1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: I don't think guys care about the boobs, right, like

2
00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,040
Speaker 1: like size small to big, Like.

3
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:08,319
Speaker 2: That's literally all I fucking have. Okay, by the way,

4
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:14,400
Speaker 2: just talking about the nothing. Okay, so you just fucking

5
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,000
Speaker 2: hype up the boobs and say I love your boobs.

6
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,760
Speaker 1: I think the boobs are prime and better than ever.

7
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:21,960
Speaker 2: Let's just wait.

8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I want to I want to do

9
00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 3: something because usually we do affirmation on our show. Can

10
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,240
Speaker 3: you affirm Adam some things that you love about him?

11
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,320
Speaker 3: His physical his physical appearance.

12
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:47,800
Speaker 1: M h.

13
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:50,279
Speaker 2: M hm.

14
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,440
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

15
00:00:59,480 --> 00:00:59,920
Speaker 3: I'm Neil.

16
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,480
Speaker 4: Happy Wednesday.

17
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,040
Speaker 3: Happy Wednesday, guys.

18
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,040
Speaker 5: You guys were in New York City still and we

19
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,440
Speaker 5: have some og guests with us.

20
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,119
Speaker 4: It's been a fucking minute.

21
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,120
Speaker 5: We're just gonna get straight into it because I'm tired

22
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 5: of hearing you guys complain on YouTube that we don't

23
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,160
Speaker 5: introduce our guests fast enough. And secondly, I'm just so

24
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,440
Speaker 5: fucking excited to have you guys, because I'm drunk now

25
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:27,080
Speaker 5: thanks to you from our last episode. This Month's Guide

26
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,280
Speaker 5: This month, this month's name is a Good Mom's Guide

27
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 5: to Everything and my Bad Choice of the day is

28
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:39,240
Speaker 5: getting drunk before recording with you. So I haven't really

29
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,640
Speaker 5: eate like earlier. We were on the Today Show and

30
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,000
Speaker 5: I think Miela went to go eat.

31
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:43,560
Speaker 4: I did not.

32
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,160
Speaker 5: I just went back to bed and laid down. And

33
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:51,720
Speaker 5: all I had was pistachiossos in your room too. I

34
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,480
Speaker 5: bought them downstairs in the hotel lobby. And so I've

35
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 5: I've had pistachios and tequila today and I've already cried

36
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:58,880
Speaker 5: on your episode.

37
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 4: I'm going to really try. I don't know, maybe I'll

38
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,560
Speaker 4: cry to what I knows.

39
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,800
Speaker 5: I'm really feeling in my feelings, but like I got

40
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,640
Speaker 5: to get some shit off my chest. But I'm just

41
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:11,080
Speaker 5: really excited to introduce marriage and Martini's Danielle and Adam

42
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,480
Speaker 5: back to the show. The last time we were on

43
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,480
Speaker 5: our show was.

44
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 4: Did we do it? Did we do a?

45
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:18,079
Speaker 2: No?

46
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,440
Speaker 4: We only did one episode, but it was just yours.

47
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:26,160
Speaker 6: Yeah there you haven't yeah, Adam, there, I forgot we

48
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:26,800
Speaker 6: did that episode.

49
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:27,480
Speaker 2: You weren't there.

50
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,800
Speaker 4: Did cheated on you, Adam?

51
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,440
Speaker 1: But I went to l A with you.

52
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,400
Speaker 2: Right after that New York and we met up and

53
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 2: did it an episode, but you weren't there.

54
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,920
Speaker 5: But the last time you guys were on our show

55
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,720
Speaker 5: was the first year of podcasting for us, and it's

56
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,360
Speaker 5: been a minute, and you guys trusted us.

57
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 4: You came to a stranger's home in the valley and.

58
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, we let you get us wasted in your not

59
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:53,720
Speaker 1: knowing where we.

60
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,040
Speaker 4: Were was a line for my lime Tree mixed.

61
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,000
Speaker 3: Two runs to the store for a full size bottle

62
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 3: was a Tito's like a five hour span. We had

63
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:05,799
Speaker 3: a great time, though, Yeah, we did.

64
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,720
Speaker 1: I mean, the only thing I remember about that night

65
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:08,520
Speaker 1: was the Lime Tree.

66
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 5: So do we have like professional cameras for this because

67
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:17,919
Speaker 5: we're like, this is I don't know, but I remember

68
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,880
Speaker 5: like it was like it was like the most high

69
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,919
Speaker 5: end video of production we've ever done at that point.

70
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we all spoken to one Yetti mic.

71
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,639
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is the most accurate.

72
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,600
Speaker 3: All speaking into one mic.

73
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,359
Speaker 4: All I got is one mic.

74
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,160
Speaker 2: You guys don't still use Yetti's, right, Yeah.

75
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,160
Speaker 4: Graduated to shore mics. We haven't shout out to David.

76
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,120
Speaker 5: He's upgraded our life and we have our Now we

77
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,160
Speaker 5: have a podcast studio in La that we all have

78
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,960
Speaker 5: individual mics, but we're actually sitting in our homegirls studio

79
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 5: right now. Shout out to Mandy and her studio, Full

80
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:56,480
Speaker 5: Court Studios in Brooklyn for graciously letting us use her place.

81
00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 5: But no, we've we've advanced our our technologicals podcasting experience.

82
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,120
Speaker 3: They got to our community for like sticking in there

83
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,760
Speaker 3: because some.

84
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,800
Speaker 4: Real rough episodes.

85
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, people start listening to ours from the first one

86
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,680
Speaker 2: and we'll message us and be like I started listening

87
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,680
Speaker 2: to at the beginning and I'm like, and you're still here.

88
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,000
Speaker 1: Wow.

89
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,640
Speaker 2: I mean, we didn't even thank you. We didn't know.

90
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,719
Speaker 6: Bitch bought us a mic. Like a few episodes in

91
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,080
Speaker 6: she bought us I don't know.

92
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,600
Speaker 3: I think the first episode we thought it was going

93
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,480
Speaker 3: to be a test, so there was no mic. Within

94
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,360
Speaker 3: the second episode, we ordered some mics from Amazon, and

95
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,600
Speaker 3: then Nisha bought us the Yetti that we'd.

96
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,480
Speaker 4: Use for many years.

97
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,159
Speaker 5: Okay, but I mean garage Band was doing what it

98
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:39,760
Speaker 5: needed to do.

99
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,120
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, you want to hear the message.

100
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,160
Speaker 6: I think we even gave up on sometimes the mikes

101
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,920
Speaker 6: weren't working, so we just like fuck it.

102
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,440
Speaker 3: A lot of shit wasn't working, and here our kids

103
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,360
Speaker 3: in the background, and we were stalking people through other

104
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,640
Speaker 3: other podcast Ever.

105
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,200
Speaker 2: Re recorded an episode, because in the beginning, we would

106
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,400
Speaker 2: record an episode and be like, we're not releasing that

107
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,600
Speaker 2: ship heard it. I think our first episode we recorded

108
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 2: like four times.

109
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: That is the first one.

110
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but that's the beauty of our podcast. We

111
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,760
Speaker 3: literally thought no one was listening and we literally didn't care. Actually,

112
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,599
Speaker 3: our first episode was supposed to be a test, but

113
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,159
Speaker 3: it was an hour and a half long, and we

114
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,760
Speaker 3: were like, I'm not about to do this shit again.

115
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:18,520
Speaker 3: I have kids.

116
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,160
Speaker 4: I was like, okare just put this one on.

117
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 3: This one seems good. Yeah, we did it, and then

118
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,280
Speaker 3: after that like we've literally like I want to say,

119
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,560
Speaker 3: zero point five percent.

120
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,279
Speaker 5: The only time we've ever semi recorded an episode was

121
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,680
Speaker 5: because maybe the mic failed and then we had to

122
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,800
Speaker 5: go back and try to reimagine what we spoke about.

123
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,920
Speaker 3: Or the guests had a problem, and even then we're like.

124
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,520
Speaker 5: I don't know, have you ever had any guests that

125
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,479
Speaker 5: were like, can I hear the episode?

126
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:46,040
Speaker 2: Can you take this out? Actually, just last week, you

127
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,839
Speaker 2: do an episode, can we record it?

128
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:48,039
Speaker 1: No?

129
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,960
Speaker 2: We do not let you. We said, look, while we're recording,

130
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,159
Speaker 2: if you hear if we say something, or you say

131
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,279
Speaker 2: something that you don't like, do.

132
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,560
Speaker 4: You make them sign things? Because I was like, make

133
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,200
Speaker 4: these host signes.

134
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,880
Speaker 2: We did a podcast one not professional.

135
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,200
Speaker 3: You're more professional than us because you're the first people

136
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,240
Speaker 3: who like gave us your like press kid, You're like, yeah,

137
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,599
Speaker 3: look at it. Like literally, Danielle was like all arms,

138
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,680
Speaker 3: like she's like, what do you need? I can Dale,

139
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,919
Speaker 3: I would still be of course, and in our eyes

140
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 3: we were just like like we didn't know shit, and

141
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,560
Speaker 3: we're like, Danielle, help us.

142
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaker 4: You know, the podcasting.

143
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,039
Speaker 5: Space surprisingly, I mean maybe not surprisingly because of you know,

144
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 5: our friendship and how how it happened, but it really

145
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:31,279
Speaker 5: like solidified or reinvigorated my trust in women. I have

146
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,480
Speaker 5: had such amazing interactions with women in the podcasting space,

147
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,960
Speaker 5: so many helpful people along the way that have supported

148
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,600
Speaker 5: our journey without wanting anything in return, including the person's

149
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,520
Speaker 5: who studio I'm in at this moment and it's been amazing,

150
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,359
Speaker 5: and you are one of those women. So thank you,

151
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,240
Speaker 5: like very very early on too.

152
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,320
Speaker 2: That's the only way to get it done.

153
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:52,719
Speaker 1: You're welcome.

154
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,080
Speaker 2: Sorry, what the fuck am I.

155
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,919
Speaker 4: The body language is speaking?

156
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:02,839
Speaker 1: I could be a prop.

157
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 2: I can just show you think about Adam is that

158
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,279
Speaker 2: he's so like I have to say, you know how

159
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,480
Speaker 2: many husbands would be like like when I asked him

160
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 2: about the podcast and starting the podcast, I would say

161
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,920
Speaker 2: probably ninety eight maybe ninety nine percent of husbands would

162
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,760
Speaker 2: be like are you fucking crazy? Right? But like, I

163
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,840
Speaker 2: am so lucky and it has like if you if

164
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,480
Speaker 2: your partner asks you to do something that seems crazy

165
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,280
Speaker 2: but yet not crazy and like we're going to go

166
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,200
Speaker 2: to jail kind of way, but in a crazy like

167
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,360
Speaker 2: if this works, it will be fucking awesome and even

168
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,880
Speaker 2: if it doesn't work, we'll enjoy it so much. Say

169
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,200
Speaker 2: yes because him saying yes to our podcast saved our

170
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,080
Speaker 2: entire relationship. Had he said no that night, we would

171
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,040
Speaker 2: be divorced right now.

172
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,200
Speaker 3: Not that was your solution.

173
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,640
Speaker 1: And he didn't know, not because I say he didn't,

174
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,600
Speaker 1: Not because I would have said not. Because if I

175
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,840
Speaker 1: had said no, we would be divorced, just because whatever.

176
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,840
Speaker 1: Since I said yes, what it's led to no?

177
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,760
Speaker 5: He do you know?

178
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,240
Speaker 2: That night? It would have been like, Okay, he absolutely

179
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,480
Speaker 2: doesn't trust me. He doesn't want to tell our story.

180
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,920
Speaker 2: He wants to just suppress it. I can't do that.

181
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,360
Speaker 5: Well, That's why I love you guys. You guys are

182
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,080
Speaker 5: like the married version of us, Like, because you guys

183
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:24,440
Speaker 5: have been so transparent about your relationship and just the

184
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,760
Speaker 5: ebbs and flows, the roommate phase, the lover phase, the

185
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,079
Speaker 5: betrayal phase, the rebuilding phase, that I don't know what

186
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,880
Speaker 5: the fuck we're doing phase.

187
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:33,840
Speaker 6: You know.

188
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,840
Speaker 5: And I think we have a lot of married people

189
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 5: that listen that I think, when I know, resonate with

190
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 5: that and are problem maybe in the thick of one

191
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,920
Speaker 5: of those phases right now and wondering like should I

192
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,240
Speaker 5: just leave this person? And like, you know, me and

193
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,360
Speaker 5: Mila are not we're not real versed in marriage. We're

194
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:55,080
Speaker 5: not We're like babies in relationships, essentially healthy ones at least,

195
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 5: And I think you guys are really a testament to,

196
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,080
Speaker 5: you know, what it looks like to really ride the

197
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,160
Speaker 5: wave of a relationship, because you know, people will look

198
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,600
Speaker 5: at our show and say, oh, we're advocates from we

199
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,080
Speaker 5: break up marriages, and we're like, if it doesn't serve.

200
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,720
Speaker 4: You, fucking leave, And then I agree with that too,

201
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:12,320
Speaker 4: and there is.

202
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,719
Speaker 5: An element of that, but I also know that relationships

203
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,839
Speaker 5: take work and like that it's not always going to

204
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,680
Speaker 5: be perfect. But it's like who you want to be

205
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,320
Speaker 5: imperfectly perfect with and like, who is it worth?

206
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,320
Speaker 4: Who is it worth it?

207
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,520
Speaker 5: It seems like you guys have found the worth the

208
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,600
Speaker 5: worthiness in each other.

209
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,679
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean not only doing this podcast, I

210
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,040
Speaker 1: almost feel like I'm in a woman's world, you know,

211
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:37,760
Speaker 1: like I'm out here to save relationship, not safe, to

212
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,040
Speaker 1: better relationship.

213
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,320
Speaker 6: As Captain sabahoship, just to let.

214
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,880
Speaker 1: You know that we're in it. You know, this is

215
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,400
Speaker 1: our issues. People say, Hey, look, we're in the same situation.

216
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,120
Speaker 1: I'm in this world of women, you know, with the

217
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,080
Speaker 1: interviews that we do. But what I found is I

218
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,520
Speaker 1: get messages from men who are saying, hey, my wife

219
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,720
Speaker 1: is saying, you know, I'm upset with her because of

220
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,040
Speaker 1: the same reasons women complain about their husbands or boyfriends

221
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,520
Speaker 1: or whatever. So we're finding doing this we're kind of

222
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,480
Speaker 1: all intermeshed this in these problems together. Men have the

223
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,880
Speaker 1: same issues that women do too, you know women, you know,

224
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,280
Speaker 1: I want to act the same as you know men

225
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,439
Speaker 1: in these uncomfortable relationships, and you know, doing and saying things,

226
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,400
Speaker 1: you know whatever, I'm just saying. Men are reaching out

227
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,880
Speaker 1: to me saying they're having these issues too, you know,

228
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,280
Speaker 1: And thanking me for being out there doing this because

229
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:36,880
Speaker 1: it's not just women. You know, it's not just women

230
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 1: having issues of course.

231
00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,880
Speaker 3: You know, well, I think the problem is is that

232
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,520
Speaker 3: we all have issues, But I mean men have a

233
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:48,160
Speaker 3: much less open space to communicate their feelings and be

234
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 3: vulnerable open ladies.

235
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 1: Well, guys don't go out with their guy friends and

236
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,520
Speaker 1: be like, oh, hey, I'm upset because my wife, you know,

237
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,880
Speaker 1: said so you know, we don't do that where I

238
00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,040
Speaker 1: think women get together and you know their stories are

239
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,440
Speaker 1: you know, bitch about their husbands or boyfriends or you know,

240
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,040
Speaker 1: guys don't do that as far as I know, because

241
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:08,880
Speaker 1: we don't have an outlet.

242
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,480
Speaker 3: It's considered, it's considered like female behavior.

243
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,839
Speaker 4: This is not gonna be popular amongst the women. I'm

244
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,559
Speaker 4: just gonna go ahead and.

245
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,160
Speaker 5: Say, well, I think that like men, they don't worry

246
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,000
Speaker 5: as much as women, right, And I think that there's

247
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 5: a reason why men I this is. Don't quote me,

248
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,600
Speaker 5: but I really think that men look younger than women

249
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:32,960
Speaker 5: becallo they do hello because they literally just don't give

250
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,840
Speaker 5: a fuck, like they they give a fuck, but they

251
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 5: give less a fuck than we do. They have like

252
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,000
Speaker 5: almost no concept of time, and age well, which which

253
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,800
Speaker 5: which then like they're not men are like not like, damn,

254
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:45,960
Speaker 5: I'm turning forty five.

255
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 4: Like women are women exactly? There isn't so there's there is.

256
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,880
Speaker 5: Yes, So there's this whole other thing happening in the

257
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,200
Speaker 5: background called the patriarchy that we as women are you know,

258
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,120
Speaker 5: have been, you know, conditioned to feed into. But I

259
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,640
Speaker 5: think that because men are men just don't have the

260
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,960
Speaker 5: same worries and so they I feel like, actually, I

261
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,319
Speaker 5: think women do live longer, but.

262
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,840
Speaker 3: The patriarchy makes men look younger.

263
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,200
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so I'll share a story with you the vanity.

264
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,559
Speaker 3: It's true when society is that against you, you're like, oh,

265
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,560
Speaker 3: like walking on sunshine. But when you're constantly worried about

266
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:21,720
Speaker 3: being a good mom or being a good wife, or

267
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,480
Speaker 3: being like beautiful enough, is your body good enough? Or

268
00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:25,920
Speaker 3: is your pussy good enough? Or you have too many

269
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,880
Speaker 3: just like too many dicks, or you said it online

270
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 3: like yeah, your face starts to like stress out.

271
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,760
Speaker 5: The wrinkles come from my gray hairs that I have

272
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,600
Speaker 5: a mask over the last five years.

273
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,440
Speaker 2: It's true. I'll share a story with you that is

274
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 2: very interesting. So we did these whole we just series

275
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,280
Speaker 2: about body image, right, because you know, in the last

276
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,280
Speaker 2: couple of years, I gained a lot of weight, and

277
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,880
Speaker 2: I was sort of trying to sit with it, right,

278
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,280
Speaker 2: I was sort of trying to like be okay with

279
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:58,360
Speaker 2: it because I was just fucking tired of I mean,

280
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,280
Speaker 2: first of all, the amount of money I waste on

281
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 2: diets and this and that, and you know, our life

282
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 2: was like a little stressful, and and our marriage is

283
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,160
Speaker 2: very root in fun, right, Like we love to go

284
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,120
Speaker 2: out and drink and eat, like that's our thing. And

285
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,120
Speaker 2: you know, I have to sort of say to myself, Okay,

286
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,600
Speaker 2: wait a minute, I can't go out and drink and

287
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 2: eat and not gain weight. But at the same time,

288
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 2: I want to go out and drink and eat and

289
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,120
Speaker 2: have a great time with my husband because that's like

290
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,120
Speaker 2: our favorite thing to do.

291
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:26,720
Speaker 4: Right.

292
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,360
Speaker 2: So there were all these things that were happening in

293
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,640
Speaker 2: my life that I was like, I have to sort

294
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:36,000
Speaker 2: of either relinquish the I gained all this weight, or

295
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 2: I'm going to have to like go back to the

296
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,160
Speaker 2: drawing board and be like, Okay, I'm going to figure

297
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,520
Speaker 2: out how to lose the forty pounds, right, Like, those

298
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,559
Speaker 2: are my two options. What am I doing? Am I

299
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,920
Speaker 2: telling my husband.

300
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,240
Speaker 4: No more fun?

301
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,880
Speaker 2: We're not Yeah, we're not right. And that's sort of

302
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,600
Speaker 2: what my my metabolism is. If you want to be thin,

303
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,880
Speaker 2: no more fun, right your meal, prepping on Sundays for

304
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,800
Speaker 2: the week, and you're you know, doing all these things right.

305
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,360
Speaker 2: And Adam is the type of thing where you know,

306
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,920
Speaker 2: same thing. I get messages all the time that you know,

307
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,400
Speaker 2: I see in the comments, Oh are you his mom

308
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,440
Speaker 2: or whatever? Like I see that shit in the comments. Look,

309
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,840
Speaker 2: look when you have a relationship podcast and everything. Look,

310
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,880
Speaker 2: our reviews, as much as most of them are glowing

311
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,600
Speaker 2: and wonderful, the ones that aren't are she's the bitch

312
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 2: or she's the never is it about him? You know?

313
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 2: So so why would it be right? He's perfect, so

314
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 2: you know, in my mind it's intimidating.

315
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,320
Speaker 4: And when he drinks and eats asshole, well that's it.

316
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 2: So so you know, in my mind, I'm always like, okay,

317
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 2: so he is. You know, he's always been a very

318
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,760
Speaker 2: good looking guy. It was always sort of like when

319
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,480
Speaker 2: we got married, I had a great body and I

320
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,560
Speaker 2: was you know, and I still love my body, I

321
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,600
Speaker 2: really do. It's more like when I leave the house

322
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, what is everybody else? I love

323
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 2: my like I love everything about it, and I love

324
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 2: our relationship and the fun that we have. So, you know,

325
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 2: it's been a journey of am I going to accept

326
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 2: this or am I going to fight against it? And

327
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 2: so we did a bunch of body image episodes, which

328
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 2: actually wound up being like our most downloaded episodes ever. Wow.

329
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,000
Speaker 2: And I did one myself first, being like, look, this

330
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 2: is my you know, so the perfect body has been

331
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,800
Speaker 2: you know, like the mechanical rabbit going around the track,

332
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 2: and I have been, you know, the greyhounds constantly trying

333
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,960
Speaker 2: to fucking catch that rabbit and I have never caught

334
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,920
Speaker 2: it and I probably never will. And I'm fucking done,

335
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 2: you know, I'm done. And so when we did the

336
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,520
Speaker 2: first body I asked him to listen to that. I

337
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,880
Speaker 2: was like, you need to listen to this because that

338
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 2: is always on my mind, right, just like most women,

339
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,640
Speaker 2: what are they thinking? Is he looking at my stomach?

340
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 2: What happens when he feels my stomach? What happens when

341
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,120
Speaker 2: I'm on top? What's happening? You know? Like which position

342
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 2: do I look best in?

343
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:54,440
Speaker 1: You know?

344
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,560
Speaker 2: All that stuff that's always on my mind, you know,

345
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 2: and like I love sex with us, I love our

346
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,280
Speaker 2: sex life, and I want it to be good for

347
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 2: him too. So we so we did a body We

348
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 2: did two body Image episodes together, back to back, and

349
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,880
Speaker 2: the first or second, I don't remember which one, I

350
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 2: said to him, so how do you feel? You know,

351
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,880
Speaker 2: because he's not the most vocal guy in bed. This

352
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,640
Speaker 2: is something that we've established on the podcast. If you listen, like,

353
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,280
Speaker 2: he's not you know, I love dirty talk. He's not

354
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 2: talk now.

355
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,680
Speaker 5: He tried.

356
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 1: He tried times. Yeah what.

357
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, he tries. So I said to him,

358
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 2: I want to know right now, what are you thinking

359
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,960
Speaker 2: when I am on top or I am you know,

360
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 2: my stomach is you know, I've had three babies, three

361
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 2: c sections, four pregnancies, we had a miscarriage, all the things.

362
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 2: And he said, are you kidding me? I'm so busy

363
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 2: worrying about my own insecurities that I'm not even thinking

364
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 2: about yours. And I was floored. I mean when I

365
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:06,080
Speaker 2: say floored, I never in a million years would have

366
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 2: thought that, right, Because the thing is always Adam's so

367
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 2: good looking. He looks so young, he looks so much

368
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 2: younger than you blah blah. So in my mind, as always,

369
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 2: if I compliment him, I am drawing attention to my

370
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 2: own negative problem areas and making him feel better about himself.

371
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,680
Speaker 2: And maybe he's going to be like, wait a minute,

372
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 2: I'm so much better looking than her, Maybe I should

373
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 2: be going off and getting myself something else. So so

374
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 2: I'm always saying to him, you don't compliment me enough,

375
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,920
Speaker 2: But I'm saying to myself, don't compliment him, because he's

376
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,440
Speaker 2: gonna then notice that, notice how heavy you are in

377
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,919
Speaker 2: all of these things. And when he said that to me,

378
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 2: when I tell you in that conversation, it changed everything.

379
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,679
Speaker 2: But the problem is that ninety nine percent of couples

380
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 2: don't have that conversation.

381
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 6: They don't have a conversation, and I think also they

382
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 6: might not even believe their partner.

383
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 1: Well, so what happened was during the conversation I said,

384
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: during this whole thing that we were just talking about,

385
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 1: if somebody says to me, hey, you look skinny, that

386
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,679
Speaker 1: would be saying the same thing as someone saying to

387
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,360
Speaker 1: you did you gain weight? You know? Or somebody says

388
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 1: to me, have you lost weight since I last saw you?

389
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 1: It would be hey, did you gain weight since I last, Like,

390
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 1: that's the same to me. I I this metabolism, which

391
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 1: is just fucking crazy. All right, Everybody who's like, you know,

392
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 1: playing this little small violin for me, go fuck yourselves,

393
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: because I feel the same way as if somebody calls

394
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 1: you fat, Like that's the same thing to me.

395
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 5: I can right, right, But no one cares about skinny

396
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 5: people's problems.

397
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 1: But we feel the same. But but it's the same.

398
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 2: It's the guy. It's different. It's different, right, Like you

399
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 2: don't want to you don't want.

400
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: To be by and it's a very insecure feeling. It's like, oh,

401
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 1: am I too skinny? Is my penis too small?

402
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 2: Like?

403
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:00,760
Speaker 4: Am I?

404
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 1: All the things during sex that they also like, am

405
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: I too? You know? It's it's the same insecurities as

406
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: a woman who has either gained weight and feels that

407
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,200
Speaker 1: she's too fat? What is he thinking about me? Where

408
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,639
Speaker 1: I'm thinking the opposite about myself?

409
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 6: Am I?

410
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 2: Just?

411
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: You know all those things? And I've had people reach

412
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 1: out to me, women who said I listened to the

413
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 1: episode and their husband said, hey, you know what, I

414
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 1: feel like I'm too fat compared to you When we

415
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 1: go out, I don't feel good going out, like just

416
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: having the conversation that women never thought their husbands were

417
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 1: feeling that way, and because they listened to me saying

418
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 1: what I was saying, they're saying whether it's the same

419
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: or the opposite or somewhere in between. At least they're

420
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: talking and saying those things where women weren't thinking. Guys

421
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: have these feelings with these point of views or these.

422
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 3: These ideas about their bodies. Yeah, you know, we assume

423
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 3: you look better than me. So I'm not going to

424
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,919
Speaker 3: bring it up because I look insecure and then I

425
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 3: and then I feel like and then I'm chasing.

426
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 2: Like you know, the dad bad is like that was a.

427
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: Thing that's gone, Like I don't know.

428
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 3: Even like like look at George Clooney Salt and Pepper,

429
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 3: like it's right, the older he.

430
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 2: Gets the fine look wonderful. Women have to color their

431
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: hair all the things that are really hard.

432
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 1: But a lot of guys lose their hair. That's not

433
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 1: I mean, I know, it became a thing for a

434
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 1: while and then it's not, and then it is, and

435
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 1: then it's not. Like nobody wants to lose their hair.

436
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 2: Liked, but you can't compare, Like, no, I think women

437
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 2: are way under a microscope. I think way more.

438
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 1: It's kind of like women going gray, right, Like the

439
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,959
Speaker 1: same thing for guys who lose their hair, right Like,

440
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 1: it's kind of like now women who go gray. It's

441
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: kind of like a cool trending thing.

442
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 2: They're trying, but it's not nearly as easy as a guy.

443
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 1: So go ten years ago with guys who were bald,

444
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: who are trying to make it a cral thing because

445
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 1: there's cool guys out there on on camera who look

446
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,640
Speaker 1: amazing bald, but we all don't write.

447
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 3: Like, Okay, you don't know because you haven't had to do.

448
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 1: That, and that's you're not going to the bald gods.

449
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: Don't you look great?

450
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 2: You guys both like, oh my god, I'm so hoping

451
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 2: for him to be bald. I will shine his head.

452
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 2: You want you like bald guys or No, I just

453
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: want him to feel what I feel, to.

454
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 1: Feel the pain.

455
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, I still love to at about him, Ibby, I

456
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 6: still love.

457
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 2: Him and be attracted to him and everything. I just

458
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,959
Speaker 2: want him to like understand a little bit of what

459
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 2: the pressure.

460
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 3: No, for sure, I think this is a really a

461
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 3: really good conversation, and I really admire you for being

462
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: honest about it, and thank you, and and I'm.

463
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 2: Grateful for.

464
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: Else.

465
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 3: I'm grateful for you guys for like showing up, you know,

466
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 3: euthentically and saying like I do think the hair thing

467
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 3: is a big thing for men like wait is for

468
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 3: women the end. You know, I just thought about this

469
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 3: part in our book well where I talk about this

470
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 3: guy who I had sex with for the first time

471
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 3: after like from one one of my first experiences after

472
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 3: like breaking up my baby daddy, and he took his

473
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 3: hat off and he was balding, and I talked shit

474
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: in the book and now I feel really guilty. But

475
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 3: he was, he was, he was super He's still super fine.

476
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 3: He's a super fine guy. And all he needed to

477
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: do was just let the hair go, and he did.

478
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 3: But you know, all that to say is that like

479
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 3: body dysmorphia and like, you know, just having ideas about

480
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 3: our bodies. You know, me and Erica had this conversation

481
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 3: this week and it's not it wasn't pertaining to bodies,

482
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 3: but it was pertaining to things that happen. And then

483
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 3: it's not the thing that happens, but it's the thoughts

484
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 3: that we have after that. Fuck us you know, like

485
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 3: even with like you know, even with you guys who

486
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 3: you're married for so many years, you have three kids,

487
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 3: and you're saying, you know, I'm thinking about this, and

488
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 3: then he finally tells you and he's not thinking about

489
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 3: none of that shit. But in your mind, you've made

490
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,719
Speaker 3: the main thing is this narrative, and now it's fucking

491
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: you up. You can't even get into the set, that's right.

492
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 3: But meanwhile he's he's he's experiencing the same thing, and

493
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 3: you guys are not communicating it, and so it's it's

494
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,400
Speaker 3: it's you know, keeping you guys from each other.

495
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 4: And even with me and Erica, you.

496
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 3: Know, like things will come up and I'm like, I'll

497
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 3: make up something in my mind and it's not real.

498
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 3: And it's like we have to be better at recognizing when.

499
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 2: These these these.

500
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 3: Negative thoughts start to perpetuate our entire thought process and

501
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 3: start to perpetuate like how we think about ourselves and

502
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 3: our self confidence. And like, you know, obviously men don't

503
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: carry babies or give birth, and they don't have they

504
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,239
Speaker 3: don't experience as much pressure from society to look a

505
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 3: certain way because they're a little bit more acceptable after

506
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 3: a certain age or you know, like men are more

507
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 3: desirable at an older age. You're like, oh, he's a

508
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 3: zach Man.

509
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 4: It's a gut. It's not that, it's not right, it's

510
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:45,959
Speaker 4: not a thing.

511
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: I say that to me in the beginning of a relationship.

512
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 2: But he's not the same person at all that he

513
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: was then. But you know, his dad always had a big,

514
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 2: a big belly, and he I remember him saying to

515
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 2: me when I was you know, twenty look twenty two

516
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: and one hundred and fifteen pounds, right like him saying

517
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: to me like, oh, it's okay for my dad because

518
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 2: he's you know, and he again at the time, I

519
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 2: was like, oh fuck, what am I getting myself into?

520
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: And he's not.

521
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 3: He's uh why because you were thinking he's gonna have

522
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 3: that belly.

523
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 2: Gotta give a shit about the belly. I was thinking,

524
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 2: he's he's so concentrated on how people look and everything,

525
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: which which has always been And I was like that too,

526
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: very much. But at the same time, you know, my

527
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 2: body is our journey. You know, my body is our journey.

528
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: I mean we have had you know, first of all,

529
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 2: we've had you know, like I said, I had four pregnancies,

530
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: three kids. I had one miscarriage. I had horrible, horrible

531
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 2: per needle, you know, a qte OCD, which is almost

532
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: killed me. I had. You know, we've had I had

533
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: terrible postpartum, we've had financial like all our stuff that

534
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 2: comes out with him, maybe with stuff that he's done,

535
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: escapism and drinking and gambling and all this stuff has

536
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 2: come out for me with my body and you know,

537
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 2: and our journey is beautiful. You know, I love our journey.

538
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to do it and I'm gonna fucking cry.

539
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 2: I wouldn't, you know. I love our journey. I love

540
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: I do. I love our journey, but it's I do.

541
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 2: But it is as a woman hard to you know,

542
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 2: have that journey and be told you're not supposed to

543
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 2: look like that, so you know, it is it's a

544
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 2: struggle because I don't want anybody else to feel like that,

545
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 2: and yet I feel like that, you know. So that's

546
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: been a really hard thing.

547
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 4: But I mean I resonate with that. I talk about

548
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 4: that in the book.

549
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 5: And you know, I've had body issues since I was

550
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 5: a young girl, just based in acting growing up in

551
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 5: LA comparing myself being the only black girl in my class,

552
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 5: having a mature body early while other girls didn't, and

553
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,360
Speaker 5: I feeling totally out of place, and then getting pregnant,

554
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 5: gaining set twenty pounds in my pregnancy. You know the

555
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 5: story of me and Mila. You know, I saw on Instagram.

556
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 5: I saw her in her little string fucking bikini with

557
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 5: her bottle, like her little glasses champagne. And I was

558
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 5: triggered as fuck because I was like looking at myself.

559
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 5: People kept asking me if I was having twins, and

560
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 5: she had popped out a baby and had a six pack,

561
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,640
Speaker 5: and I was like, fuck her. And I'd also seen

562
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 5: some other Instagram models that were like being glorified for

563
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 5: having like this snapback situation, and then when I had

564
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 5: my baby, and I still struggle even now till this day,

565
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 5: and people might look at me and look at my

566
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 5: Instagram be like, oh, she's such a beautiful girl, Like

567
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 5: what is she talking about? And it's like everyone has

568
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 5: their own private struggles of what their expectation of what

569
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 5: they're supposed to look like, what they think is beautiful,

570
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 5: what they hope that, what they think their partner thinks

571
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 5: is beautiful, what they see their partner look at and glorify.

572
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 5: Oh my God, look at that's like that's my favorite celebrity.

573
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 5: Oh that's this or listen't she gorgeous? And then you

574
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 5: look in the mirror and you're like, I don't look

575
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,719
Speaker 5: like that. Does my partner think I'm attractive?

576
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 6: Like?

577
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 5: And then on top of that, like aging know me

578
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 5: and me lass started I like that's been a thing

579
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 5: for me now, like lately, in the last the last

580
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 5: few like a year or two, like and you know,

581
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 5: and again like I'm thirty five turning thirty six this year.

582
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 5: I know maybe to you, I'm like a baby and

583
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 5: when i'm you know, forty five, I'm a look at

584
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 5: a thirty five or look at myself and be like, but.

585
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 4: Shut the fuck up.

586
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 5: But you know, I look in them, I'm looking at

587
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 5: I literally I'm looking at the beginning of our podcast

588
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 5: and now and I'm like I'm noticing things.

589
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, huh yeah, if I do that too.

590
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 5: Face is looking a little different, that line, those lines

591
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 5: are getting a little deeper.

592
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like, oh that belly that like used to

593
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 4: snap back, how used to?

594
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 5: It's the skin is loose forever now, bitch, And like

595
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 5: it's just it's trick to be a woman and for

596
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 5: our bodies to kind of be kind of on the

597
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 5: chopping block is triggering as fuck. Yeah, you know, and

598
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 5: you know even for us.

599
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 4: And we have daughters, and we have daughters and you know, and.

600
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 1: This is not I just want to interrupt again, this

601
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: is not a woman issue. This is not female. No.

602
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: Maybe years ago there was expectations for women against men.

603
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,959
Speaker 1: I think that's changing and more men are coming out

604
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: different though.

605
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 5: They are physical, but they're not they're little like, okay,

606
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 5: like your hairline. I'm not worried about my hairline most women.

607
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 5: There are women of course that a fitting hair right,

608
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 5: right women. But I think that like the things that

609
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 5: men worry about are like dick size, which they are

610
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 5: totally out of they can't do anything about right well,

611
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 5: which is also traumati which is really triggering and traumatizing

612
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 5: because women we have also perpetuated this big dick like

613
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 5: what we want, this big dick type of thing where

614
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 5: men are like, well, this is what I got.

615
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: You know, what are we supposed to do? I can't

616
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: work out or.

617
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: Put a little sea cup in our titty a little.

618
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I don't care about size, by the way,

619
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: just saying I'm just saying I don't think guys care

620
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: about the boobs right, like like size small to big,

621
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: Like I know there's there's guys who can you know,

622
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: there's what's it called whatever?

623
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 2: Because that's literally all I have.

624
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: Okay, great these days, by the way, just.

625
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: Talking about nothing. Okay, So you guys just fucking hype

626
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: up the booms and say I love your boob.

627
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: I think the boobs are prime and better than ever.

628
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: Let's just wait, you know, I.

629
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: Want to I want to do something because usually we

630
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 3: do affirmation on our show, and I just because you

631
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 3: guys just said that, and because you said that, you

632
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 3: realize that you're not as good as giving and this

633
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: is I'm only doing this because I'm I'm not good

634
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 3: at this girl. But like because you're you're you sometimes

635
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 3: don't give Adam affirmations because you're whatever your yourtional things are.

636
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 3: Can you affirm Adam some things that you love about him,

637
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 3: his physical his physical appearance.

638
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: Please go ahead. Would like me to end up my shirt.

639
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: I would like you to say, that's gonna be the

640
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: first one take it off. Sometimes he gets out of

641
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 2: the shower in the morning, well usually I'm up in

642
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 2: the morning before him. Because I have to take our

643
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 2: daughter to her school's fucking far away. So but when

644
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 2: he does get up and shower before I do, and

645
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 2: he gets out and he has his shirt off and

646
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: he's in his little you know what do they call

647
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 2: the boy? Oh my god, he walks by me, I'm like,

648
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: fucking damn. But I'm also like, I wish I could

649
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: like walk out my broad underwear and be like that.

650
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: But i do think, like when you walk by me

651
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 2: in the morning and you're in your like you know,

652
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: just short off or whatever, I'm like, goddamn, like for sure.

653
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 2: And always when he walks in after coming home from work,

654
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 2: maybe it's because I'm so happy to see him or whatever.

655
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: Are you We won't get into that kid keep going compliment.

656
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 2: I'm tired.

657
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:02,479
Speaker 4: I'm tired.

658
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 2: But so basically you have to walk down sort of

659
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 2: a hallway to get to the family room, where I'm

660
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: usually like laying down under a blank.

661
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 6: And I'm always like like, that's my fucking husband, Like

662
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 6: holy shit, you know, like I'm like every single day,

663
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 6: you know, like I missed him so much when he's

664
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 6: gone during the day, like our business is in the

665
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 6: sense that like when he's you know, there's a lot

666
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 6: of times where he'll take off from his actual work

667
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 6: job and we you know, we do work.

668
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 2: At home and stuff like that, and on those days,

669
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't ever want him to go back.

670
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: You know. It reminds me of like I went to

671
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 2: NYU here in the city and he would come every

672
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 2: weekend to visit me or during the week or whatever,

673
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 2: and on Sundays I would cry my eyes out when

674
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: he went back home. And I still have that same feeling. Granted,

675
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 2: there were a good ten years in there where I

676
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: was like, I don't fuck it, I don't no, like no, like,

677
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: let's you know, there was definitely.

678
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: Ten years three right, beautiful.

679
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: Right, let's average it five years like inner first, not

680
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 2: chronological like here and there where I was like, but

681
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 2: now where our relationship is is like when he walks in,

682
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's my husband and I love him so much,

683
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 2: you know. But but yeah, so those those types of

684
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 2: things where I just I mean, he needs new jeans

685
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: and stuff, like we need to go shopping. These are

686
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 2: They're awful, these horrible?

687
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: These are great.

688
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: You have like a cameltone vagina.

689
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 3: That's how I like them.

690
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: We're going shopping.

691
00:32:54,560 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 5: Jeans are out shout out for the women and men.

692
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 2: Okay, Land, Yes, I And you know, when he's on

693
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: top of me and I feel him and stuff, I'm like,

694
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 2: my I fucking love him. But you know, it's all

695
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 2: comes with the opposite of I hope he's feeling.

696
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 4: The same way.

697
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 2: It's hard to do, yeah, So you know, it all

698
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: comes with a you know, being told, like like I

699
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: said on our social media and stuff. Look, they're thousands

700
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 2: and thousands of people in our audience to our team

701
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: Danielle right, who are like, not that I want to

702
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: do teams against each other or whatever, who have listened

703
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: to our episodes and are like, my god, you're so

704
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 2: beautiful this and that, and I hope he knows and

705
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 2: if he doesn't want you all, have you with this

706
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 2: and that. You know, like our audience is fantastic and amazing,

707
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 2: But there's also always that part of you, you know,

708
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 2: like like, there's this a woman the other day I

709
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 2: posted a picture and like up side by side of

710
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 2: me like when I was younger now, and she's like,

711
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 2: I liked you so much better when like you look

712
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 2: so good when you eyebrows, And I'm like, do I

713
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: not wrong? I'm like, Okay, I that wasn't even on

714
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: my radio. Yeah, so you know, so it's it's hard,

715
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,479
Speaker 2: but you know, but I do think that there's something

716
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 2: to be said for like the fact that we have

717
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 2: that conversation that we had in that in that episode,

718
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 2: as much as it's still work in progress for sure,

719
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: and I think it'll always be a work in progress

720
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,879
Speaker 2: for me. Changed everything. And you know, that's like why

721
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: we wrote the Date Night Questions book is because people

722
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: always say to us, like, how do you get to

723
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: this point or whatever, and we're like, here are the

724
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 2: questions we asked each other, Here's the conversation you need

725
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 2: to have. And I would say ninety five percent of

726
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 2: couples never have these conversations, right.

727
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Like, nor would we have if we hadn't started this,

728
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: right like, we would never have had these discussions or

729
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 1: talked about all of this stuff with that.

730
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 2: Right Yeah, and at the beginning of our relationship. Honestly,

731
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 2: he probably it probably would have been problematic for him

732
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,280
Speaker 2: if I was forty pounds more, right, Like, He's changed

733
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 2: as the humans ina with He's evolved as a human.

734
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 2: So you know, so the thing is that I started as.

735
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: A neanderthal, and then I grew to like you know.

736
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, right right right, So you know, so people also

737
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 2: need to understand that just as in any relationship or

738
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: your own you know, like you guys said, you're not

739
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 2: the same people you were five years ago when you

740
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 2: came on our podcast, We're not the same people we

741
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 2: were five years ago in our relationship. So that check in,

742
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 2: you know that that Okay, maybe what he thought twenty

743
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 2: years ago or fifteen years ago or ten years ago

744
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 2: isn't the same thing that and I'm still basing it

745
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: on thinking he's the same.

746
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 5: Person was holding you to this unrealistic body standard that

747
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 5: he doesn't even he's not even considering anymore.

748
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 3: Even the person that he was but that he's no

749
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 3: longer is not giving him credit for the growth and

750
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,439
Speaker 3: the evolution that he's done.

751
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 2: And that's it's so important to ask each other these questions,

752
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 2: because you know, I like the person he is now

753
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 2: so much more than the person who I'm married.

754
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 5: You know, I want to ask Adam to do the

755
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 5: same what I want. I would I would like she

756
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 5: gave you some affirmation.

757
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 2: Take my top off.

758
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 4: If I share it, we can blow.

759
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 2: Them out, all right?

760
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: For me? Please be specific. What's the question?

761
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 5: Well, I would like just as she gave you some

762
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 5: positive affirmations about yourself, what are some positive affirmations that

763
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 5: you can give?

764
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 3: Okay, can I recall hold on, we're recording a podcast.

765
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 6: It's going to be.

766
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: Just as he was, Just as she was saying, by

767
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: the way, with taking her top off, because that's what

768
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: it should happen for us all to understand what I'm

769
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: talking about. The boobs transformation from beginning to now is

770
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 1: the most incredible transformation of boobs I've ever seen it.

771
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,879
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, gain forty pounds in you can't find

772
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: whatever it is. It worked, But the.

773
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: Confidence that she's found in herself who she is today

774
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: is so much more attractive than who she was twenty

775
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: years ago, when she was I don't know how many

776
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: pounds skinner. I'm not gonna ask, and I'm not even

777
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: gonna get involved with that, but the confidence is so

778
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: much more attractive, and the boobs are too, that all

779
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: of that being together makes her so much more attractive

780
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: to me now than who she was, whether it was skinnier,

781
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: whether it was she was less confident, better eyebrows, she

782
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 1: had eyebrows.

783
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 2: But.

784
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: It's it's all about how she feels about herself that

785
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: makes it so much more.

786
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

787
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: So I love physical attraction. Of course, who doesn't. She

788
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: has it, but now that she thinks she has it,

789
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: that makes it that much more attractive to me.

790
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 5: So do you think that that is something that most

791
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 5: that women need to understand? Do you think that that

792
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 5: is like kind of the key that women miss out

793
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,280
Speaker 5: on when with their partners?

794
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:10,800
Speaker 1: And yes?

795
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 4: In general?

796
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: Now, look are there people out there that are just

797
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: there for physical attraction and whatever they want it to

798
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: be is what? Do they want Skinny women? Yes? Do

799
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: they want heavy women? Yes, Like everybody wants a certain

800
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: thing and that's okay. But I think for the most part,

801
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: I would think they're thinking the way that I'm thinking. Right,

802
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: If they're confident in themselves the way they are, that's

803
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 1: so much more attractive than just the physical aspect of

804
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: what attraction is.

805
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 3: I feel like your confidence gives your physical appearance like

806
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 3: a boost. Yes, it's not. It translates to physically physically,

807
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

808
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 5: It's like even if you almost embody exactly what it

809
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 5: is that you feel that you that you that you

810
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 5: are aspiring to have Yeah, when you.

811
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: Carry yourself in the way that you are, in the

812
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: way that you feel.

813
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,439
Speaker 2: People see that.

814
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 3: People see that projection versus people seeing something. But whatever,

815
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 3: Like if you're insecure about this, insecure about that. And

816
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 3: like even for Eric and I, like we have totally

817
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 3: different body types. You know, we're both beautiful women, but

818
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: we have we're totally we are We're totally different women,

819
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,439
Speaker 3: you know, like short hair, big hair, like light skin,

820
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 3: brown skin like thick skinny, big boobs, little boobs, Like

821
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 3: we are totally different women. And I think you know,

822
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 3: and we come from totally different places and not like

823
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 3: like geographically, but like I think there are Like even

824
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 3: in this relationship that's not marriage, it's required that we

825
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 3: be secure in ourselves because it's easy for some like

826
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 3: someone to say one thing about her or me and

827
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh shit, like by the weaklink, cute one.

828
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 4: Like the thing.

829
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: Is that you know, ironically what you just said. Like

830
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: as different as you both are, I feel exactly the

831
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: same about both of you. I have the same interpretation

832
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: of both of you. Like the attractiveness of both of

833
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,320
Speaker 1: you is the same because.

834
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 2: They're both powerful.

835
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: Because yes, you're both powerful women. You're both extremely different,

836
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: but you're comfortable with who you are. So that's just

837
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 1: like a hotness like scale for me. That's just on

838
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: level for this, exactly the same for both.

839
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry, no, keep going. No, I was just

840
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 2: going to say, you know, I'm raising two boys, right,

841
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 2: so it's.

842
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 1: Me too, by the way, just putting that out.

843
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 4: Sorry, you're there, right, Yeah.

844
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I'm there too sometimes.

845
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 2: Right, So I am very I'm always very cognizant of

846
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 2: the fact that I'm raising two boys, right, I'm raising

847
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 2: two boys with humans of the world who I want

848
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 2: to be very good male humans and be very respectful

849
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 2: of women everything, and and and and so a little

850
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 2: bit as much as Adam said what he just said,

851
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: and I haven't heard him ever say that before, I

852
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: would encourage him to say that in front of our

853
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 2: boys and number one and our daughter, you know.

854
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 4: Because the things he's spoken to you.

855
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm saying right when he just said before. And

856
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: I'm grateful to both of you for saying that to him,

857
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: because you know, not a lot of times come up

858
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 2: where you say that to your partner.

859
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: Well, just so you know, I never even told you,

860
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: not never this happened yesterday, so I didn't have a

861
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: chance to tell you this. I was taking our middle son,

862
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: who is fifteen, to the bus stop, so we had

863
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: literally two minutes before the bus came, of.

864
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 2: Course, because he's never fucking ready for the bus.

865
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: And he says to me in the car waiting for

866
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: the bus, why do hot girls like assholes?

867
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: Ah?

868
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, because he's a very sweet boy, very very emotional.

869
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 4: Speak dumb son.

870
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I had literally like thirty seconds to answer

871
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: this question, which was not fair because I have so

872
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: much to say and I didn't know what to say

873
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: within thirty seconds.

874
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 2: And I got to continue the conversation later.

875
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 1: On thousand percent. Yeah, but with having you know, thirty

876
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 1: seconds to talk and my mind going you know, millionize

877
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: a second, I was just like, well, why do you

878
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: like the hot girls? What is it about what makes

879
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: them hot? That makes them hot?

880
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 2: Right?

881
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: You don't have and then the bus came.

882
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So here's the thing. So I when my so,

883
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 2: my my son, my fifteen year old son, my eleven

884
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 2: year old son is not there yet. He doesn't even

885
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 2: give fut girls. Who knows if we ever will. But

886
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: our fifteen year old son is very very into girls. Yeah,

887
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 2: I mean he is like very into girls. So, and

888
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 2: you know my daughter who has you know, friends and stuff,

889
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 2: or who will have crushes on girls because she's you know,

890
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 2: a lesbian. My my fifteen year old son will be like, oh,

891
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 2: is she hot? That's always his question is is she hot?

892
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 2: So I am notorious in Ian's with his friends of

893
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: I have a rule. I don't ever say they're not

894
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 2: allowed to listen to any kind of music or anything,

895
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 2: but I will push that fucking button and turn it

896
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 2: off and be like, why do we never say this

897
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 2: in real life? Why do we never? Why is this

898
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 2: never you know.

899
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 4: Realistic right?

900
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 2: Why are we never allowed to disrespect and like this?

901
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 2: Why are you not allowed to say that word? Why

902
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: are you So I'm notorious in the fact that, like

903
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 2: his friends know, like I don't really want to take

904
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: a long car ride with your mom.

905
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 4: You're in real time checking the fuck I'm in.

906
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,479
Speaker 2: Real time checking. So a lot of parents have a rule,

907
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: You're not allowed to listen to this kind of music.

908
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 2: That's not my rule. My rule is I am I am.

909
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: I am allowed to push that fucking button anytime and

910
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 2: be like, which makes.

911
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 4: Gonyeah.

912
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 2: They don't ever want me to drive them anywhere.

913
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 3: It's a podcaster, right.

914
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: So, so my my son, my fifteen year old son,

915
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 2: who actually is a really good looking boy, he really is,

916
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: and and you know, and we'll probably have a lot

917
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 2: of relationships or whatever. He'll often say like is she hot? So,

918
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 2: you know, recently I started to I said, okay, let's stop.

919
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 3: What does that mean?

920
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: What does that mean? What does that mean to you?

921
00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: Is she hot? Are you talking about physical are you

922
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: talking about confidence? Because let me tell you right now,

923
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: if you're talking about physical features, we have a lot

924
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: of talking to do.

925
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: Well, you know, as a fifteen year old boy, that's

926
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 1: what it means. She is like hot physically?

927
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 2: Okay, But I want him to understand this.

928
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 5: Where has he adopted his definition of hot? Like that's right,

929
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 5: what was the prototype?

930
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 2: Mee?

931
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,959
Speaker 4: What was the girl? Who is the girl?

932
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 2: Is it?

933
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: So?

934
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, So he has a girl who he has had

935
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 2: a huge crush on since the beginning of the year,

936
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 2: beautiful girl, you know whatever. She doesn't like him back,

937
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,959
Speaker 2: and and you know, and she's he's wasted a lot

938
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 2: of time really liking her and everything. And she's very

939
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 2: pretty and everything. She's very pretty, but I want him

940
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 2: to understand that, you know, the confidence, the the you know.

941
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 2: I want him to have somebody who like he is

942
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 2: a huge lover of animals. He's a huge lover of music.

943
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 2: He's a huge lover of Okay, does she even like

944
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 2: the same music if? Does she have the same appreciation

945
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 2: Does she have the same appreciation of appreciation of rescuing

946
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 2: animals that you do? Does she have like I do

947
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: not want to put a boy out into the world

948
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,399
Speaker 2: who is going to assess a woman? And you think

949
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 2: about social media? Right Facebook? Facebook was founded on assessing women.

950
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 2: Mark Zuckerberg and his you know entourage founded Facebook on.

951
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 1: As a college kid.

952
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 2: But does this make it okay?

953
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's okay, but there's a progression. Now

954
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 1: I can just speak to myself as.

955
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 2: Telling them not to do it. Who's there? Well, no,

956
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 2: I just totally disagree.

957
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: I think as a progression of a boy turning into

958
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: a man. At some point, you're not there at college because.

959
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 2: No one's telling you to be there. Had I never

960
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: told you to be there, you would never be there.

961
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 2: What Had I never told you that this is not

962
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 2: okay to be way to be about judging women, then

963
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 2: you would never be there. Someone has to be there

964
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 2: to tell them this is not the way to do it.

965
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: And a lot of times, no, I think it's okay.

966
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 4: I think I think it's a special case.

967
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 5: I think no, Mark Zuckerberg didn't know he was going

968
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 5: to be fucking Facebook, and he was just like a smart, genius.

969
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 6: Little girl, like anybody.

970
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,760
Speaker 2: But should anybody, and then it kind of happened.

971
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: Listen. I think there's girls who are the same. I

972
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 1: think there's boys who are the same in that retrospect, right.

973
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,439
Speaker 2: But this is my boy. I think that I think

974
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 2: this is my boy.

975
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,720
Speaker 3: I think that what Danielle is trying to say is that, granted,

976
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 3: teenage boys are definitely looking for the hot women and

977
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: what they're primarily attracted to, because that's what it means

978
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 3: when hormones are raging. Hence the same thing for women.

979
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 3: I was a raging hormone teenager. However, I think what

980
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 3: she's saying is that, especially if she feels like her

981
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:01,919
Speaker 3: was sponsibility as a woman as right as the mom,

982
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 3: especially knowing how how delayed that realization can be from

983
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 3: her own experience and just from living in society, is that.

984
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,279
Speaker 4: She wants her son to know for.

985
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 2: Yes, let me plant these seas. I have a huge responsibility.

986
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 2: What what why? What are your value is?

987
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: Which is which is when I had thirty seconds to

988
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: respond to yesterday morning.

989
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 2: But yet, Step, you're not in the car with him

990
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 2: nearly as much as I am. I get that. I'm

991
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 2: not blaming you. I'm just saying that I need to

992
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 2: utilize that time as being like, Okay, I don't want

993
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 2: to be the mom who's like, let's listen to a

994
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 2: clean version. Okay.

995
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: I think it's more important for me to have the

996
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 1: responsibility than you because I spent the time, well it

997
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: started yesterday for thirty seconds, which I've learned something by

998
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,359
Speaker 1: him asking me for the first time, which I can

999
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: now think about and make time to talk to him

1000
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,439
Speaker 1: about what took me from that point to the point

1001
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: that I'm at now.

1002
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 2: But don't you want to don't you want to tell

1003
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 2: him to be at the point you're at now sooner

1004
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 2: than he is going to think he needs to.

1005
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,959
Speaker 1: Figure things out on his own. I think that's healthy.

1006
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,720
Speaker 4: I don't agree, and.

1007
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: With knowing some things along.

1008
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 5: The way, I'm gonna say you guys are obviously way

1009
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 5: more experienced parents than I am way far ahead. But

1010
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 5: as I'm listening to you, guys, and I'm thinking about

1011
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 5: myself as your son's age, which is like you know,

1012
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 5: probably about twenty years ago, thinking about if my mom

1013
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 5: came to me and said these things to me, would

1014
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 5: I listen if my mom if like, it's important that

1015
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 5: he gets said, it's important that they get said.

1016
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 4: And this is this is the mother's fear.

1017
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 2: I feel you.

1018
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 6: I do because as a mom, like I'm putting me

1019
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 6: out into the world, there's a mama bear mentality, especially

1020
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 6: as a mom of a boy, where you're like, I

1021
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 6: as my duty as a woman to send you out here,

1022
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 6: because you're going to be out here fucking women. Not

1023
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 6: for lack of a better just say I like having sex.

1024
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 6: I mean like sucking them, fucking them over right, if you.

1025
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: Encountered ultimate ultimately, and they'll get fucked up even more as.

1026
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 4: But ultimately, guys, free will. They're gonna do what the

1027
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 4: fuck they want.

1028
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 5: But all we can do is say it a hundred

1029
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 5: times and hopefully some part of it sticks might be

1030
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 5: the whole.

1031
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 2: Thing in a better situation, if we say it, then

1032
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:29,240
Speaker 2: we don't. We have to say it right. The conversation

1033
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: could say it.

1034
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 5: But like, each of your roles are so fucking crucial

1035
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 5: because he wants to know from his dad who maybe

1036
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 5: you were the hot dad, You were the hot he wore,

1037
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 5: were the hot you were the hot kid, You were

1038
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 5: the hot guy. So your son is asking you, why

1039
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 5: do fucking girls like the hot guy?

1040
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 4: Dad? Can you give me some advice?

1041
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 5: And you're as a dad to have this responsibility to

1042
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:53,800
Speaker 5: give him thirty seconds of advice that's going to impact

1043
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 5: his life forever, hopefully, and then we'll have another conversation

1044
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 5: that bitch.

1045
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 4: Is not going to be to me only, but.

1046
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 2: God, damn, you're so hot and I'm his mom, then

1047
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 2: maybe my son will be like, oh that's hot, like and.

1048
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 4: Experience.

1049
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: No, but no, that's not what I do think.

1050
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 3: No, I really, really really do think that it is

1051
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 3: important Adam and Danielle that even if you're starting now

1052
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 3: and your parents like, what the fuck I think that happened?

1053
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: Sorry?

1054
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 3: Now, I think it's super important that you guys praise

1055
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 3: each other out loud and be affectionate out loud. I

1056
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 3: think you should smack her ass. I think you should

1057
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 3: kiss her. I think you say, damn, you look good.

1058
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 3: Today and even even for them to be like shut

1059
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 3: the fuck up or whatever they say. I think that

1060
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,280
Speaker 3: is super, super super important.

1061
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: And we do that. Our kids are constantly saying, oh,

1062
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: that's gross.

1063
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 2: We don't compliment each other, understand.

1064
00:50:56,320 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 1: Now nobody, but but if we're either snuggling on the

1065
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 1: couch or a kiss or a hug or whatever, it's like,

1066
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: why do you guys love each other so much? Or

1067
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: why do you like there's a constant did it work out?

1068
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 1: If you ask our children do your parents love each other?

1069
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 1: They would say one hundred percent, yes, yeah, h do

1070
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: they do? They love each other.

1071
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 4: But that an accomplishment.

1072
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: But that is an accomplishment. And I know, I'm so

1073
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 3: happy you guys are here. Like especially this month is

1074
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 3: like we are we put this book out. This book

1075
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 3: has a lot. This book is like literally broke up

1076
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 3: in three parts. It's like before children, after Daddy and

1077
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 3: the revelation, right and like one of our one of

1078
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 3: my fears for us as a brand, and like not

1079
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 3: my fears not go fuck, but like I didn't want

1080
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 3: people to think that we were like a man hating

1081
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 3: like baby Daddy hating, like anti relationship duo, you know,

1082
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 3: and like I think you know, black women specifically and

1083
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 3: women in general get that title because it's like we're

1084
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 3: too independent or we don't need it. And it's like,

1085
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 3: let me be clear, these two bitches want to be

1086
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: cared for.

1087
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 2: You your wives right right. We your wives to each other.

1088
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 3: I cook for her, We care for each other like

1089
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 3: we ribe each other's head if a bitch has a headache,

1090
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 3: like we are soft women. And I'm really I'm really

1091
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 3: glad to like have you guys back in this moment,

1092
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 3: just because I really want to make it clear that this,

1093
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 3: like this book is for even women who are married

1094
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 3: and like that you have different stages in your relationship

1095
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 3: and it's not like it's not about like having a

1096
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 3: problem letting somebody go and it's but it really is

1097
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: about and the whole really book is about. It's like,

1098
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 3: not only did I have a kid with somebody, but

1099
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 3: I was so committed to being loved publicly in front

1100
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 3: of my child in a certain way that if the

1101
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 3: person that I gave birth to with for you the

1102
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 3: products that are like you're the product of these two people,

1103
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 3: and if if it didn't look like this, then it

1104
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 3: had to be done, like it had to be dead,

1105
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 3: but that this is the love that I would like

1106
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 3: my child to see, because this is the love that

1107
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 3: I would like you to subscribe to you as you

1108
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 3: are on your journey. And you know, a woman could

1109
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 3: be hot and the guy could be It doesn't matter

1110
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 3: who it is. If it's a woman, if it's a male,

1111
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 3: if they're hot, but just understanding at its core that like,

1112
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 3: people are not always going to be hot. I'm not

1113
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 3: always pretty, all right, you know what I'm saying.

1114
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 2: And yeah, and your personalit's getting change too, but also.

1115
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:33,720
Speaker 5: The passion behind you guys both care so deeply about

1116
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 5: how this situation manifests through your son.

1117
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that is the gift of the marriage too,

1118
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 4: is that you have a position about it.

1119
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 5: Some people it's like figure it out, okay, whatever, Yeah,

1120
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 5: there's only one Like, what a blessing that your son

1121
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 5: has both people that you care so fucking much and

1122
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 5: you care too, but you're also like you have different

1123
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,439
Speaker 5: perspectives but ultimately the same goal.

1124
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, ultimately outcome and that's all that's always kind of

1125
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 6: it's a different path.

1126
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,439
Speaker 4: That is literally like, yeah, the journey of man and woman.

1127
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 5: It's like I think we all do generally want the

1128
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,360
Speaker 5: same outcome, which is love, which is support, which is acceptance,

1129
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 5: which is safety. But the journey there often looks so

1130
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 5: fucking different that it seems like crazy. Sometimes you're like,

1131
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 5: I don't fucking know you well are you?

1132
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 2: Also? One of the amazing things about Adam I have

1133
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 2: to say as a man as a man, is that

1134
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 2: we have three extremely different children. I mean when I

1135
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 2: say extremely different children, like you know, extremely different, like

1136
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 2: I don't even know how something fucking happened with the

1137
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 2: sperms and the or whatever. They're all amazing. But we

1138
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,800
Speaker 2: have honored each of them in their own way and

1139
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 2: and very much been like this is their needs and

1140
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 2: and Adam as a man has never ever been like

1141
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: I need my boy to be you like this masculine whatever,

1142
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 2: like he has very much.

1143
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 1: They've all taken after me. Why would I not nourish

1144
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 1: each child in the well, No, that was true. I

1145
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: mean me as a lesbian like me not I you know,

1146
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 1: into music, right, he.

1147
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 2: Has your you're all me okay, but but we have

1148
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 2: from we were on the gamut of you know, being

1149
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 2: Mia being obviously like a huge activist and whatever, and

1150
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 2: Ian being his like you know, masculine metrosexual self and Jonah,

1151
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 2: we have a college fund for him. That's all. I get.

1152
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 4: Sad.

1153
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 2: But but but but I think if you relinquished that

1154
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 2: like what it's supposed to be, right, Like like when

1155
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,400
Speaker 2: I you know, when when Mia came out to Adam,

1156
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 2: it was like the most beautiful thing, it really was.

1157
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 4: It was like the most she was.

1158
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 2: There was no nerves, there was know, like when she

1159
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 2: said to him, like, you know, I knew forever that

1160
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 2: she was lesbian, and when she came out to him,

1161
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 2: there was no like although I know he thinks to

1162
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 2: himself like, oh, you know, I wanted to walk her

1163
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 2: down the and she still won't be able to walk

1164
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 2: her down the aisle and whatever. But but to give

1165
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 2: the kids that gift of you know, whatever you are,

1166
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,319
Speaker 2: you are And that is really what he has done

1167
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 2: as a man like he is really and that and

1168
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 2: we talked about physical things. That is the sexiest thing

1169
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 2: about him is that were there our three kids. He

1170
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 2: has done I'm gonna cry too, yeah important, yeah, and

1171
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 2: we've yeah, yeah, that's right. And I try.

1172
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 1: Look, I try to be like I've been through a

1173
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 1: lot of shit myself, right, Like I've been there, I've

1174
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 1: experienced all the different things, and I I understand there's

1175
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: different all the different things that my kids could be,

1176
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: right and except of whatever they're going, we weren't.

1177
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 2: It was very much accepted by our parents for who

1178
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 2: we were. Yeah, I am now you are now by

1179
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: my parents. What we're more accepted now because for what Well,

1180
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 2: because we're for my parents. Our podcast is successful, so

1181
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 2: it's acceptable now. No, they were very they were, they

1182
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 2: were in it from the beginning. But yeah, but I

1183
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 2: think that you know, there's a worthiness that that happened.

1184
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, that makes sense.

1185
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, for your parents too. Yeah, we're still working on it.

1186
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 1: We're still working on it.

1187
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yeah, so, I you know, I I

1188
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: feel like that was a really big deal. You know,

1189
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 2: when when you decide to have kids together, you talk

1190
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 2: a lot about the toddler years and everything, and you

1191
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 2: know who's going to get up in the middle of

1192
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 2: the night and this and that, and there's this whole

1193
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 2: more important aspect missing, right, which is what kind of

1194
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: humans are we going to raise? And I think that's

1195
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:06,200
Speaker 2: what Adam and I have concentrated on. Maybe not from

1196
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 2: the beginning, no at all.

1197
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: Right, Right, that's evolved, right, that's evolved, and.

1198
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 2: It's very much been like what kind of humans we

1199
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 2: want to put out into the world. And we have

1200
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 2: raised advocates, we've raised you know, like allies. We have

1201
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 2: raised really really good human beings. I'm very proud of

1202
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 2: the humans we've raised, and that's been really our number

1203
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 2: one priority together and you know, so that to me

1204
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 2: is the partnership of parenthood, right, like we have done.

1205
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of the humans that we have raised.

1206
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 2: I really am. And you know, and when I say, like,

1207
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 2: I stop and I ask them about the music and

1208
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 2: everything like that, like a lot of it is you

1209
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 2: know a little bit like you know, a lot of

1210
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 2: parents that I know don't allow certain music in their homes,

1211
00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 2: don't allow certain movies or and we've never been those people.

1212
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 2: We're always like like we love you know, like raunchy

1213
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 2: this and raunchy that or whatever. But the conversation that

1214
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 2: surrounds it is what is important, right Like, Okay, this

1215
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 2: is great, this is fun, this is great music. You know,

1216
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 2: why are we why are we not taking it literally?

1217
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 2: Why are we not saying this or that? And I

1218
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 2: think together we've been a really good team with that.

1219
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 2: So you know, so that has really been like I

1220
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,160
Speaker 2: feel like, as much as I feel like I love

1221
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 2: our podcast so much and everything, and I think we're

1222
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 2: teaching a lot of parents about how to do things

1223
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 2: your own way, I feel like as parents, I think

1224
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 2: raising our kids has sort of been like our a

1225
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 2: gift to the world. Like I think we're really raising

1226
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 2: good humans.

1227
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 5: I'm like, watching you guys is really inspirational to me

1228
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 5: because I don't think I have a lot of examples

1229
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 5: of successful marriages in my.

1230
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:58,920
Speaker 4: Life, and like I don't. I don't even mean I'm

1231
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 4: not even talking about my imediate friend.

1232
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:03,920
Speaker 5: I mean as like even like my parents, like grandparents,

1233
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 5: everyone that I know that is close to me has

1234
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 5: been ended up in divorce, right, And so like seeing

1235
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 5: a relationship work through these things, your children being essentially

1236
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 5: expressions of your relationship in ways, and like this this

1237
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 5: soul shifting project that you guys get to work on

1238
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 5: together to you know, conspire and create. And granted they have,

1239
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 5: like we side, free will and they're going to be

1240
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 5: who the fuck they are, but they these these things

1241
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 5: that come from us, that sprout from goals, and they

1242
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 5: are like these gifts we get to leave along the way,

1243
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 5: as are we of you know the people before us,

1244
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:41,640
Speaker 5: and you know the mothers and fathers before us. But

1245
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 5: it's like this project that you guys get to work

1246
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:47,919
Speaker 5: on this lifetime and life is short, and you guys

1247
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 5: get to do this thing together, and you know, and

1248
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 5: figuring out what is it that we like, what is

1249
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 5: that we want to do together, How do we want

1250
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 5: to spend our time, how do we want to raise

1251
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 5: our kids?

1252
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 4: What is the goal? You know, it's not always going

1253
01:00:58,560 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 4: to be perfect. We're not always going to agree with

1254
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 4: what is the goal?

1255
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, we never knew what our goal was until

1256
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 1: we realize what our goal was, which is to put

1257
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 1: good people onto this planet, which is our children, and

1258
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: how to do it properly. And look, we can only

1259
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 1: do what we can do. We can do everything that

1260
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 1: we think is the right thing to do, and then

1261
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: they're out there on their own.

1262
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1263
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 3: I always say that my motherhood is the best job

1264
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 3: because I can create one less asshole in the world.

1265
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 2: Right, I feel that very much.

1266
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like we are putting some assholes out

1267
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 1: into the world to us, but not of course.

1268
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 3: And also I want you to encourage you guys and

1269
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 3: remind you guys to the same grace and space and

1270
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 3: save space and affirmative love that you give your children,

1271
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 3: that you offer to yourselves and to each other, because

1272
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 3: sometimes it's like we limitlessly love our kids unconditionally. We

1273
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 3: give them free rein to express and say and fall

1274
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 3: down and get up and get up and get up,

1275
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 3: and we give them the words.

1276
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 4: And ask these questions like why do I consider that hot?

1277
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 4: Why do you consider that?

1278
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 2: Ask yourself please please? And kids music off and be

1279
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 2: like why what is this? But I mean saying no, no,

1280
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 2: we're not allowed to listen, but.

1281
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 5: Even asking ourselves as adults those exact questions, right right,

1282
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 5: like why do I what do I consider hot?

1283
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 4: Why do I feel like my body isn't enough? What

1284
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 4: are these questions?

1285
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 1: Like?

1286
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 4: Just like your son is asking like is she hot? Yes,

1287
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 4: you're asking yourself like am I fat? What does that mean?

1288
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: Right?

1289
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 2: Am I hot? What does that mean? This is my journey?

1290
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 3: And I'm hot because I'm I'm raising three kids.

1291
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm getting a business.

1292
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 3: I've built a business, right you know, because I told

1293
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 3: my husband to jump on board and I saved our

1294
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 3: marriage because I was willing to be vulnerable.

1295
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:47,640
Speaker 4: That's right.

1296
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: And stuff means nothing to a fifteen year old. But

1297
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like to try to pass along iur journey

1298
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 1: and what we think is hot. Now, how do you

1299
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: relate that to a teenager?

1300
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 3: Well, we're more also saying like whatever part of ourselves

1301
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 3: and from each other our kids.

1302
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think also, you know, not blaming

1303
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 2: Adam and not blaming me, but the fact that like

1304
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,840
Speaker 2: we could both do a much better job of affirming

1305
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: each other in front of our kids. I think we

1306
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 2: can both and you fucking too, but I think we

1307
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 2: could both do a much better job of that, And

1308
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 2: especially as our bodies change and we age and everything,

1309
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 2: the more you know, we show our kids, that all

1310
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 2: of our kids that you know that that you're not

1311
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 2: just doing it for your partner, which should be enough anyway,

1312
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 2: but you're doing it in the sense of like changing

1313
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 2: bodies and changing humans is a natural progression and it

1314
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 2: is thing beautiful and it means that we're still here

1315
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 2: and we've served worry.

1316
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:57,760
Speaker 4: About We all just have to worry about that, right concept.

1317
01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 2: Right, and those affirmations like would change.

1318
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:02,840
Speaker 5: I always show up physically on this world, and that's

1319
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 5: sort of just existing and enjoying the short time we

1320
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 5: have here.

1321
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 4: That's right.

1322
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,240
Speaker 5: Well, that leads me to today's affirmation. You guys, I

1323
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 5: just thumbed through our book, A Good Mom's Guide to

1324
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 5: Making Bad Choices, which is available everywhere, and you should

1325
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 5: have it. You don't have it, go get it right

1326
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 5: the fuck now. And we have affirmations in every chapter.

1327
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 5: Mela shares one. I share one, just so you know.

1328
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:27,680
Speaker 5: In each chapter it's each of our voices really walking

1329
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 5: you through where we're at in this particular part of

1330
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 5: our journey. I think this is just that, oh we

1331
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 5: have this is my affirmation, and this isn't the chapter.

1332
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:41,200
Speaker 5: Fuck I'm expecting, and I'm gonna just breed you just

1333
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 5: the brief description of what the chapters about, because we

1334
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 5: haven't really done that, so fuck I'm expecting. Pregnancy can

1335
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 5: be triggering, beautiful, and isolating confusing right The shifts in

1336
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 5: your body, identity, and friendships can feel overwhelming. On the

1337
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 5: other hand, the life growing inside of you plant seeds

1338
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 5: of self advocacy and intuition that you may not have

1339
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 5: experienced before. Pregnancy is a very real understanding that nothing

1340
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 5: will ever be the same again. Affirmation so true. My

1341
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:13,880
Speaker 5: body has been given the incredible gift to be a

1342
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 5: vessel for life. I joyfully accept the challenges and changes

1343
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 5: that come with this soul shifting privilege.

1344
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,200
Speaker 4: So just a reminder that, like we have this privilege.

1345
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 5: Whether you carry or not, whether you are the deliverer

1346
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:29,920
Speaker 5: or not, of like the soul shifting privilege we have

1347
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 5: with our kids, right, which is why we take it

1348
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 5: so fucking seriously.

1349
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,880
Speaker 6: It's personal as fuck, right, So there's that, And then

1350
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 6: also we are the vessels of life.

1351
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 5: You've carried four children, You've had four children, Like, I

1352
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:45,479
Speaker 5: love what you said about my body is our journey, yeah,

1353
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 5: you know, and I think that when you start really

1354
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 5: like reimagining your body in that way, it kind of

1355
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:58,640
Speaker 5: shifts how you view it and perceive it and respect

1356
01:05:58,680 --> 01:06:01,440
Speaker 5: it and deserves fucking respect.

1357
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 4: That's right, you know.

1358
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,400
Speaker 2: And our our episodes on that they were on the

1359
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 2: top fifty charts for like weeks and weeks. I think

1360
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 2: it's like episodes like two seventeen to eighteen, two nineteen.

1361
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 2: I don't know exactly, but they I mean, we've gotten

1362
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 2: more messages about those episodes than people everyone can relate

1363
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 2: to that, that's right. And I think also the fact

1364
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 2: that like we all hold on to these these ideas

1365
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 2: of what our partner thinks, and we don't release them

1366
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 2: because you know, it's not comfortable to talk about. And

1367
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 2: I hold on to them for years. I still hold

1368
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 2: on to them. I still need that that, you know,

1369
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 2: like those affirmations like you said, this for me is

1370
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,440
Speaker 2: like I'm ready to go home and have sex because

1371
01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 2: he like you.

1372
01:06:46,040 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 1: Know you much.

1373
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 4: So welcome.

1374
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 2: Seriously, Like I think that that's not something you do

1375
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,439
Speaker 2: just hear once, right, you need to hear it again

1376
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 2: and again and again.

1377
01:06:57,320 --> 01:06:59,880
Speaker 1: And it's so much easier than you think it's going

1378
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 1: to be. Like I've I said before where there has

1379
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 1: been more. Now we're saying your builders. You know, hey, listen,

1380
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:11,640
Speaker 1: you know when we go out, I feel that because

1381
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:15,800
Speaker 1: you're not and you look so beautiful. Like it's they've

1382
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,240
Speaker 1: never said that before, but they listened to our episode

1383
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:19,600
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden they were just able to

1384
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 1: say it because.

1385
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:25,800
Speaker 2: So much and it's so easy to do. And our book,

1386
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,920
Speaker 2: The Day and Night Questions also has a lot of

1387
01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 2: topics on that. We have a like a things you

1388
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 2: want your partner to know, so something you've never said

1389
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 2: to them before or they'd never said to you before

1390
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 2: and you can communicate for the first time ever without

1391
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 2: having you know, the stress of like, oh my god,

1392
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 2: what are they going to think?

1393
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 6: Like?

1394
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,320
Speaker 2: It's a very gentle way to talk about it. So

1395
01:07:47,680 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 2: we we recommend also the date night questions to do that.

1396
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 3: And speaking of date night questions, we're gonna do our

1397
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 3: tearro and they we're gonna wrap up and usually we

1398
01:07:56,840 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 3: have I forgot the deck at the hotel room because because,

1399
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,920
Speaker 3: But today's taro was ten of cups and the ten

1400
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 3: of Cups represents happiness, joy, content, and emotional satisfaction in

1401
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 3: your family, relationship, or companion. This is where all your dreams,

1402
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:18,680
Speaker 3: needs and wishes have been fulfilled and you feel a

1403
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:22,680
Speaker 3: complete sense of satisfaction. This card is most associated with

1404
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:26,120
Speaker 3: a sense of happily ever after, of family, of lasting

1405
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 3: harmony and peace and I love reading This card shows

1406
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 3: something romantic, real and genuine that has a strong potential

1407
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 3: for something that will last. It deserves all of your

1408
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 3: effort to make it come true. The ten of Cups

1409
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:43,799
Speaker 3: could also indicate a family holiday where you can relax,

1410
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:49,320
Speaker 3: the retreat and spend time with yourself. It's as family members,

1411
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:50,559
Speaker 3: but I have to switch it up.

1412
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:52,719
Speaker 4: It's not perfect, but it's happily.

1413
01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 3: It's forever and look just like a couple on two kids,

1414
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,559
Speaker 3: like looking really gleefully into the sunlight.

1415
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:01,840
Speaker 4: So I love this for you.

1416
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell the people where they can find you. We're

1417
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:09,000
Speaker 3: so happy to have you on again. We're so grateful.

1418
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:11,639
Speaker 3: We always learned so much for you from you. Damn,

1419
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 3: I'm drunk.

1420
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,560
Speaker 2: Welcome to Marriage and Martina. Marriage and Martinis.

1421
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,640
Speaker 4: The name, it's not a cute name.

1422
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,559
Speaker 2: It's podcast the Truth Serum.

1423
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:28,720
Speaker 3: Yes, they're like you can take little bottles on the

1424
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 3: airplane and trust me it works.

1425
01:09:30,320 --> 01:09:35,360
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yes, we have all the so so

1426
01:09:35,479 --> 01:09:38,639
Speaker 2: we're Marriage of Martini's on Instagram. We have a really

1427
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 2: fun Instagram account Marriage of Martinis. Or if you go

1428
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:45,320
Speaker 2: to marriage to Martinis dot com you can get our

1429
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: dat night questions. Also our famous like world famous now

1430
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 2: body image episodes. We also have a guide to that

1431
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 2: which is called let Yourself Go. If you want to

1432
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:59,080
Speaker 2: go and purchase that and have a little like, you know,

1433
01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 2: time with yourself for your partner or whatever and talk about,

1434
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:05,479
Speaker 2: you know, how you're feeling about your body image and

1435
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:06,879
Speaker 2: your journey and everything.

1436
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:11,920
Speaker 1: And she was just asking me where that.

1437
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:18,679
Speaker 4: Existed business. You're gonna be a page.

1438
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,759
Speaker 2: I was going through my journey.

1439
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:25,519
Speaker 1: I'm sold.

1440
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,439
Speaker 2: When I was going through my journey of my body

1441
01:10:29,479 --> 01:10:32,880
Speaker 2: image thing, I I wrote this journal and I wrote

1442
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,719
Speaker 2: questions for people, and you know a lot of people

1443
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:38,720
Speaker 2: feel the same way that I do. That. Look, you know,

1444
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 2: regardless of your size or whatever, we're all going through

1445
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:46,000
Speaker 2: some kind of physical journey. And it was really about

1446
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:50,000
Speaker 2: honoring that journey and whatever it is, and understanding that

1447
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:53,120
Speaker 2: your sexiness comes from that journey. And I truly believe that.

1448
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 2: And it's to the point where I had said to

1449
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,719
Speaker 2: Adam in the episode, even if you can't honor that journey,

1450
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:00,519
Speaker 2: if you don't understand that journey, then I need to

1451
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:05,639
Speaker 2: move on. And I truly believe that because I think

1452
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:12,600
Speaker 2: you said pack your bag. But seriously, you know, I

1453
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 2: think that that is very true. You know, you, like

1454
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:17,439
Speaker 2: we're all talking about, you have one life and you have.

1455
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 4: One body, and the it is real, and that's aging

1456
01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 4: process is real. Changes happen.

1457
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:25,240
Speaker 5: You can't stop it. I don't give a fuck what

1458
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:28,560
Speaker 5: you do, what kind of doctor you have. That is

1459
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:31,160
Speaker 5: the one thing you can't You're not You're gonna die

1460
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:34,160
Speaker 5: and you will age. Those are the Those are the

1461
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:36,519
Speaker 5: two truths if you if you live this life to

1462
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:37,400
Speaker 5: the end.

1463
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:42,000
Speaker 2: And to compare our bodies and our journeys to our partners,

1464
01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:45,240
Speaker 2: you know, if they're not having children, and if they're not,

1465
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:51,160
Speaker 2: it's it's it's completely unfair. And and I have made

1466
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 2: so much peace with myself about my body to the

1467
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:55,960
Speaker 2: point where I always say, like, I stand in front

1468
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 2: of a mirror after my shower and I'm like, yeah,

1469
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:02,040
Speaker 2: you feel like you're sexy. And then I go out

1470
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:04,679
Speaker 2: into the world and I'm like, WHOA, what is everybody

1471
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:08,759
Speaker 2: else thinking? And and that is my my biggest challenge,

1472
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,360
Speaker 2: you know, is not what I think about myself, because

1473
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 2: when I'm in my room thinking about myself, it's much

1474
01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 2: different than when I go into the world. But I'm

1475
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:18,920
Speaker 2: trying to hold on to what I think about myself

1476
01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:20,760
Speaker 2: and hold on to the fact that I have a

1477
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,960
Speaker 2: husband who you know, I know appreciates our journey and

1478
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:27,519
Speaker 2: loves our journey. So we're working on it and yours.

1479
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:30,040
Speaker 3: You guys get a lot. You guys walk around like

1480
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:35,400
Speaker 3: naked at him more him, you should like walk around

1481
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:36,559
Speaker 3: the panties in the room.

1482
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,560
Speaker 2: Kids don't fit we have teenage.

1483
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:42,960
Speaker 4: And walk around underwear in front of your kids.

1484
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:44,120
Speaker 2: Have you have you.

1485
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 4: A speedo yet?

1486
01:12:46,360 --> 01:12:47,519
Speaker 1: No? Wait, start over?

1487
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:53,519
Speaker 2: But honestly, like teenagers, people are like, I want to

1488
01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:56,800
Speaker 2: do all the things. You don't realize how hard is

1489
01:12:56,880 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 2: to have a sex life with teenagers business.

1490
01:13:00,439 --> 01:13:03,679
Speaker 4: Dogs and they actually they know that, they know the signs.

1491
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, you just locked your door.

1492
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:11,320
Speaker 4: They're suspicious.

1493
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:14,360
Speaker 3: Well, they ask you if you're having sex.

1494
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 1: They're the worst cock seven living in our house besides us. Yes,

1495
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:21,280
Speaker 1: there's our house.

1496
01:13:21,479 --> 01:13:25,760
Speaker 2: Of course, when we were younger, who is that me?

1497
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:26,920
Speaker 1: And start over?

1498
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:33,559
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, so so when we were younger, yeah, okay.

1499
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 4: On that note, you will have to listen to that

1500
01:13:37,439 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 4: horror on Patreon. Should go to patre dot combat anywhere

1501
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:49,400
Speaker 4: else anything else that we need to people need to

1502
01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:49,760
Speaker 4: know that.

1503
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 2: People.

1504
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:53,080
Speaker 5: You need to go get the date Night Questions experience

1505
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 5: Tonight with Danielle's body image.

1506
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:00,760
Speaker 2: If you go on our e books. It's only in

1507
01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:02,920
Speaker 2: any book. Right now. We have a parent in Questions

1508
01:14:02,960 --> 01:14:06,080
Speaker 2: book coming out soon which is all the parents in Questions.

1509
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:07,759
Speaker 2: You should have been asked but you weren't.

1510
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:11,080
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's like our book. Literally, what the fuck.

1511
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,760
Speaker 6: No one asked, no one, No one thought about these

1512
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,680
Speaker 6: questions for us. Right, if I have the questions, I

1513
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:18,320
Speaker 6: probably still won't let them come in me.

1514
01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:23,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a very unconventional parenting way, which can

1515
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 2: be documented in all the truancy your letters we've gotten

1516
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 2: for our kids.

1517
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:29,280
Speaker 1: And you better talk about how fucking much the kids

1518
01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:30,880
Speaker 1: love us because of that in that book.

1519
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:34,719
Speaker 2: No, our kids love our podcasts. They love uh yeah, they.

1520
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:36,280
Speaker 1: Love our unconventional parenting.

1521
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:39,120
Speaker 2: Of course they do. They state not so much.

1522
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,879
Speaker 4: They're going to be amazing humans and adults.

1523
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:43,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1524
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:45,719
Speaker 2: I do believe that. I do. I really do believe

1525
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:50,799
Speaker 2: that we've already raised Our kids are already like huge

1526
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 2: like allies and advocates, and they they write postcards and

1527
01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:56,599
Speaker 2: they do all the things.

1528
01:14:57,240 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 1: All right, all right, let's go.

1529
01:14:58,640 --> 01:14:58,960
Speaker 4: We're good.

1530
01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:06,559
Speaker 2: I'm molested, she's right about her, she's too drunk.

1531
01:15:06,640 --> 01:15:09,559
Speaker 1: Let's she needs food.

1532
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:14,320
Speaker 5: You guys will leave all of the information this episode description.

1533
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:17,560
Speaker 5: Make sure you go check out marriage and Martini's on

1534
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:20,799
Speaker 5: all podcast platforms. Check out our friends Danielle and Adam.

1535
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:23,519
Speaker 5: They're the bomb or the Ship. Thank you guys for training.

1536
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,120
Speaker 4: Back on you guys, We love you.

1537
01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:28,800
Speaker 5: Make sure you go rate and review this episode. If

1538
01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 5: you're not subscribed to YouTube, go ahead, what the fuck

1539
01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:34,080
Speaker 5: are you doing? Put the subscribe watch watch us in

1540
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:37,760
Speaker 5: all of our glory here and what else?

1541
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:41,000
Speaker 3: Check out the Good Vibratory, it's coming up. If you

1542
01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:43,519
Speaker 3: haven't booked a summer vacation, now is the time you

1543
01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:44,320
Speaker 3: need to be cared for.

1544
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:46,639
Speaker 2: You need a break, And I'm going to I'm going

1545
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:47,080
Speaker 2: to Pete.

1546
01:15:48,360 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 3: We're making Daniel come. And if you haven't yet, to

1547
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:56,479
Speaker 3: Master in the Bathroom. If you haven't bought the book yet,

1548
01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 3: grab a Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices and

1549
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:00,800
Speaker 3: we love you.

1550
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:03,040
Speaker 4: We'll see you next week. Bye bye.

1551
01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:26,360
Speaker 1: Solo record

1552
01:16:28,920 --> 01:16:29,120
Speaker 6: Las