1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Okay, I can hear this in my headphones. I can 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: hear it, okay, So all right, so hopefully you guys 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,480 Speaker 1: are hearing this too, So all right, so quick way 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: to so all right, So I'm in the car with Hayes, 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: uh Davenport, you guys know him, and we're head to 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: studio to do the show because it's Saturday. And I 7 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: am just telling him this really interesting fact that a 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: lot of people maybe probably don't know, which is that 9 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,919 Speaker 1: Mexican coke is actually different from American coke and it 10 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: tastes so good because it's got real sugar. And I'm 11 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: just telling Hayes that, like anyone would, to be nice 12 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: because maybe then he can use that fact at a 13 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: party or something. And he just goes all of a sudden, 14 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: he goes into the way that he does. He goes, Sean, 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: you're a man splaining again, you know how? He says that, 16 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: And I'm like, uh no, actually, I'm just telling you 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: an interesting fact. And he goes, Sean, even the way 18 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: you said you're telling me an interesting fact? Is your 19 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: man splaining to me? And I go, oh yeah, Hayes, 20 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 1: well let me man splain this in a way. Your 21 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,400 Speaker 1: little pee brain can understand. You say that word to 22 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 1: me again, and I'm gonna tell the guy who's driving 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: to pull over and you can walk to the studio. 24 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: So then Hayes goes like, what word? And I go, 25 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: you know what word? And you better not say it, Hayes. 26 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: And he goes, no, I really don't know what word. 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: And I go, well, good, if you don't know what word, 28 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: then just don't say any words and we'll just be 29 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 1: quiet under the way to the studio. And he goes, oh, 30 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: I think I know what word. And I'm like, oh, no, 31 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: he won't and he does. And he goes, man, splain 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: which word you mean, Sean, And I said, brutus, pull over? 33 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: This cut this luber. I should explain what a luber is. 34 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: So you know, there's lyft, there's uber. We thought it 35 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: would be kind of funny if we combine those two 36 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: words and make our own car service called Luber. Now 37 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: why is it luber other than just combining the names. Well, 38 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: the back seats of all the cars we have is 39 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: hard to get into, so you kind of have to 40 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: grease up or just be smooth somehow because we really 41 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: only have the one car. It's one of those ones 42 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: with like three wheels that looks kind of stupid and 43 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: cool at the same time. And what happened is I 44 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,119 Speaker 1: had left the door open pulling out of a gas 45 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: station and it dented the hinge it there's only a 46 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: door on one side. It dented the hinge in, so 47 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,399 Speaker 1: it doesn't open all the way. So if you're nice 48 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: and lubed up, you can get into the luber, which 49 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: me and Hayes did that morning. Anyway, Brute pulls the 50 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: luber over and Hayes sort of shimmies himself out and 51 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: he goes, good luck doing the show by yourself today. Well, 52 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: thank you, and I will and welcome back to the 53 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: We Don't Need Hayes Show. It's an inside out guide 54 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: to to making laughs and not needing any Hayes And 55 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: isn't it better without him? And so I got into 56 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: the studio and I guess no engineers were here yet, 57 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: and Hayes usually keeps track of the schedule of when 58 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: we're supposed to be here. So I hit a bunch 59 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: of buttons and hopefully now you can hear me, and 60 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: I'm recording and we're just having a fun thing, and 61 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: the show's about entertainment, and it's about Hollywood and and 62 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: and it's about being able to stand on your own 63 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: two feet. And one thing, dear listeners and handbook heads, 64 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: that maybe you are always mad about when Hayes is here, 65 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: and I know I am, is that he doesn't let 66 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: me go off on my famous rants and he doesn't 67 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: want me to do any of the great stuff I 68 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: have cooked up. So maybe now that he's gone, maybe 69 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: we can really get frank about some of the big issues. 70 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: And now I'll just get into that, like fracking and 71 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: all that. And so let's just pull up the news 72 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: and I'll just go and I'll just riff and I 73 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: won't have Hayes stopping me. So, so US is not 74 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: entering into serious civil war? Why so Syria? The joker 75 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: Russian plane crash investigation begins into cause of a three 76 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: twenty one crash. Okay, I'm gonna go there. Uh why 77 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: don't they just make the whole plane out of the 78 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: black Box? Rumanian nightclub fire kills twenty seven National mourning 79 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: declared in Bucharest. Uh buca, dibeppo, buka give it a rest, Hey, buka, 80 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: give it. 81 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 2: What would I normally say about this if Haes was here. 82 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: Let's skip that one. That's sad student protest firing school. 83 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: This is tough news, German frustration. I feel you in Germany. 84 00:05:54,240 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: Uh huh, okay, I'm not gonna say that word. Oh 85 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: oh what about? Oh you know what, let's just go entertainment. 86 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: That's why is that news is too dark and it's 87 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: the and it's the lame stream media and have you 88 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: heard that before? Is just trying to sell us in 89 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 1: if it bleeds, it leads, when really there's not that 90 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: much violence out there. New Star Wars commercial. I don't 91 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: want to get spoiled. I don't want to get spoiled 92 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 1: on that, so I won't look at that. What your 93 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: favorite horror movie? H No, sorry, that's more Star Wars? 94 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: Why is all the Star Wars? 95 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: Oh? James Bond? Now, this is something that I'm sure 96 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: that I'll have an opinion on. The director offers tips 97 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:58,119 Speaker 1: to young directors. Okay, where'd you get that idea? Sam 98 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: Mendez offering tips? Uh oh, let me guess I do it. 99 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: And Hayes kind of helps when I do this show. 100 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: So think about this, everybody, Sam Mendez comes in and 101 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: tells you how to direct and you are listening to 102 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: him instead of listening to me. 103 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 3: Me, and. 104 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: Imagine that how your movies would be instead of good, 105 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: like what I said to do. Here's probably what he 106 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: says how to direct, and I'll see what his tips 107 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: are and I'll tell you if they're good or not, 108 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: and he's got ten of them. Get in touch with 109 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: your inner twelve year old. No, get in touch with 110 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: your inner like sixteen year old, because when you're twelve, 111 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: you don't really know how to have sex good yet. 112 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: And I know Hayes wouldn't want to talk about that, 113 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: but honestly, like, yeah, you're starting to do it, of course, 114 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: and we all were, but you're actually not great at 115 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: it yet because a lot of it you're still just 116 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: so surprised of like what all the pieces is? You know? 117 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: So don't do that all right? You can only ever 118 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: point the camera at one thing at a time. Uh okay, 119 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: Number one, get two cameras. Number two, heard of a 120 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: GoPro You can actually see the whole ocean with it, 121 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,679 Speaker 1: so and just strap it to something. So Number three, 122 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: you're praying roulette with someone else's money. If you're gonna 123 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: bet it all on black, you need to be able 124 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: to explain why. So this is about diversity in film, obviously, 125 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: I know it's a problem. You know it's a problem. 126 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: Viola Davis knows the problem she talked about in speech. 127 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: So I would say that I don't understand why Sam 128 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 1: Mendez is saying to everyone like, if you put black 129 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: people in your movie, you have to have a really 130 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: good reason. For me, the good reason would just be 131 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: they should be in movies too, And I know that's 132 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: not popular to say, and I know certainly Hayes wouldn't 133 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: want them in there, But I think those guys are great, 134 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: and even Chinese guys and Spanish guys too, could all 135 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: do in the movies and they should all get paid 136 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: the same as how much money they make back. So 137 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: that to me, and also about like wage inequality in general, 138 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 1: the reason that some kinds of people are getting paid 139 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: less than other kinds of people is that certain kinds 140 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: of people probably don't do all their own stunts like 141 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: Tom Cruise does now and take that haze. You wouldn't 142 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: You would have tried to stop me from saying that 143 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,199 Speaker 1: number four. Making an action sequence is only interesting when 144 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: you're in the cutting room. Up until then, it is 145 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: literally the most tedious thing you will ever do. So 146 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: that's his tip to you as a director. So I 147 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: guess he's saying, don't make action sequences is But I 148 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 1: actually think there a lot of times are the best 149 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: part of movies, especially if it's an action based movie 150 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: like James Bond. The guy who made James Bond is saying, 151 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: don't do any action sequences. I'm sorry, I call b Yes. 152 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: Oh wait, I can actually say it now, bull spit 153 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: okay number five on the day. Be prepared, but also 154 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: be prepared to make shit up. All right, Sam, I've 155 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: raked you over the calls a couple of times, but 156 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: I love that you're swearing. I love that you're making 157 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: fun of the boy scouts. I love that you're talking 158 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:28,599 Speaker 1: about doing improv, which is like the rawest, purest expression 159 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: of just like the comedy of the mind. I mean, 160 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: in a way, that's what I do here on the 161 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: We Don't Need Hayes Show. Is I just invite you 162 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: to sort of lurk through the hallways of my twisted 163 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: inner mind and to sort of creak open the doors 164 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 1: that maybe should have stayed shut and peer into the 165 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: most secretive, dark thoughts, like what if you know, like, 166 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: what if we're all just bugs. So number six, when 167 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: you're choosing for collaborators, when you're choosing four collaborators, it's 168 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,319 Speaker 1: not the number four when you're choosing for collaborat It 169 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: should just be when we're choosing collaborate. I'm not gonna 170 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: get caught up in the grammar. That's what Hayes would do. 171 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: When you're choosing for collaborators. Do not listen to the 172 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,559 Speaker 1: people who tell you yes, but I've never done a 173 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: big movie. And don't listen to the people too, who 174 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 1: are like, ooh, you're man explaining when really you're just 175 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 1: trying to help them be interesting at a party. So yeah, 176 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,559 Speaker 1: they say yes, but I've never done a big movie. 177 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: If they're any good, they will learn, just like I 178 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: don't understand this tip skipping it, you need to learn 179 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: Number seven. You need to learn to tune out the 180 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: white noise. So again he's obsessed with people's race at 181 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: their skid color in movies, and I would say that 182 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: you don't have to tune out the white people's noise. 183 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: What you can do is just listen to them equally. 184 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: And that's a big thing. I've always been a fan 185 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: of and I've actually been wanting to get less white 186 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: noise on this podcast and more noise of other kinds. 187 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: And hayes the reason that we don't have a more 188 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: diverse guests. So number eight, Tarantino, Spielberg, Nolan Scorsese, Greenngrass, JJ, 189 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: and Paul Thomas Anderson all still shoot on film. There's 190 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: a reason I would say one of these things is 191 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: not like the others. Tarantino, Spielberg, Nolan Scorsese, Greenngrass, JJ, 192 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: and Paul Thomas Anderson. Anybody feel like he shoehorned Greenngrass 193 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: in there. Number nine, You're trying to surf the big waves, 194 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:55,559 Speaker 1: so be prepared to be wiped out. Holy shit, this 195 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: is just really fucking good advice. You're trying to surf 196 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: the big wave, you'll be prepared to be wiped out. 197 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: But when you catch it, it feels like nothing else. 198 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: So this is a little bit about sort of my 199 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: zen philosophy too. Of life is just surfing waves. And 200 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: if you've ever been out there on the ocean, no 201 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: wet suit, no rash gear, just you and your bros 202 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: straight up riding on the ocean, fucking high fiving sea lions, 203 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 1: grooving through the waves, catching gnarly tubes, getting totally pitted, 204 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 1: and then straight up when you surf all the way in, 205 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: just popping off the board, stepping on the back of 206 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: it like it's a surfboard, catching it over your shoulder 207 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,719 Speaker 1: in the one hand, and then putting your other arm 208 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: around a honey and straight up she Now she's with 209 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: you if you want to, If you look at life 210 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 1: that way, then you'll be a good director like me 211 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: and sat Mendez and then number ten, when you get excited, 212 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: don't be afraid to leap out of your chair and 213 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: sing the theme. That's fun. So he's saying that when 214 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: you do get boned out, when you have a major 215 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: rock and hard one, a lot of people are afraid 216 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: to leap out of their chair and stand up because 217 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: it's like you're gonna be able to see that it's 218 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: sticking out and and so he's saying, look, you're the boss, 219 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: you're the director. If you are feeling sort of saucy 220 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: and you got the juices flowing downstairs, don't be afraid 221 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 1: to let people know, Hey, this is what I'm working 222 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: with and right now, since you all work for me, 223 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: you should have to look at it and singing the 224 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 1: Bond theme. I assume that's a joke. It's probably you 225 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 1: can sing anything you want, and that's something we're gonna 226 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: be doing on this show now. Is I can play 227 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: more of the kind of music that I like. Hayes 228 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: does it really always like have you know the best 229 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: taste in music? And he baby is telling us what 230 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: we should listen to when actually I have like some 231 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: really cool modern stuff that I'm into that maybe you 232 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: guys don't know about it. And so let's just hear 233 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: a tune that Hayes normally wouldn't let us do. 234 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 3: Yes, Yes, the cleaning for your eating. 235 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: Yes, you mean theanana sweet for your eating. That's right. 236 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: Her grandma cook this nice dinner and you get to 237 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: friggin just dig in. And Hayes never want this because 238 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 1: he doesn't think women should be allowed the same you mean, 239 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: ah yeah, And he always doesn't want me to play 240 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: it for this log because then they'll have to retroactively 241 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: take it out of the podcast. But no rules, Baby, 242 00:15:53,880 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: Let's hear one more jam. Come on, I just gotta dance. Ooh, 243 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: And you don't always have to have jokes or something 244 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: to say during a song. Sometimes it's just about people 245 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: listening to music and knowing that you're kind of bopping 246 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 1: and dancing while the music's going on, and you can 247 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: feel that at home through the mic. Can't you that 248 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: I'm like doing all my best moves and that I've 249 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: got more room to do it. I don't even know 250 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 1: this song, but it doesn't matter, you know. So anyway, 251 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: what we're gonna be doing today is just a lot 252 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: more of what you've already experienced, where there's really no 253 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 1: boundaries and we're not being limited in the way that 254 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: maybe we used to be. And it's almost like I've 255 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: been running with weights on all this time, and finally 256 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: I can sail and jump higher from the strength I have. 257 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: We have a guess. His name's Jeff Dunham. You know him. 258 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: His characters are wild. He heard the Paul Rust episode 259 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: of the podcast that we did where we made a 260 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 1: great joke, now who's the Dunham. It was about Jeff 261 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: Dunham having Lena Dunham on his left on his lap. 262 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: I'm not used to talking this much on his lap 263 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: with dummy mouth, and she's going now, who's the Dunham? Now, 264 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: who's the Dunham. Anyway, Jeff heard it and he thought 265 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 1: that it should have gotten more attention, the more people 266 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: should have quoted it and read it threats things like that, 267 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: because he thought it's very clever and he wanted to 268 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: come on to talk about that. So that'll be coming 269 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 1: up after the break, and I hope you like the 270 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: new version of the show, which is actually is even 271 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 1: better and more raw and has more good tips than 272 00:17:50,400 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: the old one. And that's it. Bye. So I got 273 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: a text from Hayes Davenport and uh, basically what he 274 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: said is good luck, good luck with the podcast. I've 275 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 1: got Jeff Dunham, he he he, And he sent a 276 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: picture of me and Jeff Dunham is tied up and 277 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 1: he's on the back of Hayes's tense speed. So at 278 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 1: this point I have no co hosts. I have no guest, 279 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: one of who someone who I actually thought was actually 280 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 1: one of my friends accuse me of man splaining when 281 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 1: really the whole point was just like, the coke is 282 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: extra sweet, but it's sweet in a way that's more natural, 283 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: and that's what makes making coke so good. And so 284 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: if you have something like that to offer people in 285 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: the glass bottle at your party. They're gonna really think 286 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 1: that you're cool. And you could tell them why it 287 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: tastes so good. And that's not man'splain people, that's just 288 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,719 Speaker 1: being a buddy. And who's smart and knows more than 289 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: the person you're talking to. So appreciate that one thing 290 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: Hayes never would let me do. And I always wanted 291 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: to be nice to our fans. And they write letters 292 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: and ask for things, and I go, let's give it 293 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: to them, let's embrace our fans. And he goes no, 294 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: and he's cold, but I am warm. And there's a 295 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: man named Nathaniel Glassman and his twenty second birthday is 296 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 1: right now, basically, and I remember being twenty two, and 297 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 1: I remember when Taylor. 298 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 2: Swift was that as well, and so. 299 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 1: That so happy birthday, glass Man. And you remind me 300 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,719 Speaker 1: of an unbreakable and the Philip Glass or whatever, and 301 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 1: who has a scary bones and it's and I can 302 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: be brave about that even without Hayes here talking about 303 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: scary movies like Shamiline makes so. Unfortunately, mister Dunham, it appears, 304 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: is indisposed and his keeps texting saying that he's now 305 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: doing his own podcast with Jeff, and they're having a 306 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: lot of fun. But if it's so much fun, then 307 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: why does Jeff have to be tied up on the 308 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: back of a tense speed At least let him ride 309 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 1: on the pegs on the front, you know. So I 310 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: am going to have to pivot a little on what 311 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: I intended to do for the guest segment of the 312 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: show here. So one great thing is Jeff's puppets got 313 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: shipped ahead of time because he obviously was not gonna 314 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,119 Speaker 1: be carrying them all in through the elevators. So they're here, 315 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 1: and they are some of the most wondrous characters you've 316 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: ever seen. And so I'm going to be interviewing his 317 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,120 Speaker 1: puppets and maybe we can kind of meet the man 318 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: behind the many through his closest friends, these unbelievable characters 319 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: that have sprung from his imagination and taken on full life. 320 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 1: And so I'm just going to start sort of opening 321 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 1: up these duffles and boxes and getting out some of 322 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: these guys and ladies. Who are these great characters that 323 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 1: are so fun to talk to, And let's just hire there. Oh, hey, hey, there, you. 324 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: My name's freaking Dr walnot doctor Walnut. Oh good, And 325 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 1: how do you know, Jeff? He puts his hand and 326 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: I took us. Okay, doctor Walnut, that okay, not it's uh, 327 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:29,159 Speaker 1: here's my dad. Oh okay. And you have crazy just 328 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 1: your crazy colors and all of that. Uh what are 329 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 1: you a doctor of I'm an anesthesiologist. Oh I've heard 330 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: that's very competitive. They do very well financially. 331 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. 332 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: Okay, well, thank you so much, doctor Walnut. It was 333 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 1: so fun having you. So we're gonna move on from 334 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: doctor Walnut. I didn't really get what his whole thing was, 335 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 1: you know, m h hey Main, Oh, hello, sir? Who 336 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 1: are you? I am Josey Hallepenall. Oh look I got 337 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 1: to smash the piata okay, so all right, so hio 338 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 1: jose help. So you're of Mexican descent? Why were you saying? Dash? 339 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:42,200 Speaker 3: I just. 340 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: You know what, I made an unfair assumption based on 341 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: the way you were behave. 342 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 3: Is that? 343 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 1: Am I not? Is that? I guess I never really 344 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: thought about who my parents are or my cultural heritage. 345 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: Jeff never wants to kind of thing for me. You 346 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: feel like Jeff limits you and what you can say 347 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: on stage. Yeah, he just wants my pinnata material, just 348 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: the pinata stuff. Huh, Well, Jose, I mean, what do 349 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: you want to talk about fracking? You want to talk 350 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 1: about fracking. Yes, it's a real problem. We need to 351 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 1: we need to somehow curb our reliance on fossil fuels 352 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 1: because if pretty soon we're going to be smashing the earth, 353 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: blowing it up like a freaking pinata. Right, Yeah, yeah, 354 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: we're we're causing you know, potentially causing earthquakes with the 355 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: way that we're sort of drilling these areas, and and 356 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 1: and yeah, and you're afraid the earth will blow up 357 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: like this, as you say, like a pinata. Yeah, will it? Okay, 358 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: So it's unfair, I say, Jeff, only let me talk 359 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,400 Speaker 1: about pinnata. Then I bring up pinnata. I mean it later, 360 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: but it really did apply to that. Okay, Well, let's 361 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 1: talk about something that doesn't apply to it, Jose, Like 362 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 1: what else? 363 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 3: You know? 364 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 1: Hit me? Like, what else is up? 365 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 4: Like? 366 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: What's going on for you? Personally? I had like a 367 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: medical scare recently. Oh I'm sorry, yeah, Bello's palsy. I was, 368 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 1: it was all stressed, but one whole side of my 369 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: face was just drooping, and I think it's just the 370 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,479 Speaker 1: road life. I think it's the touring and all that, 371 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,479 Speaker 1: just not really having a home where you feel like 372 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: you planted your own two feet, just always being moving 373 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 1: and not not really having a family, all the pressures 374 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 1: of performing night after night. Anyway, it went away, but 375 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: it was a scary week, and I just want to say, 376 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 1: take the time to concern yourself with self care, okay, 377 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,679 Speaker 1: And did you want to do anything else about pinatas 378 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: just before I put you away? Sure? Let me think 379 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: what have I got? Okay? Like, hey, man, watch where 380 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: you're swinging that thing. You're supposed to be aiming for 381 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:48,880 Speaker 1: the pinata, not for my head. Right. That's like if 382 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 1: somebody if we could see someone and they were swinging 383 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: like a stick and they were almost gonna hit you 384 00:26:54,480 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 1: in the head. Yep, Okay, Let's see who else we got. 385 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 1: And that was fun, all right? So uh okayh And 386 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:15,160 Speaker 1: we've opened up and let's see who's inside. And it's uh, 387 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 1: sort of a bin lad any looking guy. I don't 388 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: know if that's not the way to say it. Hello, sir. 389 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 1: Jingle bombs, jingle bombs, jingle Odd, Is Jeff not here? No, 390 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: Jeff's not here? Oh good, he makes me do the 391 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 1: jingle bombs tea. Do you do you not want to 392 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 1: do the jingle bombs thing? No, it's offensive to me. 393 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:55,919 Speaker 1: I'm just a I'm just a Muslim skeleton. I was 394 00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: killed by a US throne, and now do I didn't 395 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: sell the injury. My carcass has been repurposed to become 396 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: a puppet, and the puppet has to say very offensive 397 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: things about my culture, which people all throughout the Midwest, 398 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 1: the kind of people who blindly supported the drone bombings 399 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 1: that killed me and my family when I was just 400 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 1: really committing no crime other than living in a region 401 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: that you didn't like anyway, those kinds of people, they 402 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:41,720 Speaker 1: laugh at me, embodying the stereotype. Okay, I'm sorry. I 403 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: never got your name. My real name, yeah, your real name. 404 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: My real name is Sharif, but I'm called Ahmed the 405 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: Dead Terrorist. To what I'm on stage, Holy shit, Akhmed 406 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: the Dead Terrorist. That's uh, well, that's insane that someone 407 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 1: would have that. That would be like a popular act. 408 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:16,760 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, And then did you want to do 409 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: I know you don't want to do jingle bombs, but 410 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: do you want to do anything funny? While you're here, 411 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: just because I feel like all my interviews with these 412 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: puppets are getting kind of like heavy. You know, your 413 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: your repurpose carcass who basically has to debase yourself over 414 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 1: and over again. And uh, well that's interesting, it's not 415 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 1: really cracking me up. Okay, something not jingle bombs, but 416 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: something funny. Okay, let me try to help you out, 417 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: bud uh Okay, I mean, can I bounce off stuff 418 00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,720 Speaker 1: that's in the noose? Yeah? I mean I tried to 419 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: do that earlier and it wasn't getting me a ton, 420 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: but shit, I mean I'll I'll give it a shot. 421 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: I mean, what do you have you seen that hotline 422 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: bling video? Yeah? Okay, yeah, I've heard that's good? All right? 423 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: Um hmm, I mean you got any other Uh? Do 424 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: I have news to give you? Yeah? Yeah, I guess 425 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: that's asking a lot. No, no, no, ESPN killed Grantland yesterday. 426 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 1: I mean that was a big thing. Oh where will 427 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 1: I get my hyperlinks? 428 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 3: Now? 429 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: All right? Thanks Achman and uh or Sharif. Really cool 430 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: to meet you. Uh so, I guess over here in 431 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 1: this other corner, we have, you know, another bag of puppets, 432 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 1: and this one's labeled new puppets, and it was a 433 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: very exciting thing. But Jeff was going to debut some 434 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 1: new puppets on the show, and we were really excited 435 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: to sort of like share in that moment with you, 436 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: because obviously there's the puppets he has, like Professor Walnutt, 437 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:34,440 Speaker 1: Jose Helpegno and Cherif dead Terrorist who we all love. 438 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 1: But he's always innovating and that's part of what's so 439 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: great about mister dunham h And I hope that he 440 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: does safely get off of Hayes's bike. 441 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 3: But. 442 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna open this and see, like what he's 443 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: been working on in his lab. You know, zh oh 444 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: must honorable Jeff is Jeff not here? No, Jeff's not here. 445 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 1: What's your name? Well? He makes me, uh, he makes 446 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: me call myself SAMURAII Shi and do this whole like 447 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't even make sense, like it's 448 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: kind of like a bunch of Japanese buzzwords. And he 449 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: makes me use that most honorable voice and that's not 450 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 1: my real voice. And I am actually just a carcass 451 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: that he found and repurposed. He dug me up, but 452 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: I was a I died in a uh Japanese internment camp. 453 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's a dark chapter of US history that 454 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 1: not a lot of us remember. Yeah. Following the bobbing 455 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: of Pearl Harbor, a lot of uh, the United States 456 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,520 Speaker 1: became very uncomfortable with Japanese citizens. It was sort of 457 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: this is the enemy, and here they are living in 458 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: our communities and they rounded up, you know, US citizens 459 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: who were just working, normal people with businesses and made 460 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 1: them live in you know, these camps inside of California. Yeah. No, 461 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 1: I know about it. You don't need to man explain 462 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:30,240 Speaker 1: it to me. Okay. Anyway, Yeah, so I don't do 463 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: you want me to do the Jeff act fel like 464 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: Japanese buzzwords thing. Yeah, I mean I'm here, sure, Oh 465 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: past the sushi kitana blade Hiroshima. That's literally the act 466 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,960 Speaker 1: like that's well, he's still working it out and it's 467 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,719 Speaker 1: not finish, but yeah, I mean that's sort of what 468 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:11,840 Speaker 1: we're moving towards. Me shouting Hiroshima as the punchline. Well, okay, 469 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: well it was great to meet you, Samuraishi or that's 470 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:19,399 Speaker 1: not your real name. I'm Dennis. My name's Dennis. Okay, Well, 471 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: it was nice to meet you. Dennis, Do we have 472 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: any more puppets in here? 473 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 4: Hey? Now, sexy was she's going on with sugar? Why 474 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 4: don't you give me a little kiss on mind the name? 475 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 1: No, well, miss miss Jeff's not here, just so you know, 476 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: if you don't want to be behaving that way. 477 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,919 Speaker 4: Oh no, I do want to behave this way. This 478 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 4: is what I really am, just an empowered woman who 479 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 4: loves sex. 480 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: Oh wait, as I'm reading the label this, this puppet 481 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 1: was labeled like not for shows, not for performance, Jeff's 482 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 1: private puppet collection. 483 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I don't go out on stage. I'm just 484 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 4: the only way that Jeff can achieve sexual satisfaction is 485 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,440 Speaker 4: by making love to my puppet body. 486 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 1: Okay, well, I'm gonna put you because just even the 487 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 1: fact that I took you out, I feel uncomfortable having. 488 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:25,920 Speaker 4: To No, please, now I crave to be caressed by 489 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 4: by a man. 490 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,239 Speaker 1: Where's Jeff. I gotta get up. I'm gonna I'm gonna 491 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: put you back. I'm gonna put you I'm gonna put 492 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:32,760 Speaker 1: you away. 493 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:38,880 Speaker 5: Okay, no, please, I oh, I as a woman desire 494 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,399 Speaker 5: to be to be finished off sexually. 495 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,280 Speaker 1: This is so uncomfortable. Please, I don't want to do this, please, 496 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:52,920 Speaker 1: I miss I almost said I miss Hayes, but I don't. 497 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: I'm fine without him. Now. There were some Popcorn Gallery questions, 498 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: although I think Hayse Tech has the rights to the 499 00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 1: name Popcorn Gallery and and all that. So what I'm 500 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 1: gonna do is uh call it a new name and 501 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 1: it'll be even better the uh. 502 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 2: The question zone. 503 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to the question Zone, so that I think is 504 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: even better than the theme song we had for the 505 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: Popcorn Gallery. Jeff. Here's some questions from the question zone 506 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:54,760 Speaker 1: for Jeff Dunham and hopefully I can answer them. Uh okay, 507 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:59,399 Speaker 1: Joe mcgirl says, Jeff ever fucked them puppets? He does? 508 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:13,840 Speaker 1: This is, uh, what's your favorite Angry Birds level? Mind's 509 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: either bad piggies or ham them high whatever. The first 510 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 1: one where the like boomerang bird shows up, that's the 511 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: one he likes. This one's about seatbelt laws. Uh, let's see. 512 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,239 Speaker 1: Somebody asked what his favorite metallic album is. Probably it's 513 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:44,200 Speaker 1: set up to the same Master Puppets. It's funny. This 514 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 1: one is uh okay. This was a question for Jose Halipano, 515 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: so I can get him back out if we need to. 516 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,480 Speaker 1: Those questions for Jose Alpano in the in the questions 517 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 1: on Jose, how are you doing? Bro? I just want 518 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 1: to know how you sleep at night knowing you completely 519 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,880 Speaker 1: stole my persona for your acts. And this guy, so 520 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:08,800 Speaker 1: I guess this guy was doing pinata stuff first, Jose, 521 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: do you want to come back out and respond to that? No? 522 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:22,960 Speaker 1: Thank you? Er? Uh no, grass, yes, yeah, that's funny. 523 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 1: All right. Uh so I think the question zone is 524 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 1: going really well. I guess I haven't been getting the 525 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:39,319 Speaker 1: questions out of whatever the signature sort of package will be. 526 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 1: I didn't have Mark recording any sound drops for that. 527 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,879 Speaker 1: That was even better. Well, next, this next question will come, 528 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:52,319 Speaker 1: we will do uh, we will get it out of 529 00:38:52,320 --> 00:39:04,800 Speaker 1: the zone, out of the zone locker. Yes, mm hmm. Okay, 530 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:09,240 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna reach into the zone, into the zone 531 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: locker to get this next one. Left twenty seven, right, 532 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 1: fifty nine, left twenty six, right fifty eight, left twenty five, right, 533 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:49,200 Speaker 1: fifty seven, twenty four, all right, fifty six lock one complete. 534 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: All right, so good, so we're getting closer to getting 535 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:59,759 Speaker 1: into the zone locker for the question zone question. Oh 536 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 1: it's just a latch, Oh, Jeff, you like that all 537 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: day breakfast at McDonald's. It's the best, and that's from Chanson. 538 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 1: So I guess I'll ask one of his puppets to answer, 539 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 1: Doctor WALNUTT, do you know yeah here like's the McDonald's 540 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 1: breakface good? Uh, but they're taking a bath on it. 541 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:37,440 Speaker 1: It lose a lot of money. Well, Jeff, uh, Jeff 542 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 1: can't like that. So I'm done with the puppets. It 543 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: was so awesome and I think we can all agree 544 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 1: this was better than when Hayes is here. So one 545 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 1: thing I wanted to do, oh uh, I'm gonna double 546 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 1: back real quick and just get all the puppets out out. 547 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,120 Speaker 1: And one thing that he is like, won't uh really 548 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,239 Speaker 1: like usually let me do is just straight up have 549 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,399 Speaker 1: a dance party because he says it's too visual, and 550 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 1: I just think, like, oh, with all these puppets in here, 551 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,040 Speaker 1: like just people will be able to feel the fun 552 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:20,359 Speaker 1: coming through the mic. So uh Achmed slash sharif uh 553 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:29,680 Speaker 1: jose helpano h, Professor Walnut or maybe doctor uh uh 554 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 1: uh Selttie Denise Dennis slash Ehi this abra. Could all 555 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,520 Speaker 1: you guys come out and just get out and just 556 00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:46,480 Speaker 1: uh just kind of groove with me, yes, sir, yeah, 557 00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 1: yes see yeah okay, okay, uh yeah, okay. So and 558 00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:09,200 Speaker 1: let's just fucking dance guys, lay across, you're getting down, 559 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 1: yeah all right, Gays would never let me groove like this. Yeah. 560 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:29,040 Speaker 1: And when the drums come in and get and oh 561 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,440 Speaker 1: and and take my hand, slutty to nis and I'm 562 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:37,760 Speaker 1: gonna spin you and get over here, and doctor Walnut 563 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 1: get on my shoulders. And then and I'm gonna raise 564 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:46,600 Speaker 1: the roof with you, okay. And then and I've never 565 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:59,319 Speaker 1: forgotten you, Samurai, Yeah you Sima. All right, So what 566 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,839 Speaker 1: a fun dance party that was? And uh and then 567 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 1: the last thing I wanted to do just before I 568 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 1: leave is Hayes has a private drawer in the Earwolf 569 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,640 Speaker 1: studio and it says hands off Hayes's drawer, and no 570 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:18,800 Speaker 1: one's allowed in here. And I am always so curious 571 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 1: about what's in there, And now that he's not here 572 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,440 Speaker 1: and he's doing his own podcast with Jeff, then I 573 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,279 Speaker 1: guess I'm finally gonna look at it. And let's just 574 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,440 Speaker 1: clown on this fool and let's just everybody, let's go 575 00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,720 Speaker 1: through Hayes's drawer and I'll just talk about the items 576 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,879 Speaker 1: and I'll just riff on those the way I did 577 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 1: on the news stuff, and uh and we'll just clown 578 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 1: on them. So like okay, and I'm just and and 579 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:47,320 Speaker 1: and it's open now and and I'm just going through 580 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,120 Speaker 1: it and just picking out and like what can I 581 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:54,600 Speaker 1: like riff on? And it's like, okay, all right, uh oh, 582 00:43:54,719 --> 00:44:01,040 Speaker 1: it's uh okay, this is oh, it's a a movie 583 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:07,839 Speaker 1: ticket to uh oh, it's it's kind of faded. It's 584 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:15,719 Speaker 1: like an older movie ticket. It's too that movie The 585 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 1: Perfect Score with young Erika Christiansen about breaking into the 586 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: Dean's office to steal sat answers or something. So Hayes 587 00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:30,120 Speaker 1: has a ticket to that movie. Hello, you know that 588 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,840 Speaker 1: movie was pretty good. So okay, this is a movie's 589 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,880 Speaker 1: cafe menu. Hayes. We've been there about a billion times. 590 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 1: I don't think you need to keep the menu. I 591 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,560 Speaker 1: did not remember. It's like we ordered the same thing 592 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:47,879 Speaker 1: every time. So that what a dork. Oh okay, it's 593 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:52,360 Speaker 1: a comb Okay, I'm Hayes, must comb look at me. 594 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm combing. All right, what else has he got in here? Okay, 595 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: it's like a golf ball from like a charity tournament. 596 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:15,239 Speaker 1: This is we were partners at this tournament. That was 597 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:21,920 Speaker 1: a fun day. And actually actually that movie The Perfect 598 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 1: Score That that's the first movie we saw together after 599 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:32,120 Speaker 1: we started doing it doing a podcast. Let me see 600 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:41,759 Speaker 1: this movie's cafe menu. There's a date written on it. 601 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:47,480 Speaker 1: It's my birthday twenty five years ago. That was the 602 00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:51,200 Speaker 1: first time we went to movies cafe. And he circled, 603 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:57,480 Speaker 1: He circled what I ordered. I guess he didn't want 604 00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:02,960 Speaker 1: to forget. Well, what a door. 605 00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:05,920 Speaker 2: This comb. 606 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 1: This is the KOMBI used to pull all the nettles 607 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 1: and pine cones out of my hair after I got 608 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,600 Speaker 1: stuck in that tree. I was climbing this pine tree 609 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,040 Speaker 1: and Hayes agreed to watch because I told him I 610 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,960 Speaker 1: was going to climb so high this time. And as 611 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,040 Speaker 1: I got higher and higher, the branches got thinner, and 612 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,960 Speaker 1: I was sort of looking up and moving and he 613 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:35,520 Speaker 1: was watching and clapping. But and I got scared when 614 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,880 Speaker 1: I looked back down, and I ended up sitting up 615 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:43,640 Speaker 1: there for about a day. Anyway, when they finally came 616 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: and got me down, I had all these nettles and 617 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 1: pine cones, and Hayes picked them out. Well, let's see 618 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,160 Speaker 1: what else this loser has in here? Oh, a drawing, 619 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:56,840 Speaker 1: a picture. 620 00:46:58,200 --> 00:46:59,160 Speaker 2: It's a picture of us. 621 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,719 Speaker 1: It's a drawing, and the two of us riding on 622 00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,000 Speaker 1: a shark, a mega shark. 623 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:05,560 Speaker 3: I think. 624 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:15,200 Speaker 2: It's a Hollywood handbook. 625 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:29,520 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Uh so okay, Uh friendship, So friendship can 626 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:35,280 Speaker 1: be hard, right because you, uh, you don't always agree, 627 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,960 Speaker 1: and it's a different person, and it's not up to 628 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: you how they respond to getting cool Mexican coke facts. 629 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 3: Uh. 630 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:51,279 Speaker 1: The only thing that's up to you is how you 631 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,720 Speaker 1: treat them afterwards. And I think I made a mistake. 632 00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,879 Speaker 1: I'd like to try to call Hayes now. I don't 633 00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 1: know how a lot of this equipment works in the studio. Obviously, 634 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:06,240 Speaker 1: it's a minor miracle that I was able to record anything, 635 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:09,680 Speaker 1: if this even is being recorded. But let's. 636 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,440 Speaker 4: Beep o boo boop, beep oo boo boo, deep up 637 00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,360 Speaker 4: boo boo, peep boo boo boo, beep o poo poop 638 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,600 Speaker 4: beep boop. 639 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:33,719 Speaker 1: Okay, and oh god, it's working. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hey, Hayes, Hey, 640 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:34,319 Speaker 1: is it that you? 641 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:36,319 Speaker 3: Yes, who's this? 642 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,960 Speaker 1: It's Uh, it's a fool. 643 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,399 Speaker 3: Oh I know somebody like that. I used to have 644 00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,480 Speaker 3: a friend. Uh like that. Sorry, it's aloud. 645 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 1: No, it's okay. Don't you say sorry to me. I'm 646 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:57,440 Speaker 1: the one who owes you a sorry. Yeah, well you 647 00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,480 Speaker 1: did used to have a friend and you still and 648 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:04,160 Speaker 1: you still do if you if you want him. I 649 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,920 Speaker 1: didn't know you drew this picture of us on a 650 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:06,840 Speaker 1: mega shark together. 651 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 3: You found that. 652 00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry. I went in your drawer. 653 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,600 Speaker 3: It's it's pretty rando. 654 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:23,680 Speaker 1: Huh, two dudes right in his shark. It's about as 655 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:33,720 Speaker 1: rando as it gets. Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't think 656 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,720 Speaker 1: I was man explaining to you, But now I see 657 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:41,960 Speaker 1: how the way I told you about the sweet tasty 658 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,680 Speaker 1: coke felt that way to you. 659 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,239 Speaker 3: And you and you were acting as if I don't 660 00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:50,479 Speaker 3: know that it has real sugar. I put those corn 661 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,280 Speaker 3: syrup and then you can only get it from Mexico. 662 00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:59,520 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I I know. And as much as. 663 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,040 Speaker 3: I go a bottles for recycling. 664 00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, all of it. As much as I wanted you 665 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 1: to look cool at parties, when you were able to 666 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:09,840 Speaker 1: offer that and explain what was good about it, I 667 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 1: guess I should have given you at least a little 668 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:21,319 Speaker 1: bit of credit for already knowing. Well, look, would you 669 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:26,440 Speaker 1: ever consider coming back to do the podcast again? 670 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:35,719 Speaker 3: I mean, I stepped out of there. 671 00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:39,080 Speaker 1: What who are you with right now? 672 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:47,360 Speaker 3: I'm with you know, I have a couple other friends. 673 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,080 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I don't know if you'd noticed. 674 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,680 Speaker 3: I stepped out of the car into an open manhole 675 00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,200 Speaker 3: and I kind of drifted along for a while of 676 00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,160 Speaker 3: thinking about what had just happened. 677 00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,240 Speaker 1: Well, and then you can now you kidnapped Jeff Dunham 678 00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,000 Speaker 1: and tied him to the back of your ten speed 679 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,000 Speaker 1: I could have what you You kidnapped Jeff Dunham and 680 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 1: you tied him to the back of your ten speed 681 00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,000 Speaker 1: unless that was photoshopped. 682 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:18,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, and the two of us slit down a ramp 683 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:23,719 Speaker 3: into an open man hole. But now we're sort of 684 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,200 Speaker 3: having a Halloween party down here. I don't know, it's 685 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:30,200 Speaker 3: not bad. There's like a traps bird down here, who's nice. 686 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:32,839 Speaker 1: That's like a lot of fun. 687 00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 3: If you want to come here. 688 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, you you'd have me. 689 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,680 Speaker 3: I mean, I'll talk to Jeff, I'll talk to the 690 00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:50,800 Speaker 3: to the bird. The trapp bird is pretty messed up, okay, point, 691 00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 3: but yeah, I'll talk to the guys, you know, text 692 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,799 Speaker 3: me having the the water's going crazy. It's kind of 693 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,080 Speaker 3: rising and falling, and I'm trying to keep my you know, 694 00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,040 Speaker 3: I just got that new phone case. I'm trying to 695 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 3: keep my phone clean. But you should be able to 696 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,520 Speaker 3: text me, you know, are you wrapping up? How's it going? 697 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:14,080 Speaker 1: Uh? I would say it's gone really good. 698 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,040 Speaker 3: Uh yeah. There are no like big gaps, there are 699 00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:18,560 Speaker 3: no like. 700 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,840 Speaker 1: There's no sort of odd or anything. There's not really 701 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,759 Speaker 1: been any sort of aimless stuff. The puppet interviews in 702 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:30,120 Speaker 1: particular really worked. They all sort of had an identity 703 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,720 Speaker 1: and it was like each one was a totally different, 704 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,400 Speaker 1: new kind of funny avenue that we found. 705 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,160 Speaker 3: And I'm I'm really glad to hear that. I mean, 706 00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 3: you know, I guess I could say this now that 707 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,640 Speaker 3: I know it went so while I was worried that 708 00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,200 Speaker 3: you would run out of gas. 709 00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:50,719 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, uh, well you know Friday. 710 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,440 Speaker 3: Now, because I'm so glad it went so great. But 711 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,920 Speaker 3: but I was, you know, I did wonder that. 712 00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:57,760 Speaker 1: When you heard that I was doing it by myself 713 00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:59,719 Speaker 1: and just me and the puppets, that you thought that 714 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:04,759 Speaker 1: maybe be that maybe even when I was interacting with 715 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:08,640 Speaker 1: the puppets, that it would probably frequently sound like the 716 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:12,120 Speaker 1: same voice talking to itself, and that it's just not. 717 00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,560 Speaker 3: That's not your you know, four K and I you 718 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,879 Speaker 3: know you're good at so many takes, but that that is. 719 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,960 Speaker 1: You know that I played to my weaknesses, that I 720 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:21,440 Speaker 1: played to my. 721 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,480 Speaker 3: Week each other, you know. 722 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,440 Speaker 1: But yeah, keeping track of it. 723 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,799 Speaker 3: But it went great, I guess it was. 724 00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,719 Speaker 1: It is great. Not taking nothing away from you, it's 725 00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:36,080 Speaker 1: maybe our best episode. And uh and I'm excited to 726 00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:39,200 Speaker 1: sort of bring what I learned today into us doing 727 00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:47,200 Speaker 1: stuff together again. And uh and so I'll come down. 728 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,399 Speaker 1: I'll get in the manhole. I mean, I'll just hop 729 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 1: in the manhole and uh and I'm sure the current 730 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,600 Speaker 1: will take me there. I you, as you know, also 731 00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,160 Speaker 1: have a new phone case, so maybe i'll put it 732 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,520 Speaker 1: in a little baggie or something. 733 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:01,319 Speaker 3: What's on your You were gonna show me what's on 734 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,759 Speaker 3: your new phone casey? 735 00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, that had been yeah, sort of a treat that 736 00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,040 Speaker 1: I was saving for the end of the episode. 737 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 3: Do you wanna, I mean, I'm sure you have all 738 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,399 Speaker 3: you know, it sounds like you have plenty of gas 739 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,520 Speaker 3: left if you want to just tell me, what's on it? 740 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:25,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, it's Oliver Stone. 741 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:32,839 Speaker 3: Oh wow, he's if he is he working on any 742 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,640 Speaker 3: specific one of his movies? 743 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:42,239 Speaker 1: Which one? W? 744 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:47,480 Speaker 3: Oh, it's W That sounds really nice. 745 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:53,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can tell it's W from his jacket. What 746 00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,480 Speaker 1: was on your phone case? I never did get to 747 00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:55,879 Speaker 1: see it. 748 00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:05,880 Speaker 3: That's those two lesbians, like from Muha lying on the 749 00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:10,840 Speaker 3: bed and there it's like those two lesbians of a 750 00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:12,919 Speaker 3: like lying down on a white bed and like they're 751 00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,640 Speaker 3: gonna kiss, you know the one. I have a poster 752 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:16,600 Speaker 3: of it as well. 753 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,359 Speaker 1: Yes, oh, from the poster. Wow. And they shrunk that 754 00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:21,239 Speaker 1: image town. 755 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,640 Speaker 3: I took a picture. No, I took a picture of 756 00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:27,480 Speaker 3: They can turn any picture into a phone case. So 757 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:32,800 Speaker 3: I took a picture of the poster using my phone, 758 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,120 Speaker 3: and you know, it's my home screen, but now it's. 759 00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:40,279 Speaker 1: On the back of my phone as well. And that 760 00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,239 Speaker 1: just reminds me of this life hack that I like 761 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,680 Speaker 1: to share whenever it comes up, because first and foremost 762 00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,680 Speaker 1: it is a show about life hacks. When you go 763 00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,759 Speaker 1: on Splash Mountain and they try to make you pay 764 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,120 Speaker 1: for a picture at the end where you're during the 765 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:57,480 Speaker 1: big splash, you don't have to friggin buy the picture 766 00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,680 Speaker 1: if you take a picture of a picture. 767 00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:06,880 Speaker 3: Yes, well, I'm I'm I'm really glad you called. 768 00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,120 Speaker 1: We're falling back into our old ways. 769 00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,719 Speaker 3: I know, I know, I'm I you know, I act 770 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:17,080 Speaker 3: like it's great down here, but I did, really I 771 00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:22,319 Speaker 3: missed this and it takes a big brave boy to 772 00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:26,799 Speaker 3: make that apology. And so thank you, well, thank you. 773 00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,279 Speaker 1: And now that you're admitting that maybe it's not quite 774 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,400 Speaker 1: as great down there in the sewer, I have a 775 00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:38,440 Speaker 1: little bit of a confession too. One of the puppet 776 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,920 Speaker 1: interviews wasn't super funny. 777 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:48,080 Speaker 3: Okay. Was it an early one or later one? 778 00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:50,520 Speaker 1: Honestly, take your pick. 779 00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:56,319 Speaker 3: Okay, take so take my pick, but only one of them. 780 00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can only feel like one wasn't funny 781 00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,719 Speaker 1: because they were all such different styles of humor that, 782 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,480 Speaker 1: you know, Okay, there's something for everyone in the episode, 783 00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:11,720 Speaker 1: but everyone will have one that is like because it's 784 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:18,720 Speaker 1: like a series of like really niche kind of comedic techniques. Okay, 785 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,680 Speaker 1: and so everyone's going to have one they love that 786 00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,000 Speaker 1: they feel like it's just for them, But everyone's also 787 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,200 Speaker 1: going to have one where they're like that one didn't work. 788 00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:28,440 Speaker 1: But it'll be different for everyone. 789 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,800 Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, well, I'm excited to hear it. I mean 790 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:37,320 Speaker 3: it's being released very soon. Yes, so hopefully there's enough 791 00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:42,680 Speaker 3: time to edit it before then, but I'm sure it won't. 792 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,680 Speaker 1: If it even needs that. Yeah. So okay, so, did 793 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:47,360 Speaker 1: you want to give the pro version to anyone before 794 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:47,680 Speaker 1: we go? 795 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? I guess I'll give it to this traps bird. 796 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:52,360 Speaker 1: Okay. 797 00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:57,320 Speaker 3: He seeds to think that the water is like the 798 00:57:57,360 --> 00:58:02,840 Speaker 3: sky now, so he keeps tried to like fly away 799 00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:03,920 Speaker 3: into the water. 800 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:09,840 Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, well, trapped bird, we salute you. 801 00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:20,960 Speaker 3: Bye bye. This has been an Earwolf production executive produced 802 00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,440 Speaker 3: by Scott Ackerman, Adam Sachs, and Chris Bannon. 803 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:31,560 Speaker 1: For more information and content, visit earwolf dot com.