Speaker 1: You are a donkey.
Speaker 2: That is why Charlemagne is.
Speaker 1: Some donkey. Today's just saw himself the breakfast club. Okay, Charlamage,
Speaker 1: we've been giving a donkey of the day too.
Speaker 2: It's the day, well donkey today for Wednesday, August twelve.
Speaker 1: Cause the thirty three year old KeAndre Simmons.
Speaker 2: I believe he's an Arizona man and he's a prime
Speaker 2: example of why this generation is being labeled dumber than
Speaker 2: previous generations. Okay, see, KeAndre was an employee of Shakeshack
Speaker 2: and he woke up one day and he yawned, and
Speaker 2: he brushed his teeth, and he ReLit a half of
Speaker 2: pre roll from the night before. He probably ate a
Speaker 2: pop tart or a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, and
Speaker 2: said in himself, you know what I'm gonna do today.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call him sick so I can rob my
Speaker 2: place of employment. And after I robbed my place of employment,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna show up right back to the scene
Speaker 2: of the crime and clock in like nothing happened. Oh Chat,
Speaker 2: GPT can't make this kind of stuff up. Let's go
Speaker 2: to w c A X three for the report.
Speaker 3: Police Andre Simmons is accused of robbery an inside job.
Speaker 3: He faces charges of armed robbery, aggravated assault, and kidnapping.
Speaker 3: According to these court documents, Simmons called out of work
Speaker 3: at the Shake Shack at Kierln Commons around midnight on
Speaker 3: August third, but showed up later that morning wearing a
Speaker 3: disguise and a black face mask. An employee told police
Speaker 3: he heard the delivery bell at the back of the
Speaker 3: store and opened up, standing there was a masked man
Speaker 3: pointing a gun. Simmons allegedly forced the employee into the
Speaker 3: walk in cooler, locking it using a latch that only
Speaker 3: employees would know. Simmons then ordered the manager to hand
Speaker 3: over about twenty eight hundred bucks in cash, and after
Speaker 3: he got the money, Simmons reportedly locked the manager and
Speaker 3: the cooler too. Records say in those moments, the employees
Speaker 3: tried to make a run for it, but Simmons came back,
Speaker 3: threatening them with the gun for a second time, rushing
Speaker 3: those employees into the office, destroying their phones, and then
Speaker 3: taking off queerl insecurity and the employees led police to
Speaker 3: Simmons two days later.
Speaker 2: You know, Caandre, you can't commit an inside job when
Speaker 2: everybody knows you're the insider. Okay, I know the mindset
Speaker 2: he was in, He said, If I come back to work,
Speaker 2: nobody will suspect this me, because why would anybody who
Speaker 2: just robbed the place come back to the place they
Speaker 2: just robbed? KeAndre, your logic makes sense, But I need
Speaker 2: us to understand there are a lot of Caandras out here,
Speaker 2: and they are banking on us being just as stupid
Speaker 2: as them. Okay, KeAndre, you thought this through, but you
Speaker 2: didn't question your own thinking. Okay.
Speaker 1: Thinking about your own thinking is called meta cognition. Okay.
Speaker 1: Psychologists and neuroscientists.
Speaker 2: View it as a peak form of intelligence because it
Speaker 2: allows you to step back, watch your mind work, and
Speaker 2: catch your own biases and mistakes in real time. Caandre,
Speaker 2: you didn't catch none of your mistakes. Okay, you called
Speaker 2: in sick before your shift. All right, imagine the police investigation.
Speaker 2: Anybody missing from work today? Yeah, Keandra, who we all knew?
Speaker 1: We all know who it was, he called out. Okay,
Speaker 1: book them all right. I mean his coworkers recognized him.
Speaker 2: Through the disguise, the employee said, because of his build,
Speaker 2: his voice, his mannerisms, and his hairline. They literally said hairline.
Speaker 2: Now I saw, I saw his mug shot. Let me
Speaker 2: pull his mug shot up for you. Hold on, I
Speaker 2: should have had it out already. God damn, it is
Speaker 2: his mug shot. Send me his mugshot, Eddie. I can't
Speaker 2: find it now, but his mug shot. Oh no, that's
Speaker 2: not her.
Speaker 1: Up now.
Speaker 2: If you notice, look at his mug shot. Okay, his
Speaker 2: hairline isn't pushed back.
Speaker 1: Okay. In fact, he's got all his edges.
Speaker 2: And I think people who are blessed to still have
Speaker 2: all their edges tend to forget that that that that
Speaker 2: is uh, you know, it's more recognizable.
Speaker 1: Okay, when you have all your edges, then it is
Speaker 1: when it's receding. Okay.
Speaker 2: Because as a man, I see people with hairlines, and
Speaker 2: I think to myself, hold on to that for as
Speaker 2: long as you can, young man, because at some point,
Speaker 2: your hairlines starts dancing to Fat Joe's lean back, and
Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Also, why the hell didn't you have on a mask
Speaker 2: that covers your whole head? Okay, your face was undercover,
Speaker 2: but your hairline was cooperating with authorities. Not to mention
Speaker 2: he knew the layout of the restaurant employee said he
Speaker 2: knew too much. He knew employee only areas, he knew
Speaker 2: where equipment was kept, he knew how to walk in
Speaker 2: coolest outside latchwork. That's clearly somebody who completed Shakeshack orientation. Okay,
Speaker 2: then on top of all of that, you came back
Speaker 2: to work two days later. No metacognition went into this crime. Okay,
Speaker 2: he didn't think about his own thinking at all. He
Speaker 2: didn't do his jail map either. Okay, y'all know what
Speaker 2: jail map is when you try to add up if
Speaker 2: you can afford to do what it is you're about
Speaker 2: to do. Court documentary portedly say KeAndre was struggling and
Speaker 2: had children.
Speaker 1: Well, who's going to support those kids? Now?
Speaker 2: Okay, you committed an armed robbery for twenty eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: You don't have money for bond.
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't have money for an attorney, and now
Speaker 2: you're going to spend at least a decade in prison.
Speaker 2: Once again, who is going to support those children?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: Okay, you can't afford to do anything that you did, Keandra. Okay,
Speaker 2: desperation could make you irrational, but desperation doesn't make consequences disappear,
Speaker 2: all right. If you're struggling financially and have children depending
Speaker 2: on you, an armed robbery, accravated assault charge and kidnapping
Speaker 2: charges aren't going to improve your situation. In fact, it's
Speaker 2: going to make your financial situation worse because now you're
Speaker 2: being held on one hundred thousand dollars bond. Okay, KeAndre
Speaker 2: allegedly committed the worst kind of inside job, the kind
Speaker 2: where everybody inside knows exactly who you are. Please give
Speaker 2: KeAndre Simmons the biggesty hull.
Speaker 1: Think this through.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Donkey to Day.
Speaker 2: Donkey of Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney
Speaker 2: Michael the Bull Lamb is soft.
Speaker 1: Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on
Speaker 1: your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to
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Speaker 1: when you mess with the bull, you get the horns