Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and The Black Effect.
Speaker 2: And just like that, we're back on the air.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode which your
Speaker 1: girl jeffs hilarious. I am here fix the mess. That's
Speaker 1: what I do, That's what I always be doing. And
Speaker 1: I promise y'all, I'm gonna have an intro. Trust me,
Speaker 1: Trust me, y'all. Y'all might have put it on. It
Speaker 1: might be on here already.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: They ain't updateing me yet. But I've been fighting for
Speaker 1: this intro, y'all. We've been just a fighting, and they
Speaker 1: said that they was gonna have us one.
Speaker 2: So I think we won.
Speaker 1: So until we hear, until we hear the jest fix
Speaker 1: my Mess. So until we hear the just fix my
Speaker 1: Mess intro, we gotta keep spam in the comments and shit.
Speaker 1: I told y'all, spam Charlamagne comments, spam the Black Effect comments,
Speaker 1: Spam I Heart even Breakfast Club. I don't give a
Speaker 1: damn envy. Everybody's including I don't care. Everybody's included. All right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna jump right into it. I got a voice,
Speaker 1: No y'all know, I get excited for voice notes because
Speaker 1: I hate we y'all write them long run on sentence
Speaker 1: paragraphs and shit. Y'all be sending me whole PDF files
Speaker 1: and essays and shit, and it don't be not one
Speaker 1: punctuation mark in a goddamn run on sentence.
Speaker 2: Shit.
Speaker 1: I'll be fighting. I'll be fighting, y'all, but jumping right in.
Speaker 3: Hey, jes So, first off, I just want to start
Speaker 3: with thanking you for even replying back to me and
Speaker 3: letting me know how to submit my voice memo or
Speaker 3: voice question or whatever you call it. Absolutely, I really
Speaker 3: appreciate that because I do have a mess that I
Speaker 3: need you to fix. And then I also now that
Speaker 3: I see that you do respond directly back.
Speaker 4: Once again, much appreciated.
Speaker 3: I will have a second issue that I would like
Speaker 3: your guidance on, but it's not necessarily a mess.
Speaker 2: Well, bring it on, girl.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to.
Speaker 3: Get into the arena that you're in as far as
Speaker 3: fixing people issues and just talking to people and hearing people.
Speaker 3: Weut because I'm working on my psychology degree, so this is.
Speaker 4: Something that only helped me.
Speaker 3: Nice. Nice, just get ready for these next eight or
Speaker 3: nine little voice notes, because this one is about the end,
Speaker 3: and I will tell you my mess on the next one.
Speaker 4: Oh she's so cute.
Speaker 2: Listen.
Speaker 1: Real quick backstory, y'all. She had hit me up and
Speaker 1: asked me before how can I send it? Because it
Speaker 1: keeps stopping at a minute, And I know that I
Speaker 1: heard somebody sending one longer than a minute before. But
Speaker 1: since it ain't gonna work on here, nah girl, people
Speaker 1: just be sending eight, nine, ten to eleven them. I
Speaker 1: dodnet check twenty of them before somebody, and that was
Speaker 1: one story. Somebody sent me twenty voice notes in a
Speaker 1: DM because they only go up to a minute.
Speaker 2: So here we go.
Speaker 3: So to get into what my actual issue or mess
Speaker 3: is about, let me give you a little background. So
Speaker 3: my husband and I we have been together for going
Speaker 3: on eleven years, but have been married for two. We
Speaker 3: actually just celebrated our second anniversary not long ago. And
Speaker 3: my issue is since the beginning of time, I feel
Speaker 3: like he's had an issue or I don't know, it's
Speaker 3: like a jealous type of spirit that comes about with
Speaker 3: him whenever I mentioned things that I have planned or
Speaker 3: that I want to do with other people outside of him.
Speaker 3: Now he's not necessarily controlling he doesn't tell me where
Speaker 3: I can go and what I can do or none
Speaker 3: of that because I'm too strong. I'm a feminist, so
Speaker 3: that wouldn't work with me. No way. Very good. He's
Speaker 3: a real good man, you know what I'm saying. Good provider,
Speaker 3: good dad. You know, he loves me to death, cherishes me,
Speaker 3: you know, and shows me that, not only tells me that,
Speaker 3: but shows me that in his action. So for the
Speaker 3: most part, you know, relationship is cool, not no issues there.
Speaker 1: Now she from either Memphis or Saint Louis tom on,
Speaker 1: no issues there because money bag Yo said like that
Speaker 1: and Nellie said like that. But they from two different places,
Speaker 1: So which one are you from? Boo, I'm sorry, let
Speaker 1: me go ahead and finish your story.
Speaker 3: Well for that and his action, So for the most part,
Speaker 3: you know, relationship is cool, not no issues. So we
Speaker 3: of course have mutual friends. Mutual you know, other married
Speaker 3: couples or couples that have been together for a while
Speaker 3: that we you know, kick it with, go out with,
Speaker 3: do house parties with the space party, you know, things
Speaker 3: like that dinner, you know, be there for each other's kids, events,
Speaker 3: less stuff like that.
Speaker 4: All cool, all cool, and most of those are.
Speaker 3: Actually his friends from childhood that I've just happened to
Speaker 3: gotten really close with their women, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: because we all dealing with guys who've been dealing with
Speaker 3: each other, so we can kind of relate, yeah, in
Speaker 3: that aspect and kind of you know, Kiki and haha
Speaker 3: about how goofy.
Speaker 5: They are absolutely real nice lotok group, real nice look group,
Speaker 5: nothing wrong with it at all.
Speaker 3: We both also have, of course, our own separate friend groups.
Speaker 4: Because we're approaching.
Speaker 3: Forty, you know what I'm saying, So we've had lives
Speaker 3: before each so of course we have our own separate
Speaker 3: friend groups. And there was a time in the first
Speaker 3: like maybe three to four years of our relationship, and
Speaker 3: this is even after we had our child.
Speaker 4: Oh, let me mention that we have two kids.
Speaker 5: Actually, my oldest show way, how the hell you forget
Speaker 5: that he's been.
Speaker 3: There since he was two he's now twelve, and then
Speaker 3: our child that we have together is eight. So going
Speaker 3: back into it, about the first three to four years
Speaker 3: of the relationship, this guy had a standing date every
Speaker 3: Friday with his homies.
Speaker 4: And I don't even want to say what.
Speaker 3: Third nights were called, because just in case anybody's listening.
Speaker 1: That they probably are, they would know exactly who I am.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about because I've been told my voice is
Speaker 3: pretty unique absolute. But anyway, that that was something they
Speaker 3: had every single Friday.
Speaker 4: I'm not a clingy person.
Speaker 3: I actually prefer, you know, my autonomy and being to
Speaker 3: myself of the time. I consider myself a friendly introvert,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. I can be with people
Speaker 3: and be social and all of that, but I'm a
Speaker 3: homebody for the most part. So him being out every
Speaker 3: Friday didn't bother me, not one bit.
Speaker 4: I'm not one of those.
Speaker 3: Girlfriends that's gonna call your phone and text you and
Speaker 3: see where you at when he's out.
Speaker 4: He's out. When he come home usually come home drunk,
Speaker 4: and then.
Speaker 3: We do what we do and have a good night
Speaker 3: after eat them been out with the guys.
Speaker 4: So it was never an issue, is what I'm trying
Speaker 4: to say.
Speaker 3: Never in goag and mind you, this was every single
Speaker 3: Friday for years now. Me and my girls. You know,
Speaker 3: we're all moms, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: We all have.
Speaker 3: Kids, so that's where the majority of our time is
Speaker 3: spent is with our family and with our kids. But
Speaker 3: we do try at least once a month to get
Speaker 3: out and do something with just the ladies, you know,
Speaker 3: leave the men and kids at home, have some have.
Speaker 4: A mommy day. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: You need that friend little brunch. And it's usually in
Speaker 5: the daytime, you know what I'm saying, Yeah, moms need that.
Speaker 5: You know, we're kind of all past the club and stage.
Speaker 5: I did that in my twenties and early thirties.
Speaker 4: I'm over that.
Speaker 3: And I also had a fake idea like the age
Speaker 3: of sixteen, So I'm over the club. So basically just
Speaker 3: letting you know the activities that we do our mommy
Speaker 3: approved Yeah, I'm saying, usually in the daytime, the most
Speaker 3: is gonna happen.
Speaker 4: It's bottomless mimosas you know.
Speaker 2: I know that out the way.
Speaker 3: And so he and I came up with an agreement
Speaker 3: just to kind of, you know, let the other person
Speaker 3: know when we have things planned, just in case we
Speaker 3: were trying to plan something with one another. So, like
Speaker 3: I said, me and my girls, we plan our things.
Speaker 3: It's usually like once a month. It's planned out weeks
Speaker 3: in advance. I let him know weeks in advance. You
Speaker 3: know what the plans are he still moves kind of
Speaker 3: last minute, you know what I'm saying. I don't know
Speaker 3: if it's just the guy thing, but whenever the guys
Speaker 3: have something that pop up, he just like.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, such and such as doing this and do
Speaker 4: I'm ready run over here and cool. I'll let you
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Once again, I'm not a cleaner.
Speaker 3: I don't mind, but it seems like, and let me
Speaker 3: say this, it's not even so much as me being
Speaker 3: out with my other friends outside of him. It seems
Speaker 3: like for some reason he takes that time that I'm
Speaker 3: away from him as me like not wanting to be
Speaker 3: I don't even know how to explain it.
Speaker 4: It really is like he's jealous. Like he will.
Speaker 3: Start an argument over something patty like literally, I've had
Speaker 3: my hand on the doorknob, ready to walk out the door,
Speaker 3: and he'll start wanting to argue about something like literally
Speaker 3: to where, And it's embarrassing because my girls, he's loud.
Speaker 3: And then even more so than that, like if I
Speaker 3: am planning something with somebody else that's like.
Speaker 2: You might be from Houston.
Speaker 1: I feel like I hear a little bit of heuston areas
Speaker 1: because you kind of sound like Erica Banks.
Speaker 2: God damn all right, sorry, go ahead, Like when one.
Speaker 4: Of our birthdays come up or something like.
Speaker 3: That, he seems to take issue with it, and then
Speaker 3: we'll come power what I've done for him to what
Speaker 3: I'm doing with or for my friends and phrase it
Speaker 3: in a way that he feels like I'm giving them
Speaker 3: more attention, are doing more for them, which is never
Speaker 3: the case. And let me say, just he and I
Speaker 3: go out often. Sometimes he plans to date, sometimes I
Speaker 3: plan the date. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay. So
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. Outside of doing stuff with
Speaker 3: our mutual friend groups, with our separate friend groups, we
Speaker 3: have date nights for just he and I quite often,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, whenever we can get rid
Speaker 3: of the kids were doing us and so like, just
Speaker 3: to give you a better example, there was one year
Speaker 3: when one of my good friends wanted to go take
Speaker 3: a little trip. And I'm gonna say out of state
Speaker 3: just because it was literally another state, but it's a
Speaker 3: state that borders our state. Just to go, you know,
Speaker 3: that's what females do. I wasn't driving, I ain't use
Speaker 3: my car, my gas, I ain't pay for nobody's food
Speaker 3: but my own. I was just a passenger in the
Speaker 3: car on this birthday dinner. This man really made an
Speaker 3: issue about that. How i'mbout well, you ain't never took
Speaker 3: me to such and such for my birthday.
Speaker 4: I said, you know, I didn't take up.
Speaker 2: All wrong with right for anything.
Speaker 3: So, and it's just that's just one example, and that
Speaker 3: has been a repetitive thing. Whenever I'm celebrating, That's what
Speaker 3: it is. Whenever I'm celebrating somebody else. He will then
Speaker 3: compare that to what I've done for him, and all
Speaker 3: of a sudden, what I've done for him is not enough,
Speaker 3: mind you.
Speaker 4: I go big for his birthday.
Speaker 3: We don't went to comedy shows, concerts out I'm through
Speaker 3: surprise parties. We don't have expensive dinners, you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying. And his birthday is around a holiday, so
Speaker 3: it's always something major going on that we attend together
Speaker 3: or I plan something for us in the family. So
Speaker 3: he's never left out, he's never forgotten about or put
Speaker 3: on the back burner or.
Speaker 4: Anything of that sort.
Speaker 3: So and once again, he's always very much happy with
Speaker 3: what it is that I do for him, until.
Speaker 2: It's time for me, something else.
Speaker 3: For somebody else, And he is then starting to compare
Speaker 3: what I've done for him to what I'm doing for
Speaker 3: them and feels a certain type of way about it,
Speaker 3: And I don't understand that, Like, I don't know if
Speaker 3: he has some type of attachment issue that he hasn't
Speaker 3: delved into, or was there something going on on those
Speaker 3: every Friday days that he was doing that he wasn't
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing. So now he thinks that I'm
Speaker 3: out doing stuff when I'm at like, I literally do
Speaker 3: not know. And I can't even get him to recognize
Speaker 3: the pattern when I bring it up whenever this happens
Speaker 3: that I'm like, babe, this is a pattern. Remember you
Speaker 3: did this last time. I can't even get him admit
Speaker 3: to that being what he's doing, so we can get
Speaker 3: past it. So I hope that's enough context to kind
Speaker 3: of let you.
Speaker 4: Know where I'm at.
Speaker 3: I mean, we cool and get along any other time
Speaker 3: outside of this, outside of me wanting to do something
Speaker 3: outside of him.
Speaker 4: So like, how would you handle that?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Because I'm not the type
Speaker 3: of woman you can tell me where you can't go
Speaker 3: here and you can't go there, I'm grown as hell,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. He didn't meet till we
Speaker 3: was almost thirty. Like, I had a full life before you,
Speaker 3: and I'm still gonna live even while I'm with you.
Speaker 4: So like, how would you handle that? You know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I've suggested therapy, He said, oh, you always trying to
Speaker 3: stay colagize me. That's what he goes to because of
Speaker 3: course that's my field. So that is how I think
Speaker 3: about most things. And I feel like everybody needs some therapy.
Speaker 3: Everybody has some trauma that they trying to get.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Also, I know in his past relationship before me, that
Speaker 3: was a issue. His ex was out doing lord knows
Speaker 3: whatever with whoever, and so maybe he's just a little
Speaker 3: jaded from that.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: But in my case, I've not In my case, I've
Speaker 3: not done anything to warrant him come in to me
Speaker 3: the way he does whenever I want to do something
Speaker 3: outside of him. I've never cheated, There's never been any infidelity,
Speaker 3: not even an inkling of it.
Speaker 4: That's never anything he's ever had to worry about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I just really don't understand why he tries
Speaker 3: to hold me in. So you know what I'm saying, like,
Speaker 3: what's your problem with my friends?
Speaker 4: Bruh?
Speaker 3: Like why can't I go hang out with my friends?
Speaker 3: So that's basically it. I know I'm probably over my
Speaker 3: eight minutes, but I just wanted to give you as
Speaker 3: much background as possible, to give you an idea of
Speaker 3: where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling, and see
Speaker 3: what your thoughts are on this. How would you approach
Speaker 3: this type of situation? Like how can I get him
Speaker 3: to realize he need to just chill out?
Speaker 4: Like what would you do?
Speaker 3: Because I trust your judgment, you give really good advice.
Speaker 3: So yeah, curious to hear how you would handle us, Jess.
Speaker 3: I look forward to hearing. Thank you well.
Speaker 1: First and foremost, thank you for being open with me, Love.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you for even letting me in on your
Speaker 1: business so I can try to fix your mess. First
Speaker 1: of all, not first of all, I don't want to
Speaker 1: say first of all because first of all, it's not
Speaker 1: like I'm about to get smart.
Speaker 2: First thing, is he a middle child?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Is he middle child?
Speaker 1: It just I mean, you gave me a lot of context,
Speaker 1: yes you did, but I want to know like his
Speaker 1: childhood to be honest with you, because yeah, past relationships,
Speaker 1: they yeah, of course they can have an effect on
Speaker 1: you know, effect on you for the rest of your
Speaker 1: life after them, depending on how you know.
Speaker 2: Detrimental it was to you, to your mental.
Speaker 1: Or you know, how severe it was, or even how
Speaker 1: great it was, and you'll never knowing that you'll never
Speaker 1: get that back again. So each relationship definitely takes a
Speaker 1: toll on whether it be for good or bad, on people,
Speaker 1: especially if they've been with a person long. All right,
Speaker 1: so you're two years Mary, I feel like I've heard
Speaker 1: a story like this before, and we see it every day,
Speaker 1: you know, spouse being kind of sort of jealous of
Speaker 1: their husband or wife social life. You know, he he
Speaker 1: may not he may not know how to express to
Speaker 1: you that he has attachment issues or abandonment, even may
Speaker 1: feel abandoned.
Speaker 2: That's why I asked, see a middle child.
Speaker 1: You know, most of the time middle children they are
Speaker 1: I don't want to say it, like kind of forgotten about,
Speaker 1: but they're kind of you know, they're the middle because
Speaker 1: the firstborn's automatic top priority, you know, until the second
Speaker 1: one comes, and then that's the baby until the third
Speaker 1: one comes, and then the third one gets you know,
Speaker 1: the third one gets all the by that time, gets
Speaker 1: the least amount of discipline. They're they're you're more lenient
Speaker 1: with the goddamn babies. And then the the oldest is
Speaker 1: off doing whatever the fuck they're doing, still passing down whatever,
Speaker 1: paying like slight attention to the middle child and even
Speaker 1: less attention to the baby.
Speaker 2: But the middle child.
Speaker 1: Is always the one that have like the complicated Well
Speaker 1: that's what it's known to be. Traditionally, middle children are
Speaker 1: the most complicated ones. They have the most complicated lives.
Speaker 1: They're forgotten about or they're put on the back burner
Speaker 1: for this, that and the other, blah blah blah blah whatever.
Speaker 1: That's why I ask to see a middle child. That
Speaker 1: definitely a lot of y'all maybe listening to this like that,
Speaker 1: what that don't make sense? No, that that will have
Speaker 1: an effect for shit. Sure, Now, his past relationship, like
Speaker 1: you said, his ex was out here doing anything with
Speaker 1: anybody and just doing everything out there. You know, he
Speaker 1: definitely could have been damaged in that relationship and just
Speaker 1: carried the baggage over to you.
Speaker 2: But listen, this is the thing. You're married.
Speaker 1: You've been married with him for two years y'all been
Speaker 1: married for two years, I think you said, but y'all
Speaker 1: been together far longer. Y'all have a child together, y'all
Speaker 1: have a eight year old baby, well, an eight year
Speaker 1: old child. I still thinking a baby, because you know
Speaker 1: he's a kid. So I'm gonna say, you'll have a
Speaker 1: eight year old baby together. Is this out of nowhere?
Speaker 1: I mean, like just suddenly out of nowhere? You know,
Speaker 1: because you've been with him for a long time. So
Speaker 1: everything that he experienced in his last relationship shouldn't still
Speaker 1: be affecting him eight years later with you. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just go ahead and say ten years. I mean, y'all
Speaker 1: coming up on a decade of being together, just married
Speaker 1: for two I'm gonna go ahead and say, I don't
Speaker 1: think that his last relationship should still be affecting him.
Speaker 1: Did anything happen with y'all? Like, did you ever not cheating?
Speaker 2: Not cheating?
Speaker 1: Because I heard you say loud and Claire, I've never cheated.
Speaker 1: I've never wanted to cheat. I'm not a cheater.
Speaker 2: I don't do that.
Speaker 1: He has, he's never cheated on you and and all that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but did something happen? Cheating is not the only thing
Speaker 1: that can result in something like this and behavior like this.
Speaker 1: Have you did you ever have a friend who you
Speaker 1: told him about was cheating on her husband or And
Speaker 1: I know that y'all have close friend groups, like your
Speaker 1: girlfriends are basically married to his, his homeboys and shit
Speaker 1: like that, So y'all are a conjoined group, like y'all
Speaker 1: know each other, You're all comfortable with each other.
Speaker 2: Y'all group, his boys grew up with him. You know
Speaker 2: your girls.
Speaker 1: They all been around these people for a long time,
Speaker 1: these guys for a long time. So I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to figure out, was there ever a friend who wasn't
Speaker 1: in a good relationship that confided in you and you
Speaker 1: went home and confided in your husband, which happens all
Speaker 1: the time. That I mean, it has to be a
Speaker 1: reason that he gets so jealous of your social life
Speaker 1: outside of him. You know, Is he stressed out at
Speaker 1: work because it's something bothering him at with work? You know,
Speaker 1: I listen, and I know you said that he thrives
Speaker 1: around his homeboys, like you know, he's a little he's
Speaker 1: a bit last minute. Maybe he's last minute because he's
Speaker 1: left out a lot.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: I'm not justifying the jealousy and how the I mean
Speaker 1: the arguments that he picks. I am definitely trying to
Speaker 1: give him benefit of the doubt and justifying why he's jealous,
Speaker 1: because that doesn't just happen. And then you're his wife,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. No, y' all been together
Speaker 1: way too long for this to be a thing. You know,
Speaker 1: if it was a thing at the beginning, then that's
Speaker 1: a red flag that you ignored. And then also, I
Speaker 1: know that you're already in the major of psychology, and yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you tell him he needs to go get therapy,
Speaker 1: and he in return tells you, don't try to psychologize me.
Speaker 1: I will have you know. That is not a word.
Speaker 1: I don't think it is. But he needs to be
Speaker 1: comfortable with the fact that his wife is a psychologist
Speaker 1: in the making, that you are studying to be a psychologist,
Speaker 1: and that you could help him.
Speaker 2: And it has to start at home.
Speaker 1: If you can help heal your husband, or you know,
Speaker 1: help work together on that and use your major to
Speaker 1: do so what you learned in school. Because you seem
Speaker 1: like you're well devoted and committed to doing this. I
Speaker 1: think that your husband could be your first project. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's home, it's very personal. And then it also gives
Speaker 1: you an experience not to tell your clients when you
Speaker 1: have a boatload of them, because baby, I'm praying that
Speaker 1: you have like a client list as long as the Blacklist,
Speaker 1: and I'm talking about the show, honey. It's a lot
Speaker 1: of motherfuckers on that black List, honey. Because I'm for this,
Speaker 1: I'm for this. I really am happy for you going
Speaker 1: in this major. A lot of us need help, a
Speaker 1: lot of people, everybody need a little therapy. I heard
Speaker 1: you also say that, and I do agree with you.
Speaker 1: And a lot of men, which my brother always says,
Speaker 1: Charlemagneagotti always says, black men are always afraid or turning
Speaker 1: down therapy because they don't like to open up and expose,
Speaker 1: you know, they don't like to expose their traumas. You know,
Speaker 1: a lot of people bury stuff under the rug. Had
Speaker 1: to be something, it's something that he feels that way.
Speaker 1: I think you need to sit down and talk to him,
Speaker 1: talk him through, like, talk to him. You said he's
Speaker 1: not controlling. You did say that, but you just said
Speaker 1: age he'll try to pick arguments and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Y'all do things together.
Speaker 1: Everything that you do for him is great until you
Speaker 1: do something for somebody else. There's an issue there. There's
Speaker 1: an issue there. You got to get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of it. You have to get to the bottom of it.
Speaker 1: I think that you have to sit down with him
Speaker 1: and you have to lay it all out.
Speaker 2: Baby.
Speaker 1: It's just me and you. It's just me and you
Speaker 1: right now. I'm not playing psychologists. I'm playing a wife
Speaker 1: who is trying to figure out what's going on with
Speaker 1: her husband. Because this is I think you should let
Speaker 1: him know the detriment that it's causing you the like
Speaker 1: I think you need to let him know.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it again. Put the people in the back,
Speaker 2: let him know.
Speaker 1: Communicate with your husband, telling him how you feel. You
Speaker 1: don't want to leave him, You're happy with him, but
Speaker 1: this does not make you happy. Everything outside of this
Speaker 1: makes you happy. Why can't we get on the same
Speaker 1: page with this? Why do I feel like there is
Speaker 1: some type of jealousy streak with my social life as
Speaker 1: it pertains to my marriage. I don't you know. I
Speaker 1: don't like how you make me feel when I'm about
Speaker 1: to go out. You make me feel bad for going out.
Speaker 1: That's that's not that that's that's that shouldn't be that way,
Speaker 1: that's inappropriate.
Speaker 2: I don't do anything, you know, I think you need to.
Speaker 1: I think you need to get inside of his head,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, really, really beat it
Speaker 1: in there. Talk talk to him, Talk to him, talk
Speaker 1: to him, you know, that's the first thing. Communication and
Speaker 1: then be honest. He needs to lay it all out
Speaker 1: on the table. But you need to figure out what's
Speaker 1: going on in your marriage, honey, because it is all
Speaker 1: hope is not lost. I mean, that's the only problem
Speaker 1: you all are having. And I know it bothers. You
Speaker 1: fucking fix that shit, you know. And I know you're
Speaker 1: I know you come to me for the how, but
Speaker 1: you know you have to talk to him, talk to him,
Speaker 1: get it out of him. He don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about it. And he don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: It ain't nothing. A lot of people will deny that
Speaker 1: they have a problem until you put it in their face.
Speaker 1: Put it in their face. You argue with me every
Speaker 1: time I'm about to park this door to go somewhere.
Speaker 1: I don't do that to you. I'm not a clanky person.
Speaker 1: Maybe he is, a clinky person. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Obviously he is a clinky person. So now you have
Speaker 1: to deal with the balance. What that looks like? What
Speaker 1: that balance looks like. I'm clanky but my husband is not.
Speaker 1: Or I'm not clanky, but my husband is. How does
Speaker 1: that work? How can y'all work that out?
Speaker 2: You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So you gave him a lot of praise, and I
Speaker 1: do love that. Although y'all are having issues just with that,
Speaker 1: you gave him a lot of praise. So I know
Speaker 1: you love him. I know you're not gonna leave, and
Speaker 1: you shouldn't. You know, you fight for this. This is
Speaker 1: definitely worth fighting for, like real shit, and with all
Speaker 1: the meat on the bone you told me, I don't
Speaker 1: think you left anything. I don't think there's anything that
Speaker 1: you're not telling me other than maybe something that may
Speaker 1: have happened that that could lead to this behavior that
Speaker 1: he's portraying.
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I like I said, well, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna say I don't know. I do know. I
Speaker 2: know that you need to talk to him.
Speaker 1: Y'all need to look into therapy individually and then do
Speaker 1: marriage counseling together together. You know, step outside of your
Speaker 1: psychology bag. You know what I'm saying. Maybe he don't
Speaker 1: want to be looked at as a client. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Maybe y'all should go to somebody together
Speaker 1: that could also help you and your major. You know,
Speaker 1: just just seek counsel yourself because it can help you.
Speaker 1: Nothing helps you out like experience. Nothing is better than
Speaker 1: experience because that creates wisdom. You know nothing. So you
Speaker 1: took up the whole episode, girl, I love it. Though
Speaker 1: I love it. This is very juicy, and this is
Speaker 1: very relatable. And then also you could help a lot
Speaker 1: of women with just speaking your truth and how that
Speaker 1: pertains to your marriage and how it also pertains to
Speaker 1: other women who could be going through the same thing.
Speaker 1: So I love you, baby, girl. Make sure you get
Speaker 1: back to me. Update me. I'm going to be checking.
Speaker 1: I love to check on everybody who's mess. Who's mess
Speaker 1: I try to fix, whether I can fix it or not. Now,
Speaker 1: like Charlemagne say, I am no expert, but I am
Speaker 1: an experienced person. And anything I cannot help you with,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna sit here and bullshit you baby. If
Speaker 1: I can't help you, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna
Speaker 1: read your story, but I do believe that this is
Speaker 1: just a simple, a simple matter of just communication, being
Speaker 1: honest and going to seek counsel together as a union,
Speaker 1: because y'all are one as a union, you know. And
Speaker 1: just like that, we come to the end of yet
Speaker 1: another carefully reckless episode with your Girl justs Hilarious, who
Speaker 1: will be fixing mess day in and day out, each
Speaker 1: and every Wednesday on the Black Effect Network. Shut out
Speaker 1: to I heart y'all and in my deepest Pam voice, peace,
Speaker 1: Talk to y'all next week.