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Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot il, a production of I Heart Radio. Hello, friends,

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Speaker 1: welcome to j dot IL the podcast. And we we're here,

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Speaker 1: We are here today. My name is Joe Scott and

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Speaker 1: I'm here with my sister friends Ada Graydon Danceler. Hell

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Speaker 1: you notice how I said Asia because that's me. And

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Speaker 1: I'm also here with st Claire Asia. Oh god, please,

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Speaker 1: y'all know more Asia, Asia, Asia, Asia. It's Asia, y'all know,

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Speaker 1: Asian from from from kendredj Asa, Graydon Danceler and Leyah

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Speaker 1: st Clair. We're talking what we're talking about some y'all,

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Speaker 1: So okay, I need you to get involved. If you

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Speaker 1: have never had Cynicalese food, I don't know who is

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen that the foot lemons, the pamper then

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Speaker 1: and make it, and that little hiber narrow pepper and

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Speaker 1: the ginger. My god, today I think I could eat

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Speaker 1: myself to the villa. I could, I could lay down

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Speaker 1: in that. I could that that whole coast though, that

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Speaker 1: whole coast pretty much right, y'all. Yeah, No shades of

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Speaker 1: Ethiopians like y'all can keep that, but that whole the

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Speaker 1: West side, y'all got it. But that goodness that's h

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Speaker 1: and John hole. I mean, would you stop talking about people?

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Speaker 1: People wouldn't great breads? No show? I'm sorry. Do you

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Speaker 1: do you like nine? Yes? I do. Don't make me

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Speaker 1: a racist. I do like nine. I love I love none.

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Speaker 1: I love Indian food because again you've got you've got

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Speaker 1: a raising season, like a yeast, a yeast based or

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Speaker 1: a flower based. Yeah it'swist African, right, Yeah, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. What I taste the East, I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm from there. I love lavender lemonade

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Speaker 1: as well. Okay, well that's just ship. Listen. I'm just

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Speaker 1: throwing all the stuff and laughing to go good at everything.

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Speaker 1: Labora to Chie, oh my god, and Norstrom you know

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Speaker 1: at the cafe and nors from everybody, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: laborator Chie. I will all also say too. I love

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Speaker 1: a good moist piece of cape. Oh. I like chocolate

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Speaker 1: seven up. Who it's a very rum cake carry cake

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Speaker 1: without the nuts because I'm allergic. So but yeah, chocolate,

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Speaker 1: chocolate and yellow. I love a peach cobbler. Okay, the

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Speaker 1: best who are making it? I've always look the best

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Speaker 1: cobbler I've had. It was an Italian lady. It was

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Speaker 1: a great great grandmama's recipe. They closed on the restaurant

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Speaker 1: and I literally stood outside of it and cried, I

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Speaker 1: promise you. They had a a strawberry apple peach cobbler

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Speaker 1: with a cinnamon ice cream that was child like Cinamon. Man,

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Speaker 1: my mouth is water. That was the best damn cobbler

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Speaker 1: I've ever had. To remember that time we played that

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Speaker 1: game and we talked about imitating Jill, talking about will

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Speaker 1: pontificate listen or any experience, really you you will be

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Speaker 1: like I saw this lease. She's going to talk about

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Speaker 1: the little drop of dew on top of the leaf.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna give you a story about some ship. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're better. You gotta right, you gotta right. Thank you friends,

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Speaker 1: Thank you friends. It's really my freaking pleasure. I love

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Speaker 1: to do it. Yo. Food is good, And because food

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Speaker 1: is good, people are gonna be all different sizes. Yeah, yep,

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Speaker 1: I know. I know that I probably be a different

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Speaker 1: person if I live back in California when I lived

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Speaker 1: in Cali, because the the the whole. Not a different person,

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Speaker 1: but I'd be a lot more fit than I am

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Speaker 1: currently because um, damn what do we roll bikes all

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Speaker 1: the time every day? Ye a meeting, it's a hike

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Speaker 1: that on that ship was fired? Yeah yeah. But I

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Speaker 1: I've never been a skinny person, not one time. Never,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't remember being skinny, never slimmer, but

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Speaker 1: never thin. Never. Oh, I don't recall these things. If

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Speaker 1: I was, I was a child, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Did we all have that in common? Is that YouTube agent?

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Speaker 1: Was you skinny? Was you skinny? Ever? At a point

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Speaker 1: you was kind of though? Well, I was definitely a

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Speaker 1: skinny kid, okay, tall a skinny kid, you know, but

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Speaker 1: having children changes all the things. And for me, I

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Speaker 1: just wasn't never that snap back king like everybody else was.

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Speaker 1: I just never was that girl. So I just have never.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been under a size four teen since I

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Speaker 1: was twenty two, So my whole adult life I have

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Speaker 1: been considered considered plus size. A few times. I lost

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Speaker 1: weight blada la, la la. And then I got pregnant

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Speaker 1: and I ate car bloated while I was nursing, and YadA, YadA, YadA,

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Speaker 1: And what you see is a compilation of several pregnancies

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Speaker 1: and post pregnancy habits a man. So you want. That's

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Speaker 1: my opinion. I don't care what you say. That's my

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Speaker 1: Opinionic ages Hot give it back and makes the sexiest

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Speaker 1: legs ever beautiful. And I want to say this, these

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Speaker 1: legs in their age, they have a little more cellulated

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Speaker 1: on them than they used to. And I was a

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Speaker 1: little worried about throwing these jokers out on folks because

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Speaker 1: I was like, I get so many compliments on my

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Speaker 1: legs and now they're looking a little different. Let me

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Speaker 1: tell y'all something. Let me tell y'all what will change

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Speaker 1: a woman the temperature outside? Yeah where. What I decided was,

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Speaker 1: y'all are going to get the backs of these legs

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna enjoy or you're or you're not. But

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be miss and bloo about that. I

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Speaker 1: boy man, wow uh. And it's interesting that we're having

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Speaker 1: this conversation right now. You guys know where I am

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Speaker 1: with You know that where I am with it. I

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Speaker 1: decided that I was playing Mahalia Jackson and I was

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Speaker 1: gonna add some weight. And I'm telling you I loved

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Speaker 1: every moment of it. But now that I'm here and

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to start shooting, we're not yet but we're

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Speaker 1: closer than we were before. And um, I don't feel great.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel great. You know, there's new things happening,

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Speaker 1: you know, um needs feel different, Ankles swelling, you know,

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Speaker 1: risks are different, Like I feel different, and I'm very

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Speaker 1: excited about um. When this is I want to do

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Speaker 1: it first. I can't think about when it's over. I

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Speaker 1: had to to to get involved and be inside this

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Speaker 1: this role, which is very excit fighting for me. But

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Speaker 1: I Hellia had had arms that shook, you know, and

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Speaker 1: you need that because you need to know everything. Hell

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Speaker 1: you felt like with every all kinds of weight, whether

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Speaker 1: every physical or otherwise. Look, I'm here, so they're here.

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Speaker 1: I'm here for all of it. Yeah. It'll feel good

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Speaker 1: too when you finally you know it. Yeah, because also

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Speaker 1: I don't know my mind. I'm also thinking your body

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Speaker 1: also knows where it's supposed to be. So when it's

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Speaker 1: finally it's time, Yeah, you know what I mean, You'll

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Speaker 1: be like when you get back to that person, that

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Speaker 1: person that you know of yourself. Well, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of women that know exactly where they're comfortable. And it's

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Speaker 1: not even you know, it's not a size fourteen it's

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Speaker 1: about an eighteen twenty UM. They're comfortable with it and

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Speaker 1: it looks good on them. A lot of women, a

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Speaker 1: lot of women. And I love the splace that we're

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Speaker 1: in right now where you start to see more of that,

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Speaker 1: you know, and but still like women in the public eye,

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Speaker 1: they suffer a lot. Like I followed quote unquote um influencers,

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Speaker 1: models on Instagram, and eventually we get that Instagram live

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Speaker 1: where they go live and somebody has done something, says

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Speaker 1: something that's deeply triggering, that's deeply hurtful and make some

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Speaker 1: kind of question their own comfort in their own bodies,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And so it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: a hard thing to watch because it's kind of like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: on one hand, now we have plus size models, we

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Speaker 1: have plus sized lines, we have so much like that

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Speaker 1: caters to and celebrates the beauty of women in their

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Speaker 1: different shapes and sizes and stuff. But you just see

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Speaker 1: that same kind of old adage that there's something wrong

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Speaker 1: with you, You're supposed to hate yourself, you're not healthy,

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Speaker 1: you're not done it, lub or blah blah, And it's like, uh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you see the effect on the humanity of that person see,

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Speaker 1: But it also feels like, I don't know, in general,

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Speaker 1: I just feel like we're gonna through all these kind

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Speaker 1: of new eras and acknowledging that we are again as

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Speaker 1: a people, not on the monolith, as a country, as

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Speaker 1: all kind of things. And it seems like, and I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of us follow like Lizzo and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: the things that she's going through are are I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say new in a way, but

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Speaker 1: I want to say because she is, she is so popular,

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Speaker 1: because I don't I can't recall another person like her

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Speaker 1: being as popular, right, So I feel for her in

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Speaker 1: the sense that she's kind of like a sacrificial lamb.

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Speaker 1: But she's gonna go through some things. But it's also

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Speaker 1: in the process of opening the door. And I was

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Speaker 1: telling y'all earlier, you know, I'm glad that these conversations

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Speaker 1: are well rounded in a way to where, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: see the sad moments. But I was telling y'all, I

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Speaker 1: watched her whole season of her her reality show. One

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Speaker 1: thing that I was happy she touched on to us, Listen,

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Speaker 1: we're all this is a show where you guys are

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Speaker 1: trying to be my dancers, and we're all thick girls

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Speaker 1: and we are proud big girls. However, there is a

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Speaker 1: health factor involved too. You have to have stamina. You

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Speaker 1: can't just you know, this is something it's not magic

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Speaker 1: that I just appear on the stage and I can

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Speaker 1: work for two hours and do all these other dances

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Speaker 1: that takes work as well. So I think, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just think that I'm glad that we're having these

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Speaker 1: well rounded conversations because all that need to be seen.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, the bulliant process of what you're going through,

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Speaker 1: but also to like there's there's also a health situation

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Speaker 1: involved as well. But I'm glad she approached it because

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Speaker 1: I think what happens is that you gotta have a

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Speaker 1: do you know how I'm really big on like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you gotta hear from the person who's experience in the world.

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Speaker 1: It's from that space when when somebody who is not

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Speaker 1: in that is not experience in the world that way

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Speaker 1: says oh, I'm concerned about your health, and they think

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Speaker 1: and and that's a dog whistle wrapped up in fake concerned.

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Speaker 1: That really is faphobia Like that, Yeah, no, that's not

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Speaker 1: cool because the fact that you can have a woman

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Speaker 1: who's a certain size who does have stamina but still

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Speaker 1: ain't small. It's possible that the point is that, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta have stamina, but your stamina and ability to

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Speaker 1: have it is not always directly as associated to your size.

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Speaker 1: This is skinny people who can't walk them off. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so that's important, important for us to kind of say, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's good to have a well rounded conversation, but you

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Speaker 1: can't have a well rounded conversation with somebody who really

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Speaker 1: at the core of what they believe is that they

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Speaker 1: believe that you're wrong and you're who you are is

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Speaker 1: is problematic. You're you're not attractive and that you're not

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Speaker 1: not I don't I don't think that everybody that's thin

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Speaker 1: is attractive, or everybody that's tall is attractive, or short

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Speaker 1: that's attractive. Like you know that part, that part. If

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Speaker 1: you're like agent said, if you're coming from a position

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Speaker 1: where you really feel like the person is unattractive, you

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Speaker 1: need to you need to shut up. It is not

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Speaker 1: your place to talk about somebody's health. If you're if

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Speaker 1: that's on the underbelly of it all, cut that out.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back. Do y'all feel me on the

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Speaker 1: sense of like Lizzo being I want to call her

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Speaker 1: a pioneer of sorts, but call her a sacrificial lion. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's that's what I'm gonna call her a sacrificial because

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Speaker 1: she she's out here, honey. And you know, I write

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Speaker 1: more sexual songs and I think Lizzo ever has ever. Um,

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Speaker 1: Lizzo songs are uplifting and funny and alive and uh

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of female empowerment in them. And um,

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Speaker 1: the woman is talented. She how many boat covers has

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Speaker 1: she had? And I'm just saying, I'm just saying to

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Speaker 1: some people, as soon as she hits social media she

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Speaker 1: starts to twork at all that somehow goods the race.

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Speaker 1: I'm tired of seeing that. I don't want to see

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Speaker 1: her ass when I'm not. It's a lot of asses

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Speaker 1: out here, you know, people on on my Facebook because

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Speaker 1: you know that's where all my seasoned people are. That no, no,

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Speaker 1: no shade. But yeah, but would I be your Facebook

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Speaker 1: when I'm on the Facebook, maybe like, well, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to see none of the asses. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: use a motherfucking You've been looking at asses a long

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Speaker 1: long time. The first one to ask is to get

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Speaker 1: that link for JESSI Williams. Though, first of all, wait

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Speaker 1: that link that I'm gonna be quiet on. Oh sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't know what. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: You're right because here your point, I feel like you

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Speaker 1: an I don't know what you're referencing, like you and

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Speaker 1: something to keep going. I'm sure you on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: and and blushing and happy and wish to see more,

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Speaker 1: and I wish I wish to see more. I am

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Speaker 1: not touching my titties right now. One am not pleasuring

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Speaker 1: myself for this book. More often, Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: more more often. But see, this goes to our point

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Speaker 1: about see because he likes them fit and that's something

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Speaker 1: that you But these other body types, you know, people

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Speaker 1: have problems with I see, and that's in the when

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Speaker 1: you're talking about men um I personally, I like a

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Speaker 1: little pot belly was on that stage with that water

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Speaker 1: dripping the circulation, but not be as half. That's all

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Speaker 1: as I'm saying. What I'm saying is that face on

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Speaker 1: love looked at like said the same thing. We would

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Speaker 1: we would be having the same Yeah, if if the

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Speaker 1: if the reality a phase on Love was the same

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Speaker 1: reality as this other person that no idea you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: If those two things were identical, we would still be

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Speaker 1: having this conversation. And let me tell you all, the

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Speaker 1: fluffy men would be one and around here like we

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Speaker 1: told you R. But that's actually y'all, but the fluffy

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Speaker 1: thing don't work for men because also too, like I

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Speaker 1: told you on the joke I wrote, it takes two

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Speaker 1: inches off. So ain't not sexty about that? That's just selfish. Well, baby,

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Speaker 1: I'll say this to an extent, to an extent, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not. No, we don't. We don't have to talking.

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Speaker 1: I'm not talking no, no no, no, I'm not talking about

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Speaker 1: a little push. I'm talking about the level when we

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Speaker 1: would talking about Mr. Love, I was talking about like

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Speaker 1: that level of stomach definitely medically and scientifically is keeping

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Speaker 1: two inches away from your sister or brother, whoever you are.

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Speaker 1: So I just say that's selfish. Now, y'all can go

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Speaker 1: on and talk about as much as you want. Either way,

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Speaker 1: you are not getting your full potential of what you

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Speaker 1: could get. Well, I ain't talking about because ain't talking

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Speaker 1: about what what about something? What about some money? Who's

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Speaker 1: saying you know that's big and I can't get up

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Speaker 1: in there? Can I? Just? On a jade ill side note,

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Speaker 1: A dude was is telling me that all the no

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Speaker 1: shade to the women who have had their b B

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Speaker 1: B B, but they're gonna be b B. But but um,

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Speaker 1: a lot of men are have in trouble getting too. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I just say something to think about. You gotta get

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Speaker 1: you gotta How can I? Okay, but I know we're

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Speaker 1: talking about something different, but I just want to put

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Speaker 1: that on your mind. I'm just crazy to say this.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put this out here, Okay. How can I

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Speaker 1: put this so that my husband does not fully divorce

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Speaker 1: me after this podcast? Why I'm gonna put it. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna put it like this, Okay. I'm saying that there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of things, many many things that can happen

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Speaker 1: in a relationship with two fluffy people, okay, and there

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Speaker 1: is a high level of pleasure that can come out

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Speaker 1: of such a coupling. Did I just in which hold

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Speaker 1: on in which in which no potential has not been reached?

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Speaker 1: And so I just want to put there because for

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Speaker 1: those of us couples out there who jiggle, I just

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Speaker 1: want you all to know what you can do. You're

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Speaker 1: not a word stamp. I know what y'all can do.

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Speaker 1: What y'all do? Oh my god, aga, I hear you,

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Speaker 1: and I stand with you fully, fully jsy solidarity with me.

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Speaker 1: I am she ain't a good example neither, and who

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Speaker 1: is the person that once you wouldn't I I want

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Speaker 1: to notice fluffy pein that you're talking about, because if

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Speaker 1: you don't have a fluffy pant reference and again I

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it like yet you fluffy

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Speaker 1: to reference, but I had fluffy tummy peen and I

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Speaker 1: was saying, when it's concentrated in the tummy and it's protruding,

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Speaker 1: that's when the the inches get taken away. I want

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Speaker 1: to talking about all over the body, you fluffy blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. I was talking about particularly the belly fat

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Speaker 1: that protrude when he can't see it in the in

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Speaker 1: the in the mirror. I'm saying that that physical because

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Speaker 1: it's it is, it's medical. I want you, I want

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Speaker 1: you to consider a pillow. It happened to me, a

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Speaker 1: triangular pillow. Uh, they're coming velvet and all different colors.

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Speaker 1: Trauma comes out in so many different ways and also

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Speaker 1: a stool he was and get them. He didn't lose

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Speaker 1: it for me, he lost the weight, but I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: don't know more and that it comes out now, it

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Speaker 1: comes out this and this is a this is a

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Speaker 1: good moment. This is a teachable moment. He's the one

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Speaker 1: that's told me. He's the one that told me this

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Speaker 1: is a teachable moment because I just want to tell

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Speaker 1: y'all this is what happens. See when we have like

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Speaker 1: difficult conversations, right, our tendency and I do it to

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Speaker 1: our tendency is to use our personal experience as the

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Speaker 1: same And I was using my personal experience to debunk

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Speaker 1: a very general statement that you were making about a

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Speaker 1: group of people in which you are not experiencing the

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Speaker 1: world as and with I'm just talking about so this

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Speaker 1: will say, this is all love. I just want everybody here.

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Speaker 1: This is this is what we have to work through

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Speaker 1: as a people that we yes, we work through as

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Speaker 1: a people. Right, this is this is that type of

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Speaker 1: you know, beautiful work though are we use We don't

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Speaker 1: use our personal experience as our world sample, as our

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Speaker 1: general sample. We want to create a much larger sample,

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Speaker 1: which is why a Lizzo is important. No, but this

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Speaker 1: is why Lizza is important, because she's able to bring

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Speaker 1: voice to and she put up a platform wide sample

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Speaker 1: of people and particularly black women, who are experiencing the

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Speaker 1: world in their bodies, that are really being rejected in

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Speaker 1: many ways through society and of course white supremacist delusion values.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna I'm gonna throw this in there. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna throw this in there. There are a lot of

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Speaker 1: people who date who they think other people, um would like,

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Speaker 1: rather than who they actually like. Right, So, and I

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Speaker 1: can say that from I'm going to say this from

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Speaker 1: my experience that I know a lot of actors and

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Speaker 1: rappers and singers that that you know that have the

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Speaker 1: the quintessential figure eight wife. Um, but are in my

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Speaker 1: motherfucking d ms wanting to give me baths and rub

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Speaker 1: oil or my body? Okay, okay, okay, I mean rub oil. Like, listen,

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Speaker 1: everybody getting that offer. Well, I'm saying it's messed up. Though,

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Speaker 1: that's messed up. That's messed up. Thought. I just appreciate,

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Speaker 1: you know, I shut it down because that's that huh. No. Um,

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Speaker 1: But like, look, don't fetishize me, but I appreciate it

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Speaker 1: that you don't fetishis I see what you see. I

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Speaker 1: get what you're getting. I do, I do. Um, I'm

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Speaker 1: more than that, but thanks um. I just like the

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Speaker 1: idea of someone appreciating all the meat. Yeah, all the

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Speaker 1: get into it, all the suppleness, all the softness, get

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Speaker 1: into it. What you act like you don't like it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I don't know. That's the part,

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Speaker 1: because the beauty thing is so and and it's like

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Speaker 1: and it's so and it really does take up a

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Speaker 1: lot of the room and a lot of the space

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Speaker 1: in this conversation. Is what are they? What beauty standards

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Speaker 1: are and how kind people are to you based on

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Speaker 1: how good looking they perceive you to be or how

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Speaker 1: close you are to the standard, which we all know

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Speaker 1: what that standard is based on. Okay, And so there's

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Speaker 1: so that whole thing where it's like the it gets

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Speaker 1: down to even basic grace and kindness, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. And then when you throw it into an

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Speaker 1: arena where people are watching you and seeing you all

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Speaker 1: the time and healing your work, it can get even

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Speaker 1: more so. And I think sometimes that that turns out

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Speaker 1: to be um. Like I saw somebody tweet this one

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Speaker 1: time a white person was like tweeted something like white

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Speaker 1: people are so scared to become minorities. It's like, are

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Speaker 1: scared to become minorities, and like we don't mistreat minorities here,

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Speaker 1: do we. It's like the whole question where it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like so the fear of people being overweight quote

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Speaker 1: unquote or whatever. It's like, I think at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, we we have to admit how mean

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Speaker 1: and nasty and just generally unpleasant we are to people

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Speaker 1: when we perceived their bodies as being what we don't

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Speaker 1: think is right. You know what I'm saying. Yes, ma'am,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. I have had it was it

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Speaker 1: was don't experience if you will. It's been many years

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Speaker 1: since it occurred, but I was. I wasn't Why did

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Speaker 1: I get married and I had on a fat suit?

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Speaker 1: Or why did I get married? Which is you know,

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Speaker 1: that's just in itself a fact. But nonetheless, that scene

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Speaker 1: where we're on the plane and they were saying to

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Speaker 1: Sheila that she had to get off the plane, that

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Speaker 1: she needed to buy two seats. The director uh Tyler

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Speaker 1: Perry had the entire extras he had them saying mean

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Speaker 1: things to me while I was, you know, in that character,

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Speaker 1: So it got really ugly. I'm trying to to to

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Speaker 1: stay professional and save my lines and in the most

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Speaker 1: honest way that I possibly can, and the extras were

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Speaker 1: just going in on me. It was it was It's

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Speaker 1: not really odd, it's kind of it's a part of

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Speaker 1: the work. Um But I did not remember that very

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Speaker 1: clearly and how painful it was. It was the thing

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Speaker 1: that they's when they were allowed to say those things,

396
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: when they were just egged on to say means ship.

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00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: The mean ship that they said was like, wow, I

398
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: mean all kinds of uglies and all. Because it's one

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00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: thing for that to be scripted, but it's another thing

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00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,239
Speaker 1: for like it definitely wasn't I'm so worried about your

401
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: blood pressure, right, But that's why I'm saying that's that's

402
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: kind of traumatizing. That's trauma. It's worked trauma because it's

403
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 1: like those people didn't have a script. They are coming

404
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: out of their hearts and saying the ship as they

405
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: are looking at you. That's not cool and spring and

406
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 1: a similar thing about colorism when he did when he

407
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: did Um School Days Sisters, and treated them different. Steven

408
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: Spielberg did the same thing. Um. And with Sophia um

409
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: when she was surrounded by those those the clan of

410
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: white folks. Um. All of those things were unscripted. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's why all these actors and actors be traumatized as

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00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 1: a bother when they come over. Yeah, damn. I mean

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00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: and for years, for years out people would say to

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00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 1: me at the airport, for years, I think it just

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00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: stopped finally maybe two years ago maybe when people would

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00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: say they're gonna let you on the plane. Oh oh,

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00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: but they don't even happen on an airplane. And all

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Speaker 1: my years as a flight atendants daughter, there has never

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00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: been a situation where a person has been asked to

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Speaker 1: buy two seats and anything they give you the air

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Speaker 1: to set bill. But you know what's interesting, like I said,

422
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: like you pointed out where people are able to say

423
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 1: things out of their hearts. Yeah, we're saying that that's

424
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 1: traumatizing for an actor to experience that, but people are

425
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: experiencing this every day in their everyday lives. And even

426
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: they may not be getting the exact words all the time,

427
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: trust me, they're getting those words, but they're also getting

428
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: the energy, that quiet energy. It's the same thing that

429
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: when you're black, when you walk into a room, a

430
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: white person could not actually even speak to you, and

431
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: you can feel the discomfort. And some work is already

432
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: so subversive and so built into our society that people

433
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: may not even be thinking it, but it's so you.

434
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: You think it, you're almost you feel it going in like, oh,

435
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 1: I know I must feel this way. I'm also bla

436
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. You know what I mean, And honestly listen,

437
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: and I want to be clear, like I do recognize

438
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: on the spectrum of of bigness, fluffiness, fatness plus sizeness,

439
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: whatever word you feel comfortable with, that I'm on the

440
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: smaller end of that. And so just like being a

441
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 1: life scamped person, I gotta recognize that I don't have

442
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: the same experience as somebody who is a size twenty

443
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: four or somebody who is is on the law on

444
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: the opposite end of that spectrum. So I only want

445
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: to make that part clear. But it's devastating. It has

446
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: been in my life devastating to go into a store

447
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: or to be perceived as a public person when people

448
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: think you're supposed to look a certain way or just

449
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 1: a that, and you can't find it. It's more expensive.

450
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: You can't so it affects your life, not only in

451
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: the emotionally, but it affects your life financially. So yeah,

452
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: maybe a person doesn't have to buy an extra seat

453
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: on our plane. But once upon a time, plus size

454
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: clothing was deep very expensive. Look for ugly ship. I've

455
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: had to buy two of things and I and and

456
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: I still do bye bye two so that I could

457
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: use the fabric to make it fit for me. Mm

458
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: hmmmm hmm. Yeah, I'm just grateful that I could do it.

459
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: I want to wear But there's a lot of people that,

460
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: you know, the clothes are just they're not what they want.

461
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: So they end up being creative, as we always are,

462
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: finding new ways to make it work for us. We're

463
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back.

464
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that I did not appreciate the comparison

465
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: to to Live. I didn't appreciate that. I'm sure she

466
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: didn't appreciate it either, especially the way that they made

467
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: the comparison. Come on, oh, this is deal's classy, she's trashy.

468
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: Fully dressed. I was fully dressed. In the picture, you know, like,

469
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: and she's coming up to her to her private Jane

470
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: jet with her ass out. That's her, I asked on

471
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: her jet. H Okay. So the question we asked ourselves

472
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: behind the scenes was why these two women, why who

473
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: totally different make totally different art. But y'all decided to

474
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: compare them, and you're just about to use respectability politics

475
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: among other things two, you know, to make this weird

476
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: compare And people rode with it. Oh they did, because

477
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: on social media it's like that, that's fine, I ya

478
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: gotta do it, Okay, lots on Joel. But I was

479
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: proud of the people who spoke out against it, who

480
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: called it for what it was, which so much, Thank

481
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 1: you so much. I've never been a fan of comparisons

482
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: at all. I just don't like it. It's like comparing

483
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: this leaf to that leaf. You know. I just don't

484
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: think it's that easy. You don't. You don't know the

485
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: experiences of that leave. You don't know. Maybe they might

486
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: be they're more than likely made of the same things,

487
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: but they have not had the same experiences. Don't do that.

488
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: Don't do that. I don't I don't want to be

489
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: compared to anybody do you, Why would you want that?

490
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 1: I can't imagine you're your whole, a whole individual being

491
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: um with your own ways and your own experiences. That's

492
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: some bullshit to me. I think it's very weak. The

493
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: fact of it is that they wouldn't compare Lizzo to

494
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: Jenneko or a Lizzo too. I mean insert person here

495
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: that is not over a twelve. Ye. No, they wouldn't have.

496
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: And the thing with Lizzo that continues to be just

497
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 1: concerning for me is that I'm expect people at the

498
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: top of the tone of pole to do what they do.

499
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 1: I'm expect white people to white I'm gonna expect men

500
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: to men. But what bothers me is just this the

501
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: weird kind of conversations that I have with black women

502
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 1: about Lizzo or about just the issue of her body

503
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: and their discomfort with it. Everybody needs to be the program, Asia,

504
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, why are you surprised? We all need

505
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: to not surprised. Just hurt me. I love it, I

506
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: love it. I I'm here for this, I'm here for that. Okay,

507
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: I'm on this podcast for that right there. But yeah, No, seriously, though,

508
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: She's like you know this, this discomfort, we are going

509
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: to have to really look at ourselves. Like we we

510
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: pride ourselves on being a sisterhood. We pride ourselves on

511
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: you know, we're proud of ourselves. We we love ourselves.

512
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. But the minute that a

513
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: black woman, our fellow black woman, pushes the envelope on

514
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: something steps just outside of where we feel comfortable, and

515
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: we leave her for the dogs, she might be embarrassing us.

516
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: Speak on it. I'm only speaking on it because I

517
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 1: had a woman from an older generation called me on

518
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: that picture of her going up them steps and I

519
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: had to go, person of another generation, I need to

520
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: stop you for one second. Let's do a little d programming,

521
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: because that's that's a whole black woman. We are not

522
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 1: a mona lift. That's her body. She is beautiful. You

523
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: enjoy her talents so much. You enjoy every word she says.

524
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: You you're working out to every song she's saying. What

525
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: is really the problem. But we're not embarrassed by black

526
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: women who are out here, you know, perpetuating anti black politics,

527
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 1: because she's the first such and such or so and

528
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: so you by that every week We see it all

529
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: the time. We see it all time, somebody in in

530
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: in those the tight pants, the legings with the whatever

531
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: that whatever the thing is that kind of cups your butt.

532
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: We see that in the in the airport, to see

533
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: it in the market, to see it wherever you go.

534
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: If somebody has asked this out and you've got a

535
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 1: problem with Lizza, I mean, I'm just saying it's I

536
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: know why. It's about confronting the things that we secretly

537
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: believe about ourselves that we know we're not true who

538
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: we believed them still because they we they're deeply embedded

539
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: in who we think we are. And that's that's that's

540
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,439
Speaker 1: the part where we have to stop being afraid to say, yeah,

541
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm cool with box braids, but not

542
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: box braids with gold teeth, or I'm cool with, uh,

543
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: you know, a head wrap, because now that's awesome and regal, right,

544
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: but I don't want to bond it. I got a

545
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: problem with the bucket though. Like, so there's some of

546
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: this I think we really have to kind of confront.

547
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that all of our thoughts are wrong.

548
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: It just means like a haird wrap though, Asia, because

549
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: they are kind of different. I'm listen. I remember I

550
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: remember a time when I wore a hair wrap and

551
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 1: I'm just forty three. Okay, so we didn't talk about

552
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,240
Speaker 1: I'm not a boomer. Um, you know what I'm saying.

553
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: I remember wearing a hair wrap and people and and

554
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 1: older black people feeling like that that was a little

555
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: bit much unprofessional. Not right? Uh oh, I see. Oh you.

556
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: I know you enter your little afrocentric thing, but you

557
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: know you're gonna have to do something with your hair.

558
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: I used to love do something with your hair. When

559
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 1: you're gonna do something with your hair, the trauma is real, y'all.

560
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 1: That's what every time I hear that kind of should,

561
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh man, the white man that got

562
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: us all fun up? You just yeah, but you see

563
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: where comfortable we're talking about it as it pertains to

564
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: our skin color and our hair, but we don't want

565
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: to talk about it as it pertains to our sexuality

566
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: or our body type. That too. You're right, you're right, right,

567
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 1: But it's it's that also, the whole concept that once

568
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: he takes it and makes it mainstream, I never looked

569
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: at it like that, right right, Well, once the white

570
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: man start doing it, then we're like, oh, that's cool,

571
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: you do it. I'm trying to figure out how the

572
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:47,760
Speaker 1: myths just get continuously perpetuated. Um. That that part drives

573
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: me nuts. Bigger girls give better head. Um, And I

574
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: heard it forever. That's some silly ship because of the

575
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: eating a lot. Oh that's come from. She uses her

576
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: mouth to eat so much that that's what she'll She'll

577
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: suck your dig like she hungry as he listen if it,

578
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: if it was said, it should be repeated so that

579
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: we understand just how raggedy we are. Because I heard

580
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: that stuff too. And so it's okay to sexualize a

581
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: woman who a woman who you perceived to be fat fluffy.

582
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: Plus if you it's okay to sexualize that woman but

583
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: she can't beat your black girl magic, it's like, it's

584
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,800
Speaker 1: good to do that. I think. I think what happens

585
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: was so funny about Lizzo in particular, because you can

586
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: say it's about a lot, but it was funny about

587
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: Lizza was that she went straight for the body stuff, right,

588
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 1: she went straight forward, straight forward. The stereotypes. Y'all are

589
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: fine to say this until a woman decides to say

590
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: it about herself, because I think that that's really when

591
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 1: you can use it to weaponize it against somebody, can you.

592
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: If you can over sexualize a woman against her will,

593
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: that's okay. But if she decides to say I'm highly sexual,

594
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 1: or she decides to say, um this or I'm that

595
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: are you're gonna look at my butt no matter what

596
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: it looks like to you, then now that's a problem.

597
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: We can't have you out here being empowered all the

598
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: same stuff that we used to put you in bondage,

599
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 1: because that's what the funk it is. That's it. When

600
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 1: you are empowered, when you when you have decided for yourself,

601
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 1: how dare you? Who do you think you are? I'm

602
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 1: going to try to minimize you, knowing knowing that if

603
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: you had, if they had the opportunity two have your

604
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 1: life or be in your in your walk, they would

605
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, they hands down, they would do it.

606
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 1: That's we gotta say, uplifted her in a way. I

607
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: feel that as as a sacrificial lyon that she is

608
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 1: in a way because the only people that are really

609
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: truly half her back at the end of the day,

610
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: it's probably sisters like that. I mean, I really and

611
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: that's when we owe it to her and like her

612
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 1: to check ourselves. We owe it to her, we owe

613
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: it to ourselves. Really, you know what I'm saying, And

614
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: this is the process age. And were trying. I think

615
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 1: we we we we we some of us are trying.

616
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to lie for me. I'm gonna put this

617
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: out there. My daughter, she had a dress on one time,

618
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: like a body kind like vibe and you know, and

619
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: I made a comment about an undergodent like shape wear

620
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: to keep it in one place shape and she was

621
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: just kind of like, you know, you really wouldn't say

622
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: this to me, if you know. I was, you know,

623
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: insert other kids in the household, and I was just like,

624
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: you know, I said, I'm gonna sit with that. I'm

625
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: gonna sit with that because I know how I function right,

626
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 1: And I said, and I say all these things to

627
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 1: us to help us to kind of work through these things.

628
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 1: But I struggle with it too. I'm I'm I go

629
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: through the world in this body and I don't go

630
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: in so we're clothes without without a shape wear on

631
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,959
Speaker 1: the knees. I wear that. You know what I'm saying.

632
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: I My daughters have pushed me two live what I talk,

633
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 1: but then also to understand there's more to the conversation

634
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: than what I currently know. So it's like, yeah, that's

635
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: cool what you said, But you not only have to

636
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: live what you're saying, but you also have to be

637
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: brave enough to push beyond what you know to be true.

638
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 1: You have to ask us continually ask yourself these questions,

639
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 1: why is this a concern for me? I have a

640
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: cousin who posted a picture and address just like this.

641
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:52,479
Speaker 1: If you pressed, like, but she's a size for mom?

642
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:56,760
Speaker 1: Why is that? Why is that? What is it about?

643
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: What is it about it that's making you huhh? Is

644
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: there any gray in there? Like? Is there any functional

645
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,919
Speaker 1: reasons why you was like outside of you're just gonna

646
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: look like you just falling out. I feel like it

647
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: was completely aesthetic. That was I had no what what reason?

648
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 1: Give me an actual reason around my child's wellness physically

649
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: or emotionally that she needed to have one A girl

650
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: sweat lines. But then again, I guess I guess that

651
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 1: don't matter neither. You go ahead, sweat Honestly, I'll even

652
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: put this out here because it's important to put your

653
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: junk out there a little bit, right, I don't want

654
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 1: you'll have on my junk, but I'm gonna let youall

655
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: have this one. I said the word and I had

656
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: to had to throw it back, said the word meat.

657
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: Oh it looks neither. I mean, we are reprogramming. But

658
00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: you hear how terrible that sounds. Easily I said, but

659
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: see that's what I'm saying, shifting the lens so you

660
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: understand what you said? Now? Can you imagine that there

661
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: is a chance that I said that it even though

662
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: I apologize, there's a chance she'll hold that for very

663
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,879
Speaker 1: But but did we did we really hold it? Did

664
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 1: we did? We? We held it like that like every word,

665
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: Like every word has to be filtered. It's a lot.

666
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: Every word doesn't have to be filtered, but every word

667
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: you have together snatched. We we have these words we

668
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,720
Speaker 1: do and I know I'm guilty of it. But it's

669
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: also something within you when you when you are snatched,

670
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: and you look in the mirror before you build a house,

671
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: you do go. It's not about other people. I don't

672
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 1: know it is it is, though it is about other people.

673
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: It is about other people. It would have to be

674
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: because who who? I can't just think who wants to

675
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 1: feel pain. Oh yeah, no the bank cool. Who wants

676
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,439
Speaker 1: to put on something that is holding their breath and

677
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 1: and pushing their meat? Who wants that? No? So can I.

678
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,399
Speaker 1: You don't do it in your private time. You don't

679
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 1: know when you're walking around by yourself at home, you know,

680
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: or when you go run to the market real quick.

681
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 1: You don't put on a whole contraption to do that.

682
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: But I got this really weird. This is I might

683
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 1: have this unpopular thought. I just I also feel that

684
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: way sometimes in the mirror when I've been like working

685
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 1: out good at eating right? Is that to say, like, now,

686
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 1: I'm glad you said it all right? And we should

687
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: I not feel Uh? I think what happens to feel good? Yeah,

688
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: you should feel good if your body is functioning good

689
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: and you like the way your body looks, that's that's fine.

690
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm trying to say is this is

691
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say. My child, I felt good

692
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 1: about the way she looked. Yeah, and then you kind

693
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 1: of came in with them, and I came in and up,

694
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: and then she had to put you onto your own

695
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: trauma and deep, God, she was self aware enough and

696
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 1: brave enough to check me like you, giving myself a

697
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: little bit of credit, thank God, and good for me

698
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 1: enough enough to hear what she had to say. Yes, man,

699
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: this is what This is what I'm trying to say.

700
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you don't have a right to

701
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: decide what makes you feel good. You don't have a

702
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: right to strip somebody else of that. Hi, Okay, I

703
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: got it. I have never talked about them titties. Again,

704
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: I'm preaching, preaching to me. He's speaking to me. I'm

705
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: never talking about those titties ever that I'm talking about.

706
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, waitnute, waitnut she yea,

707
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 1: because that's been recording. That's fine because I see where

708
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 1: you could go in and I see I'm working. I

709
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do the work. Okay, so I hear

710
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: the assignment. Well you can yet, but she me and

711
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: you talk about them, Titi is different. So and I

712
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: love I'm not talking about I'm not gonna talk about

713
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: them more conversation after the break. I love us. I

714
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: love us because this is how you have conversations with

715
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: people who you love, and how those conversations didn't start

716
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: to spoke out, you know, within community, and so so

717
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,760
Speaker 1: it doesn't become as hard. You know what I'm saying.

718
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 1: That's how things I feel like change because the real

719
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: change is the change that happens in culture. Culture doesn't

720
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: change without changing how you think, and then it changes

721
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: again and how you interact with others. And so that's

722
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: that's really what I feel like is the beauty of

723
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: this moment is that we're having We're looking in wed

724
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: we're talking to each other. And I know y'all love me.

725
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: So when you say something to me like, I know

726
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: what's coming from love. Like I tease you and stuff,

727
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: but I know that it's coming from love. I know

728
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,240
Speaker 1: that you be better, right, you just want the best?

729
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but period, you know what I mean. It

730
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: is what it is. But yeah, girl, it's rough out

731
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: here in these streets. But it feels hard. Let me

732
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: say this as you talk about work, right, all this

733
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: work the reason why it's hard, the reason why so

734
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 1: much work, because the work is equal to the amount

735
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: of crap. If it feels like a lot of work,

736
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 1: that will show you just how much oppressive and horrible

737
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: shit is out there. And if you are a certain age,

738
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: that's a lot of ship to get out. That's a lot.

739
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: It may not get it all out, but it's the willingness.

740
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: It's the willingness, the humility, the love, the openness, the empathy,

741
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 1: and these are all things I feel like we all

742
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: think and feel that we want to be. I don't

743
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: want to be kinder man who doesn't want to be

744
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: more empathetic. Yo. That show work for me in that way.

745
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say that, Yeah,

746
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: lizz oh show. I found myself crying in moments, crying

747
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: because I had certain thoughts and perceptions and I was like,

748
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: it was a nice little wake up call. It it's beautiful,

749
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: and I just for your perspective, I just gonna say

750
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 1: to the diversity of the contestants, the chocolate nous of

751
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,439
Speaker 1: it all, the chocolate nous with the short natural hair.

752
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. The translate the translated like

753
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: it was just like, I'm gonna take this moment to

754
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: pick up a plus size UM dance troop and company

755
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 1: called Pretty Big Movement and UM is headed by a

756
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 1: young lady named Akira Armstrong who has danced on stages

757
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: with Beyonce, with Lizzo. She has done a lot of

758
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 1: amazing work. I just want to pick her up in

759
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 1: this moment because I just want you to know like

760
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: I follow her and what she does, and I love dance.

761
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: Everybody knows I love dance. I love watching her choreography.

762
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: I love watching the women that she has in her

763
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 1: in her company. She also does classes in New York,

764
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: heels classes for that's for everyone. Anyone can come to class,

765
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 1: So they do classes. They have an actual performing company.

766
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 1: So I just want to shout them out today because

767
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 1: the word that they're doing is amazing and it came

768
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: from Akira's experience as a professional dancer, being having all

769
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: the capabilities but not getting the opportunities, and feeling and

770
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 1: hearing a lot of that energy out there in the world,

771
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: in the professional world. And I think for every Lizzo,

772
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: there's an Akira, there's a person who you really don't know,

773
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: who you're not seeing on TV every day, who who

774
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: is not pushing the envelope to the point where you

775
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: have to talk about them, you know what I'm saying.

776
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,919
Speaker 1: So there are there are women, particularly plus size black

777
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:15,439
Speaker 1: women who are out in the world doing um doing

778
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: all kinds of different jobs, all types of different things.

779
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: I also want to pick up um Britney Cooper, who

780
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 1: was victimized and talked about and vilified by a particular

781
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 1: blogger which we will not speak their name, but somebody

782
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 1: who was talking about her value as a woman and

783
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: her being plus size, and her being dark skinned, and

784
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: her being whatever else they could come up with. She

785
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: is a brilliant, a brilliant writer. She talks about black

786
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: feminism from a black woman's perspective. She's amazing. So I

787
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: want to pick her up because, like I said, a

788
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: lot of these things happen women who experienced the world

789
00:49:55,239 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: in these bodies, in our bodies, you know, and we

790
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: never get to talk to them. Well, Brittany who was

791
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: pretty famous, But bottom line is, again that's not necessarily

792
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 1: a household name in the same way that Lizzo is,

793
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 1: you know. And so these things and these things are

794
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: actually cost cultural too, you know, because I follow white

795
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 1: women who are having this exact same experience, having this

796
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 1: experience as it as it pertains to their size. I

797
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 1: told you I'll wait for the I G lives. I've

798
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 1: watched several I G lives from a really famous plus

799
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 1: size model named Tests Beautiful. She's got long, uh red

800
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 1: bright red hair, and she's really got a very pin up,

801
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 1: you know, fifty style pin up model aesthetic. And she's

802
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: a big girl Test Holiday that's her name, So Test Holidays.

803
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,879
Speaker 1: I want to big up Test Holiday too, because she's

804
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: a person who is has made her living in the

805
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: beauty business, in the modeling business. To ask she's she's

806
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: been on the runway, she's done the high fashion shows,

807
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: she's done this kind of stuff. And again, it's still

808
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: dealing with people whenever there's a story about her, they

809
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: show a picture of her eating ice cream cone while

810
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: she's out with her son. Mm hmm. It's to everyday

811
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: disrespect for me. Let's be clear, this is not myth

812
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: that in many tribes on the continent your wealth was

813
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 1: based on your woman's size. People knew you were wealthy

814
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: because you had a larger woman, and that was something

815
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 1: to be very proud of. There was a whole era

816
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: of baroque beauty where all the women were full figured

817
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 1: with with larger hips and wider thighs and thick uh titties.

818
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 1: You know, there's definitely an era. Unfortunately, when Sarah Bartman

819
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 1: was enslaved and her body became a part of I

820
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:13,720
Speaker 1: think the fabric of what this whole entire world deems

821
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: is beautiful. They saw this woman with these round, big

822
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 1: boobs in the small waist and big behind, and they

823
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: have created ah a fetish, a fetish with that particular

824
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: body type, a story that the saddest story, the saddest

825
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 1: story ever. But we left her up absolutely but her,

826
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: but her. Yeah, just just know that all of your

827
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 1: quote unquote fluffiness, um, and your your thickness, your your

828
00:52:52,920 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: meeting nous, all of that that is traditional beauty. That

829
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: is it. And whatever anybody else has to say about it,

830
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 1: it is um. That's from someone else's thinking. That's some

831
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 1: some old supremacy book business. And uh, I just want

832
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 1: you to know that. I just want I just want

833
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 1: you to know that rock your ship, just rock your shit.

834
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: It's yours. You are here, you are alive, you are vivacious.

835
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 1: Don't get it twisted. Don't get it twisted. Follow your role,

836
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: play play play play your part in this world, baby,

837
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 1: Play your part, your beautiful thing. You. We love you here.

838
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:50,919
Speaker 1: Know that it has been a pleasure to talk to

839
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: each other, to have conversation, to spark conversation. Thank you

840
00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 1: for listening. How do you eat an elephant one by

841
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: it time. Hey there, it's Amber, the producer. In this episode,

842
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 1: the Ladies really examined our cultural interpretations of body positivity.

843
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Speaker 1: Leah talked a lot about Lizzos show Watch Out for

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Speaker 1: the Big Girls. I have also watched the entire season. Um,

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00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 1: I laughed, I cried, I healed of it myself. You

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00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 1: can find the show on Amazon Prime. Give it a

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00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,720
Speaker 1: watch and let us know what you think. I'll drop

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Speaker 1: the link to the show and the episode show notes.

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Speaker 1: Hi if you have comments on something we said in

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Speaker 1: this episode called eight six six, Hey do if you

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Speaker 1: want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six

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00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 1: nine five four five I buy. Don't forget to tell

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Speaker 1: us your name and the episode you're referring to. You

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00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for listening to Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill.

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Speaker 1: The podcast JA dot Ill is a production of I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit

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00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you

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Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.