Speaker 1: Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here
Speaker 1: with my friends, yah Yah and Sam. Okay, we're back
Speaker 1: with Sam and yah Ya.
Speaker 2: Hi girls, Hey, hi ladies. What's up?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: You know what?
Speaker 1: Somebody was talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There
Speaker 1: was some rumor that I was going to be on it.
Speaker 1: It's not true. But didn't you say that you auditioned
Speaker 1: for that or they.
Speaker 4: Did an audition They contacted me about it for Atlanta?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah they did, right, Yeah, that's what I told someone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't have to audition girls.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, I didn't know you got a dog.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not allowed to get a dog because Sam
Speaker 1: won't let you get a dog because we're not doing
Speaker 1: the dog because you're not going to follow.
Speaker 3: We're no, we're not talking about the dog. We just
Speaker 3: we just were dollar today.
Speaker 5: But I copy of that. But no, it's fine, we're
Speaker 5: just not going to get the dog.
Speaker 1: Yoh okay, great, that sounded like a good therapy session.
Speaker 4: It went great.
Speaker 1: That's that must be your other therapist, because yes, is
Speaker 1: not this one is not as good.
Speaker 2: So what are some of the things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you go First, that's annoy the shit out
Speaker 1: of you about living with Sam.
Speaker 5: Oh, where do I start cabinets? She doesn't close cabinets
Speaker 5: or door like. She doesn't she opens a cabinet or
Speaker 5: a drawer, she leaves it open. So like when I
Speaker 5: go into the kitchen, I feel like, what's her name, Bana.
Speaker 4: Whit who's the one that turns the bana white?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like banda white because I'm constantly closing
Speaker 5: all the cabinets and all.
Speaker 4: The doors because she leaves including the refrigerator.
Speaker 1: That's really that's kind of entitled Sam to open the
Speaker 1: doors and leave them open.
Speaker 3: It's not true. It's just not true.
Speaker 6: But I'll also be doing stuff in and out the fridge.
Speaker 6: You'll come in while I'm in the kitchen and close
Speaker 6: the frigerator.
Speaker 3: Okay, but what about the can But I'm like using
Speaker 3: the fridge.
Speaker 6: I'm not, I'm not not, I'm not not in the
Speaker 6: midst Okay, but what about the cabinet.
Speaker 1: Fridge is Actually in her defense, I changed tact. They
Speaker 1: should just be open all the time. The display should
Speaker 1: be out so we don't have to fucking open them,
Speaker 1: and look, it should.
Speaker 2: Be see through.
Speaker 4: But then I also be cold.
Speaker 1: No, it should be a glad so you could just
Speaker 1: see that's in there. Because sometimes I want to open
Speaker 1: the fridge and just fucking sit there and look at
Speaker 1: it too, Especially when I'm stoned. I circle around the
Speaker 1: fridge like four or five times a day, waiting for
Speaker 1: some meal to just create itself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then the cabinets.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I forget the cabinets, but a lot of times
Speaker 6: I'll still be in the middle of stuff and you
Speaker 6: just come in and start.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's not true.
Speaker 5: You'll be on the whole another floor and all the
Speaker 5: cabinets will be open. I have Yeah, I have video proof.
Speaker 2: Why do you have video because.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I don't know if we have a group
Speaker 5: chat and so we all have the same plight.
Speaker 6: So it was like, oh, well, Lona don't got no man.
Speaker 6: So well she did see you're digging again.
Speaker 5: She did have a man, and he did do stuff
Speaker 5: like that, so talk about but she did. So we
Speaker 5: were like my sister be like, oh her husband left
Speaker 5: the cabinet opening day. I'm like, oh, well that's nothing.
Speaker 5: I had three cabinets today. So it's like that.
Speaker 1: So and that's you guys, and then you you film
Speaker 1: it and send it to each other.
Speaker 5: Yeah, or take a picture that seems reasonable. I guess
Speaker 5: it's like our own little group chat, our funny. It's
Speaker 5: our way of like dealing.
Speaker 1: With complaining about your husband's basically, basically, but in a
Speaker 1: nice way. Right, that's not the worst thing in the world.
Speaker 1: It's not like a man leaving a toilet seat up
Speaker 1: and like you're in all over the floor, urine all
Speaker 1: over the toilet seat.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I leave my car door open a lot when
Speaker 2: I get home.
Speaker 1: I get out because I always have shit or my
Speaker 1: dog and I and then I'll see my driveway and
Speaker 1: my car's wide.
Speaker 2: Open, like the door.
Speaker 4: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I I have a gated driveway.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But they're doing a lot of Robbie out there now. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well maybe I'm just taunting them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, get it. Is that your way of trying to
Speaker 4: find a man? Do you know that guy?
Speaker 1: Remember you try the show? We were in my worka
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, I was like, you know, who's cute
Speaker 1: this guy gave? So I was dming him a little
Speaker 1: bit in my Orca one summer. But he had a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Guess who doesn't have a girlfriend anymore?
Speaker 3: By the way, didn't have a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but those deals I know, but I don't have
Speaker 1: the closer I see now that I see he's single,
Speaker 1: I've taken a closer look, and there's a beard situation
Speaker 1: on the face that looks slightly painted, almost like dyed ink,
Speaker 1: you know, like when he.
Speaker 4: Has a beijing is? What is it called beijing? A
Speaker 4: beijing has a beijing.
Speaker 3: Saying I don't know. That's what she's saying.
Speaker 5: Do you know what a beijing is?
Speaker 4: That's like they use the dye and the dye is
Speaker 4: called beijing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that that looks like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't do white men use beijing is.
Speaker 4: I don't think for the white I don't think he's
Speaker 4: white though he's other.
Speaker 2: I've been getting a lot of sex, So don't worry.
Speaker 2: I'm fine.
Speaker 3: I'm happy for you.
Speaker 4: I did see that picture of the feet on the back.
Speaker 4: That was nice. I was happy for you.
Speaker 2: Oh the one I sent you right, that was nice.
Speaker 2: I post that.
Speaker 4: I was excited for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, and Sam, let's talk about what you think is
Speaker 1: the most the thing that annoys you the most about Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's constantly moving my things and putting them with
Speaker 6: sheet things they go. But not where it is logical
Speaker 6: for me, I'm cleaning. Yeah, but you clean like you're
Speaker 6: the only person who lives in the house.
Speaker 4: No, I just clean like a person who cleans.
Speaker 6: No, because your stuff could be out. You could leave
Speaker 6: stuff out all over the house. You leave food, how
Speaker 6: you leave stuff in the office all the time, open
Speaker 6: bowls or soop.
Speaker 3: You'll leave anything.
Speaker 6: And you will move my socks and leave three cans
Speaker 6: of soda and a bunch of open food. So well,
Speaker 6: you know a little you do dream ginger real, so
Speaker 6: you count that ginger. You know, you'll have your three
Speaker 6: cans out, the food you had last night, some rappers
Speaker 6: from some candy you ate, and then you'll be like,
Speaker 6: these socks, how is my thing like so annoying? But
Speaker 6: you can have everything everywhere?
Speaker 4: Hey, I can't. I can't I help that.
Speaker 3: So yeah, so then it's like, yeah, that's what I
Speaker 3: don't like.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's those are two minor things. That's not
Speaker 1: big deal obviously, you guys like that. That's not going
Speaker 1: to be anything that breaks a company. No, no, no.
Speaker 1: And I would also say that I would guess that
Speaker 1: you have a very high sex drive yah ya, and
Speaker 1: that Sam would have is it hard for you to
Speaker 1: keep up with her sex drive because she seems very horny?
Speaker 5: What why do you feel like I see warny. I'm
Speaker 5: just curious to where where you got this from.
Speaker 1: Well, well, first of all, I think I heard you
Speaker 1: have sex. I heard about it. I heard about it,
Speaker 1: so and I know and I know what. I forget
Speaker 1: what you said, give it gigimy. They were fucking on
Speaker 1: my terrace in my orcame again. I would say, it's
Speaker 1: about your personality. You have a very flirtatious vibe about you,
Speaker 1: and that's a good thing. I think that's good. I
Speaker 1: wish I were more feminine. It's not something to be
Speaker 1: ashamed of. It's just you guys have very different vibes.
Speaker 4: What Sam vibe? Do Sam not give off sexual energy?
Speaker 1: Vibes? I wouldn't say it's sexual energy, No, not at all,
Speaker 1: Damn Sam. What you mean Sam gives off? I mean
Speaker 1: to you, she does. But you know, like you guys
Speaker 1: have a thing.
Speaker 3: No, No, what do I give off?
Speaker 2: That's what You're not flirting with me?
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't know what those vibes are. And Yo,
Speaker 1: you're not walking around swinging. Maybe you are swinging your
Speaker 1: dick around. That's a description of it.
Speaker 4: But I might accurate.
Speaker 3: Or what what do you think I don't?
Speaker 4: I think I don't think I have a high sex drive.
Speaker 4: Do you think I do?
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 6: I think you you're a horny I think we approach
Speaker 6: sex different.
Speaker 4: Okay, that is true.
Speaker 3: I think your approach is sex is like, come on,
Speaker 3: put it in, do it.
Speaker 2: We want to get penetrated. I want something in you
Speaker 2: right away.
Speaker 6: Well not necessary, And my like approach is like a build,
Speaker 6: a slow build. I'm not I'm not rushed. I'm not rushed.
Speaker 6: You're rushed.
Speaker 5: I'm not rush. You're just more of a like a baby,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, all right, come on.
Speaker 4: Let's get to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 1: I used to be like that with sex, like I
Speaker 1: just wanted to as soon as you get turned on,
Speaker 1: you just want something inside you. You're like, let's go,
Speaker 1: and then you miss all the foreplay though, And now
Speaker 1: I'm like what Sam is describing because now I understand
Speaker 1: that it's more to fool around for me anyway, I
Speaker 1: like to fool around for a while.
Speaker 4: What's a while for you?
Speaker 2: Like a few minutes, like not more than ten minutes?
Speaker 4: Okay, Sam needs more than ten minutes.
Speaker 5: Are you.
Speaker 6: Don't, Yes, you do ten minutes of fooling around.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's like warming up a car. You have you
Speaker 5: need time. You'll be like, no, not yet, you need time.
Speaker 5: You like to make out and do all of that
Speaker 5: stuff you like to do. You co play for what
Speaker 5: are you considering eating pussy for play?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Okay, it goes because we're lesbians.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wait, eating pussy's not for.
Speaker 3: A play, I mean ends game.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, for straight people, it is for a play.
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, that's sex for us.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but that's why you have to get the
Speaker 1: strap on, because that's not You need penetration.
Speaker 2: I need it, but don't you want it right after
Speaker 2: you come from that all the time all the time?
Speaker 3: Oh? I like that.
Speaker 2: I like a one two punch, I.
Speaker 3: Mean some fingers.
Speaker 5: It doesn't always have sometimes some time, but not all
Speaker 5: the time. Sometimes I can do the one two punch,
Speaker 5: but not all the time. I don't need it all
Speaker 5: the time.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, well, so yeah, I'm not kissing you for
Speaker 3: ten minutes.
Speaker 5: No, I'm not saying kids, But it's like caressing and
Speaker 5: talking and all the other stuff.
Speaker 2: You like to swoon.
Speaker 1: You like to she's like Harry Belafonte, Yeah, all right, boy,
Speaker 1: you don't feel like that.
Speaker 3: No, I don't feel like that.
Speaker 4: What do you feel like?
Speaker 6: If we're and I think what it is is like
Speaker 6: y'all wake up and you'll be like do it to me,
Speaker 6: and I'll be like that, ain't that ain't how to
Speaker 6: get this done?
Speaker 3: If you really we're really gonna talk about this.
Speaker 6: Okay, you're not smooth. You're not going to put all
Speaker 6: this on me. And you know you're not smooth. You
Speaker 6: are real weird doork when it comes to say I
Speaker 6: think I'm smooth.
Speaker 3: No, you're not smooth.
Speaker 4: I think I'm smooth. I'm sexy.
Speaker 6: You're not smooth, and you're not you don't know how
Speaker 6: to do it. I'm not gonna say you're not sexy
Speaker 6: because I find you you sexy, but when you start
Speaker 6: doing your moves, your moves ain't sexy.
Speaker 4: Okay, so that may be true.
Speaker 6: So you're so you'll be like rah, literally you will
Speaker 6: do that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you will do that, And let you know what
Speaker 5: that time and time it is like a cartoon.
Speaker 2: If it's nine ten or fucking nine.
Speaker 6: Eleven, like a cartoon, like and I'm just like all right, Like,
Speaker 6: that's not getting it going. So then I got to
Speaker 6: take over and like do what I gotta do to
Speaker 6: get us where we need to go, because you're just
Speaker 6: gonna be like hi and do like and stuff like, yes,
Speaker 6: you do be doing stuff like that, and you'll be
Speaker 6: doing stuff like that, Okay, I.
Speaker 4: Mean I try.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I've never had to work hard, so maybe that's what
Speaker 4: it is.
Speaker 3: That's probably why it's coming off. So goofy.
Speaker 1: Well, you have some good chemistry going. Obviously, you have
Speaker 1: a good sex life. You have a healthy sex life.
Speaker 1: I don't think you guys would either tolerate either of
Speaker 1: you would tolerate being in a relationship where you didn't
Speaker 1: have a healthy sex life.
Speaker 6: I mean, well, I wouldn't say that we haven't been
Speaker 6: fucking for a while, but I think that that's just
Speaker 6: happens when you're with someone for a long as time.
Speaker 4: Gonna be like for a wow, like it's been eighty years.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 6: I mean, I'm just saying, like I think everybody I
Speaker 6: know who's been in a very long ter, you go
Speaker 6: through droughts. We were just like yeah, but when we
Speaker 6: back at it, when we're at it.
Speaker 2: So what's a long time for you guys to go
Speaker 2: for not having.
Speaker 4: Sex a few months, like months, yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that is a decent amount of time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think too much, cap Yeah, but it's also
Speaker 6: like she's on the road, she's busy, or what happened
Speaker 6: with you going on the road with her?
Speaker 2: You just gonna do it all the time?
Speaker 5: No, I've just been saying home more to give her
Speaker 5: more of her space to grow as an artist independently,
Speaker 5: because that's.
Speaker 2: How she getting in fights with the audience members.
Speaker 5: Yet that yep, now, just giving her space to you know,
Speaker 5: well you can explain.
Speaker 3: What you Oh, no, go ahead, big mama, you got it, Okay.
Speaker 4: Well, she's just developing new stuff.
Speaker 5: So she's just trying to get back to the roots
Speaker 5: of when she first fell in love with comedy and
Speaker 5: when she was first on the scene and getting back
Speaker 5: to the roots of grinding and like not.
Speaker 4: Staying at the best places and doing all of that.
Speaker 5: And when I'm on the road with her, she feels
Speaker 5: like she has so common it means stay at the
Speaker 5: best way, you know what I'm saying up to totally, that's.
Speaker 2: Exactly how I feel. What I take anybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so she wants to just get back to the
Speaker 4: roots of it.
Speaker 5: So I've just been staying home more and get in
Speaker 5: the house, you know, doing my own thing and letting
Speaker 5: her get back to the roots of being a comic.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, this is a perfect cutoff point to end
Speaker 1: this episode. More on sex with Yaya and Sam when
Speaker 1: we return. You can check out Sam Jay who is
Speaker 1: on tour now in cities all over the country and
Speaker 1: she's fucking funny.
Speaker 2: If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on
Speaker 2: her own.
Speaker 1: Special, then go watch both of those her specials on
Speaker 1: HBO Max now known as Max. And then you can
Speaker 1: follow Yaya at Vanity dot Vixen on Instagram and TikTok
Speaker 1: and it is worth the follow because she's up to
Speaker 1: some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.