Speaker 1: Hi everybody. Oh, Hi, welcome to us. This is It's
Speaker 1: Catherine and me. Hi Katherine, Hi, everybody. Hi. This is
Speaker 1: one of our little mini episodes before we come back
Speaker 1: for season two. I wanted to check in with all
Speaker 1: of our listeners and make sure you know that we
Speaker 1: are not leaving you hanging, that we are here. Katherine
Speaker 1: is our producer and she is going to be my
Speaker 1: de facto co host, Right, you are going to keep
Speaker 1: my ship together so that I get everything in order
Speaker 1: keep it moving. Yeah, And Katherine is pretty much in
Speaker 1: charge of this podcast, so it's basically like having a
Speaker 1: nanny at work, right. I hope I'm a nice fanny.
Speaker 1: You are? You? Are you? So? Yeah? You guys, I'm
Speaker 1: really excited because I am. I'm in love. I'm in
Speaker 1: love with somebody that I've known for like eighteen years.
Speaker 1: He used to be on my show, my old show
Speaker 1: Chelsea Lately. His name is Joe Koy and he was
Speaker 1: like my little brother. So I just really never thought
Speaker 1: that I would let that happen or would be interested
Speaker 1: in that happening. And I hadn't in him for a
Speaker 1: really long time, but he used to be on my
Speaker 1: show all the time, and we We always had a
Speaker 1: great bond, but it was never anything more than a friendship.
Speaker 1: And then I think about a year and a half ago,
Speaker 1: he reached out to me because he wanted a blurb
Speaker 1: for his book that was coming out, called Mixed Plate,
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget He texted me and said, hey,
Speaker 1: can we talk on the phone, And I wrote, not
Speaker 1: if you're going to hit on me, and he wrote, God, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? And then I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you can call me, but he FaceTime me, and so
Speaker 1: I don't like. I didn't like FaceTime. Now I like
Speaker 1: FaceTime because he's forced FaceTime on me. But we kind
Speaker 1: of reconnected. And then I went to Whistler and then
Speaker 1: he called me almost every day when I was in
Speaker 1: Whistler face time, which means I rarely answer. But he
Speaker 1: just kept face timing me and face timing me and
Speaker 1: face timing me. And you know, no one could come
Speaker 1: to Canada because of COVID and all the borders were
Speaker 1: closed and I got in by the skin of my teeth.
Speaker 1: So I just never really thought about it. And then
Speaker 1: when I came home, we started hanging out and everyone
Speaker 1: kept saying to me, like when are you Joe Quick
Speaker 1: gonna get together? I'm like, it's never gonna happen, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not like that, It's not like that. And then
Speaker 1: one day, it was one day he walked in. I
Speaker 1: was performing in Vegas and he came to my show
Speaker 1: and he walked into the mirage, into the hotel room,
Speaker 1: and my sister and a bunch of my friends were there,
Speaker 1: and I just thought, oh, like, this is okay, okay,
Speaker 1: now this is going to happen. It was just a
Speaker 1: total I just saw him in a different way, and
Speaker 1: I definitely think therapy made me look at him through
Speaker 1: a different lens, even though it took me a year
Speaker 1: to see he was never going to make a move
Speaker 1: on me because he really valued our friendship. So I
Speaker 1: basically had to get to the point where he tried
Speaker 1: to convince me it was my idea, even though I
Speaker 1: know it was his idea all along. He wanted me
Speaker 1: to believe that I've had a crush on him for
Speaker 1: eighteen years, when really the truth is that he's had
Speaker 1: a crush on me. But whatever, We're not gonna you know,
Speaker 1: parse words. We'll have him on the podcast at the
Speaker 1: beginning of season two, so we can both tell our
Speaker 1: versions of the story, but it's basically like Harry met Sally,
Speaker 1: but he's Sally and I'm har And I have to
Speaker 1: say I would never ever shout from the rooftops about
Speaker 1: a dating situation unless I felt completely different than I've
Speaker 1: ever felt before. And I have to say that all
Speaker 1: of my work, like therapy, internal work and trying to like,
Speaker 1: you know, self awareness, meditation, all of those things really
Speaker 1: contributed to me being able to be in a healthy
Speaker 1: relationship with somebody who just is so healthy. I said
Speaker 1: to him the other day that I found cellulate on
Speaker 1: my arm. He goes, you know how hot that is?
Speaker 1: I love cellulate, and I'm like, you make me want
Speaker 1: to do anal like those times. If men could just
Speaker 1: talk to women like that, then everything would be fine
Speaker 1: in the world. If men could just tell women that
Speaker 1: every shortcoming, every self conscious thing that they have, every insecurity,
Speaker 1: if they just sat there and too. I mean, he
Speaker 1: calls me every morning all the time. He's just everything
Speaker 1: he says is right. And I want to write a handbook. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to write a book called the Filipino Inside
Speaker 1: Me or no, the Filipino in Me. Well, I haven't
Speaker 1: decided on the title, but don't steal it. And it's
Speaker 1: gonna be a handbook for men and men how they
Speaker 1: need to treat women. Like everywhere I walk, he just
Speaker 1: follows behind me and picks up everything I put down,
Speaker 1: my purse, my sunglasses, my lip bomb, my phone. He
Speaker 1: just follows me around and picks it up. Never lets
Speaker 1: me hold anything, never lets me do anything for myself.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like exceeded any dream I've ever
Speaker 1: had about how any man could ever be. And I,
Speaker 1: you know, now I'm done for So I'm with him.
Speaker 1: And and he has sleep apnea, so he basically looks
Speaker 1: like an octopus. Every night when he goes to sleep,
Speaker 1: he hooks up this machine, this plastic bubble that wraps
Speaker 1: around his nose and over his mouth, and then it's
Speaker 1: a strap behind his head, and it's a box and
Speaker 1: a chord that he can It's like basically living with
Speaker 1: somebody from Jurassic Park every night. And I'm I'm okay
Speaker 1: with it. I mean, I'm okay with sleeping with somebody
Speaker 1: who has allowed Hippopontamus in the room. That is love.
Speaker 1: That is love. So I'm in love, and I plan
Speaker 1: on staying this way, you know, for forever, really with him,
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to share that with you guys
Speaker 1: and the audience because I know a lot of women
Speaker 1: out there, you know, think, oh God. And I really
Speaker 1: was ready to just assume that I would be by
Speaker 1: myself for the rest of my life because of the
Speaker 1: way that I feel about you know, not all men,
Speaker 1: but certain types of men are really discouraging and they
Speaker 1: make you feel like, oh God, I'm never going to
Speaker 1: be with anybody smart enough or cool enough or kind enough.
Speaker 1: And I just thought, oh, I'll be alone. I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: I've got money, I've got friends, I've got my family,
Speaker 1: Like what do I really need? Do I need all
Speaker 1: of that? So for that to come along into my
Speaker 1: life means that there's a plan for everybody, and everybody's
Speaker 1: going to get what they're supposed to get. And it
Speaker 1: makes me believe that everyone's going to be fine. Now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like you had a full life. But it's like
Speaker 1: the cherry on top, Oh my god, the best cherry
Speaker 1: on the top. I mean, he is just the asked
Speaker 1: funny tells me to shut the funk up. I love
Speaker 1: that He's like, Hey, Chelsea, why don't you shut the
Speaker 1: funk up now. I love that so hot. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's not really in style right now, but it is
Speaker 1: for me. Well. Our first update from a caller today
Speaker 1: comes from Andrea. She was from the episode if you're
Speaker 1: asking the question, you have the answer. Her sister has
Speaker 1: down syndrome, and she was wondering if she should continue
Speaker 1: to have her sister. I remember her, Yeah, so, she said.
Speaker 1: After the show aired, I was able to listen a
Speaker 1: few times and thought your advice was bang on. A
Speaker 1: few days afterward, I kind of broke down in overwhelm
Speaker 1: and tears, as the realities and responsibilities are big. But
Speaker 1: I've been feeling a lot better since, so that's good.
Speaker 1: I've been messaging a guy for sixteen months and obviously
Speaker 1: talk to him about my life dilemma, and he said
Speaker 1: something really nice about needing an understanding partner. I also
Speaker 1: remembered that I had told my ex husband I wanted
Speaker 1: Adele to live with us and he had said no. Hence,
Speaker 1: I think why he's the ex husband, so that might
Speaker 1: be something I need to let go of. For now.
Speaker 1: Adele's still with me, and we're going to make her
Speaker 1: a YouTube channel to share her cooking and dance moves.
Speaker 1: I think her going back for the winter is the
Speaker 1: best course of action so I can just be out
Speaker 1: in the mountains without having to make sure I'm home
Speaker 1: on time every night. Andrea, okay, Andrea, okay, I remember
Speaker 1: you vividly, and I tell that story about you calling
Speaker 1: in whenever I'm talking about this podcast, so that sounds good.
Speaker 1: But yeah, again, it's exactly what we talked about, right, Like,
Speaker 1: any man worth their salt that's going to come into
Speaker 1: your life is also going to love your sister, so
Speaker 1: that can't be your impetus for however you decide to
Speaker 1: move forward with the future. So I understand she's going back,
Speaker 1: and maybe it is too big of a responsibility for you,
Speaker 1: but to put a man that you haven't met before
Speaker 1: your sister doesn't make any sense either. And I'm glad
Speaker 1: you really listened to the podcast and keep us updated.
Speaker 1: And I like the guy that you've been talking to
Speaker 1: you for sixteen months, But like, when is that party
Speaker 1: going to get started? Let's go right, sixteen months? I
Speaker 1: mean something more needs to happen, right, okay? So in person, yeah,
Speaker 1: and sixty months messaging, I mean I would have lost that.
Speaker 1: I would have lost steam for that about two weeks in.
Speaker 1: So our next update comes from Andrea, who wanted help
Speaker 1: breaking up with her boyfriend. I took Chelsea and Brandon's
Speaker 1: advice and broke up with him. Oh God, that sounds
Speaker 1: so terrible. It was hard, and at the beginning he
Speaker 1: took it very well. It's been rocky ever since. He
Speaker 1: wanted to keep talking as friends, but I found it
Speaker 1: hard to differentiate the before and after, so I told
Speaker 1: him I needed distance. I loved what you said about
Speaker 1: his feelings not being my responsibility, and I tried to
Speaker 1: remind myself of that whenever I feel bad for him.
Speaker 1: Knowing that someone who I was extremely close to is
Speaker 1: no longer close with me, it's sometimes hard to process.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I feel great. I love being single and everything
Speaker 1: that comes with it. Andrea, I love that updated. And also,
Speaker 1: you know about someone else's feelings not being a responsibility.
Speaker 1: Feeling bad for somebody is totally normal. That doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you get back together with them. All you have
Speaker 1: to think about is if somebody got back together with
Speaker 1: you because they felt sorry for you, would you ever
Speaker 1: want somebody to date you out of pity? No? So
Speaker 1: that's your answer on that front too, and it's nice
Speaker 1: that you feel sorry for him. But he's going to
Speaker 1: be fine. Everybody survives breakups. They happen all the time,
Speaker 1: so I'm proud of you. That's exciting. Our last update
Speaker 1: for today comes from William, who was dealing with codependency
Speaker 1: issues and he had gotten divorced and then when he
Speaker 1: went on another date, he found himself like immediately thinking
Speaker 1: this was his person every single time. He was a teacher,
Speaker 1: he was in a band, and he had written about
Speaker 1: these dates that got him ghosted after he read too
Speaker 1: much into the connection. He says, I found Chelsea and
Speaker 1: Brandon's advice to be absolutely spot on. The most controversial
Speaker 1: advice when I told other friends about it was the
Speaker 1: one text rule. Remember he had said, well, I only
Speaker 1: text people a couple of times if I haven't heard
Speaker 1: back from them, and you said no, no, no, you
Speaker 1: get to only text them one time and then it's done.
Speaker 1: I've implemented it and have had positive results. No one
Speaker 1: gets scared off anymore, and I shake loose those that
Speaker 1: aren't interested. What was controversial was when I told my
Speaker 1: female friends about this rule, they said, what, that's terrible.
Speaker 1: I want someone texting me all the time, so I
Speaker 1: know they're interested. Both of my friends, like me, suffer
Speaker 1: from codependency issues. I admire Chelsea's ability to separate sex
Speaker 1: from emotions. It's a characteristic I had prior to my marriage,
Speaker 1: but haven't been able to separate since my divorce. I
Speaker 1: often confused these passionate interchanges with something deeper, much like
Speaker 1: the date I originally wrote about. So I started realizing
Speaker 1: that I need to love myself first, take some time
Speaker 1: to myself, which was what you recommended. So I started
Speaker 1: doing some soul searching. I planned out vacations and took
Speaker 1: them on my own. I took a few with my
Speaker 1: son and family. I went camping, I went to Vegas.
Speaker 1: I did everything to reaffirm my identity. I ate well.
Speaker 1: I loved being with my family. And next I'm going
Speaker 1: to do the prey a portion. I'm going to a
Speaker 1: Buddhist monastery for six days. I'm hoping this will open
Speaker 1: me up to a spiritual definition of who I am.
Speaker 1: I'm already starting to feel like I'm ready to date again,
Speaker 1: and I feel more affirmed of who I am, so
Speaker 1: much so that I applied to the Master's program for education.
Speaker 1: I'm slowly starting to dip my toe in the dating
Speaker 1: pool one text at a time. Thanks William, Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember. William was a bit of a hot mess.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. Yes, when you're into somebody and
Speaker 1: the relationship has developed, then the constant texting is fine
Speaker 1: because you're both on the same page. But when you're
Speaker 1: starting the relationship, it can't be uneven like that. You
Speaker 1: have to like have a little bit I don't want
Speaker 1: to say gamesmanship, but there has to be a little
Speaker 1: bit a lure of a lure, like I don't want
Speaker 1: to be bombarded by somebody in the beginning. And you
Speaker 1: know what, perfect examples of Joe and I dating, Like
Speaker 1: whatever terms I set, he just agreed to them and
Speaker 1: met them. If I was like, okay, we saw each
Speaker 1: other one night and I need three nights off, he
Speaker 1: never said a word. You just go make himself busy.
Speaker 1: If I call them and say, oh, let's do something. Now,
Speaker 1: we're inseparable because it happened at a natural clip. It
Speaker 1: wasn't forced on us. So like just because something doesn't
Speaker 1: start out like so fiery, like oh my god, we
Speaker 1: have to be texting back and forth. That takes a
Speaker 1: while to develop, and it's un natural false intimacy if
Speaker 1: it happens before it's ready anyway, So it's good to
Speaker 1: just meet people where they are instead of trying to
Speaker 1: push it into something that it's not. And I think
Speaker 1: with all of your self reflection and introspection, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be at that place where you realize you don't have
Speaker 1: to do that. You don't have to force the situation.
Speaker 1: When it's right, it will develop naturally and you'll know
Speaker 1: how to behave in an appropriate way tantumount to the situation.
Speaker 1: So this is good. We should have a summer camp,
Speaker 1: a dear Chelsea summer camp. It would turn into just
Speaker 1: a Molly party though, you know with my history. Well,
Speaker 1: I think we have to take a quick ad break, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, let's do it excellent, and when
Speaker 1: we come back, we'll have some questions for you. So
Speaker 1: our first question for you, Chelsea comes from MW My
Speaker 1: really pressing question. They say, can you discuss your eyelash experience?
Speaker 1: They look so beautiful? Oh yes, I have Mony does
Speaker 1: my eyelashes. And I have a girl, Sarah, who also
Speaker 1: I don't have her, but she does my eyelashes too,
Speaker 1: I get fake eyelashes installed, is what I like to
Speaker 1: how I like to frame it, probably every two and
Speaker 1: a half three weeks. I like to ask for the
Speaker 1: chocolate brown because I'm a blonde, so the black ones
Speaker 1: look very fake, and I don't like them too bushy
Speaker 1: because they look fake, they do fall out. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to clean them. I don't do that. I don't follow
Speaker 1: the protocol, whatever protocol there is for hair, nails, face,
Speaker 1: I do, and then I hope for the same results.
Speaker 1: So I get my eyelashes done like every two and
Speaker 1: a half weeks. But yeah, I mean that's my eyelash story. Really,
Speaker 1: it helps you look a little bit more alert, especially
Speaker 1: if you're someone who's stoned all the time. And it
Speaker 1: also takes off a couple of years probably makes you
Speaker 1: look young her. So there you go. We actually get
Speaker 1: a ton of emails about your eyelashes realistically, like scary
Speaker 1: you use all that stuff. Oh you know what. The
Speaker 1: great thing about fake eyelashes is you never have to
Speaker 1: use Mescara ever, because it's already messcarat. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: wish we could call out her business. Let me just
Speaker 1: see what it's called. House of lash l a that's
Speaker 1: where my woman Amani works house of lash l A,
Speaker 1: So if you're in l A, that's a good person
Speaker 1: to go do. Oh. The other question that people ask
Speaker 1: about eyelashes is if they ruin your regular eyelashes, And
Speaker 1: the answer to that is, I have no idea because
Speaker 1: I haven't seen my regular eyelashes in a really long time.
Speaker 1: But if you didn't have eyelashes, they would have nothing
Speaker 1: to affix. The fake eyelashes too, so I've been told
Speaker 1: it doesn't cause damage, so you can take that with
Speaker 1: a grain of salt. I do our next question. We
Speaker 1: really you've very much answered in the beginning of this,
Speaker 1: but this was actually written in months ago. You talk
Speaker 1: a lot about the men you date. Do you ever
Speaker 1: date other comedians? Charlie, Well, yeah, that this is the
Speaker 1: first comedian that I've ever dated, maybe the one first one.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's not the first comedian I've ever slept with.
Speaker 1: I've slept with a couple of comedians, none of which
Speaker 1: I'm proud of. In retrospect, I think they've all been canceled.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Yeah, this is the first comedian that I've
Speaker 1: been in a relationship with. That's great. If you had
Speaker 1: to decide between comedy and humanitarianism. Which would it be
Speaker 1: and how would you pay those Hollywood bills? Christian, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, in order to be more humanitarian, it's good
Speaker 1: to have money. So I would never be able to
Speaker 1: choose between the two because being a comedian allows me
Speaker 1: to do nice things for other people. And you know,
Speaker 1: so if I was just a humanitarian, I probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: get that much ship done. I mean, my biggest value,
Speaker 1: I think is the money that I can contribute, and
Speaker 1: of course the advice I give on this podcast that's humanitarian.
Speaker 1: Our next question comes from Zoe All jokes aside. I'm
Speaker 1: curious when you will dabble with the thought of actually
Speaker 1: running for president. You have such a loud voice and
Speaker 1: advocate so well for the greater good of humanity. Well,
Speaker 1: that's very nice of you. I will not be able
Speaker 1: to survive on that salary as a president. I do
Speaker 1: not have any desire to be in political life, especially
Speaker 1: after watching what happened in the last you know, six years.
Speaker 1: I'm I am spent from politics and it's depressing. And no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to run for any sort of political
Speaker 1: office ever. Thank you. I'd like to stick my neck
Speaker 1: out and say stuff. I mean, I shouldn't say stick
Speaker 1: my neck out. It's just good to stand up and
Speaker 1: say stuff. So I find that to be very important
Speaker 1: and also something that I just would never not be
Speaker 1: okay not doing. I would never be okay not doing Alright,
Speaker 1: I'm just not making any sense at this point. You
Speaker 1: catch my drift. Yes, Okay, Well, guys, we are going
Speaker 1: to take off for this week and we will be
Speaker 1: back next week. Katherine and I will both be back
Speaker 1: with a very special guest for our first episode of
Speaker 1: season two. We will have lots of different guests for
Speaker 1: season two, people who will be helping me doll out
Speaker 1: advice depending on the subject matters. All of our episodes
Speaker 1: are going to be themed, right, Catherine. We're going to
Speaker 1: pick the subjects that kind of cluster together and find
Speaker 1: the right guests for those episodes. Some will be celebrities,
Speaker 1: some will be specialists in certain fields psychiatrists, doctors, neuroscientists,
Speaker 1: that sort of thing. But it's going to be a
Speaker 1: panoply of different ways to kind of help people get
Speaker 1: through whatever they're dealing with in their lives and your lives.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you, and if you have a question,
Speaker 1: or you and a loved one have a question. Please
Speaker 1: write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com Dear
Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Please don't be shy
Speaker 1: about writing in if you have a problem. Don't be
Speaker 1: shy about calling in, writing in with another person, whether
Speaker 1: it be a friend, a family member, a lover, boss,
Speaker 1: a co worker. I don't know your dog if he
Speaker 1: can talk. And from my Vaccinated and Horty tour. Tonight,
Speaker 1: I will be in Cincinnati, you guys. I am in
Speaker 1: Cincinnati as we speak, September thirty seven BM. I'm in
Speaker 1: Cincinnati at the Taft Theater. And then tomorrow night I'll
Speaker 1: be in Detroit, Michigan at the film Wore and Saturday
Speaker 1: night Indianapolis at the Murraut Sunday night, Grand Rapids Michigan
Speaker 1: DeVos Performance Hall. I will see everybody there. I'll see
Speaker 1: you guys soon. Talk to you next week. Bye bye,