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Speaker 1: Laala. Is that a Lauren?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? How did you know?

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Speaker 3: Because we had a Lala in my high school, the

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Speaker 3: girl with a I mean, I'm referencing someone I haven't

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Speaker 3: thought about in like one hundred years, But there was

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Speaker 3: a la La that was Lauren.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly right. They called me Laala Bee in

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Speaker 2: high school.

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Speaker 3: Lala b Yeah, that's hilarious in Utah.

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Speaker 1: That's like out of a movie about Utah High School.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Hello, gorgeous. It is Laala Kent. Today's guest is

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Speaker 2: fucking hilarious, brutally honest, which I love, and completely relatable.

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Speaker 2: Jared Freed. He is a voice behind the U Up

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Speaker 2: and Jay Train podcast, a killer stand up comic, and

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Speaker 2: basically the dating translator slash guru that we all really need,

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Speaker 2: especially well especially me. We're talking about the games guys

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Speaker 2: play and why your screenshots to the group chat are

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Speaker 2: valid therapy, So let's jump right into it. Is that true?

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Speaker 2: I'm so terrified of screenshots being sent that, like, when

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Speaker 2: I get text messages, I will literally call you on

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Speaker 2: the phone. And that happened after legal stuff happened, okay,

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Speaker 2: And I was like, but even like amongst my friends,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not saying shit in this text because

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Speaker 2: you're not going to pull this up.

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Speaker 1: I guess.

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Speaker 3: You know, when we talk about screenshots, it's usually on

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Speaker 3: the UU podcast, it's a you know, just eight out

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Speaker 3: of ten times it's a woman who's writing in being like,

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Speaker 3: what does this exchange mean? It's not to like get someone,

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Speaker 3: it's more like, because that's where I come in. I'm

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Speaker 3: ten percent away from every guy someone is dating, so

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Speaker 3: I can I'm not one hundred percent Like if you

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Speaker 3: think of the math of it, like, yeah, whatever you're

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Speaker 3: going through, you're dating, and you're dealing, you're confused about something,

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Speaker 3: you're dealing with a guy who's straight.

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Speaker 1: Dude, who I am.

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Speaker 3: I've done what he's doing, you know, in my own life,

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Speaker 3: and not because I'm trying to be mean or trying,

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Speaker 3: but because it's uncomfortable to date someone in you know.

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Speaker 3: And there's another side. I think a lot of women

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Speaker 3: in dating think that there's this like this guy who

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Speaker 3: doesn't know how to text them back, but also as

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Speaker 3: a master manipulator, like they kind of like and that

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Speaker 3: can't be true. Maybe it's someone with their own insecurities,

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Speaker 3: just like you. That's trying to figure out getting themselves

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Speaker 3: to the best place.

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Speaker 1: That they can be. We all live in the key

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Speaker 1: of me. We all live the story. We're the main characters.

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Speaker 3: So like a lot of times people when they write

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Speaker 3: in they're like they're looking at these text messages, They're like,

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Speaker 3: I don't understand what's going on here, And then I

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Speaker 3: look at it and I go, I can tell you

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Speaker 3: exactly what's going on because I can see what this

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Speaker 3: person's trying to angle at, what they're trying to do.

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Speaker 3: Because again, like the guy you're seeing, if you're listening,

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Speaker 3: if you have an issue with dating, I'm not one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent different than that person. None of us are, right,

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Speaker 3: I'm within one bell curve. I'm with than one standard

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Speaker 3: deviation of your the guy you're seeing, and most of

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Speaker 3: us are very close to one another and how we

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Speaker 3: feel and how smart we are, and you know, it's

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Speaker 3: not that much difference between one person and the next.

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Speaker 3: So I my job on the Up podcast is to

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Speaker 3: be is to try and give voice to the straight

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Speaker 3: male perspective that I do think is missing. I think

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Speaker 3: you know, when straight men talk about dating and they

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Speaker 3: generally get a platform online, they sound like assholes.

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Speaker 1: They it's the worst people.

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Speaker 3: It's bad actors that are looking to get a following

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Speaker 3: that get the platform. And the reason you up is

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Speaker 3: kind of like just like been around. We've been around

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Speaker 3: for seven years and we have people that love our show.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying that we're not a big show, but

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Speaker 3: like we've kind of just like flown by because a

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Speaker 3: lot of the stuff is diet and exercise, and that's

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Speaker 3: really the most.

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Speaker 1: Boring advice no one wants to hear that no one

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Speaker 1: wants to hear.

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Speaker 3: It's like die, Yeah, well they're not texting because they're

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Speaker 3: you know, they're just trying to like they want to

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Speaker 3: keep you as an opt.

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Speaker 1: Like that's not really like a fun dating take, but it.

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Speaker 2: Is the take are most Do you ever get people

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Speaker 2: that write in that are maybe texting communication is all

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Speaker 2: they have, Like we know that like meeting in the

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Speaker 2: DMS or meeting in an app that's kind of like

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Speaker 2: the norm.

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Speaker 3: Now that's totally fine, there's no shame on that. I

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Speaker 3: think that's great. But you don't get to know someone

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Speaker 3: unless it's in person.

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Speaker 2: So so do you do you tell people do a

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Speaker 2: bort mission?

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Speaker 3: Then if like no, I would I don't tell people

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Speaker 3: what to do. I give them. I give them a

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Speaker 3: strategy that would work on me. You know, when I

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Speaker 3: give someone advice, it's what it's something to do and

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Speaker 3: if you do.

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Speaker 1: It, it'll work because it would work on me.

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Speaker 3: So if you give me an example like the one

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Speaker 3: you're talking about right now, Hey, i've been texting with

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Speaker 3: this guy for three weeks, he won't make a plan.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I want him to ask me out.

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Speaker 3: I want him to make a plan because to most women,

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Speaker 3: that is attractive. When a guy makes a plan, I

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Speaker 3: know that he knows that there's a reason he's not

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Speaker 3: making the plan.

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Speaker 1: He might just want to be.

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Speaker 3: Building trust with you so that you guys can meet

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Speaker 3: up in more casual settings.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: He might be texting and texting and texting because he

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Speaker 3: has someone else he's dating.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but.

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Speaker 3: These are all on the spectrum. On the spectrum, there's

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Speaker 3: a spectrum of answers. Yeah, I can't tell you what

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Speaker 3: it is, but I can get I can say to

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Speaker 3: that person who's been texting with a guy for three weeks,

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Speaker 3: you let's look in the mirror and say, hey, what

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Speaker 3: do I want?

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Speaker 1: Well, I want a first date.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's simple. I would go text that guy. Hey,

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Speaker 3: it's been really fun communicating here. You got to be

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Speaker 3: positive and you got to ask for what you want.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So, hey, it's been really fun talking to you. Live

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Speaker 3: in the reality because it has been fun. You have

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Speaker 3: enjoyed the three weeks of texting, even though you want

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Speaker 3: something else, right, Okay, so acknowledge I've had a really

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Speaker 3: good time texting the last three weeks. I think it's

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Speaker 3: time for me to meet in person. I'd love to

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Speaker 3: get together, make a plan, and I'm in I'm free

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Speaker 3: Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

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Speaker 2: All right, So you give him the days you let

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Speaker 2: him know I'm down for the cause. Here's the days

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Speaker 2: i'm free.

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Speaker 3: Let me know I have given And again, we all

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Speaker 3: want to be all women want, most women want to

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Speaker 3: be pursued. So what you've done is now given him

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Speaker 3: all the tools, the wood, the hammer, the nails to

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Speaker 3: build the house. Okay, so it can feel It doesn't

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Speaker 3: feel as good as you wanted, but you're nothing's gonna

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Speaker 3: feel as good as you wanted.

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Speaker 1: Three weeks in text and they haven't made a plan.

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Speaker 3: So I'm getting it to Like the point if you're

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Speaker 3: gonna sit there and text him for three weeks.

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Speaker 1: It's because you want a date.

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Speaker 3: So let's put out the hammer, put out the nails,

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Speaker 3: put out the wood, and now he can build that house.

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Speaker 3: This is an adult who had the ability to match

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Speaker 3: with you on an app and make you believe there

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Speaker 3: were a fun person enough to go out with them

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Speaker 3: and spend time with them. So they have the ability

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Speaker 3: to make that plan. They will either make that plan

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Speaker 3: when you say, hey, I'm free Tuesday and this has

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Speaker 3: been fun.

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Speaker 1: I'm free Tuesday or Wednesday, make a plan. I'm in.

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Speaker 1: If they do anything but make a plan for Tuesday

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Speaker 1: or Wednesday, that's it.

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Speaker 2: Call it a day.

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Speaker 1: At that point, it's make a plan or I'm done.

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Speaker 3: And you don't have to say anything because you're not

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Speaker 3: gonna teach anybody, right, You're not teaching someone who doesn't

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Speaker 3: want to be taught. So a lot of times it's

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Speaker 3: a lot of women that write in, and I say

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Speaker 3: women because I'm in the position of like speaking, you're

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Speaker 3: you're the I'm responding to their emails, so like, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to group women together.

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Speaker 1: If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine. My point is.

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Speaker 3: That when women write into the showy they're looking, They're like,

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Speaker 3: I'm They're They're like, I'm so confused.

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Speaker 1: You're not confused, you're turned off.

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Speaker 3: If you the more, every time you say confused, just

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Speaker 3: say turned off and they'll answer all your questions.

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Speaker 2: Oh I like that because I would much rather be

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Speaker 2: turned off than confused.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're not confused. You're a smart woman.

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Speaker 2: Used leaves me vulnerable. Turned off means you're giving me

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Speaker 2: the ick and I'm kind of like working my way out.

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Speaker 3: Here's the thing about turned off doesn't mean it's over.

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Speaker 3: You know, being turned off and communicating that that's a

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Speaker 3: real motivator to someone that really wants to get to

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Speaker 3: know you. Any woman who has ever told me, ah,

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Speaker 3: that thing you're doing kind of turns me.

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Speaker 1: Off, made hit me in the core.

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Speaker 3: So if you really want to and it also it's

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Speaker 3: a person with taste, it's a person I respect, a

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Speaker 3: person who respects themselves. And I'm not here to be

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Speaker 3: a motivator. Like I'm not here like tell you you're

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Speaker 3: great and wonderful. Like I'm just saying, like how I

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Speaker 3: hear these things? Okay, you know, Like I'm not trying

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Speaker 3: to say like like I do, like think everyone is fine,

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Speaker 3: everyone's for someone, but like I just hear a lot

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Speaker 3: of bullshit from smart people. You know, I'm confused. Well,

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Speaker 3: you're college educating. You got to this point.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's not confused about anything but this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. But that sounds like you want to.

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Speaker 3: Fucking have a It sounds like you want to put

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Speaker 3: confusion in the way of having taste.

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Speaker 2: Well, you can't talk about having this is something where

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Speaker 2: like the heart is speaking right and like you could

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Speaker 2: be a Harvard graduate and the heart just fixates on

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Speaker 2: what it wants. I continue, at the age of thirty four,

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Speaker 2: almost thirty five, to be attracted to men who make

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Speaker 2: me work really, really fucking hard.

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Speaker 1: Who are you dating right now? Laala? Nobody? Nobody? Are

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Speaker 1: you texting with anybody?

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Speaker 2: So I like to say that I'm yes. My whole

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Speaker 2: thing is when you say are you dating? That puts

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Speaker 2: me in a box of potential, whereas when you say

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Speaker 2: are you talking to this person? It leaves me to be.

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Speaker 1: I didn't ask those questions though.

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Speaker 2: No, you said are you dating?

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Speaker 1: I said, no, you're seeing anyone? Are you like talking

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Speaker 1: to anyone that's talking?

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Speaker 2: I like talking better? Well, I think I never I've

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Speaker 2: never talked about this at all.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think what you're doing like to me, like

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Speaker 3: when people ask why their dating issues, I've kind of like,

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Speaker 3: you know, you try to make this edible for people,

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Speaker 3: like conversation, especially because again, like this is all marketing.

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Speaker 3: Dating dating talk is very it can be. It's the same,

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Speaker 3: it's not. There's not a lot to say. But I

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Speaker 3: do believe there's such a.

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Speaker 1: Thing as back alley dating and main street dating.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what's the back alley?

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Speaker 3: Back alley dating is meeting someone on an app, having

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Speaker 3: no friends in common, and going out for drinks. That's

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Speaker 3: something that no one knows about, no one cares about.

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Speaker 3: There's no there's no repercussions, no will ask questions how

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Speaker 3: to go with Jake?

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Speaker 2: Okay, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like and again I used a fake name. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I have gone about my life saying I don't date

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Speaker 2: right now, I don't talk to anybody such a woman.

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Speaker 1: Women, Women do this on off switch.

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Speaker 3: You're always dating, You're always out there. If you're single,

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Speaker 3: you're always out there. Okay, if you're unspoken for, you're

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Speaker 3: always looking. That is that is a thing people say

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Speaker 3: to themselves to not be feel like they failed. You're saying,

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Speaker 3: I'm not dating right now, so that you'll never feel

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Speaker 3: like a night when Red Dreid ray rejection. That is

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Speaker 3: like to me, like, I get it, I get it,

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Speaker 3: like I wish I I'm in my whe fase, so

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Speaker 3: you don't feel bad about fucking some dude. That's why

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Speaker 3: men don't do that. I've never heard a guy in

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Speaker 3: his whole phase. I've never I'm not dating right now.

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Speaker 3: Every guy's always dating, always looking, always not looking. And

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Speaker 3: this is something that you don't have to do. Like

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Speaker 3: I know you, but like you're like.

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Speaker 1: On the podcast, I say I'm not dating right now, Well,

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Speaker 1: you're always dating.

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Speaker 3: And the thing that I always get put in the

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Speaker 3: position of saying is that men are not naive idiots.

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Speaker 3: We are more emotionally intelligent than women give us credit for.

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Speaker 3: So the idea that he would hear this and go

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Speaker 3: you like me is crazy.

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Speaker 1: That'd be him. He'd be an asshole for doing that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, because you're hitting on something that like has been

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Speaker 3: a big piece of advice that I've said to people

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Speaker 3: is if you're going out with your friends and getting

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Speaker 3: like a daytime.

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Speaker 1: Sprits or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, hey, and this is who that that's the exact

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Speaker 3: hang you want. Hey, I'm with my friends. We're having

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Speaker 3: a sprits. If you and if you're with any friends

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Speaker 3: want to come, m you're more than welcome, open invitation,

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Speaker 3: no harm, no foul.

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Speaker 1: You know you don't come, that's okay, you got other

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Speaker 1: things going on.

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Speaker 3: But what you're doing when you say I'm out with

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Speaker 3: my friends and having fun and would love for you

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Speaker 3: and your friends to come to again, that's the that's

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Speaker 3: the main street date that you want because friends are there. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that is you seeing them again.

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Speaker 1: This is about you seeing.

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Speaker 3: If they're the right partner for you, you seeing them

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Speaker 3: interact with your closest and best. Of course it is,

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Speaker 3: but we all talk about it hypothetically. You know, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I they gotta get along with my friends, and I

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Speaker 3: gotta be able to leave them alone at a party. Well,

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Speaker 3: you haven't invited them to a fucking party. You never

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Speaker 3: invite them out with your friends because you're afraid of

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Speaker 3: your friends going what happened to Jason and then you go,

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Speaker 3: well bo bo work out? Well fuck off, that sucks.

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Speaker 3: Deal with it, you know, like you know, take the chance,

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Speaker 3: you know, so if you like them again, that's what

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Speaker 3: makes me go, do I like the person? I do

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Speaker 3: this all the time in my life. Oh, I would

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Speaker 3: love to invite someone to come hang with my friends

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Speaker 3: if we're out, But I'm like, do I like them

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Speaker 3: enough to give that part of my life to them?

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Speaker 3: That's hard too, That's a that's taking responsibility from me,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I back away from a lot of

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Speaker 3: like really nice people that I go. It wouldn't be

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Speaker 3: fair of me to because when I was younger, I

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Speaker 3: didn't really care, you know, hang with my friends, meet

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Speaker 3: my parents.

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Speaker 1: Who cares? They don't care because I.

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Speaker 3: Didn't deal with what women have to deal with a lot, right,

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Speaker 3: I didn't have to deal with like what happened to

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Speaker 3: them and did they end it with you?

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Speaker 1: And so the societal stuff. Ok of like the pressure.

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Speaker 3: A lot of women feel that, like you're a failure

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Speaker 3: if it doesn't work out with the person you brought

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Speaker 3: home to your friends and family.

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Speaker 1: I do understand that's a different game.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's a lot of pressure because I think especially

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Speaker 2: for women who start getting older, of course they want

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Speaker 2: it to work out. And there's that whole thing. If

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Speaker 2: I'm still single at thirty, like I'm going to marry

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Speaker 2: my best friend. That's our deal. So to come home

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Speaker 2: again and again to be like, oh, it didn't work

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Speaker 2: out with this one, it didn't work out with that one.

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Speaker 2: I think that we are programmed to think that others

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Speaker 2: are going, what's wrong with you? That none of this

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Speaker 2: is working now.

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Speaker 1: Listen, I don't envy it.

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Speaker 3: I only started feeling what's wrong with you, like the

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Speaker 3: last couple of months, Like I'm forty. When you turn forty,

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Speaker 3: I think men get that, like forty, never marry, no kids.

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Speaker 1: I think that becomes more, but never like it is

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Speaker 1: for women. I mean, like I anyone have a.

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Speaker 2: Biological clock as well for women where it's like I'm

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Speaker 2: in my thirties.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all shit I don't have to deal with, right,

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Speaker 3: But also that's like sewn into the fabric of society.

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Speaker 3: Like it's stuff that like I don't envy you know,

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Speaker 3: Like but if anyone this is where like the online

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Speaker 3: voice for men is so gross because they never seem

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Speaker 3: to acknowledge that, like it's a different battle for women,

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Speaker 3: Like all those guys that are like pieces of shit

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Speaker 3: online that like right give like hot takes on dating.

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Speaker 3: They all just kind of have this like they never

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Speaker 3: really acknowledge that, like the pressures are different on the

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Speaker 3: other side, they're way different, right I And that's something

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Speaker 3: that like I fully acknowledged.

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Speaker 1: That's like I've you know.

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Speaker 3: But also that's why like the messaging that I you know,

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Speaker 3: or my perspective, I try to let people know, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: To me as much as it does to you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Like that's good to know.

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Speaker 2: Like what's that the age range of women who are

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Speaker 2: reaching out to you?

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Speaker 1: Oh, we get you know, it's weirdly getting wider.

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Speaker 3: Because there's so many women in their you know, fifties

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Speaker 3: and sixties who are like getting single now and people

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Speaker 3: in there in that age group who have never dated

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Speaker 3: with the internet and now they're like single. So we're

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Speaker 3: getting that. But you know, mostly twenty we were like

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Speaker 3: a twenty seven to like you know, if I'm to

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Speaker 3: give it a ten year at twenty seven to thirty seven,

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Speaker 3: but like again I'm forty, there's people around my age

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Speaker 3: who look that reach out and we have I mean

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Speaker 3: it's really just mostly women. Well yeah, but I love

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Speaker 3: when men listen too, because like, of course, like I'm

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Speaker 3: not like, you know, I do stand up. I go

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Speaker 3: around the country. When I first started doing stand up

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Speaker 3: or started going on the road, I've been doing stand

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Speaker 3: up for fifteen years. And then I, you know, kind

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Speaker 3: of like stumbled upon I wanted to do a podcast,

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Speaker 3: and then I like basically was like, hey, and here's

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Speaker 3: my email, email in and all the email questions were

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Speaker 3: from men looking for dating advice, but all the male

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Speaker 3: dating advice was.

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Speaker 1: Like this, chick, how do I fuck? And it was like.

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Speaker 2: Very like, so, do you think men think with their

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Speaker 2: dick more so than like anything else?

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Speaker 1: Yes, and no I do.

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Speaker 3: But I'm I'm saying at the time, there was like

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Speaker 3: a young group of men listening because you were because.

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Speaker 1: I was twenty seven when I started.

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Speaker 2: You were young.

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Speaker 3: Started doing the podcast, and then when women started listening

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Speaker 3: to podcasts, I started getting all these emails from women,

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Speaker 3: and that's when the show got interesting. And then you

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Speaker 3: up started with Betches and we did the male female counterpoint.

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Speaker 3: You know, I do the show with Jordana Abraham. She

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Speaker 3: started Betches with her, you know, with Sammy and Aleen.

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Speaker 3: They're you know, three friends that went to college together.

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Speaker 3: So like I've been kind of so we have had

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Speaker 3: this podcast like the last seven years, and it's it's

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Speaker 3: just very like and now you have people that listen

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Speaker 3: with their spouses, that listen with their boyfriend them and

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Speaker 3: that I always know the couples like good because like

387
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Speaker 3: we're talking about things, like we're bringing up subjects live.

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Speaker 3: We tape, no, we tape, but like it's Wednesday and Friday, but.

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Speaker 2: The couples are calling in. You're not answering questions from

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Speaker 2: a video that they said.

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Speaker 3: We got emails, mostly emails. We've got voicemails in the past.

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Speaker 3: We just had a couple on our Benefits episode come

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Speaker 3: on to have a fight where.

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Speaker 1: We were like judge Jay and Jay where we.

395
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Speaker 3: Played like couples court and they had a dispute like

396
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Speaker 3: an argument about like he had a friend that was

397
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Speaker 3: reaching out to go to the zoo together, and we

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00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 3: like talked it out. It was really fun and it

399
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 3: was like really like really good, Like maybe.

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Speaker 2: Told m to not go to the zoo. Did he

401
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Speaker 2: do it?

402
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 3: He wasn't going, but they like he couldn't understand why

403
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 3: she was upset that he would go to the zoo with.

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Speaker 1: A female friend.

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00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and how why the zoo was like such a

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Speaker 3: sticking point.

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Speaker 1: So it was all it's a good conversation.

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Speaker 3: But I did like that guy and her like they've

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Speaker 3: been together like three years, you know, like and they're.

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Speaker 2: Calling it what zoo did they go to? Dear mind?

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Speaker 3: He was in Amsterdam, I think because they were from Amsterdam. Okay, yeah,

412
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Speaker 3: they've been to my show in Amsterdam.

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Speaker 2: So she was upset that he reached was going to

414
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Speaker 2: go to the zoo with That's a little weird to

415
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Speaker 2: me too.

416
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Speaker 1: It is weird.

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00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 3: They acknowledged it like they were way more again, like

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00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,440
Speaker 3: they were way more cool. Like this sounds like he's

419
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Speaker 3: going to the zoo to fuck this woman, you know,

420
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 3: but it's not.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like that at all. Like it was.

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Speaker 3: Actually like I did understand his perspective. It turns out

423
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,920
Speaker 3: the friend there's a deeper thing going on there, like

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Speaker 3: where the friend is kind of having issues in their

425
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Speaker 3: life and he was kind of being he kind of

426
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,800
Speaker 3: felt like he was helping them by being a friend

427
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 3: of them. So like it was like that stuff was

428
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Speaker 3: working and it was just interesting.

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Speaker 2: What's like the most intense message that you've gotten where

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Speaker 2: you're like, I don't think that I could help you

431
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: with this.

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Speaker 3: I those are the hard ones because you're like, I'm

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Speaker 3: no therapist, I have no y.

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Speaker 1: I try to say it to.

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Speaker 2: You, I'm like, well, I have to imagine that people

436
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 2: do kind of look at you as a therapist when

437
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Speaker 2: they come to you.

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00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 1: Well, I always say they should go.

439
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: We try to, you know, you try to push people

440
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 3: like get a professor, because professional can give you the

441
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 3: tools like to get through these things.

442
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: Like I can't do that.

443
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 3: I can just give an opinion, like I'm not gonna like,

444
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 3: you know, I'm there to have fun with the subject, right,

445
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 3: so when it gets into.

446
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: That territory, it's hard for us to even do it.

447
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 2: I I kind of like you stick to like breaking

448
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 2: down the dms and you keep it light and you

449
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 2: just stay in your male perspective.

450
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 3: And also like yeah, and also telling people like hey,

451
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 3: this is like sometimes people write in about this like

452
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 3: story they think is not that serious, and you're like, eh,

453
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 3: this is serious, right. I think those are like sometimes

454
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 3: like even just hearing like that from someone who's not

455
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 3: your friend, Like you know, I think people why to

456
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 3: people write into a podcast. They go, we the beauty

457
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 3: of giving advice on a podcast. I don't have to

458
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 3: make eye contact with the person.

459
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, your friends.

460
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 3: When your friends give you advice, they soften, you know,

461
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 3: they and they also give advice from the perspective.

462
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 1: Of knowing you from high school when you were La

463
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 1: La B. You know, like you know, like that's a

464
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 1: different you.

465
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,239
Speaker 3: And then you don't trust the advice because you go, well,

466
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 3: you're just saying that's a La La B.

467
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 1: You don't know me now.

468
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 3: So when I get an email, I'm reading what they

469
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 3: wrote to me.

470
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.

471
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 3: And I also, like, you know, I like reading the

472
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 3: emails because the answers are sometimes in them, you know,

473
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 3: the things people point out to us, it says a

474
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 3: lot about them.

475
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 1: You know.

476
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 3: Sometimes you can tell someone's trying to like get you

477
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 3: on their side before they've even asked a question, and

478
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 3: like I can see it in the email. I'm like,

479
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 3: you don't have to fucking make yourself a victim to me,

480
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 3: right right? And oh, they dump me on a Tuesday?

481
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: Can you believe it was a Tuesday? I get that,

482
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 3: you know, they describe the dump and I'm like, yeah,

483
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,440
Speaker 3: you were dumped, okay, move on, right, But you see

484
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: that in emails because when you go a brunch with

485
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,199
Speaker 3: your friends and you're like, and it was six weeks

486
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 3: after my birthday and your friend goes, oh my god.

487
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 2: We love to right, we love to rub each other up.

488
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 3: You do, And that's okay. I get the fun in that,

489
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 3: But like when I see that, I have to be

490
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 3: the person that's like no one because the fuck.

491
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: Right, you know, like six weeks ago, okay, move on.

492
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: Move on my birthday.

493
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 1: You didn't make me take your side more.

494
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 3: He can still be a dick without it being your

495
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 3: birthday six weeks ago.

496
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

497
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 2: I think that's the other thing that's really hard is

498
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 2: just because someone breaks up with you. Like, I've never

499
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 2: understood why people fixate on like how the person broke

500
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 2: up with them. I'm totally fine with an email, post

501
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: it note, text message in person. In fact, i'd actually

502
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 2: rather you send me a text because I don't want

503
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 2: to fucking see you after.

504
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 3: Well, that goes to the societal stuff. I'm starting to

505
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 3: up I because it's like they're trying to show you.

506
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people want to vilify the

507
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 3: other person for ending it so that they're not seen

508
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 3: as the loser that they were. You know, when you're

509
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 3: dumped and your friends are getting married. You don't want

510
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 3: to be the scene as the person who fucked up

511
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 3: a relationship, so they need a reason why And okay,

512
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 3: why did you break up?

513
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 1: Well, he ca can you believe this type of person?

514
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 3: He broke up with me at my house at three

515
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 3: o'clock on a Tuesday?

516
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: Can you even believe?

517
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,479
Speaker 3: And they're trying to build them up as like this

518
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 3: villain so that you go, you have no more questions,

519
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: You don't question if it was them at all. You

520
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 3: know that's kind of the move.

521
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: And how do you feel about ghosting?

522
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 3: I'm against it. I don't think that's I think it's rude.

523
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: I mean I've ghosted. I don't I'm not proud of it,

524
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 3: like right like. And also think the problem with ghosting

525
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 3: is that the definition has become so vague that no

526
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 3: one even again. You just said, send me a text.

527
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,479
Speaker 3: Some people go, don't text me at all. We've been

528
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 3: on one day. Why would you dump me?

529
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: Yeah? Some people go, I was ghosted. We went on

530
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: one day. You never text it again. So it gets confusing,

531
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: you know, right and wrong.

532
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 3: The minute we give names and we make everything a

533
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 3: victim plea is the minute we don't know what to

534
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 3: do so, like, listen, I have we kind of like

535
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 3: on our show the ghosting thing, where like if someone

536
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 3: is asking you to go on a date again and

537
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: you are going away, like maybe you should say, hey,

538
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 3: this Isn't you have.

539
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 1: To send an uncomfortable text?

540
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I no one text you asking for that day,

541
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: Like maybe there's no reason to send that text.

542
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 2: No. I think ghosting is for me when I've been ghosted,

543
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 2: it's like we were straight fucking kicking it. We were dating,

544
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,919
Speaker 2: you were around my friend, you were we were in

545
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,199
Speaker 2: each other's beds, and then you just fall off the

546
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: face of the earth like that as well, right, Like

547
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: there's a little more at stake, right if you're just

548
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: texting dming and then they just never respond.

549
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 3: I just this is why words matter, you know, Like

550
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 3: because people talk about I got ghosted on the dating app.

551
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: Then they've with someone they've never met and they spoke

552
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 1: to No.

553
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 2: I don't call it, but I'm saying.

554
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: People do, so I'm with you.

555
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 3: To me, ghosting is someone had sex with you and

556
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 3: then they never spoke to you again, even and especially

557
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: when you try to speak to them and say hey,

558
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 3: where you've been and they don't answer.

559
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: Like you had.

560
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 3: It takes two to be ghosted, right, you know, like

561
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 3: if you just wait for someone to text you and

562
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 3: they don't do it.

563
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 1: Were you ghosted or did you?

564
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 3: Were you afraid of getting an answer and both people

565
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: became afraid and one person became afraid to text you

566
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 3: and you became afraid to ask for an answer.

567
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: Honestly, I just think that people are terrified of the

568
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 2: word like forever. Right, people are so much everything is

569
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 2: so accessible. You're swiping right, you can literally change your location.

570
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: You can have a one night stand in a matter

571
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: have that connected in a matter of seconds, right, Like

572
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:19,640
Speaker 2: people are too accessible now where I think men are

573
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 2: more guilty of this than women. I think women crave

574
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 2: companionship and family and stability more so than men, And

575
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: I think that's why you probably get a plethora of

576
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 2: messages because it's very, very hard to get inside the

577
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 2: mind of a dude.

578
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: I agree with what you're saying.

579
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 3: I think also on that subject, like men don't want commitment, well,

580
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 3: I think it's also where does that fear come from?

581
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 3: The way you are judged as a man is like

582
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: can you provide do you have the ability?

583
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: You know? Are you going to be.

584
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 3: There for that family, Like, are you like all those things,

585
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 3: all those life things that come up, Someone is now

586
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 3: your responsibility. Yeah, when a man, when I fail on

587
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 3: my own, I can fail in the dark, I can

588
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 3: fail in quiet. Yeah, I do feel in me the

589
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: fear of like failing and telling someone that has now

590
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 3: made my pursuits theirs as well when you're in a partnership,

591
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 3: Like that's really hard to like, I can't imagine, you know,

592
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 3: sharing those failures with someone. I think that's really hard

593
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: to do because you know, when you're three months in

594
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 3: with someone, you can kind of fake it your all potential, right,

595
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 3: you know. And I think that's a very male thing

596
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: to me, Like I feel it, like and I think

597
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: when I've dated someone, their lack of fear of like

598
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 3: let's just be in a relationship and see what happens

599
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 3: is like crazy to be. Yeah, like there's no thought

600
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: of like like they're just like, yeah, of course, I'm right.

601
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 3: Every woman has been every woman I've ever dated has

602
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 3: been ready to be you know, settled down since twenty two.

603
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 3: You know, I'm just saying like that generally, and you go,

604
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 3: you have no fear of this, You've never thought twice,

605
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 3: you know, and then it's funny because now you get

606
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 3: and now I'm at the age where you start hearing

607
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 3: from the people who settle down quickly that.

608
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: Go, ah, you know, we never you know, maybe that

609
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: was you know, like.

610
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: The second guest, the third party is coming in out

611
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 2: a marriage.

612
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: That's extreme. That's what people like to hear.

613
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 3: I don't know they like to hear about that, But

614
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,360
Speaker 3: I don't know how much that's happening.

615
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: At least, I'm not getting a lot of offers to

616
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: be the third you know.

617
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: I think it's more women, right, Like I only like men,

618
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 2: Like I've hooked up with chicks. But if I were

619
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: in a marriage, there's no way that I would want

620
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: a second dude.

621
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 3: Oh why I'm saying dude on the side, that's what

622
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 3: I would more like open marriages, like I you hear

623
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 3: about all these things, lots you hear about all these things.

624
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 3: I think there they take up space in the room.

625
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 3: Like I was thinking more like, well he doesn't care,

626
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 3: come with me, you know, you go, that's not really happening,

627
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: like you know, like like swinging. Yeah, like you hear,

628
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 3: I think it's taking up space in the room where

629
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 3: it's not really deserved. I think like this whole like

630
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 3: like it's like we had this whole thing in we

631
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 3: did our you podcast on the road, so we went

632
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 3: and did a dating show. Yeah, we did a dating

633
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 3: show on the road. Fifty city or fifty twenty something cities.

634
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 3: Everywhere was bad, the worst dating place. Everyone's claimed their

635
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 3: city was the worst for dating, which means there's no

636
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: good city for dating.

637
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: Okay, there's nobody.

638
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 2: You say, though, really quickly, what would you say is

639
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: the hardest city to date in?

640
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: They all have their different problems, Okay.

641
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 3: Like like New York, there was like disposability, there's always

642
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 3: another you could swipe and never run out of people.

643
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 3: Totally San Francisco. The women in San Francisco had a

644
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 3: saying the goods are odd, but the odds are good,

645
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 3: meaning there's a lot of men, yeah, but they are weird.

646
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 3: They're like tech bro coder types. So that was their issue,

647
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: is that you're dealing with a lot of people on

648
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 3: the spectrum and you know or that was like the

649
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 3: Silicon Valley area, you know that area of the country. LA.

650
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 3: The problem was that Peter Peter Pans and the pursuit

651
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 3: is something else that was major city stuff. They're pursuing

652
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 3: something else but a relationship. You know here when people

653
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: in La everyone's got dreams that are bigger than and

654
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 3: different than family and.

655
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: Settling down, so that takes priorities.

656
00:29:56,120 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 3: So yeah, But the one thing that I noticed in

657
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: San Francisco was like E and M, ethical non monogamy

658
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: was like a big thing that they had an issue with.

659
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 3: And it's funny, like a subject like that you hear

660
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 3: about ethical non monogamy because it's like if you're in

661
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 3: a liberal leaning city, like ethical non monogamy, and it

662
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 3: was just like weird. It was funny to see the

663
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: predicament of a very liberal crowd in San Francisco have

664
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 3: this issue.

665
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: They were like I don't fucking want that. I want

666
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: a boyfriend.

667
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 3: But these guys would put this like liberal kind of

668
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 3: wall up because you couldn't be like against someone's lifestyle.

669
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 3: But it was like, ethical nominogamy is a thing, but

670
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: it's a thing for there are less people doing it

671
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: than you would think, like that are.

672
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: Able to do it.

673
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 3: To say you're on a dating app looking for ethical nominogamy,

674
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: like that can happen, so you have to acknowledge it.

675
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: But it's not happening as much as people are just.

676
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: Using that so they don't get blamed for when you

677
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 3: guys break up and you know, it makes you half

678
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 3: a boyfriend's instead of a full boyfriend.

679
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: It's all like bullshit. It's just the fuckery of dudes,

680
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 1: you know.

681
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 3: Like it's like and I look at it a nice

682
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 3: smile because I don't give a fuck, right Like, I'm

683
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 3: not that I don't. I don't not give a fuck,

684
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 3: But I'm not like, I'm not sold that this is

685
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 3: some high minded individual.

686
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: I think this is just a new word you've given

687
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: to I want to fuck a bunch of people, you know,

688
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: so I so I laugh at it because and it's like.

689
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 3: A lot of these like swingers and this, it's all

690
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 3: stuff people bring up that avoids diet and exercise, that

691
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 3: avoids the reality of dating is really very normal, and

692
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 3: it's hard and you're looking for someone, and those aren't

693
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 3: your problems, you know, the problems aren't everyone's swinging.

694
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: I I think that everyone's swinging. I think a lot

695
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: of people more more people are cheating than not cheating.

696
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 2: And I think that health.

697
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: More people are cheating than not cheating.

698
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 2: Yes, I think most peopleship want me. I've never cheated before.

699
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying is that your problem in dating

700
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: right now?

701
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: You know, I would have a really really hard time

702
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 2: being committed to someone because I don't know that I

703
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: could wholeheartedly I believe that they weren't fucking around on me.

704
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,959
Speaker 3: I would hope, I think we all would hope that

705
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 3: you meet someone that makes you feel so good and

706
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 3: safe that that won't be the reality. I can understand

707
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 3: from the outside looking in. Listen, I'm cynical about dating too.

708
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: I would hope that the person that I end up

709
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: with that's not even.

710
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 2: Like a thought a thought in your mind.

711
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would hope, But I understand what you're saying.

712
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 2: A lifetime is a really long time together.

713
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: Listen. I am not I am not naive.

714
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 3: I am That's why this iszar and there's good times

715
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 3: and bad times and all those things. But if you're

716
00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 3: going into dating being like I'll never trust anyone, and

717
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 3: you probably won't.

718
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: Let's put it this way. If I were dating somebody

719
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 2: and I trusted him and we were solid and we

720
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 2: had a beautiful relationship, and someone came to me and said, law,

721
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 2: I really need to tell you something I have been

722
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: hearing that he's doing this behind your back. Sure I

723
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: wouldn't defend him. I would say that, but that's.

724
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: Different than what you said. I listen, I'm with you.

725
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 3: If someone said that to me about my brother, I go,

726
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 3: I'll take that into account and now I'm gonna have

727
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 3: a talk. Yeah, that sucks, But like if you're living,

728
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 3: if you're going into dating expecting that to happen with everybody,

729
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: like I think you're.

730
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 2: Probably going to expect it. At some point. People who

731
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: have been married for twenty five years are now coming

732
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 2: forward being like I just found out that he's fucking around.

733
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm with you, But anything can happen.

734
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: That's very like any like you know, a huge fire

735
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 3: can come over Los Angeles and take out half the homes,

736
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: and that's.

737
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: What I'm saying.

738
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 3: So so like if you said that your whole life

739
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,439
Speaker 3: and then it happened, you go, you go around going, well,

740
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 3: I was right, Well you didn't really live life.

741
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:19,879
Speaker 2: I fully agree with.

742
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: You, you know what I mean.

743
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 3: So it kind of to bring it back to dating

744
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 3: and not to like not to use someone's pain that

745
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 3: people are like currently going through to make a point.

746
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 3: But like if you're going into dating like, well, it's

747
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: gonna be there's gonna be cheating, Like I like, I

748
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: think you're fucked Like I I, I don't think you're

749
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 3: gonna like be in love.

750
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna you gotta let go like

751
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: that stuff is like I don't know, I I you know,

752
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: and I have that. I have my own version of that.

753
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 3: Like, you know, if I go into a relayship thinking like, oh,

754
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get bored of any relationship, of course you.

755
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: Bring the third party, that's right, see, but that's healthy.

756
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 2: I feel like if you're in a marriage and you're like, oh,

757
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: we got together at like you know, twenty five, because

758
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,800
Speaker 2: that's young depending on where you live. We've been together

759
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: a long fucking time, and I know I want to

760
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 2: be with them forever, but like it's a little stuffy.

761
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: How do we spice it up while still you know,

762
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 2: you always I don't know, porn, nipple, yeah, do that

763
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: whole thing, do.

764
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: Some weird shit together? I don't know.

765
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 2: These are the questions that I would probably call you with,

766
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: as you.

767
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: Can listen, I've given that.

768
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 3: I've always thought I've always had this great idea that

769
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,399
Speaker 3: there should be a monthly check in with relationships where

770
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: every month you sit, you have a date night, you

771
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 3: have a dinner, yeah, and then you write on a

772
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 3: letter something that you've like. It was like I think

773
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 3: it was. I gave this idea a long time. I'm

774
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 3: always going to get creative. I'm always going to get creative.

775
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,479
Speaker 3: I have the right, I have the ability to because

776
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: I'm not in it. When you're in it, you kind

777
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 3: of get less creative because there's someone else there and

778
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 3: you know them and you're like, I can't. But I

779
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,359
Speaker 3: always thought it was a good idea to write three

780
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: things on a card, something something that made you happy

781
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 3: about them, something that really made you happy this month,

782
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: something that really annoyed you this month, and something you'd

783
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 3: like to try together, and you put it on a

784
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 3: card and then you slide across the table and they

785
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: slide theres across the table and you fill it out

786
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 3: and then you trade them and then you have this

787
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 3: like nice dinner where you're getting a little fucked up

788
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: and or you have your dinner whatever.

789
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: And I think that's like a very sweet thing.

790
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 3: Again, I'm saying that while alone, single, not in relayship,

791
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 3: I you know someone might look at me and go,

792
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 3: that's never gonna happen. Maybe you do it once a year.

793
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 3: I don't know, it'd be a sexy night. Wouldn't be

794
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 3: sexy and exciting for a relationship. You're twenty five years in,

795
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 3: you get that card and they're like, yeah, I want

796
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 3: you to like, you know, put the nipple clamps on

797
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 3: to night and they're in the in the fucking back

798
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 3: seat of the car, Like that'd be fucking.

799
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: Cool or cool? Right?

800
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 3: So, And you know, you really made me angry when

801
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 3: you did this, and I never told you that, and

802
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,959
Speaker 3: I'm happy I'm getting the release to do it now.

803
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 3: And it really turned me on when you did this,

804
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 3: and I never would have told you that.

805
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: And you should create a game.

806
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 3: I think it's a well listen, it's just a card.

807
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: It's a piece of paper.

808
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:16,800
Speaker 2: No, you should make money off.

809
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 3: Of right, Well, listen, if you do that, send me

810
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 3: money or come to my show.

811
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: I have I do stand up. This isn't I'm not

812
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: being very funny now, but I know, but let's.

813
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: Talk about your stand up. Where are you next?

814
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 3: When does this come out? I'm in Braya this weekend,

815
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 3: so I'm doing shows in Bray.

816
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 2: Was that in California.

817
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: How do you not know that? I don't know any

818
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: It's an hour away from here. That's why I'm here.

819
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 2: Oh, that's why you're in town.

820
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 3: Well, we did some other podcasts for the U up

821
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 3: to like promote the U Up.

822
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: I'm here to promote the U podcast and.

823
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 3: Then I'm in Braya this weekend, so I'm like an

824
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 3: hour away and then I go back to Delray Beach

825
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 3: on Sunday night.

826
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what a surfer.

827
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: It looks like not like me.

828
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: But you know you live in Florida now, No, this is.

829
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 3: More like lay on the beach and complain about my

830
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 3: body beach, not like surf beach.

831
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what we do in Florida.

832
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: Everyone's getting eaten and by sharks in Florida right now.

833
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 3: So you're the second person to tell me this. I

834
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 3: haven't heard a watch shark. I haven't seen one shark.

835
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 3: I go in the ocean every day. I'm there every day.

836
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 2: Just a matter of time. Well, this is where we

837
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 2: see you.

838
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 1: I'll send it your love.

839
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: Well, let me just tell you, because I am actually

840
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 2: concerned about it. What you're supposed to do.

841
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: Punch it in the nose. That's what they say.

842
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 2: You're not supposed to swim away from it at all,

843
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 2: so you keep your feet planted. You look like a

844
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: big guy. Punch it right in the night.

845
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,760
Speaker 3: I am not going to do anything. I'm gonna scream.

846
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 3: If you ever saw me with seaweed, you'd be like,

847
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 3: like I touched seweed. I'm like, I'm the worst.

848
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: No, you're getting eaten, there's no.

849
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: Way, and you're breaking off soon. Florida is going bye bye,

850
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:58,240
Speaker 2: so you know what you're.

851
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: Getting as it floats away.

852
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can only hope that you're not there. When

853
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: it happens, we'll see I'm not there a lot.

854
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: I'd love to I can't wait to go back. I

855
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: really liked being in Delray Beach. I'm like, I'm just.

856
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 3: Like enjoying because New York it's so hard to do

857
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 3: anything right. When you're living in New York. It's like

858
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 3: I would have shows at night, and it's like if

859
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 3: you want to, like go to a beach in New York,

860
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 3: it's like far planned for six months, Like it's far.

861
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 3: There's like the Rockaways, but like even that, it's just

862
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 3: everything is exhausting. Like I love living in New York.

863
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those like

864
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 3: hate on it because I left.

865
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: Like I love New York City. It's just a different lifestyle.

866
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 2: Do you have you started dating in Florida.

867
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: I've gone on some dates in Florida.

868
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 2: Do you talk about them? On the Uup podcast.

869
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 1: I talk about my dating life. I try to.

870
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 3: I don't talk about people specifically. I try to be

871
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 3: as classy as I can be. But I mean, if

872
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 3: anyone's ever gone on a day with me, I'd assume

873
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 3: they know what I do.

874
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: And I've talked about what I do, and.

875
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 3: I try to be but like, and I do understand

876
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 3: like if I talk about a date just hypothetically or

877
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 3: in general, and I can understand someone being like like

878
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 3: hearing that and going, oh my god, what are they

879
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 3: gonna say? Because I'm being honest. But like I've I've

880
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:20,919
Speaker 3: never felt the need to like make someone else look

881
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 3: you feel bad.

882
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: That's okay, That's not my goal. It's for me to relate.

883
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,919
Speaker 3: I want people to like like, like, I can say

884
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 3: that the dates that I've been on in Florida. It's

885
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 3: the difference is driving. I think driving puts a pressure

886
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 3: on a date that I never really thought it would.

887
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,479
Speaker 3: That's something I feel in my body and my soul

888
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 3: is no I know how to drive driven my whole life.

889
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 3: It's just the idea that like, this is an important

890
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 3: thing I'm going to.

891
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm going New York.

892
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 3: You walk to the date, you go into a bar,

893
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 3: you walk home. It's just I don't know. I think

894
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 3: it's just one of those things that makes it feel

895
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 3: different for me. It feels like it's like we are

896
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 3: heading to an event. And also, I think in New York,

897
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 3: La is similar. Everyone's trying to chase something. Everyone's looking

898
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 3: to do something. You don't go to LA or New

899
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 3: York to not do something right.

900
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: We came to chase the dream.

901
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: Ye dream or career or just a hustle.

902
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 3: I think when you're in Florida, and this isn't even

903
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 3: just dating, just the people you meet. Everyone's got a story,

904
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 3: everyone's done something, everyone's been somewhere. Everyone's got how they

905
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 3: ended up in Florida. That's their story, not what they're

906
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 3: gonna do, it's where they've been. So that's a difference.

907
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 3: The mindset is different.

908
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 1: So it's like you go on a date in Florida, it's.

909
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 3: Like, well, I was dating this person. I lived with

910
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 3: them there. I did you know I used to work here.

911
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: I moved here because it's all those stories right New York.

912
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: The stories are different. I'm here to do this.

913
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 2: That feels like very sex in the city to me.

914
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 2: Like when I picture people dating in New York, it

915
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 2: literally I can only picture sex in the city or girls.

916
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: Well that show that show nailed.

917
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: It, Sex and the City or girls Sex and the City.

918
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 3: I know that show nailed it. Like they there's so

919
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 3: many things that I talked about. They are like, that's

920
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,320
Speaker 3: sex and the City was like I had no idea,

921
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: but they nailed it.

922
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you talking about like walking to the date,

923
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: going into a bar, leaving and walking home like it

924
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,959
Speaker 2: just sounds very I lived in the West Village. Yeah,

925
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: way less pressure. You're right, like the whole car situation,

926
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 2: and that adds another level of pressure. I think for

927
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 2: a dude, because it's like I have to pick her up.

928
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: I can't her to uber like that's gonna be a

929
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 2: red mark. If someone not for me, I would actually

930
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 2: prefer to driver uber Like I'm not trying to have you.

931
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: I'd rather be the date that's me. But listen, this whole.

932
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 3: Like a lot of people look for rules so that

933
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 3: they don't have to have their own opinion.

934
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: I just I meet there, meet me there at eight,

935
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 1: meet me there at six.

936
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 2: Also understand that the girls, we all like to talk.

937
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: We asked the details. Did he pick you up? Now

938
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: you have the pressure of no, he had me uber?

939
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 2: Ew he had you uber? What you We didn't think

940
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 2: that that was a big deal. I didn't think that

941
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 2: was a big deal. But now they're putting it in

942
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 2: my head that that's fucking lame. But I'm not concerned

943
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 2: with that, right and I am.

944
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: Dating is a different beast for women.

945
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 3: And if a guy doesn't acknowledge that he's trying to

946
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 3: beat you in a conversation, he's a real piece of shit.

947
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:41,880
Speaker 1: To me.

948
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you can't acknowledge that we're If you can't acknowledge,

949
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:46,760
Speaker 2: it's different.

950
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 3: And because you have all these like sad boys, I

951
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 3: don't know. I hate to acknowledge like online people, but

952
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 3: like you see it online, like the comments are like

953
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 3: I put up like my special.

954
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: I have a special on Netflix.

955
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 3: It's a thirty seven in single and it's there's a

956
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 3: part where I talk about the ick. I started talking

957
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 3: about the ick in twenty twenty one. Yeah, and I

958
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 3: was like it was because a friend of mine. She

959
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 3: was like she wouldn't fuck a guy who wore khakis.

960
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 3: And I was like, that was it khakis? That's why

961
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 3: you're out. And she's like, yeah, it's like one thing

962
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 3: and you're out. And then I was like, oh, that's crazy.

963
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 3: I was like I would never have that. And then

964
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,399
Speaker 3: so then I started asking people on the road what's

965
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 3: the one thing? And then I found out the ick

966
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 3: from Love Island, UK. They were saying that and I

967
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'll use that and I was like,

968
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 3: does anyone have like an ick? And like people, I

969
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 3: was like, it's one thing where you were like I'm done.

970
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 3: So I went around the country collecting ix and you know,

971
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 3: so I had the bit. The bit had the beginning

972
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: and an end and in the middle. It was a

973
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 3: fun way to like interact with the crowd.

974
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 1: I love that, so I kept doing it. I started

975
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: collecting them.

976
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 3: So on the special like I talk about like these

977
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 3: very specific ones that I heard on the road, but

978
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 3: also my perspective of like I have no relation to it,

979
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 3: Like there isn't one thing a woman could do to

980
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 3: make me, not like want to fuck her, you know,

981
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 3: Like so that's the whole bit.

982
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: But you know, I forgot why we were talking about this.

983
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 2: Just women the way women think and men acknowledging like different.

984
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 3: Right the comments for men being like, yeah, these losers

985
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 3: would be like any woman who wouldn't have sex with

986
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 3: you for sitting crisscross apple sauce, this.

987
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 1: Is real, is a real uh elitist you know they

988
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: do all. You know, it's a real you know, shallow person.

989
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 3: Any all, you won't have sex with me because I

990
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: have a you know, anyone who would get the ick

991
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 3: from a velkral wall is a shallow person. I'm like, no,

992
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 3: you're not acknowledging that when women go on dates, they

993
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,919
Speaker 3: don't have to be attracted to you, Like the ick

994
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 3: comes from giving chance after chance for someone that checks

995
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 3: a lot of boxes for you, and then they do

996
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 3: the one thing that they're like, I'm I'm out. And that's

997
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: a funny predict because I don't go on a day

998
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 3: with a woman that I'm not attracted to.

999
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 1: That's just my penis won't let me leave the house.

1000
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 3: Oh, it's just the way it is, you know, I mean,

1001
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 3: like you said, do men think with their dick in

1002
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 3: for dating to go on the day with you.

1003
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, my penis is a very strong dictator.

1004
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: You cannot leave the house unless my penis wants to

1005
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 3: leave the house. But that's also that's good and that's bad.

1006
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 3: It's good because you're on a day with a guy

1007
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,319
Speaker 3: you know is attracted you.

1008
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 2: Right.

1009
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: It's bad because that might be the only reason I'm

1010
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: on the day with you.

1011
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:37,760
Speaker 2: Right, And then you go at the back alley dating happening, right.

1012
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 1: And now they're trying to fuck. But like then then

1013
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: you're on the date.

1014
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 3: Being like, well, you know, they they seem to have

1015
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: friends and they have a good job, and my friends said,

1016
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 3: they really are cool, but it takes a minute for

1017
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:48,399
Speaker 3: them to open up.

1018
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: And now you're three dates in with someone you've hated.

1019
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 2: Can I tell you a funny meme I saw?

1020
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: Sure.

1021
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 2: It says these girls won't date a man because he

1022
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 2: lives with his mom, but they'll date a man that

1023
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 2: lives with his wife.

1024
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: Right.

1025
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 2: It seems pretty on part of me not saying all

1026
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: women are like that, but we just have we're complex creatures.

1027
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 2: I feel like the men are very simple, yeah, and

1028
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 2: we are very.

1029
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 1: Complex, am I attracted, so I go.

1030
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,240
Speaker 3: So that's like when those guys are saying your shallow,

1031
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 3: it's like, no, you're not acknowledging. Like, no one's saying

1032
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 3: you that a guy who he has a Alkir wallet.

1033
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: Shouldn't be fucked.

1034
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 3: We're saying that this woman didn't want to fuck a

1035
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,479
Speaker 3: guy who had an Alkir walt.

1036
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: One woman's is another woman's husband.

1037
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 2: Totally.

1038
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: That's like, that's what makes a bit fun, That's what

1039
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:41,959
Speaker 1: makes X fun.

1040
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 2: Like, you guys do have it easier, though.

1041
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to.

1042
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 2: You know, we have to step in with all of

1043
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: these things happening, and you guys get to step in

1044
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 2: and kind of just like yam who I am, and

1045
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 2: we have to just accept it. Whereas like we go

1046
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 2: through this constant it's like you have to be independent,

1047
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 2: but you have to make me feel like you're actually

1048
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 2: that I'm taking care of you. You need to have

1049
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 2: a full time hustle, but like, come home, take care

1050
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 2: of these kids.

1051
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,280
Speaker 1: You need a full time hustle and cook and clean.

1052
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 1: That's kind of kind of nineteen fifties.

1053
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 2: You would think we evolved, but we haven't. And by

1054
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 2: the way, if you don't feel this way like congratulations,

1055
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 2: like I would listen to.

1056
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 3: No, I mean, like listen, there's pros and cons to everything.

1057
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to, you know, compare plights. I don't

1058
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 3: think that's helpful. I acknowledge. Yeah, it's a different game

1059
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 3: you're playing. You know, this is chest and checkers.

1060
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 2: I'm going to call in with my next DM.

1061
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 1: Please and do it right now. Tell you whether.

1062
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm already sitting day five.

1063
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: I want five.

1064
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 2: I want to see dat five shitting bricks.

1065
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 3: This guy who plays for you know, he's got training

1066
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 3: camp right now. I don't know what type of sport Hockey, no, baseball.

1067
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: No, I'm not telling you any skateboarding. Where can people

1068
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 2: find you before we sign off at.

1069
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 3: Jared Freed on Instagram Wizard of ha on TikTok if

1070
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,800
Speaker 3: you search, Yeah, I was given the nickname the Wizard

1071
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 3: of Hawes and it's become I give to say it

1072
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 3: all the time.

1073
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:18,439
Speaker 2: I like it.

1074
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 3: Jared Freed on Everything, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok is Wizard of

1075
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 3: hop But if you search Jared Freed, I come up

1076
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 3: and I'm on the road. Okay, so all over this

1077
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,320
Speaker 3: country I'm doing a so my specials out on Netflix

1078
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 3: thirty seven.

1079
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:34,320
Speaker 1: In a single.

1080
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: I have a new special I just taped in December

1081
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 3: that is an hour story about going to the beach

1082
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:40,320
Speaker 3: with my parents.

1083
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 2: Amazing.

1084
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: I hope that's going to be on a streamer. We'll see, Okay.

1085
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 3: And now I'm touring a new hour that I've been

1086
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 3: working on since December and it's getting better. That's not

1087
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 3: there yet, but it's getting better. And it's about going

1088
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,479
Speaker 3: to Europe alone and being forty in single, it's I'm

1089
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 3: talking more about dating because that's what's going on in

1090
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,760
Speaker 3: my life and how much I hated going to Europe

1091
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: alone and I didn't fuck one woman.

1092
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:13,240
Speaker 1: Uh so my sad ten day alone journey.

1093
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: So it's called the Table for One Tour and I

1094
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 3: think it's a very fun hour.

1095
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 2: It sounds amazing.

1096
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like my parents are like, why would

1097
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 1: you go to Europe alone? That was like the first question.

1098
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, you get went down, that didn't do anything.

1099
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: So that's the stand up.

1100
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 3: And when I do stand up, it's for the whole room,

1101
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 3: Like I want everyone to have funk, so like I'm

1102
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 3: not there to like fuck with you. It's just a

1103
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,919
Speaker 3: fun show and bring your friends. I always tell people

1104
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 3: bring their friends because.

1105
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 1: And your parents.

1106
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,879
Speaker 3: You can bring your parents great. I love when people

1107
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 3: bring their parents to my shows.

1108
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 1: And uh, the U podcast.

1109
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 3: I think everyone listening to this show would get value

1110
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 3: from subscribing to the UP podcast, whether that be on

1111
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 3: YouTube or any podcast app.

1112
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: We're really good at what we do, so.

1113
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 2: I think I'm obsessed with anything that beches does.

1114
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 3: So Betches is the best I you know, listen, that's Uh.

1115
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 3: That's been the greatest pleasure of my life is working

1116
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 3: with Betches and being able to like be with, like,

1117
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,800
Speaker 3: you know, three friends that I've gotten to watch their

1118
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,799
Speaker 3: careers grow and they've been a part of making my

1119
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: career grow. So it's really a sweet familial thing.

1120
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 2: So good. I'm very congratulations on everything that you're doing.

1121
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 2: You guys, Thank you for listening to another episode of

1122
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 2: the Give Them a La Podcast. I'm going to catch

1123
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 2: you guys on Monday for the bonus and again next week. Bye.