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Speaker 1: Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here

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Speaker 1: with my friends, yah Yah and Sam. Okay, we're back

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Speaker 1: with Sam and yah Ya.

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Speaker 2: Hi girls, Hey, hi ladies. What's up?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: You know what?

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Speaker 1: Somebody was talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There

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Speaker 1: was some rumor that I was going to be on it.

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Speaker 1: It's not true. But didn't you say that you auditioned

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Speaker 1: for that or they.

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Speaker 4: Did an audition They contacted me about it for Atlanta?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah they did, right, Yeah, that's what I told someone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't have to audition girls.

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Speaker 2: Okay, guys, I didn't know you got a dog.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm not allowed to get a dog because Sam

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Speaker 1: won't let you get a dog because we're not doing

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Speaker 1: the dog because you're not going to follow.

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Speaker 3: We're no, we're not talking about the dog. We just

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Speaker 3: we just were dollar today.

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Speaker 5: But I copy of that. But no, it's fine, we're

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Speaker 5: just not going to get the dog.

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Speaker 1: Yoh okay, great, that sounded like a good therapy session.

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Speaker 4: It went great.

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Speaker 1: That's that must be your other therapist, because yes, is

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Speaker 1: not this one is not as good.

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Speaker 2: So what are some of the things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you go First, that's annoy the shit out

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Speaker 1: of you about living with Sam.

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Speaker 5: Oh, where do I start cabinets? She doesn't close cabinets

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Speaker 5: or door like. She doesn't she opens a cabinet or

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Speaker 5: a drawer, she leaves it open. So like when I

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Speaker 5: go into the kitchen, I feel like, what's her name, Bana.

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Speaker 4: Whit who's the one that turns the bana white?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like banda white because I'm constantly closing

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Speaker 5: all the cabinets and all.

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Speaker 4: The doors because she leaves including the refrigerator.

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Speaker 1: That's really that's kind of entitled Sam to open the

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Speaker 1: doors and leave them open.

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Speaker 3: It's not true. It's just not true.

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Speaker 6: But I'll also be doing stuff in and out the fridge.

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Speaker 6: You'll come in while I'm in the kitchen and close

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Speaker 6: the frigerator.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but what about the can But I'm like using

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Speaker 3: the fridge.

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Speaker 6: I'm not, I'm not not, I'm not not in the

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Speaker 6: midst Okay, but what about the cabinet.

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Speaker 1: Fridge is Actually in her defense, I changed tact. They

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Speaker 1: should just be open all the time. The display should

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Speaker 1: be out so we don't have to fucking open them,

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Speaker 1: and look, it should.

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Speaker 2: Be see through.

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Speaker 4: But then I also be cold.

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Speaker 1: No, it should be a glad so you could just

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Speaker 1: see that's in there. Because sometimes I want to open

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Speaker 1: the fridge and just fucking sit there and look at

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Speaker 1: it too, Especially when I'm stoned. I circle around the

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Speaker 1: fridge like four or five times a day, waiting for

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Speaker 1: some meal to just create itself.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and then the cabinets.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes I forget the cabinets, but a lot of times

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Speaker 6: I'll still be in the middle of stuff and you

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Speaker 6: just come in and start.

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Speaker 4: Oh, that's not true.

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Speaker 5: You'll be on the whole another floor and all the

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Speaker 5: cabinets will be open. I have Yeah, I have video proof.

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Speaker 2: Why do you have video because.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because I don't know if we have a group

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Speaker 5: chat and so we all have the same plight.

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Speaker 6: So it was like, oh, well, Lona don't got no man.

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Speaker 6: So well she did see you're digging again.

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Speaker 5: She did have a man, and he did do stuff

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Speaker 5: like that, so talk about but she did. So we

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Speaker 5: were like my sister be like, oh her husband left

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Speaker 5: the cabinet opening day. I'm like, oh, well that's nothing.

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Speaker 5: I had three cabinets today. So it's like that.

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Speaker 1: So and that's you guys, and then you you film

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Speaker 1: it and send it to each other.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, or take a picture that seems reasonable. I guess

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Speaker 5: it's like our own little group chat, our funny. It's

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Speaker 5: our way of like dealing.

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Speaker 1: With complaining about your husband's basically, basically, but in a

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Speaker 1: nice way. Right, that's not the worst thing in the world.

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Speaker 1: It's not like a man leaving a toilet seat up

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Speaker 1: and like you're in all over the floor, urine all

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Speaker 1: over the toilet seat.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I leave my car door open a lot when

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Speaker 2: I get home.

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Speaker 1: I get out because I always have shit or my

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Speaker 1: dog and I and then I'll see my driveway and

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Speaker 1: my car's wide.

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Speaker 2: Open, like the door.

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Speaker 4: Are you serious?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I I have a gated driveway.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But they're doing a lot of Robbie out there now. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well maybe I'm just taunting them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, get it. Is that your way of trying to

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Speaker 4: find a man? Do you know that guy?

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Speaker 1: Remember you try the show? We were in my worka

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Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, I was like, you know, who's cute

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Speaker 1: this guy gave? So I was dming him a little

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Speaker 1: bit in my Orca one summer. But he had a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Guess who doesn't have a girlfriend anymore?

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Speaker 3: By the way, didn't have a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but those deals I know, but I don't have

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Speaker 1: the closer I see now that I see he's single,

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Speaker 1: I've taken a closer look, and there's a beard situation

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Speaker 1: on the face that looks slightly painted, almost like dyed ink,

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Speaker 1: you know, like when he.

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Speaker 4: Has a beijing is? What is it called beijing? A

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Speaker 4: beijing has a beijing.

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Speaker 3: Saying I don't know. That's what she's saying.

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Speaker 5: Do you know what a beijing is?

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Speaker 4: That's like they use the dye and the dye is

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Speaker 4: called beijing.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that that looks like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't do white men use beijing is.

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Speaker 4: I don't think for the white I don't think he's

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Speaker 4: white though he's other.

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Speaker 2: I've been getting a lot of sex, So don't worry.

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Speaker 2: I'm fine.

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Speaker 3: I'm happy for you.

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Speaker 4: I did see that picture of the feet on the back.

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Speaker 4: That was nice. I was happy for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh the one I sent you right, that was nice.

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Speaker 2: I post that.

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Speaker 4: I was excited for you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and Sam, let's talk about what you think is

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Speaker 1: the most the thing that annoys you the most about Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, she's constantly moving my things and putting them with

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Speaker 6: sheet things they go. But not where it is logical

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Speaker 6: for me, I'm cleaning. Yeah, but you clean like you're

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Speaker 6: the only person who lives in the house.

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Speaker 4: No, I just clean like a person who cleans.

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Speaker 6: No, because your stuff could be out. You could leave

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Speaker 6: stuff out all over the house. You leave food, how

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Speaker 6: you leave stuff in the office all the time, open

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Speaker 6: bowls or soop.

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Speaker 3: You'll leave anything.

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Speaker 6: And you will move my socks and leave three cans

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Speaker 6: of soda and a bunch of open food. So well,

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Speaker 6: you know a little you do dream ginger real, so

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Speaker 6: you count that ginger. You know, you'll have your three

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Speaker 6: cans out, the food you had last night, some rappers

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Speaker 6: from some candy you ate, and then you'll be like,

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Speaker 6: these socks, how is my thing like so annoying? But

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Speaker 6: you can have everything everywhere?

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Speaker 4: Hey, I can't. I can't I help that.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, so then it's like, yeah, that's what I

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Speaker 3: don't like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So that's those are two minor things. That's not

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Speaker 1: big deal obviously, you guys like that. That's not going

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Speaker 1: to be anything that breaks a company. No, no, no.

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Speaker 1: And I would also say that I would guess that

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Speaker 1: you have a very high sex drive yah ya, and

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Speaker 1: that Sam would have is it hard for you to

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Speaker 1: keep up with her sex drive because she seems very horny?

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Speaker 5: What why do you feel like I see warny. I'm

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Speaker 5: just curious to where where you got this from.

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Speaker 1: Well, well, first of all, I think I heard you

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Speaker 1: have sex. I heard about it. I heard about it,

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Speaker 1: so and I know and I know what. I forget

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Speaker 1: what you said, give it gigimy. They were fucking on

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Speaker 1: my terrace in my orcame again. I would say, it's

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Speaker 1: about your personality. You have a very flirtatious vibe about you,

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Speaker 1: and that's a good thing. I think that's good. I

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Speaker 1: wish I were more feminine. It's not something to be

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Speaker 1: ashamed of. It's just you guys have very different vibes.

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Speaker 4: What Sam vibe? Do Sam not give off sexual energy?

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Speaker 1: Vibes? I wouldn't say it's sexual energy, No, not at all,

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Speaker 1: Damn Sam. What you mean Sam gives off? I mean

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Speaker 1: to you, she does. But you know, like you guys

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Speaker 1: have a thing.

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Speaker 3: No, No, what do I give off?

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Speaker 2: That's what You're not flirting with me?

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Speaker 1: So I wouldn't know what those vibes are. And Yo,

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Speaker 1: you're not walking around swinging. Maybe you are swinging your

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Speaker 1: dick around. That's a description of it.

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Speaker 4: But I might accurate.

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Speaker 3: Or what what do you think I don't?

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Speaker 4: I think I don't think I have a high sex drive.

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Speaker 4: Do you think I do?

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Speaker 3: I mean.

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Speaker 6: I think you you're a horny I think we approach

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Speaker 6: sex different.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that is true.

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Speaker 3: I think your approach is sex is like, come on,

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Speaker 3: put it in, do it.

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Speaker 2: We want to get penetrated. I want something in you

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Speaker 2: right away.

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Speaker 6: Well not necessary, And my like approach is like a build,

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Speaker 6: a slow build. I'm not I'm not rushed. I'm not rushed.

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Speaker 6: You're rushed.

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Speaker 5: I'm not rush. You're just more of a like a baby,

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Speaker 5: and I'm like, all right, come on.

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Speaker 4: Let's get to it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's funny.

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Speaker 1: I used to be like that with sex, like I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to as soon as you get turned on,

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Speaker 1: you just want something inside you. You're like, let's go,

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Speaker 1: and then you miss all the foreplay though, And now

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Speaker 1: I'm like what Sam is describing because now I understand

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Speaker 1: that it's more to fool around for me anyway, I

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Speaker 1: like to fool around for a while.

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Speaker 4: What's a while for you?

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Speaker 2: Like a few minutes, like not more than ten minutes?

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Speaker 4: Okay, Sam needs more than ten minutes.

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Speaker 5: Are you.

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Speaker 6: Don't, Yes, you do ten minutes of fooling around.

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Speaker 5: Yes, it's like warming up a car. You have you

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Speaker 5: need time. You'll be like, no, not yet, you need time.

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Speaker 5: You like to make out and do all of that

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Speaker 5: stuff you like to do. You co play for what

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Speaker 5: are you considering eating pussy for play?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Okay, it goes because we're lesbians.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wait, eating pussy's not for.

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Speaker 3: A play, I mean ends game.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, for straight people, it is for a play.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, that's sex for us.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but that's why you have to get the

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Speaker 1: strap on, because that's not You need penetration.

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Speaker 2: I need it, but don't you want it right after

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Speaker 2: you come from that all the time all the time?

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Speaker 3: Oh? I like that.

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Speaker 2: I like a one two punch, I.

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Speaker 3: Mean some fingers.

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Speaker 5: It doesn't always have sometimes some time, but not all

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Speaker 5: the time. Sometimes I can do the one two punch,

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Speaker 5: but not all the time. I don't need it all

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Speaker 5: the time.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, well, so yeah, I'm not kissing you for

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Speaker 3: ten minutes.

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Speaker 5: No, I'm not saying kids, But it's like caressing and

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Speaker 5: talking and all the other stuff.

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Speaker 2: You like to swoon.

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Speaker 1: You like to she's like Harry Belafonte, Yeah, all right, boy,

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Speaker 1: you don't feel like that.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't feel like that.

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Speaker 4: What do you feel like?

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Speaker 6: If we're and I think what it is is like

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Speaker 6: y'all wake up and you'll be like do it to me,

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Speaker 6: and I'll be like that, ain't that ain't how to

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Speaker 6: get this done?

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Speaker 3: If you really we're really gonna talk about this.

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Speaker 6: Okay, you're not smooth. You're not going to put all

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Speaker 6: this on me. And you know you're not smooth. You

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Speaker 6: are real weird doork when it comes to say I

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Speaker 6: think I'm smooth.

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Speaker 3: No, you're not smooth.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm smooth. I'm sexy.

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Speaker 6: You're not smooth, and you're not you don't know how

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Speaker 6: to do it. I'm not gonna say you're not sexy

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Speaker 6: because I find you you sexy, but when you start

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Speaker 6: doing your moves, your moves ain't sexy.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so that may be true.

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Speaker 6: So you're so you'll be like rah, literally you will

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Speaker 6: do that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you will do that, And let you know what

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Speaker 5: that time and time it is like a cartoon.

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Speaker 2: If it's nine ten or fucking nine.

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Speaker 6: Eleven, like a cartoon, like and I'm just like all right, Like,

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Speaker 6: that's not getting it going. So then I got to

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Speaker 6: take over and like do what I gotta do to

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Speaker 6: get us where we need to go, because you're just

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Speaker 6: gonna be like hi and do like and stuff like, yes,

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Speaker 6: you do be doing stuff like that, and you'll be

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Speaker 6: doing stuff like that, Okay, I.

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Speaker 4: Mean I try.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I've never had to work hard, so maybe that's what

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Speaker 4: it is.

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Speaker 3: That's probably why it's coming off. So goofy.

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Speaker 1: Well, you have some good chemistry going. Obviously, you have

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Speaker 1: a good sex life. You have a healthy sex life.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you guys would either tolerate either of

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Speaker 1: you would tolerate being in a relationship where you didn't

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Speaker 1: have a healthy sex life.

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Speaker 6: I mean, well, I wouldn't say that we haven't been

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Speaker 6: fucking for a while, but I think that that's just

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Speaker 6: happens when you're with someone for a long as time.

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Speaker 4: Gonna be like for a wow, like it's been eighty years.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I'm just saying, like I think everybody I

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Speaker 6: know who's been in a very long ter, you go

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Speaker 6: through droughts. We were just like yeah, but when we

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Speaker 6: back at it, when we're at it.

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Speaker 2: So what's a long time for you guys to go

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Speaker 2: for not having.

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Speaker 4: Sex a few months, like months, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that is a decent amount of time.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think too much, cap Yeah, but it's also

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Speaker 6: like she's on the road, she's busy, or what happened

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Speaker 6: with you going on the road with her?

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Speaker 2: You just gonna do it all the time?

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Speaker 5: No, I've just been saying home more to give her

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Speaker 5: more of her space to grow as an artist independently,

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Speaker 5: because that's.

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Speaker 2: How she getting in fights with the audience members.

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Speaker 5: Yet that yep, now, just giving her space to you know,

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Speaker 5: well you can explain.

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Speaker 3: What you Oh, no, go ahead, big mama, you got it, Okay.

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Speaker 4: Well, she's just developing new stuff.

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Speaker 5: So she's just trying to get back to the roots

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Speaker 5: of when she first fell in love with comedy and

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Speaker 5: when she was first on the scene and getting back

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Speaker 5: to the roots of grinding and like not.

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Speaker 4: Staying at the best places and doing all of that.

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Speaker 5: And when I'm on the road with her, she feels

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Speaker 5: like she has so common it means stay at the

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Speaker 5: best way, you know what I'm saying up to totally, that's.

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Speaker 2: Exactly how I feel. What I take anybody.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so she wants to just get back to the

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Speaker 4: roots of it.

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Speaker 5: So I've just been staying home more and get in

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Speaker 5: the house, you know, doing my own thing and letting

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Speaker 5: her get back to the roots of being a comic.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, this is a perfect cutoff point to end

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Speaker 1: this episode. More on sex with Yaya and Sam when

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Speaker 1: we return. You can check out Sam Jay who is

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Speaker 1: on tour now in cities all over the country and

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Speaker 1: she's fucking funny.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on

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Speaker 2: her own.

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Speaker 1: Special, then go watch both of those her specials on

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Speaker 1: HBO Max now known as Max. And then you can

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Speaker 1: follow Yaya at Vanity dot Vixen on Instagram and TikTok

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Speaker 1: and it is worth the follow because she's up to

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Speaker 1: some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.