Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision. Welcome
Speaker 1: to horror black decision.
Speaker 2: Your you serenated that better than the niggasday on stage
Speaker 2: for our dating game.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like my vocals is coming. By
Speaker 3: the way, you pus see as Hosey to stop going
Speaker 3: to episode one and tell me how much my voice
Speaker 3: didn't change. It's called puberty. Anyways, Welcome y'all to Horrible Decisions. Bitch,
Speaker 3: I'm your girl. Maybe b aka Petta Saton aka Pegga
Speaker 3: Marco aka Bull Corps aka Debt bitch was Welcome back, y'all.
Speaker 3: My name is Weezy and it's just us today. Just
Speaker 3: how you like it.
Speaker 1: Oh God, a third h.
Speaker 2: Just for full transparency, we are recording this in the
Speaker 2: year from the past, not the year from the past.
Speaker 2: Year from the past, it's history.
Speaker 3: However, we wanted you to have an episode with just
Speaker 3: of us at the top, just us at the top
Speaker 3: of the year because we're your phase. So for the catchup,
Speaker 3: I did want us to start off with some bit
Speaker 3: of Manifest This showns y'all know, I just learned about
Speaker 3: manifest in last year, well this year, but this last year.
Speaker 3: Now but I said, let's talk about the things I
Speaker 3: would say, relationship wise and sex wise. Okay, that maybe
Speaker 3: we didn't get in twenty twenty three that we would
Speaker 3: like in twenty twenty four, and also maybe just the
Speaker 3: things that we won't go back to with both of
Speaker 3: us having ended relationships. I wanted to start off with, like,
Speaker 3: what do you manifest your love life to be in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four?
Speaker 1: Weezy and action.
Speaker 2: I want to manifest being on the same page. I
Speaker 2: had great sex in twenty twenty three towards the end,
Speaker 2: just summer and beyond. I dated a celibate nig in
Speaker 2: the beginning, and then I got the shit fucked out
Speaker 2: of me towards again great hope, I still am getting
Speaker 2: the shit fucked out of me.
Speaker 1: I's on the digger so too.
Speaker 2: I think I also with like another experience with a
Speaker 2: woman where she doesn't shit on me, that'd be great.
Speaker 2: Uh honestly, it's I know it's like love and sex.
Speaker 2: But one thing I really want to manifest I want
Speaker 2: to live in Paris. For a few months, you've been
Speaker 2: saying that, I think this will be the year that happens.
Speaker 2: I think I need that, and I think that this
Speaker 2: will be the year I've been saying I want a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I think in a family and kids, I think a
Speaker 2: boyfriend is actually all I want.
Speaker 1: Right now, right now, right now. Hey, Duayne dropped the
Speaker 1: bomb drop right here.
Speaker 3: Wait what I been you You've been talking about being
Speaker 3: preded like Sacy rad for the last two years.
Speaker 1: Bitch, what you mean? What you mean now?
Speaker 2: Not like Sexy Ray. I just realized, like I don't know,
Speaker 2: I live in two cities. I kind of feel like
Speaker 2: my life's a little flighty, and I want to have
Speaker 2: a baby eventually, but like, I don't know, I just
Speaker 2: was so sure that i'd meet that person, and now
Speaker 2: I just want to enjoy that person. Just knowing that
Speaker 2: I've been dating somebody that like, I'm still having fun with.
Speaker 2: I don't even even if the person that I'm gonna
Speaker 2: end up with forever or my baby daddy is in
Speaker 2: my life right.
Speaker 1: Now, I think I just need a second Okay.
Speaker 2: And I've realized that last year really was taxing on
Speaker 2: my body with travel, with touring, and I know we're
Speaker 2: not touring this year or anything, but it was like
Speaker 2: a lot and just having to take care of my
Speaker 2: parents in LA. But now I'm in New York at
Speaker 2: least it's not Orlando, right, So I'm doing my thing.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, where is a baby gonna come in
Speaker 2: the mix? Like I don't know, And I really want
Speaker 2: to just keep having fun. But I don't want to
Speaker 2: have casual fun. I do want to like have someone
Speaker 2: that I'm pouring into and that I'm going to be
Speaker 2: having some commitment back from that to me feels worth it.
Speaker 2: Like I have fun with my friends every time I
Speaker 2: vacation with them, Visa, Africa, whatever.
Speaker 1: Fuck. You know what I'm saying. I do.
Speaker 2: I live my life having fun. Actually, you know it's funny.
Speaker 2: I was talking to one of my homeboys who has
Speaker 2: a fortieth birthday this.
Speaker 1: Year, and I was like, what we are.
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 1: But I was like, yo, what do you want to do?
Speaker 1: And he was like, I just want to show with
Speaker 1: my friends?
Speaker 2: And he was like, may we get lit whenever we want?
Speaker 2: Like we live a dope ass life, Like I don't
Speaker 2: need that much. And I was like, damn, that makes
Speaker 2: me think about like a bachelorette party. If I was
Speaker 2: getting married, what would I wanted to be Like He's like,
Speaker 2: we have that every weekend, any one time we want,
Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, like it's a blessing to
Speaker 2: live this fucking life. So I think for me, I
Speaker 2: just want to have amazing experiences with a partner. Like
Speaker 2: I'm kind of tired of traveling with my friends. I
Speaker 2: know you're not, but I am. I like getting fucked
Speaker 2: on vacation.
Speaker 3: Bitch, I'm doing solo chirts even that, Like I do
Speaker 3: a lot of solo vacation right and like.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of bored with it. And it's funny.
Speaker 2: One of my homegirls told me I could be happy
Speaker 2: as long as I just have money to travel the world.
Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, I've been doing that the last three years,
Speaker 2: and trust me, it's but then there's nothing.
Speaker 3: What else is then? If that's fun, only get fucked
Speaker 3: on that trip? Oh okay, let's see.
Speaker 1: My old twenties was getting sucked on trips.
Speaker 3: So I'm like enjoying being able to fund my own
Speaker 3: trips and be with friends and do exactly what I
Speaker 3: want to do when I want to do it how
Speaker 3: I want to do it. Because a lot of my
Speaker 3: twenties was on other people's times. Yeah, so I'm in
Speaker 3: that space where I'm enjoying, like all the trips that
Speaker 3: I plan to make twenty twenty four, Japan will be
Speaker 3: the international trip that was my That's because bitch, I
Speaker 3: eat im a sushi. I'm like, bitch, why are you
Speaker 3: thinking to go to motherfucking Japan? Bitch, you gonna get
Speaker 3: a lot of beef. That's that's I will not it's
Speaker 3: the state.
Speaker 1: Why not? I don't do beef like that? Do you
Speaker 1: wag you little tiny peces? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I'll do the little time. It's like the
Speaker 3: best I'm not gonna do like no state state. But
Speaker 3: it's also like it's the same price as like a
Speaker 3: ribbi here.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know some.
Speaker 3: Bullshit because it's well no, I mean, and it's like
Speaker 3: so dope, just fashion, culture everything. I'm excited to go there.
Speaker 3: I'm excited to go there. I Brionn is actually going
Speaker 3: to Japan. I was thinking about going winter, but I
Speaker 3: think I'm gonna do a little Mexico stint again. I
Speaker 3: think I said I want to live in Paris, but
Speaker 3: it's fucked up because like, I don't really want to
Speaker 3: go anywhere new.
Speaker 2: I want to go to the places I like, which
Speaker 2: is kind of weird. But when I say I want
Speaker 2: to live in Paris, I think I'm so obsessed with
Speaker 2: that city. I need that moment for myself. Maybe I'll
Speaker 2: meet a nigga out there, Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll
Speaker 2: have a nigga I'll bring it with me. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but I want to.
Speaker 1: Learn some French.
Speaker 3: I want to enjoy life while I'm young and while
Speaker 3: I can afford it, because to me, once I get
Speaker 3: a kid, where I spend money on my baby in
Speaker 3: the way inflation. Sexually, some new experiences I don't know.
Speaker 2: I've been having a really fun sex life, like just
Speaker 2: loving being able to explore my body again. Last year
Speaker 2: was the most sex I've had since Old Bay, because
Speaker 2: I mean, having a boyfriend you're fucking all the time,
Speaker 2: you know this, so like and being able to date
Speaker 2: someone consistently and get like that shit is fun as shit.
Speaker 1: Having more like experiences like that.
Speaker 2: I don't really like so many new experiences with new people,
Speaker 2: because I prefer I'm more comfortable when I'm already fucking,
Speaker 2: like I can be more loose, I can be more myself,
Speaker 2: so like, I want more of that.
Speaker 1: I'm also trying to think what else, what do I
Speaker 1: really want.
Speaker 3: I mean, you don't have to have the answer right now,
Speaker 3: you do not, and in a couple episodes or mid
Speaker 3: year or at the end of the year, maybe you'll
Speaker 3: have to be so definitive. I mean, I don't think
Speaker 3: even so this is what this This outline, y'all, is
Speaker 3: a lot about why I asked this question. I manifested.
Speaker 3: I think what I wanted right before the pandemic without
Speaker 3: knowing all the things, but also without being exactly really
Speaker 3: particular in the things I wanted, And I think what
Speaker 3: I wanted is changed in a in a way that
Speaker 3: I don't no. To be very honest with you, I
Speaker 3: think so I didn't date at all last year once
Speaker 3: I broke up with this nigga. I went back to
Speaker 3: twenty four to seven, Green Eyes and Detroit. Those was
Speaker 3: my three little you know, and then I stopped seeing
Speaker 3: them abruptly and literally didn't.
Speaker 1: Have sex for the end of the year. And I
Speaker 1: know I.
Speaker 3: Missed my relationship with sex, and I need it back
Speaker 3: because right now I'm questioning what sex is so much
Speaker 3: that it doesn't feel healthy to me. And I literally
Speaker 3: brought that up with my therapist. I was like, bits
Speaker 3: y'all want to get back to fucking, because I know
Speaker 3: I enjoyed fucking, but the way I'm questioning what sex
Speaker 3: is and what it means and how it should make
Speaker 3: me feel and even the intricacies of it is a
Speaker 3: mind fuck right now to me, and I don't like it.
Speaker 3: I want to go back to fucking, bitch. I do
Speaker 3: think though, that's healing.
Speaker 1: I think you know it.
Speaker 2: Never know how much we haven't healed until like when
Speaker 2: you talked about a few months back the sex club
Speaker 2: and how you went and you have.
Speaker 1: You fucking cried? Bro? You ever? I mean?
Speaker 3: But also when we were in the bay, I was
Speaker 3: with someone very attractive, we had a sexual moment, and
Speaker 3: then when I ended up spending some more time with him,
Speaker 3: I got triggered by my ex and that was the
Speaker 3: last time I was like, oh yeah, I'm not I'm
Speaker 3: I'm still very broken, bro, and I'm not ready.
Speaker 2: I didn't know how much like okay sometimes trigger warning
Speaker 2: that word is like it feels PC. But my dread
Speaker 2: Nigga said something to me that like was a joke,
Speaker 2: but it triggered me so much so fans have like
Speaker 2: tried to write.
Speaker 1: Me about him. Well not tried to but okay, you know,
Speaker 1: just little things like that.
Speaker 2: And like even at my after party he saw a
Speaker 2: girl he had slept with, which whatever, I don't care.
Speaker 1: I really don't care.
Speaker 2: But uh, I made a joke it with him on
Speaker 2: the phone, like, Nigga, you walk these motherfuckering streets, but
Speaker 2: I'm in La.
Speaker 1: Just you need to ask them holes if they listen
Speaker 1: to the podcast.
Speaker 2: And he was laughing, like for really like your fans
Speaker 2: out of control, like Nigga, k cheat in peace, and
Speaker 2: like he was a joke, but also because there's no
Speaker 2: cheating to be had on.
Speaker 1: Me right right, because y'all aren't together.
Speaker 2: But but all I could think about is Bobe and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god. He used to tell
Speaker 2: me that that was why he would like fuck white
Speaker 2: girls so he wouldn't like run into a fan.
Speaker 3: Oh and wait, my ex used to tell me if
Speaker 3: that's why he didn't come to our live shows the
Speaker 3: fuck out of.
Speaker 1: Here because of what I had shared.
Speaker 3: He didn't want people to know that he was that
Speaker 3: person doing the fox up shit because he's like, as
Speaker 3: much as they might may like me all of our breakups,
Speaker 3: they don't like me. And maybe he read the comments
Speaker 3: and things like that. He didn't want to be in
Speaker 3: a room where everyone hated him, and I think he knew.
Speaker 1: That the audience did not like him.
Speaker 2: You're joke, But for me, it's I actually don't think
Speaker 2: it's what he did more than your reaction.
Speaker 1: Do you remember when old Bay would.
Speaker 2: Do shit and I'd be like, hey, shit, whatever, that's
Speaker 2: not your reaction to the things he would do too.
Speaker 3: My reaction was because this was the first person I
Speaker 3: I gave my all too. Like, let's be very clear,
Speaker 3: all the other niggas that I'd have talked about on
Speaker 3: this motherfucker podcast, I didn't cook for them, I didn't
Speaker 3: bring them on trips with me.
Speaker 1: I didn't hang out with them around my friends.
Speaker 3: They didn't meet my mom. They weren't in my space
Speaker 3: the way this person was. So my reaction came from
Speaker 3: I'm doing everything I think I'm supposed to be doing
Speaker 3: the right way, and we're broken up.
Speaker 1: Time seven out of thirteen. Time eight out of thirteen.
Speaker 3: He lied to me, and I caught him lying or
Speaker 3: he cheated on me, and I felt like so.
Speaker 1: The things were more like these were my real life reactions,
Speaker 1: And I think that that's why.
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty three was so much because is if I
Speaker 3: didn't share it here, because we actually had a couple
Speaker 3: weeks of a break, I was sharing it on See.
Speaker 3: The thing is so I was constantly having to record
Speaker 3: in real time what was going on in my relationship
Speaker 3: to where honestly, by the time sometimes we got back
Speaker 3: into the studio, I was back with him, but the
Speaker 3: episode that was airing was me dogging this nigga out.
Speaker 3: So literally, we're out in public together. You were crazy
Speaker 3: for that, bro, And I mean, listen, I walk in
Speaker 3: my truth, and if a nigga fuck with me, he's
Speaker 3: gonna have to know a bit, gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: So you just better behave And I mean to be honest,
Speaker 1: let's be very clear.
Speaker 3: I this nigga that I would have cut it out
Speaker 3: that well he may or may not be, you know,
Speaker 3: be breaking my celibacy, this new nigga, the twenty two
Speaker 3: year old. And literally he was like, so we gonna
Speaker 3: talk about it on the podcast, and I was like, girl, we.
Speaker 1: Got a break. Thank god. That nigga may not even
Speaker 1: be in the picture in January February. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: I am going to take my time with introducing niggas
Speaker 3: to this podcast in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: The only thing I will say, like even me saying,
Speaker 2: who knows if dredal sleepy in the picture?
Speaker 3: Alex was like yelling at me the other day. He
Speaker 3: was like, Bro, you don't know how to have fun.
Speaker 3: You're having sex and like enjoying life right now.
Speaker 2: Because like you're having fun, you have to keep having
Speaker 2: fun and stop being so like.
Speaker 1: On your a man has to do.
Speaker 2: And it's crazy because I remember when recording that episode
Speaker 2: with Sahara around November.
Speaker 1: Like you know, she had a lot of rules if
Speaker 1: they don't do X y Z.
Speaker 2: And I'm listening to my homeboys all tell me like, bro,
Speaker 2: just have fun, like you have to just do this
Speaker 2: for yourself, and I actually think that is something I
Speaker 2: want to do.
Speaker 3: This is why this podcast is going to keep working
Speaker 3: because we are on the opposite side. I had so
Speaker 3: much fun with niggas in my twenties, not like casual. No.
Speaker 3: I literally just said to my therapist, this is the
Speaker 3: struggles that I'm having. I'm struggling with how to show
Speaker 3: up to get what I want.
Speaker 1: Live in the moment, that's what I want.
Speaker 3: Say yeah, yeah, I forgot, I hear I I did.
Speaker 3: I had so many relationships with men and treated sex
Speaker 3: so casually and so much like fun that at the
Speaker 3: end I didn't get what I wanted. And so there's
Speaker 3: real intention with me now going into dating and sex
Speaker 3: that I want to be sure that I'm fulfilled.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of empty sex. I had a
Speaker 1: lot of transactional sex.
Speaker 3: I had a lot of sex that was, oh my god,
Speaker 3: this man is so fine him fucking me at two
Speaker 3: hundred and thirty pounds, it makes me feel good.
Speaker 1: Ooh.
Speaker 3: There was a lot of very unhealthy sex that I
Speaker 3: had in my twenties that now where I feel the
Speaker 3: best about myself, I'm making money, so it doesn't need
Speaker 3: to be transactional. I just finally had my first relationship,
Speaker 3: so I might be able to see red flags a
Speaker 3: little sooner. I want to fuck with intention and I
Speaker 3: want to date with intention, and so to me at
Speaker 3: thirty three, it's not about fun anymore, like I felt
Speaker 3: like I did that, and I want to be very
Speaker 3: clear with that. I think I allowed niggas to set
Speaker 3: the tone for shit, and then when I caught feelings,
Speaker 3: I had to retrict because I.
Speaker 1: Was living in their world.
Speaker 3: I want a nigga to be able to show up
Speaker 3: for me how I need them to show up for me,
Speaker 3: and if they can't, I'm so fine after doing this
Speaker 3: fucking six seven months of fucking celibacy to be able
Speaker 3: to be like, I'm good, this doesn't serve me.
Speaker 2: I think that, like what you're saying has been the
Speaker 2: case for most women and myself. I definitely can say that.
Speaker 2: Like I was like, oh, I was just supposed to
Speaker 2: be enjoying this. What I'm taking from this time around
Speaker 2: is more like I'm way too hard on myself when
Speaker 2: they don't work out, instead of just saying this is
Speaker 2: just an experience.
Speaker 3: And see I've always been like that, it's just an experience.
Speaker 3: So not that I'm hard on myself as much as
Speaker 3: I want to be harder on how people show up
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 1: So I got a little R and V nigga.
Speaker 3: His name is gonna be R and V Nigga for
Speaker 3: now because I don't know how it's gonna pan out,
Speaker 3: but we've been texting. I was supposed to go to
Speaker 3: one of his shows in the DMV coming up, and
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I'm gonna pull up, Like why
Speaker 3: not like we've been talking. So we've been talking for
Speaker 3: over a year. I started talking to him when I
Speaker 3: went to Abu Dhabi last year.
Speaker 1: Damn over years a long time.
Speaker 3: And then I got back with my niggas a week after.
Speaker 3: So literally he's just been like I knew he was
Speaker 3: gonna get back. Every time I broke up, we got
Speaker 3: back talking, we flirt. Then I'd be like, oh, never mind, I.
Speaker 1: Back with my nigga. We gotta cut it off.
Speaker 3: Then he was just in New York over the summer
Speaker 3: and I took him to one of my favorite restaurants
Speaker 3: and I was like, Okay, there's a cute little vibe
Speaker 3: and now that like I'm out of.
Speaker 1: Some of the seat.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I took him to Fish Fish Chicks is my favorite restaurant, okay,
Speaker 1: And so after we did that, we've just been talking now.
Speaker 3: So literally, he hit me up after like congratulating me
Speaker 3: on my last show, and I said, you'll be playing
Speaker 3: and his response was like, nah, I'm on your ass,
Speaker 3: And I immediately responded and was like, you're not on
Speaker 3: my ass because I don't have I don't have flowers
Speaker 3: sent from you to congratulate me on my last show.
Speaker 3: He set some of your address right now. And it's
Speaker 3: literally just that I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 3: the words anymore. I don't want you to sit here
Speaker 3: and gaslight me. I don't want you and I don't
Speaker 3: want to use all them like buzzwords. But I know
Speaker 3: what I want if you're going to see here and
Speaker 3: be able to say, you're proud of me for completing
Speaker 3: my toy that you know I've been on for fucking
Speaker 3: eight months.
Speaker 1: Where's my flowers?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Show me?
Speaker 2: Also, like, sometimes I think what I have learned a
Speaker 2: little bit, men are waiting for men watch women like
Speaker 2: that are doing shit and they're like, oh, she got
Speaker 2: other niggas.
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna tell you that.
Speaker 3: I don't I mean right, And it's not that I
Speaker 3: want to say that, but but I want you to
Speaker 3: show up in the way that if I sit here
Speaker 3: and travel to come see you, it makes.
Speaker 1: Sense again being on the same page, being on the
Speaker 1: same page.
Speaker 2: I have a date coming up with this guy. I
Speaker 2: wanted to show you him. I think he's super sexy, Okay, tall,
Speaker 2: he's like in tech ish but so my type, just
Speaker 2: like you could tell he's weird.
Speaker 1: That makes me like.
Speaker 2: Him, But really witty and one thing I did meet
Speaker 2: him on an app and one thing that he I mean,
Speaker 2: you just show me his app profile? Oh no, but
Speaker 2: nobody else made him out of my app. And one
Speaker 2: of the things I realized on his profile that I
Speaker 2: don't see is he's looking for his long term relationship
Speaker 2: in monogamy, like.
Speaker 1: Monogomy, bitch, You can't do this, you being honest, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I could. You don't want to fuck itches together, though,
Speaker 1: but that ain't monogamy. It's monogamish. Look at you already
Speaker 1: been though.
Speaker 2: I was saying you, I'm not sucking a bitch right now,
Speaker 2: So I figure I could live like this. But I
Speaker 2: did think to myself like, oh, like, you know, I
Speaker 2: I fantasize a little too much as a spicyes. You put
Speaker 2: you play these scenarios in your head. But I was like, yo,
Speaker 2: the one thing that I know that I need that
Speaker 2: sounds so mean. Oh I do need a fun nigga
Speaker 2: with money, bro Oh, I just said that I can't.
Speaker 2: I just said that to my homegirl.
Speaker 3: My ex nigga had enough money to where it was cute,
Speaker 3: but it wasn't my money. And now literally twenty two
Speaker 3: year old make more money than me. And I literally
Speaker 3: tell my therapist, I said, but at least I know
Speaker 3: when we go out he got it and his apartment is.
Speaker 1: Nice, and money is just not going to be an
Speaker 1: issue at all with us.
Speaker 2: I just don't like thinking about what we're about to
Speaker 2: spend because like, I know how I rock, but same.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, bitch.
Speaker 2: We have a handful of rich friends, and then I
Speaker 2: have a handful of my day once and maybe aren't rich, right.
Speaker 1: But how I roll with them? Friends? Like my trip
Speaker 1: TV is the last summer, bless you me.
Speaker 2: Gabby Andre went and I was like, okay, we playing
Speaker 2: this in seventy four hours, nigga, I'm not flying fourteen
Speaker 2: hours sitting now, and.
Speaker 1: Everybody's like, oh, we were not.
Speaker 2: And we fucking picked the best match and we found
Speaker 2: we fucking did it all.
Speaker 1: We had amazing dinners, and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, I want to do this with a nigga, but
Speaker 3: that nigga gotta gotta move like this.
Speaker 2: And also I don't want to be so crazy. Wow
Speaker 2: when I meet a rich guy, more than I wanted
Speaker 2: to be normal. So like that's matter of fact, that's
Speaker 2: my mantation.
Speaker 1: Give me. I want to know that you.
Speaker 3: Do like that salty ass motherfucker caviar. I need to
Speaker 3: know what you bro. You stall me ordered that shit
Speaker 3: before I ordered it yesterday.
Speaker 1: Oh you order eating it?
Speaker 3: I bitch, I saw it on top of the steak
Speaker 3: but oh yeah, oh no, no, no I ordered, so we
Speaker 3: both ordered nobu before bitch I had a hole of
Speaker 3: ma ho lim t say what I do.
Speaker 1: This is my hack.
Speaker 2: Caviar be one hundred and twenty five minimum right for
Speaker 2: four ounces?
Speaker 1: Three ounces? Maybe sometimes No, bitch, I just been one
Speaker 1: hundred for one at a steakhouse.
Speaker 2: Maybe you're right, but you could get caviar top tartar.
Speaker 2: I'll do that and then I'll put it on top
Speaker 2: of the other ship. I'll be playing, I'll be trying.
Speaker 2: So I just feel like I want to scamming caviar.
Speaker 1: You're annoying.
Speaker 2: I just want to man that also does is shit?
Speaker 2: I agree, because for me, that's the energy I want
Speaker 2: at this age. I want to invite it in. I
Speaker 2: was inviting it in when I was in my twenties
Speaker 2: and I was able to get it. It was just another
Speaker 2: niggas money, And now I just want.
Speaker 1: I want to invite it in as a companion.
Speaker 3: When I was with Oldbay, that was one thing I'll
Speaker 3: say that I enjoyed whatever the fuck we wanted to do.
Speaker 3: We did it right, and I need that again right
Speaker 3: like bad bitch, Which is funny because our vanilla shit
Speaker 3: is about the opposite and welcome to dating.
Speaker 1: Man, it's about dating for love.
Speaker 3: Nope. So, according to the New York Post, men are
Speaker 3: manipulating women with a sick New Penny dating.
Speaker 1: Trend or psychological torture, however you want to do it so.
Speaker 3: According to Indy one hundred, the method involves a man
Speaker 3: putting in one hundred percent investment at the beginning of
Speaker 3: romance before deliberately dropping the level of effort until his
Speaker 3: female partner fit fel lucky to get the bare minimum.
Speaker 3: Oh TikToker Erica Sam explain the tactic in a viral
Speaker 3: video they gained seven point six million views. Damn said
Speaker 3: that she was talking to a male friend about quote
Speaker 3: unquote love bombing, inundating a new partner with constant and
Speaker 3: extravagant displays of affection early in a relationship. The friend
Speaker 3: then told Damn that men have their own perverted twists
Speaker 3: on this tactic.
Speaker 1: Dug the penny method. This is the real thing.
Speaker 3: The palate explained that men imagine a woman is like
Speaker 3: a piggy bake, and they adjust their investments accordingly to
Speaker 3: get her interested. Obviously, at first you have to be
Speaker 3: feeding her one hundred dollars bills. Now here's where it
Speaker 3: gets sick.
Speaker 1: This feels so really hated.
Speaker 3: The friend went on to explain the adjustments of attention.
Speaker 3: Over time, a man would deliberately decrease the amount of
Speaker 3: attention given to the girl before inflating it again, ever
Speaker 3: so slightly, to appease her. However, over time the investments
Speaker 3: become smaller as the woman's self worth is eroded. So
Speaker 3: after putting in one hundred percent effort in the beginning
Speaker 3: of the relationship and grabbing her attention, a man decreases
Speaker 3: his investment than to ninety percent and then less. Basically,
Speaker 3: you just keep repeating the cycle and winning her off
Speaker 3: your effort until you get to the point where you're
Speaker 3: giving her pennies and suddenly they're excited to receive a nickel.
Speaker 2: This reminds me what niggas are nice to you before
Speaker 2: they fuck you. Yeah, there's no advice say that, my
Speaker 2: nigga that has to fuck you yet.
Speaker 3: Bro, the fact that my relationship now with men who
Speaker 3: I haven't fucked is so much stronger and fulfilling to
Speaker 3: me the niggas I've given my pussy too. This is
Speaker 3: exactly what that reminds me of. Niggas will show up
Speaker 3: and show up and show up and show up for you,
Speaker 3: and then once you give them the pussy and they
Speaker 3: feel like, oh my god, I've conquered exactly what I needed.
Speaker 1: They're gonna give you just enough to keep getting ready.
Speaker 1: Here we go, oh, probably like.
Speaker 2: Uh, what are we doing? We don't need to be
Speaker 2: fucking these niggas for ninety days. Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 2: the time. I don't think that that's oh true. But okay,
Speaker 2: Alex is producing a podcast at the moment where a
Speaker 2: woman whose Instagram is called Matchmaker Maria.
Speaker 3: Okay, I know her. Uh, she was gonna come on
Speaker 3: the pod. She was the matchmaker for a bisimone. Okay,
Speaker 3: I didn't know her, I'm familiar with it. But he
Speaker 3: told me you should try this thing I heard Maria say.
Speaker 3: He said, she says you need to have twelve dates
Speaker 3: before you have sex. The dates don't have to be
Speaker 3: real dates. They can be phone calls.
Speaker 1: It could be. So I feel like it's good me too.
Speaker 2: And he was like, apparently that's like a like a
Speaker 2: touch point or some way. I don't know what the
Speaker 2: real thing is, but long story short, I think that's
Speaker 2: a cool piece of advice because I do think there
Speaker 2: needs to be some investment in your time together. And
Speaker 2: I think that what had gotten me a little bit
Speaker 2: stronger with the dread nigga before it was just that
Speaker 2: I didn't live here, so we had to keep up
Speaker 2: with each other, right, And I realized that. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: it ain't like I wouldn't have fucked. We just didn't
Speaker 2: have time to go on those days. Yet I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel like also because we are also comfortable. When
Speaker 2: I say we, I mean women in situationships where we
Speaker 2: received the bare minimum as soon as the nigga's just nice,
Speaker 2: we think that they're giving us a lot more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that we're that they're giving us a lot more
Speaker 3: than they really are. And so in terms of men
Speaker 3: who don't know who else, you're entertaining a man who
Speaker 3: comes off, which is what I told you actually and
Speaker 3: which is why I stopped. I felt like the nigga
Speaker 3: in the Bay, I felt love bombed. I felt like
Speaker 3: he was too nice. He was helping us pack up
Speaker 3: the show like and I was like, ooh, this feels
Speaker 3: too nice, like too soon, and I retracted from that.
Speaker 3: But I also was like, oh, this is probably what
Speaker 3: works for people, because a lot of men aren't nice.
Speaker 3: A lot of men, especially the ones that look good
Speaker 3: or got money, they don't have to do much. So
Speaker 3: to know that men will show up again as they're representative,
Speaker 3: real nice and then once they got you, wish they
Speaker 3: got you and they can just show up starting to
Speaker 3: get less.
Speaker 1: I do feel like, I mean that was I mean
Speaker 1: a lot of.
Speaker 2: My relationship, to be honest, any boyfriend I've ever had,
Speaker 2: it was consistent, Like old Bay wasn't the nicest.
Speaker 1: He actually got a nicer.
Speaker 3: Okay, but what about like just other people, like because
Speaker 3: this is this is the dating method, So this isn't
Speaker 3: we go together. This is niggas that probably you fuck
Speaker 3: and after a while it just becomes alonggoing situationship because
Speaker 3: they just feeding you less and.
Speaker 2: Less less as a pisces and as someone that's very emo.
Speaker 2: Niggas need to know what to do to keep me okay,
Speaker 2: and they kind of do it okay, but I'm also
Speaker 2: very vocal about it, so I don't know if they're
Speaker 2: just doing it out of reluctancy.
Speaker 1: But like, I'm share the sex message I was. I
Speaker 1: was a little bit live shocked. I was actually a little.
Speaker 3: I said, uh, oh shit, but you know, I'll be young.
Speaker 3: What's up love digs Okay?
Speaker 2: I said, Oh my god, I think I know why
Speaker 2: I was being needy. I was just like, really not
Speaker 2: feeling good after the show. I'm sorry, I've been working
Speaker 2: so hard. I just don't know what to do right now.
Speaker 2: He goes lool not baby, this SHO want a regular
Speaker 2: and it's okay, you are needy, but I like it,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, he's just trying to be nice.
Speaker 3: But no, but also you've expressed that you're needy and
Speaker 3: you've looked at that as a bad thing. And he's like, bitch,
Speaker 3: I'll see you for who you are, and I guess
Speaker 3: I'll like empty.
Speaker 2: And I also think, like if a man enjoys super soft,
Speaker 2: girly shit, and maybe that's what I've been able to
Speaker 2: lean into. I realized that the other day in my house,
Speaker 2: we were on the couch and he was like Okay,
Speaker 2: let's get in the bed. I'm like, why you said
Speaker 2: you don't want to see I know you want to
Speaker 2: be close to me, And I was like, it is cute,
Speaker 2: but I kind of do like when a man can
Speaker 2: read it on you. And I think that maybe I've
Speaker 2: been kind of fortunate to date men that are getting
Speaker 2: it with me, like and maybe they've jumped me too
Speaker 2: early if they realize I am a lot now. I'm
Speaker 2: not so in your face about it, but I think
Speaker 2: niggas could feel it. Like you know, when someone could
Speaker 2: tell you without saying it to you, I might be
Speaker 2: real quiet.
Speaker 1: If they're like, oh, I gotta go, I'll be like, okay,
Speaker 1: like I'm mad about it. You know I'm mad. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: So then I'm very vocal of it, like I want
Speaker 1: the kissing and the hugging and all that shit. Maybe
Speaker 1: walk out this door.
Speaker 3: I think that that's the difference now with me though,
Speaker 3: like the nickel ain't gonna bee enough. You got it bye,
Speaker 3: like and I'm now gonna be a little bit more
Speaker 3: vocal with the things I need. And if you can't
Speaker 3: do it, I'm not gonna wait for you to find
Speaker 3: out how to do it.
Speaker 1: Go give the next bitch of nickel. I don't want
Speaker 1: a nickel.
Speaker 3: I mean I wanted a whole silver dollar hall. I
Speaker 3: want a hundred dollar bill. I want the blue cheese bills.
Speaker 2: That's a man that's not trying to I think I
Speaker 2: was watching or listening to something that said, why do
Speaker 2: men need to hit the.
Speaker 1: Numbers for women? And the number like, why do they
Speaker 1: need to fuck women? What is the goal?
Speaker 2: Sometimes when they don't want a relationship and a lot
Speaker 2: of it they it said, could be a social climb,
Speaker 2: saying oh I took that bitch down.
Speaker 1: Not only social climate, I think it feeds their own
Speaker 1: ego as well. Yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 3: So it's like being able to say they fucked you.
Speaker 3: And so one of those things is literally doing exactly
Speaker 3: what they think it'll take to get you, and not
Speaker 3: just that but like.
Speaker 1: They're getting off at doing it.
Speaker 2: But I think the consistency is something that again is
Speaker 2: so difficult to find. But as women that want things
Speaker 2: and it's men to anybody listening, we definitely need to
Speaker 2: be vocal.
Speaker 1: And what we need keep period. BDD cooked me dinner
Speaker 1: the other day and was like rubbing my back and
Speaker 1: was like, you love this sheep?
Speaker 3: I ain't, but those listening I have realized. Now this
Speaker 3: is not a hord drive or anything like that, but
Speaker 3: there's this nigga I follow the way I have been
Speaker 3: turned on by niggas they could cook, because wait, my
Speaker 3: ex can't. And then twenty two year old, when I
Speaker 3: told him, I was like something to come over, You're
Speaker 3: gonna cook for me? And he said he'll, he'll, He'll
Speaker 3: have the chef come over. Because the nigga got money.
Speaker 3: He's like, I have the chef come over. And I
Speaker 3: was like, why the fuck do I keep meeting niggas
Speaker 3: that can't cook?
Speaker 1: A part of me want a nigga that know how
Speaker 1: to cook. I need. Maybe I got a data to make.
Speaker 3: It at this point because American niggas don't hot to cook.
Speaker 1: It's an American thing cook. I feel like Islanders and
Speaker 1: African men know how to cook. That nigga maybe he
Speaker 1: just don't.
Speaker 3: All I know is all the American men I keep meeting,
Speaker 3: and yes, the African Americans, because y'all know, I don't
Speaker 3: date the whites or anyone else.
Speaker 1: All the niggas I date do not know how to cook.
Speaker 1: They literally will tell me they don't know how to boil.
Speaker 1: Walk is the only nigga.
Speaker 3: I feel like I need to get me a curbban
Speaker 3: man this year, So did I gotta have a nigga
Speaker 3: make me a whole meal.
Speaker 1: I want a nigga to be like bib B.
Speaker 3: I want to make you foughts even though don't make
Speaker 3: me fair, but I want you to like feed me.
Speaker 1: You want to not be hurt working. I want see
Speaker 1: that you're making bad way, bitch.
Speaker 3: I want to see a nigga in the kitchen with
Speaker 3: a little apron, and I want him to know how
Speaker 3: to put like the little seasons all over the little shit.
Speaker 1: You want to see a nigga with an apron.
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe not the apron, but I want to see
Speaker 3: him with some basketball shorts, no shirt. So don't cook
Speaker 3: no bacon because that baby, that bacon greats gonna pop
Speaker 3: it at you and I don't want you to hurt.
Speaker 3: I want to see a nigga just basketball shorts with
Speaker 3: the slides, the little Joda slides, little hood nigga with
Speaker 3: the sock.
Speaker 1: Song making some motherfucking a meal.
Speaker 3: And when I say a meal, I need a vegetable,
Speaker 3: I need a starch, and I need a meat Hope.
Speaker 3: I want a nigga to be like and you know what,
Speaker 3: I even made dessert.
Speaker 1: I want that. God damn it. Let me get off
Speaker 1: the Food Network. Gotta be bad as hell. Anyway. I
Speaker 1: want to start tagging Mandy and your meals. You mad,
Speaker 1: no I follow me. I ain gonna hold you.
Speaker 3: I follow a lot of cooking ass niggas on Instagram. Bitch,
Speaker 3: I'll be saving a little recipes like leimme I meat
Speaker 3: this one day, all right anyways, and set up poor
Speaker 3: Dirt because I not have sex. I wanted to get
Speaker 3: into Hope facts, which was really interesting. This is digging
Speaker 3: into Spartan women. Okay, So Sparta was in many ways
Speaker 3: an odd one out of ancient Greece.
Speaker 1: And y'all know I've been to Greece.
Speaker 3: While women in Athens were kept so secluded that they
Speaker 3: were sought to speak their own dialect, Sparta's women received
Speaker 3: great freedom for the time. When the Spartan queen Gorgo
Speaker 3: was asked, why is it that you Spartan women are
Speaker 3: the only women that lorded over your men, she said,
Speaker 3: because we are the only women that are mothers of men.
Speaker 3: But here's the crazy thing. I want to get into
Speaker 3: what happens on their wedding night. But y'all a mother, Now,
Speaker 3: this is for spartan women, and this is what took
Speaker 3: place on their wedding night, which was really interesting. The
Speaker 3: wedding night could be a strange affair for a spartan woman.
Speaker 3: Her hair would be shaved off and she would be
Speaker 3: dressed in a man's cloak and sandals. Thus dressed, she
Speaker 3: would wait in the dark for her husband to steal
Speaker 3: in and have his way with her. Some historians have
Speaker 3: suggested that this cross dressing on the part of the
Speaker 3: bride was to get a man more.
Speaker 1: Quote unquote used to spending time.
Speaker 3: With his male brothers in arms and used it to
Speaker 3: the delights of homosexuality.
Speaker 1: That's kind of hot, Is that not crazy?
Speaker 3: We talked about cross dressing on this pod as it
Speaker 3: pertained to men dressing up very feminine like, but we've never.
Speaker 1: Talked about scared. Look not cam scaring you, bro. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I just thought we were getting dropped.
Speaker 1: I told you. I mean, just were in Brooklyn. Y'all,
Speaker 1: don't listen so fucking weazy. Wait we're in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2: I thought, Yeah, bitch, I watched some shit last night
Speaker 2: about like home invasions and it's.
Speaker 3: Just kind of like, sorry, here's an ex we Anyways,
Speaker 3: it was really interesting because I was like, damn, I
Speaker 3: don't think we've ever really talked about cross dressing where
Speaker 3: women drew us up as dudes and have their male
Speaker 3: partners fucking.
Speaker 1: The only thing that I'd seen like that was in
Speaker 1: Sex and the City.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, just look at here we go, y'all in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four, we're still getting sex with the city preferences.
Speaker 1: Let's go sex in the city of going.
Speaker 2: So basically, Charlotte went to this guy's place because he
Speaker 2: wanted to paint her.
Speaker 1: He likes to paint women as men, and.
Speaker 2: When she put on the suit, he put like a
Speaker 2: bull's nerve hands and she was like, oh, I felt
Speaker 2: more masculine, I felt like a man. I felt like
Speaker 2: I could pull him into me. She made out with him,
Speaker 2: made the first move, and it was hot because literally
Speaker 2: like he got to look at.
Speaker 1: Her being womanly and fuck her. I think that's why nigga.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I want to ask you, thus
Speaker 1: you dating a nigga?
Speaker 3: Nope, let's get it to I would love to know
Speaker 3: if you are how you rock with this. So you
Speaker 3: date a nigga, You meet a nigga and he's like, Yom,
Speaker 3: I want to fuck you. Want some timbalance with a
Speaker 3: throwback jersey, with a snap back in a dou rag
Speaker 3: and I want you to bush your eyebrows out no makeup.
Speaker 1: I like that. You like it?
Speaker 2: Niggas like when I have my hair and a bunch
Speaker 2: because they say I look like loving basketball.
Speaker 1: And on that note, look what that you do? Not
Speaker 1: look like annihilate the whole, but the little vibe hole.
Speaker 1: Have you ever even played basketball?
Speaker 3: Ho?
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, bitch, I fucked a basketball player. Okay.
Speaker 3: On that note, the horrible decision this week, This is
Speaker 3: what I've been sitting on because this is literally where
Speaker 3: I've been mentally, and with this show being seven years old,
Speaker 3: with us just wrapping up the climax tour, I wanted
Speaker 3: to have the conversation around sexual liberation. Are we really
Speaker 3: sexually liberated? And this came from an article from the
Speaker 3: New York POSTY had a gun, We're an Australian woman
Speaker 3: said she had sex with three hundred people in one
Speaker 3: that's insane, but shout out to her and found the
Speaker 3: experience quote unquote empowering. She's twenty six years old and
Speaker 3: goes by Anna Knight any night, and she told She
Speaker 3: said that she even managed to bed five people in
Speaker 3: a single day during the Frisky Fun Year. She said,
Speaker 3: I felt empowered afterwards. Sex makes me feel good. It's
Speaker 3: meant to make you feel good. Night sleeps with men
Speaker 3: and women, and told the radio program that she met
Speaker 3: many of her sex parties on dating apps. However, she
Speaker 3: also has a quote unquote roster of regulars on speed
Speaker 3: dial that she calls up whenever she feels like getting
Speaker 3: god and dirty. She said, the messier the sex, the better.
Speaker 3: Not everyone is impressed with her unashamed enthusiasm for sex,
Speaker 3: and one hater described her as disgusting. A few years later,
Speaker 3: I got fired from one of my jobs. I just
Speaker 3: started a new role. I was on day five and
Speaker 3: actually went homesick that day. Received an email saying termination
Speaker 3: of contract. She went on to explain that she was shocked,
Speaker 3: didn't know what was going on, and before opening the
Speaker 3: email to discover screenshots of her adult content. There were
Speaker 3: a list of four reasons while she was fired. Basically,
Speaker 3: they said that she falsely advertised that she had a
Speaker 3: side business, didn't ask permission from the company to run
Speaker 3: a side business, and that she had online pornographic images
Speaker 3: of herself and crude language that was against company rules.
Speaker 1: Okay, we talked about.
Speaker 3: How that's settled for law enforcement and things like that,
Speaker 3: but I really wanted to talk about in this age
Speaker 3: of celibacy.
Speaker 1: I actually want to build on that a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: talk to me.
Speaker 2: So I felt like I had to sex shame someone
Speaker 2: that came to WTF media recently. Oh, do explain not
Speaker 2: the same mind you if any of the employees were
Speaker 2: making sexual content, that'd be fine. We had someone bring
Speaker 2: a sub and I think I mentioned it to you
Speaker 2: when Steph Dohm was in there and they were walking
Speaker 2: their sub around the building and start us into trouble.
Speaker 2: And you know, we've been there three years and like
Speaker 2: Alex and I don't want to fuck this shit up.
Speaker 1: And I was like, bro, I.
Speaker 2: Understand people of their kinks, but like, you're not about
Speaker 2: to get your shit off to the point where we
Speaker 2: get kicked out, like feeding people as you know, people
Speaker 2: are paying their rent from our businesses.
Speaker 1: Like, you're not about to fuck this shit up.
Speaker 2: And so I actually came down on the employees possibly
Speaker 2: a little too hard to where It'siana was even like bruh,
Speaker 2: everybody works really hard. Like I was like, if anybody
Speaker 2: does this busy, anybody do this again? If you watch
Speaker 2: some shit like this happen, it's your responsibility to make
Speaker 2: sure when no one's fucking up in this building that
Speaker 2: we stay here like this is our jobs if not,
Speaker 2: like fuck everybody.
Speaker 1: I was so upset.
Speaker 2: And this is a while ago, but I remember thinking, like,
Speaker 2: was I shaming that person's sex life? They also are
Speaker 2: paying to use the studio. But I do think there's
Speaker 2: a way that you need to conduct yourself in terms
Speaker 2: of professionalism when it comes to the content that you're
Speaker 2: making and how it coincides with the businesses that you
Speaker 2: interact with. Like granted, yeah, I want people to make
Speaker 2: whatever they want. I've had people ask if they could
Speaker 2: do sporting stuff in my school studio. I've had to
Speaker 2: say no, right, Like, there is certain imagery that I
Speaker 2: want to be out there and some that are not,
Speaker 2: And I think it's perfectly fined. Where I remember in
Speaker 2: the past we had started debating about a student's mom. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that I feel like doesn't count because like it's a kid.
Speaker 1: How can you blame their mother.
Speaker 3: But for work places, I'm kind of starting to change
Speaker 3: the tie a little bit. Okay, so nurses and the
Speaker 3: only fans I know. Ali Ray is a big performer
Speaker 3: that was very popular. She may be one of the
Speaker 3: most famous. There's New York post shit about her about
Speaker 3: how she got fired. She was under There was a
Speaker 3: lot of law enforcement last year as well in the
Speaker 3: last couple of years because of the pandemic that.
Speaker 1: Were let go.
Speaker 2: I don't think I think two things. I don't think
Speaker 2: your past should be held against you.
Speaker 1: Okay. However, if someone does.
Speaker 2: Have something in place where they don't want pornography shared
Speaker 2: within their like.
Speaker 1: I get it. WHI I'm wondering.
Speaker 3: I mean, I haven't applied for a job, but if
Speaker 3: that was a question asked, it's the same type of
Speaker 3: question where you can't lie on applications even which is
Speaker 3: why they ask about Beelaniese and you know any sort
Speaker 3: of charges or have you ever let been let go
Speaker 3: of a workplace?
Speaker 1: They asked these questions also to see your honesty.
Speaker 3: I think that there is character morals in which companies
Speaker 3: hire people that are employed by them.
Speaker 2: Entertainers are held against with their with their commentary on
Speaker 2: tweet all the time.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So shit.
Speaker 2: I remember what Forbes didn't want to work with me
Speaker 2: because I said something on this podcast recently. They were like, oh,
Speaker 2: well she said that we did X Y Z, and like, ooh,
Speaker 2: it is what it is. I used to want to
Speaker 2: be in Forbes so badly. Guess that'll be done, right.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's true they didn't want me to have
Speaker 2: a show about a certain type of sexual content.
Speaker 1: So it sucks, but that is their choice. What can
Speaker 1: I do? Right? You know?
Speaker 3: I think the conversation that I wanted to quickly have
Speaker 3: was around being really sexually liberated, and it comes from
Speaker 3: in my quest of celibacy. I've questioned what sex has
Speaker 3: meant to me in the past, what it means now.
Speaker 3: The sexual revolution, by the way, is known as sexual liberation,
Speaker 3: where it's a social movement that challenged traditional codes of
Speaker 3: behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the developed
Speaker 3: Western world from the nineteen sixties to seventies. Sexual liberation
Speaker 3: included increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships,
Speaker 3: primarily marriage, the normalization as well of contraception, and the pill,
Speaker 3: public nudity, pornography, premarital sex, homosexuality, masturbation, alternative forms of sexuality,
Speaker 3: and the legalization of abortion now in all of which
Speaker 3: that stems forward. I know that that's so what we
Speaker 3: represent here on horrible decisions, but it's been really like
Speaker 3: almost draining to me to relive some of the decisions
Speaker 3: on why I had sex in ways that I think
Speaker 3: internalized that it was liberating because I was making the decision,
Speaker 3: But then you know now that I have a different
Speaker 3: relationship with money, with my body, with myself, I realized
Speaker 3: that I was maybe feeding in and having sex more
Speaker 3: so for the other person more than myself at all,
Speaker 3: And I think that that's where I'm like, now, I
Speaker 3: want to make sure I'm having sex for my.
Speaker 1: Reasons, Like for me even being in a.
Speaker 3: Non monogamous relationship for three years and being in the
Speaker 3: sex club space and being violated in those spaces with
Speaker 3: people that are supposed to know the fucking Code of Ethics, is.
Speaker 1: Like, what's liberating about this?
Speaker 3: But it's also because I feel like I've been hurt
Speaker 3: by it, and I think that when we think of
Speaker 3: sexual liberation right, it's it's been hard to feel violated
Speaker 3: in a space that made me feel so liberated, but
Speaker 3: also to know that sex is something that's so empowering
Speaker 3: that could also be so demoralizing in terms of trigger
Speaker 3: warning when we talk about sexual assault, when we talk
Speaker 3: about manipulation, when we talk about rape. And it's just
Speaker 3: been this thing where I've just been like, what exactly
Speaker 3: my relationship with sex, what exactly is liberating about it?
Speaker 3: And because you've been able to have such a healthy,
Speaker 3: explorative relationship over the past few months, I wanted to
Speaker 3: just have that conversation what is liberating to you about
Speaker 3: sex right now in your thirties and has that changed
Speaker 3: from how you viewed your relationship with sex.
Speaker 1: In your twenties.
Speaker 2: I think I'm having all the sex that I want
Speaker 2: to have. Okay, When I was with Old Bay, towards
Speaker 2: the end of our relationship, I had sex with him
Speaker 2: because I felt like I was supposed to as a girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Not saying that he ever forced me. I want to
Speaker 3: be very clear, our relationship is very consensual. It was
Speaker 3: more about like I'm mad at this thing. Oh he
Speaker 3: cheated on me, I hate him. Oh I'm not that
Speaker 3: attracted to him anymore.
Speaker 1: It was just like but.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do this right because I'm trying. All the
Speaker 2: sex I'm having is because I want to. It's either
Speaker 2: me initiating me welcoming it. And I think that is
Speaker 2: the biggest part of sexual liberation period. Anything is from
Speaker 2: a libertarian perspective, is a choice.
Speaker 1: But and that's probably why in the beginning of.
Speaker 2: The conversation about fun and you're saying I'm done with fun,
Speaker 2: I think I wasn't having fun. I was maybe in
Speaker 2: the past feeling used instead of feeling like I was
Speaker 2: asking for sex.
Speaker 3: Well, and that's the thing I think in the moment,
Speaker 3: even with writing this book, going back to some of
Speaker 3: the episodes that were referenced and the partners that I
Speaker 3: know I had, at those times, I was like, was
Speaker 3: this fun? Was I having the sex because I really
Speaker 3: enjoyed it? Or did it validate me because a man
Speaker 3: actually wanted to fuck me because I had very low
Speaker 3: self estee.
Speaker 1: I don't think they'll ever know.
Speaker 3: Well, but oh no, no, no, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I'm working through that right now where it's like, actually,
Speaker 3: if I sit here and in my moment talk about
Speaker 3: what that experience was today, I'm crying about it, which
Speaker 3: means the power that maybe I expressed on the podcast
Speaker 3: and the podcast on the moment where.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I did this, I got that money
Speaker 1: got fluid out. Uh uh.
Speaker 3: When I reliving and rethinking of what those moments were,
Speaker 3: I realized that I was lying to myself.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's where being liberated now.
Speaker 3: Having this podcast and knowing we're going to be here
Speaker 3: for a little longer, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I really want to.
Speaker 3: Be intentional on if I'm having sex with someone, how
Speaker 3: and why is it making me feel as great as
Speaker 3: I used to believe it made me feel because I
Speaker 3: realized that it made me feel good because I felt wanted.
Speaker 1: I felt sexy, but.
Speaker 3: It was only because men actually wanted me in a
Speaker 3: space where I would cry that boots wouldn't go at
Speaker 3: my calves. I could only wear stretched pants because jeans
Speaker 3: didn't fit me. I was a size eighteen and I'm
Speaker 3: sitting here and I'm like, oh I was so I
Speaker 3: also was poor. So a nigga buying a flight meant
Speaker 3: so much, bitch, we buy flights like it ain't nothing. Now,
Speaker 3: you just said you want to beat the and plan
Speaker 3: nation in seventy two hours. So like, even my relationship
Speaker 3: with money was so different that my association with sex,
Speaker 3: I felt like that was all I could offer, and
Speaker 3: it brought me joy that people wanted to have it with.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you are just making me think of something.
Speaker 2: Someone I know is having sex with a really rich
Speaker 2: man okay, who they've been having sex with for a
Speaker 2: long time. Okay, And they said to me this morning,
Speaker 2: this is someone who has an amazing job and it's
Speaker 2: gorgeous and it's like lit. They were like, sometimes when
Speaker 2: I'm with him and we're just doing that thing, I
Speaker 2: feel like I got to be the sex girl because
Speaker 2: I'm like, look at all these things you have, like
Speaker 2: why are you here? And I was like, really, like
Speaker 2: as smart as you are and as hot as you are,
Speaker 2: like anyone would die to be with you, and that's
Speaker 2: why you have this guy.
Speaker 1: Tell you later.
Speaker 3: But that's so what she said is exactly what I'm
Speaker 3: trying to figure out right now. I know now I'm
Speaker 3: not I don't want to lead with sex because I
Speaker 3: actually am finally in a moment where oh, I know,
Speaker 3: why A you're here.
Speaker 1: I'm cool as fuck, I'm little as fuck.
Speaker 3: I got my old ship and so I'm the opposite
Speaker 3: Brianda and I just had this conversation.
Speaker 1: Maybe I said the opposite you said.
Speaker 3: Wait wait, I kind of said the same thing you said,
Speaker 3: but I was like, she was like, dude, I was
Speaker 3: looking at you on stage and I just thought, you're
Speaker 3: the hottest girl.
Speaker 1: You're so pretty, like you're one of my hottest friends.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what, girl, I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, I'm not saying I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm hot.
Speaker 3: I was like she was like, and she was saying
Speaker 3: something in terms of like a man wanting to be
Speaker 3: with me, and I was like, there's so many beautiful women, Breonda,
Speaker 3: like I see them every day.
Speaker 2: I think men want to be with me because I'm cool.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if it's because I'm attractive anymore.
Speaker 2: Like I think that men are so attracted to my personality.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if niggas look at me like
Speaker 2: I'm pretty. There's so many levels to like what men
Speaker 2: think bad bitches are nowadays.
Speaker 3: Oh absolutely that like I we don't like me and
Speaker 3: you are not.
Speaker 1: We don't edit our photos like that.
Speaker 3: Listen and y'all see me and say I look better
Speaker 3: in person, so I let it. I love hearing that,
Speaker 3: Oh my god. But it's not because they all say
Speaker 3: we look makes you want to take this shit off YouTube?
Speaker 3: You bitches like, no, it's just they know that we
Speaker 3: look better in person. Makes me feel good.
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3: But that's where I'm like, Actually, first off, I know
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be your best fuck. I know I'm gonna
Speaker 3: eat your ass like another bitch, don't. I know I'm
Speaker 3: gonna have fun and we can go out and your
Speaker 3: homeboys don't like me, your friends don't like me, you'll
Speaker 3: everyone is gonna enjoy me. And so now I know that.
Speaker 3: So I'm not leading with sex anymore. And that's where
Speaker 3: I'm like, because I'm the show. So then what is
Speaker 3: my power then of sex with somebody? How does that
Speaker 3: liberate me to know that I am and I also
Speaker 3: feel this way. Let me also be very clear, outside
Speaker 3: of all the other ways I showed up, my ex
Speaker 3: got all of me. And I realize now though, that
Speaker 3: sex is giving somebody a lot of you that a
Speaker 3: lot of these niggas don't deserve.
Speaker 2: And that's that's why I think I only had one
Speaker 2: new body last year. I fucked BDD and Dread.
Speaker 1: That's it and Lamba Lambot was new Lambert was that
Speaker 1: was the year before. I remember we did the plan
Speaker 1: the episode.
Speaker 3: At the top of the year we show d and
Speaker 3: it's funny that you've made that face the show did
Speaker 3: Alex said that to me.
Speaker 1: Like, nah, bitch, you fucked somebody. I was like dating
Speaker 1: a celibate nigga. Oh and you were dating the celibate nigga.
Speaker 2: So then BDD and I had sex and then I
Speaker 2: met Dread. But hopefully I got some dick for a
Speaker 2: new dick in New Year. But who But anyway, point
Speaker 2: is I realized, like.
Speaker 1: I mean, technically, you also funck the bitch that spelt
Speaker 1: like shit. No, she didn't tuck me. Well, you fucked her.
Speaker 1: I didn't. She shipped on me and she didn't shit
Speaker 1: on you. You fingered her as shit. Sure bad, but yeah,
Speaker 1: she's shit on. I hate it. I'm weak.
Speaker 3: Anyways, That's kind of like where I've been with my
Speaker 3: mind about sex and what it means to me and
Speaker 3: how do I feel liberated again with giving somebody something
Speaker 3: that I know they want without getting what I want essentially,
Speaker 3: And I think that that's where I'm at too. That's
Speaker 3: why I'm like, Okay, in what ways do I need
Speaker 3: a man to show up? Because if I'm going to
Speaker 3: give them sex and that's all they want from me,
Speaker 3: I do want to be sure I'm getting something. And
Speaker 3: I think that that's why me and twenty four to
Speaker 3: seven have been rocky, because I let them know I
Speaker 3: felt empty. Yeah, And I shared that on Patreon if
Speaker 3: y'all want to join us on Patreon. I explained that,
Speaker 3: like sex in the moment was so fulfilling, but then
Speaker 3: after I felt empty and I didn't feel good after sex,
Speaker 3: Like I felt like, damn it, now you're gone, and
Speaker 3: now now I don't feel.
Speaker 1: I think you're going to get back to where you were.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm trying to fuck this twenty two year
Speaker 1: old bit.
Speaker 2: I just think that in this particular moment of your life,
Speaker 2: you had a huge breakup, a lot of changes, a
Speaker 2: tony of changes.
Speaker 1: I think you just need a second, you know, which is.
Speaker 3: Why I've been celebrated for as long as I have.
Speaker 3: And I literally was like, abstince, I'm glad that I
Speaker 3: was bitch.
Speaker 1: Shut up.
Speaker 3: Anyways, real quick, we're starting off the air. Let's do
Speaker 3: homemail before we get up out of here. So the homemail.
Speaker 3: By the way, y'all know you can send us your
Speaker 3: homemail at Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Please send some homemail because I like reading your tea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but also label it homemail. Okay, So hey, Weezy
Speaker 3: and Mandy spelled both of our names wrong. But let's
Speaker 3: get into it. I want to start by shouting, yeah,
Speaker 3: I love you ladies so so.
Speaker 1: Much, not enough. I did right, see your names wrong?
Speaker 3: I deal Bessie's for real, And so you know I've
Speaker 3: been a faithful listener since way back when, because is
Speaker 3: there anything else better to do? No, you're right, speller
Speaker 3: names right now. This is how we are not going
Speaker 3: to start off the new year. But this is why
Speaker 3: I wanted to read this. Okay, now to get to
Speaker 3: the real reason for this email. I've been involved with
Speaker 3: my situationship for like over a decade now, oh yes,
Speaker 3: decade because the things we do behind closed doors were
Speaker 3: blank just insert there. And we recently got into a
Speaker 3: heated argument via text over the fact that I didn't
Speaker 3: want to give him no plussy. I looked at it
Speaker 3: as payback because he was supposed to drop some dick
Speaker 3: off for my birthday, and he did it. We exchanged words.
Speaker 3: His were a bit more hurtful than mine, and hurtful
Speaker 3: enough to cut that nigga off for good. I won't
Speaker 3: disclose everything that was said, but he basically said fuck
Speaker 3: me and called me an ugly bitch. I do believe
Speaker 3: this to be true because he has never once complimented
Speaker 3: me on my looks and isn't affectionate in the bedroom now.
Speaker 3: At first, I was a tad bit in my feelings
Speaker 3: because who wants to hear those words?
Speaker 1: But on the other hand, it kind of turned me on,
Speaker 1: knowing he.
Speaker 3: Supposedly isn't attracted to me yet fucked and beg for
Speaker 3: this pussy like.
Speaker 1: It was his last Ooh.
Speaker 3: I haven't spoken to him in over five months now,
Speaker 3: a beggar, but I can't stop thinking about the fact
Speaker 3: that if he was to hit me up for sex,
Speaker 3: I would answer and proudly sit on that dick, knowing
Speaker 3: he finds me unattractive and loudly recite fuck this ugly pussy.
Speaker 3: Dren pounds out. If you want to see photos of
Speaker 3: me to be the judge, I'll gladly send them over.
Speaker 3: I didn't respond to that. She said, and I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna lie. He's fine fine. I mean green Eye is fine?
Speaker 3: Am I green Eyes? I don't know, maybe because I'm
Speaker 3: talking about how fine he is? He said, am I
Speaker 3: Delulu in my mandy?
Speaker 1: Boys?
Speaker 3: Is this a kink? Apologies for the long email? Continue
Speaker 3: keeping it cute? Signed an ugly hope.
Speaker 1: Weey? What what is your immediate thought on this?
Speaker 2: I don't think he thinks she's ugly. I think he
Speaker 2: was just angry. Okay, because ten years you're attracted to somebody.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm listening ten years.
Speaker 1: And also I'm not going to judge someone's photos at all.
Speaker 1: No me neither.
Speaker 2: But in an argument calling someone ugly, I've called old
Speaker 2: Day ugly.
Speaker 1: He's not ugly.
Speaker 3: He's handsome. Literally people stopping the street and think he's
Speaker 3: a model. Like I've called him ugly because I'm mad.
Speaker 3: I think that when people are angry with you, they
Speaker 3: hit below the belt. There's thing I wish I could
Speaker 3: take back that I said about people. Whether I actually
Speaker 3: let me say this.
Speaker 2: I don't really talk about people's weight, mainly because I
Speaker 2: just think that's so.
Speaker 1: I could call you so many worse things. Right to me,
Speaker 1: waight is like you know what I'm saying. I could
Speaker 1: talk about your kids, bitch, because like if you will
Speaker 1: and do. Oh.
Speaker 2: One of the meanest things I've ever said to someone
Speaker 2: was there's nothing I could say to you that's worse
Speaker 2: than what you think about yourself.
Speaker 1: I know you hate yourself.
Speaker 3: And I said that in an email for real to
Speaker 3: the x oh bitch Justine, and then he wrote me
Speaker 3: back telling me how much he loves himself. Okay, narcissists
Speaker 3: don't believe. You don't when someone really hates themselves, Like
Speaker 3: I feel bad I did.
Speaker 2: You said something real mean about someone's partner when we
Speaker 2: were on the way from DC, and you were like,
Speaker 2: he is a peon and she treats him like one,
Speaker 2: as he should, and I was like, I don't remember
Speaker 2: which one, but yeah, and I remember thinking like, and
Speaker 2: she's right, Like, when there's something mean you can say
Speaker 2: about somebody, you will. So I've definitely hit blowed the
Speaker 2: belt just because I've wanted to hurt someone. Niggas just
Speaker 2: say me and shit, But I think you know, you
Speaker 2: wanting to give someone sex that you feel disrespected by
Speaker 2: will affect you later.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. That's where I went with this.
Speaker 3: You believe him when he called you ugly, so you
Speaker 3: have deep insecurities within yourself right now, which you haven't
Speaker 3: spoke to him in five months, but you said if
Speaker 3: he hits you, you would give him pussy because he's fine, fine, fine,
Speaker 3: And so there's validation, like I brought up earlier, there's
Speaker 3: validation in this finess man wanting to fuck you when
Speaker 3: you feel unattractive, the fact that he called you an
Speaker 3: ugly bitch, and you're like, and he's right, that's the problem. Like,
Speaker 3: you're never going to be treated better or respected or
Speaker 3: get anything that you feel like you fully deserve if
Speaker 3: you don't feel like you deserve it. And so if
Speaker 3: this man can call you ugly and disrespect you and
Speaker 3: hit you below the belt, and five months later you're
Speaker 3: sitting in an email saying he was right and if
Speaker 3: he hits me up, I still want to fuck him,
Speaker 3: and then trying to trick yourself to believe it's a kink. No,
Speaker 3: you're you're just in a state of insecurity right now.
Speaker 1: And then maybe you don't feel good.
Speaker 3: And sex they make you feel good, I bet you,
Speaker 3: especially when it's a litle finance you've.
Speaker 2: Got to figure out the beauty from the inside. I
Speaker 2: know that sounds super cliche, but you gotta hear me. Wait,
Speaker 2: the way to not make it feel cliche. So when
Speaker 2: I felt ugly or ugliest was for me. Wait, we
Speaker 2: all have so much trauma with I know a lot
Speaker 2: of my Latina friends their their parents call him fat
Speaker 2: all the time, right.
Speaker 1: Huh Gordon, Yeah you're getting big. They always be like,
Speaker 1: why you get so fat?
Speaker 2: My mom I love her to death, but my mom
Speaker 2: celebrates me losing weight so much that she never calls
Speaker 2: me fat.
Speaker 3: She just like, whoa, you look so good. You look
Speaker 3: so much better than you did if you want. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's just it's like a little too.
Speaker 1: Much, okay.
Speaker 2: But my mom is very old school, right, Like she
Speaker 2: thinks skinny is king, which a lot of people do,
Speaker 2: and so I think that fucked me up a lot.
Speaker 2: Now we all know, Miss Jewels is great. Old people
Speaker 2: don't know what they're doing. My mom is seventy two
Speaker 2: seventy three in a week, and like she just doesn't know.
Speaker 2: Like literally saw me naked changing recently in LA and
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I mean your body, this
Speaker 2: is your best because you weren't.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were not like and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh man.
Speaker 3: So I think back to moments when this happened, and
Speaker 3: it made me hate how I looked. Or it could
Speaker 3: be Old Bay telling me that I needed to lose
Speaker 3: weight or whatever it was. And so when I say, within,
Speaker 3: you got to do something that makes you feel beautiful.
Speaker 3: For me, it was constant upkeeps with hair and makeup,
Speaker 3: putting on a cuter outfit when I was leaving the house.
Speaker 3: And I literally had a nigga tell me recently the
Speaker 3: way that he knew I could dress because he ran
Speaker 3: into me.
Speaker 1: He was like, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I look like shit.
Speaker 2: He's like, you think you look like shit because you
Speaker 2: ain't got no makeup on but your foot put together
Speaker 2: that little run around the street fit. That's how when
Speaker 2: you know someone can dress, start doing those little fucking
Speaker 2: things that make you feel better. Think about when you
Speaker 2: get dressed to go out and everybody tells you how
Speaker 2: nice you look. Start just putting a little more effort
Speaker 2: into yourself that makes you feel more beautiful, including working out.
Speaker 2: You keep talking about Bar Alive, like I think bar
Speaker 2: is something that's it sounds super simple.
Speaker 1: When you say it, but it's doing a lot.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, I just to Crystal Antsacy both
Speaker 3: my friends.
Speaker 1: No what I said. I'm not saying it's not hard.
Speaker 3: I'm not a simple like saying, oh no, bitch. She
Speaker 3: wasn't there looking at me like no flexibility. She said, no, nope,
Speaker 3: I mean simple.
Speaker 2: Isn't just one class making you feel like that that
Speaker 2: is a thing.
Speaker 1: So you have to find your thing.
Speaker 3: Bitches need to hide you and think about your thing.
Speaker 3: But it ain't this nigga Core Mind's episode. A lot
Speaker 3: of people laughing at that. TJ Max girl.
Speaker 1: Oh bitch, they doing Thanksgiving together? Oo do you know?
Speaker 1: Ooh y'all want a little update? Ooh real quick because
Speaker 1: I know we leave it, so hit him up.
Speaker 2: I was like, yo, you're gonna be New York with
Speaker 2: thanks Dave, And he's like, no, no, no, I'm taking Shorty
Speaker 2: to my parents' house and whatever.
Speaker 1: Look at you dating our episode.
Speaker 3: No. I asked him what he's doing. That's last time
Speaker 3: I caught up with him. Okay, So he said, I'm
Speaker 3: taking her to so and so for Thanksgiving And he said, yoh,
Speaker 3: you ain't ship for that episode talking about how much
Speaker 3: money I've made and then people gonna know it's me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, they're not.
Speaker 2: And then he said, just to be clear, I offered
Speaker 2: her to quit her job, and I was like, doing
Speaker 2: what he said. I offered her a position and she
Speaker 2: told me no, And I was like, okay.
Speaker 1: Good for. I agree, good for, like keep spending money
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 3: I mean, depends how young she is. She young, she's stupid,
Speaker 3: take that job now. He said that I downplayed her position.
Speaker 3: But I guess it's TJ Max Marshall's home goods, some
Speaker 3: kind of I used to work.
Speaker 1: I used to work it wrong.
Speaker 2: But like he says, she's still she still be at
Speaker 2: the motherfucker TJ Max every day. But he's like, but
Speaker 2: it is like a little bit better than I explained.
Speaker 2: But he's like, yo, but he's like, even in my
Speaker 2: bit brain, I feel you like there are moments where
Speaker 2: I go out and I'm trying not to feel that way.
Speaker 2: People will ask her what she does for a living,
Speaker 2: and he was like, she'll fucking name drop TJ Max,
Speaker 2: and I'll be sitting there like Nigga, we're a damage
Speaker 2: and buffalo, Like Rihanna's at the other table.
Speaker 1: What's wrong?
Speaker 2: With you, and he's like, but I can't do that
Speaker 2: because I'm in love with this person. So I mean,
Speaker 2: I love girl. So I say all that to say.
Speaker 2: One of the things that he said about her dimentioned
Speaker 2: on por Mines is she's always doing shit to like
Speaker 2: improve herself and he found that so sexy.
Speaker 3: We all should be doing that. Bruh, b these niggas,
Speaker 3: we need to do it for us and they will
Speaker 3: find you.
Speaker 2: That girl was walking around the fucking airport. Do you
Speaker 2: attract people when you're doing shit like that? So if
Speaker 2: you want to fucking be attractive to people, you got
Speaker 2: to be attractive to yourself.
Speaker 1: Start pouring in and so this nigga, ain't it sis?
Speaker 1: And yes you're int Lulu, right? He ain't that fine?
Speaker 1: Send me a matter of factn't send me a picture.
Speaker 1: You send me a picture picture. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: break you look like well.
Speaker 3: Anyway, y'all, make sure you support us by subscribing to
Speaker 3: our Patreon. We have a ton of new content coming
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty four, so make sure you rock out
Speaker 3: with us on Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 3: We are no longer eighteen plus and you should be
Speaker 3: able to find us. Also make sure you follow us
Speaker 3: on on Instagrams and such. It's at Horrible Underscore Decisions
Speaker 3: and then at Horrible Pod on Twitter. Thank y'all so
Speaker 3: much for listening to yet another episode of Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 1: Peace, Fine,