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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Selective Ignorance. However,

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Speaker 1: before we get to this week's episode, I want to

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Speaker 1: remind you guys to purchase my book No Holds Barred,

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Speaker 1: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. So feel

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Speaker 1: free to go to your local bookstores preferably queer owned,

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Speaker 1: black owned, or woman owned to support them, but also

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Speaker 1: just click the button on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you read your books. Again. That is No Holds Barred,

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Speaker 1: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power written by

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Speaker 1: yours truly and my co host of the Decisions Decisions podcast, Weezy.

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Speaker 1: Make sure y'all get that. Now let's get to this

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Speaker 1: week's episode. This is Mandy B. Welcome to Selective Ignorance,

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Speaker 1: a production of The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: It's your Girl, Mandy B. Welcome to another episode of

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Speaker 1: bonus episode your Friday drop of Selective Ignorance. Really excited

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Speaker 1: about getting to two days a week. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how I have so much to say, but I do.

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Speaker 1: And so Friday episodes are going to be a little different.

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Speaker 1: Friday episodes will either lean into a specific topic that

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Speaker 1: me and a friend that I'm dragging on a mic

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Speaker 1: are going to have publicly or it's going to be

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Speaker 1: the day too. I guess the week of current events

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Speaker 1: that I feel have to be discussed. If you have

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Speaker 1: it yet, make sure you subscribe to Patreon because these

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Speaker 1: full videos will only be available on Patreon. However, you

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Speaker 1: can listen to them wherever you listen to Selective Ignorance.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to give you guys more content, and I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited to grow this platform to what I want

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Speaker 1: it to be. I've really been missing having these sorts

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Speaker 1: of conversations, and if you listened to see the thing

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Speaker 1: Is or even Periodsis, the conversations just go so much

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Speaker 1: deeper than what I am having over on decisions, decisions

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Speaker 1: formally horrible decisions, because again, that's such a niche platform.

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Speaker 1: But I do believe I have so much to say.

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Speaker 1: I do believe my opinions are one necessary that are needed.

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Speaker 1: And I also love to roll you motherfuckers up. And

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Speaker 1: I am joined today by y'all heard her on Tuesday

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Speaker 1: if you listen to the Tuesday Drop with my friend

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Speaker 1: who also loves to rile people up. No, I don't

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Speaker 1: know it just so happens. It just so happens that

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Speaker 1: it happens. And so the last time, not this week,

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Speaker 1: but the last time Karla joined me on Selective Ignorance,

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Speaker 1: it was her and Ray Daniels to talk about their

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Speaker 1: political somewhat stances or parties that they identify or don't

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Speaker 1: identify with, and we decided that they're both purple fucking blue,

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Speaker 1: fucker red. They definitely lean more towards the hue of bread,

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Speaker 1: but we're gonna call them purple. And so independents don't

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Speaker 1: make a dent in the goddamn presidential elections. So independence

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Speaker 1: to me are votes that could go to either or

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Speaker 1: that just end up in in fucking air personally. That

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Speaker 1: that's how I view it, you know. So AnyWho, I

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Speaker 1: have Carla on to have a conversation that will absolutely

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Speaker 1: get your blood boiling. Possibly, So we're gonna lean into

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Speaker 1: if you guys listen to Tuesday, I didn't do the

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Speaker 1: double down or take it back, because this essentially is

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Speaker 1: going to be a full lean into a double down

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Speaker 1: and take it back on her previous views on abortion.

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Speaker 1: We also have a clip from her podcast with her

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Speaker 1: co host Dexty, and they had a conversation around conversations

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Speaker 1: about planned I want to say, plain parenthood, but stop

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Speaker 1: playing parenthood right kind of around parenthood in terms of

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Speaker 1: having sex with a partner, and that conversation has had prior.

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Speaker 1: But then I also want us to lean into what

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Speaker 1: has had the Internet a blaze, and it is actually

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Speaker 1: Cardi B's decision to be pregnant with her fourth child

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Speaker 1: with a man she knew for six months while she

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Speaker 1: is still legally married. And we'll get into that to

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Speaker 1: wrap things up in But Carla, how are you? Are

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Speaker 1: you ready to fucking disagree? I'm ready. I'm ready. Listen.

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Speaker 2: I am on day one of a waterfast, so I

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Speaker 2: don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth.

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Speaker 1: And I am and I'm on my third cold broke

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Speaker 1: in the morning this morning, so I mad coffee. I'm

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Speaker 1: just drinking this water. I having ansint yesterday at five o'clock.

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Speaker 1: I am hungry. So, yeah, you're on the waterfast. I'm

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Speaker 1: on three cold bruise. We'll see where this conversation goes

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Speaker 1: because it is a he did one, and it's also

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Speaker 1: very interesting. We laid down our similarities before. I'm a

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Speaker 1: woman with no kids, doesn't want kids also aborted a kid.

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Speaker 1: Carla has is the mother of two. Have you had

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Speaker 1: an abortion before or no? I have actually never spoke

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Speaker 1: about it on my platform, but yes I have. Oh

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Speaker 1: so interesting, Oh the hypocrisy, can't wait to get into it.

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Speaker 1: So sorry, y'all. Shit. AnyWho, before we get started, and

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Speaker 1: how we're gonna start is to lean into the double

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Speaker 1: downer take it back. So I'm gonna play a clip

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Speaker 1: from Carla's podcast. Yeah, we're gonna start with that. That's

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Speaker 1: what we're starting with. And because out the gate, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna get into our thoughts on what conversations should be had,

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Speaker 1: what those conversations look like, if they're realistic, and all

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Speaker 1: the things. And of course this will also be an

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Speaker 1: episode where we get to share why we feel the

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Speaker 1: way we do, and of course we can't do that

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Speaker 1: without sharing stories of incidences in scenarios that we have

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Speaker 1: actually lived through and what decision we made and what

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Speaker 1: the outcome was. So real quick, We're gonna play this

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Speaker 1: clip from Carlo's Instagram just to get us going.

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Speaker 2: All right, at what point do you give your body

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Speaker 2: up to a man without having a conversation when you're

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Speaker 2: having unprotected sex.

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Speaker 3: All the time people hunch and don't have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: Well, we need you.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna let you like be misjudgmental. The last

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Speaker 3: person you hunch, you did not have a conversation. I

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Speaker 3: did swear before y'all hunch swear Carla.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you why, Carla.

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Speaker 2: I promise you bro to takee Kyla.

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Speaker 1: You're not listening to me on hunch. I'm thirty eight, Nona.

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Speaker 1: You know how traumatic an abortion can be on a woman. Bruh,

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Speaker 1: the abortion on a woman. Take that. Don't put the

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Speaker 1: trauma on a child. What trauma is she put in

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Speaker 1: a child?

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Speaker 2: When the child gets older and sees the fact that

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Speaker 2: their father don't want them publicly.

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Speaker 1: She don't have control over that, Yes she does. So

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Speaker 1: he's telling you don't want no baby, but you why

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Speaker 1: have the baby? You can't force her to have an abortion.

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Speaker 1: It's not a forced thing.

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Speaker 2: It's more of like, let's think about before you bring

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Speaker 2: a child into this world.

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Speaker 3: So would you have aborted if his dad said that

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Speaker 3: he didn't want him before he was born?

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Speaker 1: By the way, curious to know For anyone who didn't

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Speaker 1: see that episode, that's the So What Now? Podcast for

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Speaker 1: anyone who has not seen that. What was your answer

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Speaker 1: to that? As someone who is anti abortion at your age?

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Speaker 1: Not anti abortion? Okay, well your anti a certain number

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Speaker 1: of abortions, yes, but I'm curious as a mother of two,

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Speaker 1: And before we get deep into this conversation, if the

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Speaker 1: father of your child expressed that he did not want

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Speaker 1: the child, what what would have been your conversation? So

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Speaker 1: she asked specifically about my child? Now, are right? That's

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Speaker 1: that's all I'm asking is my specific child? My child? Wow? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so and so you are actually more pro woman

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Speaker 1: having an abortion than having a child with a partner

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Speaker 1: who doesn't want it. So here's what's happening with me.

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Speaker 2: And I want to give this disclaimer before I start talking.

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Speaker 1: We talked about in the last episode and we'll do

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Speaker 1: it again today.

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Speaker 2: Everything that we feel and we speak and the opinions

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Speaker 2: that we have literally come it's a direct correlation to

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Speaker 2: our past, our experiences, what we're going through. So at

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Speaker 2: the moment, I have a twenty year old.

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Speaker 1: And a four year old. I was a single. I

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Speaker 1: was married to Ayama, my daughter's dad, until she was

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Speaker 1: about six.

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Speaker 2: Then with my sons, I didn't want any more children,

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Speaker 2: and I was very adamant about it. Then I found

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Speaker 2: this new man and he was all about, I want

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Speaker 2: a child, and it just seemed perfect, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: maybe I can do it again. And it moved really fast,

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Speaker 2: and we had this baby, and there was a baby

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Speaker 2: that he wanted, and I'm like, this is gonna be

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Speaker 2: my chance to.

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Speaker 1: Do it again and have the family that I that

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Speaker 1: I always wanted.

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Speaker 2: Right, So when he decides to completely want become physically abusive, leave,

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Speaker 2: have nothing to do with the children, like change his

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Speaker 2: entire story that he told me. If I would have

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Speaker 2: known this beforehand, I would not have had a child

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 1: But again, twenty twenty. Hindsight is twenty twenty whatever, Hi,

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Speaker 1: I go, yep.

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Speaker 2: So when I speak, I'm speaking from the point of

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Speaker 2: view of a thirty eight big, thirty eight year old

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Speaker 2: age with experience of what this looks like and also

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Speaker 2: the experience of being an eighteen year old mom as well,

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Speaker 2: like when you're younger. And I give grace and we

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Speaker 2: talked about this in an old episode of Yours. I

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Speaker 2: do give grace to people that do not have the experience,

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Speaker 2: because life experience gets you here, right, And it's like

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Speaker 2: it's up to us when we know better, we do

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Speaker 2: better to want to do better. But that's not the

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Speaker 2: case with everyone. So not everyone wants to do better.

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Speaker 2: Not everyone just it's just what it is right. They

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Speaker 2: want to stay in what they know and they're okay

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Speaker 2: with that. That's a little frustrating for me. And I've

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Speaker 2: also realized that I do give grace to other people,

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Speaker 2: and those that are closest to me, I happen to

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Speaker 2: not give them as much grace because I want to

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Speaker 2: kind of control and I feel like I've taken this

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Speaker 2: kind of I don't know if this is the right word,

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Speaker 2: but like a god complex in a sense where it's like,

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Speaker 2: let me help you. I want to help and I

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Speaker 2: know this door. I know this door right here. If

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Speaker 2: you open it, it's going to get you to this

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Speaker 2: great place of piece of success, of whatever it may

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Speaker 2: be that you may want. And I want to do

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Speaker 2: that for you. And that's not my role in this world.

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Speaker 2: It is support and to not be judgmental over what

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Speaker 2: you want to do. Everyone has a different road to

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Speaker 2: get there, Everyone has different experiences that they have to

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Speaker 2: get to. And I've realized in the last actually it

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Speaker 2: was this week that with those closest to me, I

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Speaker 2: don't give them the grace because I'm like, girl, let

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Speaker 2: me just fix it for you, and that's not what

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Speaker 2: I'm here for. So with that being said, the answer

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Speaker 2: to it was Yes, if I knew at thirty four

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Speaker 2: that the man that was promising me this life and

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Speaker 2: that I was on the same track with wasn't, I

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Speaker 2: would not have had my child because I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's fair to him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think that that's real, and I think

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Speaker 1: that there's a lot of women that would would agree.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's It's the interesting part to

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Speaker 1: me when I hear people say they would have children

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Speaker 1: if they get married, knowing that marriages don't all last,

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Speaker 1: so the idea that they die, I mean, I mean,

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Speaker 1: all the things right, And so it's interesting because in

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Speaker 1: watching this clip, I understand the difference between an opinion

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Speaker 1: and reality. Now I actually agree with you in this clip.

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Speaker 1: I think that if you do decide.

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Speaker 2: To again, I've not heard that before me never, You've

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Speaker 2: never You've never heard that before.

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Speaker 1: So but I agree with the sentiments that you both

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Speaker 1: had only because I understand you saying what should happen

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Speaker 1: and what you do, and deck saying the reality of

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Speaker 1: what does happen and what majority does and so so

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Speaker 1: you saying that if you're gonna lay with a man

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Speaker 1: and have unprotected sex, that the conversation around parenting and

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Speaker 1: childbirth and the consequence of unprotected sex should be a conversation.

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Speaker 1: It should be. I also understand the fact that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people just like that temporary quote unquote great

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Speaker 1: feeling of unprotected sex. Right now, I want to share

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Speaker 1: a story of something that recently happened with me and

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Speaker 1: one of my previous partners. We're we're not dealing with

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Speaker 1: each other now, but there was a partner that we

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Speaker 1: had had sex a couple times and no lie. We

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Speaker 1: were on the phone one day and he goes, how

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Speaker 1: many more times do we have to have sex before

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Speaker 1: I can take the kind of off? And my response

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Speaker 1: was never, because ay, we both don't want children with

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Speaker 1: each other. I mean, I don't want kids at all,

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Speaker 1: So I'll speak for the both of us there. We

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Speaker 1: won't be having kids together, and we also weren't. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like we were talking about being in an exclusive

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Speaker 1: relationship and then fucking raw. He said, how many more

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Speaker 1: times do I gotta fuck you casually with a condom

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Speaker 1: before I could fuck you casually without a condom, knowing

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Speaker 1: that we both also have other partners. And it was

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Speaker 1: just interesting to me because I was just like this,

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Speaker 1: like he was dead ass, Like there was a real

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Speaker 1: seriousness that he had in asking me when he can

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Speaker 1: insert his raw ass penis into my vagina without any exclusivity,

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Speaker 1: any future planning and me not wanting a child. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he could give me a whole lot of things. Baby.

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Speaker 1: The list is like goes on and on and on

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Speaker 1: if y'all really look up all the STDs that can

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Speaker 1: be contracted or all of the things. And so listening

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Speaker 1: to this clip and us having the conversation of women

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Speaker 1: having rights to make decisions around their body in terms

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Speaker 1: of keeping a baby or not keeping the baby, but

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Speaker 1: also just to me, the irresponsibility of majority of the

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Speaker 1: people who genuinely are out here thinking that it's fine

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Speaker 1: and normal to casually have sex unprotected without the conversations

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Speaker 1: around child planning is insane to be.

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Speaker 2: It's definitely more common than not, especially with you know,

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Speaker 2: we have secular music and we have.

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Speaker 1: Movies, and we not you.

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Speaker 2: Blaming entertainment now child well for sure, because again, like

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Speaker 2: we talked about last episode, this phone right here is

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Speaker 2: at everyone's fingertips at all times, is in our back pocket,

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Speaker 2: front pocket, our hand. It does not leave our side

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Speaker 2: for longer than too.

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Speaker 1: How do you how do you blame music and our

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Speaker 1: phones as to why people are having unprotected sex. So

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Speaker 1: it's not a blame. I think it's a factor, right.

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Speaker 2: But the same way that that those music or movies

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Speaker 2: are out there, so are we right here speaking right

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Speaker 2: So this is also at their fingertips, also on their phones,

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Speaker 2: also on their social media. So we can now tell them, hey,

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Speaker 2: from our past experience, maybe some young women will actually say,

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Speaker 2: you know what, I may want to ask someone about

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Speaker 2: what they want to do. Because my conversation with that

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Speaker 2: specific partner that I was speaking on was we know

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Speaker 2: each other for some months.

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Speaker 1: Prior and we talked about he was very sure he

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Speaker 1: did not want children.

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Speaker 2: He's like, if I have another child, I will tell

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Speaker 2: you I will not be in that child's life. I'll

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Speaker 2: pay child support and that's it. I don't want any

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Speaker 2: parts of it. And for me was I absolutely do

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Speaker 2: not want any more children. I am, I don't care.

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Speaker 2: The Lord himself has to come up here. To me,

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Speaker 2: I will have to be virgin Mary literally waking up

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Speaker 2: one day and I'm nine months pregnant, and you won't

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Speaker 2: want any more children. Now with that specific person, why,

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Speaker 2: I'm one of the reasons why it didn't work out

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Speaker 2: so many But I did not like the fact that

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Speaker 2: he was so adamant that he did not want any

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Speaker 2: more children but refused to aseectomy, but was okay with

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Speaker 2: me being on birth control.

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Speaker 1: So that's I think the bigger conversation that I'm having

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Speaker 1: now too with my partners, and luckily, like my boyfriends

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Speaker 1: now are just as conscious and don't want kids. Either

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Speaker 1: one of them has has children and doesn't want anymore,

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Speaker 1: and then the other two have no kids. By the way,

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Speaker 1: I have three, and impossible one of them I'm not

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Speaker 1: having actually two of them, I'm not having sex. With

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Speaker 1: the two of them I am. And so the conversations

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Speaker 1: around that have been interesting because they've agreed to use

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Speaker 1: condumns because we're on the same page right in terms

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Speaker 1: of not wanting other children and also understanding that we

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Speaker 1: have multiple partners. But the conversation often does lead to,

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Speaker 1: if I don't want kids, why do I not just

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Speaker 1: get on birth control, and so this idea that I

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Speaker 1: have to put something into my body allow you to

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Speaker 1: enter me raw as if there's not all of these

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Speaker 1: other things at play, And it's just crazy. I don't

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Speaker 1: understand if a man does not want kids, why he

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Speaker 1: can't just go in get the surgery and snip his balls, like,

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Speaker 1: go get neutered, like and what the.

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Speaker 2: Fuck to be through all these hormones in and out

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Speaker 2: And it's like, I could literally just let my body flow,

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Speaker 2: get a period when it's supposed.

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Speaker 1: To, let my let let let me let me go,

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Speaker 1: my my brain, my brain, or all.

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Speaker 2: These hormones going on, And you're trying to tell me

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Speaker 2: like if you get pregnant, if you get pregnant, I'm

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Speaker 2: not gonna be there. I don't want this kid da,

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Speaker 2: But I'm also not gonna do it. And it's not

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Speaker 2: just with me because obviously we parted ways. He's gonna

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Speaker 2: be with other women. But I'm like, you're constantly, not constantly,

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Speaker 2: but you're with other women risking having children.

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Speaker 1: You're the one that shoots bru bird. Just pick the

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Speaker 1: clip out. B birth control affects your mood and hormones,

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Speaker 1: It affects your skin it affects your weight, it affects

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Speaker 1: all the things inside your goddamn body. And there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of men who you know that they're bringing up

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Speaker 1: allegedly the mail Berger Control And there's been men that

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Speaker 1: don't want to go on it because of the symptoms

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Speaker 1: that they would have to face. And I'm just like, oh, really,

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Speaker 1: but you want but you want me to be on it.

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Speaker 1: I want to get into the bigger part of this

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Speaker 1: conversation because in terms of making the decisions that you want,

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Speaker 1: another part of your take from your episode leads into this.

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Speaker 1: You talked about the trauma that the child would have

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Speaker 1: to endure by either knowing that their father didn't want them,

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Speaker 1: by bringing them into a single parent household, by whatever

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Speaker 1: trauma is brought about by a woman choosing to have

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Speaker 1: a baby and the man not or just a woman

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Speaker 1: deciding to have a baby and not the best of circumstances, right,

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Speaker 1: And I go, I say all that to lead into

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Speaker 1: there has been now a two to three week conversation

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Speaker 1: around Cardi B's announcement of her child with NFL star

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Speaker 1: Stefan Dicks, notably quoting that she was pregnant six months

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Speaker 1: after knowing him yeah. The current updates that two other

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Speaker 1: women just had children by him, and there's an alleged

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Speaker 1: third one still currently pregnant, which means Carti was pregnant

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Speaker 1: at the same time as two other women and another

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Speaker 1: woman gave birth to his child back in December. The

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Speaker 1: third tidbit of all of this is that she is

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Speaker 1: still currently legally married to her husband Offset and they're

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Speaker 1: actively going through a divorce. That is a lot. That

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Speaker 1: is a lot. Now, I want to start with my

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Speaker 1: quick thoughts on this and then Carla, I would love

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Speaker 1: for us to exchange a dialogue. Now, I love me

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Speaker 1: some Cardi B. Okay, I love me some Cardi B.

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00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 1: Cardi B has led with her personality. She is the

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Speaker 1: friend we all want. She is the woman that we

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00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: have been rooting for from the strip club to the stages,

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Speaker 1: from making you know, a couple hundred a night to

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Speaker 1: millions in a night. You feel me so. She is

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Speaker 1: someone that a lot of us see in ourselves, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of us like champion. Here is the problem

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00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,199
Speaker 1: in the ways that we champion her. We can be

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00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,479
Speaker 1: disappointed in her and I think that that's where Crystal

368
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,120
Speaker 1: from the Red meant to go with her disdain of

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00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: the decision to be currently pregnant ahead of her sophomore album,

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Speaker 1: ahead of an arenatur and in leaving a current relationship

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Speaker 1: now here is the absolute truth. The ways in which

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00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: we have opinions about Cardi being pregnant are the sames

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Speaker 1: in which we would have for our dear friends and baby.

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Speaker 1: Let's be very very clear, I would drag for filthy

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Speaker 1: any about homegirls who chose to get pregnant by a

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Speaker 1: nigga she ain't known for even a year. Kick the baby,

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Speaker 1: knowing that there are other women currently pregnant. Bitch, we

378
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 1: are not having project babies around here in our thirties. Baby, Like,

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Speaker 1: at a certain age you have to make better decisions.

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Speaker 1: But also you are currently going through a divorce in

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Speaker 1: which you are still not's in a healing space from

382
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 1: a marriage that was traumatic. And we know it's traumatic

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00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: because girlfriend, the last you done broke up with them,

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00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: get them, fought like you don't. The relationship was to engagement,

385
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: bro The relationship was tumultuous, and you got into it

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00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 1: in your twenties at the ascension of a career that

387
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: is now fucking beyond. If we have any opinion on you, Cardi.

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Speaker 1: B the opinion does not stem from you choosing to

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Speaker 1: be a mother. You are already a mother of three

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00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: beautiful children. I don't care if you choose to be

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Speaker 1: the mother of five more kids. The problem is the

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00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: decision in which you made, with all of the other factors.

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Speaker 1: And if any of my friends chose to have a

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Speaker 1: baby by a whole ass nigga while she was still divorced,

395
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: still healing from a breakup, bitch, we would look at

396
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: her like, bitch, what are you doing and why? So

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00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 1: here's it's Carla. What are your thoughts on the outrage

398
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: around the pregnancy and also just her overall decision. So

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Speaker 1: I want to.

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00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 2: Touch based on what you just mentioned, if you had

401
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 2: any friends, I think it'd be a little bit different

402
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: for me. I think we are able to have these

403
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 2: opinions on Cardi because we love her down like that

404
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: is of the like you said, the friend that we

405
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 2: all wish we had.

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00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so bad. I'm like, party, can I DM you?

407
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 1: Can we hang out?

408
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 4: Like?

409
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 1: I love you, I love how I love truly how

410
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 1: you show up.

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00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 2: But that is not my friend. That is a celebrity.

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00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 2: That is someone I don't know that is someone I

413
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 2: don't spend time with. So if a friend of mine

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00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 2: that I love and care about was in Carti's position,

415
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 2: I think that the best thing that I could do

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00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: as a good friend is to not judge them and

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Speaker 2: be there.

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00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,959
Speaker 1: Ah, bitch, I'm judging. I think you are my friend.

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00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be there for you.

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00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 2: Well, I have an opinion myself, and I'm like, damn,

421
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 2: this doesn't seem like the best idea.

422
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 1: But at the same time, that is her choice.

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00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 2: And now, when you have your baby shower, and when

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00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 2: you have the baby's birthday, and where you need help

425
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 2: or something.

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00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be there. Be there. Okay, I'm gonna be there. Bro,

427
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: I'm judging you, and I'm telling you you a stupid

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00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,360
Speaker 1: ass whole. I don't give a fuck, bro, Like, I'll

429
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: be there, get the friendship, I will be I will

430
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: be at the baby. I will be at the baby shower.

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00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: Let's be very clear, we think.

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00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: Someone is gonna harder the baby after you don't call

433
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 2: them stupid and all kinds of stuff.

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00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: Carlo, did you want so I shouldn't have came to

435
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: your baby shower. You didn't call me stupid?

436
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 2: Oh?

437
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 1: Maybe not to your face. That's to your face, oh bit.

438
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 1: But I definitely told you. I told you when you

439
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 1: got with him that I didn't think he was and

440
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 1: I often shared that he's but if you can share

441
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: that he wasn't a good.

442
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: Partner, yeah that you You definitely did well. You said that,

443
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 2: But then we saw us side of him and we

444
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 2: were like, maybe I don't know. He's showing up in

445
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: a certain way there. It was taking me well, keeping

446
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: me in because it is friendship. It's like, at the

447
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: end of the day, as we grow, we have to know.

448
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: And this is me talking to myself as well. We

449
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,719
Speaker 2: can't just sit here and judge people. And I am

450
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 2: a very judging person that I know that I have

451
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: tons of opinions, but I wouldn't I don't know CARDI.

452
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 2: So now going back to her keeping this child. I

453
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 2: told you in the beginning that a lot of my

454
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 2: views about parenting come from the trauma that I'm going now,

455
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 2: not trauma the ships that I've been through, it's a

456
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 2: lot of it, but the hardships that I've gone through

457
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 2: that I have to see my children go through because

458
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: of the men that I chose to be their fathers.

459
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 2: Now there it took two to tango. We both laid down,

460
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: we both made this baby, we both had the responsibility.

461
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 2: But sometimes I do guilt trip myself and I want

462
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 2: those women that out there listening because I'm literally currently

463
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: dealing with this, the intense guilt that I feel to

464
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: have given my children fathers that may not be as present,

465
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 2: that aren't that Just so many things think have gone wrong,

466
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 2: our have gone wrong in my eyes, that I wish

467
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 2: I could do better.

468
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: But that's just life. We all are going to go

469
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: through it. I can't stop it. Now.

470
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 2: You look at someone who you love and adoring you

471
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 2: to the trajector of their life, and I do wish

472
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 2: that card you would have maybe said, you know what,

473
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: it ain't the time. And I'm not anti abortion, but

474
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 2: sometimes I do realize that shit happens now, she's happening

475
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: every other every six months. Then we need to go

476
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: figure out what the hell's going on there. And that's

477
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 2: where I come with when it comes to abortion, it's like,

478
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 2: all right, let's not use this as breast control. That

479
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 2: takes a lot on your body, That takes a lot,

480
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 2: you know, It's just so much that can happen to

481
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 2: you mentally, physically through an abortion, but also a lot

482
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 2: can happen when you do go through with a pregnancy

483
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 2: that just wasn't planned, that maybe it's not the best.

484
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 2: You're in a marriage, you got all these other kids,

485
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: and money is not everything. Yes, sometimes it seems like

486
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 2: money will buy things and it can afford freedom.

487
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: I think for the people who are like, oh my god,

488
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 1: she's so rich, she can afford all these kids, it's

489
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: funny because the idea that now a woman can make

490
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: these decisions solely because she can actually afford them is

491
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: also where that doesn't remove the again, I guess trauma

492
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: that you would be placing on you your child. And

493
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 1: so it's to me the money being the factor as

494
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: to why people are like Cardiacake can do whatever she wants. Like, Bro,

495
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: I could have a rich ass friend if she got

496
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: pregnant under these same circumstances. I heard Carla, bitch, I'm judging.

497
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: I ain't got so I could judge you. I'm a

498
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 1: human being. We judge people, bro like we judge them,

499
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: and I'm bro I'm judging my friend. I'm judging my friend.

500
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: I'm telling her she shouldn't have it. I'm sending bitch,

501
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: I done did this before I done sent my homegirl

502
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: flowers that said, realize, bitch, give a about a nigga,

503
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: And those were flowers to encourage an abortion when I

504
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: didn't think that a baby made sense. But then there's

505
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: like other instances where Okay, I understand the choice that

506
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 1: you made to have a child, especially if it's your first.

507
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: There's all these things, right, but I just it's weird

508
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: because again back to our stay right there, stay right

509
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: there with the money part. Let's stay right there with

510
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 1: the money part, okay, because I don't know who's sadness.

511
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 2: If it was podcast or radio, I don't know what

512
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 2: I was listening to where they were like, let's look

513
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 2: at Donald Trump's children. Let's look at this rich elite

514
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 2: folks that end up their kids drugs, murder, trafficking, and.

515
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: It's like I gave them everything. Yeah, you gave them nannies.

516
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: There's a nurturing part so that we have to be

517
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: I don't know anyone who.

518
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 1: It's weird because you even saying that though a parent

519
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 1: can be whether I mean, it's not even money, it's

520
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 1: not even all those things, because just because you are

521
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: raised in a loving, two parent household also doesn't indicate

522
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: that you're not going to be a drug using, sex

523
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: trafficking murderer, like like all the things. No, But so

524
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying, Like that's why we can't judge.

525
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 2: And now I'm starting to learn, like you know what,

526
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: sometimes things aren't ideal.

527
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 1: And yes, as much as we look at the big

528
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: picture and think that we can like place these pieces

529
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: here and there, for Cardi, we don't know what the

530
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: future of this baby is or what this baby is

531
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: gonna bring as a Cardi I truly for sure think

532
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: my friend Cardi bet galis right now is going through it.

533
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 2: She's in the midst of smoke, with this heartache from

534
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: off set, this new love that feels so refreshing. But

535
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 2: when I tell you, when you've been through heartbreaker, when

536
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: you're lonely and you're looking for this specific type of love,

537
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 2: it show.

538
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: Girl, anybody with a nice smile and some good dick

539
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: was gonna be what she was gonna love your garbage,

540
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: love on you, asking what you want to eat? You're like,

541
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: this is it? Especially when you're coming out of it,

542
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: there's still so much pain.

543
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 2: The dust is gonna settle, the smoke is gonna go away,

544
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 2: and she's gonna open her eyes and be like, okay,

545
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: and now I got four kids, and hopefully with growth

546
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: should be like, all right, I got my kids. I'm

547
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 2: gonna get them their time taking take some more time.

548
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: She's gonna go on tour. I do not love the

549
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 2: fact that she's going on tour.

550
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 1: But again, it's her body, her jewelries, her life. But

551
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: it's like, maybe give the time, sit down.

552
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: I know you may have a sea section or have

553
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: a baby regular and get your nip and tucking all

554
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: this stuff your body.

555
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: Let it rest.

556
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah a literally your intestines reached shaped and removed in

557
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: your horn.

558
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: Just take a break. But if that's not what she

559
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: wants to do.

560
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: I did not like the fact that she equated being

561
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: able to get and go and work and do the

562
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: things to bear being strong. I think it's much stronger

563
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 2: of a woman to have to sit down for a

564
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 2: year and let everybody else continue to make their money

565
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: and their businesses and move forward and you're just But

566
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: that's the thing.

567
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, that's not the reality of a lot of women now.

568
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: Like the women are the breadwinners, Like she can't just

569
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: do that, Like and a lot of women who get

570
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: pregnant right now can't just afford.

571
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: She's in a place where when she mentioned her mother

572
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 2: and her grandmother working so hard to get her what

573
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: she has, and it's like, yeah, I would say honor

574
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 2: them and showing them, look how hard your work got

575
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 2: me to be able to sit back and take care

576
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: of my babies the way you wish.

577
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: You to look at her. Her job doesn't allow for that.

578
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: She took seven year that way.

579
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: I think she took seven years off quite mind you,

580
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: seven years of hell with that.

581
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: Moment one moment you're not listening. I'm talking. There was

582
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: seven years between album one and album two. I'm talking,

583
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: I am talking. I am talking about her job. Yes,

584
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: she did features in between, she did all this, but

585
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: what she has just had to do. Mind you, Wave

586
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: is less than a year old. So you have a

587
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: baby under one, or maybe just one, maybe just now one.

588
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: So you have a baby that is one years old,

589
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: and you're about to give birth to a baby again,

590
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: and so and so, even the idea that two of

591
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: your children aren't going to have the experience of the

592
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: first two kids where you could kind of stay home

593
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: a lot more often, where there was a father in

594
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: the household. These two babies aren't going to have that.

595
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: And yes, Carling, it could be little ones.

596
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: These two new little ones may have a better experience

597
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: and a better mom than the first two had it.

598
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 2: I say that because when I was listen to her

599
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 2: for Sure interview, she was saying, I was so distraught

600
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: mentally going through it with this man. She's like, I thought,

601
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, I'm gona lay down in my depression

602
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 2: for two months. She's like, when I looked up, it

603
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,239
Speaker 2: had been seven years. I don't think she wanted to

604
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 2: wait seven years to put out an album.

605
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean.

606
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 2: You also know, when you're in that tumultuous relationship, there's

607
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,239
Speaker 2: not much you can fucking focus on.

608
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,239
Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't know that because I was in

609
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: a three year tumultuous relationship. And maybe I worked. Okay,

610
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 1: I worked too. I never stopped working. I was working.

611
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: I was working money. But when I tell you, it

612
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 2: was not fulfilling. I wasn't able to be there and

613
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: give my kids everything.

614
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: It wasn't me. I was sad. I worked.

615
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 2: Everyone saw me on cameras, like everyone saw Cardi doing features,

616
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 2: But when she was home she was crying, she cann't eat.

617
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: She was calling Shakira. She's like, Shakira, help me, how

618
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: do I get through this? You know it's hard. So

619
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 2: hopefully these next two kids get a more healed version

620
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 2: eventually of Cardi when she comes up. But what we

621
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 2: want for her is not it's not the reality of it.

622
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 2: And we can just hope again.

623
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 1: I love that word. We can just hope that she

624
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: heals more, that Offset gets his shit together and stop

625
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: asking for money. And she's hard to heal when hard

626
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: to heal when you get up under someone else. And

627
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: she literally said that on her when she sat down

628
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: with Alice on call her daddy. She literally talked about

629
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: how healing for her looked like leaving one man and

630
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: getting up under another one.

631
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 2: And it was just like, that's her journey right now,

632
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: that's her journey right now. She'll get that she's only

633
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: thirty two. But she's only thirty two, a little older

634
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 2: than I than most, but she's thirty two, and now

635
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 2: it's I get closer to forty. I realized, Okay, sometimes

636
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: I'm my anxiety gets me to like feel I don't

637
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 2: have enough time, and that's where it comes from. Where

638
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 2: I'm really hard on my daughter, I'm really hard on

639
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 2: my friends, or I'm really hard on my clients. Like,

640
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 2: we don't have time to be fucking around. We don't

641
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: have time to make mistakes. But you know what we

642
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: do as part of our journey. Make that mistake if

643
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 2: it gets you there. But I've been living in a

644
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 2: for the past I would say maybe a year where

645
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna contact. I don't have enough time. I don't

646
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 2: have enough time. I can't go outside, I can't get

647
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 2: hurt what happens. Girl, Calm the fuck down. It'll be fine.

648
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: If you're gonna have that baby, have that baby. If

649
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 2: you're gonna have that abortion, have that abortion. Not too

650
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: many now, slow down on the abortions, ladies. But if

651
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: you're gonna have it, make the right decision for you.

652
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 2: And I really do got to shut the fuck up

653
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: and speak on my own experience, and I just it

654
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 2: hurts me to see my children hurt. It hurts me

655
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 2: to see other children hurt because we could have made

656
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 2: just a split second decision that I have a conversation

657
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 2: first with this person and say, hey, do.

658
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: You even want children? How many children do you really

659
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 1: have out there? Hey? Do you mind getting your pasectomy? Hey,

660
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: do you also feel like what you're saying, what's your thing?

661
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: Sounds good? But at the same time, I also and

662
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: it goes off of what we talked about Tuesday. I

663
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: don't think that there is anything wrong with having an

664
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: opinion or judging somebody on the decisions they make. There's

665
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 1: people that do it every day for me, and I

666
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: feel like I can have an opinion on I want

667
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: better for someone else, or why I would have made

668
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: a different decision, or why I feel like their decision

669
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: was wrong. Like, I also don't think that there's somebody's

670
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: shoes we can't really give that opinion. It reminds me

671
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: of I mean, I've gotten an abortion, but no, but

672
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: that's the thing, even if we were in the same

673
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: shoes again, I've had an abortion my nigga that I

674
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 1: didn't need a baby with because I didn't know him.

675
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: So I can have an opinion on I can have

676
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 1: an opinion about a woman choosing to have a baby

677
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: with someone she's literally admitted to knowing for six months.

678
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 2: Okay, so ru I know of someone who hadn't met

679
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 2: someone and within three months they got pregnant.

680
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: They're now on their second I know Sowe right now.

681
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: I know Sowe right now got pregnant within three months

682
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: of heaving. I know two Pins right now got pregnant

683
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: within three months. He's so loving.

684
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 2: It's not been like ten years and it just worked

685
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: out for them, right. So, and that's what I'm trying

686
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 2: to remind. I'm trying to I get where you're coming from.

687
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 2: I'm your opinion as judgy ass friend, yes, and I'm

688
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 2: trying to grow into the space of just don't know.

689
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 2: It sounds bad most likely can go statistics show, but

690
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 2: there's also people that it works for. So hey, what

691
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: can I do as your friend to support you versus

692
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 2: tear you down over a.

693
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: Final destination that I don't know where it's gonna land. Yes,

694
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 1: does it seem like Cardi is good?

695
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 2: Does it seem like things are stacked up against her

696
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 2: with him having all these new baby mamas and he

697
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 2: may not be the best person to go with, but

698
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: we don't know. Maybe Stefan Diggs at this point is like,

699
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do right by this woman, and he maybe

700
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: take care of all his children.

701
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: It'll be a big Brady bunch. We don't fucking know.

702
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: So we can't as a friend to her if we

703
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 2: were friends to her or someone like Cardi in her life,

704
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 2: be like, girl, you're so fucking stupid.

705
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: Da da da da.

706
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: It's just like, you know, what is it the sison

707
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: you're going with? I would say, let's look at the

708
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 2: whole picture. But if this is what you want to

709
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: go with, how can I support you?

710
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: Yo?

711
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 2: This is dumb as fuck. I can't stand behind this.

712
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 2: I don't like it at all. I can no longer

713
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 2: be friends with you. And that's also a choice that

714
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 2: you can make.

715
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: No, So that's so I think that that's Those are

716
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: two dramatic things. There's a lot of things about my

717
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,479
Speaker 1: friends that I don't agree with their decisions in life,

718
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: with their opinions on things, and I still can remain

719
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: a friend. I think that it's okay for me to say.

720
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: I think, say I don't like the way you're judging

721
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: me and you're talking to me and you're putting like

722
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 2: that negative.

723
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: Oh, then then that's up to them. Yeah, oh, and

724
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. So I'm fine with people making

725
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: the decisions that they want around me. Like it's interesting

726
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: because to me, if someone decides that they don't want

727
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,439
Speaker 1: to be my friend because of my opinion on them

728
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: or something because we disagree. Okay, I don't think it

729
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: would be disagreement.

730
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 2: I think if someone feels attacked or it feels like

731
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 2: they're not it's like, hey, you no, And.

732
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 1: I think for I will express my opinions, I think

733
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: it's stupid. And then what I'll do is I no

734
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 1: longer want to have this conversation with you. Like if

735
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: you gonna say what a nigga that lays his hands

736
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 1: on you? Don't bring your nigga up to me. If

737
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 1: you don't say what a nigga who does this? I

738
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 1: like the same way. I know I don't care about

739
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: my friend's opinions on people that I choose to date.

740
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: I won't share that stuff with my friends because I

741
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: don't care about their opinions. But if I express my

742
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: disdain for something and you're upset that I expressed my

743
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: disagreement or disdain for your decision making, and you now

744
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,879
Speaker 1: don't want to be friends with me because I am

745
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: not going to support those decisions you made. Okay, I've

746
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: I've ended a friendship with a really good friend of

747
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: mine for multiple reasons, but a lot of it was

748
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: as well. She got with a partner and her whole

749
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 1: views on things started to shift and change, and I

750
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 1: can no longer agree with how she was showing up

751
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: in that relationship because I felt like she was losing

752
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: herself and in an essence of me expressing those things. No,

753
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,919
Speaker 1: it wasn't. Oh, I never take authority over anyone's life. Again,

754
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: that's an extreme. I can express my disdain or dislike

755
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: for your decision making you taking offense to that and

756
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 1: wanting yes men around you, or wanting people to support

757
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 1: your bad decisions. Like if I was friends with a

758
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: drug addict, someone like if Hunter was my best friend

759
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: and he expressed how much he loved crack cocaine and

760
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: how he could live without crack cocaine. Bro, if I

761
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,439
Speaker 1: had a friend talk about how much they loved crack

762
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: cocaine and they wanted to express to me how they

763
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 1: loved it, and I was like, Bro, that makes you

764
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 1: a crackhead. I think you sup with as fuck. Here's

765
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: the consequences that can happen with you using this. This

766
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: is what is doing to your body. And he didn't

767
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: want me to express those things, and now didn't want

768
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: to be my friend because I disagreed with his life

769
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: decisions because he didn't want to give up crack cocaine.

770
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,359
Speaker 1: Then that's no longer a friendship, though, because that does

771
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: affect your life. How do these men having a baby?

772
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 1: Would a nigga affects your life? In another human's life,

773
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: You choosing to be with a nigga who is not

774
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: good for you or causing you harm does impact your life. Bro.

775
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: A bad relationship and bad decisions affect your life the

776
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: same way drugs can impact your life. I've been in

777
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: an not physically abusive, not sexually abusive relationship, but an

778
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,240
Speaker 1: emotional and psychological one, and it definitely had an impact

779
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: on my body and my health. So, Bro, it's the

780
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 1: same fucking thing. So if I want to critique your

781
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: decisions because I want better for you and you don't

782
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: want better for yourself, in the moment, I am so

783
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: fine with you choosing to walk away from a friendship.

784
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: I will never walk away from my friends for their

785
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: decision making, even when I disagree. If you don't want

786
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: me to call you a stuper bitch, I won't. But

787
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 1: then we don't need to talk about where I disagree

788
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 1: with you. Okay, But if you feel bad that I

789
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: called you a stupid bitch, and now you don't want

790
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 1: to be friends with me because you know that I

791
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: internally and externally have told you that I am disappointed, disagree,

792
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: and think that you should be making other choices. And

793
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 1: now because I've done held the mirror up to you,

794
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 1: you no longer want to be my friend. I am

795
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 1: so here for mirror up to them. No, I'm holding

796
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: my No. But what I'm saying, it's not it's a mirror.

797
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 1: Your decision is stupid. The masses would think your decision

798
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: is goddamn stupid. You don't see it now, You're gonna

799
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: see it later. If I feel like your decision is

800
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,399
Speaker 1: goddamn dumb for X y Z results, there's nothing not

801
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 1: stupid about keeping a baby with a nigga you've known

802
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: for six months. The masses would say that is done.

803
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: That a good result off of that. I do not

804
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 1: mind mind you, mind you No, I'm saying, so cool

805
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,240
Speaker 1: you can the masses that is not the case. Every

806
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 1: single friend of mine with a child, outside of my

807
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: one friend who is married, every single friend with children

808
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,280
Speaker 1: are single parents. Period.

809
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 2: And that's and that's where so I remember when I

810
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: was saying where I come off very judges sometimes about abortions,

811
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 2: about speaking up, and I can come off very like, oh,

812
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: I'm telling people what to do. I think that's where

813
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 2: yours also comes from. And it's like I see this

814
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 2: all around me. My experience is that when this happens,

815
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 2: this follows, and that's when we sometimes I have to

816
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: take a step back. Where I'm taking a step back

817
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 2: and I'm saying, just because all I've ever seen is

818
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,959
Speaker 2: when this happens, then this follows. These children are having

819
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 2: this hard time, and this is happening, I have to

820
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 2: take a step back and be like, Okay, just because

821
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 2: that's what I've seen doesn't mean that's what may happen

822
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: to them, So hey, what do you need from me?

823
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 1: And then keep my opinion. There are there are people

824
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: or there's ways to also say, you know, Carla, there

825
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: are people who have literally gotten away with murder. What

826
00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 1: I sit here and not judge any of my friends

827
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: who murder someone and say, well, I know what the

828
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: common outcome of this is, but there are people that

829
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: have gotten away with murders. So I'm not gonna have

830
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 1: a judgment on this. Literally is the same thing you're

831
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 1: saying you have one example, and there are examples of

832
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: people getting away with murder, with rape, with pedophilia, with assault,

833
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: with all these things. Yes, there are instances where people

834
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: have got one moment. Let me finish, there are people

835
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: who have gotten away with these things. Does that mean

836
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: if my friend does the same exact thing knowing that,

837
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: oh my god, in history it has ended up positively

838
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 1: for the person that I'm not gonna say this is

839
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: a dumb ass, goddamn decision to make, no when majority

840
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: of the time the result is the same. The result

841
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 1: is prison. The result is a consequence that leads you

842
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: to go to jail. The result is the fact that

843
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 1: this person will probably leave. Or you don't know this

844
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: person yet, you're bringing a child into the like, you

845
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 1: don't know his upbring, you don't know his genetic makeup,

846
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: you don't know really his finances and whole because you

847
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 1: just met the nigga three months ago. All of these things. Again,

848
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: my opinions aren't rooted just from fucking thin air. Bro.

849
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 1: There's little statistics that I think this shit you went

850
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: way left with murder. But I'm gonna give you a

851
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: really quick example. I don't think so.

852
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 2: I have a friend that, without giving too much information,

853
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 2: she has a job and then she's like, you know,

854
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: I need more money, so I'm gonna get this other job.

855
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: The second job that she saved to me and tell.

856
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: Me she was getting requires her to be awake and working,

857
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: and she's a mom for like thirty six hours.

858
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: Okay, go to.

859
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 2: Work, and then you don't finish working for like another

860
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 2: thirty six hours when you can lay down, driving, doing

861
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 2: all these things. And I was like, every week, this

862
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: is happening when you get this job. So she's like,

863
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 2: I got this job, and I was I'm against it.

864
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's not okay. You know you're driving, sleep deprived,

865
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 2: your body that told all this takes. I'm like, I

866
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 2: don't think you should do this. And she's like, why

867
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 2: told you just to kind of like like.

868
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,320
Speaker 1: Talk about it. I didn't call you to like condemn

869
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 1: me on it.

870
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 2: And my response to it was like, look, we know

871
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 2: scientifically that if you don't sleep and you don't rest,

872
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 2: things go downhill. So I just want you to be careful,

873
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 2: go ahead and do the job. And as your friend,

874
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, please watch your health and how it's

875
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 2: moving and how it feels and try to find something else.

876
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,359
Speaker 2: Really what I wanted to say, and she probably listens

877
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 2: to I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

878
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 2: Don't you fucking know that's a dumb ass idea. But

879
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: she has different circumstances than I do. She has different

880
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,240
Speaker 2: Her life is different, what she has to do is different,

881
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 2: her responsibilities are different, everything is different, her journey is different.

882
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: So if I would have came.

883
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 2: Out with what when my brain was thinking at the time,

884
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 2: which is usually pretty fucking judging, you like, that's so

885
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 2: fucking stupid. What do you mean, get a different job,

886
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 2: go somewhere else. But this is what's in front of

887
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 2: her right now, and what she chose. Hey, just be

888
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 2: careful with the time. There is a way that I

889
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 2: could have talked to her where it could have off

890
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 2: for her. She would have been like, you know what,

891
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 2: I don't want to be friends with you because I

892
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 2: don't like the way you're talking to me. And I

893
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 2: would have understood it, but I've also would have felt

894
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:07,879
Speaker 2: shitty because who am I to tell her?

895
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: Don't fucking do well? I mean right now? Well in

896
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 1: this economy, well, I mean.

897
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: Health issues, and I know that this can cost this

898
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 2: little death, literal death.

899
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 1: I get that. I wouldn't blame her. I would blame

900
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 1: shout out to antidet. That's capitalism. I don't think I've

901
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,800
Speaker 1: been what people choose to do for work and money

902
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: because I've had to don their health. Oh bitch, I've

903
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: fucked for money, and that's at by house. Like I

904
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: I in this economy, I'm not gonna lie with where

905
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: jobs are hard to get. Like my mom calls me

906
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,280
Speaker 1: every time we talk on the phone. She complains about

907
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 1: this job that she's had for the last I don't know,

908
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: ten fifteen years now, she talks about leaving. It's difficult.

909
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: I just tell her, girl, you're not gonna leave, but okay,

910
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: go ahead and like to me, the job market and

911
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: how so one makes a living is something that I

912
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 1: actually don't actually ever condemn or have anything to say

913
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,720
Speaker 1: about people, whether you choose to be a sex worker,

914
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 1: a stripper, a podcaster, working nine to five, work in corporate,

915
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,280
Speaker 1: go to school to be something. I'm here for people

916
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: making a living, however they have to make a living.

917
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: You're like, I've had to fuck for money, you like,

918
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: but it's not only But I just want to say,

919
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: I mean it's any but it's anyone to me bringing

920
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: in a light like all the thing that we're talking

921
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: about is the decision in terms of relationships, being with

922
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 1: them and having a baby. That's what the premise of

923
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 1: this episode is. And in terms of expressing your thoughts

924
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,359
Speaker 1: on that thing, I'm going to say what I want

925
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: to say how I want to say it, and if

926
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:43,879
Speaker 1: you don't like it, you don't have to be my friend.

927
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 1: But I don't think it's wrong to sit here and

928
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: judge anyone. I think it's why we are judging God

929
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: damn Cardi because we wanted her to do better. And

930
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,760
Speaker 1: it's why I'm a judge my motherfucking friends, because bitch,

931
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: I want better for you. Yeah.

932
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 2: And I think sometimes when just for those listening, not you,

933
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 2: you don't want it, but those listening think about the

934
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 2: fact that when it's a friend and it is someone

935
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: that you love, there's a way that within love you

936
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,720
Speaker 2: can get through better than through judgment.

937
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: And again it's just coming from the judges.

938
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 2: People think I'm the judgest person in the world, and

939
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: I am at times coming from the space of I

940
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: want better for you, yes, But sometimes when you want

941
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 2: better and you say it in a way that is

942
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: judgmental or bringing them down. It just doesn't it doesn't

943
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 2: help the situation.

944
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm gonna do. I think I'm gonna

945
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 1: start a segment on Fridays. What so this just came

946
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: to mind. Sorry, I have to get in my computer.

947
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: But y'all know, y'all know I love my husband. So

948
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do is depending on how these conversations go.

949
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:57,280
Speaker 1: Because he helps us so much. I'm gonna lean into

950
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 1: chat GPT to find the nice way, the least quote

951
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: unquote judgmental way to tell somebody what you want to say.

952
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 1: But it sounds harsh, So I'm gonna ask for this

953
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 1: time chat GPT. Here's what I here's the prompt. Please

954
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 1: tell me how to say in a nice, less judge

955
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:31,280
Speaker 1: way that my friend is a stupid bitch for choosing

956
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:36,320
Speaker 1: to keep a child with a man she has known

957
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: for less than one year, and that even though her

958
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 1: decision making was the worst possible decision, I feel that

959
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: she it isn't so much a stupid bitch because I

960
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: love her. Because that's exactly what This is what they'll

961
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: tell you. This is this is what the fuck? Okay,

962
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: mind you it says. It sounds like you care about

963
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: your friend and want to share your worries without hurting her.

964
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: Here are a few ways to phrase it more gently

965
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: and with love. So here we go. There are three here. Okay.

966
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: I really care about you and want the best for you.

967
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 1: I have some concerns about how quickly things are moving,

968
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 1: and I hope we can talk about it because your

969
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: happiness and safety mean a lot to me. Okay, Number two,

970
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: you can use I statements. I feel worried because this

971
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: is such a big step and it's happening fast. I

972
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 1: just want to make sure you have the support and

973
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: information you need now. This one is emphasizing support and

974
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: not judgment. I'm here for you no matter what. And see,

975
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: that's another thing that's a lie, because no matter what

976
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: is tricky, I'm not here for you no matter what. Uh,

977
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: especially if that nigga come and step into shit. But whatever,

978
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 1: I'm here for you no matter what. I might not

979
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: fully understand the decision you made, but I respect that

980
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: it's yours and I'll support you through it. All Right,

981
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 1: those are ways to say you stupid ass bitch.

982
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 2: I got one here, I says, honestly, when you told

983
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 2: me your decision. I was worried because of my perspective.

984
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 2: It feels like such a huge step to take with

985
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 2: someone you've only known for a short time. I don't

986
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 2: always agree with your choices, but that doesn't change how

987
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 2: much I love you or how much I'll support you.

988
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 2: You're not stupid to me. You're my friend. I'll be

989
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 2: here no matter what, Which is what that was says

990
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 2: on there.

991
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 1: But see, I don't like lying, don't I don't like lying,

992
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 1: and I do believe people be sup. That's not lying.

993
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 1: That's having kuth. That's having empathy.

994
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,800
Speaker 2: Not making sure, yes, that's making sure that your respond

995
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 2: I heard one time I don't remember where came from.

996
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 2: It was if you're walking around with a sword, right,

997
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,839
Speaker 2: you know, a sword a thing that so you're walking

998
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: around it without the case, and you're running around and

999
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 2: cutting people, and you're basically saying, well, y'all, nigga saw me.

1000
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: Running around with the sword.

1001
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: You were gonna get cut, move out the way, versus

1002
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: you're saying, you know what, let me go ahead and

1003
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 2: put my sword and the thing in majiggi that it

1004
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 2: goes in.

1005
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 1: So when I'm walking and I rub into you or.

1006
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 2: I bump into you in this in this crazy space,

1007
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 2: I won't cut you so get I think you're covering

1008
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 2: to make sure that the sword is still there, your

1009
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,320
Speaker 2: thoughts are still there, but you don't want to cut.

1010
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: Well. I believe in words meaning things, and the two

1011
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 1: words that I dislike about people is when they show

1012
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 1: up disingenuine and when they are performative. And so there's

1013
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:51,799
Speaker 1: disingenuine there one moment. I think it's disingenuine too. If

1014
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: you say that someone, oh my god, you are so beautiful.

1015
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 1: If you tell somebody that and in your mind you

1016
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: think that they're ugly as fuck, you're performative and disingenuine.

1017
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 1: If I think that you was stupid bitch and the

1018
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: decision you made is stupid as fuck, I'm not gonna

1019
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: tell you I don't think the decision is stupid as fuck,

1020
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 1: because now I'm lying, I'm being disingenuine and I'm being performative. Okay.

1021
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,479
Speaker 2: Have you ever said if you have nothing nice to say,

1022
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 2: not to say it at all? So I think it's

1023
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 2: more going in there. If you don't think someone is

1024
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 2: beautiful and they're ugly, then don't tell them beautiful.

1025
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,439
Speaker 1: That's a point. So then okay, I guess you're telling

1026
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 1: me this.

1027
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 2: You know what, you want to give them a compliment,

1028
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,959
Speaker 2: maybe that day their hair looks really good.

1029
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 1: Wow, your curls look really good today. Your blonde looks

1030
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: really good.

1031
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 2: To if I thought you, if I thought you were

1032
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 2: the ugliest thing in the world, why I am I

1033
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 2: gonna sit here and tell you, Oh my god, you're

1034
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: so beautiful today. No, there's a reason, there's might, there's

1035
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 2: something I want, or just shut the fuck up and

1036
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 2: not say anything.

1037
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 1: So then I mean and again, that's where I actually

1038
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 1: end up with my friends at the end of the day.

1039
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: If I think your decision making is poor and stupid,

1040
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 1: I will actually say I value our friendship. I don't

1041
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: want to be brought into the decision making that you're

1042
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: not say anything at all. Oh that's a choice too.

1043
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 2: You can absolutely just say nothing at all, because what

1044
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 2: you're doing is you're cutting. You're choosing to cut and

1045
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 2: then say and but here's a band aid. I'm not

1046
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 2: gonna come around you with my sword. No more.

1047
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: Cut.

1048
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 2: I'm not coming to cut you no more. But here's

1049
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 2: the cut. You don't have to cut them in the

1050
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 2: beginning at all. If you truly feel that way, you

1051
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 2: don't have a nicer way to say it. Don't say

1052
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 2: anything at all. If they come to you and they're like,

1053
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 2: I want your advice on this, that's when you go,

1054
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 2: you know what, honestly you know, and then and then

1055
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 2: talk to about Oh no, no, no, well I do that now,

1056
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 2: That's what I do now.

1057
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 1: And I tell all my friends that you don't cut first.

1058
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, I I well, it depends how far

1059
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: if I already know, we've gotten there. After a certain

1060
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 1: amount of time of repeating my thoughts on something, I

1061
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: will I will gladly about out of ever having those

1062
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: conversations with someone that I don't feel like realistically will

1063
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 1: take my advice and realistically doesn't want to hear my

1064
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: though on it. And if my thoughts are not aligned

1065
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 1: with your behavior or your thoughts on yourself, there's no

1066
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:10,439
Speaker 1: conversation to be had now with your friends. So you're

1067
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: everything won't be aligned, So you shouldn't say it's aligned

1068
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 1: or it's nothing. No, but that's where you carly, You're

1069
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 1: you are literally speaking out of both sides of your mouth.

1070
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: You said, if you don't have nothing nice, if you

1071
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 1: don't have we're there, Well, that's already happen. Okay, now,

1072
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 1: but now you're playing semantics. It's either if you don't

1073
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,920
Speaker 1: have nothing nice, don't say it at all, or don't

1074
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, Like we're speaking on

1075
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: those sides. I'm saying, but I'm saying moving forward. For

1076
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 1: you. You brought the example of like I've already been there,

1077
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 1: like I've already said it.

1078
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 2: Like now I don't want to say anything at all.

1079
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 2: I'm saying moving forward. Maybe for you or for someone

1080
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: who's listening. Right, someone who's listening is like when something

1081
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 2: new comes up, it's like.

1082
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: Oh, what can I say? Do I have something nice

1083
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: to say?

1084
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,919
Speaker 2: No, if they come to you and try to ask

1085
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 2: you for advice about something that you know that, you're like,

1086
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: that's some stupid shit. That's when you're like, Okay, let

1087
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: me think about it before I cut and say. You

1088
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 2: know what, on say, I may not be the best

1089
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 2: person to talk to about this because I have my

1090
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 2: own personal feelings that I don't think it's I'm gonna

1091
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 2: give you my perspective that's gonna it's its just it

1092
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 2: won't be conducive to the decision you're trying to make

1093
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 2: maybe speak to someone who can talk to you.

1094
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it ain't gonna be conducive because your decision making success.

1095
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: But that part you don't say, all right, well that's

1096
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: don't well wow, this one all over the place.

1097
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,240
Speaker 2: So we're gonna go a thing and enjoy her music,

1098
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 2: and Cardia can do her thing.

1099
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: We can enjoy her music, and we could judge her

1100
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: ass for being pregnant by all sets because offset she's

1101
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 1: pregnant by on set, she doesn't deserve that. And I

1102
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,879
Speaker 1: think everyone can judge and have an opinion. Like Bro,

1103
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: everyone judges me, has an opinion on me. I would

1104
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 1: like the opportunity to judge as well.

1105
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: Well, that's part of entertainment. We're talking about Cardi, so

1106
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,359
Speaker 2: that this last set, of this last conversation was about

1107
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 2: our friends.

1108
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,880
Speaker 1: This is what we do. Will live their lives in

1109
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 1: a public platform.

1110
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 2: This is what we do, and we also try to

1111
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 2: make sure that we don't let that carry on to

1112
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,399
Speaker 2: our personal lives.

1113
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 1: Again, I'm gonna judge. I'm gonna judge you Os. I'ma

1114
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: judge you Os. I'm gonna judge you Owes, Lord have mercy.

1115
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 2: I recorded you on chat when you were talking about

1116
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 2: somebody being pretty, says if you don't believe someone is beautiful,

1117
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 2: saying you're beautiful, it's disingenuous. It's not kindness, it's performance exactly.

1118
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 2: But then it says, but kindness does not require lying.

1119
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 2: It just means you choose how an if to express

1120
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 2: my point.

1121
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. Necessary heard you, But that's

1122
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: why I don't like that disingenuine performance.

1123
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 2: Then you don't forget about the butt. It's like let them.

1124
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: Remember for mel Roberts, she was like, let them. You

1125
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 2: can't stop there, you gotta go.

1126
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 1: Let them.

1127
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 2: Then let me so then he goes. But choose kindness

1128
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 2: and don't choose words or truth that causes unnecessary that's

1129
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 2: the big unnecessary harm. There's no reason to harm certain

1130
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 2: people with your words. Girl.

1131
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: People sensitive, they be harmed all of that. Damn time. Evenanda,

1132
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 1: shu shut, We're out of here. That's it. This is it,

1133
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: This is this is it.

1134
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 2: I love your listeners. I think they're all gonna have

1135
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 2: real good conversations with their friends. They're gonna be like,

1136
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 2: Amanda is a rough one.

1137
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: They're not gonna Amanda. It's Mandy B. Thank you very much,

1138
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 1: Mandy Bee as a rough one out of there. Boys.

1139
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: She don't go but what she said, but she gonna

1140
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:21,439
Speaker 1: do better. She gonna do better.

1141
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:23,439
Speaker 2: We gonna do better because we get older in time

1142
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 2: and we realize that some things.

1143
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: Just aren't worth it. Okay, girl with your monolagus. All right, well,

1144
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 1: y'all we out of here. I'll hope y'all enjoyed this

1145
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: bonus episode of content. Thank you guys so much, And

1146
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 1: if you want to see the full video, head on

1147
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 1: over to Patreon this patreon dot com backslash Selective Ignorance

1148
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: and I'm really looking forward to keeping the conversation going

1149
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: over there. All right, guys, Bye bye, Carla Bye, I'll.

1150
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 2: See y'all, lady bye.

1151
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 1: Selective Ignorance a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.

1152
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,

1153
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

1154
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 4: Thanks for tuning in The Selective Ignorance of Mandy B.

1155
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 4: Selective Ignorance. It's executive produced to Buy Mandy B. And

1156
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 4: It's a full Court Media studio production with lead producers

1157
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 4: Jason Mondriguez. That's me and Aaron A. King Howard now,

1158
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 4: do us a favor and rate, Subscribe, comment and share

1159
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 4: wherever you get your favorite podcasts, and be sure to

1160
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:27,440
Speaker 4: follow Selective Ignorance on Instagram at Selective Underscore Ignorance. And

1161
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 4: of course, if you're not following our hosts Mandy B,

1162
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 4: make sure you're following her at Full Court Pumps Now.

1163
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 4: If you want the full video experience of Selective Ignorance,

1164
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 4: make sure you subscribe to the Patreon It's patreon dot

1165
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 4: com backslash Selective Ignorance