaker 1: Let's see it first time I noticed you. It's actually

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Speaker 1: the first time I met you in Sandy Marshall's acting class.

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Speaker 1: You were in the front row. I was in the

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Speaker 1: way back. We had it. Did have a mutual friend,

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Speaker 1: Mark Rose. I'm sure you mentioned him before in your podcast,

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Speaker 1: and he introduced us just as his friend. This is Oliver.

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Speaker 1: I definitely thought you were cute, but it was not

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Speaker 1: my style or vibe. I wasn't your type. Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: was your type? I don't know at the time, a

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Speaker 1: little more like East Coast, maybe a little like preppy

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Speaker 1: khaki's white T shirt and what did I what did

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Speaker 1: I look like? You had on like vintage levies, like

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Speaker 1: a rock or tea and like a black leather jacket,

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Speaker 1: very rock and roll, very like kind of long hair,

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Speaker 1: very cool. But and then I remember we had a

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Speaker 1: few classes together and I remember like smiling at Mark, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's kind of cute, and Mark's like he's dating someone,

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Speaker 1: He's in a relationship and it's serious, and I was like, okay, cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But then we got paired together to do a scene,

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Speaker 1: so we had to rehearse this scene together. So we

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Speaker 1: were meeting up every week at someone's house and going

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Speaker 1: over this scene because we were supposed to put it

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Speaker 1: up at some sort of a showcase. So we really

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Speaker 1: kind of got to know each other. And that's when

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Speaker 1: you started to fall in love with me. I definitely, yes,

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Speaker 1: started to shoot find some qualities that I was attracted to.

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Speaker 1: Was there anything that you did to you were like

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Speaker 1: ugh in the beginning? Physically no, I mean I just was,

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Speaker 1: like I said, kind of like style and you know,

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Speaker 1: but then obviously it was you know, just our connection

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Speaker 1: and it was kind of your sense of humor, our

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Speaker 1: back and forth, like just the energy of being around you.

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Speaker 1: I remember saying to my best friend Jackie at the time,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, this kind of like

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Speaker 1: feels weird, but I'm like nerve to go in and

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Speaker 1: see him. She was dropping me off. Yeah, And then

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Speaker 1: that just that feeling was kind of there where I

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Speaker 1: knew and then I was kind of like thinking about you.

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Speaker 1: But I think because you had a girlfriend, it allowed

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Speaker 1: us to kind of be friends and know that there

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Speaker 1: was no awkwardness of like trying to you know, get

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Speaker 1: to know somebody, or when there's the openness of like ooh,

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Speaker 1: we're two single people, it immediately creates something different. And

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Speaker 1: this was like, oh, all right, he has a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: And she was beautiful and a Buddhist and you know,

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Speaker 1: part of the family band she was. She was and

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Speaker 1: you know, you were very attractive. I mean you were hot,

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Speaker 1: so hot, and then but I was good. But it

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Speaker 1: was a very flirty friendship, very flirty, you know, I

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Speaker 1: mean that was just our thing. I mean from the beginning,

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Speaker 1: it was playful and it was flirty, but it was

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Speaker 1: a flirty, safe because I kind of knew, like and

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Speaker 1: you were doing it. I did. I was gonna lead

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Speaker 1: you on because I knew you couldn't be with me.

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Speaker 1: You were doing your kind of charming thing that you do,

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Speaker 1: which is what is that just wanting everybody to fall

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Speaker 1: in love with you. That's a deeper psychological issue. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we can get to that one there. But no, you

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Speaker 1: did try to like send me up with your friend.

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Speaker 1: I did. I thought Aaron was so beautiful and fun

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Speaker 1: and all of that. I was trying to set her

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Speaker 1: up with my friends, even though I knew that that

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Speaker 1: wouldn't happen, and I didn't want that to happen anyway,

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Speaker 1: you know. And then she was she had a little

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Speaker 1: crew of girls that she would roll around with and

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Speaker 1: they'd show up at the clubs and the bars, and

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Speaker 1: they'd be wearing like their white like tank tops, and

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Speaker 1: you know, they're like dog collar chokers. And they had

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Speaker 1: this whole little crew cruising around all the celebrities homes

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Speaker 1: after hours. And then she had a boyfriend and then

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Speaker 1: they broke up and she was heartbroken. And then she

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Speaker 1: comes out and hangs out with me, and I think

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Speaker 1: it's on. I'm like, oh, my God, We're finally going

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Speaker 1: to like make it happen. And it didn't. It didn't.

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Speaker 1: She just needed consoling. But I guess the nice part

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Speaker 1: about that was you came to me for that, for

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Speaker 1: whatever reason I did, because I had a friend. You know,

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Speaker 1: we had a friendship. We talked on the phone for

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Speaker 1: like hours at a time, and like, yeah, there was

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Speaker 1: something we were definitely friends about a year and a

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Speaker 1: half prior. Yeah, and you knew about Simon and when

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Speaker 1: I called you when we broke up. I called you

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Speaker 1: when we broke up. Remember, I was like reading about

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Speaker 1: him and Jamie Presley, like as I was getting on

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Speaker 1: an airplane. Yeah, I was like, oh my god. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: at the same time I was reading f hm, you

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Speaker 1: were talking about joining the Mile High Club with Simon

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Speaker 1: and your family had to read all that, Yes they did.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about that for a second. Let's keep moving on. No,

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Speaker 1: we'll keep moving So anyway, I experience with Simon and

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Speaker 1: her parents, who are very East Coast, you know, a

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Speaker 1: little more conservative, had to read this article. The interviewer

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Speaker 1: got me wasted. Just start parent's families. Number one, they

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Speaker 1: follow everything that she does. They literally have clippings of

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Speaker 1: her Aaron was like Miss teen Massachusetts. She was like

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Speaker 1: runner up for Miss teen America or whatever. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she was a pageant girl. And then she moved. She

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Speaker 1: goes to she goes to Miami and she models, and

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Speaker 1: she's all hot model girl and dating bad boys. Bad

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Speaker 1: boy who's now in jail. But your parents would clip

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Speaker 1: out every little thing and then keep it up. And

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Speaker 1: then the FHM article comes out and she literally is

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Speaker 1: talking about in explicit, sort of graphic detail about how

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Speaker 1: she had an experience in an airplane bathroom. I can't

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Speaker 1: even imagine imagine reading that about Rio. Imagine that. I

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Speaker 1: think I've warned them not to read it. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you know. So oh then then then it all then well,

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Speaker 1: then we had a few months before we actually got together,

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Speaker 1: both being single, because in my mind, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you've been in a relationship. You started to, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: pretty much date I hook up with every girl in

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Speaker 1: LA and I was like, I'm gonna let him kind

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Speaker 1: of ride that out. And I also didn't want to

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Speaker 1: like ruin what we had a little bit. I knew

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Speaker 1: our chemistry was going to be kind of like an

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Speaker 1: all or nothing. This wasn't going to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: let's like first base, second base, you know, first date,

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Speaker 1: third date. I knew that wasn't going to happen. We

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Speaker 1: had too much history, too much chemistry, and it didn't.

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Speaker 1: First night I just knew. I also was like a

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Speaker 1: grand slam. Yeah, but I knew that if I did

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Speaker 1: that too quickly, I would I just didn't want to

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Speaker 1: be like another girl that you got or well what

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Speaker 1: happened was too with on my end of things is like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was having a good time and Aaron

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Speaker 1: was part of the good time with other people. I mean,

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Speaker 1: not all of us together, but you know, clarify that please,

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Speaker 1: And but I was just starting to really like Aaron

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Speaker 1: and at some point I had to eliminate everybody else

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Speaker 1: from the rotation. Is that your favorite word? I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say that. Well, the early two thousands, so

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Speaker 1: now that's not appropriate, but oh yeah, I mean it was.

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Speaker 1: But then but I had to lay down the law.

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Speaker 1: I remember, I know, because there was an exclusivity issue

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Speaker 1: or or a conversation. But that was after Vegas, because

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Speaker 1: we went to Vegas. Vegas was crazy. Vegas is where

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Speaker 1: everything happened. Okay, Vegas is where we fell in love.

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Speaker 1: Now were we chemically helped? I mean maybe we were

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Speaker 1: there for the Super Bowl. It was three nights of

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Speaker 1: just insanity. I was cruising around Caesar's Palace and like

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Speaker 1: in like a silk Superman robe. We're doing cartwheels in

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Speaker 1: the hallway all night long, all day long. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was really a beautiful experience. And we were with

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Speaker 1: all of our friends. We're having the best time ever.

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Speaker 1: And we were in a hotel room and we were

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Speaker 1: playing Truth or Dare and I asked Aaron true and

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Speaker 1: we were thirteen. Yeah, yeah, but I asked Aaron. She

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Speaker 1: said truth, And I said, they said do you love me?

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Speaker 1: Are you in love with me? And she looked at me,

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Speaker 1: I think, and then you nodded your head and you

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Speaker 1: said yeah yeah. I also like exstious sleep flowing for

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Speaker 1: my butt body. Like if like the you know, room

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Speaker 1: surface guy came and said it, I would have been like,

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Speaker 1: I love you too, you love me? But but I did.

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Speaker 1: It was a year and a half of build up.

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Speaker 1: It was a year and a half of belting a friendship.

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Speaker 1: Hours on the phone, and I remember Alex, our friend. Alex,

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Speaker 1: was also like, dude, that's fucked up that you would

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Speaker 1: ask her that question like that, I remember my what,

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Speaker 1: and the psychology for me behind that is obviously I

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Speaker 1: was way too afraid to say it myself. You know.

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Speaker 1: I wanted her to say it first, because you know,

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Speaker 1: then I wouldn't have to be hurt if she in

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Speaker 1: fact didn't say it back to me or didn't love me.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think I said I love you back.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you did. No, I don't think it

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Speaker 1: was like that. No. So we had an incredible time

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Speaker 1: in Vegas, and then we came home and had to

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Speaker 1: and had to discover whether or not it was real,

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Speaker 1: you know, outside of just that insanity. Yeah, but the

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Speaker 1: insanity ensued, really, I mean even it was just a said,

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Speaker 1: it ensued. I mean it was just a good time.

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Speaker 1: It was before like emails and real cell phones, and

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Speaker 1: it was just a young you know, not a lot

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Speaker 1: of responsibility. We're both just kind of you know mm hmm,

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Speaker 1: going on auditions and like going to clubs. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was a time. It was a really fun, crazy time.

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Speaker 1: But I remember coming home home and thinking, all right,

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Speaker 1: like I knew this would happen. We finally like are

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Speaker 1: together physically, it's on all I'm doing is thinking about

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Speaker 1: this guy. And you know, in my mind, I think

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Speaker 1: I was like, all right, like I don't want to

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Speaker 1: just be one of those girls. I don't want this

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Speaker 1: to die out. I don't want to like have him

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Speaker 1: be like, oh I finally got her and now I'm good.

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Speaker 1: And I've always had kind of a little you know,

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Speaker 1: saying or thought which is always like be the one

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Speaker 1: that no one can get. My dad always told me,

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Speaker 1: and I thought it was great advice. No, I know,

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Speaker 1: and by the way, I carried with you because in

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Speaker 1: La I my friends who were like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're hanging out with Aaron or whatever, and they're like,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're like, no, you won't be able to

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Speaker 1: get her. No one can get her. It's like she's

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Speaker 1: she's like an unattainable Yeah. It was. It wasn't like

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Speaker 1: only like was up for the challenge. Was the challenge. No,

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Speaker 1: it was you know, you know, kind of playing hard

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Speaker 1: to get the thing is. At a certain point I

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Speaker 1: couldn't hold back anymore. I also didn't want to lose

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Speaker 1: what we had, which was this friendship. But that I

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Speaker 1: really did value that I thought was different and amazing

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Speaker 1: to talk about the night on the phone, I remember,

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Speaker 1: and then but you know I said to you because

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Speaker 1: I said to Jackie, I was like, you know, my

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Speaker 1: best friend. And I would talk about it over and

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Speaker 1: over and I finally called and I was like, look,

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Speaker 1: it's either like we're together, just us, or I don't

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Speaker 1: really want to do this anymore. I'd rather like put

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Speaker 1: it on hold and have you kind of do your

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Speaker 1: thing and revisit it down the road. And I felt

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Speaker 1: scared because I was like, oh my god, there was

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Speaker 1: a very good chance you could say okay, and we

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Speaker 1: hung up the phone. I was hoping that he would

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Speaker 1: be like, okay, no, I'm all in. I'm all in,

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Speaker 1: and you didn't. You said I have to think about this.

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Speaker 1: And I remember hanging up the phone being like that

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Speaker 1: mother fucker liked Jackie and I was like, he fucking

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Speaker 1: has to think about this. And I was spiraling and

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Speaker 1: angry well because I had, I know, my ex girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like we were broken up,

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Speaker 1: but I was like huh and a few other people

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Speaker 1: that I you know, I could nay no, I know,

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Speaker 1: but it was more about her. I remember that. It

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Speaker 1: was like, God, like I don't want to hurt her.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to is it over? Because I was

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Speaker 1: still sleeping with her kind of even though we were

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Speaker 1: broken up. Yeah, you know. But then I called back

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Speaker 1: pretty quickly, Well, you made it sound like, you know

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Speaker 1: all I got to think about this, give me some time.

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Speaker 1: And I thought, what the fuck? And it was so mad.

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Speaker 1: I thought you made it sound like it's going to

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Speaker 1: be like a couple of days. You got to go

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Speaker 1: through some stuff, and it was like two hours later

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Speaker 1: you called back and you were like, okay, I'm in.

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Speaker 1: Well I was like, this is stupid. What am I doing?

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Speaker 1: You know? What am I afraid of? Who am I?

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Speaker 1: You know, is one of those you know, commitment I've

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Speaker 1: always been. I've always been a girlfriend guy. I mean

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Speaker 1: I've had three girlfriends, and in all of my life,

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Speaker 1: I haven't even dated for a week or two weeks

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Speaker 1: or two or three months or six months. It's been

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Speaker 1: in love or just having a good time, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I knew that when I was saying yes to that,

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Speaker 1: or when I was committing to that, that it was

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Speaker 1: fucking real. So it was scary, you know, which is

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Speaker 1: carried on. I'm always so scared. So we've actually been

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Speaker 1: using square space for a while now Alison. I think

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Speaker 1: Alison actually designed the sibling Revelry website through them. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure she is not educated in website building, and that's

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Speaker 1: why squarespace is so amazing. It was super simple for

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Speaker 1: her to do. I've actually went on them one time.

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Speaker 1: I remember I had this idea, this is years ago,

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Speaker 1: for a company, and I was like, I need to

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Speaker 1: see how you build a website, and I found square

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Speaker 1: Space and I went on. I actually did the trial

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Speaker 1: and I built this sort of fake website and if

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Speaker 1: I can do it, anybody can do it on Squarespace.

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Speaker 1: It was very user friendly, super easy, has everything you

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Speaker 1: Hair Story. So I've been talking about hair Story with

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Speaker 1: our ads. I really love this partnership. This is actually

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Speaker 1: my sister in laws, or I mean not my sister

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00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 1: in law literally, but basically my sister in law. So

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Speaker 1: Danny's brother's wife, Dad, who's the founder, one of the

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Speaker 1: founders of Bumble and Bumble, created this company called hair Story,

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Speaker 1: and I believe hair Stories newsh is probably the best

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Speaker 1: it keeps all the good stuff in and it really

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Speaker 1: does work. He also did a great product called hair Bomb.

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Speaker 1: It's like this kind of a wonderful aftershower. I like

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Speaker 1: to put it on after I kind of dry my hair,

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Speaker 1: dry my hair a little bit, and then I put

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Speaker 1: it on, and I honestly sometimes put it on when

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Speaker 1: my hair is dry throughout the day. I love it.

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Speaker 1: hair since childhood. Check out Hairstory at hairstory dot com

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00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 1: get fifteen percent off airstory dot com. But then she

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00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: invited me, Then Aaron invited me. This was like almost

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Speaker 1: spring ish. And then she invited me to go back

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Speaker 1: east to her to see her parents. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: no fucking way, because Simon was there the summer before,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't want to just be the

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Speaker 1: next dude who's going to the Cape to like meet

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Speaker 1: your family. Yeah, just get in line. But I was

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend person too, a relationship person. I didn't you know.

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Speaker 1: I had Steve for like one hundred years through high

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Speaker 1: school and college and then like the worst person on

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Speaker 1: the Planet for a minute, and then Simon that was it.

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Speaker 1: And Simon and I were like together for six months. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I knew Simon, I think even before Aaron and I

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Speaker 1: love Simon. Simon's a good dude. So then you came

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Speaker 1: to the Cape the next summer. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah yeah, and it was on. Then you

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Speaker 1: got your show and went to Vancouver and once it

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Speaker 1: was on and you were you know, yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: in So my history a little bit is this. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I had my first high school girlfriend, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's high school, but I was in love. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's no doubt. And I know that now because I

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Speaker 1: had I've been in love obviously since, and so I

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Speaker 1: knew it was real. And I was a good boyfriend

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Speaker 1: up until the last little bit. And I was a

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Speaker 1: cheater and I was bad and I did some bad

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Speaker 1: things I was in high school. But it hurt her

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Speaker 1: and it was devastating to me. And so then with

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Speaker 1: my second girlfriend, I was so faithful, like super super

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Speaker 1: super faithful to Vanessa. You know. Then I was getting

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Speaker 1: into another relationship and being committed and it was easy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it was. It was easy for me

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Speaker 1: until it wasn't until it wasn't. I mean, honestly, three

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Speaker 1: were together for three years and we weren't engaged. Yep, blissful, wonderful.

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Speaker 1: We weren't engaged. So I bought her jewelry all the time,

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Speaker 1: and I would always consult my mom because she's good

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Speaker 1: with jewelry and I'm good with jewelry as well. But

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to, you know, always throw her things.

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Speaker 1: What about this for Aaron? And it was around Christmas

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Speaker 1: time and I was getting her a Christmas gift and

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Speaker 1: I brought these rings and necklaces and I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: do you think about this? This and that? And my

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Speaker 1: Mom's like, what are you doing? You know, why are

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Speaker 1: you Why don't you just give her a ring ring?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you mean a fucking ring ring, like an

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Speaker 1: engagement ring. And I was scared. Marriage scared me, honestly.

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Speaker 1: And I think I could probably speak for Aaron saying

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Speaker 1: that she you never thought that we were really going

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Speaker 1: to get married. I didn't. I mean, I think I

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Speaker 1: was the opposite. I wanted a wedding. I wanted my

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Speaker 1: dad to walk me down the aisle. I'm definitely more traditional,

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Speaker 1: but I also felt like I know, you know from

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Speaker 1: my parents and you know their upbringing. My parents are

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Speaker 1: high school sweethearts, by the way. But you know, when

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Speaker 1: you find somebody, no matter what it is, whether it

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00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: kind of goes against maybe your religious you know, beliefs

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Speaker 1: or you know, parents or whatever it might be, it's

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Speaker 1: hard enough to find somebody. So I was more excited

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Speaker 1: just to have a life partner. And the and the

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Speaker 1: truth is, my dad used to always say this, you know,

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Speaker 1: it isn't about the marriage. It's about who this person

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Speaker 1: will be as a father if you have children. So

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Speaker 1: I think for me, I was like, oh, that's going

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Speaker 1: to be off the charts, like no question. And I

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Speaker 1: just let go a little bit of the idea because

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Speaker 1: I knew you weren't into it. You had your parents,

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00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 1: you know that. And I said, Okay, it isn't about

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Speaker 1: like the certificate of marriage and legally being bound, but

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00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: I did want to have some sort of like wedding

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00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 1: or party or fun part like yeah, And I was

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00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: just sort of not. I saw Kurt and Mom, and

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00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: I saw that work. And then I looked at my

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00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: dad and mom who were married, and I looked at

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Speaker 1: that and I saw that didn't work. It was pretty basic, right,

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00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 1: So my philosophy was, why get married, what's the point really,

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Speaker 1: Let's just be together and be in love and have

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Speaker 1: a family and all that. Yeah, and I believed that.

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Speaker 1: I think in the beginning I did think it was

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00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: probably just a little bit of an excuse. I was

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00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: kind of like and I would say, look, here's my

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00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: parents been married since like, you know, high school. Sweetheart's

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Speaker 1: amazing marriage, still happy, laughing, having fun. So that was

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Speaker 1: my model, so, you know, yeah, I believed in that, right.

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Speaker 1: And her dad is just one of the great human

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00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: beings to ever walk on this earth. I mean, it

415
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 1: is true, he's not in so many different ways. And

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Speaker 1: Aaron's childhood so it was my mom and my mom

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00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: is one of the grades too, But in her childhood

418
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: was like so idyllic. It was fairytale esque, you know,

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Speaker 1: small town in Long Meadow, ride your bike to school.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was out of a movie. Parents are

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Speaker 1: still I'm just saying. I'm just talking about sort of

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00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: your expectations of man when when one is sort of

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00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,479
Speaker 1: having getting married or falling in love, and you know,

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Speaker 1: you're you're looking at your father figure in a sense,

425
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: and you have to live up to who your who

426
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: your dad is, you know what I mean? And there's

427
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: no way I could do that, but but you did

428
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: have like if I was thinking about, you know, my dad,

429
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: there is that, you know, kind of light up the room.

430
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: Everybody's drawn to him, charming, you know, the best like dad,

431
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: father figure, like you had a lot of those. Yes,

432
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: so you might not be as good of a golfer

433
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: as my dad, but yeah. But anyway, so we're there.

434
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: I got the rings and my mom is like, what

435
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: are you doing? I say, Mom, I don't know what

436
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: do you what are you nuts? Like I'm scared, And

437
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: my mom basically said, she goes, look, this is this

438
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: ring that you were going to get her. Doesn't mean

439
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 1: you have to get married right away. It's a token.

440
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: It's it's it's saying something. And she said, do you

441
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: want to be with her for the rest of your life?

442
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: And I said I do, yeah, Well, then get her

443
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 1: something just to show her that you can wait. And

444
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: it sort of put me at ease a little bit.

445
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: So I said, okay, fuck, here we go and I

446
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: bought her a ring and Neil Lane I picked it

447
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 1: out myself, and I had whole plan. I bought my

448
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: first house. We were moving into the house. You know,

449
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: it's kind of a funny, cute story. There's boxes everywhere,

450
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: sort of movie style, and we it's raining, and I

451
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: have this whole plan. I've got the ring, I've rehearsed

452
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 1: a little bit of a speech, you know, just to

453
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 1: set it a little bit. We did have this thing

454
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: that we would say to each other, our a little

455
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: comment which was like guess how much I love you?

456
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: From the children's book with the bunnies and the whole thing.

457
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: And then you know, it would be like, do you

458
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: know how much I love you? And I would always

459
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 1: say coyly like no, you know, like and then if

460
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: he would tell me, it's like a cute little thing. Sometimes. Yeah,

461
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: So I had a whole I have to sell this

462
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 1: bog it's so good. So we're moving into this house.

463
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: It's so exciting. It's a cute little Spanish house in

464
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: West Hollywood. And we're going through undoing boxes and my

465
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: friend Jackie has come over and she's there helping, and

466
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: she looks up on the fireplace and she's like, what

467
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 1: is this? And up on the fireplace Oliver has found

468
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 1: a box of like, say, memorabilia or whatever, it is

469
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: a photos and he's taking out like eight pictures of

470
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: me and my ex cibon now that everybody knows, but

471
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: and put them up on the mantle. So it's like

472
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: us in Jamaica, like us cuddling, kissing, like you know,

473
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: on the beach whatever, all up on the thing. And

474
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: I come out. I'm like hysterically laughing, and that's just

475
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: like who he is, because this is actually the night

476
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 1: that he's going to propose. If I don't know this yet.

477
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 1: So we had like a great night. You know, Jackie

478
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: was there, and you told Jackie you were going to

479
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 1: do it. Remember, So I'm in another room and you're

480
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 1: looking at Jackie and you like show her the ring.

481
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: She like burst into tears and then she's like I

482
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: have to leave because I'm not going to be able

483
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: to like see Aaron. And he was like, oh okay,

484
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: but she was so excited. So I come out of

485
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: the room and she's just smiling at me like Hi,

486
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: like a totally awkward, like weird, like she could barely

487
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: keep it in. Of course, I had no clue what

488
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 1: she was talking about. She's like, I'm gonna go. I

489
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: was like, okay, you know, I love you. Anyways, we

490
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: crawl into bed. It's late planned. I planned. I planned it,

491
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: so I was gonna I wrote her a note. I

492
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: was going to make her cry beautiful and you know,

493
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: the love letter, just saying, you know, just I'm so

494
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: happy to be moving into this house with you, like

495
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 1: starting starting her life together and how special you are

496
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: to me and all the stuff, and boom, okay, cue

497
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 1: the tears. Great. And then I was going to like

498
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: just hold her and look at her, and it's going

499
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: to say do you know how much I love you?

500
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: And like we do, and she's supposed to coily, acutely

501
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: say no. And then I'm supposed to have the ring

502
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: in my pillow case. I'm gonna pull a ring out

503
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: and then say well, this is how much I love

504
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: you or something like that. This is well, this is

505
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 1: how much you know. Boom I had it had it

506
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: was going to go to plan. Wasn't too It wasn't

507
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: too difficult. Read the letter, crying, check, you know, hug Great.

508
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: Then I go to the port where I'm like, do

509
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: you know do you know how much I love you?

510
00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: And she goes yes, and I'm like, because you had

511
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: just written me this love letter it's amazing. I don't know,

512
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm emotional. No, it was supposed to prompt me to

513
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 1: say this is how much pull the fucking ring out

514
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: and then boom her off to the races. But she

515
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: says yes, so I'm like, oh, she were like she's

516
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: donne and then I was like, just kissing you and yes,

517
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I know, I love you

518
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: the fuck and I've got the ring behind me. And

519
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: then she saves me by saying not she doesn't, no,

520
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: there's a ring, but she goes, this is the best

521
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: night ever. And then and then I pull out the

522
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: ring and I say, well, here's something to make it

523
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:47,959
Speaker 1: even better yep, and then boom, amazing. So I improved.

524
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: I recovered and scene, and so I also had a

525
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: fucking video camera recording all of this. As filming her.

526
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: As she's looking at the ring, she goes, shut the fuck.

527
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: Oh opens it up, you know, closes it. Yeah, Because

528
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: I was so in shock because obviously I had been

529
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: prepping my family, who was like, you've been dating this

530
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: guy for three years, like, is he gonna put a

531
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: ring on your finger? And I had to tell everybody

532
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: it was like, no, he's not, and everyone's gonna have

533
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,959
Speaker 1: to deal with that, Like my East Coast traditional family

534
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: is going to have to accept that, Like we're going

535
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: to be together, we're probably gonna have kids, but like

536
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: there's not going to be a wedding. Yeah, And speaking

537
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: of East Coast traditional, one of the first questions she

538
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: asked me, I'm literally in tears so excited, and like

539
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: thirty seconds after I realized what's going on, I'm like,

540
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm like, what did my dad say?

541
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: Like crying, all emotional. He goes straight faced, like ghost

542
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: and he's like, uh, it's silent. I'm like, wait a minute.

543
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: You didn't ask my dad or call my dad. And

544
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: he's like no, and he's like, didn't even cross my mind,

545
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't even it wasn't even a thought in

546
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: my mind, non traditional versus tradition. I did not. I

547
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: did not, So what did we do? She did to

548
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: call my dad on the East Coast and my mom.

549
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: It was like it was like three in the morning.

550
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: Three in the morning for them, so they're going to

551
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: wake up with like a heart attack phone call. But

552
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: Oliver did set it up. He called right. I called

553
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: her dad and I said Brooks. He pals like I

554
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: got some news. I got something to tell you, and

555
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: he goes, what is it? And I take a beat

556
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Aaron's pregnant. And there's a long pause

557
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 1: and said thing and I'm like, ah, I'm just kidding.

558
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: I just proposed. She said yes, and he's like, oh fuck, man, fuck,

559
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: what are you doing, buddy? And then yeah, you know,

560
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: it was actually smart because you know, you hit him

561
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: with the extreme and then you pull back with the joke,

562
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 1: and then the fact that I didn't tell him or

563
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: ask him that goes away. Yeah, it was like just relieve. Yeah,

564
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: it's just really And but then we did end up

565
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: having an amazing wedding. We did. But but but even

566
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: even after that, which threw me for a loop, was

567
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: the next fucking morning, Jackie and all your friends all

568
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: of a sudden show up at like seven point thirty

569
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: with baskets of already pre made sweatshirts, and like missus hudds.

570
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, when the fuck did they get this shit done?

571
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 1: I mean it was a few days, and yeah, it

572
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: was like crazy, like a scene out of a movie. Honestly,

573
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: I remember exactly. I felt overwhelmed and I left the house.

574
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: I went to Dukes. I remember, I went to Duke's

575
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: and I had a chili cheese homelet by myself. I remember,

576
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: and I remember being like, what the fuck are you

577
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: guys doing? Like what couldn't you wait till like Ollie

578
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: wasn't here to come in with like baskets of like

579
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: bride shit. And it was just it was it was exciting.

580
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: It was the girly, the girly stuff. And then from

581
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: that moment on the panic set in and then everything

582
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,719
Speaker 1: was good. We got married, went downhill, we got married

583
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: and had kids and yeah, everything was good. Yeah, so

584
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: should we break and go to commercial folks and come

585
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: back for the good stuff? I wish it was that easy,

586
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: but it wasn't. Well I thought it was because I

587
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: didn't know that it wasn't. I know. We love article.

588
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: They have a new outdoor collection. I love when they

589
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: have the new collections. I get my alerts and my emails.

590
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: It's called Desert Modern, which is great. So from easy

591
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592
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594
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595
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596
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597
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598
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Speaker 1: episodes of Sibling Revelry, I suggest checking out Life Is

614
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: Short with Justin Long. Justin chats with musicians, actors, and

615
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616
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617
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618
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619
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620
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621
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625
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626
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627
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628
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629
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630
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,680
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631
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632
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,680
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Speaker 1: and the Wondery app Wondery Feel the story. There's a

636
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: lot of lessons in this story. We won't get too detailed,

637
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:48,760
Speaker 1: but basically, I just went I just took a downward spiral.

638
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what it was. Three years.

639
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: I was perfectly good, and then after the engagement, something

640
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: happened and I started to drink a little bit more

641
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: and I just became detached and went into party mode

642
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: and of into major avoidance of some kind. And I

643
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: don't know if this was triggered by well, it probably

644
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: was triggered by the bridle baskets, the bridle baskets, just

645
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 1: the finality, I guess, of what it means to be married,

646
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: maybe dealing with my parents and their divorce. And I

647
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: don't know, but I just so you were a baby.

648
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: Don't forget you were like twenty twenty eight when we

649
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 1: got engaged. No, yeah, twenty seven, twenty seven or twenty eight,

650
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: I mean you know you use yeah. I mean I

651
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: had experienced a ton of life. I had never lived alone,

652
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: I lived with a roommate or whatever. Anyway, these are

653
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 1: all bullshit excuses. But I just tumbled into darkness, and

654
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 1: I was unfaithful, and I was out on the scene

655
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: and partying and doing my thing, and of course me

656
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: thinking I had, you know, found my like night and

657
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: shining armor, whatever the saying is, who had had unfaithful

658
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 1: orphans in the past and kind of put all way

659
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: up on this pedestal due to his dad and his

660
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: childhood and never wanted to do that and all that

661
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. When I look back, of course, there

662
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 1: were red flags and I saw it happening, but I

663
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: was so of course naive is going to be the

664
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: obvious word that comes, you know, to mind, and I'll

665
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 1: take that. But I think I also had a better

666
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 1: belief in you and just I was not a jealous person.

667
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 1: And when I say that, like, I truly mean I

668
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: was not jealous of him going out. I wasn't jealous

669
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: of the girls throwing themselves at him. I literally almost

670
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: liked it. I felt like it was a compliment, right,

671
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: that all these girls liked him and that he was hot.

672
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: I always felt like, well, I know he's not going

673
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 1: to cross the line. He's still going to come home

674
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: with me. And I fell in love with you because

675
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: you were flirt and charming and all of that stuff.

676
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: I loved about you. I wasn't threatened by it. I

677
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: had the confidence in me, you know, all that kind

678
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,439
Speaker 1: of stuff. And you know, looking back, of course, now

679
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: there's a million red flags that I either just didn't

680
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: choose to see or want to see or want to believe. Yeah,

681
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: but I was also ever catch you. There was nothing

682
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: that I could no, there was no getting caught. And

683
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: we'll get into that in a second. But for me,

684
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 1: just to talk about my personal state of being, I

685
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 1: was there was a I called it like a after

686
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: therapy and going through all of this, I called it

687
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: like a lowercase addiction, like a lowercase a addiction in

688
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 1: a sense, because I would come home and I would shower,

689
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: and I would cry in the shower, and I would

690
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 1: have shame, deep shame. But then I'd you know, mix

691
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: a drink and get right back out there, you know

692
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: what I mean. So there was a lot that I

693
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: was masking, you know, a lot of psychology that I

694
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: was had yet to come up. I mean, I also

695
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: looked at I think a lot of it, you know

696
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 1: at the time was I knew you had insecurities, right,

697
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: Like I knew that you needed kind of your ego

698
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 1: to be fed a little bit. And I but I

699
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 1: didn't mind that. I just didn't realize how deep down

700
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 1: it was going and you know, you going out and

701
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: partying and staying out late. You know, I was like,

702
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,479
Speaker 1: all right, like you know, it just it just wasn't

703
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: a thought to me. But I did start to sense like, okay,

704
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,399
Speaker 1: if I'm not enough, and like, you know, you need

705
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 1: other women to you know, because look, we all want

706
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: to go out or be wherever we are and you know,

707
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: feel like we're attractive or that I mean it feels good.

708
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: I mean I'm just being one hundred percent honest and

709
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: you know, humble. You still, even if you're in a relationship,

710
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: whether you're dating or married or you still you know,

711
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: want to know that you could you know. I guess

712
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: my feeling was like, hey, if I went out to borrow,

713
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: I knew I could still get you know, a guy,

714
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: or I could go home with someone like That's what

715
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: I would have That's where I would have drawn my

716
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: line on my confidence or my ego. It's like, all right,

717
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: I still got it, and I think yours started there,

718
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 1: and it just kind of went down into a darker

719
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: spiral of needing to knowing that you could get the girl,

720
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 1: then knowing that you could and you kind of want

721
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: to or where it just it just you know, yeah, no,

722
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 1: I know, it was just it was a bad spot.

723
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: And it was about two years of just cycling spiraling

724
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: down into this hole. And then we got married, which

725
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: was an incredible fucking wedding. I mean, one of the

726
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: all time great weddings, honestly. I mean it was about

727
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 1: ninety people, and I was such a fucking dick. Oh

728
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: my god, the dick. But I don't know if I

729
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: would have changed anything. So Aaron has her amazing friends

730
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: from college who I love, a home and home and

731
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: everything else, right, and I've got my family, and I

732
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 1: wanted to make it small, like intimacy matters to me

733
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: when I'm speaking, you know, words from my heart. I

734
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: especially like having a wedding when you didn't want to

735
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: have a wedding, so right, I didn't want anyone there

736
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: who I didn't know, So no, you literally you said

737
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: to me, I don't want to have to be introduced

738
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: to anybody at my own wedding, yes, and with your

739
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: parents and you know all this stuff. You know, it

740
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: made sense and it was, oh, I got people are

741
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 1: gonna hate me for this, I know, but but but

742
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: it was like, here's the thing. What happens is, you know,

743
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: if I have one friend and the husband and then

744
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: but it's a group of friends from my right so

745
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: it's a group of friends. It's fine. It all turned

746
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: out amazing. It was small and intimate. Few people might

747
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: have not been happy, but like, right, because well, no,

748
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: I know, but I didn't tell the thing like I

749
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: was like, your girlfriends from college, I love it, but

750
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: their husbands or boyfriends who I don't know. I didn't

751
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 1: know at the time. I didn't know at the time.

752
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: Right now I do didn't know. I was like, I

753
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: don't really want them to be at my wedding. Well,

754
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: we had to cut numbers, is really what was happening

755
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: because where we were and space and so who ended

756
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 1: up getting cut was people that Oliver didn't know. He

757
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 1: is a very small family. I know everybody and his family,

758
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 1: and it was I had to say to my parents too,

759
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 1: you can't have like the bigger, wider group of friends.

760
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 1: We had all family, a few close friends that are

761
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 1: basically like but all the friends, all the husbands came

762
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: to Cobo, but they just didn't come to the wedding.

763
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: There were other hotels and my friends that have you know,

764
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: normal jobs, and they aren't in the entertainment business. Was like,

765
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 1: we're taking a fucking vacation to come like great, like go,

766
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,439
Speaker 1: I mean terrible. I apologized all you boys out there,

767
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 1: that's my best friend, my friends, you know who wanted

768
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 1: that were single, just you know. I also said, if

769
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: you're single, do not bring a date. There were no dates.

770
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 1: You had to like literally be like married and we

771
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: had to know your partner. Did that happen because I

772
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: remember Tray you know. Anyway, it was an incredible wedding,

773
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,919
Speaker 1: incredible speeches. Aaron's brother like brought the house down, My brother,

774
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: why I brought the house down? It was just beautiful.

775
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: We partied till five in the morning. It was so

776
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: much fun. It was just one of those moments, just

777
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: a really really fun wedding. And then I will say this,

778
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: So that was June sixth, ninth, June ninth, So from

779
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 1: June ninth on I will say this though too, in

780
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 1: our in our vows, I didn't cry and you were

781
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: weeping and a mess, and I think it was a

782
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: lot of your guilt and shame and just kind of like,

783
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: holy shit, I've been a fucking horrible person. Yeah, I

784
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: was an angel and perfect. And then so we spent

785
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 1: my birthday in Colorado and won't get in, but we

786
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: went on our honeymoon. Honeymoon, I mean, it was just beautiful.

787
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 1: And by the way, you know, I was good from

788
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: that point on. Once marriage happened, I was good. And

789
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: then my birthday comes around and we're driving back from

790
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 1: Vegas and uh, basically we're at dinner. Well you got

791
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: to call. I know all the details. We don't have

792
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 1: so much time, okay, okay, anyways, long story short, Yeah,

793
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,479
Speaker 1: there's so much time. We can do a part two

794
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: if in the comment section they want to hear more

795
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: and more and more. But let me just say it

796
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: really quickly. We tried to get pregnant that summer on

797
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 1: the honeymoon. I had gone off the pill. That was

798
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,720
Speaker 1: kind of our goal right away, and it didn't happen.

799
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,839
Speaker 1: And so we were driving home from Colorado to La

800
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: we stopped in Vegas, had a great night. We're sitting

801
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: at dinner and I was like, god, I got my

802
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: period or whatever, and you know, I was I was bombed,

803
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,399
Speaker 1: but I was like whatever, it's a few months. And

804
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: you were like ghost white, really like awkward and you know,

805
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 1: just sad, and I'm thinking, oh my god, like he

806
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 1: really wants a kid. And I was like it's not

807
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: going to be okay, babe, like it's going to happen,

808
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 1: and you were just like weird and distant. Is everything okay?

809
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: And then you just were like I'm not the man

810
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: you think I am. And you started with the saying

811
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: You're like I gotta go, we gotta leave dinner. And

812
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 1: I was like, holy fucking shit, he's going to break

813
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 1: up with me, like didn't want to get married. Now

814
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: he's freaking out cold feet. It's over. And we have

815
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: this like silent, like walk of silence back to the

816
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 1: hotel room that now looks like the shining hallway in

817
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: my memory. And we go back to the hotel room

818
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: and you're like, I've been unfaithful and I don't want

819
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: to bring a child into the world like this, and

820
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 1: I'm relieved that you're not pregnant. Because there's just there's

821
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 1: too much darkness and I need to get this off

822
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: my chest. And basically, if you will ever forgive me,

823
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: you know, well, I mean, yeah, I didn't. Yeah. I

824
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 1: had to tell her. I had to tell I had

825
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: to tell her. We had started this life, we had

826
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: gotten married and and we were gonna have kids. And

827
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. I just I couldn't do it.

828
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: I couldn't continue on living in this crazy world, living

829
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: in my mind, living this lie. And so I told her.

830
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: I didn't get caught. I told her. I told her everything.

831
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: And I was a mess. Oh. I was threw up

832
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,720
Speaker 1: all the wine. I was like, yeah, Aaron is ice

833
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 1: fucking cold, sitting on the couch, which was worse just

834
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 1: looking at me, watching me just go through it, throwing up, puking.

835
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 1: I've ruined everything. If it was a movie, you know,

836
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: and we're doing a scene, that director would cut and

837
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: be like, all right, Oliver, you're way over the top.

838
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: You got to bring it down because you were way

839
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: over the time. I was out of my mind. Well,

840
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: I was in I think a state of shock. I

841
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,919
Speaker 1: was also angry. My whole thing I had always said,

842
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 1: and I said this to every relationship I was ever in.

843
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: You know, we're human. It's fucking you know, not easy

844
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: no matter how in love you are, everybody makes mistakes.

845
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: Like I get it, I get attraction, I got all

846
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: that kind of shit. But I was like, if something

847
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: ever happens, just tell me so I don't hear it

848
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 1: from someone else. And I would do the same because

849
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 1: I feel like there's something to be said. When you

850
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: come and say to the person I've done this, it's

851
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,919
Speaker 1: different than a rumor, is different than other people knowing.

852
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 1: It's also saying I want you to know from me,

853
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: which in my mind, getting caught means you weren't done

854
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: doing it, and you know then you've got to pay

855
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: the consequences and you're going to have to be done.

856
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,839
Speaker 1: But when you're coming forward, you're basically saying I'm done,

857
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore. I want you

858
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: to know. So that was always my like golden rule,

859
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 1: and I just didn't think it was going to actually happen.

860
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 1: And it was crazy. I mean I remember in that

861
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: hotel room, I was like I turned into a little child. Remember,

862
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 1: I was like, Hey, I want to call my mom my, Mommy.

863
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: I was like I need my mommy, even though I

864
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 1: was the one who did all the horrible things, like

865
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: I need I needed love. I needed someone to like

866
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 1: hold me, you know what I mean. It was selfish,

867
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 1: but still I was like I was just spinning and like,

868
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: oh my god. I just remember thinking like I got

869
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: fucking played and I had no idea so separate from

870
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 1: jealousy or the questions, like right away, in my mind,

871
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh my fucking god, like you

872
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 1: played me like I thought, you know, you wouldn't do

873
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: this or whatever, and it was I was so angry

874
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 1: and I literally said to you, you're going to call

875
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: my dad and tell them why we're getting divorced after

876
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: three months of marriage. Yeah, it was then no, but

877
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: I just in my mind, I was like, so, we

878
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: we were driving home a rental car. I left the

879
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: car in Vegas because I couldn't drive. We get up

880
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: the next morning and I get a car to take

881
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: us because I was just in no shape. And that

882
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 1: car ride from LA to from Vegas to LA was

883
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: really crazy, and you know, I was just crying and

884
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 1: it was silent, and I was just going through it

885
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 1: and you know, just thinking about how I've just destroyed

886
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 1: one of the great things in my life. And and

887
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 1: then it happened, and for me, it was the moment

888
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: that I knew that things might be okay because Aaron

889
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: took my head and she put it on her lap,

890
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: and then she just started stroking my hair because she

891
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: knew the kind of pain that I was in and

892
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,720
Speaker 1: that's the kind of woman she is, by the way,

893
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: and that and that moment, I was like, Okay, you know,

894
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: I think we might have a we might have a chance.

895
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: And then the work started home. I will say, just

896
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 1: for that moment in the car, it's like, you know,

897
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 1: I'm very I don't know, I'm just realistic and like

898
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: I know that there are women that would, you know,

899
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 1: never look back, and I respect that. I think for me,

900
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: the biggest thing is like, you're madly in love with someone.

901
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 1: We were literally on a high of trying to make

902
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,759
Speaker 1: a baby and coming off of our honeymoon, and you

903
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 1: don't all of a sudden fall out of love. I

904
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 1: mean I didn't anyway, So I was like, I still

905
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: love this person. I am broken hearted, angry, you know.

906
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 1: I mean, there was just so many things swirling, but

907
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: I knew that the reality of men and women and monogamy.

908
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm just very realistic, I guess, and I you know,

909
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 1: I thought it was over. I mean, I knew in

910
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: my mind it's really really, really hard to come back

911
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 1: from uh, you know, infidelity and earn trust back. And I,

912
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: you know, I was more sad at that point. I

913
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: think I was angry and I was sad, and I

914
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: just thought we had something really fun and good and

915
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 1: he just couldn't he couldn't do it, and that was

916
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: like devastating, right, But then you go, then you go deeper,

917
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's where you I'll

918
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: always say whenever I write you letters, because I write

919
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,319
Speaker 1: her letters at least once a year, handwritten letters. She's

920
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: the most evolved woman that I know, you know, and

921
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: this is one of the reasons why. I mean, she's

922
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: looking at things in a bigger picture. Yes, she can

923
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:30,839
Speaker 1: be reactionary. Why shouldn't she be, you know. But when

924
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: we got home, we moved out, you know, we had

925
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 1: our home, but she moved in with a friend, Jackie.

926
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: I moved in with my parents. She didn't want to

927
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: be in that house, you know. Well, there were so

928
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: many questions when it started happening, because it's not like

929
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: that night you told me everything that went on in

930
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: those couple of years. It was like you just were generalizing. Well,

931
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 1: then we got into therapy. I mean, we got in

932
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: the therapy and things came out because basically what I

933
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 1: thought was, you know, our parents got involved, everyone was

934
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 1: very supportive around us. I knew, you know this person,

935
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: you know, basically like you know, it came down to this.

936
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 1: Your mom looked at me and said, please do not

937
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 1: give up on him. If you can give it a

938
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 1: try in therapy to work through something like this, please

939
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 1: do it, because he is going to change for himself,

940
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: whether it's for you or not. And then she's like,

941
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: and then there's going to be someone else in her lives.

942
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: And I don't want anybody else in our lives. I

943
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 1: want you to be my daughter in law. And I

944
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: really think, well, you know, should give it. You know,

945
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 1: you saw this as an act, you know, not as

946
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: a whole of you of who I am. You know,

947
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 1: I'm not a bad, nefarious, disgusting, horrible human being at

948
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: the core. You know, this was symptomatic of a lot

949
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 1: of things in my life. And it takes someone evolved

950
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: like you and someone like my mom who would help

951
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: you to understand that take the journey, you know. And

952
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,760
Speaker 1: I think honestly that's the problem, not just in relationships,

953
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 1: but not just in love relationships, but relationships in general.

954
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,240
Speaker 1: We are so quick to throw everything away now instead

955
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 1: of really take a thirty thousand foot view, look at

956
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,960
Speaker 1: the whole person, and get into the souls, get into

957
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 1: the emotions, get into a little bit of the psychology

958
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 1: of who these people are, and maybe understand to then

959
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: grow with or at least give it an attempt, and

960
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: then if you can't, okay, right. But I think also

961
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: at that moment in time, those couple weeks where I

962
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: was still in shock and you know, kind of just

963
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: devastate it was over. We didn't have kids, okay, we

964
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of years of marriage under our belt.

965
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,800
Speaker 1: It was different. It was still very fresh and very fun.

966
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: And I mean, you know, a part of it was

967
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 1: we were not bad, okay, so meaning like we were

968
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: still having fun together. We were still having sex all

969
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,919
Speaker 1: the time. We were you know, you had your own thing.

970
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:57,360
Speaker 1: It wasn't like our relationship had deteriorated or you know,

971
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 1: we had grown apart. I mean, those factors were important.

972
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: And then I think for me, I said to you

973
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: at that point in time, and I guess this speaks

974
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 1: to kind of being evolved, And I said, this is

975
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: your opportunity to go, because I will love you for

976
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 1: that decision as well, meaning do not stay because you

977
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 1: feel guilty or like you should or you don't want

978
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 1: to lose me, like lose me, like you know what

979
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I remember sitting in Jen's office and just saying,

980
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 1: like I will still respect you, Like, do not do

981
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: this because you're scared to lose me. Don't do this

982
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 1: because like you think it's the right thing, and your

983
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 1: parents and my parents and everyone's involved, Like it's okay

984
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:45,400
Speaker 1: if you need to go, Like I understand that, Like

985
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: we're still young. You're young, Like you know you've been

986
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 1: so honest and so eager to fix this, but like,

987
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: just make sure it's about fixing you and not like

988
00:56:55,800 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: saving our relationship. And then we had a week without

989
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: each other because it was just therapy, and I you know,

990
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 1: I think I really did think you were going to

991
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,839
Speaker 1: do that, and I thought maybe our story will reconnect

992
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 1: one day because I did believe in us. But I

993
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 1: knew you were young. I knew there was so much

994
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 1: that you still needed to personally deal with from your

995
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: childhood and your father. I need all of your ego

996
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: and self worth and it just it was a big undertaking.

997
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 1: But you were very, very adamant about doing it together,

998
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 1: and so we started the journey of therapy, which was great.

999
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 1: Corse Light, Baby, Corse Light, Ollie, you're in the rockies.

1000
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 1: If you could see me right now, I am sitting

1001
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: at the birthplace of course light in Colorado. Summer always

1002
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 1: feels like the shortest season. I know it does. When

1003
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 1: you need to make the most of it. You just

1004
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 1: need to chill. You got to chill. Just have a

1005
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: course light. You gotta sip by the pool. You gotta

1006
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,959
Speaker 1: get your cooler out, fill it with cores light, ice,

1007
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 1: cold cores light, and just sip on those cores light

1008
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:11,959
Speaker 1: while you hang out with your friends and you laugh

1009
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: and you talk shit and watch the sun go down. Man,

1010
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: I mean, does it get better than that? I don't

1011
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: think so. It's a cold loggered, cold filtered, cold package,

1012
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 1: crisp refreshing. It's perfect for a moment to unwind this summer.

1013
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,439
Speaker 1: It's crisp as shit. I'm about to go play golf

1014
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 1: right now. Loading up the cooler with coarse light. Cores

1015
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 1: Light is the official beer of slowing down summer, because

1016
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: as the beer that is made to chill, we want

1017
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 1: you to savor every second of summer. Get course Light

1018
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: in the New Look, delivered straight to your door with

1019
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: Drizzly or Instacart by going to Coreslight dot com slash

1020
00:58:53,600 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: Hudson celebrate responsibly Cores Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. But here's

1021
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 1: how fucked up I was. My therapist didn't even know

1022
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: what was going on. Like I had my therapist, but

1023
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even tell him through these two years what

1024
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 1: I was going through because that's I was so ashamed

1025
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 1: of it. I was like, I don't want to. I

1026
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: was just it was horrible. But the best was when

1027
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,919
Speaker 1: Aaron made me call her dad, you know, because he's

1028
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: old school. You know. I was like, Brooks, you know,

1029
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 1: here's what happened, and I told her everything. He is,

1030
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 1: what do you mean? He goes, you told her you

1031
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 1: didn't get caught, and I'm like, no, I told her

1032
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: because I couldn't live with this, and he goes, you

1033
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 1: weren't married when he did any this? He said no,

1034
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: He's like all right, he sounds good to me. I'm

1035
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: like Jesus, I mean, yeah, it's a little exaggeration, I

1036
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 1: mean a little bit, but he was definitely. What he

1037
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: said to me was, you know, you guys have something special.

1038
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 1: I have men, grown men that wouldn't have enough courage,

1039
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: you know, or respect to do what he did. You

1040
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 1: were not married at the time, nothing went on in

1041
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: your own home. These were isolated incidents. It wasn't a

1042
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: full blown love affair of you know, with one person.

1043
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: This was he really broke it down and it is generational.

1044
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 1: And you know, my dad was like, I'll support you

1045
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: whatever you do. But you know, we were there at

1046
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 1: your wedding and you know, if you guys are going

1047
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 1: to give it a try, we support that. And you know,

1048
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: and I had them as such a model of you know,

1049
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: they're just the best, and they're and they're opposites, they're

1050
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 1: not perfect, but they work and you know, they've been

1051
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 1: together for one hundred and fifty years and they've seen

1052
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: a lot and I've seen it through their eyes of

1053
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 1: relationships and anyways, I went in it with a very

1054
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 1: like bleak outlook. I thought, it's worth it. We're married.

1055
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,720
Speaker 1: I love this person. I'm going to try, but I

1056
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: don't think it's going to work. And I just didn't

1057
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 1: have my hopes up. I think, you know, infidelity is

1058
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 1: really hard. I think trust. I said to you, I go, look,

1059
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 1: you're going to probably do all this amazing work. You

1060
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 1: might become the most honest, you know, wonderful person and partner.

1061
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 1: And I said, and I will probably deteriorate and become

1062
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 1: jealous and insecure. I don't want to be checking your

1063
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 1: phones and not trusting you. It's an ugly, dark place

1064
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 1: and it is it's poison. And I didn't I've had

1065
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 1: that feeling before. I didn't want that, and I didn't

1066
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 1: want that to be the reason we broke up in

1067
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: a few years because I couldn't handle it and I

1068
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: became insecure and all of those ugly things that it

1069
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 1: can bring out. I didn't want. That's not who I am.

1070
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:38,840
Speaker 1: I've done, you know, and been there, and it just

1071
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: is not a police I wanted to be. And so,

1072
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 1: you know, we had a lot of stuff. I mean,

1073
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 1: I remember sitting with our therapist and I said, you

1074
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 1: don't have to do it right this second, but we're

1075
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 1: going to meet here. Whatever it was a few days

1076
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:57,120
Speaker 1: later and you're going to tell me every single detail

1077
01:01:57,240 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 1: and thing that went on, and the you know, Oliver's

1078
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 1: looking at me like a fucking deer in headlights, and

1079
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 1: my therapist is like, who whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I

1080
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 1: don't think this is a good idea. And I looked

1081
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 1: at my therapist and I said, it's not your relationship,

1082
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:10,919
Speaker 1: it's mine. And I looked at Allie and I said,

1083
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 1: if you're not up for it, I understand, but if

1084
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 1: we are going to move forward, that's what I need

1085
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 1: to know. For me, it was who knew? And all

1086
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 1: these people thought that I didn't fucking know, And that

1087
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 1: was my therapy that I needed to work on, right

1088
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 1: because the thing therapist, I was ashamed. I was like,

1089
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: he knew, and they're walking around and then these fucking horrors,

1090
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,959
Speaker 1: you know, we're walking around like, oh, she has no idea,

1091
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 1: But I was with her person. I mean all of

1092
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,439
Speaker 1: that shit. That was my issue and my problem, which

1093
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: of course is not everybody is. And but for me

1094
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 1: it was like, I don't want to find something else

1095
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:49,959
Speaker 1: out five years down the road and we bump into

1096
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,920
Speaker 1: somebody or something comes up. I was all about, if

1097
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 1: we're doing this. We're a team. Now. I want to

1098
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 1: know everything. I want you to call all the people

1099
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 1: and let them know that I know. And I'm saying

1100
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: all I mean, it wasn't, you know, like a list

1101
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 1: of twenty, but it was definitely a handful. And I

1102
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 1: had a few, you know, kind of ultimatums and I

1103
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 1: was like, if you're not okay with it, I understand,

1104
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 1: but moving forward, that's what I need. And then you

1105
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: came back a week later and you were like, I'm ready,

1106
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, here we go. And he told

1107
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: me things that I definitely would never ever have found

1108
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: out probably for like three lifetimes. And that was definitely

1109
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 1: like what did I What did I do? But it

1110
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 1: just it made me feel like I knew. It gave

1111
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 1: me the confidence to say, okay, he was willing to

1112
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:42,720
Speaker 1: share this shit with me, and we could put it

1113
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 1: behind us. And then there were no secrets. There was

1114
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: no me wondering, you know, oh my god, am I

1115
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 1: gonna run run end of one? Who's gonna know? All

1116
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 1: that shit got cleared up and then we had then

1117
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 1: it just kind of rebuilt and it really was the

1118
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: free and the post of our relationship. But but you know, yes,

1119
01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 1: And I want to be clear, like you know, the

1120
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 1: Aaron is, I did a lot of work. I did

1121
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 1: work for myself, meaning like if I don't want to

1122
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 1: be this kind of a human being with or without her,

1123
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:19,240
Speaker 1: that's it. But for her again talking about the evolution,

1124
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 1: for her to be able to take me back to

1125
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:28,720
Speaker 1: create this life, I mean pretty much, I don't know

1126
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 1: what I would be. I don't know what i'd be doing.

1127
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: I don't even know what to be without you, I

1128
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 1: really don't. I don't know what would be what my

1129
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 1: life would look like. And it's all We're always working,

1130
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 1: you know, we got to make I want to make

1131
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: that clear. It doesn't just end. You're always working. You know,

1132
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:48,919
Speaker 1: this is a major mark on our relationship and it's

1133
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 1: only made it better and honest. And you know, yeah,

1134
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 1: I feel like we had an innocence before. Sure, and

1135
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 1: then you know, but then then there's differenterations. You know,

1136
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 1: down the road, boom, something else might happen, nothing better, bad,

1137
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 1: But you know, you got to check yourself and you

1138
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:06,919
Speaker 1: were constantly working, you know, not just from my standpoint,

1139
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 1: but from each other's standpoint, you know what I mean, Like,

1140
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 1: this is what I'm feeling I don't like this, you

1141
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:17,560
Speaker 1: don't like that. I mean this, this position, you know,

1142
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 1: is by far the harder position to be in. I

1143
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,360
Speaker 1: mean I could literally do my own podcast on it

1144
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:30,200
Speaker 1: and healing and forgiving, because for years I forgave, but

1145
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 1: I was still holding on to so much and I

1146
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 1: had this feeling of like, how could you do that

1147
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 1: to me? How could you? And it was those those

1148
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: things that it took me a long time to get over.

1149
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 1: It was, you know, a long time to kind of

1150
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: separate that you could be in love with me and

1151
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 1: have sex with another person or whatever, because I couldn't

1152
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 1: do that. So through therapy you kind of realize just

1153
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 1: because it's how you think or how you would work,

1154
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that's the same for everybody else. There

1155
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:06,400
Speaker 1: is a difference between love and sex. You know. I

1156
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 1: feel like who was getting over that kind of stuff?

1157
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 1: And then it was the forgiveness because I held it

1158
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 1: over you for a long time too, even though it

1159
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: was amazing I to have these like steps backwards where

1160
01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:20,880
Speaker 1: there was anger and resentment and darkness and you know,

1161
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:22,720
Speaker 1: and everything would be going great and then all of

1162
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 1: a sudden you'd be like, oh what happened? Where did

1163
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,800
Speaker 1: you go? What? What's happening? And it was years of

1164
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 1: getting through that and rebuilding trust and you know, it's

1165
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 1: it's definitely not easy. I'm not going to say that,

1166
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: but and every relationship is different, just I mean all

1167
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: the details from your childhood to your upbringings, to your

1168
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 1: past relationships to where you are, you know, all of it,

1169
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,160
Speaker 1: your careers, your things, I mean, all that kind of

1170
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:53,920
Speaker 1: but it was and I think I also learned a

1171
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 1: lesson to understand that, you know, just because the fairy

1172
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:02,640
Speaker 1: tale you know, worked for my parents, and I felt

1173
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:06,760
Speaker 1: very deserving of it. You know, it was this kind

1174
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 1: of all Rose's wedding and we're gonna have babies and

1175
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: we're gonna be together forever. It put a reality on

1176
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 1: the sense that like, no, we're not, and you have

1177
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:19,120
Speaker 1: to work at things and always kind of you know,

1178
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 1: show up and be willing to evolve an ebb and flow,

1179
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:27,120
Speaker 1: and you know, you both have to always want to

1180
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,200
Speaker 1: be there. I remember this is going to sound so corny,

1181
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 1: but I remember going to said, you know, had some

1182
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 1: quote that her mom or dad had always said to her,

1183
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 1: like you just you both have to always want to

1184
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 1: be there. Or work on it, or like you both

1185
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:43,760
Speaker 1: don't want to get divorced at the same time. That's

1186
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: what it was. Something like that where even if one

1187
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:49,240
Speaker 1: of you is like ah, the other one has to

1188
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:51,160
Speaker 1: kind of pull for you or still show you the

1189
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:56,720
Speaker 1: reasons to still be there. And and then I think

1190
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 1: we just got really lucky with our chemistry because that's

1191
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,840
Speaker 1: like something I think is so much that. And then

1192
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 1: just you know, just the constant work, the constant communication,

1193
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:09,240
Speaker 1: me trying to come out of my shell. Well we

1194
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:13,120
Speaker 1: have yeah, you know, doing my thing going to Hoffman,

1195
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 1: you know, which I've talked about on this podcast, wanting

1196
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 1: to be better, wanting to understand the root of why

1197
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:20,680
Speaker 1: I am the way I am and why I do

1198
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 1: the things that I do. Yeah, we still do, and

1199
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 1: you know, you do counseling together and we did hardcore

1200
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 1: for a while. Now when we need it, we'll get

1201
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:30,720
Speaker 1: together and have a session. Because we had about I

1202
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 1: would say ten years after the wedding that was like

1203
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:37,280
Speaker 1: amazing and blissful. And then you know, there was a

1204
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,640
Speaker 1: moment in New orleansy time that you kind of were

1205
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 1: starting to fall back a little bit. There's no like

1206
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: not even nothing close, not nothing even physical close to

1207
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,719
Speaker 1: what I was doing, you know, one hundred years ago.

1208
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:52,000
Speaker 1: But just you can slip back, and you got to

1209
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 1: catch yourself, and you gotta you know, I think here's

1210
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:58,439
Speaker 1: the other thing. For me, It was realizing, no matter

1211
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 1: how much I love you, you have to love yourself.

1212
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,080
Speaker 1: And so I think a lot of times those darker places,

1213
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 1: whether it be in fidelity or drugs or gambling or

1214
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:13,080
Speaker 1: things or whatever, these places that people go to are

1215
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:17,479
Speaker 1: so deeply rooted and personal and have less to do

1216
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 1: with the partner. And I'm not saying some marriages it's like, hey,

1217
01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 1: the partner could suck. And a lot of people go

1218
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:27,800
Speaker 1: and find affection and love and you know, things in

1219
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 1: other places. That's, of course, you know, the classic reason

1220
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 1: for it. They're finding something somewhere else. But when things

1221
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:41,920
Speaker 1: are good in a relationship and your partner has their

1222
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:45,919
Speaker 1: own personal demons or battles going on, it can sometimes

1223
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with you. And separating that was

1224
01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:51,639
Speaker 1: really hard. I mean it took a lot of work,

1225
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:55,679
Speaker 1: and I think Elie's like saved me, saved our marriage.

1226
01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 1: But keeping that open line of communication and being vulnerable

1227
01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 1: it's the hardest thing to do. These days. But vulnerability,

1228
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,800
Speaker 1: it's just huge. I mean we can do a whole

1229
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:10,479
Speaker 1: podcast on that too. But being willing to like talk

1230
01:10:10,479 --> 01:10:14,280
Speaker 1: about your fears and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities and

1231
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:17,559
Speaker 1: it just is allowed, I think for a lot of growth.

1232
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:23,120
Speaker 1: I will say, and now we're here, yeah, not perfect,

1233
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:34,639
Speaker 1: but perfectly together. That sounds like Ellie with three beautiful kids. Yep, wow,

1234
01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: so we went there. We don't have to put it in. Yeah,

1235
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: that's the where do we cut to? So then we

1236
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:47,600
Speaker 1: had our babies? No, but you know, look there's a

1237
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:50,760
Speaker 1: lot and it's a lot. Maybe there's a part two

1238
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,920
Speaker 1: of this shit too where we actually talk about the

1239
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:55,400
Speaker 1: rest of our lives after that. I don't know. You

1240
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:58,840
Speaker 1: know it is our relationship has never been better. We're

1241
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: twenty years in. Sex is fucking crazy. I mean, well,

1242
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:07,759
Speaker 1: that's also vulnerability. I think that's connection. That's like right,

1243
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:13,120
Speaker 1: going to places where the intimacy level is at places

1244
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,680
Speaker 1: that it's never been. And it sounds crazy because you

1245
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 1: hear those stories of I used to think, like when

1246
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 1: people would say, oh, marriages work, and I used to think,

1247
01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:22,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a marriage that's work.

1248
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:25,800
Speaker 1: But you know what that means like with the experience,

1249
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:31,559
Speaker 1: and you know, it's also just it's you get to

1250
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:35,240
Speaker 1: different places and there's just levels of growth, I think.

1251
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 1: But you know, I look at it too, and I think,

1252
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:42,240
Speaker 1: you know, back to people or you know, I have

1253
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:45,120
Speaker 1: friends or people we meet and they're like, oh my god,

1254
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:48,080
Speaker 1: you guys have the best relationship or oh, that's I

1255
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:50,559
Speaker 1: want to be, you know, in a relationship like you guys.

1256
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:54,000
Speaker 1: And when I never shy away from like pretending that

1257
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:58,280
Speaker 1: it's perfect. But right now it's pretty fucking perfect, and

1258
01:11:58,320 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 1: it's pretty amazing and so but always like we but

1259
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:03,000
Speaker 1: think about what I'm going through right now with my

1260
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:05,439
Speaker 1: crazy anxiety and shit, like I know, you know ya

1261
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 1: you call it perfect, but you're having to deal with

1262
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 1: the psychopath, you know what I mean, having panic attacks

1263
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:13,200
Speaker 1: and now I'm being disconnected and I'm trying to figure

1264
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:16,360
Speaker 1: out medication again. I mean, so yeah, we're always trying

1265
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,000
Speaker 1: to help out help each other. Now. Aaron happens to

1266
01:12:19,040 --> 01:12:23,080
Speaker 1: be a fucking angel sent down from heaven. She doesn't

1267
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:26,240
Speaker 1: have many things wrong. When I say that there's I'm

1268
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:29,720
Speaker 1: not being hyperbolic in any way, like she might have

1269
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 1: some anxiety over our kids, falling down on the stairs

1270
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:39,280
Speaker 1: or getting hurt or whatever. Motorcycles, right, those kinds of

1271
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:44,599
Speaker 1: external fears and stuff. But she's so solidly made and

1272
01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:50,000
Speaker 1: so solidly raised and has such incredible perspective on things,

1273
01:12:50,640 --> 01:12:53,160
Speaker 1: and that's why she's so evolved, and that's why she's

1274
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,680
Speaker 1: so loved by every single human that she comes into

1275
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:59,720
Speaker 1: contact with. Its fucking crazy, and that's why I'm so

1276
01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:04,800
Speaker 1: you know, honestly, you know, I don't know. And it

1277
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:08,240
Speaker 1: was hard. It's hard. It was hard for me post

1278
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:11,519
Speaker 1: going to Hoffmann to explain and express the way that

1279
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:15,599
Speaker 1: I could feel about you, because again, that vulnerability would hurt,

1280
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:17,759
Speaker 1: It would feel like I want to crawl into a shell.

1281
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 1: It's scary, but it's just the truth and not saying that.

1282
01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:26,360
Speaker 1: You know, life will never be perfect. We're always ebbing

1283
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:31,160
Speaker 1: and flowing, we're always hitting the bumps, and it's just

1284
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:35,639
Speaker 1: about taking it in stride, really, you know what I mean. Well,

1285
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:39,320
Speaker 1: because we've also been pretty fucking blessed. You know, it's

1286
01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:43,400
Speaker 1: like a I love be healthy children. You know, it's

1287
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:47,040
Speaker 1: like if you can be on solid ground and pretty

1288
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:49,719
Speaker 1: connected and in a good place for when the real

1289
01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:52,720
Speaker 1: stuff happens, you know, like whatever it might be your

1290
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:57,400
Speaker 1: anxiety or you know, sickness and families or whatever down

1291
01:13:57,439 --> 01:14:00,880
Speaker 1: the road. It's like and you know, I think it's

1292
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:03,880
Speaker 1: with age comes, you know, or experience and age all

1293
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:06,360
Speaker 1: of that kind of stuff. There's you just you do

1294
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,160
Speaker 1: see things differently, and it isn't just about yourself. It

1295
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 1: is such a partnership, so you know, and it's also

1296
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 1: about raising these kids and being a team there. It does.

1297
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,760
Speaker 1: It gives you this different element. We could do a

1298
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:27,640
Speaker 1: whole parenting podcast. Yes, okay, I guess you're hungry. I

1299
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:31,040
Speaker 1: have a headache. Hungry and a headache. How do you

1300
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,719
Speaker 1: feel about talking about all this? I mean, I guess

1301
01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:38,080
Speaker 1: I feel fine. It's so a part of us and

1302
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm sure I could be very judged. And you know,

1303
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:44,720
Speaker 1: for a long time I had so much to be

1304
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: judged of me. Oh god, yeah, I forgot annihilated right now. No,

1305
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:51,160
Speaker 1: but people are going to be like, how could you

1306
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:52,559
Speaker 1: stay with him? How could you do that? Da? Da

1307
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:55,360
Speaker 1: da da? I mean I had so much insecurity around

1308
01:14:55,360 --> 01:14:57,240
Speaker 1: that and people saying like, oh, well of course you

1309
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,840
Speaker 1: stayed with him, or you know, oh you once a cheater,

1310
01:15:00,920 --> 01:15:02,720
Speaker 1: always a cheater, And you know, I mean, there's so

1311
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:06,920
Speaker 1: many like judgments and things going around, but you know,

1312
01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:09,320
Speaker 1: it's a part of us. We were very young, it

1313
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:12,880
Speaker 1: was it feels like a lifetime ago, and I'm happy

1314
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:16,000
Speaker 1: we went through it then, and you kind of wanted

1315
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 1: to face a lot of things way back then. You know.

1316
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:21,919
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people probably carry shit around

1317
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:24,719
Speaker 1: and don't know why they do the things that they're doing,

1318
01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:26,960
Speaker 1: and they don't like it. And that was you and

1319
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:30,000
Speaker 1: getting into finding out why you were doing it when

1320
01:15:30,040 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 1: you had something that you treasured and loved and everything

1321
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 1: was so great, but behind closed doors there was this,

1322
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:38,960
Speaker 1: you know, all of it. Yeah, I mean, I'm okay

1323
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:45,160
Speaker 1: with it, and I love I'm scared you are, everyone

1324
01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:49,840
Speaker 1: be nice. I'm also just somebody when I'm always an

1325
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: open book. Everyone knows that. But just like you know,

1326
01:15:52,200 --> 01:15:55,120
Speaker 1: it's a big part of my life. Yeah, I guess

1327
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:58,160
Speaker 1: I could say I'm ashamed of but then I honestly,

1328
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:00,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would be without that, you

1329
01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:02,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean, because it could have come out

1330
01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:04,800
Speaker 1: later and I might not have been in a place.

1331
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,439
Speaker 1: I just could have been down the road. You could

1332
01:16:06,439 --> 01:16:10,479
Speaker 1: have had children general, you know, But there's a lot

1333
01:16:10,520 --> 01:16:12,840
Speaker 1: of factors play into it. I also am probably one

1334
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:16,080
Speaker 1: of the most least like judgmental people in the world,

1335
01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:20,240
Speaker 1: and especially after becoming a mom, you know, in this

1336
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:23,120
Speaker 1: day and age of social media and just all of it.

1337
01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:25,840
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, you know, if you don't have

1338
01:16:25,880 --> 01:16:29,000
Speaker 1: something nice to say, don't say it. And I think

1339
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:32,080
Speaker 1: there should be respect for everybody's path and it may

1340
01:16:32,080 --> 01:16:35,880
Speaker 1: not be yours. You might not agree with it, and

1341
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:39,360
Speaker 1: that's okay, you know, and you don't know other people's stories.

1342
01:16:39,400 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 1: That's the other thing. You know. It's like there's so

1343
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,120
Speaker 1: many lessons to be learned, you know. We're so quick

1344
01:16:44,160 --> 01:16:51,040
Speaker 1: to kind of you know, judge or assume or you know, label.

1345
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:54,680
Speaker 1: Oh time, and then our biggest son comes in, be

1346
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:58,960
Speaker 1: comes our teenager part two. Okay, that was our son

1347
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:07,439
Speaker 1: Wilders tucked in. We're still doing with the kids, all right, Okay.

1348
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:11,240
Speaker 1: I think that's good wrapping it up. Wow, laid it

1349
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:16,200
Speaker 1: all out there, from acting class to therapy. I know.

1350
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 1: So now twenty years in hope, we still hope we're

1351
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:26,320
Speaker 1: still together. On the podcast airs, I don't know, you

1352
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:33,200
Speaker 1: never know, all right, I Love you. Sibling Revelry is

1353
01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:36,560
Speaker 1: executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is

1354
01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:41,040
Speaker 1: Alison President, Editor is Josh Wendish. Music by Mark Hudson

1355
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,439
Speaker 1: aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love,

1356
01:17:44,880 --> 01:17:47,240
Speaker 1: rate the show and leave us a review. This show

1357
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:52,200
Speaker 1: is powered by simple cast