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Speaker 1: This is the Freas Show.

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Speaker 2: Jane is taking over Las Vegas this January for his

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Speaker 2: seven night residency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've

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Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth

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Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty

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Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text

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Speaker 2: forever to three seven three three seven now for a

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Speaker 2: chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard

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Speaker 2: message of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation.

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Speaker 2: So a thirty four year old woman is demanding compensation

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Speaker 2: from her ex boyfriend who's thirty eight, for what she

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Speaker 2: says is stealing or I guess did steal. He did

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Speaker 2: steal her child bearing years. This is from Fox and

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Speaker 2: I'm not Fox News, So don't worry. I think this

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Speaker 2: is it. You don't have to stop listening for him.

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Speaker 2: Not that I would have anything to do with anything,

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Speaker 2: but it's like as soon as I say Fox, I

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Speaker 2: think people are like, oh no, Fox Local.

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Speaker 3: Every four year old woman is demanding her ex boyfriend

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Speaker 3: pay compensation, claiming he stole her child bearing yearsly a

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Speaker 3: decade together. She says her thirty eight year old X

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Speaker 3: into things just as she was ready to start a family.

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Speaker 3: She said she put her career and her goals on

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Speaker 3: hold believing they'd have kids, and now wants them to

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Speaker 3: cover fertility treatments like egg freezing or IVF. The story

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Speaker 3: from a New York Post has gone viral, sparking a debate.

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Speaker 3: Some call it justified, others say it's absurd to blame

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Speaker 3: an ex. Legal experts say her case wouldn't hold up

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Speaker 3: in court, but it is raising some questions about love

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Speaker 3: timing and who really pays the price when relationships in

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Speaker 3: So what do you think?

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Speaker 1: Does she have a point?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so this is my question because this is kind

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Speaker 2: of my demographic, Like I'm in my I guess mid forties. Now.

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Speaker 2: I love how To and I say this every time,

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Speaker 2: but was supplying makeup. I'm sorry, distracted me?

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, I just didn't want to get away. Should

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Speaker 2: I look over and there's this mess Scara? And oh well,

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Speaker 2: this is, for my aver, very distracting to me. Is

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Speaker 2: that not Messcara?

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Speaker 1: No, but I'll put it. What is it? It's eyebrow?

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Speaker 4: Joe?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, pass it over here. I got none.

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Speaker 2: I guess me too. Then I guess I feel now

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Speaker 2: I feel left out. I need some eyepa because I

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Speaker 2: can't move my arms, so I get you somewhere. Every

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Speaker 2: time I say that, management's like, you know, you shouldn't

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Speaker 2: say how old you are, Like, well, I've been here

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Speaker 2: for sixteen years, so like, I don't know. I feel

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Speaker 2: like people can do the math. I wasn't twelve when

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Speaker 2: I got here, but whatever, So, you know, mid thirties

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Speaker 2: is sort of it seems to be the appropriate age.

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Speaker 1: I think for me.

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Speaker 2: Maybe people would say, and I think that when I

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Speaker 2: meet people who are in their mid thirties, if they

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Speaker 2: want to have kids, they're very understandably, I wouldn't say,

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Speaker 2: well in various states of eagerness, I'll put it.

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Speaker 1: But I understand why.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like people kind of want to know, hey,

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Speaker 2: where's this going pretty quickly if they want to have

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Speaker 2: kids and don't have any. And it used to kind

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Speaker 2: of annoy me, but then I really sat back and

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Speaker 2: was like, well, no, I understand, like you there's only

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Speaker 2: so much time, and yes, you can freeze your eggs

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Speaker 2: and there's other things, but like just generally speaking, and yes,

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Speaker 2: people are gonna text me, oh, well you can have

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Speaker 2: a kid when you're fifty. Yes, I know, and people

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Speaker 2: are gonna text me, well this and that. I'm not

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Speaker 2: talking about the exceptions. I'm just saying generally speaking, you know,

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Speaker 2: early mid thirties or before people like to have kids,

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Speaker 2: I guess. And so if you're not sure, then that

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Speaker 2: could be a problem, because what if you date somebody

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Speaker 2: for two or three years, four or five years even,

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Speaker 2: and maybe you didn't freeze your eggs, then you get

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Speaker 2: to a certain point where you're at an age where

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Speaker 2: it would be more difficult to have kids safely. And

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Speaker 2: then I mean, whose fault is that. I don't think

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Speaker 2: you can't blame it on in this case, the guy.

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Speaker 2: But I also think that a guy should be thoughtful

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Speaker 2: about the fact that if that's something that you were

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Speaker 2: absolutely wanting to do, and the dude, if he knows

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Speaker 2: in his mind he absolutely doesn't want to do it,

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Speaker 2: and he's not telling you that because he doesn't want

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Speaker 2: you to go anywhere. That's wildly selfish. Now, should I

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Speaker 2: have to pay for your fertility?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: But like, let's say that this person brought up over

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Speaker 2: the course of that relationship, I want I want to

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Speaker 2: have I I want to freeze my eggs and he's like, Nah, no,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to do that. Well, that's messed up too,

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Speaker 2: because like that might be the only way, that might

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Speaker 2: be one of the only ways that you could have

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Speaker 2: a natural child, and and maybe oh yeah, I don't

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Speaker 2: want the expense or I don't want to deal with

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Speaker 2: the you know, the process, because I know even though

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Speaker 2: it's the woman who who endures most of that process,

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Speaker 2: I mean, a guy can help. But it's like as

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Speaker 2: far as all the different things that come with that,

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Speaker 2: there's a dude, a dude who says, don't don't freeze

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Speaker 2: your eggs because you don't want to deal with it

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Speaker 2: as the ultimate level of selfishness in my opinion.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, does a guy.

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Speaker 2: Does a man hold any level of responsibility eight five, five, five,

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Speaker 2: nine one one three five If he's dating a woman

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Speaker 2: who wants to have kids in a certain demographic and

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Speaker 2: and is not extremely vocal or extremely communicative about his intentions,

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Speaker 2: does the guy hold any responsibility Perhaps not financially, but

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Speaker 2: morally or ethically.

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Speaker 5: You're saying, I almost want to say yes, only because

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Speaker 5: a man will waste your time if you let him.

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Speaker 5: And I'm big on that, and I know, yeah, No,

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Speaker 5: that's very true. It's very true. But if you're a

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Speaker 5: woman and you know you want kids or you know

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Speaker 5: you want this, I do think, like in your heart,

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Speaker 5: like you have to decide if this is something that

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Speaker 5: you're gonna pursue or how long you're gonna stay in this.

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Speaker 5: You don't have to like tell the world like you

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Speaker 5: have tail years, but you can't say, like, I do

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Speaker 5: want children, and like if that's not something you want

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Speaker 5: or like we can do it by a certain time,

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Speaker 5: then like then this might not be for me, this relationship,

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Speaker 5: just because I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like already, like I'm a mom.

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Speaker 5: W Right, I'm thirty three, I'm a mom of a

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Speaker 5: one and a half year old, and I personally like

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Speaker 5: don't want children later.

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Speaker 1: I only want one.

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Speaker 5: But I also don't want kids later in life because

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Speaker 5: this is so hard already. I feel like a tea

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Speaker 5: mom some days and other days I feel like a

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Speaker 5: nanon because it's just like it's the hardest, most exhausting

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Speaker 5: thing ever.

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Speaker 1: So for me, if hobby was like over here, like well.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, like I'm not gonna let a man

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Speaker 5: anybody waste my time.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, for me, it's more nuanced than just like a

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Speaker 6: blanket yes or no. However, if I do think of

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Speaker 6: a dude as like constantly telling you that what he

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Speaker 6: wants and that's what the plan is, then yes, the

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Speaker 6: same way that he would want me to respect him

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Speaker 6: in that relationship, I would demand or I ask for,

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Speaker 6: at least that respect in return of the second you

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Speaker 6: know you don't want to do this with me, You know,

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Speaker 6: you have to be transparent about it. Now, if a

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Speaker 6: guy is never sure if he wants kids, then it's

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Speaker 6: on the woman.

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Speaker 2: You're entering that at your own risk. You know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, interrupt her. I don't mean to say to you.

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Speaker 2: I hate the counter argument. You know, guys do this well,

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Speaker 2: so do girls. I hate that argument, but it is true.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've been in different types of situations where

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Speaker 2: women are biding time dealing with things, but they don't

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Speaker 2: want me to go anywhere.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, yes, this happens.

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Speaker 2: So people do waste each other's time that, and they

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Speaker 2: do it in dating, and they do it on the

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Speaker 2: dating apps, and they do it in all forms relationships,

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Speaker 2: marriage otherwise. So you know, but in this particular case,

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Speaker 2: if a dude knows that he doesn't want to have

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Speaker 2: kids or or in this case, apparently he said to her.

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Speaker 1: This guy to his girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: He tells me he feels at thirty eight as though

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Speaker 2: he still has a decade of enjoying his lifestyle and

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Speaker 2: powering through with his career and is not ready for

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Speaker 2: marriage and children. But he knows that it's become a

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Speaker 2: priority for me, So he's off. So he broke up

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Speaker 2: with her as a result of it. I guess, And

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Speaker 2: now now you know she wants I guess, compensation or

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Speaker 2: something for this, which I have to be honest, based

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Speaker 2: on that quote, it doesn't sound like he misled her.

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Speaker 2: It just sounds it sounds like she always knew that

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Speaker 2: and hoped that he would change his mind and hedged

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Speaker 2: her bets, and now she had a position where it's

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Speaker 2: going to be a little bit more challenging and she's

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Speaker 2: mad about it. That's kind of what it sounds like.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think if a dude is like, yep,

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Speaker 2: I want to do it. I want kids, I want kids.

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Speaker 2: I want kids. I want kids, and then you know,

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Speaker 2: four or five years later, now I don't want kids.

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Speaker 2: That's his right, but I think you would have every

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Speaker 2: right to be really upset about it. Now, do you

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Speaker 2: get financial damages for that?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I wish you should, right, like you

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Speaker 1: should have.

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Speaker 7: Like a lot of women waste their time in relationships

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Speaker 7: and men may not understand how important it is that

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Speaker 7: time window. Like you have your child bearing years and

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Speaker 7: you waste them with a guy who was just leading

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Speaker 7: you on. But it doesn't seem like this guy was

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Speaker 7: leading her on. It seems like he was clear about

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Speaker 7: what he does want and what he doesn't want. And

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Speaker 7: you can't stick around hoping somebody's going to change their mind.

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Speaker 1: That's on you.

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Speaker 2: Well, then you can say, well, guys, had you know

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Speaker 2: you can. You can be Mick Jagger. You can have

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Speaker 2: kids until you're eighty years old.

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Speaker 1: You can.

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Speaker 2: But I suppose the same And here I go flip

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Speaker 2: in the argument again, which I really don't like that

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Speaker 2: as an argument tactic. But I mean, I could date

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Speaker 2: someone for five years and then wind up being five

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Speaker 2: years older than I wanted to be having kids, and

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Speaker 2: then it turns out we don't have kids and break

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Speaker 2: up and now I have to start over, which means

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Speaker 2: a couple more years maybe to meet someone else, and

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Speaker 2: then get to the point where so now I'm five six, seven, eight,

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Speaker 2: ten years older than I wanted to be having kids,

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Speaker 2: and now I'm a really old dad. I mean, so

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Speaker 2: I it's not physiologically impossible for a man, but I

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Speaker 2: still run the risk of it not lining up with

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Speaker 2: how I wanted my life to be.

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Speaker 1: I can't sue for that, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I mean each other? Yeah, let's just in each other time.

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Speaker 1: So Eric, what's up? Eric?

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Speaker 8: Hey?

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Speaker 1: We doing? Hey?

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Speaker 2: Man? So what do you if a woman dates a

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Speaker 2: guy in her mid thirties wants to have kids, and

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Speaker 2: after years, you know, he decides, you know what, I

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Speaker 2: don't want kids? And uh, even if he said he

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Speaker 2: wanted kids previously and then they break up, I mean,

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Speaker 2: does he have any kind of moral or ethical or

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Speaker 2: financial obligation? I mean, I know this is kind of

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Speaker 2: a ridiculous question, but on the financial front, but like

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Speaker 2: I mean, is he responsible in some ways for the

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Speaker 2: position that she finds herself in late thirties and no kids.

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Speaker 4: No, I don't think he old or anything financially, but

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Speaker 4: you definitely morally, if someone wants kids and you don't,

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Speaker 4: you definitely should let them know up front. If it's

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Speaker 4: a situation where the two just split and she feels

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Speaker 4: that she wasted her time, then it's her choice to

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Speaker 4: stay in that relationship. She definitely could have frozen her eggs.

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Speaker 4: I think a woman has the right to do that

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Speaker 4: without asking a guy. So she still had played a

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Speaker 4: part in it as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting. I guess she very easily could have

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Speaker 2: just gone ahead with that. And yeah, she didn't need

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Speaker 2: him to say one way or the other weather she

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Speaker 2: should or shouldn't do it, unless she was expecting him

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Speaker 2: to pay for it for some reason. But yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean I've dated people who are in the process of

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Speaker 2: freezing their eggs, who who did before did right after.

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Speaker 2: We I mean, that's something you don't need me for that,

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Speaker 2: You don't need my certainly don't need my permission for

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Speaker 2: that either.

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Speaker 4: Exactly exactly, So, so he definitely should just go ahead

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Speaker 4: and do that if you want to. But at the

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Speaker 4: same time, though, I don't think he owes her anything financially.

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Speaker 4: But definitely, guys don't hold up women. Yeah, if you

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Speaker 4: know you want to have kids, just go for it

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Speaker 4: and do it.

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Speaker 1: All right, Eric, thank you, have a good.

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Speaker 2: Day, Lovely to I've walked from a lot of early

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Speaker 2: situations that I never saw developed because it seemed that

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Speaker 2: the she wanted kids so badly and I was unsure

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Speaker 2: that I thought it was unfair, and so it's possible

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Speaker 2: I could have changed my mind. But again, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm respectful of the fact and aware of the

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Speaker 2: fact that it only would become more difficult depending on

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Speaker 2: your age. So like I'm holding you up in some ways.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's not fair to her.

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Speaker 2: No, But is it worth ending a relationship that could

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Speaker 2: have been I mean, was I a little maybe over

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Speaker 2: sensitive to it on your behalf or was I a

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Speaker 2: little reactive to it in some strength? And I'm not

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Speaker 2: saying I'm a hero by any means, but I just mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, did I wind up? Did we wind up

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Speaker 2: not pursuing something that could have been great? And it

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Speaker 2: could have led to that because I was concerned with

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Speaker 2: with you not meeting your needs and being resentful to

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Speaker 2: me for it. Hey, Jessica, Yes, Hi, good morning. Final,

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Speaker 2: Say what do you want to say?

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Speaker 8: I I I definitely think that there's some sort of

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Speaker 8: case for holding them financially responsible. This happened to my sister.

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Speaker 8: She was with a guy for eleven years from twenty

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Speaker 8: four to thirty six, and he just up and left her.

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Speaker 8: But the whole time they had talked about it, like

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Speaker 8: she wanted multiple kids. He wasn't really into multiple kids.

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Speaker 8: But yeah, we'll have at least one kid. Yeah, let's

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Speaker 8: have kids. She's like, well, she had some health issues.

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Speaker 8: Maybe I should freeze my eggs. Do you like that

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Speaker 8: sort of thing?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 8: No, well you know we're gonna we'll get into that.

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Speaker 8: We'll get into that over and over and over again

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Speaker 8: for years, and then just up and left her. And

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Speaker 8: here she is now, like thirty seven years old, trying

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Speaker 8: to start over again. She still wants kids, but now

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Speaker 8: you have to start over, you have to find a

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Speaker 8: partner that you trust and like and all of these things.

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Speaker 8: And now, because of those health issues, is she going

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Speaker 8: to be able to have kids in what is now

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Speaker 8: after thirty five considered a geriatric pregnancy, So it's they

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Speaker 8: is really a hard situation, but it is definitely need

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Speaker 8: to take that into consideration.

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Speaker 2: Because Mary, he genuinely was on the fence and didn't

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Speaker 2: want to. I mean, and I'm not defending him, I

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Speaker 2: don't know him, but maybe he was genuinely on the fence,

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Speaker 2: didn't want to lose her, and then you find yourself

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Speaker 2: at a point of no return, where it's now you

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Speaker 2: look like a jacka but like you genuinely. Maybe he

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Speaker 2: really didn't know, or maybe he hoped that he would

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Speaker 2: come around to the idea. I think we all take

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Speaker 2: risks in dating and in relationships and on the dating

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Speaker 2: apps and everything else, and I think, you know, unfortunately

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Speaker 2: this is a place that you can find yourself. But

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Speaker 2: I think that the key is, you know, and I'm

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Speaker 2: not saying your sister did anything wrong, but maybe she

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Speaker 2: should have just proceeded with some of these backup plans

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Speaker 2: on her own and did not and not wait for

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Speaker 2: him to decide what she should or shouldn't do or

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Speaker 2: or you know. It's almost like creating a backup plan

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Speaker 2: ahead of time by freezing your eggs.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 8: But some people I think miscon true that backup plan

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Speaker 8: as like disloyalty or you know, or not having faith

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Speaker 8: in that relationship. And I think that's probably which is

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Speaker 8: not right at all. But that's probably what he would

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Speaker 8: have thought and why he pressured her not all so

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Speaker 8: much to not do those things, because then he thought, well,

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Speaker 8: then why are you making a backup plan for not

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Speaker 8: being with me.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's complicated, Jessica. Thank you. Have a good day. Yep,

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Speaker 1: you Cuba. You got a date multiple what so that

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Speaker 1: you wind up having a kid going on Maury. You

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Speaker 1: don't know whose kid it is.

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Speaker 7: You know who kidd it is, the one who wanted

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Speaker 7: to have one, but you probably.

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Speaker 1: Several. You know, I want to give it to somebody else.

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Speaker 2: You know what I was about to say here, we

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Speaker 2: are not solving the world's problems, and then Kiki says, so,

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Speaker 2: we're definitely not solving the

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Speaker 1: Way More Fred Show next right here,