WEBVTT - Minisode: A One-Two Punch with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>with my friends, yah Yah and Sam. Okay, we're back

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<v Speaker 1>with Sam and yah Ya.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi girls, Hey, hi ladies. What's up?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>You know what?

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<v Speaker 1>Somebody was talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There

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<v Speaker 1>was some rumor that I was going to be on it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not true. But didn't you say that you auditioned

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<v Speaker 1>for that or they.

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<v Speaker 4>Did an audition They contacted me about it for Atlanta?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah they did, right, Yeah, that's what I told someone.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I didn't have to audition girls.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, guys, I didn't know you got a dog.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'm not allowed to get a dog because Sam

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<v Speaker 1>won't let you get a dog because we're not doing

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<v Speaker 1>the dog because you're not going to follow.

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<v Speaker 3>We're no, we're not talking about the dog. We just

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<v Speaker 3>we just were dollar today.

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<v Speaker 5>But I copy of that. But no, it's fine, we're

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<v Speaker 5>just not going to get the dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Yoh okay, great, that sounded like a good therapy session.

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<v Speaker 4>It went great.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that must be your other therapist, because yes, is

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<v Speaker 1>not this one is not as good.

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<v Speaker 2>So what are some of the things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you go First, that's annoy the shit out

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<v Speaker 1>of you about living with Sam.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh, where do I start cabinets? She doesn't close cabinets

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<v Speaker 5>or door like. She doesn't she opens a cabinet or

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<v Speaker 5>a drawer, she leaves it open. So like when I

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<v Speaker 5>go into the kitchen, I feel like, what's her name, Bana.

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<v Speaker 4>Whit who's the one that turns the bana white?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I feel like banda white because I'm constantly closing

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<v Speaker 5>all the cabinets and all.

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<v Speaker 4>The doors because she leaves including the refrigerator.

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<v Speaker 1>That's really that's kind of entitled Sam to open the

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<v Speaker 1>doors and leave them open.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not true. It's just not true.

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<v Speaker 6>But I'll also be doing stuff in and out the fridge.

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<v Speaker 6>You'll come in while I'm in the kitchen and close

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<v Speaker 6>the frigerator.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, but what about the can But I'm like using

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<v Speaker 3>the fridge.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm not, I'm not not, I'm not not in the

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<v Speaker 6>midst Okay, but what about the cabinet.

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<v Speaker 1>Fridge is Actually in her defense, I changed tact. They

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<v Speaker 1>should just be open all the time. The display should

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<v Speaker 1>be out so we don't have to fucking open them,

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<v Speaker 1>and look, it should.

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<v Speaker 2>Be see through.

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<v Speaker 4>But then I also be cold.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it should be a glad so you could just

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<v Speaker 1>see that's in there. Because sometimes I want to open

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<v Speaker 1>the fridge and just fucking sit there and look at

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<v Speaker 1>it too, Especially when I'm stoned. I circle around the

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<v Speaker 1>fridge like four or five times a day, waiting for

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<v Speaker 1>some meal to just create itself.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and then the cabinets.

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<v Speaker 6>Sometimes I forget the cabinets, but a lot of times

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<v Speaker 6>I'll still be in the middle of stuff and you

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<v Speaker 6>just come in and start.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, that's not true.

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<v Speaker 5>You'll be on the whole another floor and all the

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<v Speaker 5>cabinets will be open. I have Yeah, I have video proof.

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<v Speaker 2>Why do you have video because.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, because I don't know if we have a group

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<v Speaker 5>chat and so we all have the same plight.

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<v Speaker 6>So it was like, oh, well, Lona don't got no man.

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<v Speaker 6>So well she did see you're digging again.

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<v Speaker 5>She did have a man, and he did do stuff

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<v Speaker 5>like that, so talk about but she did. So we

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<v Speaker 5>were like my sister be like, oh her husband left

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<v Speaker 5>the cabinet opening day. I'm like, oh, well that's nothing.

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<v Speaker 5>I had three cabinets today. So it's like that.

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<v Speaker 1>So and that's you guys, and then you you film

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<v Speaker 1>it and send it to each other.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, or take a picture that seems reasonable. I guess

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<v Speaker 5>it's like our own little group chat, our funny. It's

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<v Speaker 5>our way of like dealing.

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<v Speaker 1>With complaining about your husband's basically, basically, but in a

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<v Speaker 1>nice way. Right, that's not the worst thing in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not like a man leaving a toilet seat up

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<v Speaker 1>and like you're in all over the floor, urine all

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<v Speaker 1>over the toilet seat.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I leave my car door open a lot when

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<v Speaker 2>I get home.

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<v Speaker 1>I get out because I always have shit or my

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<v Speaker 1>dog and I and then I'll see my driveway and

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<v Speaker 1>my car's wide.

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<v Speaker 2>Open, like the door.

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<v Speaker 4>Are you serious?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I I have a gated driveway.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>But they're doing a lot of Robbie out there now. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Well maybe I'm just taunting them.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, get it. Is that your way of trying to

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<v Speaker 4>find a man? Do you know that guy?

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<v Speaker 1>Remember you try the show? We were in my worka

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<v Speaker 1>and yeah, yeah, I was like, you know, who's cute

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<v Speaker 1>this guy gave? So I was dming him a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit in my Orca one summer. But he had a girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>Guess who doesn't have a girlfriend anymore?

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<v Speaker 3>By the way, didn't have a girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but those deals I know, but I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>the closer I see now that I see he's single,

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<v Speaker 1>I've taken a closer look, and there's a beard situation

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<v Speaker 1>on the face that looks slightly painted, almost like dyed ink,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like when he.

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<v Speaker 4>Has a beijing is? What is it called beijing? A

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<v Speaker 4>beijing has a beijing.

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<v Speaker 3>Saying I don't know. That's what she's saying.

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<v Speaker 5>Do you know what a beijing is?

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<v Speaker 4>That's like they use the dye and the dye is

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<v Speaker 4>called beijing.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that that looks like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I don't do white men use beijing is.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think for the white I don't think he's

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<v Speaker 4>white though he's other.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been getting a lot of sex, So don't worry.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm fine.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm happy for you.

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<v Speaker 4>I did see that picture of the feet on the back.

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<v Speaker 4>That was nice. I was happy for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh the one I sent you right, that was nice.

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<v Speaker 2>I post that.

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<v Speaker 4>I was excited for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, and Sam, let's talk about what you think is

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<v Speaker 1>the most the thing that annoys you the most about Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, she's constantly moving my things and putting them with

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<v Speaker 6>sheet things they go. But not where it is logical

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<v Speaker 6>for me, I'm cleaning. Yeah, but you clean like you're

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<v Speaker 6>the only person who lives in the house.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I just clean like a person who cleans.

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<v Speaker 6>No, because your stuff could be out. You could leave

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<v Speaker 6>stuff out all over the house. You leave food, how

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<v Speaker 6>you leave stuff in the office all the time, open

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<v Speaker 6>bowls or soop.

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<v Speaker 3>You'll leave anything.

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<v Speaker 6>And you will move my socks and leave three cans

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<v Speaker 6>of soda and a bunch of open food. So well,

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<v Speaker 6>you know a little you do dream ginger real, so

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<v Speaker 6>you count that ginger. You know, you'll have your three

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<v Speaker 6>cans out, the food you had last night, some rappers

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<v Speaker 6>from some candy you ate, and then you'll be like,

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<v Speaker 6>these socks, how is my thing like so annoying? But

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<v Speaker 6>you can have everything everywhere?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, I can't. I can't I help that.

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<v Speaker 3>So yeah, so then it's like, yeah, that's what I

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<v Speaker 3>don't like.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So that's those are two minor things. That's not

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<v Speaker 1>big deal obviously, you guys like that. That's not going

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<v Speaker 1>to be anything that breaks a company. No, no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>And I would also say that I would guess that

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<v Speaker 1>you have a very high sex drive yah ya, and

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<v Speaker 1>that Sam would have is it hard for you to

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<v Speaker 1>keep up with her sex drive because she seems very horny?

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<v Speaker 5>What why do you feel like I see warny. I'm

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<v Speaker 5>just curious to where where you got this from.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, well, first of all, I think I heard you

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<v Speaker 1>have sex. I heard about it. I heard about it,

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<v Speaker 1>so and I know and I know what. I forget

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<v Speaker 1>what you said, give it gigimy. They were fucking on

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<v Speaker 1>my terrace in my orcame again. I would say, it's

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<v Speaker 1>about your personality. You have a very flirtatious vibe about you,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's a good thing. I think that's good. I

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<v Speaker 1>wish I were more feminine. It's not something to be

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<v Speaker 1>ashamed of. It's just you guys have very different vibes.

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<v Speaker 4>What Sam vibe? Do Sam not give off sexual energy?

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<v Speaker 1>Vibes? I wouldn't say it's sexual energy, No, not at all,

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<v Speaker 1>Damn Sam. What you mean Sam gives off? I mean

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<v Speaker 1>to you, she does. But you know, like you guys

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<v Speaker 1>have a thing.

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<v Speaker 3>No, No, what do I give off?

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<v Speaker 2>That's what You're not flirting with me?

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<v Speaker 1>So I wouldn't know what those vibes are. And Yo,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not walking around swinging. Maybe you are swinging your

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<v Speaker 1>dick around. That's a description of it.

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<v Speaker 4>But I might accurate.

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<v Speaker 3>Or what what do you think I don't?

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<v Speaker 4>I think I don't think I have a high sex drive.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you think I do?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean.

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<v Speaker 6>I think you you're a horny I think we approach

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<v Speaker 6>sex different.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, that is true.

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<v Speaker 3>I think your approach is sex is like, come on,

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<v Speaker 3>put it in, do it.

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<v Speaker 2>We want to get penetrated. I want something in you

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<v Speaker 2>right away.

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<v Speaker 6>Well not necessary, And my like approach is like a build,

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<v Speaker 6>a slow build. I'm not I'm not rushed. I'm not rushed.

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<v Speaker 6>You're rushed.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not rush. You're just more of a like a baby,

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<v Speaker 5>and I'm like, all right, come on.

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<v Speaker 4>Let's get to it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>I used to be like that with sex, like I

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<v Speaker 1>just wanted to as soon as you get turned on,

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<v Speaker 1>you just want something inside you. You're like, let's go,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you miss all the foreplay though, And now

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like what Sam is describing because now I understand

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<v Speaker 1>that it's more to fool around for me anyway, I

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<v Speaker 1>like to fool around for a while.

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<v Speaker 4>What's a while for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Like a few minutes, like not more than ten minutes?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, Sam needs more than ten minutes.

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<v Speaker 5>Are you.

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<v Speaker 6>Don't, Yes, you do ten minutes of fooling around.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, it's like warming up a car. You have you

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<v Speaker 5>need time. You'll be like, no, not yet, you need time.

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<v Speaker 5>You like to make out and do all of that

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<v Speaker 5>stuff you like to do. You co play for what

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<v Speaker 5>are you considering eating pussy for play?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, it goes because we're lesbians.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, eating pussy's not for.

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<v Speaker 3>A play, I mean ends game.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, for straight people, it is for a play.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh no, no, no, that's sex for us.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, but that's why you have to get the

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<v Speaker 1>strap on, because that's not You need penetration.

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<v Speaker 2>I need it, but don't you want it right after

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<v Speaker 2>you come from that all the time all the time?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh? I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>I like a one two punch, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Mean some fingers.

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<v Speaker 5>It doesn't always have sometimes some time, but not all

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<v Speaker 5>the time. Sometimes I can do the one two punch,

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<v Speaker 5>but not all the time. I don't need it all

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<v Speaker 5>the time.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, well, well, so yeah, I'm not kissing you for

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<v Speaker 3>ten minutes.

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<v Speaker 5>No, I'm not saying kids, But it's like caressing and

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<v Speaker 5>talking and all the other stuff.

0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:13.240
<v Speaker 2>You like to swoon.

0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:17.280
<v Speaker 1>You like to she's like Harry Belafonte, Yeah, all right, boy,

0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:18.360
<v Speaker 1>you don't feel like that.

0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:19.920
<v Speaker 3>No, I don't feel like that.

0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:21.120
<v Speaker 4>What do you feel like?

0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:24.240
<v Speaker 6>If we're and I think what it is is like

0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.560
<v Speaker 6>y'all wake up and you'll be like do it to me,

0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:29.880
<v Speaker 6>and I'll be like that, ain't that ain't how to

0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:30.520
<v Speaker 6>get this done?

0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.800
<v Speaker 3>If you really we're really gonna talk about this.

0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.679
<v Speaker 6>Okay, you're not smooth. You're not going to put all

0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.560
<v Speaker 6>this on me. And you know you're not smooth. You

0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:39.680
<v Speaker 6>are real weird doork when it comes to say I

0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:40.360
<v Speaker 6>think I'm smooth.

0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:41.360
<v Speaker 3>No, you're not smooth.

0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:42.600
<v Speaker 4>I think I'm smooth. I'm sexy.

0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.040
<v Speaker 6>You're not smooth, and you're not you don't know how

0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:46.440
<v Speaker 6>to do it. I'm not gonna say you're not sexy

0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.439
<v Speaker 6>because I find you you sexy, but when you start

0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.520
<v Speaker 6>doing your moves, your moves ain't sexy.

0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:54.280
<v Speaker 4>Okay, so that may be true.

0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:59.240
<v Speaker 6>So you're so you'll be like rah, literally you will

0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:00.480
<v Speaker 6>do that.

0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, you will do that, And let you know what

0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:07.439
<v Speaker 5>that time and time it is like a cartoon.

0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:08.840
<v Speaker 2>If it's nine ten or fucking nine.

0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:12.920
<v Speaker 6>Eleven, like a cartoon, like and I'm just like all right, Like,

0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.640
<v Speaker 6>that's not getting it going. So then I got to

0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.640
<v Speaker 6>take over and like do what I gotta do to

0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.760
<v Speaker 6>get us where we need to go, because you're just

0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:26.080
<v Speaker 6>gonna be like hi and do like and stuff like, yes,

0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:30.520
<v Speaker 6>you do be doing stuff like that, and you'll be

0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.880
<v Speaker 6>doing stuff like that, Okay, I.

0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:34.840
<v Speaker 4>Mean I try.

0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:35.839
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:40.440
<v Speaker 4>I've never had to work hard, so maybe that's what

0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:40.719
<v Speaker 4>it is.

0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:42.400
<v Speaker 3>That's probably why it's coming off. So goofy.

0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, you have some good chemistry going. Obviously, you have

0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:47.559
<v Speaker 1>a good sex life. You have a healthy sex life.

0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't think you guys would either tolerate either of

0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.800
<v Speaker 1>you would tolerate being in a relationship where you didn't

0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:52.920
<v Speaker 1>have a healthy sex life.

0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:55.720
<v Speaker 6>I mean, well, I wouldn't say that we haven't been

0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:58.120
<v Speaker 6>fucking for a while, but I think that that's just

0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.640
<v Speaker 6>happens when you're with someone for a long as time.

0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.160
<v Speaker 4>Gonna be like for a wow, like it's been eighty years.

0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:04.600
<v Speaker 3>No.

0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.400
<v Speaker 6>I mean, I'm just saying, like I think everybody I

0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:09.320
<v Speaker 6>know who's been in a very long ter, you go

0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.440
<v Speaker 6>through droughts. We were just like yeah, but when we

0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:15.120
<v Speaker 6>back at it, when we're at it.

0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:15.720
<v Speaker 2>So what's a long time for you guys to go

0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:16.679
<v Speaker 2>for not having.

0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:19.040
<v Speaker 4>Sex a few months, like months, yeah.

0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:20.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, that is a decent amount of time.

0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:23.680
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I think too much, cap Yeah, but it's also

0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.520
<v Speaker 6>like she's on the road, she's busy, or what happened

0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:27.520
<v Speaker 6>with you going on the road with her?

0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:28.880
<v Speaker 2>You just gonna do it all the time?

0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:30.559
<v Speaker 5>No, I've just been saying home more to give her

0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.720
<v Speaker 5>more of her space to grow as an artist independently,

0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:34.520
<v Speaker 5>because that's.

0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.360
<v Speaker 2>How she getting in fights with the audience members.

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:41.640
<v Speaker 5>Yet that yep, now, just giving her space to you know,

0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:43.600
<v Speaker 5>well you can explain.

0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.960
<v Speaker 3>What you Oh, no, go ahead, big mama, you got it, Okay.

0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:47.520
<v Speaker 4>Well, she's just developing new stuff.

0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.160
<v Speaker 5>So she's just trying to get back to the roots

0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:50.719
<v Speaker 5>of when she first fell in love with comedy and

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.160
<v Speaker 5>when she was first on the scene and getting back

0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.480
<v Speaker 5>to the roots of grinding and like not.

0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.600
<v Speaker 4>Staying at the best places and doing all of that.

0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.319
<v Speaker 5>And when I'm on the road with her, she feels

0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:00.760
<v Speaker 5>like she has so common it means stay at the

0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.079
<v Speaker 5>best way, you know what I'm saying up to totally, that's.

0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:04.880
<v Speaker 2>Exactly how I feel. What I take anybody.

0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:06.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so she wants to just get back to the

0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 4>roots of it.

0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:08.520
<v Speaker 5>So I've just been staying home more and get in

0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 5>the house, you know, doing my own thing and letting

0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.120
<v Speaker 5>her get back to the roots of being a comic.

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, this is a perfect cutoff point to end

0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:20.360
<v Speaker 1>this episode. More on sex with Yaya and Sam when

0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:24.280
<v Speaker 1>we return. You can check out Sam Jay who is

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.760
<v Speaker 1>on tour now in cities all over the country and

0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:27.760
<v Speaker 1>she's fucking funny.

0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.080
<v Speaker 2>If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on

0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:30.720
<v Speaker 2>her own.

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 1>Special, then go watch both of those her specials on

0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.040
<v Speaker 1>HBO Max now known as Max. And then you can

0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:40.960
<v Speaker 1>follow Yaya at Vanity dot Vixen on Instagram and TikTok

0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.480
<v Speaker 1>and it is worth the follow because she's up to

0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:47.240
<v Speaker 1>some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.