1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. 3 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: And just like that, we're back on the air. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode which your 5 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: girl jeffs hilarious. I am here fix the mess. That's 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: what I do, That's what I always be doing. And 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: I promise y'all, I'm gonna have an intro. Trust me, 8 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: Trust me, y'all. Y'all might have put it on. It 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: might be on here already. 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 2: I don't know. 11 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: They ain't updateing me yet. But I've been fighting for 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 1: this intro, y'all. We've been just a fighting, and they 13 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: said that they was gonna have us one. 14 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: So I think we won. 15 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: So until we hear, until we hear the jest fix 16 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: my Mess. So until we hear the just fix my 17 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: Mess intro, we gotta keep spam in the comments and shit. 18 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: I told y'all, spam Charlamagne comments, spam the Black Effect comments, 19 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: Spam I Heart even Breakfast Club. I don't give a 20 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: damn envy. Everybody's including I don't care. Everybody's included. All right, 21 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: We're gonna jump right into it. I got a voice, 22 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: No y'all know, I get excited for voice notes because 23 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: I hate we y'all write them long run on sentence 24 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: paragraphs and shit. Y'all be sending me whole PDF files 25 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: and essays and shit, and it don't be not one 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: punctuation mark in a goddamn run on sentence. 27 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 2: Shit. 28 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: I'll be fighting. I'll be fighting, y'all, but jumping right in. 29 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 3: Hey, jes So, first off, I just want to start 30 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 3: with thanking you for even replying back to me and 31 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 3: letting me know how to submit my voice memo or 32 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: voice question or whatever you call it. Absolutely, I really 33 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 3: appreciate that because I do have a mess that I 34 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 3: need you to fix. And then I also now that 35 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 3: I see that you do respond directly back. 36 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 4: Once again, much appreciated. 37 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 3: I will have a second issue that I would like 38 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 3: your guidance on, but it's not necessarily a mess. 39 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 2: Well, bring it on, girl. 40 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 4: I'm trying to. 41 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 3: Get into the arena that you're in as far as 42 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 3: fixing people issues and just talking to people and hearing people. 43 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 3: Weut because I'm working on my psychology degree, so this is. 44 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 4: Something that only helped me. 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 3: Nice. Nice, just get ready for these next eight or 46 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 3: nine little voice notes, because this one is about the end, 47 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 3: and I will tell you my mess on the next one. 48 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 4: Oh she's so cute. 49 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 2: Listen. 50 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: Real quick backstory, y'all. She had hit me up and 51 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,239 Speaker 1: asked me before how can I send it? Because it 52 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: keeps stopping at a minute, And I know that I 53 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: heard somebody sending one longer than a minute before. But 54 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: since it ain't gonna work on here, nah girl, people 55 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: just be sending eight, nine, ten to eleven them. I 56 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: dodnet check twenty of them before somebody, and that was 57 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,079 Speaker 1: one story. Somebody sent me twenty voice notes in a 58 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: DM because they only go up to a minute. 59 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 2: So here we go. 60 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 3: So to get into what my actual issue or mess 61 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 3: is about, let me give you a little background. So 62 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 3: my husband and I we have been together for going 63 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 3: on eleven years, but have been married for two. We 64 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 3: actually just celebrated our second anniversary not long ago. And 65 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: my issue is since the beginning of time, I feel 66 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,119 Speaker 3: like he's had an issue or I don't know, it's 67 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 3: like a jealous type of spirit that comes about with 68 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 3: him whenever I mentioned things that I have planned or 69 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 3: that I want to do with other people outside of him. 70 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 3: Now he's not necessarily controlling he doesn't tell me where 71 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 3: I can go and what I can do or none 72 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 3: of that because I'm too strong. I'm a feminist, so 73 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 3: that wouldn't work with me. No way. Very good. He's 74 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 3: a real good man, you know what I'm saying. Good provider, 75 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 3: good dad. You know, he loves me to death, cherishes me, 76 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 3: you know, and shows me that, not only tells me that, 77 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 3: but shows me that in his action. So for the 78 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 3: most part, you know, relationship is cool, not no issues there. 79 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: Now she from either Memphis or Saint Louis tom on, 80 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: no issues there because money bag Yo said like that 81 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: and Nellie said like that. But they from two different places, 82 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: So which one are you from? Boo, I'm sorry, let 83 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: me go ahead and finish your story. 84 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 3: Well for that and his action, So for the most part, 85 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 3: you know, relationship is cool, not no issues. So we 86 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 3: of course have mutual friends. Mutual you know, other married 87 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 3: couples or couples that have been together for a while 88 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 3: that we you know, kick it with, go out with, 89 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 3: do house parties with the space party, you know, things 90 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 3: like that dinner, you know, be there for each other's kids, events, 91 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 3: less stuff like that. 92 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 4: All cool, all cool, and most of those are. 93 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 3: Actually his friends from childhood that I've just happened to 94 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 3: gotten really close with their women, you know what I'm saying, 95 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 3: because we all dealing with guys who've been dealing with 96 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 3: each other, so we can kind of relate, yeah, in 97 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 3: that aspect and kind of you know, Kiki and haha 98 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 3: about how goofy. 99 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 5: They are absolutely real nice lotok group, real nice look group, 100 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 5: nothing wrong with it at all. 101 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 3: We both also have, of course, our own separate friend groups. 102 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 4: Because we're approaching. 103 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 3: Forty, you know what I'm saying, So we've had lives 104 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 3: before each so of course we have our own separate 105 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 3: friend groups. And there was a time in the first 106 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 3: like maybe three to four years of our relationship, and 107 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 3: this is even after we had our child. 108 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 4: Oh, let me mention that we have two kids. 109 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 5: Actually, my oldest show way, how the hell you forget 110 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 5: that he's been. 111 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 3: There since he was two he's now twelve, and then 112 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 3: our child that we have together is eight. So going 113 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 3: back into it, about the first three to four years 114 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 3: of the relationship, this guy had a standing date every 115 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 3: Friday with his homies. 116 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 4: And I don't even want to say what. 117 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 3: Third nights were called, because just in case anybody's listening. 118 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: That they probably are, they would know exactly who I am. 119 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 3: I'm talking about because I've been told my voice is 120 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 3: pretty unique absolute. But anyway, that that was something they 121 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 3: had every single Friday. 122 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 4: I'm not a clingy person. 123 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: I actually prefer, you know, my autonomy and being to 124 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 3: myself of the time. I consider myself a friendly introvert, 125 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. I can be with people 126 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 3: and be social and all of that, but I'm a 127 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 3: homebody for the most part. So him being out every 128 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 3: Friday didn't bother me, not one bit. 129 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 4: I'm not one of those. 130 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: Girlfriends that's gonna call your phone and text you and 131 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 3: see where you at when he's out. 132 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 4: He's out. When he come home usually come home drunk, 133 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 4: and then. 134 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 3: We do what we do and have a good night 135 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 3: after eat them been out with the guys. 136 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 4: So it was never an issue, is what I'm trying 137 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 4: to say. 138 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 3: Never in goag and mind you, this was every single 139 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 3: Friday for years now. Me and my girls. You know, 140 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 3: we're all moms, you know what I'm saying. 141 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 4: We all have. 142 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 3: Kids, so that's where the majority of our time is 143 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 3: spent is with our family and with our kids. But 144 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 3: we do try at least once a month to get 145 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 3: out and do something with just the ladies, you know, 146 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 3: leave the men and kids at home, have some have. 147 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 4: A mommy day. You know what I'm saying. 148 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 5: You need that friend little brunch. And it's usually in 149 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 5: the daytime, you know what I'm saying, Yeah, moms need that. 150 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 5: You know, we're kind of all past the club and stage. 151 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 5: I did that in my twenties and early thirties. 152 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 4: I'm over that. 153 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 3: And I also had a fake idea like the age 154 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 3: of sixteen, So I'm over the club. So basically just 155 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 3: letting you know the activities that we do our mommy 156 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 3: approved Yeah, I'm saying, usually in the daytime, the most 157 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 3: is gonna happen. 158 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 4: It's bottomless mimosas you know. 159 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 2: I know that out the way. 160 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 3: And so he and I came up with an agreement 161 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 3: just to kind of, you know, let the other person 162 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 3: know when we have things planned, just in case we 163 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 3: were trying to plan something with one another. So, like 164 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 3: I said, me and my girls, we plan our things. 165 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: It's usually like once a month. It's planned out weeks 166 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 3: in advance. I let him know weeks in advance. You 167 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 3: know what the plans are he still moves kind of 168 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 3: last minute, you know what I'm saying. I don't know 169 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 3: if it's just the guy thing, but whenever the guys 170 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 3: have something that pop up, he just like. 171 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, such and such as doing this and do 172 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 4: I'm ready run over here and cool. I'll let you 173 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Once again, I'm not a cleaner. 174 00:07:55,120 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 3: I don't mind, but it seems like, and let me 175 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 3: say this, it's not even so much as me being 176 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 3: out with my other friends outside of him. It seems 177 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 3: like for some reason he takes that time that I'm 178 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 3: away from him as me like not wanting to be 179 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 3: I don't even know how to explain it. 180 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 4: It really is like he's jealous. Like he will. 181 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 3: Start an argument over something patty like literally, I've had 182 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 3: my hand on the doorknob, ready to walk out the door, 183 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 3: and he'll start wanting to argue about something like literally 184 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 3: to where, And it's embarrassing because my girls, he's loud. 185 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 3: And then even more so than that, like if I 186 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 3: am planning something with somebody else that's like. 187 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 2: You might be from Houston. 188 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 1: I feel like I hear a little bit of heuston areas 189 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: because you kind of sound like Erica Banks. 190 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 2: God damn all right, sorry, go ahead, Like when one. 191 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 4: Of our birthdays come up or something like. 192 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 3: That, he seems to take issue with it, and then 193 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 3: we'll come power what I've done for him to what 194 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 3: I'm doing with or for my friends and phrase it 195 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 3: in a way that he feels like I'm giving them 196 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 3: more attention, are doing more for them, which is never 197 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 3: the case. And let me say, just he and I 198 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 3: go out often. Sometimes he plans to date, sometimes I 199 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 3: plan the date. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay. So 200 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. Outside of doing stuff with 201 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 3: our mutual friend groups, with our separate friend groups, we 202 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 3: have date nights for just he and I quite often, 203 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, whenever we can get rid 204 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 3: of the kids were doing us and so like, just 205 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 3: to give you a better example, there was one year 206 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 3: when one of my good friends wanted to go take 207 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 3: a little trip. And I'm gonna say out of state 208 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 3: just because it was literally another state, but it's a 209 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 3: state that borders our state. Just to go, you know, 210 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 3: that's what females do. I wasn't driving, I ain't use 211 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 3: my car, my gas, I ain't pay for nobody's food 212 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 3: but my own. I was just a passenger in the 213 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 3: car on this birthday dinner. This man really made an 214 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 3: issue about that. How i'mbout well, you ain't never took 215 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 3: me to such and such for my birthday. 216 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 4: I said, you know, I didn't take up. 217 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 2: All wrong with right for anything. 218 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 3: So, and it's just that's just one example, and that 219 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 3: has been a repetitive thing. Whenever I'm celebrating, That's what 220 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 3: it is. Whenever I'm celebrating somebody else. He will then 221 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 3: compare that to what I've done for him, and all 222 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 3: of a sudden, what I've done for him is not enough, 223 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 3: mind you. 224 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 4: I go big for his birthday. 225 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 3: We don't went to comedy shows, concerts out I'm through 226 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,839 Speaker 3: surprise parties. We don't have expensive dinners, you know what 227 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 3: I'm saying. And his birthday is around a holiday, so 228 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 3: it's always something major going on that we attend together 229 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 3: or I plan something for us in the family. So 230 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 3: he's never left out, he's never forgotten about or put 231 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 3: on the back burner or. 232 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 4: Anything of that sort. 233 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 3: So and once again, he's always very much happy with 234 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,079 Speaker 3: what it is that I do for him, until. 235 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 2: It's time for me, something else. 236 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 3: For somebody else, And he is then starting to compare 237 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 3: what I've done for him to what I'm doing for 238 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 3: them and feels a certain type of way about it, 239 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 3: And I don't understand that, Like, I don't know if 240 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 3: he has some type of attachment issue that he hasn't 241 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 3: delved into, or was there something going on on those 242 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 3: every Friday days that he was doing that he wasn't 243 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 3: supposed to be doing. So now he thinks that I'm 244 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 3: out doing stuff when I'm at like, I literally do 245 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 3: not know. And I can't even get him to recognize 246 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 3: the pattern when I bring it up whenever this happens 247 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 3: that I'm like, babe, this is a pattern. Remember you 248 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 3: did this last time. I can't even get him admit 249 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 3: to that being what he's doing, so we can get 250 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 3: past it. So I hope that's enough context to kind 251 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 3: of let you. 252 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 4: Know where I'm at. 253 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 3: I mean, we cool and get along any other time 254 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 3: outside of this, outside of me wanting to do something 255 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 3: outside of him. 256 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,719 Speaker 4: So like, how would you handle that? 257 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Because I'm not the type 258 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 3: of woman you can tell me where you can't go 259 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 3: here and you can't go there, I'm grown as hell, 260 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,559 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. He didn't meet till we 261 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,319 Speaker 3: was almost thirty. Like, I had a full life before you, 262 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 3: and I'm still gonna live even while I'm with you. 263 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 4: So like, how would you handle that? You know what 264 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 4: I'm saying. 265 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 3: I've suggested therapy, He said, oh, you always trying to 266 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 3: stay colagize me. That's what he goes to because of 267 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 3: course that's my field. So that is how I think 268 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: about most things. And I feel like everybody needs some therapy. 269 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 3: Everybody has some trauma that they trying to get. 270 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 271 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 3: Also, I know in his past relationship before me, that 272 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 3: was a issue. His ex was out doing lord knows 273 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 3: whatever with whoever, and so maybe he's just a little 274 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 3: jaded from that. 275 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 4: I don't know. 276 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 3: But in my case, I've not In my case, I've 277 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 3: not done anything to warrant him come in to me 278 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 3: the way he does whenever I want to do something 279 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 3: outside of him. I've never cheated, There's never been any infidelity, 280 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 3: not even an inkling of it. 281 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 4: That's never anything he's ever had to worry about. 282 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I just really don't understand why he tries 283 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 3: to hold me in. So you know what I'm saying, like, 284 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 3: what's your problem with my friends? 285 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 4: Bruh? 286 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 3: Like why can't I go hang out with my friends? 287 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 3: So that's basically it. I know I'm probably over my 288 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 3: eight minutes, but I just wanted to give you as 289 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 3: much background as possible, to give you an idea of 290 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 3: where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling, and see 291 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 3: what your thoughts are on this. How would you approach 292 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 3: this type of situation? Like how can I get him 293 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 3: to realize he need to just chill out? 294 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:42,719 Speaker 4: Like what would you do? 295 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 3: Because I trust your judgment, you give really good advice. 296 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 3: So yeah, curious to hear how you would handle us, Jess. 297 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 3: I look forward to hearing. Thank you well. 298 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: First and foremost, thank you for being open with me, Love. 299 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: I appreciate you for even letting me in on your 300 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: business so I can try to fix your mess. First 301 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 1: of all, not first of all, I don't want to 302 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 1: say first of all because first of all, it's not 303 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: like I'm about to get smart. 304 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 2: First thing, is he a middle child? 305 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 3: Like? 306 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 2: Is he middle child? 307 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 1: It just I mean, you gave me a lot of context, 308 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: yes you did, but I want to know like his 309 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: childhood to be honest with you, because yeah, past relationships, 310 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: they yeah, of course they can have an effect on 311 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: you know, effect on you for the rest of your 312 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: life after them, depending on how you know. 313 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 2: Detrimental it was to you, to your mental. 314 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: Or you know, how severe it was, or even how 315 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: great it was, and you'll never knowing that you'll never 316 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: get that back again. So each relationship definitely takes a 317 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: toll on whether it be for good or bad, on people, 318 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: especially if they've been with a person long. All right, 319 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: so you're two years Mary, I feel like I've heard 320 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: a story like this before, and we see it every day, 321 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 1: you know, spouse being kind of sort of jealous of 322 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: their husband or wife social life. You know, he he 323 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: may not he may not know how to express to 324 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: you that he has attachment issues or abandonment, even may 325 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: feel abandoned. 326 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 2: That's why I asked, see a middle child. 327 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: You know, most of the time middle children they are 328 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to say it, like kind of forgotten about, 329 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: but they're kind of you know, they're the middle because 330 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: the firstborn's automatic top priority, you know, until the second 331 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: one comes, and then that's the baby until the third 332 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 1: one comes, and then the third one gets you know, 333 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: the third one gets all the by that time, gets 334 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: the least amount of discipline. They're they're you're more lenient 335 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: with the goddamn babies. And then the the oldest is 336 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 1: off doing whatever the fuck they're doing, still passing down whatever, 337 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 1: paying like slight attention to the middle child and even 338 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: less attention to the baby. 339 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: But the middle child. 340 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: Is always the one that have like the complicated Well 341 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: that's what it's known to be. Traditionally, middle children are 342 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: the most complicated ones. They have the most complicated lives. 343 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: They're forgotten about or they're put on the back burner 344 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 1: for this, that and the other, blah blah blah blah whatever. 345 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: That's why I ask to see a middle child. That 346 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 1: definitely a lot of y'all maybe listening to this like that, 347 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: what that don't make sense? No, that that will have 348 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: an effect for shit. Sure, Now, his past relationship, like 349 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: you said, his ex was out here doing anything with 350 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 1: anybody and just doing everything out there. You know, he 351 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: definitely could have been damaged in that relationship and just 352 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: carried the baggage over to you. 353 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 2: But listen, this is the thing. You're married. 354 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: You've been married with him for two years y'all been 355 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: married for two years, I think you said, but y'all 356 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: been together far longer. Y'all have a child together, y'all 357 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: have a eight year old baby, well, an eight year 358 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: old child. I still thinking a baby, because you know 359 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: he's a kid. So I'm gonna say, you'll have a 360 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 1: eight year old baby together. Is this out of nowhere? 361 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: I mean, like just suddenly out of nowhere? You know, 362 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: because you've been with him for a long time. So 363 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: everything that he experienced in his last relationship shouldn't still 364 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: be affecting him eight years later with you. I'm gonna 365 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: just go ahead and say ten years. I mean, y'all 366 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 1: coming up on a decade of being together, just married 367 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: for two I'm gonna go ahead and say, I don't 368 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: think that his last relationship should still be affecting him. 369 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: Did anything happen with y'all? Like, did you ever not cheating? 370 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 2: Not cheating? 371 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: Because I heard you say loud and Claire, I've never cheated. 372 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 1: I've never wanted to cheat. I'm not a cheater. 373 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 2: I don't do that. 374 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 1: He has, he's never cheated on you and and all that. Yeah, 375 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: but did something happen? Cheating is not the only thing 376 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: that can result in something like this and behavior like this. 377 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: Have you did you ever have a friend who you 378 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: told him about was cheating on her husband or And 379 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: I know that y'all have close friend groups, like your 380 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: girlfriends are basically married to his, his homeboys and shit 381 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: like that, So y'all are a conjoined group, like y'all 382 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: know each other, You're all comfortable with each other. 383 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,679 Speaker 2: Y'all group, his boys grew up with him. You know 384 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 2: your girls. 385 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: They all been around these people for a long time, 386 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: these guys for a long time. So I'm just trying 387 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: to figure out, was there ever a friend who wasn't 388 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 1: in a good relationship that confided in you and you 389 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: went home and confided in your husband, which happens all 390 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: the time. That I mean, it has to be a 391 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: reason that he gets so jealous of your social life 392 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,719 Speaker 1: outside of him. You know, Is he stressed out at 393 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: work because it's something bothering him at with work? You know, 394 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: I listen, and I know you said that he thrives 395 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: around his homeboys, like you know, he's a little he's 396 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: a bit last minute. Maybe he's last minute because he's 397 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: left out a lot. 398 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? 399 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm not justifying the jealousy and how the I mean 400 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: the arguments that he picks. I am definitely trying to 401 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 1: give him benefit of the doubt and justifying why he's jealous, 402 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,199 Speaker 1: because that doesn't just happen. And then you're his wife, 403 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. No, y' all been together 404 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,719 Speaker 1: way too long for this to be a thing. You know, 405 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: if it was a thing at the beginning, then that's 406 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: a red flag that you ignored. And then also, I 407 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,959 Speaker 1: know that you're already in the major of psychology, and yeah, 408 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: you know, you tell him he needs to go get therapy, 409 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: and he in return tells you, don't try to psychologize me. 410 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 1: I will have you know. That is not a word. 411 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,919 Speaker 1: I don't think it is. But he needs to be 412 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:54,880 Speaker 1: comfortable with the fact that his wife is a psychologist 413 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: in the making, that you are studying to be a psychologist, 414 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: and that you could help him. 415 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 2: And it has to start at home. 416 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 1: If you can help heal your husband, or you know, 417 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: help work together on that and use your major to 418 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: do so what you learned in school. Because you seem 419 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: like you're well devoted and committed to doing this. I 420 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: think that your husband could be your first project. I mean, 421 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: it's home, it's very personal. And then it also gives 422 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 1: you an experience not to tell your clients when you 423 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: have a boatload of them, because baby, I'm praying that 424 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 1: you have like a client list as long as the Blacklist, 425 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,479 Speaker 1: and I'm talking about the show, honey. It's a lot 426 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 1: of motherfuckers on that black List, honey. Because I'm for this, 427 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: I'm for this. I really am happy for you going 428 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: in this major. A lot of us need help, a 429 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: lot of people, everybody need a little therapy. I heard 430 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,239 Speaker 1: you also say that, and I do agree with you. 431 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 1: And a lot of men, which my brother always says, 432 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 1: Charlemagneagotti always says, black men are always afraid or turning 433 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: down therapy because they don't like to open up and expose, 434 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: you know, they don't like to expose their traumas. You know, 435 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: a lot of people bury stuff under the rug. Had 436 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: to be something, it's something that he feels that way. 437 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: I think you need to sit down and talk to him, 438 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 1: talk him through, like, talk to him. You said he's 439 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,440 Speaker 1: not controlling. You did say that, but you just said 440 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: age he'll try to pick arguments and stuff like that. 441 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 2: Y'all do things together. 442 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 1: Everything that you do for him is great until you 443 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: do something for somebody else. There's an issue there. There's 444 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 1: an issue there. You got to get to the bottom 445 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: of it. You have to get to the bottom of it. 446 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,680 Speaker 1: I think that you have to sit down with him 447 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: and you have to lay it all out. 448 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 2: Baby. 449 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 1: It's just me and you. It's just me and you 450 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 1: right now. I'm not playing psychologists. I'm playing a wife 451 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: who is trying to figure out what's going on with 452 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 1: her husband. Because this is I think you should let 453 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: him know the detriment that it's causing you the like 454 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: I think you need to let him know. 455 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it again. Put the people in the back, 456 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,439 Speaker 2: let him know. 457 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 1: Communicate with your husband, telling him how you feel. You 458 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 1: don't want to leave him, You're happy with him, but 459 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 1: this does not make you happy. Everything outside of this 460 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: makes you happy. Why can't we get on the same 461 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,679 Speaker 1: page with this? Why do I feel like there is 462 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 1: some type of jealousy streak with my social life as 463 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 1: it pertains to my marriage. I don't you know. I 464 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: don't like how you make me feel when I'm about 465 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: to go out. You make me feel bad for going out. 466 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: That's that's not that that's that's that shouldn't be that way, 467 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,120 Speaker 1: that's inappropriate. 468 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 2: I don't do anything, you know, I think you need to. 469 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: I think you need to get inside of his head, 470 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, really, really beat it 471 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: in there. Talk talk to him, Talk to him, talk 472 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 1: to him, you know, that's the first thing. Communication and 473 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: then be honest. He needs to lay it all out 474 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: on the table. But you need to figure out what's 475 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: going on in your marriage, honey, because it is all 476 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 1: hope is not lost. I mean, that's the only problem 477 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 1: you all are having. And I know it bothers. You 478 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: fucking fix that shit, you know. And I know you're 479 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: I know you come to me for the how, but 480 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 1: you know you have to talk to him, talk to him, 481 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: get it out of him. He don't want to talk 482 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: about it. And he don't want to talk about it. 483 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 1: It ain't nothing. A lot of people will deny that 484 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 1: they have a problem until you put it in their face. 485 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: Put it in their face. You argue with me every 486 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 1: time I'm about to park this door to go somewhere. 487 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: I don't do that to you. I'm not a clanky person. 488 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: Maybe he is, a clinky person. You know what I'm saying. 489 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 1: Obviously he is a clinky person. So now you have 490 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: to deal with the balance. What that looks like? What 491 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: that balance looks like. I'm clanky but my husband is not. 492 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: Or I'm not clanky, but my husband is. How does 493 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,400 Speaker 1: that work? How can y'all work that out? 494 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: You understand what I'm saying. 495 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: So you gave him a lot of praise, and I 496 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: do love that. Although y'all are having issues just with that, 497 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: you gave him a lot of praise. So I know 498 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: you love him. I know you're not gonna leave, and 499 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,199 Speaker 1: you shouldn't. You know, you fight for this. This is 500 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: definitely worth fighting for, like real shit, and with all 501 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: the meat on the bone you told me, I don't 502 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: think you left anything. I don't think there's anything that 503 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 1: you're not telling me other than maybe something that may 504 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: have happened that that could lead to this behavior that 505 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 1: he's portraying. 506 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,760 Speaker 2: So I don't know. I like I said, well, I'm 507 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 2: not gonna say I don't know. I do know. I 508 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,199 Speaker 2: know that you need to talk to him. 509 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 1: Y'all need to look into therapy individually and then do 510 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,479 Speaker 1: marriage counseling together together. You know, step outside of your 511 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: psychology bag. You know what I'm saying. Maybe he don't 512 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: want to be looked at as a client. You know 513 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Maybe y'all should go to somebody together 514 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: that could also help you and your major. You know, 515 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: just just seek counsel yourself because it can help you. 516 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: Nothing helps you out like experience. Nothing is better than 517 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: experience because that creates wisdom. You know nothing. So you 518 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: took up the whole episode, girl, I love it. Though 519 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 1: I love it. This is very juicy, and this is 520 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: very relatable. And then also you could help a lot 521 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,440 Speaker 1: of women with just speaking your truth and how that 522 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: pertains to your marriage and how it also pertains to 523 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: other women who could be going through the same thing. 524 00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 1: So I love you, baby, girl. Make sure you get 525 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: back to me. Update me. I'm going to be checking. 526 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: I love to check on everybody who's mess. Who's mess 527 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 1: I try to fix, whether I can fix it or not. Now, 528 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 1: like Charlemagne say, I am no expert, but I am 529 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,639 Speaker 1: an experienced person. And anything I cannot help you with, 530 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,239 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna sit here and bullshit you baby. If 531 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: I can't help you, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna 532 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: read your story, but I do believe that this is 533 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,400 Speaker 1: just a simple, a simple matter of just communication, being 534 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: honest and going to seek counsel together as a union, 535 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: because y'all are one as a union, you know. And 536 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,880 Speaker 1: just like that, we come to the end of yet 537 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: another carefully reckless episode with your Girl justs Hilarious, who 538 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,360 Speaker 1: will be fixing mess day in and day out, each 539 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,239 Speaker 1: and every Wednesday on the Black Effect Network. Shut out 540 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: to I heart y'all and in my deepest Pam voice, peace, 541 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: Talk to y'all next week.