WEBVTT - Rest is Part of Your Job 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:11.000 Hello, Hello everyone, Happy Monday. Today is May twentieth, which 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.360 means we're almost halfway through the year. There's about six 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:16.599 months left in twenty twenty four. That is crazy. So 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.279 I hope you guys use that time wisely and work 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:23.159 towards accomplishing your goals. And that actually brings me to 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:26.080 the topic for this week's episode. It's something I've been 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:28.240 wanting to talk about for a while, and I want 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:30.840 to talk about the importance of rest. 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:33.080 So let's get into it. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:37.640 This is Cheeky's and chill okay, guys, So I know 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:39.839 it's important to work hard and to be disciplined and 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:41.320 focused in order to reach your goals. 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:42.239 Yes, we know that. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.280 We see it everywhere, you know, especially like on social media. 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:49.120 That hustling or hustler mentality, should I say, and I 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:51.839 completely agree with that. Yes, I'm all for it. But 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:55.600 there's another side to that, and that is rest. The 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:59.080 importance of rest, you guys. I cannot stress enough how 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:02.000 important it is, telling you guys from experience, and I 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.200 think that that's the best place to speak from is 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.560 from experience, and I think I'm going to start there 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:09.760 before we get into everything and why I feel it's 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.920 super important. I'm going to try to make this short 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:15.839 and sweeten to the point. In twenty eighteen, I had 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:19.440 a meltdown. I had to take a break. I think 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.399 I've mentioned this a few times on the pod. For 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.280 about three months from social media, I was working a lot, 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:26.440 and I'm grateful. 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:27.759 No, my was stuck a hatam. 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:29.800 I don't like to complain about the amount of work 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:31.720 that I have because I love to work. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:32.679 I love to be busy. 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:35.160 I myself put a lot of things on my plate 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.760 because now I know how to handle it, you know. 0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:40.960 But before I was starting my music career, things were 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:43.600 going really well. I was going through a lot personally 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.600 in my personal life, and my career was doing good. 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:50.120 I had about seventy six I remember it was about 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:55.760 seventy six close to eighty shows nightclubs, okay, And I 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:59.400 was working a lot, and I think I was just 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:01.520 trying to spec Towards the end of that tour, which 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.160 was the apochim A tour, I wasn't getting enough rest, 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:07.200 I mean, especially doing nightclubs, which I'm so grateful for 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:11.160 those moments and those shows because they helped me prepare 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.640 for what I'm doing now. So I felt like that 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.600 was my footwork. I really had to do that in 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:19.919 order to grow. It gave me the opportunity to grow 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:23.480 and get to know myself as an artist. But I 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.840 didn't know the importance of rest. I was just working, working, working, 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:28.000 And then it got to the point where I was like, 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:29.680 I'm just trying to numb everything. I'm just trying to 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.800 get through this, and I'm just going to drink. And 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:35.360 I was drinking a lot, and I was drinking excessively 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:38.800 to get through the shows, and I was suppressing feelings. 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:41.840 I was obviously missing my mom. I had to stop going 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.880 to therapy, I had to stop going to church because 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.880 my shows were on the weekend. So a lot of 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.840 these shows would start, I kid you not around twelve am, 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:55.400 one am, two am. Sometimes I wouldn't get off stage 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.840 until like three four, and then I would do meet 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.760 and greets, and I wouldn't go to sleep until five 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:02.520 and in the morning, six in the morning, and because 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:04.120 we had to go with something eight afterwards, you know, 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:07.360 and then we would wake up and neither drive to 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:09.960 the next city or fly and I just was not 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.880 getting enough rest and it was driving me nuts. I 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.640 felt it in my skin in my body. I was 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.320 gaining a lot of weight. This is all before I 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:21.080 figured out my whole thyroid issue, my hormones, everything, everything 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:22.080 was just all out of whack. 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.840 So I met. 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:30.200 A couple who are pastors, Javier and Cynthia Buelna. I 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.679 met them through my sister Jackie and she told me 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:35.480 about them. I went to their church and he started 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.240 mentoring me, and I was just telling him how I 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:41.440 was feeling. And that's who told me that rest was 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.800 a part of my job, that it was just as 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:47.920 important as all my shows. That I needed to speak 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.440 to the team and I needed to take matters into 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.800 my own hands and take control of my career. That 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:57.360 I was the leader, and that yes I had a 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:01.080 team and they're important, but that I had to speak up. 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:03.160 And I was very afraid to speak up. Then I 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:05.840 was still trying to get out that whole thing of 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.440 being a people pleaser, and I was like, no, I 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.160 got to work. This is what I have to do. 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:11.960 I have to work really hard in order to make it. 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:15.400 And like I just felt this immense fucking pressure, so 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.240 I wouldn't speak up. I just say, Okay, well this 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:18.680 is what I got to do. I mean, I saw 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.120 my mom do it. I saw my family do it, 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:22.560 like this is how it has to be done. So 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:24.719 when I had this conversation with him, I had an epiphany. 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:27.440 I saw the light. I was like, oh my gosh, 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:32.200 and I started thinking about, yes, my family are very 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:34.760 hard working, all of them, my grandpa, my grandma, all 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.560 my uncles, my mother, my mom didn't even know how 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.480 to take vacations, you guys, Like my mom was all 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.280 about work, work, work, work, and even if we were 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:45.039 on vacation, she was on her BlackBerry, texting, answering emails. 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.200 And that's what I felt that life had to be. 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.520 Until I had a meltdown and I was like, enough 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:54.520 is enough. I can't do this. I remember telling my assistant. 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:55.840 Then I was like, take me to the hospital. I 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:57.640 need to go to the hospital, like I felt like 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.120 I needed to rest. The only way I was going 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.120 to rest if I was like submitted into like some 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:06.000 type of sanctuary of peace, or take me to the hospital. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:07.720 I literally told her that. I stopped her on the 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.599 freeway and I was having an anxiety check. I said, I 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:11.680 can't do this, like I feel like I'm gonna die. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.360 Like it was the craziest feeling ever. So anyways, thank 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:17.760 goodness for who I now call Javier and Cynthia, who 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:20.240 I now call mom and dad. They really helped me 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:22.560 just see things in a different way. And going back 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.640 to what I was saying was I started thinking and 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:30.560 realizing that my family, as much as I admire their 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:35.320 hard work, my grandpa never really knew how to take 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.000 vacations or how to relax. It's just like we would 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:39.960 wake up at five in the mornings, four in the morning, 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:42.320 and it was just it's great. I think waking up, 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.040 you know, the five am club, you guys, is great, 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:47.920 don't get me wrong, But I feel like there wasn't 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:52.560 enough balance. And I started realizing that I didn't want 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.360 to be that way, that I wanted to live a 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.800 healthier life. I wanted to feel good and I wanted 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.560 to enjoy what I was doing, and in order to 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:04.360 enjoy I had to take a few steps back and rest. 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:06.719 And I'm telling you all of this because this is 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:11.479 why I'm so passionate about this subject and I wanted 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.880 to share it with you guys, because I went through 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.320 it and I know what it feels like to have 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.640 a breakdown, to have you know what I mean, And 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.120 I've seen and I've. 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.640 Heard a lot of artists that go through it as well. 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.840 And I'm like, if I can help people prevent and 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:29.160 not feel guilty more than anything, not only prevent them 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.640 from having a meltdown of their own, but for us 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:35.279 not to feel guilty. I felt guilty, and I realized 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:36.760 I was feeling guilty. I was like, oh my god, 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:38.360 if I'm not as hard working as my mom or 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:39.919 my grandpa, I'm not going to be successful. And I 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.440 had this like crazy ass pressure and now I'm so 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:45.440 much happier, you guys. I spoke to my team and 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.800 I told them, guys, I can't do this, Like I 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:49.000 need to take a break. I'm going to take a 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.000 break from everything, like in order for me to just 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:54.080 see where I want this career, my singing career to go, 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:58.240 I need to take freaking ten steps back and reevaluate 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.720 everything and analyze it and reflect. And I need to 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:03.560 stay away from social media because I don't want to 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.560 see what anyone else is doing because it gives you 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:06.400 you get fomo, you. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:06.800 Know what I mean. 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.919 You're like, oh my god, I'm not doing what I 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.800 think I should be doing, you know, what I mean. 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.880 So I did that and it really helped me. And 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.840 when I did that, I came back and I knew 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.040 what I wanted. I'm like, Okay, Sundays and Mondays, I 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.440 want to be off. I want to do whatever makes 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:23.920 me happy. I want to clean my house. I want 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:25.960 to just sit on the couch if that's what I feel. 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:26.480 Like doing that day. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.360 I want to freaking read a book. I want to 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.000 ride a bike, anything and everything. And it's no one's 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.560 business what I do on those days. And there was 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:37.600 a little bit of like, huh, you know, well Sundays 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.640 or shows and this and that. Yeah, that's fine, let's 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.560 have shows Thursdays and Fridays or Fridays and Saturdays, and 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:44.360 on Sundays, I'll be flying back and I could just 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:48.480 do whatever I want. And they didn't necessarily like it, 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.160 but I didn't care. I felt stronger than ever I 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.200 had come back, and I was like, I never want 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.160 to feel what I felt. And this is when I 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:59.360 started applying rest and whether some of my team feels 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.239 that now I take too many breaks or too many 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.080 I have too many vacations, Like, I don't care. I 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:07.760 have never been happier. You guys. Even if I don't 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:11.160 go away somewhere to a resort, I'm at home. I 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.360 want to clean my house. And it might sound weird, 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.720 but I want to do things that bring me joy 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:19.280 to my life, that helped me feel that balance of Yes, 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:21.360 I'm an artist, but I'm also a woman, and I 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.800 want to do things that make me happy. And having 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.680 a clean house and washing my own clothes and cooking 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:29.800 in my own kitchen makes me happy. And sitting on 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:31.760 my couch watching whatever the heck I want to watch 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:35.720 and I don't care. Before I was so afraid of, like, 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:40.839 I have to measure up and I'm telling you, guys, 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:44.920 even if it's a day, even if it's a few hours. 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.040 I know everyone's schedule is different. I knowpe some people 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:50.760 work and go to school at the same time. And 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.160 I commend you. I think it's a beautiful thing to 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:56.520 be hard working, to be a hustler. But there's a 0:08:56.559 --> 0:09:01.240 big difference between that and just chasing the rat race 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.959 of life, you know, and being stuck in it and 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:06.800 not stopping and smelling the roses. And I mean literally 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:10.760 stopping and smelling the roses literally and not so literally obviously, 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:16.360 but like even those little things that we sometimes don't 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:19.160 value and we don't see those little things in life 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.640 that make a huge difference. Because I was like that 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.040 for a long time. I was just so focused and 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.720 so honed in that I would not look around and realize, 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:30.880 oh my god, how beautiful the trees are or how 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:34.480 blue the sky is today. You just little things that 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.160 we can appreciate. So even like little things like that, 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:40.240 that's taking a break, that's taking a breather, getting out 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:42.000 of the office and on your lunch break, like not 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.480 being on social media, like just sitting and eating and 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:47.920 being present. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.080 You know, there's so much power in that and it 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.120 brings you back to you. 0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.440 Some of you may be asking yourselves, Okay, well how 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:01.640 do I fit this my schedule? Like I'm busy, I'm 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:05.320 a mom. You can and I don't want to hear 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:08.240 I don't have enough time, because a lot of us 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:10.160 say that, oh I didn't have enough time. No, we 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:13.360 have time. We have to make time. Whatever is our priority, 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:16.199 and you rest should be your priority because if not, 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:19.840 you're gonna start resenting your job. You're gonna start resenting 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:23.640 your boss, You're gonna start resenting your children, your husband, 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:27.160 your friends, like, it could be anything and everything. It 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.440 could be, Okay, I'm gonna work Monday through Friday, and 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:32.800 on Saturday, I'm gona hang out with friends, and on 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:36.000 Sunday I'm gonna do absolutely nothing. It could be that, 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.760 or it could be I want to have an active 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.480 rest day instead of sitting or laying in bed all day. 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:43.280 I'm gonna go take a bike ride, I'm gonna go 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:47.360 walk around, anything to just kind of get yourself out 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:51.920 of the reality of your job and that pressure of society. 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.959 And you have to be intentional. And again, we talk 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.040 about this word intentional a lot on this podcast, and 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.520 someone asked me the other day on Dear Cheeky's what 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.560 do you mean by being intentional? And I kept thinking, 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:04.199 I'm like, did I explain it correctly? So anyways, I 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:07.880 want to explain it again here. Being intentional also means 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:13.040 doing things with intention that don't come natural to you. 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:14.760 You know, things that come natural or just they come natural. 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:18.160 It's easy to do. But when you're being intentional about something, 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.880 you make the space, you make the room to do 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.840 whatever it is that you want to do. It's that's 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.680 what I mean by being intentional, like not forcing yourself, 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:31.240 but really being proactive and saying I'm going to make 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:34.520 these changes because I want to see a change, a 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.040 positive change in my life. That's being intentional, living with intent, 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:41.560 not just living to live and a betriqua pasa, let's 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:44.040 see what happens. It's like, no, I have the key 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.800 to my destiny, and every day I have choices, and 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:49.800 if I make the correct choice and I choose this 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:52.800 path instead of this one, then things are going to 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.360 turn out better. My destiny's going to be better. That's 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.680 what I mean about being intentional. So you have to 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:02.160 tell yourself and everyone around you needs to understand. I 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.240 am not gonna take phone calls. And I keep telling 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.520 my manager this Richard Bull. I was like, you really 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.200 need to rest because this guy works so much, and 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.920 I've told him myself, Hey, you need to chill, Like 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.400 you need to go away with your wife and just 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.520 be and f the phone and f the emails. It's 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:23.560 okay for one day to put your phone down and 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:27.240 just be and not feel guilty for just sitting by 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.800 the pool tanning and having a drink. Don't feel guilty 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:33.320 about that. So many people feel guilty. I feel guilty, 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:37.080 and we shouldn't because if we don't regenerate, if we 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:41.880 don't re energize, revitalize our bodies. That's why the doctor 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:46.000 always says you need anywhere from six to eight hours 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.360 of sleep, and eight is the best because we need 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:53.040 our body, our cells, our brain needs the rest in 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:57.200 order for us to be our best selves. Literally, our cells, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.920 our organs, everything in order for our body to function 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.360 and not get sick and not break down and not 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:07.360 create diseases. Rest is super important and essential. And also 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:12.320 obviously this taking time away from your everyday life and saying, okay, 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.400 even if it's once a month, you guys, it doesn't 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.319 have to be once a week. What I do is okay, 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.240 I'll work really hard for two weeks and then for 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.640 two days. On the third week, I'm like, peace out, 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.520 you guys. I need a break because if not, I'm 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.360 gonna start resenting my work. And I don't want to 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.040 because I love what I do and I want to 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.360 go into the studio and record songs and start my 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.040 tour and do it with love and be excited about 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:35.520 it because I'm all about working hard, and I will 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.200 work hard, and I will work hours, and I will 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.679 go the extra mile. That's who I am. But I've 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.800 learned that if I don't take at least two days 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.040 or a day to do absolutely nothing or to do 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.640 only what makes me happy. Like the other day, I 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.000 told everyone, leave me alone. It's Sunday. I'm gonna go 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:53.199 see Emilio's grandma. I want to hang out with his mom. 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:55.040 We're gonna go eat, and we're gonna go walk around 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:57.520 Santa Monica Promenade. And that's what I did, and I 0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.880 was so freaking happy. I had no makeup on it, 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:01.960 my hair and a ponytail. I put on some sweats. 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.360 I was completely Jeanne. I took a break from Cheeky's, 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.560 took off the extensions, put no makeup on, and I 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:11.880 just went and I was just living and I needed 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:12.680 it so badly. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:14.280 And then what did I do? The next day? 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:17.160 I flew out to New York and I was there 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.840 and I worked as soon as I got there. The 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:23.320 next day, I was working all day until like eleven PM, 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:25.440 and I had woken up like at six am. And 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:26.800 I was fine because I was like, oh, I had 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.600 a beautiful day that fulfilled me and it re energized me. 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.400 And right before the tour, I'm going to take a 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.920 little vac with the media for his birthday. 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:36.560 And why in the. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:37.880 Heck is someone going to be like, oh, she takes 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:39.840 so many vacations. First of all, I was none your business. 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:43.440 You're not paying my vacation, and you should do it too. 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.240 It doesn't have to be I don't know, fly somewhere, 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.040 like to a beach or to like a fancy island. 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.160 It could be in your backyard. Paradise is where you 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.960 make it, you guys. Paradise is in your mind. Paradise 0:14:55.120 --> 0:15:02.160 is what you consider paradise. I'm super happy ever since 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:06.080 I've made this change, and I've applied this to my 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.960 life and to be honest in my personal life with 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.160 like Emilio right now that we're going to take these 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:15.280 days off for his birthday because I start my tour 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.000 the week of his birthday. So I was like, Okay, 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.160 let me find some days in my schedule because those 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.880 things are important to me, because I don't want him 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:25.440 to feel neglected, because I love him, because he has 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.720 a priority in my life. My siblings are a priority 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.360 in my life. My friends are too, And I'll find 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:31.560 some time in my schedule to say hey, girls, A 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.800 month in advance, I have this day, do you guys 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:35.280 want to go to dinner? Because those are the things 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.640 that make me happy and it strengthens my relationships with 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.160 these people that I love and going back to a medium, 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:44.000 I did this, I think in the beginning of the 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.520 year because I knew I was going to have a 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:47.720 very busy year, and that's what I did. I said, 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.560 I want to celebrate him on his birthday. And I 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.280 had a conversation with him in the beginning of the 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:53.680 year as well, and I said, Hey, this year is 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.440 going to be crazy. We set this whole plan and 0:15:57.720 --> 0:15:59.680 I said, we're probably not going to be able to 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.360 vacate as much as we have in the past, but 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.200 I want you to know that I'm going to make 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:06.440 it a point to spend time with you, quality time, 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.800 because we've had that issue in the beginning of our 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.280 relationship where it was like I was on my phone 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.840 a lot, working and he's like, hey, like I want 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.440 us to be at dinner and for you to give 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:18.400 me your undivided attention, and I'm like, shit, I didn't 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.080 even realize I was doing that. And those are things 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.480 that I used to really dislike that my mom would 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.440 do and I'm like, damn, like okay, Like I want 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:29.000 to be present and it does make our relationship stronger 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.520 and he feels like appreciated and that's important to me. 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.359 So what I've done is like, these are my priorities, 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.360 and I have literally made a list you guys, of 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.440 things that make me happy. What makes me happy. Going 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:45.120 to church, spending time with my siblings, spending time with 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.880 my partner, spending time with his family, going to dinner 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:48.520 with my friends. 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:49.080 I like it. 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:52.120 I like to go and just talk and just chit chat, 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.080 you know what I mean, chitchat and just call it 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:56.320 she's mad, whatever it is. But I love to have 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:58.080 that go mad day time with my friends and have 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.920 a little drink, reading a book, like anything that's important. 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.440 There's times where I'm like, well what do I do? 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:04.360 I'm like, I have so much time on my hands 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:05.879 right now because I have a rest a And then 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:07.440 I look at my list and I'm like, oh, okay, cool, 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.280 I can do this. I can do that, And it's 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:11.920 helped me because those things are my priority and those 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.800 are the things that bring my life joy. And I 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.560 want the people that are in my life that I 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.800 love and that are important to me to know that 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:22.560 they're important to me and to feel it. Not just 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.040 for me to say it, but I want to show 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.080 them with actions. And I suggest that you guys do 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:29.119 that to really figure out who are the people that 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:30.840 I love to be around, What are the things that 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:35.679 really bring my life color? Make a list, and whenever 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.240 you forget or whenever you don't know what to do, 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:42.040 fit those things into your schedule. Don't just work work, work, 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.280 work and live live live live, and then you're like 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:47.639 working to live and not living to enjoy. And I 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.240 feel like now more than ever, we see that everywhere 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:55.480 it's like hustle, hustle, hustle, Like yes, but I also 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:57.320 have to live. I have to enjoy the things that 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:01.040 I'm creating, you know what I mean, the money I'm making, 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:02.879 Like I have to we have to figure out a 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.399 way to say, Okay, like maybe I can't go on 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:09.200 this elaborate trip, but I can take this extra little 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:11.200 money that I have a month, and I'm gonna, I 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.919 don't know, go to a museum. I have no idea, 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.440 you know what I mean? Like anything that brings you joy. 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.720 Basically that's a big word on this episode right now. 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:19.560 You guys. Joy. 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:24.560 Joy is priceless. Joy has no price tag, like that's free. 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:27.359 But we need to also find it and seek it 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:31.119 and do things to grasp it, you know, not to 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:35.040 lose that joy and feeding that inner child in us. 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:36.960 You know, we all have an inner child, like don't 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.399