WEBVTT - VAN LATHAN - Angola State Grilled Cheese Part 2 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:03.200 Yo, I talk a lot. I know sometimes it could 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:04.880 be hard to follow me. But if you don't listen 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:09.959 to anything else, I say, listen to this. These people 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:15.200 don't give a fuck about you. We didn't talked like 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.000 your dad has passed away. I done took you outside 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.000 the office, We've talked about it, We've gone through all 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:23.640 of this. You wouldn't do this to me. Not only 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:28.720 will they, they're going to Yeah, like they're going to 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:32.040 do it. It's like they're going to do you. You 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:35.240 You're gonna get done. You will be done like something 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:38.680 like if you are, if you are making the track 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:44.519 towards being somebody important or influential, somebody is going to 0:00:44.560 --> 0:01:12.360 do you. There's no magic or sinister story to a divorce. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:15.640 Sometimes it don't work out. It just doesn't work out. 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:17.959 But you want to believe certain people will never be 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:23.360 happy because their lifestyles are antithetical to happiness in a relationship. 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:28.200 So you want to you want to believe like like you, 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.360 like you, you you. You want to believe that right. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.360 You want to believe that teams gives you that. In 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.080 order to do that, TMZ has to treat those people 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.560 like they're not people. They have to treat them as 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:45.160 if their concepts celebrity is not a person. 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.480 That's why I guess TMZ comes off a little bit 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:49.600 invasive and ruthless. 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:51.640 Right, Well, no, because they're. 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.240 They're not treating they're they're treating them kind of like. 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.320 Well, you have to write like even even the TMZ 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:59.160 tour was a celebrity safari, Like what's on a safari? 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:01.920 Animals animals, right. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:05.000 And so and so like when when you like the 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.120 tours celebrities for its animals, right, and so you do that, 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.680 right and what you what you say is okay, Well, 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:12.720 in order to be a celebrity, the game is pr 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.040 at its base, right, So this is what you sign 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:19.400 up for kind of right, because like there are certain 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.080 things that you don't sign up for. I'll never talk 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:25.600 I'll never I'll never forget this. There was the sister 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:29.560 of a celebrity that had that had had something taught 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:31.680 done to them. I'll never forget. I'm not gonna talk 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.200 about who I had the conversation with. I'm like, yo, 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:39.320 we shouldn't do that. And they did the story and 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.480 this dude went on fucking and let us fucking happ 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.079 and I was like, yo, we had to take it 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:45.920 down and apologize and do all that stuff. I like, yo, 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.080 like there's a limit to this. And that's not me 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.160 making a moral judgment on team team. I'm just telling 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:53.280 you the way things go. So like when you know 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:57.440 all of that, when you have an idea of what 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:04.640 drives that, Like obviously they're moral. There are things that 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:07.200 you have to not care about to work there. But 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:10.120 most of the people there are good people. They're just 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:12.720 desensitized to whatever was going on there because that's where 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:15.639 they work. Like like that, like that's what they do. 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.000 I'm there. It's the same thing. Things are coming in 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.280 at a certain point you go, god damn, you know, 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.480 and it's there will be little small things. This is 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.120 a football player that had this video come out of 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:31.400 some altercation. It was in and it said savage beating 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.200 by this and I was just looking at the hellline. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.600 I'm like, that's I don't think we should go savage 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:40.320 beating there, Like I think savage is like a it's 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.600 like an interesting way or there's just little small things. 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.640 The mayor of DC died, Maror Marion Barry Crack Mayor 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:54.200 Marion Barry dies like he died and like by the 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:55.640 way the people in DC are going to freak the 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:57.080 funk out because I don't know if you guys know, 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.680 but Marion Barry was with Martin Luther King Junior like 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:04.520 where I'm from, Like I deal with a group of people, 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:08.200 a community, people that are always categorized by the worst 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:12.760 moment that they have. And I don't feel comfortable with 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.200 categorizing a man that means so much to his city 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:18.640 by the worst, most scandalous thing he ever had. You 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.279 can't talk about his life without talking about that, but 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:25.039 maybe in the headline you don't do that. So it 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:27.440 so all of those things start to start to happen. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:31.320 And so for me, what the place represents, it's not 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:35.800 even so much a bunch of not even so much 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:37.880 a bunch of moral people that are running around trying 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:43.200 to get the dirt on celebrities. It represents our relationship 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:47.440 to celebrity and our relationship to ourselves, because there's no 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:52.000 fucking reason whatsoever why we should spend so much time 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:54.440 talking about what happens in the lives of famous people. 0:04:55.000 --> 0:05:00.320 It just really like, at its core, it just doesn't matter. 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.159 And even to this day on the podcast, I still 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.600 do it, and the reason why I still do it. 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:11.320 I don't get the stories, but you try to extrapolate 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.800 larger conversations out of these things and talk about them 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:17.400 with notable people. But really it's just the need to 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.000 talk about things that people care about, and for whatever reason, 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:21.839 people care about celebrity and fame. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:27.960 Okay, can that makes sense? So going back to your story, Yeah, 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:31.880 so you're at TMZ for nine years, you said, and 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.240 then what happens after that? 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:34.599 After that? 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.160 Wait, what happened with your ending in TMZ? 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.560 I got fired for what? An altercation inside the office 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:44.600 with a white boy? 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:46.600 You say altercation? No hands? 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:48.400 They say I use hands? 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.080 They say you used hands? Did you use hands? 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:55.600 Yeah, not in any real way. 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.160 I mean not in a real way. What did you 0:05:59.240 --> 0:05:59.640 like that? 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:03.720 Or like, no, I'm not gonna smack nobody. See, I 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:07.640 would never This is the funny thing that would never happen, Right. 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.680 That would never happen. You said, a white boy. I'm like, 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.600 maybe you went light on him, you smacked him. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:16.080 This guy was my guy, still is my guy. He's 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:21.719 a Republican. Whatever tell you what happened. I'm an emotional person. 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:23.560 I can kind of see that. 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:28.920 Very true. Uh, they they wanted me to talk about. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:30.520 There's only one thing I don't want to talk about, 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.920 Hurricane Katrina. I just don't want to talk about it. 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.080 Like even saying the name Hurricane Katrina, like right now, 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:38.280 it makes me want to cry. I just don't want 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:39.520 to talk about it, don't want think about I want 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:41.040 to talk about don't want talk about it. I don't 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:46.760 It's very tough, very hard. And there was this story 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:49.960 that had gone on in the newsroom earlier where George 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.240 Bush was being cool with like Ellen DeGeneres, that's some 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:54.520 football games, and I was like, it doesn't matter what 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.240 you guys say about George Bush. I don't give a 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:57.680 fuck that he paints. I don't give a fuck that 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:02.000 show Obama like George Bush, fuck George Bush forever, Like 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.599 it doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck. Who's the 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.920 who's worse fucking forever wheels in the water. He didn't care. 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:12.760 The way it goes like, Hey, we're gonna bring this 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:14.400 back and you're so passionate about it, and the thing 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.800 it's like, guys, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:18.600 I told you. I want to talk about guys, and 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:22.440 I want talk about like, no I'm like, I'm like, please, Pa, 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:24.040 I'm like, please, I don't want to I want to 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:27.560 discuss it. I'm here, I do everything. I've been the 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:30.520 funny nigga for a long time. I've been the I do. 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.920 I'm the Swiss Army Knife of niggas. I'm the funny nigga. 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:36.320 I'm the basketball nigga. I'm the who look at the 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:39.040 ass nigga. I'm like all that I've been. This just 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:40.640 I'm saying, don't don't. I don't want to talk about it. 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:44.080 You gotta do it, fam we need you. Okay. So 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:45.520 I get on there and I'm talking my whole thing, 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:48.200 and this guy out there hosting the show, he's cutting 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:51.640 me off, and he's speaking to me in a way 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:54.000 that I don't like. Anytime you speak to me in 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.040 a way that I don't like, we have a conversation 0:07:56.120 --> 0:08:00.920 about it, Okay, is it? So? This is genially how 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.080 this happened. I challenge anyone to watch the video. Guys 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:07.240 up there, he's sitting down, he's doing the show. I 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:11.200 know him now. I know him like we're friends, and 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:14.760 we're friends. Now he's up there and he's doing the show. 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.840 He's done this already, and I don't want to yell 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.760 at him across the newsroom make a big scene. So 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:23.000 I go up to him while he's sitting down, and 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.760 I put my hands on his shoulders, and you can 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:27.640 see me on the video. I'm whispering into his ear. 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:30.320 I'm whispering into his ear. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:33.520 Does he turn around and do the whole big scene? Nah? 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:35.679 He turns around and he moves his hand from off 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.199 my shoulder and I'm moving and then and then I 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.040 whispering to his ear, and I say, and you can 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.120 see me leaving. I pat him on the side. You 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.120 can see me leaving, and I do like this, and 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:46.960 I walk back. The last thing I said to him 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.880 was not something that you should say to somebody in 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:55.600 the office. He stood up and I was like, whatever, 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:56.120 I don't. 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:57.319 Even want to hear it. 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:59.080 The last thing that I said is something. And so 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.560 when I said that, Charles said, Van go home. 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:02.920 What did you say? 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:03.680 No? 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.840 So like so the I mean, the last thing was 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:10.240 a threat. It was no, no, no, that wasn't. 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:15.000 A it was a lights out. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.079 The last thing was a threat. It wasn't a threat 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.640 as in I'm gonna do something to h It was 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:23.520 a threat. As in, these are my limits. 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:24.960 Yeah, don't cross that line again. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:29.079 Yeah, you know, and and that's probably too far for Charles. 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:31.040 Charles Charles goes Van, go home. That's the last time 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.480 I was ever in TMZ. It was funny because when 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.000 they called me, I knew I was gonna have to 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:36.640 it was gonna have to bench be for a little while, right, 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:41.120 uh that Yeah, so listen, it's funny. So I'm on 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:44.720 the thing and I'm like, I'm one of the phone 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.200 with the HR people and they go, yeah, did you 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:53.839 choke him? And I went wait what And they were 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.400 like yeah, did you put your hands around his neck? 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:02.920 And I was like oh, And I was like, guys, 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:11.640 this is Van. Hey, it's me. Circus Bear like, hey, 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:15.000 it's Vans. This is Van. Think about what you're asking me. 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:17.400 Think about if you're asking me whether or not I 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:21.160 choked Mike in front of the whole newsroom. It's me. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.840 I know you guys as children, I'd be around y'all 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:30.640 like it's Van, Hey, it's me. Now come back the 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.160 whole thing. I was like, oh, they about to do me, 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:40.480 and they did. And it was like the funny thing 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:47.920 about it was so all of these conversations. It's like 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:54.040 stuff happens. I end up being terminated. Karen, my manager, 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:57.240 like automatically has stuff. So we're taking all kinds of meanings. 0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:59.719 We're doing all kinds of stuff. Nobody guys is off 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:03.320 me right, we're doing the same stuff. Because literally my 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:06.280 contract was up at TMZ in about four more weeks, 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:10.280 and I had already told them I wasn't resigning, So 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:11.440 if they thought they would have had me for a 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:12.960 longer term, there's no way they would have fired me. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:15.800 But it's like whatever, this is a way to try 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.320 to maybe save some money, get off from under it. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:23.440 This is cool. So my it starts to get around 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:27.600 the office that I'm not coming back. So my coworkers 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:31.040 throw me a going away party, including the guy that 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.839 I supposedly chose who comes to the going away party. 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:39.680 And after that that was on a Saturday, pictures go 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:43.400 up on Instagram. On Monday, Paid six calls me and 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.960 we heard that you got fired. We heard that you 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:49.240 got fired. We heard it there was some kind of 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.400 office altercation. We heard there was all of this stuff, 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:54.480 and I'm like fuck. Now, I'm like god, damn. Now 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:58.320 I'm the six foot fourth scary nigga, are you six four? 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.800 Don't play? And so and so and so. Now I'm 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:07.280 like and so. Now I'm like six foot er er 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.800 And they put up an article and the article was 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:17.680 like super it went soft on me. Everybody loves fan 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.839 and all of this stuff like that. TMZ got their 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:25.760 asses kicked. Everybody was coming at them, like everybody. And 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:29.960 so then the next day the office struck back. And 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:31.800 this is the one of the most important moments of 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:37.880 my career. Yo, I talk a lot. I know sometimes 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:39.439 it could be hard to follow me. But if you 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.520 don't listen to anything else, I say, listen to this. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:50.120 These people don't give a fuck about you. They don't 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.960 tell you what we do as black people. Sometimes what 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:57.400 we do is like the record label becomes a crew 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:03.360 and a family. Yeah, the production group becomes a crew 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.400 and a family. We gotta sign, we got a logo, 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:07.880 we got all of this stuff and boom boom boom, 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.120 boom boom, and we cool. I know your kids, I 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.280 know I know all of these people around you. We 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:16.679 didn't talked like your dad has passed away. I done 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.800 took you outside the office. We've talked about it. We've 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:21.920 gone through all of this. You wouldn't do this to me. 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:27.680 Not only will they They're going to Yeah, like they're 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.480 going to do it. It's like they're going to do you. 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.680 You're gonna get done. You will be done like something 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.080 like if you are if you are making the track 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:43.960 towards being somebody important or influential, somebody is going to 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:47.920 do you. You will be done. So the question is 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.240 for you is how are you gonna respond to it? 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:54.520 As much naive? This is coming from a man at 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.840 that time who was thirty nine years old. I didn't 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.720 think they would do me that way. And the reason 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.240 why I didn't think they would do me that way, 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.600 it's not because it's because yo, I know these people. 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:05.839 It's to the point to me to where if I 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:07.640 if I pick up your baby and hold your baby, 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.520 I'm from ban Rouge. If I pick up your baby, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.200 if I don't fuck with you and get that little 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.440 nigg away from me. But like if if I pick 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.200 up your baby and hold your baby and all your 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:16.800 wife and I've been to your crib and all of 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:19.200 that stuff, I'm thinking that there's gonna be a point 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.440 where where somebody's gonna want to make me look in 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.280 a certain way and somebody's gonna go, we can't do 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:23.560 that to that. 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.760 Yeah, but does it also make you wonder like kind 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.240 of going back to the Jesus days, like the whole Judas, 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.840 like which one like with that piece of advice or 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:35.840 that's that statement? Do you think that people should be 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:39.160 also double looking over, like which one of their crew 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:40.680 is gonna be the one that kisses. 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.600 Them on the cheek? No? No, do you know what 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:49.200 we forget about Judas? What that he got paid? 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:52.800 The money is the Judas I understand. 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.160 So so hear me out. 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.440 So the roote is always gonna be in the the 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:00.840 industry in itself, the. 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:06.200 Root, the what pulls you apart, what brings you together 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:09.640 with these people is the commerce, and what pulls you 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:13.120 apart is the commerce. Yeah. Sure they liked me, but 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:16.000 I was good for business. Yeah you know what I mean. Yeah, 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:19.840 they liked me. They definitely liked me. But I was funny, 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:25.000 and I was smart, and I was devastatingly handsome, and 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:27.240 I was and I was all of those they like. 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:30.240 They they liked me, but I was good for business 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:32.800 and a lot of the things that I got away 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.600 with there I wouldn't have gotten away with if I 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:40.960 wasn't good for business, and at that point I was 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:42.360 bad for business. 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.840 But they threw the mud back on you, right. 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:48.200 So I was bad for business. And the moment that 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.280 I became bad for business, we talked about it before, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:54.560 was not a person anymore. It's like a thing. So Judas, Yeah, 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:56.920 he did what he did. They paid him thirty pieces 0:15:56.960 --> 0:16:01.560 of silver. The thing is going to get you. Just 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.720 be prepared for the thing, the thing when you're no longer, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.120 when they no longer have to protect you. First of all, 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.160 anybody who doesn't have to protect you won't. That's the 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:17.080 first thing. And secondly, if you're a threat to the money. 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:32.840 Your toast. 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.120 So at that point everybody is making them look bad. 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.440 They're like they don't want to be embarrassed. People are 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.120 asking if TMZ is racist. People are starting to say 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.680 the TMZ fire Van because vancd to Kanye West. It's 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:46.760 all of this stuff. If somebody would have got on 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.560 the phone with me, I swear to God, if somebody 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.080 would have called me and be like, Van, we're taking 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:53.200 a beating. Is there something you can say? I'd have 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:56.400 done him a solid because that's out of done them 0:16:56.400 --> 0:17:00.240 a solid because I had no fucking problem with being 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.600 where I was. It was all cool. I had everything 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:03.040 set up. 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.680 So oh that's what that was gonna be My next question. 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.080 So y, what was your mindset at when all of 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:09.880 this was going on? 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.720 I started having heart problems? 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.199 Well I thought you just said that. What do you 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.480 mean while were you having heart problems? 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.800 It was stressed out? Okay, sorry. Like when I say 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.119 I started having heart problems, it's like there's something called 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:29.359 preventricular contractions. It's like a skipping of the beat. Like, uh, 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:35.000 I was so stressed that I was like to play 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.240 basketball very active. I was so stressed that my heart 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.080 started missing timing. It was boom boom boomoom boom boom boom. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.679 When you were stressed over what just the whole transition 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.000 and where your next road was going. 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:47.480 Yeah, the whole deal. Okay, think about it right, like 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:50.320 the whole deal. But here's the deal though. I say 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:57.720 all this to say this. People look for God in 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.360 like the sky. Sometimes God is on the ground too, 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:04.440 and he's like right where you're walking. I had to 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.440 go through that, you know why, because I had to 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.720 put people through that. I had to go through that 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:16.639 because I had written and hit publish on headlines that 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.399 had made people feel that way. I had got on 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:23.280 TV and talked about people in a way that made 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:26.320 them go, shit, these people don't know me. I had 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:30.920 been a part of stories that like portrayed people in 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:34.480 a light that's not quite accurate to who they actually 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:36.359 are without me really knowing them. I had been a 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:36.760 part of that. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.000 So but you had, You've been a part of it 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.879 without the relationship. It's different. Obviously if you have the 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.200 relationship and you're pushing the published button, that all. 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:49.320 Feels the same because like for me seeing me on 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:51.760 page six and seeing me going through all of this 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.320 stuff and me going, hey, guys, you guys know me. 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.280 This is not the thing. This is not the deal, 0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:00.320 seeing something out of context played up. All all the 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:05.040 little micro feelings about black men are right there, Which 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.200 is a maritime before Van snapped, It's a maritime before 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.960 Van hurt somebody. This was a maaratime before he showed 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:12.720 us who he really is. Remember, when a white person 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:16.480 does something wrong, it's somebody who did something wrong. When 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.760 a black person does something wrong, they're showing us who 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.320 they really are the whole time. So it's so all 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.760 of this stuff. It's like I went through that and 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:27.399 I was like, Okay, cool, no more of that for me. 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.119 I have to feel that, like I'm not one of 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:32.600 those persons. I always get caught when I do something wrong. 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:36.520 I always it always comes back to me. He don't 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.320 want me to escape without feeling it. Yeah, so it 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.640 always comes back to me. And I could not leave 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.359 there having done the Kanye thing and looked like some 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:48.760 kind of big deal or whatever. I could not have 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.080 left there without being on the other side of a headline. 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.640 And so that's the way it went. Take the lesson, 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:57.440 move on, continue to do dope shit, do as much 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:01.800 as you can, but like it. And also, you know, 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:04.480 I'd been to grilled Cheese Land already. If I had 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:06.640 to go back there again, I could. 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:12.080 Now that you're older, do you, It's I've been to 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.920 the broke land. But I promise you I'm terrified of 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:16.760 going back. But I meet so many people on this 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:20.359 show that'll be like, I'll fall bankruptcy, I'll go back again. 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.040 I'm not worried about it. You're not at that phase 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.200 where you really genuinely don't want to go back. 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.399 To me, I can't go back now. I could. If 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.359 I had to go back, it would happen, right, But 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:32.200 I can't go back now. Why do you see that 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.720 we lost dad? So we lost dad in twenty twenty one, 0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:40.160 and it just changed, like it changed everything, like when 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:42.360 we lost them, when we lost the old man. It's 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:46.399 like I remember when you get the news. I go 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:49.000 to ban Rouge and right away people start asking me 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:52.000 stuff and it really didn't matter. I'm not used to 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.440 people asking me stuff like in a family way, and 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:59.760 then my decision being what they do and shout out 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:02.680 to know, man, like you know, Bill goes So, I 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:07.000 the guy work with at the Ringer. Bill like hit Bill. 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:09.760 I'm like Bill goes Hey. He's like man, He's like 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:12.479 he's honest with me right there. He's like, man, I'm 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:15.040 telling you right now, when you go down there, now, 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:17.000 it's gonna be different, Like you're going to have to 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:19.040 be the guy. And I'm not saying that I am 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:19.920 the guy in my family. 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:22.159 I'm just saying that, Like, you're also the youngest, aren't you. 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:26.879 Yeah, I'm the youngest, but I'm also I mean, in 0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:30.400 terms of this immediate family, I want to parse apart 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:36.000 all my family dynamics. But like they rely on me, 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:42.080 so it it so because of that now it's not even. 0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:43.479 Now. 0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:45.840