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Speaker 1: Hella, my Loves. Welcome to the bonus episode of the

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Speaker 1: Get Them a La Podcast.

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Speaker 2: T oh Hey.

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Speaker 1: So I was thinking of questions that I had for

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Speaker 1: you guys for the bonus and today's. I wanted to know, basically,

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Speaker 1: how do you, as an adult or a parent react

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Speaker 1: in an emergency type situation, whether it's evacuation, your kid

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Speaker 1: got hurt. I wanted to know it all. And I

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Speaker 1: actually got some really good responses, but also some really

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Speaker 1: funny ones. And you'd be shocked at how many people

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Speaker 1: just say, my parental intuition kicks in and I'm like okay.

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Speaker 1: So I had a lot of those, but then other

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Speaker 1: people who were like, I don't I freak. I completely freaking.

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Speaker 2: Depends on the situation it happens to you, mom babies,

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Speaker 2: I'm good, like I can be calm and go okay

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Speaker 2: A to b to see, let's get us there right.

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Speaker 2: If it happens to me, it's flustered, fetal position and

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Speaker 2: whatever happens happens.

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Speaker 1: Cause some people do short circuit. Oh that's me in

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Speaker 1: situations where you have to make.

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Speaker 2: A split decision. Yes.

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Speaker 1: So this actually took me back to I think Ocean

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Speaker 1: was probably a year and some months and we were

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Speaker 1: at the apartment still and there was so little room

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Speaker 1: between like the dresser and the bed, and I was

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Speaker 1: worried that she was going to fall off the bed

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Speaker 1: and she because she was very close to the edge.

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Speaker 1: And keep in mind, I was right there so and

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Speaker 1: she's standing, so I tell her, Ocean, you have to,

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Speaker 1: you know, move farther onto the bed. Mom was literally

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Speaker 1: sitting on the bed as well, and she looks at me,

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Speaker 1: and I think she's going to start walking from close

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Speaker 1: to where she is at the edge of the bed

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Speaker 1: to the middle of the bed and instead, and I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of like holding her hands slightly to help her,

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Speaker 1: and she looks at me and gives me like this

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Speaker 1: devious little grin and jumps to sit back. But she

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Speaker 1: was close to the edge, so when she went to

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Speaker 1: jump and fall on her bum you go backwards a little,

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Speaker 1: she was basically, you know, falling to the ground and

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Speaker 1: I tried my best to catch her, but she hit

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Speaker 1: the floor. And keep in mind, this is an apartment

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Speaker 1: with like it's basically concrete with like linoleum. There's no

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Speaker 1: cushion or anything like that. It's basically a tile floor

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Speaker 1: that's meant to look like wood. They call it these days,

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Speaker 1: to make it sound more bougie, they call it pet

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Speaker 1: friendly flooring. So she falls and hits that floor right here,

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Speaker 1: and she screams. And I'm panicking because this is the

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Speaker 1: first fall off of the bed, and you hear like

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Speaker 1: kids are gonna fall off the bed. Please make sure

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Speaker 1: to guard your stairs because that is a terrifying trap.

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Speaker 1: And I thought I was doing so well to get

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Speaker 1: her to a year and some change without having anything

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Speaker 1: horrendous happen. So I'm freaking out and trying to console

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Speaker 1: her as she screams, and all of the sudden, she

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Speaker 1: stops crying and I have her like this against me,

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Speaker 1: and I lean her back, and you guys, she's dead weight.

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Speaker 1: Her eyes are rolling into the back of her head.

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Speaker 1: I'm screaming at my mom. Call nine one one, Call

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Speaker 1: nine one one, my mother. What was maybe thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: felt like an eternity. My mom had a phone in

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Speaker 1: her hand and she didn't know what to do with it.

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Speaker 1: She completely froze, and I, for the first I cannot

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Speaker 1: believe that I handled this situation like I did. And

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Speaker 1: that's why I kind of relate to people who were saying,

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Speaker 1: you know you're your MoMA. Intuition kind of kicks in

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Speaker 1: because I took the phone from my mom. For some reason,

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Speaker 1: I remembered the past code dialed nine one one. I

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Speaker 1: was completely calm, told them the exact address, and as

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Speaker 1: she's trying to the dispatcher is trying to like cut

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Speaker 1: me off, is what I felt. I said, you have

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Speaker 1: to listen to me. There are multiple entries to my

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Speaker 1: building you must enter at this point. You must use

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Speaker 1: this code to get in, like I gave. I've never

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Speaker 1: given that precisive direction to someone who was like to

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Speaker 1: my postmates, guy, like you blacked.

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Speaker 2: Out and just everything that needed to be known you knew,

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Speaker 2: and you just said yes.

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Speaker 1: And she was saying, you know they're coming by siren,

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Speaker 1: you will hear them. And I was like, I'm at

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Speaker 1: this point, I'm like, I don't hear anything. I don't

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Speaker 1: hear anything, and I'm looking at Ocean and she's kind

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Speaker 1: of coming to and I was asking Ocean questions at

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Speaker 1: that point, how old are you? What's your name? And

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Speaker 1: I just you know, she was very young, so she

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Speaker 1: didn't have her vocabulary wasn't the same as what I

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Speaker 1: would ask now, I did end up having them take

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Speaker 1: us by ambulance to make sure that nothing was happening

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't actually see. And in that ride, she

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Speaker 1: was singing rocket Man and the guy was like, I

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Speaker 1: think she's totally fine, but I understand why you want

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Speaker 1: to take her. Uh, And that's how I responded in

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Speaker 1: that moment. But I couldn't. I truly couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 2: No, but you've done that a lot of times. I

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Speaker 2: even feel like when we were in you know, high school,

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Speaker 2: and things would happen. Dad was very good, but I

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Speaker 2: remember like things happening even in Saint George or Lake Powell. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I was younger, but like when Dad would say something,

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Speaker 2: I do remember you being the help, his help and

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Speaker 2: not freezing. And I don't know, I don't feel like

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Speaker 2: a freezer. I don't know if I've been in a

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Speaker 2: lot of things, but I am mollum. Yeah, so I

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Speaker 2: might be.

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Speaker 1: Oh, she was staring at you.

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Speaker 2: You've done it. You've done it many times before. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I think I black out. You do blackout.

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Speaker 2: It's just you. You go with just your intuition and

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Speaker 2: everything else, and you just black out and do it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, totally. This person said, I have to remind myself

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Speaker 1: I am setting an example for them, for her kids.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes that's hard though, in the moment, when you're in

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Speaker 1: an emergency situation and it's fight or flight, I personally

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Speaker 1: the last thing on my mind is I need to

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Speaker 1: set an example. But again, it depends on what you're

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Speaker 1: going through. I used to flip my shit as a

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Speaker 1: knee jerk reaction. Now I am just heavily medicated. I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of moms will relate to that, or

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Speaker 1: just adults without children, just life gets a little bit.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, lie, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Well you kind of just not by choice. Uh, you

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Speaker 1: have no other choice as a parent. I think it's instinct.

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Speaker 1: Our children feel what we feel. That's the other thing.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like when your kid falls down and

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Speaker 1: they look at you to see how you're going to

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Speaker 1: go to react.

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Speaker 2: And I will say, your reactions are always over the top.

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Speaker 2: Wait really, oh my gosha, Like if something happens to

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Speaker 2: ocean and right when you do that, your reaction makes

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Speaker 2: her react before so.

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Speaker 1: Sa even yeah, because sometimes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I really will, because there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: times where like something will happen and you'll overreact. But

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Speaker 2: it's hard because you're the parent as well, so it's

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Speaker 2: like you want a comfort, but you also don't want

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Speaker 2: to do it. So it's like, ah, you blackout in

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Speaker 2: that month, it just you overreact.

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Speaker 1: Well, I also need my mind goes a million miles

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Speaker 1: ahead of like how bad it could have been, So

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Speaker 1: I need her to understand in that moment we cannot

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Speaker 1: do that again, because even just a slight fall, I

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Speaker 1: immediately go to an intrusive thought of oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: she could have snapped her neck this way, but she

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Speaker 1: realized died but she didn't, but she could have.

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Speaker 2: Because now I have to tell her every time I

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Speaker 2: watch her it's Freeman's game.

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Speaker 1: Oh lovely, she fell.

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Speaker 2: Many a time in her Yes, she's great. She plays

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Speaker 2: in her playroom, but like she'll be on her tramp

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Speaker 2: doing something and I'll be like, no, she's going to fall,

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Speaker 2: and boy does she fall. And every time I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm just not looking, she'll look immediately at me, and

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Speaker 2: after I don't stare geriff reel, she'll slowly get up

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Speaker 2: and move things to act like she didn't fall.

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Speaker 1: All I think about is if we reinjure those teeth,

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Speaker 1: they're going to turn flat, they're falling out.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, she's got a new set coming.

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Speaker 1: In damage to the real root. Weirdly, I lose all

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Speaker 1: emotion and just go into work mode. Very weird. And

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Speaker 1: when I look back, heartless, question mark, I don't think

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Speaker 1: that that's no.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm going to say that you being heartless. I

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Speaker 2: guess if that's what we're gonna call it in those moments,

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Speaker 2: that's you putting on your mask first. Yeah, you being

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Speaker 2: heartless is getting a lot of people through it because

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Speaker 2: some people don't need to hear. Some people just need

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Speaker 2: to be told, like you gotta do it.

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Speaker 1: My gay like you, they freeze.

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Speaker 2: It's nice. You don't need to do anything. You just

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Speaker 2: need to get everybody a to b And if you

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Speaker 2: gotta be heartless to do it, it's because those people

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Speaker 2: need that reaction.

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Speaker 1: I have so much running through my mind right now.

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Speaker 2: No, I really do like this because I'm thinking about

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Speaker 2: a lot of the things, and the more I think

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Speaker 2: about it, the more I don't freeze. But like, there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of the times where I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what to do, so I just start doing a

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Speaker 2: lot of nothing.

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Speaker 1: But something makes sense that sounds like not a lot

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Speaker 1: of help.

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Speaker 2: I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Oh great, so.

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Speaker 2: It's just I freeze, but I don't freeze, Okay, you

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Speaker 2: get it, Like I'm just sporadic.

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Speaker 1: You know, I p we never have to find out

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Speaker 1: you're like this person said, you don't you fake it

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Speaker 1: for the kids and panic internally. Mom of three, including

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Speaker 1: a four month old, that's a lot when you have

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Speaker 1: an infant that can't even that can barely they just

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Speaker 1: learned to like hold their own head up. Could you

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Speaker 1: imagine being in a situation where it is your job

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Speaker 1: to rally everyone in your household in the emergency situation

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Speaker 1: on top.

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Speaker 2: Of keeping composure.

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Speaker 1: I just it can't be done. Simply cannot be done.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm telling you a mom's I mean, moms is

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Speaker 2: that's a hard job. It's the hardest job in the

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Speaker 2: world to be a mom.

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Speaker 1: It's also very exhausting.

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Speaker 2: I can tell I'm catching it. I get the secondhand exhaustment.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes when I look at myself, I go, you do

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Speaker 1: look like one of those moms who's just like.

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Speaker 2: Fuck it, and isn't it a great place to be?

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Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I'd like to remind myself that I

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Speaker 1: like I wore a heel the other night, and I was.

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Speaker 2: Like a baby tear. I'm like, what are they gonna

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Speaker 2: start practicing?

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Speaker 1: My knees are aching, literally mortifying. I was like walking

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Speaker 1: up the stairs like praying that the door guy didn't

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Speaker 1: look at me like this stupid homely bitch you wear. No,

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Speaker 1: that's the whole point. I've got to get out of

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Speaker 1: the sweatshirts and out of like I actually felt really

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Speaker 1: cute and OHI when I like pulled myself together enough

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Speaker 1: with like an off the shoulder sweater, like a pair

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Speaker 1: of jeans that are actually in style now I think

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Speaker 1: they had a rip in them, which I think is

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Speaker 1: not in style anymore. But I can't keep up.

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Speaker 2: Fully, No, there's just I wear what I have.

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Speaker 1: Think of being a child again, How if things were

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Speaker 1: handled calmly, I wouldn't have anxiety today. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm stressing now. Am I causing my children anxiety? I

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Speaker 1: hope not. I try to be calm. We spoke about

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Speaker 1: this on the last episode of or No a few

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Speaker 1: episodes back. How I've learned the parenting tools that Ocean needs.

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Speaker 2: That really dug into me.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: I was trying to think of like all of the

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Speaker 2: back things that happened with mom and dad that like

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Speaker 2: we're stressful events that did they cause me stresses?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to say something that's probably going to

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Speaker 1: be a super unpopular opinion and I may get dragged

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Speaker 1: for it, but I'm okay with it. Every single person

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Speaker 1: on the planet so it is going to require a

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Speaker 1: different set of skills and parents do the best they can.

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Speaker 2: It's just nice to maybe understand where you're at. I can't.

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Speaker 2: Here's it. Yeah, I'm not I'm not saying like, oh

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Speaker 2: I am okay to feel this way because my mom

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Speaker 2: and dad. Right, I'm saying it's fun to see that

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Speaker 2: maybe things that happened have made me this way, and

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Speaker 2: now I can start to understand that these situations betray

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Speaker 2: you the anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I like that. Yeah, but you know what I do?

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Speaker 1: You like putting? Anytime someone writes in this says put

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Speaker 1: the shoe on the other foot, what did you need?

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Speaker 1: It's like when we spoke to Jenna and I said,

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Speaker 1: Ocean requires this set of parenting skills. She needs to

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Speaker 1: be spoken too calmly. Jenna immediately said, is that how

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Speaker 1: you need to be spoken? To and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, maybe that is true, because what happens

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Speaker 1: is when someone tries to get hyphi with me or someone,

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Speaker 1: I see their anxiety level rise.

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Speaker 2: You match energy, I do match energy.

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Speaker 1: I hate that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're an energy. Yeah so if well, that's how

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Speaker 2: I've started to both of you. You and love oh no,

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Speaker 2: when we are very rare. But when you, guys, when

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Speaker 2: stuff is starting to pile up and you start attacking

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Speaker 2: me or I attack you, like, I go, oh god, yeah,

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Speaker 2: oh god.

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Speaker 1: I'm so good at feeling overwhelmed and being like and it's.

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Speaker 2: All your God. And that's the other thing is like,

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Speaker 2: why you shit on the counter.

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Speaker 1: He kind of wiped it off.

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Speaker 2: That was last night.

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Speaker 1: The second because it didn't happen. This person's I call

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Speaker 1: my mom relatable. I don't need to call it. Your

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Speaker 1: calling of the mom is probably dialing. I go mom, mom,

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Speaker 1: No for real. United separated my then three and a

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Speaker 1: half year old from me on a flight from o'hairtool Orlando.

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Speaker 1: How yeah, because that's not a lap child anymore. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's not okay, and I think I would

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Speaker 1: have lost it and been removed from this is craped.

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Speaker 2: So they had to sit away from each other on

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Speaker 2: the plane. My thing is, if I was on that plane,

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Speaker 2: I would have been like next to her, I would

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Speaker 2: have said, your child is not near you. I will

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Speaker 2: I won't know where your child is. And I would

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Speaker 2: assume whoever the child's seat was in or the guy

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Speaker 2: was in the middle, like you should have been like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: let's just swap like to me.

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Speaker 1: That sometimes I people on volumes.

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Speaker 2: About the people on the plane.

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Speaker 1: No, you guys. I was flying back from Salt Lake

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Speaker 1: to LA. My dad had just died. My mom and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to sit together aka drink together, and this

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Speaker 1: guy wouldn't fucking move.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So the other.

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Speaker 1: No was in a middle seat, and so this nice

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Speaker 1: woman and her husband they ended up separating, and so

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Speaker 1: Mom and I could sit together.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, this guy, you fucking I won't forget.

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Speaker 2: I was flying from Miami to South Carolina. Was uh,

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Speaker 2: I was coming back to LA. Yeah, but from Miami

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Speaker 2: to South Carolina there were there was two people in

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Speaker 2: first class that wanted to sit by each other. No

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Speaker 2: one would move, and so they went to two people

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Speaker 2: in just like Delta comfort and gave them there too,

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Speaker 2: so they could sit next to each other. Cute, right,

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Speaker 2: I was like, that is cute.

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Speaker 1: I have to say I've done that before. One of

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Speaker 1: the only times that but I did. We gave up

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Speaker 1: first class because you.

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Speaker 2: Want to say yeah, but like that's the thing I

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Speaker 2: I When somebody needs my seat and I'm like I

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Speaker 2: can give it, I feel so great. I'll be walking

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Speaker 2: on the plane like people are looking at me like

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Speaker 2: I'm a nice guy.

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Speaker 1: You an I don't. Unfortunately, when it comes to my kids,

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Speaker 1: I definitely can't seem to stay calm, even when I'm

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Speaker 1: an ex emergency officer.

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Speaker 2: I know why. Why Because kids don't fucking listen.

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Speaker 1: Oh that is. I want to do a bonus where

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Speaker 1: there's like different parenting techniques. I want to have someone

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Speaker 1: come on to talk about like each set of skills

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Speaker 1: that are you know, put into a box that maybe

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Speaker 1: your child requires.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like uh, five sets of skills, and like you

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Speaker 2: try each one with your child to see what if they.

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Speaker 1: Respond to that. Yes, science says your voice a mama's

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Speaker 1: voice can be child's calm. I'm thirty three and it's

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Speaker 1: still true for me.

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Speaker 2: How crazy that I know? I do too, and I

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Speaker 2: never pictured it, even like just the phone call of

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Speaker 2: like to mom when I was going through it, like

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Speaker 2: just her voice would reset me. But I never understood.

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Speaker 1: That that's your mama, not a mom, just an ADHD adult.

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Speaker 1: I personally get very angry and yell at everyone so

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Speaker 1: relatable same you and me both, and that's a set

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Speaker 1: of I want to say. I won't call them skills

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I feel.

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Speaker 2: Like it is well. I want to know if they're

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Speaker 2: medicated for their ADHD, because I am not medicated for

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Speaker 2: my ADHD. I have been. I like not being on

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Speaker 2: its personal decisions, but I like not being on like

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Speaker 2: adderall or vibeance. I don't like the way it makes

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Speaker 2: me feel. So I really am just freelancing ADHD out here,

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Speaker 2: and I get the same way. I don't know why.

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Speaker 2: There's just spurts of like, oh you fucking need to

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Speaker 2: yell at someone or something, and then like time goes

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Speaker 2: by and then I forget that. Wow, it's fun in

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Speaker 2: this brand, it's a circus.

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Speaker 1: I like people who yell it's great like this Larry David.

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Speaker 2: Kind of because I that's who I aspire to be.

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Speaker 1: Sadly, I rely on my husband. He was a firefighter

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Speaker 1: slash EMT and I pray he's around if an emergency happens.

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Speaker 2: Number one, thank you to your husband for what he does. Yes,

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Speaker 2: what he does, And I feel like that really would

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Speaker 2: bring so much calmness.

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Speaker 1: Also, I bet he's way hot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just like you look at that no matter what's

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Speaker 2: going on, you look at a man who is just

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Speaker 2: face to face with a fire and you're like, it

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Speaker 2: can't all right, it can't be that.

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Speaker 1: First of all, thank you for what you do. She's

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Speaker 1: looking at him. And when you get back, I really

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Speaker 1: would love to fuck you.

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Speaker 2: Climb you like a tree. Climb you like the tree

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Speaker 2: you put out.

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Speaker 1: Take a deep breath and hold back my reaction because

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Speaker 1: I know the second I show fear it's over, you're

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Speaker 1: on the whole household in arms badly. When my grandpa fell,

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Speaker 1: I broke his wrist, my husband had to yell yell

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Speaker 1: at me more than once to call nine one one.

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Speaker 1: That's Lisa, where I was like, call nine one one,

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Speaker 1: call nine one one, just sitting there. I'm as a

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Speaker 1: wife of a first responder, whenever my husband is in

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Speaker 1: a fire or call, I pray first and focus on

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Speaker 1: our son. A men to that, and thank you for

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Speaker 1: what your husband does. Yes, I go extremely calm. My

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Speaker 1: son got a toy hook in his eye, and inside

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Speaker 1: I was panicking, but I had to be calm, and

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Speaker 1: I just picked him up and looked at my friend

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Speaker 1: and said, I'll call.

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Speaker 2: Like an actual like fish hook or like just like

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Speaker 2: a little play plast.

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Speaker 1: Looked at my friend and said I'll call you, and

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Speaker 1: drove straight to the hospital. I've had situations where I've

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Speaker 1: had to put Ocean in the car due to like

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Speaker 1: a sickness, and it's the most terrifying thing to put

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Speaker 1: a hurt or sick child into the back of the

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Speaker 1: car where you have no eyes on them except for

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Speaker 1: maybe like a little mirror, and then you think about

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Speaker 1: them strapped in there and if you need to get

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Speaker 1: them out quickly, it's just a montage of shit.

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Speaker 2: That, like you just said, not being able to see him,

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Speaker 2: and like he's got a hook in his eye and

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Speaker 2: you don't want him to touch his own eye, so

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Speaker 2: you're that's shout out to the mama.

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Speaker 1: I work at a hospital, so I see this stuff,

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Speaker 1: but when it's my kid, Nope, I lose it. I

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Speaker 1: think that that's totally relatable. Usually cry and then take

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Speaker 1: them for a treat. And play their favorite songs.

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Speaker 2: Taking that in our arsenal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they get like really upset about something, would you

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Speaker 1: like a cooking and some Taylor Swift shake it off.

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Speaker 1: That's a way to get them right out of their

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Speaker 1: own feelings. My girls are nineteen and seventeen, and I

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Speaker 1: still act a fool. Yeah, probably because at that age

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Speaker 1: they're now like stealing the car and shit.

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Speaker 2: Mom still acts a fool.

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Speaker 1: Mom does act a fool. We're gonna end it with

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Speaker 1: this mama who says two hundred milligrams of zoloft, because

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Speaker 1: I find that to be very very funny in any situation,

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Speaker 1: depending on what it is. I think that it is

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Speaker 1: something in you that you're either born with or you

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Speaker 1: work really hard because there is nothing you can do

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Speaker 1: in an emergency situation.

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Speaker 2: You're either born with it or you've dealt with so

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Speaker 2: much emergency you're now equipped for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because even though your brain is like I need

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Speaker 1: to move my hand to dial this, but I can't

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Speaker 1: remember the number to nine one one, I get it.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So thank you guys for writing into the

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Speaker 1: podcast page. The YouTube video is up as well. Today.

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Speaker 1: You can follow us at Give Them La La Pod.

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Speaker 1: I love you guys, and I will catch you for

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Speaker 1: a regular old episode on Wednesday. Bye bye,