Speaker 1: Welcome back everyone to Golden Hour. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. I'm Susan and.
Speaker 2: I'm Kathy, and I don't know we got we got.
Speaker 2: We've got things to talk about today. First of all,
Speaker 2: you're getting rain and we're not. I just want to
Speaker 2: I want to put that out there.
Speaker 1: Monsoons we are burning up over hair.
Speaker 2: It's one hundred and three today right now, one hundred,
Speaker 2: one hundred three.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's Texas. I remember I lived there.
Speaker 2: I know it's so hot. I'm ready for fall when
Speaker 2: it drops down to eighty five.
Speaker 1: I'm still enjoying summer. And everybody's talking like it's oh,
Speaker 1: it's almost over. It's early early August. Still for me,
Speaker 1: I like, I don't want it to end.
Speaker 2: You never want summer to end.
Speaker 1: I'm fellows, but I've got a lot going on, Kathy.
Speaker 1: My emotions have been way up high good to as
Speaker 1: low as you could get.
Speaker 2: Anything you want to share, well, I.
Speaker 1: Think I shared with you before. My daughter is they're
Speaker 1: starting a divorce and my grandchildren are really suffering. And
Speaker 1: anybody out there that's listening, you know what that's like.
Speaker 1: As a parent, You're only as happy as your unhappiest child.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, It's not easy. It really
Speaker 1: isn't easy. It wears on you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, here's hoping that, you know, they'll get it
Speaker 2: squared away. And because kids, I think no one's asking
Speaker 2: my opinion, but I think kids are better. I don't
Speaker 2: think you ever stay married for the kids.
Speaker 1: I don't know you shouldn't stay all right, Well, but
Speaker 1: let's get on that.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, this is your news. Now
Speaker 2: we got to get into Bachelor Nation news. So the
Speaker 2: first one is my lovely neighbors who I adore, Katie
Speaker 2: Bigger and Zach Shallcross, who I now call her Katie
Speaker 2: Shallcross just to be difficult, but they review why they
Speaker 2: haven't worn wedding rings for quite some time. And of
Speaker 2: course the it's it's it's always the story headline is
Speaker 2: always bigger than the actual story, which is they were
Speaker 2: having their rings resized and Katie has a marquee diamond.
Speaker 2: I saw it, so she got her ring on her
Speaker 2: first ring, you know, when she got engaged to Zach
Speaker 2: on the show, and then he decided to repropose to her.
Speaker 2: Much like Kate.
Speaker 1: The rest of the young ones.
Speaker 2: Kelsey and Joey just did the same thing. So he gave,
Speaker 2: of course, acted an even bigger and more beautiful ring
Speaker 2: than she got on the show. And I guess he'd
Speaker 2: had the wrong size in it, uh when he when
Speaker 2: he ordered it for her. And so I think they
Speaker 2: were in Europe when he reproposed. But I've seen the
Speaker 2: ring and it is glorious. So does he wear his? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think they were both having the resized and he
Speaker 2: was doing something different with his ring. I think he
Speaker 2: was adding something or whatever. They were just doing something
Speaker 2: a little bit different with their rings. But you know,
Speaker 2: if anybody thinks that these two are not happily married,
Speaker 2: they moved into their new home. I'm trying to We're
Speaker 2: trying to get a date together where they can come
Speaker 2: over for dinner because you know, we live in the
Speaker 2: same town. But they're talking about starting a family. I mean,
Speaker 2: they're gonna have a lot of great news this year.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, we should have such a problem that
Speaker 1: our rings are being sized, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can tell you I've had my ring sized
Speaker 2: twice and it always goes bigger for my arthreadic nasty
Speaker 2: little fingers. What else what else we got going on? Oh?
Speaker 1: Wait, now you know We had Juliana on our podcast
Speaker 1: just a little bit ago, and I know we were
Speaker 1: digging is there something going on with that relationship with Mike?
Speaker 1: Are you engaged? She would not tell Boom headlines. Yeah, confirmed, confirmed,
Speaker 1: wedding place, admit ongoing engagement rumors. And it's so funny
Speaker 1: to hear her talk. She's saying like Mike is going
Speaker 1: to be the bridezilla, not her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he does special he's as a special event planner,
Speaker 2: so he will be. But here's here's I have to
Speaker 2: tell you know, sometimes I'm a little bit of a sleuth. Juliana.
Speaker 2: By the way, Juliana, I think we've said this a
Speaker 2: million times. She grew up in my hometown. My sister
Speaker 2: knows her uncle. Juliana, when you're listening to this, you've
Speaker 2: never gotten back to me about your uncle. But whatever.
Speaker 2: She posted a picture the other day in address and
Speaker 2: she was twirling using like carousel and I may or
Speaker 2: may not have stopped the video and there's a ring
Speaker 2: on her left hand.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, no no.
Speaker 2: Do you remember she wouldn't say she asked, she wouldn't
Speaker 2: tell us. Yeah, Well, I think she is engaged, and
Speaker 2: Juliana I'm calling you out. If you don't want people
Speaker 2: to know, don't do videos of yourself with that ring
Speaker 2: show on your hand. But I love that she said,
Speaker 2: I plan to bring you all along for the wedding
Speaker 2: ideas that may not be typical. And I love that
Speaker 2: because you know, if you're an event planner, that's your
Speaker 2: job to make every event special.
Speaker 1: And and he's in it to win. It's his own wedding.
Speaker 1: You know, everything is going to be special.
Speaker 2: I don't know where they're going to get married, but
Speaker 2: I can tell you she comes from a huge family
Speaker 2: and they'll all be their big Italian family.
Speaker 1: That's going to be a fun wedding, Kathy. So yeah,
Speaker 1: the one I'm bringing you two at the end of
Speaker 1: this month is not Italian, so you can't even judge.
Speaker 1: Will there be cocktails, There'll be plenty.
Speaker 2: It'll be fun, It'll be a blast. And who knows,
Speaker 2: mister Wright, maybe they're waiting for me. And Okay, our
Speaker 2: last story we have, Debbie. Okay, this, I have so
Speaker 2: much to say about this. Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, shame, shame, shame.
Speaker 2: Debbie Seabirds reveals she almost got catfished in a dating
Speaker 2: scam and she's telling people to be aware.
Speaker 1: Wait, Paul, one second pause, Yeah, the words almost.
Speaker 2: Yeah, almost, no, no, no. I'm struggling with the fact
Speaker 2: she even got you know, he the guy even got
Speaker 2: ten seconds into it. Debbie, let me first say to you.
Speaker 2: I've told everyone on this podcast. I'm gonna say it again.
Speaker 2: Never give a guy your phone number, anything that's traceable.
Speaker 2: Get yourself a Google phone number. If and WhatsApp, you see,
Speaker 2: my friend is attached to your phone number, So once
Speaker 2: you give that, he can trace you. If you use
Speaker 2: anything other than a Google phone number, you are traceable.
Speaker 1: So you real ask Kathy, you're one of very few
Speaker 1: that use a Google.
Speaker 2: Well, guess what. I've never been catfished. I've never had
Speaker 2: a guy ask me for money.
Speaker 1: Even having your phone number doesn't mean that they're not
Speaker 1: going to do that. You're just lucky you didn't stay
Speaker 1: online for years and years and a year.
Speaker 2: Listen. She said that he wanted to take it to telegram.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means, but here's just
Speaker 2: what she wrote. I don't know what she meant. She said,
Speaker 2: WhatsApp and telegram. The only thing I get to give
Speaker 2: telegram is to telegraph him some money, but there was
Speaker 2: she said, there was only one picture of him. Come on, Debbie,
Speaker 2: I love you, you're beautiful and you're smart. One picture
Speaker 2: in Italy and you and she goes and he was
Speaker 2: so good looking, which I'm sorry, Susan.
Speaker 1: I'm hard to get every time.
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't. It never gets me and anyone if
Speaker 2: you are almost catfished by a guy who has one
Speaker 2: picture who's asking you to go on to a different app,
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, he's so good looking. I'm sure
Speaker 2: he's a nice guy. I'm sorry, wake up and smell
Speaker 2: the copper.
Speaker 1: Said flag. Let's switch to this so we can chat.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, exactly and so and.
Speaker 1: Debbie wasn't used to being like she didn't know any better.
Speaker 2: I understand. But here's the thing for me. We are
Speaker 2: of an age where we are responsible for our own
Speaker 2: safety at this point. You know, we don't particularly we
Speaker 2: don't have men, you know, walking blocking the sidewalk for us.
Speaker 2: We are responsible for own safety. If something doesn't smell
Speaker 2: right on the internet, like, hey, can we take this
Speaker 2: on a different platform? Chat right there? Debbie almost catfish
Speaker 2: it would have been cyonara, good bye, see you. And
Speaker 2: in fact, I have a little story that I wasn't
Speaker 2: planning on telling, but I'm going to. I had a
Speaker 2: guy reach out to me. I think I told you this, Susan,
Speaker 2: but this goes along with this. I had a guy
Speaker 2: reach out to me a few weeks ago on Facebook.
Speaker 2: We had some mutual friends, and all his pictures I
Speaker 2: verified him he was right. But we were talking and
Speaker 2: he wanted to go on, you know, on a different
Speaker 2: like to my phone. I said, no, no, we're good here.
Speaker 2: Let's just chat for a little bit longer and then
Speaker 2: I'll give you my phone number. Literally. The next time
Speaker 2: we chatted, maybe the third time, he asked me what
Speaker 2: I would wearing.
Speaker 1: Ew wait, wait.
Speaker 2: I burst out laughing. I texted back, just for giggles,
Speaker 2: tell me why you're asking. I'd love to know. And
Speaker 2: he said, because I haven't heard your voice yet, and
Speaker 2: I kind of want to put a vision of face
Speaker 2: and I look, and I wrote back, you have a face.
Speaker 2: All the pictures are on Facebook. And then you know
Speaker 2: what I did, block and delete so that I wasn't
Speaker 2: almost catfished, like when something doesn't seem right, it's not
Speaker 2: we are responsible.
Speaker 1: Maybe just maybe you're smarter than the average bear.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, Okay, well this is my pso.
Speaker 1: Online and try to date and they get caught up
Speaker 1: for a second in a nice picture. She's not thinking.
Speaker 2: Boom, start thinking.
Speaker 1: It just goes right down that rabbit hole.
Speaker 2: I hear you, but I'm saying, Susan, this is the
Speaker 2: PSA for today. We as women, as single women, as
Speaker 2: adult women, we're at a certain station in life. There's
Speaker 2: people out there. I get texts all the time from
Speaker 2: thirty forty year olds saying, Oh, you're beautiful. I'd love
Speaker 2: to have a relationship with you. Know what I do.
Speaker 2: I don't answer them. I block them. It's we are responsible.
Speaker 2: So if there's one picture of a guy and they're
Speaker 2: usually a little hazy because they've taken that picture of
Speaker 2: they've hijacked that picture from, you know, a different site.
Speaker 2: It is. It is up to us to not quote
Speaker 2: go down a rabbit hole and say, oh, but he
Speaker 2: was so good looking, Debbie, I love you. Call me.
Speaker 2: I'll give you some other safety tips.
Speaker 1: I think twice before it, just pause before you react.
Speaker 1: And you know what, a lot of us have been
Speaker 1: on these and that's the way of the world. But
Speaker 1: isn't it a shame isn't it a shame that there's
Speaker 1: that many ugly people out there that do things like this?
Speaker 2: Susan, The list is very long. It's the list is
Speaker 2: very long of things that are a shame. The irs
Speaker 2: wants their money every year. I got to pay real
Speaker 2: estate taxes. I got to get my car oil change.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of sad things.
Speaker 1: That check today for the school taxes that killed me.
Speaker 2: Along, let's move on.
Speaker 1: Good one for you. Has anybody ever I wish I
Speaker 1: could played hard to get? You know what they say
Speaker 1: in the rule of rules, you know, just pause, make
Speaker 1: them chase you. I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1: I never did, But that's what we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about today, playing hard to get.
Speaker 2: Well wait a second. First, let me ask you, I
Speaker 2: know the answer. Have you ever played hard to get? No?
Speaker 2: She said, defenditively. No, Ever, I said not the last Okay,
Speaker 2: So I played hard to get when I was younger,
Speaker 2: and you know it was how.
Speaker 1: Young high school? No?
Speaker 2: In high school? Well, you know, I had a couple
Speaker 2: of boyfriends in high school and I played hard to get.
Speaker 1: How did you play hard to get?
Speaker 2: What? I just you know, like they would call me.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't answer that kind of stuff, say, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: I was busy. I was. I had more game then
Speaker 2: than I do now.
Speaker 1: Forgot to let me. Let me stop you for a second.
Speaker 1: And you said that because you really weren't interested in them.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I really was interested. But I really was interested.
Speaker 2: But when we when I was younger, people always said,
Speaker 2: you know, play hard to get. You'll get the guy
Speaker 2: if you do. Now we've got all these things like
Speaker 2: three day rule, don't call him back for three days,
Speaker 2: don't answer the text. Well, let me say to you,
Speaker 2: I got a lecture from my daughter. Uh. The other day,
Speaker 2: a guy that I had seen a few times came
Speaker 2: down ill and I said, I we just were texting.
Speaker 2: He said he was ill. He was canceling something and
Speaker 2: I said, oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Can
Speaker 2: I bring you some soup or something? I can just
Speaker 2: leave it. My daughter went had apoplexy. She goes, mom,
Speaker 2: he has not earned the right for you to take
Speaker 2: care of him. And I said to my daughter, Caitlin,
Speaker 2: I'm a nice person. I bring soup to friends.
Speaker 1: Nice gesture.
Speaker 2: Well I got I took hell for it. She said,
Speaker 2: Now you're and you know what she might be right.
Speaker 2: I haven't heard from him since then, so who knows.
Speaker 2: But I I think that I hate playing games. And
Speaker 2: some people say, oh, you know it, it adds mystery,
Speaker 2: it makes you look more mysterious if you if you
Speaker 2: do that, I might want.
Speaker 1: To come across too available, and blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Just say oh no, I can't. I'm busy, but I
Speaker 1: can maybe next week or something. I never understood it,
Speaker 1: because why would I put that off if I am interested?
Speaker 1: To me, that's a game.
Speaker 2: And I don't know. But I was talking to him
Speaker 2: with you. I don't either, but it hasn't worked well
Speaker 2: for me recently. I was talking to k about it,
Speaker 2: my good buddy c K. And he was like, Kathy,
Speaker 2: you got to play the game. You got to play the.
Speaker 1: Game, he says. And that's a man saying he did.
Speaker 2: And then he's but then he told me he doesn't
Speaker 2: play games. I was like, uh, you're sending mixed messages here,
Speaker 2: c K. I don't know. All I know is that
Speaker 2: if the men that have been really interested in me,
Speaker 2: it didn't matter if I didn't answer the phone or
Speaker 2: texted right back. They were really interested and and.
Speaker 1: If you get a text, do you like make them
Speaker 1: wait a little?
Speaker 2: A little? I don't answer right that, but but it
Speaker 2: is my question. Yes, but even an hour or two,
Speaker 2: but not I don't wait two or three days. Here's
Speaker 2: my philosophy on playing hard to get. I think that
Speaker 2: if the guy is into you, the games don't matter.
Speaker 2: If he's not that into you, then you can try
Speaker 2: playing games, but he's just not into you, and and
Speaker 2: the roles the same thing, if that's I'm telling you
Speaker 2: and are singing the same song. I think that when
Speaker 2: you're younger and you're first learning how to date. You know,
Speaker 2: when we were in the in the sixties and said,
Speaker 2: you know, when we were kids and we were dating,
Speaker 2: I think then it was learning how to date. And
Speaker 2: I think then you wanted to be seen as really special.
Speaker 2: You wanted that guy. I think. I think that's if
Speaker 2: you will the school of dating that we all went through.
Speaker 1: Well, do I think some of some of it's mysterious
Speaker 1: or they're playing.
Speaker 2: I I'm I'm about as mysterious as a lead pipe.
Speaker 2: So I have no idea. But I do think some
Speaker 2: women I've known, they say that, they'll say, you know,
Speaker 2: I want I want to be a little mysterious. I
Speaker 2: want to be a little bit. You know, they're not
Speaker 2: sure what's coming. They have to it's keep them guessing,
Speaker 2: keep them on there.
Speaker 1: I read the books. They all say to do it. So,
Speaker 1: so how about what if you go on a date
Speaker 1: and the man does not reach out for three days?
Speaker 1: Do you think that's too long after going out?
Speaker 2: So this happened to me and I said to the guy.
Speaker 1: You will kick him right to the curve. You haven't
Speaker 1: heard from.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't came to the curb. But when we
Speaker 2: had our second date, I said, I was surprised to
Speaker 2: hear from you. And he said what I said, I
Speaker 2: didn't hear from you for like four days after our date,
Speaker 2: And he goes, oh god, no, it's just so busy working.
Speaker 2: I had a great time and we had a great
Speaker 2: second date. Now I haven't heard from again.
Speaker 1: So but are you feeling weren't you feeling that insecure
Speaker 1: kind of moment? Like, oh I thought we had a
Speaker 1: good time.
Speaker 2: I really, it wasn't insecurity. It was not in security, Susan.
Speaker 2: I felt like WTF. It was like WTF, Like you know,
Speaker 2: you said again, I'm gonna have this tattooed on my
Speaker 2: forehead next week. Watch what a man does, don't listen
Speaker 2: to what he says. And I and so you know,
Speaker 2: this guy can tell me all day long, how pretty
Speaker 2: I am, how interesting I am, how much funny he has,
Speaker 2: bad bah blah. But if you're not hearing from him,
Speaker 2: if he's not you know, if taking out the trash
Speaker 2: is taking up his time more than sending me a text.
Speaker 1: All you you answered, and you went on a second date.
Speaker 1: That was three days. You waited, so right, But I'm saying,
Speaker 1: what's your limit?
Speaker 2: Uh? You know, honestly, I can tell you I'm but
Speaker 2: I know I'm not hard. I know I come across
Speaker 2: as a hard tough woman. I'm not. I'm a realist.
Speaker 2: It's why I have a Google phone number. I don't
Speaker 2: mess around deal with you.
Speaker 1: Hard and tough. Yes you are.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not. I'm not I look that way. I'm
Speaker 2: a I'm a I'm a if I care about someone,
Speaker 2: a guy.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I'm jelly in his hands.
Speaker 2: Of course, Well.
Speaker 1: Three days and you're usually you as you said you were,
Speaker 1: WTF and and then boom he calls.
Speaker 2: Or no, I'm I WTF because his actions belied his word.
Speaker 2: His words were, oh my gosh, you're wonderful, You're beautiful,
Speaker 2: but you're so smart. I have a dated woman is smart?
Speaker 2: D oh really, because, like I said, you must be
Speaker 2: having a great time watching the grass grow or backwashing
Speaker 2: your swimming pool because you haven't been reaching out to me.
Speaker 1: And he said that to him.
Speaker 2: No, because here's what happens to me. I'm very different
Speaker 2: from you, Susan, and I don't know, like my standard
Speaker 2: for me, not for everyone. I am very intentional about
Speaker 2: what I say and do. So if he yes, So
Speaker 2: if he reaches back out to me, I'll wait the
Speaker 2: same couple hours, i happen to be going out of
Speaker 2: town and I'm going to say, oh sorry, I'm going
Speaker 2: to be out of town for the week. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to say but I'll be back next whatever. In
Speaker 2: other words, I start building up the fence. I was open, wait,
Speaker 2: let me finish. My heart was open. Now I'm not
Speaker 2: sure I can trust you. So now if you're you
Speaker 2: got to earn it back. And he probably doesn't want to,
Speaker 2: and that's fine.
Speaker 1: Now for me, say I'm going to reverse the role. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: say somebody's doing that to me, and that's how he
Speaker 1: answered me if I was asking and he didn't leave
Speaker 1: it open that but I will be back da da dad.
Speaker 1: That would give me Okay, well, maybe we'll do it
Speaker 1: when you get back, but when you get it out
Speaker 1: like that, and just I'm going to be out of
Speaker 1: town this week, that sounds to me. And I know
Speaker 1: we shouldn't assume, but that would be My first thought
Speaker 1: would be, well he's not interested.
Speaker 2: Well fair enough. I could say, yeah, okay, I could say, oh, sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be out of town this week, but
Speaker 2: can you know, but next week I have a few
Speaker 2: open days something like that. I'll be What I'm not
Speaker 2: going to say is I'll be back at six o'clock
Speaker 2: on Sunday night and I'm available Monday.
Speaker 1: At noon pick me up.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, And I you know people say if you're
Speaker 2: too available and you know you're too eager, you hurt
Speaker 2: your chances to get the guy. That may it. Well,
Speaker 2: I got to say to you, if it's true, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to get the guy, and I'm okay with
Speaker 2: it because I'm not Susan. It's the same reason I
Speaker 2: don't lie about my age or how my husband died,
Speaker 2: I don't lie because if you lie about that, what
Speaker 2: else are you going to lie about it?
Speaker 1: And so do you think back in the day, like
Speaker 1: when people did it then and we heard all those sayings,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're too available, they think you don't
Speaker 1: have a life or you don't have anything else going on.
Speaker 1: People would say, no, I had to wash my hair,
Speaker 1: like are you serious?
Speaker 2: Oh no, that used to be a thing, my sister.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I mean, I will tell you I had two sisters
Speaker 2: that were very popular in high school and they literally
Speaker 2: they just ran through those guys and they did that
Speaker 2: kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, they just were like, well, I think they something.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry at our age, Susan, if we're going to
Speaker 2: flip our hair when you can't. But you know, I'm
Speaker 2: going to play.
Speaker 1: Hard to get at sixty nine years old. There adress
Speaker 1: it all together.
Speaker 2: I you know, like I said, my daughter said, Mom,
Speaker 2: you're being too interested. You should look less interested. And
Speaker 2: I said to Caitlin, I, first of all, I'm as
Speaker 2: you well know, I am very picky about who I'll
Speaker 2: go out with because I don't waste time. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm not dating guys on the internet who addressed in
Speaker 2: the United States naval uniforms, pretending that he lives in
Speaker 2: Italy for that. Yeah, I'm not doing that. And so
Speaker 2: if if pretending, if I can't be myself, if I
Speaker 2: can't show someone I'm interested and have them not run away,
Speaker 2: well then he's not. He's not meant for me. But
Speaker 2: you see, I'm secure in who I am, and I
Speaker 2: think you are as well. I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't play that game. Yes, and I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm interested. I'm all in. I'm interested, right,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. I'm going to tell the truth.
Speaker 1: I'm busy. Yeah, I played the game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess. I guess. For me. The weird thing
Speaker 2: has been the guys that have been really interested in me.
Speaker 2: And I thought this guy really was the vibe was
Speaker 2: he he was? It didn't matter if I answered the
Speaker 2: phone or didn't answer the phone. They were calling an
Speaker 2: hour later, Hey are you okay? You didn't pick up
Speaker 2: like they were chasing me. Whether I answered the phone
Speaker 2: or didn't answer the phone, they called me the next morning,
Speaker 2: they would text. It was like they were all.
Speaker 1: In quickly and it didn't matter be But I call
Speaker 1: that being real and what I read and what I
Speaker 1: hear today in the world. You can't. You shouldn't be real.
Speaker 1: You should be so little mysterious, make them wonder, make
Speaker 1: them want you.
Speaker 2: Like okay, So what's the most important, Susan being real,
Speaker 2: being confident, being mysterious.
Speaker 1: Confident and real.
Speaker 2: I mean, I agree with you, but you know here
Speaker 2: we sit.
Speaker 1: So let's try it a different way.
Speaker 2: So I think we should be mysterious, not answer the
Speaker 2: phone for you know, ten days.
Speaker 1: Do you know, Kathy, I gotta tell you a story.
Speaker 2: This is good.
Speaker 1: I tried. I tried. I read all these books, I
Speaker 1: listened to all my friends. Don't be so available. When
Speaker 1: I would have a phone number, and I would really like,
Speaker 1: we went out a couple times, and then he wouldn't
Speaker 1: call for a little bit, and I was so anxious
Speaker 1: I wanted to text it. I would delete their number.
Speaker 1: I would give it to my cousin and say you
Speaker 1: hold it in case I ever need it. But I
Speaker 1: didn't trust myself because when I think about somebody that
Speaker 1: I like, I'm going to text them. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to say hey, I'm thinking about you or whatever. So
Speaker 1: I would delete the number to try to play this mistakes.
Speaker 2: Okay, So wait, the guy that we're talking about with
Speaker 2: me where I've not heard from him, you would reach
Speaker 2: out again and text him and say hey or whatever if.
Speaker 1: You would really had a good time and you thought
Speaker 1: there could be some thing between you. He reached out
Speaker 1: the first two times, yes, I would.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, after he said he was sick, and yes.
Speaker 1: And I would have checked up on him the following
Speaker 1: day and said, how you feeling are you? Oh?
Speaker 2: No, uh no? To me, I think my daughter would
Speaker 2: have decapitated me if I don't.
Speaker 1: I know you're thoughtful, but to me that I would think, well,
Speaker 1: she don't even care. If you told somebody you were
Speaker 1: sick and you couldn't go whatever, and they text you
Speaker 1: the next day, just check it in and see how
Speaker 1: you feel like I do with you or you doing
Speaker 1: with me. That is thought. That's nice.
Speaker 2: I don't disagree it's thoughtful. I just don't think people.
Speaker 2: I don't think it necessarily means anything to him or
Speaker 2: to some men. And I will tell you back, I
Speaker 2: am assuming, but what I what the last text was
Speaker 2: when I offered to bring him something, he said, no,
Speaker 2: I'm good, thanks so much. I'll let you know if
Speaker 2: I need something that told me leave it alone.
Speaker 1: Well, he didn't need anything, but you could just check
Speaker 1: in and to me checking in to see hey, just
Speaker 1: check it in and see how you're feeling. I hope
Speaker 1: you're feeling better. That is not more than a caring individual.
Speaker 2: Listen, I agree, But I unless he was dead, god forbid,
Speaker 2: and and he's and he's recuperated, I haven't heard from him.
Speaker 2: And I'm a very logical person, So I think about
Speaker 2: his intentions. His intentions were either just to go out
Speaker 2: and have a couple of dates, or he's got a
Speaker 2: stable of him, you know, of women, and I'm I'm
Speaker 2: in the next round. You know, my number hasn't come
Speaker 2: back up again yet, or he's not interested because if
Speaker 2: he's well, if he's better, if he would have reached out.
Speaker 1: How long is it passed? The three days since then?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, and and so and so I'm okay,
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a
Speaker 2: little surprised based on what he said. But you know,
Speaker 2: I read these things that say women they play hard
Speaker 2: to get. They they set these you know, traps for
Speaker 2: men to try to coax them into calling them or
Speaker 2: or getting another date with them. And I'm like, what
Speaker 2: that sounds like a lot of work for nothing. But
Speaker 2: but here's what I really truly believe. Here's what I
Speaker 2: truly believe. Women will go. I don't understand. I don't
Speaker 2: understand what happened. We had such a great time, Ladies,
Speaker 2: don't overthink it. He's just not that into you. And
Speaker 2: I'm saying that to myself too. There's nothing happened. That's
Speaker 2: the point. Nothing happening. You know what it may be,
Speaker 2: But I think that it's gonna serve me better believing
Speaker 2: that way. And believe me, if I hear from him,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna there's not gonna be any retribution. Wow,
Speaker 2: I'm not going.
Speaker 1: Out with you because I chase a guy.
Speaker 2: Oh just not really. I never had to chase a guy.
Speaker 2: Just one guy, the guy that my love of my
Speaker 2: life in high school. I I after we broke up,
Speaker 2: I was really I kept breaking up with him and
Speaker 2: he kept taking me back. I was an idiot, and
Speaker 2: and then he didn't take me back, and then then
Speaker 2: it was the chase was on to get him. That's
Speaker 2: when I learned my lesson. See that was like I
Speaker 2: was gonna make him work. You know, that's just that's
Speaker 2: what I mean about high school stuff. You know. All right,
Speaker 2: I can't handle this dating talk anymore. I want to
Speaker 2: move on. We are going to do our Golden hotline, which,
Speaker 2: if you loved Susan's in my opinion on playing hard
Speaker 2: to get, you're gonna love our expert golden advice Today.
Speaker 1: I want to know how many out there really do
Speaker 1: the hard to get game. If you do, could just
Speaker 1: send me some notes?
Speaker 2: Yes, you know what, text email it we always say,
Speaker 2: you know, reach out on Bachelor Nation dot com slash
Speaker 2: Golden Hour. That's what we want you to do.
Speaker 1: We want to hear, but write to us like I
Speaker 1: want the tips. I want to know how to do it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to spell it out for me, black
Speaker 1: and white for me to try us. And if it fails,
Speaker 1: I'm going to hate you for it.
Speaker 2: And so if Susan plays hard to get, I'm here
Speaker 2: to tell you I'm going to make homemade French dinner
Speaker 2: for everyone in the world and I don't. All right,
Speaker 2: go on, let's do the first question.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to our first one. This is
Speaker 1: from Katie from Portland. Hi, ladies, I met the most
Speaker 1: amazing man last year, and I've honestly never felt this
Speaker 1: compatible with someone before. We have the same sense of humor,
Speaker 1: the same values, and we genuinely make each other happy.
Speaker 1: That's so nice. The only issue is that he absolutely
Speaker 1: wants children, and I don't think I do. We keep
Speaker 1: hoping one of us will change our mind, but neither
Speaker 1: of us have. We love each other enough that neither
Speaker 1: one of us wants to walk away, but we're also
Speaker 1: scared we're delaying the inevitable. Is love enough when your
Speaker 1: future goals don't line up? That's a big one.
Speaker 2: No, this is so easy, This is so easy. If
Speaker 2: hell so, it's two again, I don't to me, this
Speaker 2: answer just comes right to my brain. Katie. If your
Speaker 2: boyfriend wants children, and he knows he wants children, and
Speaker 2: you know you don't, you have two choices. You can
Speaker 2: have one and resent the fact that you had when
Speaker 2: when you didn't want one, or you or and or
Speaker 2: you could get married hoping you'll change your mind, or
Speaker 2: stick with him hoping you change your mind. Here's the problem.
Speaker 2: If you don't change your mind, your core values are
Speaker 2: never going to line up. That is, family values are
Speaker 2: not going to align with your boyfriend. So when you
Speaker 2: say we're scared, we're delaying the inevitable, you're already telling
Speaker 2: me that the inevitable means you are prepared to walk away,
Speaker 2: or he is, or you both are. So if you
Speaker 2: are that adamant, if you're that rigid, if you are
Speaker 2: so resolute in the fact that you do not want children,
Speaker 2: then let them go, because that's not fair to a
Speaker 2: man who wants to have children. Let him go. It
Speaker 2: is if it is the inevitable, because you're not going
Speaker 2: to change your mind, let them go. What do you
Speaker 2: think for me?
Speaker 1: When I read it? She said, She don't think that.
Speaker 1: She doesn't sound one hundred percent that relationship sounds so perfect.
Speaker 1: But it's once again the C word, the communication word.
Speaker 1: You have to have the down to the nitty gritty
Speaker 1: bear I have. What if we get married and we're
Speaker 1: loving our life and I decide there's no way, will
Speaker 1: you resent me? Will you want to end that?
Speaker 2: I don't think you can know that. I don't think
Speaker 2: you can know that. I think someone, she said, I
Speaker 2: don't think I do. But that's just we keep hoping.
Speaker 2: But here's what happens. We keep hoping one of us
Speaker 2: will change our mind, but we haven't sure the possibility
Speaker 2: is there that one of you will change your mind.
Speaker 2: So keep dating and see if being a mother grows
Speaker 2: on you.
Speaker 1: But a lot of women know for a fact that
Speaker 1: they don't want children period. Yeah, and I.
Speaker 2: Mean so do I. But I also respect the fact
Speaker 2: that that the man does. I think it is more
Speaker 2: likely that you, Katie, may change your mind. When a
Speaker 2: guy wants kids, he wants kids, and so I would
Speaker 2: encourage you. I don't know how old you are, but
Speaker 2: you know, if you're in your thirties and he's in
Speaker 2: his thirties, he's going to want a family and he
Speaker 2: can't date you and have a family. So you know,
Speaker 2: that's one of those hard things. I love you. Like
Speaker 2: we talked about in another podcast, love is not enough, Katie.
Speaker 2: If your values don't align, it's not likely going to
Speaker 2: be a good marriage.
Speaker 1: And a lot of times, Kathy, it's the men that
Speaker 1: decide they don't want children and women, you know, they
Speaker 1: do it the dirty way they get pregnant. Anyhow. You know,
Speaker 1: it's something that's big. It is big, and you know what,
Speaker 1: You're right, Katie to ask that question. And I really
Speaker 1: think you should really talk a lot about it and
Speaker 1: do some self searching. Yeah, and you know about it.
Speaker 1: Then you got to be straight with them.
Speaker 2: You got to be straight, and that means letting him
Speaker 2: go so he can find the woman that wants to
Speaker 2: have a family with him. It's a hard thing, but
Speaker 2: that's goals. That's when you. We talked on another podcast,
Speaker 2: Susan about is love enough and you said yes, it isn't.
Speaker 2: I said, no, it isn't. And this is a perfect
Speaker 2: example when love is not enough. I truly believe that
Speaker 2: Katie and her boyfriend love each other, but the resentment
Speaker 2: will grow. He will want a family, so let us know.
Speaker 1: Goode so bad, don't have multiples.
Speaker 2: I can't believe you just told a woman who doesn't
Speaker 2: want children to have children. I'm moving on.
Speaker 1: Okay, they sound so perfect together.
Speaker 2: And yeah, Katie, when you have it and you're not
Speaker 2: real happy having it, send it to Susan because she
Speaker 2: loves at sixty nine, she'd love to raise another child.
Speaker 2: I mean, why not, it's only one Katie?
Speaker 1: Good luck, honey.
Speaker 2: All right, this next question, oh, this is from an
Speaker 2: anonymous We love anonymous questions. Yep, Okay, I've been seeing
Speaker 2: someone for about six months. The only thing that makes
Speaker 2: me uncomfortable is how often he talks to the girl
Speaker 2: before me. He insists they're just friends now and that
Speaker 2: there's absolutely nothing romantic left between them. Would this bother
Speaker 2: you too, bother me? Bother me anonymous?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, bother me, he would.
Speaker 2: It would be deleted, she'd be gone out of his
Speaker 2: out of his contacts. Or I would say, hey, listen,
Speaker 2: you know what, I think you might want to reconsider
Speaker 2: getting engaged. Re engaged to her. I wouldn't put up
Speaker 2: with that for five minutes.
Speaker 1: Ask me where I really you can't let go? I mean,
Speaker 1: you have to talk to them every week. I wonder
Speaker 1: who broke up with, who ended the engagement?
Speaker 2: And do you think I care I would, I could
Speaker 2: care less. I mean this comes under the category of
Speaker 2: when something smells like a dog, looks like a dog,
Speaker 2: a dog, it's a dog.
Speaker 1: And she says it makes me uncomfortable. It would miss
Speaker 1: me off, okay, forget uncomfortable. That would just piss me.
Speaker 2: But you know what, here's the thing that I think
Speaker 2: a lot of women in relationships. You know, she thinks
Speaker 2: he could be the one, so she's trying to play the.
Speaker 1: Dog tries hard.
Speaker 2: This This is called a boundary, and it's a healthy
Speaker 2: boundary to set. And so don't don't sit there saying
Speaker 2: am I being insecure?
Speaker 1: Insecure? If they ran into each other and he was
Speaker 1: nice to her and they chat it for a minute
Speaker 1: or that that I get. That's insecurity that you can't
Speaker 1: stand one time. But this is going on weekly. They
Speaker 1: just hang out and text each other.
Speaker 2: No, okay, he's gonna be or I'm a hard nosed bitch.
Speaker 2: I really I'm hard. That would not make me insecure
Speaker 2: at all. I'd be sitting there going, I'm a queen.
Speaker 2: I'm a queen. I have a friend who says to me,
Speaker 2: climb to the top of the mountain and stand there
Speaker 2: and wait for the guy to come to you. Don't
Speaker 2: don't be. Don't be, you know, don't be repelling down
Speaker 2: the mountain, lowering your standards. This girl, honey, you do
Speaker 2: not need to be insecure about one little thing. What
Speaker 2: he's doing is bad behavior. And I wouldn't put up
Speaker 2: with it for two seconds, not even two seconds.
Speaker 1: So maybe she thinks he could be the one. Does
Speaker 1: he I mean, does he think it? Oh that's a
Speaker 1: great he still talk I don't know about that. Well,
Speaker 1: by the way, Anonymous, just don't.
Speaker 2: Okay, Let let me say one other thing. You're absolutely right, Susan,
Speaker 2: we don't know if he thinks she's the one. The
Speaker 2: other thing is, uh, they've only been dating for six
Speaker 2: months months, And what do I tell you, Susan, The
Speaker 2: first six months of dating. This is Kathy's rule. The
Speaker 2: first six months of dating anybody is the honeymoon. Everything
Speaker 2: is wonderful. He doesn't burp, he puts his socks in
Speaker 2: the hamper, the sex is great, he brings your flowers.
Speaker 2: That's for the first six months. Never usually never a fight.
Speaker 2: Between six and eighteen months is when the real person
Speaker 2: starts to show who he or she is. Look at
Speaker 2: this guy at eighteen months. At eighteen months, and Susan,
Speaker 2: you can dodge for this, can't you. At eighteen months
Speaker 2: what you see is what you get. So if you
Speaker 2: don't like what you.
Speaker 1: See, it sixty months proof. I am living through it
Speaker 1: as you speak, and that will take up on yet
Speaker 1: another podcast.
Speaker 2: So that's so that you know, that's my advice to you.
Speaker 2: You Russian things. At six months, you can't possibly know
Speaker 2: if he's the one.
Speaker 1: No, you can't though I love this part where girls
Speaker 1: google it, I actually understand this week.
Speaker 2: I love it. All I can say is I love
Speaker 2: answering these questions. I know I seem hard sometimes, but
Speaker 2: I think you and I do give pretty darn good
Speaker 2: golden advice. So if you want some of our advice,
Speaker 2: please please opinions, questions, thoughts send them all to Bachelor
Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour. We really want to
Speaker 2: hear from you.
Speaker 1: Remember I told you I actually know some of them
Speaker 1: under I understand the gals google it now.
Speaker 2: Oh you're kidding. Wait, this is the world's coming to
Speaker 2: a first one. Okay. The first one is a body tea,
Speaker 2: and that means a physically attractive, fit or sexy body.
Speaker 2: It's used as a direct compliment to say someone's body
Speaker 2: looks amazing. So like her body tea. That's a short
Speaker 2: way of saying her body is tea, using tea to
Speaker 2: mean hot or good looking. Now, I'm just gonna go
Speaker 2: out on a limb here and say, I have never
Speaker 2: heard anyone talk about my body tea. The only tea
Speaker 2: that they're talking about with me is English morning breakfast tea.
Speaker 2: That's English breakfast teath. I mean seriously, a body tea.
Speaker 1: I mean they use that words. Build the tea, Give
Speaker 1: me the tea, Give me the tea. That sounds like
Speaker 1: some of the ones we've had of the time I've
Speaker 1: questioned you, like, please explain it. The next one is snatched.
Speaker 1: Now that even sounds like, yeah, she's hot, she's got
Speaker 1: it together. That outphit looks so good, right right? Snatch
Speaker 1: being very stylish, attractive, or on point, similar to saying
Speaker 1: an outphit or makeup looks flawless.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have I've heard it used. I heard that
Speaker 2: word meaning something else when we were younger. Well, body
Speaker 2: part for women snatch, yep, no, without.
Speaker 1: Past tense snatched of course.
Speaker 2: Well it just shows you how pop culture is changing,
Speaker 2: isn't it.
Speaker 1: Well, like sharp features like a sharp lifted face, or
Speaker 1: the makeup you know, and the makeup artists do us
Speaker 1: and we feel like supermodels. And have you snatched?
Speaker 2: Have you ever ever said to me, Kathy, you look snatched? Never?
Speaker 1: I would vomit if you didn't know, but I was.
Speaker 1: If I'm Fashion Week or Milan then Paris Fashion Week,
Speaker 1: I say, damn, can use it. But we're old. We
Speaker 1: don't use those words.
Speaker 2: I'm say a minute, I have a sharp I have
Speaker 2: a good jaw line sharp.
Speaker 1: You and your daughter both I'm the same exact.
Speaker 2: So I'm snatched. I'm gonna stay with that. You know.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, pictures of me and I could say
Speaker 1: I was snatched for that moment.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: It was a good angle. It was in the in
Speaker 1: the moment, photographer.
Speaker 2: Here's what I'm going to say to you, it's it's
Speaker 2: so hard to learn these words, to spend the time
Speaker 2: learning them, you know why, because tomorrow they're gonna be
Speaker 2: different to.
Speaker 1: Not even learning them. I won't probably use them, but
Speaker 1: if I hear them, at least i'll know what the
Speaker 1: hell they're talking about. I won't seem like.
Speaker 2: I want to know who comes up with them. Seriously, Jesus,
Speaker 2: I always come back to the movie clueless, isn't it?
Speaker 2: You know? That's not a word? Whatever, fetch fetch, that's
Speaker 2: that's not a thing.
Speaker 1: Like that's when the doll got the ball.
Speaker 2: Right, exactly, go fetch the ball. It wasn't fat but that.
Speaker 2: I love that line in the movie because I'm always like.
Speaker 1: Who, I'm going to stop you?
Speaker 2: Who is mean?
Speaker 1: Girls?
Speaker 2: Damn it? I know it was me and girls. Remember
Speaker 2: she says fetch, it's so fetch, and she goes, it's
Speaker 2: not fetch. That's not a thing. I mean, I'm like, I.
Speaker 1: Say words that my grandchildren look at me. I go,
Speaker 1: do you even know what that means? And they go no, maybe,
Speaker 1: like what what is that? What?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: It's so normal for me, like describing something or I
Speaker 1: can't think of it off the top of my head.
Speaker 2: Now I'm just like, you know, it's cool.
Speaker 1: They go, oh, oh yeah, awesome. Cool.
Speaker 2: Those I mean, those are archaic at this point. But
Speaker 2: I just think that people I don't know where these
Speaker 2: come up, where they come up with these titles. But
Speaker 2: here's what I'm telling you, I'm personally, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to bother spending too much time learning them because next
Speaker 2: week it's going to be a whole new set. Next
Speaker 2: year it's going to be a whole new you know, vocabulary.
Speaker 1: It's it's the generational thing, like we know things from
Speaker 1: our generation that like what Faith said earlier about how
Speaker 1: we were raised when she said something about the Playboy channel,
Speaker 1: but and our mothers taught us, yes, you cook, you clean,
Speaker 1: you do the dishes, and you take care of the
Speaker 1: children and sometimes they have part time jobs too, and
Speaker 1: where today's it's com completely different, so of course the
Speaker 1: lingo is going to be completely different. However, Go Go
Speaker 1: Boots came back.
Speaker 2: Oh god, you know I didn't like them the first time.
Speaker 2: I really don't like them. The second time.
Speaker 1: I love them.
Speaker 2: I know you do. I'm just sticking with my cowboy boots.
Speaker 2: That's what I you know, the difference.
Speaker 1: It's the same boot cats, same length boot Anyhow.
Speaker 2: I learned these for about two seconds and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: except snatched. I didn't know what that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that one I knew. And body tea I kind
Speaker 1: of got it. That's like a guy thing would say.
Speaker 2: I don't think a girl would say it, wouldn't they.
Speaker 1: No guy, I think somebody sexy.
Speaker 2: I think a girl would use it with another girl.
Speaker 2: I mean, what do I know. I don't have body tea,
Speaker 2: so I'm never using that word. Thanks everybody for joining
Speaker 2: us on Bachelor or Golden Hour. We had such a
Speaker 2: fun time, and now I know that Sin is Narboll Snatched.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I can't say body tea anymore. I take a
Speaker 1: good picture sometimes. With that being said, please make sure
Speaker 1: to rate review, and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2: And you can follow Golden Hour on social media at
Speaker 2: Bachelor Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation.
Speaker 1: Absolutely see you next time.