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Speaker 1: I want to introduce my guest today. She's a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine. We've known each other for a few years now,

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Speaker 1: and I really respect and love her work. And she

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Speaker 1: is a pioneer and she does things for the first

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Speaker 1: time for a lot of people. She's an actress, she's

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Speaker 1: a producer, she's a writer and a creator. She is

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Speaker 1: an author. And she has a recurring role on the

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Speaker 1: second season of Doll Face. Oh, I'm excited to see that.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, I make out with people. What a surprise.

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Speaker 1: Another girl's not you? Sorry, no, no, that's fine. That's fine. Actually,

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Speaker 1: since I'm straight. You also have a first look deal

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Speaker 1: at Universal Television Alternative Studio, and your production company is

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Speaker 1: called Unicorn Island Productions. And and you're developing a Netflix

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Speaker 1: series with Kenya Barris. Oh, that looks good. And you

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Speaker 1: have a new book that is about to be released

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Speaker 1: or about to be announced or released announced, and you

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Speaker 1: may or may not learn the title of that during

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Speaker 1: this episode. It's called be a Triangle. You may you

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Speaker 1: may you may learned the title of the book. It

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Speaker 1: is called Me. I didn't even introduce you yet. Can

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Speaker 1: you please shut the funk up? Please welcome Lily Say

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Speaker 1: Hi to me here. I'm so excited to my queen, baby, baby,

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Speaker 1: my queen again. This is the second time I do it.

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Speaker 1: Every time COVID can't stop me. The last time we kissed,

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Speaker 1: it was just supposed to be a little kiss like that,

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Speaker 1: and then you slipped to me the tongue like three

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Speaker 1: or four times. That was the plan. I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to see you. We actually have a little kind of

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Speaker 1: circle of friends in comments. Yes, absolutely, And when did

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Speaker 1: I see you last at Charlie's Charlie's event and you

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Speaker 1: gave me some great advice about getting in shape that

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Speaker 1: I took what you were like just smaller meals and

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Speaker 1: you also because I believe for so long, So a

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Speaker 1: little bit of backstory, I've never been fit in my life.

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Speaker 1: I've always really struggled to be fit and take care

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Speaker 1: of my body because I've always focused on my career

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Speaker 1: and deteriorated my body and health. But when I met

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Speaker 1: Chelsea last she said, listen, you don't have to do

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Speaker 1: cardio all day long. She just told me, you don't

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Speaker 1: do cardio, you lift weights, you consistent, you eat smaller meals.

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Speaker 1: You just made it sound so attainable for me. Since then,

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Speaker 1: I've literally lost twenty pounds. What have you What have

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Speaker 1: you been doing seven intimate fasting? I been doing low

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Speaker 1: carb and I was just changing my diet, doing better

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Speaker 1: choices than doing weightlifting whenever I can. And how do

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Speaker 1: you feel mentally? I feel mentally phenomenal. I feel like

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Speaker 1: my confidence and it wasn't even just about how I looked.

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Speaker 1: I want to emphasize that I was always really happy

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Speaker 1: with how I looked. I thought, my body is my body,

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Speaker 1: and I love it. But now it's just like the

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Speaker 1: energy I have and the confidence I feel, and the

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Speaker 1: clarity I have in my mind, all that stuff, And

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Speaker 1: you really did inspire me. Oh well, I'd love to

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Speaker 1: hear that. And you know what, I just want to

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Speaker 1: say that, I want to reiterate that because when people

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Speaker 1: think about dieting and then people think of it externally,

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Speaker 1: but it does change your mental priority. It changes your

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Speaker 1: energy levels, it changes your happiness levels, your endorphins. You know,

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Speaker 1: when you feel good and you wake up and you're

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Speaker 1: not exhausted and you have even energy throughout the day,

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Speaker 1: it's it's a great feeling because you feel like you

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Speaker 1: can almost do anything. I would pick that over the

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Speaker 1: superficial stuff any day if you have to say when

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Speaker 1: you when you do this right, you'll either feel good

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Speaker 1: inside or I thought I'd be like inside inside. I

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Speaker 1: want to be a good inside because now when I

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Speaker 1: walk up the stairs, I'm not sweating. Yeah, I'm sweating,

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Speaker 1: but for other reasons. I'm not really sure why I'm

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Speaker 1: always sweating. It's because you have a joint in your mouth.

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Speaker 1: It's well, that doesn't really make you sweat. I mean,

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Speaker 1: from somebody trying to be relatable with drugs, I don't

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Speaker 1: know how it feels like, you know. I was just

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Speaker 1: about to say, have you ever smoked a joy and

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Speaker 1: sweats when they smoke a joy? I only had to

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Speaker 1: experience once I got really high for the first time.

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Speaker 1: It was horrible and I tripped out so bad, And

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Speaker 1: the second time I've been with me, I would have

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Speaker 1: never when I and then when I went to your tour,

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Speaker 1: you gave me. You gave me an edible and you

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Speaker 1: told me to take half of it, and did you?

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Speaker 1: I took one quarter of it and what happened? I

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Speaker 1: felt nothing? Okay, well that's because there's that's like one milligram.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, if you want to get high again. I

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Speaker 1: will arrange what you're going to take. Everyone says these

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Speaker 1: words to me. You should know the Snoop Dogg was

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Speaker 1: also like, okay, I'll get you. I'm like, you are

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Speaker 1: not getting me high, Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg came to

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Speaker 1: do my show once and the building that we operated

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Speaker 1: the show out of smelled like marijuana until the next fall.

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Speaker 1: He came to my show and the green room was

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Speaker 1: basically a hot box situation, and then on the way

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Speaker 1: out he just took a poster off the wall of

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Speaker 1: me and took it home. I love him, He's amazing,

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Speaker 1: but I was like, sir, you will not be getting

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Speaker 1: me high. You know who get who also has great

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Speaker 1: weight is Wi Khalifa. He has the best weed. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I would die. Yeah. We were once at

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Speaker 1: a dinner and Shania Twain wanted to we were all smoking,

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Speaker 1: and well, it was in my dinner that I was

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Speaker 1: filming for Netflix. So I'm not name dropping because it

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Speaker 1: was an actual TV show, so shut it down. It

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Speaker 1: was Shania Twain. I think I've told the story on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. But Shania Twain, Chill Scott, the guy from

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Speaker 1: Imagine Dragons and Wiz Khalifa and Shania Twain. I smoked

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Speaker 1: one hit of it, walked into the bathroom in one

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Speaker 1: of my guest rooms and couldn't find my way back

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Speaker 1: to my house. I was like, what room am I

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Speaker 1: in and where? And when I came out Shania, I

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Speaker 1: was like, Shania here. We passed the joy to her

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Speaker 1: and she's like, oh no, I don't touch the stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you need it more than any of us.

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Speaker 1: You better fucking smoke this now. My first experience was horrible.

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Speaker 1: I forgot. I was convinced that my tongue wouldn't in

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Speaker 1: my mouth anymore. So I I know that, and I

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Speaker 1: couldn't remember my tongue back in my mouth. It wouldn't

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Speaker 1: fit in my brand, it wouldn't fit. Yeah, well, you

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Speaker 1: know what. Cannabis isn't for everybody. I'll just take vodka shots.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. Um, Katherine, how are you doing today?

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Speaker 1: I'm doing great. I'm I'm doing very great. Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you're about to climax. It's like, I go,

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Speaker 1: this is great. I'm feeling very great, and I go,

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Speaker 1: that's how I'm happy. It's like sweater weather. Finally, I

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Speaker 1: know it's so nice that it's not so hot. I

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Speaker 1: hate it. I'm wearing a sweater and a jacket. Chelsea's

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Speaker 1: wear your T shirt and I'm just wearing a thong.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I got to wear like Vampi lipstick. It's

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Speaker 1: like fully fall. I'm making myself believe it's fully fall,

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Speaker 1: even though it'll probably be ninety this weekend. I like

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Speaker 1: have people who take seasons seriously, especially in l A

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Speaker 1: where there are not ya. I was on the East

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Speaker 1: Coast and I was like, we were in Maine and

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Speaker 1: I was like, uh, the smell of the sea, Like

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Speaker 1: that is my that is my like home, you know,

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Speaker 1: that is my special spot. And I and like fried

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Speaker 1: clams and just being on the water and by a

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Speaker 1: wharf and eating and I was like, oh the East

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Speaker 1: Coast and the leaves were changing and I'm like I

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Speaker 1: love it here. And my boyfriend was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you are totally like you have this energy about you

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Speaker 1: that you feel like I could see it. He's like,

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Speaker 1: this is your spot. I'm like, yeah, the East Coast

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Speaker 1: is my spot anyway. But that's why I live in

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles. So what do we have on tap for today? Catherine?

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Speaker 1: We have a theme of major life transitions, some career changes,

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Speaker 1: engagements or maybe broken engagements, and coming out or opening

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Speaker 1: up to family. It's a lot. Y'all really catered this

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Speaker 1: to me. Huh well, yeah, yeah, exactly. We want to

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Speaker 1: we want to curtail our episode. Are very special guests.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that so much. Great, and let's just take

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Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll come back with some callers. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're back, you guys. We're back from our commercial break

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Speaker 1: with my dear friend Lily Say, who I just love

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Speaker 1: because I just love your energy, energy and your upbeat

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Speaker 1: attitude and your beautiful smile and all of it. I

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Speaker 1: drink a lot of energy drinks. What kind? They don't

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Speaker 1: sponsor me, so I can't say so, you can't say so.

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Speaker 1: We'll never We'll never, fucking no. I love how that's

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Speaker 1: our our behavior is now with people like what do

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Speaker 1: you use for your skin? I'm like, I won't tell you.

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Speaker 1: I won't tell you until they pay me. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: we're gonna start with some callers and we're going to

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Speaker 1: give them some feedback. Who do we have, Katherine, what's

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Speaker 1: going on? Our first email today comes from Jeremy. He

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Speaker 1: says dear Chelsea. So, like so many people right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm out of work. I'm a singer and an actor,

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Speaker 1: and I've done shows in New York and tours and

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Speaker 1: cruise ships, and before this pandemic hit, I was so

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Speaker 1: excited about where my career was headed. In everything stopped,

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Speaker 1: so I panicked and went back to college. By going back,

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Speaker 1: I realized that there is life beyond my career. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to give up on my dreams, but I

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Speaker 1: also don't want to be stuck in a position again

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Speaker 1: where I have no work. I just don't know what

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Speaker 1: the right thing is to do. Any advice you have

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Speaker 1: for me in this career transition would be so appreciated.

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Speaker 1: Thanks from a big fan. Jeremy Okay, Jeremy here, He's

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Speaker 1: not This was just an email. Oh god, I wish

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Speaker 1: I understood how this podcast worked. Whenever I asked for

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Speaker 1: the caller, they're not there. And then whenever I respond,

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Speaker 1: like it's a write and they're on the phone, you're

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Speaker 1: doing thank you, thank you. Do you want to start

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Speaker 1: with I? I listen. I relate to the struggle so

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Speaker 1: so hard as someone who also was like I want

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Speaker 1: to make art and I'm creative, and my Indian parents

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Speaker 1: were like, shut the f off, that's not going to happen.

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Speaker 1: It's not a real job. Get a real job. So

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Speaker 1: here here's my advice. I think you live in a

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Speaker 1: very very unique time where there's so many opportunities to

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Speaker 1: create things. We live in a very privileged time in

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Speaker 1: that way, right, there's so many platforms, there's so many

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Speaker 1: ways to avoid the gatekeepers. Make your own off, build

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Speaker 1: a following. However, that takes time and energy, a lot

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Speaker 1: of hustle, and a lot of opportunities. So what I

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Speaker 1: did is I had a job. I also really hard

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Speaker 1: to on the side, also do my art, also work

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Speaker 1: on it, learned to edit, learned to shoot, learn how

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Speaker 1: to do comedy. I had two full time jobs for

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Speaker 1: a really long time, and that's how I built my audience.

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Speaker 1: I'm want to say, you don't have to follow the

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Speaker 1: conventional like I need to get hired as an actor

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Speaker 1: to do this anymore. Make your own sketches, create your

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Speaker 1: own content, and I think the opportunity for that today

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Speaker 1: is better than ever before. Is he an entertainer? Is

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Speaker 1: that what he said? Yeah, he's an actor and a singer.

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Speaker 1: Oh I see yeah, exactly right. This is the best

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Speaker 1: time in the world. TikTok baby, yeah, tickety talk, get

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Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, but it's not easy. I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people think like, oh, I'll just post the

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Speaker 1: videoesn't get it following It's it's a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: But if you want it, get the job that pays

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Speaker 1: the bills, and then do the job you love when

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Speaker 1: you have the time after the job that pays the bills. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But I also would say, like, if you made the

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Speaker 1: effort to go to school and you're into school, you

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Speaker 1: can do all of it. It's on same time, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: get the education you want and then supplemented with all

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Speaker 1: of this stuff, because it's going to be a huge

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Speaker 1: learning curve anyway to learn how to like you know,

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Speaker 1: register on TikTok, on social media, in acting in all

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Speaker 1: of that stuff, and to make your mark. So it's

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Speaker 1: going to be a learning curve anyway, So why not

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Speaker 1: also be supplementing that with an education. I also think,

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Speaker 1: and this is like a nerdy thing, but I think

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Speaker 1: school is dope. I missed school. I want to go

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Speaker 1: to I would like to go to college. I would

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Speaker 1: like to go to school. I think when I was

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Speaker 1: in school, I'm like, but now I'm like, I would

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Speaker 1: love to go. I would like to go live on campus.

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Speaker 1: How do we in a fraternity and a sorority because

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Speaker 1: I would like to tell men what the fuck they're

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Speaker 1: doing wrong and try and change the trajectory of their

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Speaker 1: bad behavior. And I would also like to be involved

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Speaker 1: in sorority life so that I can steer girls towards

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Speaker 1: having a little bit more self esteem, a little bit

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Speaker 1: more self confidence, and not taking any fucking ship. That's right.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, that's a side note. We both want to

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Speaker 1: go back to college. A fun factor to wrap this

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Speaker 1: all up. As a Canadian, I didn't think sororities and

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Speaker 1: fraternities were real. I thought there are only movies until

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Speaker 1: I was in my mid twenties. They actually shouldn't. You know.

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Speaker 1: It is kind of an anti it's an antiquated notion

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Speaker 1: because you know, it's just exclusionary. It's excluding son because

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Speaker 1: people don't get in right, So forget it. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be in a fraternity. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be in a sorority. What I really want to do

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Speaker 1: is just go back to college. But the thing is,

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Speaker 1: if I went back to school, I would end up

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Speaker 1: having an inappropriate relationship with somebody that was eighteen or seventeen,

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Speaker 1: and that's illegal. Seventeen is illegal, I know that, and

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Speaker 1: eighteen is not illegal. Eighteen is legal, So you can

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Speaker 1: have relationship with eighteen year old, but eighte year old

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Speaker 1: can't drink here. That's right, Okay, America? Hello, are you

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Speaker 1: just learning that the legal age for US is nineteen?

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Speaker 1: The agent in America's twenty one? Ridiculous? You could do

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Speaker 1: anything else before Sherlock. Our country is fucking upside down

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Speaker 1: and twisted Americans. I tell you, I know Canadians is

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Speaker 1: where it's at. That's why I'm going to marry Lily

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Speaker 1: so I can wear citizenship. I brought the ring. You know,

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Speaker 1: careers in general, I feel when I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: I had this very linear idea of what my career

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Speaker 1: in life would be. I would go to school, get

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Speaker 1: a piece of paper that said I was good at something,

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Speaker 1: get a job, do that job forever, and that was

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Speaker 1: going to be life. That's not real life. That's not

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Speaker 1: real life at all. I got a psych degree, which

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Speaker 1: I it's a paperweight right now at my house. It's useless.

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Speaker 1: I never use it. But that's cool, that's not useless.

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing about psych is that you do

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Speaker 1: all this reading and studying and at the end of

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Speaker 1: the fifty page chapter goes, but also, none of this

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Speaker 1: may be true. That's what I can't get on board with. Well,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? They'll have all these theories about

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Speaker 1: like why the thing people behave that way, Then the

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Speaker 1: last paragraph of the book will be like, but also

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Speaker 1: this is all up for debate and may not actually

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Speaker 1: be accurate. Yeah, you know what I mean, right, Maybe

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Speaker 1: I use my psych degree a little bit like when

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Speaker 1: I'm flirting to try to trick people. I don't know anyways,

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Speaker 1: But the point I'm making is I got a psych degree.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to be a counselor can

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Speaker 1: you believe that? And then I discovered YouTube and I

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Speaker 1: made YouTube videos and then I was like, this is

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing for the rest of my life, I guess.

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Speaker 1: And then from there I wrote a book and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I guess I'm an author. Then from

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Speaker 1: there I went on a tour and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm a performer. And then I got a

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Speaker 1: late night show and I thought, this is what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing for the rest of my The point I'm making

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Speaker 1: is my career has changed so many times, and each

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Speaker 1: time I was so sure this is the thing I'm

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Speaker 1: doing forever, and then life slaps across the face and

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Speaker 1: you realize that you don't have to narrow yourself into

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Speaker 1: one direction. You can do it all, and you can

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Speaker 1: do all the things that you think are interesting, and

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Speaker 1: life will probably force it to be that way. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think anytime you think you're set up for something

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Speaker 1: and it's going to be for a long time, life

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Speaker 1: throws you a curveball. I know, because for my experience,

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Speaker 1: it's like I always go into things thinking, funk, how

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Speaker 1: long is this going to go on for? Like it's

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Speaker 1: the opposite thing, like I don't like to be I

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Speaker 1: have a commitment. I'm commitment phobic in that way with

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Speaker 1: with regard to career and like signing a contract for

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Speaker 1: more than two years, Like I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm gonna want to be in

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Speaker 1: this country. I don't know if I want to still

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Speaker 1: live in l A. And I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: beholden to anyone, you know, I have major issues about that,

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Speaker 1: Like I need freedom to move around, bounce around whenever

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Speaker 1: I want. So I have kind of the opposite thing

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Speaker 1: with you, but again in multiple different ways, like doing

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Speaker 1: so many different things when I feel them. You know,

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Speaker 1: obviously that's a luxury to have, and not everybody starts

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Speaker 1: out their career like that. But the more of a

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Speaker 1: foundation you lay, the more options you have later on

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Speaker 1: down the road. So you know, having an education, having talent,

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Speaker 1: having all these different modes of making money and making

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Speaker 1: income and attracting people to you is always going to

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Speaker 1: pay back in spades. So I also think another big

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Speaker 1: thing is you can't grow and stay the same, like

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Speaker 1: that can't happen. And I think with Late Night, for me,

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Speaker 1: I was so excited about Late Night, and I really

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Speaker 1: believe I can do anything after that because it was

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Speaker 1: so exhausting in every single way, and I just feel

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Speaker 1: like everything I do now was a breeze, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: But when I did Late Night, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a historic thing. This is for representation, you know,

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Speaker 1: in thirty years, you know, the first Indian woman. But

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Speaker 1: then when I was in that environment, I think something

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Speaker 1: changed with the new when I thought I could be

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Speaker 1: moving the needle in a better, more effective way. I

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Speaker 1: learned the tools I learned from Late Night, but I

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Speaker 1: very quickly learned that I was only going to be

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Speaker 1: able to do so much in that setup. And now

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Speaker 1: I have ambitions to be the person who makes the

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00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,680
Speaker 1: decisions about the representation, not just the shiny person that

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Speaker 1: is the representation. And so I feel like everything happens

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Speaker 1: for a reason, And when your career shifts, it's because

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Speaker 1: you're meant to do something else and you're meant to

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Speaker 1: contribute in a different way. That's what I'm telling myself,

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Speaker 1: but that's also what we talked about on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: A lot is like instead of resisting the change, accepting

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Speaker 1: the change and going Okay, this is this is over,

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Speaker 1: this doesn't work for me or whatever, and moving on

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Speaker 1: to the next thing with the same amount of enthusiasm,

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Speaker 1: the same amount of interest, knowing that you know, instead

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Speaker 1: of looking in the rear of your mirror, which so

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Speaker 1: many people are so guilty lot of, like I wish

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Speaker 1: I could have, should have, would have. It's over. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. You cannot change history. So it's better to

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Speaker 1: just move forward with a hundred and fifty percent of

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Speaker 1: enthusiasm and being like, Okay, I'm gonna nail this, and

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Speaker 1: then everything kind of always ends up lining up for

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00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,520
Speaker 1: you in the right way. I completely agree. Thus far,

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Speaker 1: you have a survival rate of surviving every single thing

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00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 1: that has happened in your life one percent. You've gone

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00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 1: through every single thing. Yeah, that's a great point. I'm

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00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 1: gonna start making it. Yeah. Remember we had our first

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Speaker 1: late night kiss at the beginning of your show. We did.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Lily was like, and then we had like

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Speaker 1: twenty others off camera. Well, yeah, because Lily wouldn't leave

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Speaker 1: me alone. She wouldn't get off my jock. So typical.

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Speaker 1: Chelsea always comes through no matter what I asked her, literally,

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Speaker 1: no matter what I asked. I was like, Chelsea, I

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Speaker 1: need you to come to my show. I need to

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Speaker 1: kiss someone. She's like, cool, be there, I'll be there.

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Speaker 1: I'll be there on Tuesday. She's a real one, a

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Speaker 1: real one. Yeah. Yeah, I try. Yeah. I hadn't meant

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Speaker 1: that day out of respect for our situation. I would

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Speaker 1: never do that because I did not I know. Last

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Speaker 1: night we were flying home from New York and my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend was like, just my breath smell. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, honey, I just keep my mask on all

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Speaker 1: the time because I love the smell of my own breath.

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00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 1: That we're disgusting, we're all, but we're all so disgusting

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Speaker 1: that I don't want to smell other people anymore. I

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Speaker 1: just I'm going to continue wearing that mask for years

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00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,359
Speaker 1: because I like my breath, and well, it mostly smells

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00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,439
Speaker 1: like cannabis, but that is a smell that comforts me,

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00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 1: and I like my mask smells. So the other day

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00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 1: I took someone's mask to borrow, like a friend of

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00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,320
Speaker 1: mine was like here, yeah, of course. I was like,

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00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 1: how do I get delta the delta area quickly? And

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00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 1: they gave it to me and I was like, oh, no,

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00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't like that smell. The biggest joke

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00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: of this entire situation is you're supposed to wash your

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00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 1: mask every time you use it. Come on, come on,

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00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 1: that's pridiculous. Let's let's just settle the disposable ones. Those

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00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 1: little blue and white ones. Are you I wear those? Yeah?

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00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 1: Those like you know, doctor ones, not THEE but the

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00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 1: little thin blue and white ones. Oh no, I have

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00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 1: my own off mask. No, No, yeah, I say I'm not. No,

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00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: I keep thinking it's gonna be over any day. You

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00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 1: need to just wake up and get with the times.

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00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,120
Speaker 1: It's never over a kid, it's never getting over. It's

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Speaker 1: the pandemic forever. And I don't know if you can

398
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,479
Speaker 1: afford that sample. I'm so sorry if you can't. Okay,

399
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure we can. I'm sure we can. It's a podcast.

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00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,959
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't we be able to Chelse? I like to

401
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 1: I like the idea of putting in my own money

402
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: to buy the licensing rights for my podcast. My heart

403
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 1: doesn't do it. I have to put up the money.

404
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, guys, I want to buy this song

405
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,160
Speaker 1: for fifty grand. Okay, well, I hope that helps you.

406
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 1: I had touch based with us and let us know

407
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:19,400
Speaker 1: what happened. Jeremy, Jeremy. Okay, who do we have next? Okay?

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00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,560
Speaker 1: Our next caller is Tara. She's forty and she lives

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00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 1: in California. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm forty years old

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00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 1: and I have been married for fifteen years to my

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00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: high school sweetheart. We've been together for the better part

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00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 1: of twenty five years. But when I envisioned my future,

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00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 1: I don't see it being with a man. I started

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00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,400
Speaker 1: having these feelings about two years ago, but recently they've

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00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 1: grown stronger and stronger. Well, the vision of my new

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00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,959
Speaker 1: life excites me, and I've told my husband, who's been

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00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 1: super supportive. I'm not sure how to tell my family

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00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 1: any advice, And I actually spoke to Tara. She had

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00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 1: written in before she talked to her husband. She said

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00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: they're going to stay married for the time being, and

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00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,000
Speaker 1: he's really completely horritive. But she's a really private person

422
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 1: that isn't really sure if her family needs to know.

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00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 1: So she's here with us right now and she can

424
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: tell you a little bit more about her situation. Hi, Terry,

425
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,879
Speaker 1: Hi Chelsea, I'm great, do you know Lily Lily Tara? Hi,

426
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 1: really nice to meet you and an awesome question. What

427
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 1: really awesome question. Yeah, it's good timing too because of

428
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 1: my special cast. Yes, oh perfect. Hi, I apologize. I'm

429
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,640
Speaker 1: not familiar with who you are, so don't apologize at all.

430
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,479
Speaker 1: Chelsea and I have very different demographs. Don't worry. I'm

431
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,360
Speaker 1: sure her audience has no idea. Who the funk I am,

432
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 1: so no worries. Yeah, so my situation, I guess everything's

433
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 1: been actually pretty great with my husband, but yeah, I'm

434
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: very private person. I don't I don't Instagram, I don't Twitter,

435
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 1: I don't anything. I google myself to make sure that

436
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 1: I can't find information on myself. And I have like

437
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 1: a big half Italian family, half Irish family, and it's

438
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 1: navigating telling them because my husband I've been together for

439
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,719
Speaker 1: so long and that's all that they know, and I

440
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 1: just don't want to have to explain myself. It's the questions,

441
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 1: the why when did you this? That, like I really

442
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: don't feel it's any other fucking business, and like it

443
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 1: is what it is. But there's gonna be family events

444
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 1: coming up, and it's just figuring out kind of how

445
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 1: to bob and weave through that. Right, Well, I'll let

446
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 1: you go, okay, experience. So my background is that at

447
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,439
Speaker 1: the tender age of thirties, I relate to you. At

448
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 1: the age of thirty, I came out is by So

449
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 1: don't don't at all feel like you're alone. There's a

450
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: whole bunch of us older folks who are like, we're

451
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 1: figuring things out and it's a lifelong journey and that's okay.

452
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 1: But you know what, I completely agree with the sentiment

453
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 1: of it is no one's business. And you don't need

454
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,400
Speaker 1: to explain yourself. And I think the most beautiful thing

455
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 1: that people can decide is that they don't need to

456
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: come out because they actually don't need to explain to

457
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,880
Speaker 1: anybody who they are. And I I'm so emotional hearing

458
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 1: your story because one of the only reasons I came

459
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 1: up was because I was in the public eye and

460
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 1: had a big fear that someone else would say it

461
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 1: before I would, and I wouldn't be able to live

462
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: with myself. But I remember thinking, why do I need

463
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: to tell like this extended group of friends, or this

464
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: extended group of ants and uncles, why do they need

465
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 1: to explain who I am. It's not like people come

466
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: out and straight. It's not only people have to tell

467
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: you something. I actually am straight. Like that doesn't happen, right,

468
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 1: And so I think this. I think you're a full

469
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 1: fledged adult. You have your own life, You are figuring

470
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 1: out who you are, and that's never gonna and that's

471
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: gonna keep happening. You don't really need to explain anything

472
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: to anyone. And I love the fact that your husband

473
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: is being supportive. I think that is wonderful. But I

474
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: think you don't really need to have a list of people,

475
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 1: decid need to tell all these people explain, and you

476
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 1: don't need to answer those questions. I think all you

477
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: need to do is make a choice and set boundaries.

478
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: And this is me straight up quoting my therapist, which

479
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 1: is just when people ask you those questions, which they will,

480
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 1: how did you know? But what about this? But what

481
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,160
Speaker 1: about your sex life? Hey, this is just where I'm

482
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,120
Speaker 1: at and I don't really need to explain, Like, let's

483
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: let's instead go have a drink, let's instead hang out.

484
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: I don't need to go through this entire process of

485
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: uprooting my past now to explain to you who I am.

486
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,239
Speaker 1: You just need to love who you are. If you

487
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: accept who you are, that's all that matters. Truly. Yeah,

488
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: I'm totally fine with it. And there's just such a

489
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: rhetoric now around people just micromanaging their sexuality of their this,

490
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 1: and they're back and I'm like, I'm just like you. Yeah.

491
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 1: And it's also like when you're thinking, I feel so

492
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: much for teens when they're coming because I'm like, I

493
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 1: think they still need the support of their parents and

494
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: they still need to be taken after and when you're younger,

495
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: but when you're an adult. It's kind of like, if

496
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: you want to celebrate who I am, great, if you don't,

497
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 1: I have a fully functioning life already, and I'm doing

498
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: my own thing and I'm gonna be great either way.

499
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 1: So that's kind of the silver lining I discovered of

500
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: coming out later in life, where I didn't need to

501
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: be scared that I was gonna get kicked out. I

502
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 1: didn't need to be scared that I was gonna get disowned.

503
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: It was like, I already have an entire universe of

504
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 1: my own, and so you can be part of it,

505
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: and we can party and go to Pride together and

506
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: listen to Lady Gaga box and be dope, or you

507
00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 1: can be over there and I'll be doing that by

508
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: myself over here. Yes, very true, very true. I love

509
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: that you're talking about being a lesbian and you're wearing

510
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: a shirt that says, hey, pussy Sofia. Everyone has golden girl, right, yeah,

511
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: we do. Who's your who's your inner golden girl. I'm

512
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: not going to know any of the names of them

513
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 1: because I'm too young and you guys are acting really

514
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 1: old right now. Sorry, Sorry, Dorothy is mine. There's one

515
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: that like drinks a lot, right, Rue McClanahan, Okay, I

516
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 1: think that's me. I forget what her name was. What

517
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: was her name, Tara Dorothy Blanche You don't drink a lot,

518
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 1: kind of not really, but you know, I enjoy White

519
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 1: is the airhead, she's the dipsy doode, all of the bunch. Yeah,

520
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends like her. I have

521
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: my grandma. Anyway, back to you, Tara. First of all,

522
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: I think you should have a lot of gratitude for

523
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: the fact that you are with a man that is

524
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: as understanding as he is, and he's cool with that.

525
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: He understands that everything's good. Right. Oh yeah, I mean

526
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: it's we're still living together, we're staying married. It's just

527
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: because logistically we've been together so long it will probably

528
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: just be a nightmare. We're really fortunate to we have

529
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: a friend who very close mutual friend who's a divorce attorney,

530
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 1: so when it does have to happen, we can have

531
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: her mediate through things. And yeah, he's just he's I mean,

532
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's confusing and hurtful, hurts him because we've

533
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 1: been together pretty much since we were kids, so it's

534
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: kind of all he knows. It's somewhat all I know, besides,

535
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: you know, a little small breaks here and there. But yeah,

536
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: he's just he's really been awesome. He's my best friend.

537
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: He's one of the people I've known in my life

538
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: the longest that I'm not related to. So yeah, and

539
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: it seems to me like that, really, is the only

540
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 1: person that you owe any explanation too? Is the person

541
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: that you are living with, or married to, or in

542
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: a relationship with. I agree with Lily, but I mean,

543
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: I think what you're saying is that you don't want

544
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: to even come out to your family, right, Um, No,

545
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: it's not. I mean it's kind of along lines of

546
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 1: what Lelie said. I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation,

547
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: and when the time comes and when I see them,

548
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: like my grandma two and she's sucking sharp as a button,

549
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: But is she really going to understand, Like, oh wow,

550
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 1: how do you twenty five years into a relationship just

551
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,199
Speaker 1: decide the rule of thumb is to always lie to

552
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: the grandparents. You be honest to everyone else, you always

553
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: lie to the grandparents. You're like, I'm not going to

554
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 1: be the person that gives you the heart attack, Like,

555
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: so I lied to all the randparents that I feel

556
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: like just common like, I feel like that's fine. I

557
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: would send her pictures of my dogs and she'd like,

558
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: don't send me pictures you have sucking dogs. Have kids

559
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: and send me pictures and the kids and lie about

560
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,479
Speaker 1: that too. Just send random kids. I'm telling you had

561
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 1: a cabbage patch baby, and send her a picture of that.

562
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: Say I just got this. It might be acceptable. Actually, yeah,

563
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 1: I would say. I couldn't agree more. I don't understand

564
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: why gay people have to come out. You don't have

565
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: to come out. It's like straight people don't have to

566
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: declare that their their straightness. And I think you've made

567
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 1: up your mind. It sounds like you understand what's going on,

568
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: and that is just the first step in a series

569
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 1: of steps that you're going to be take. Gig, you've

570
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: made the biggest first one. I totally agree about not

571
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 1: coming out to your family. It's not their business. This

572
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: is your life and this is your show. You know,

573
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: you have to make yourself happy, make yourr Yeah, this

574
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 1: is dear Tara. You have to make yourself happy. And Indian,

575
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm saying it to Indian. It's my fault. I said

576
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: it to Indian. I'm from New York and my mom

577
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: just pop Indian people say thought and I knew I

578
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: was going to make that mistake and them and when

579
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: I'm around Indian people, So it's very confusing for all

580
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: three of the last saying, I know we have to

581
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: move over. The last thing I really want to say,

582
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: just from my heart is after listening to you and

583
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 1: Chelsea speak, Chelsea mentioned gratitude, and I do want to

584
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 1: just insider a little unicorness and say, I know this

585
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: is super hard and super difficult and probably really stressful,

586
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: but there's something really awesome about saying I spent so

587
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 1: many years with this person who is awesome, and now

588
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 1: I get to explore different part of myself and do

589
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: the best of both worlds and live all parts of myself,

590
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,719
Speaker 1: which a lot of people don't get to do. So

591
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: I think that's a really cool silver lining of you

592
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: just like living your truth. I'm a very close friend

593
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: I've known longer than my husband, and I went and

594
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 1: stayed with him and he had said, just because the

595
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: relationship is over doesn't mean it was bad. He said,

596
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: you guys had such a great time, you know, great

597
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: times together. Think of the things that you did the

598
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: things you grew together and those things that just helped

599
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: develop your character. He said, it doesn't make make it bad,

600
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 1: and I was like, you're right, and it was so true,

601
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 1: like very invested. Yeah, that's right, and hold on to

602
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 1: that because you're having an awakening of what you desire,

603
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: and that is also worth celebrating. To be in touch

604
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: enough with your emotions to do something about it, and

605
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: to be in touch with your feelings. So many people

606
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 1: are not able to do that. They'll go their whole

607
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: life and never do that, right, right, right, Yeah. The

608
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: only thing I'd really do cruise on is Reddit and

609
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: all cruise on the like late bloomer lesbian forums and

610
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: late bloomer lesbian By the way, there's a there's a

611
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: mass exodus of women leaving heterosexuality to be late bloomer lesbians,

612
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: late bloomer. They're like, so I'm twenty seven, and I'm all, okay,

613
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: all right, and like I'm twenty two. I don't know

614
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: what late was then, but okay. And there are some

615
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: people there who I just feel for because they straight

616
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: up will say I'm never going to come out. I

617
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: just I'm gonna live this life inside this body, and

618
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: I I couldn't like. It wasn't like I was gonna

619
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: wait for your guys your email and be like, well,

620
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: I can't come up to my husband yet. Chelsea dosn't

621
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 1: tell me what to do like it ate literally ated

622
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: my inside and I just I didn't tell anyone before

623
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 1: I told him. And he even said, he said, who

624
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: have you told? I said, I literally haven't told anyone.

625
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: That's probably why it bottled up so much inside of me.

626
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: It eats inside of you, for sure, totally sending you

627
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: all the love and life. Yeah. Yeah, I'm proud of

628
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: you already. You're gonna have a great time. Keep us

629
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: supposed to check back in with the podcast. Okay, I

630
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: know we just met with You're my hero. Okay, thanks

631
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: saying what a connection you guys. She's so cute. You

632
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: know I changed it. I was hopping on your bandwagon. Okay,

633
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: don't throw me under the button. We've got some waters

634
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: coming in right now. Oh my god, she really scrounged

635
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: him up. Finally, if you guys don't edit this part

636
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 1: of the podcast. Basically, Chelsea has me in a dungeon

637
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: chained up and water and I get some water and

638
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: they're like, we can we'll work on that. They're like,

639
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: here's a microphone, get to work, to work on the water.

640
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: It's like, is there a well around? Well, actually, we're

641
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: gonna need to work on the water because California is

642
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: gonna have none in about thirty days. Okay, anyway, onto

643
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: the next caller. What else we got Catherine to the next?

644
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 1: Our next caller is Jessica. She is on the phone

645
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: with us as well. Jessica says, Dear Chelsea, I'm having

646
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: a hard time rebuilding trust in my relationship after my

647
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: boyfriend proposed to me, I said no, and then he

648
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: broke up with me a week later. We got back

649
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: together just a couple of days after, but now I

650
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: feel like I can't trust what he says and his

651
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: feelings towards me. I don't know what to make of

652
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: anything and could really use him advice. Twenty four and

653
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: genetically predisposed to divorce Jessica. Okay, Hi, Jessica, Hi, how

654
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: are you guys? We're good? How are you doing? I'm good? Yeah,

655
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: well except for what's going on? Yeah there's that. Okay,

656
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: So what happened? So your boyfriend proposed to you? After

657
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: how many years together? We've been together about two years,

658
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: and we've known each other for close to ten so

659
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: it's been a while. We're both in our mid twenties,

660
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: so it didn't really seem like the perfect time. We

661
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: also didn't even live together or anything, so it's kind

662
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: of waiting on that. And then he totally obviously threw

663
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: me for a loop when he broke up with me

664
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: a little while later. So okay, but back up a little.

665
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: So he proposed to you and you said no on

666
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: the spot, like, how did you tell him that? How

667
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: did you turn him down? Yeah, it was pretty on

668
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: this spot. Had you ever discussed getting married prior to

669
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: this point. Yeah, we've talked about like getting married and

670
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: stuff like that a lot, but mostly in like a

671
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: hypothetical long ways away when we moved to Mars, we'll

672
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: get married. Got it right, exactly, So it's gonna happen

673
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: sooner than you think, Lily, so be careful. And he

674
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 1: didn't have a ring either, so I'm like, he proposed

675
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: without a ring. Yeah, it was kind of like a

676
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: heat of the moment, like passion type of thing. So yeah,

677
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: but now you guys are back together, Yeah, and we've

678
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 1: been together, so wait, so you said no? How did

679
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: you say it? What did you say You're like this

680
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: isn't right or yeah? I mean I was just basically

681
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: like no, like let's think about this a little bit

682
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: more like yeah, before like moving forward with that, but

683
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: now I don't really know how to trust what he

684
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: says he feels about me. Wait, so you said no

685
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: then he broke up with you and said, what, what

686
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: was the reason for breaking up with you because you

687
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: didn't want to marry him? Well, no, it actually didn't

688
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: really have anything to do with that. We were both

689
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: like some funny had a piece of paper and a pen.

690
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: I know, I know, it's so convoluted, but um, we

691
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: had both just quit smoking at the time, so emotions

692
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: were high and coping skills were very low, and we

693
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: kind of kept pickering. So it kind of led to

694
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: this like explosive moment of like I just can't do

695
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: this anymore. And then we took a couple of days

696
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 1: to cool off and he was like, yeah, I think

697
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: that we just need to talk things through and work

698
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: this out. Okay, it wasn't a breakup or was it?

699
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: Was it a let's take some time. It was at

700
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: the time, it was a breakup which turned into Was

701
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: it a we were on a break or was it

702
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: was it ross or was it not? Well? He said,

703
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: you know, like this is it, like I don't want

704
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: to talk to you anymore only to call me in

705
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: like a few days. What a mistake? You know, I

706
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: want to work this out. Okay? Well, so then why

707
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: do you feel like you can't trust him because cansidering

708
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: like how he's giving me like all of the run

709
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: rounds in the book, like I'm going to be with

710
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: you forever, I love you so much, all of this

711
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: telling me everything I want to hear, and at the

712
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 1: same time not being able to communicate shutting down, breaking

713
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: up with me. What am I supposed to make that? Right?

714
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: I think you guys are I think you guys have

715
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: been together for a long time and you're probably just

716
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: you're just going through a little bit of a rough patch.

717
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: It sounds like you have a pretty good thing going

718
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: with him, and that your communication just needs to be

719
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: a little bit maybe aided by a third party, like

720
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: a therapist. I mean, have you considered that going to

721
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: therapy together? Yeah, we both go to therapy individually, but

722
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: that's like totally something that I feel like would be

723
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: really beneficial. Yeah, I mean, you've been together for over

724
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: ten years, right, altogether, we've known each other for ten years.

725
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: A couple of therapy is really really good, especially if

726
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: you pick the therapist and then you pay them on

727
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: the side so they agree with everything you say. You

728
00:33:53,840 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: have a side conversation with that from the get go right. Yeah, worse,

729
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: but it's better to make them know going in since

730
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: he's not on this call, going in like this is

731
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: my objective. I want to stay together. And listen, every

732
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: couple has to grow, you know what I mean, And

733
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: there's always gonna be friction. If there's not friction, there's

734
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 1: not growth. So you can trust him. You're creating a narrative.

735
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: I think maybe you're reacting to something else, so you're

736
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: feeling a little unsafe. You know, he loves you, he

737
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: wanted to marry you. You quit smoking together. You said

738
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: no to getting married, and you guys quit smoking together.

739
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 1: That shows me that you made too really responsible decisions.

740
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,959
Speaker 1: Knowing that you're too young to get married is great.

741
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: Not acting in the heat of the moment is great,

742
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 1: and quitting smoking is great. I mean, you're smart, You've

743
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: got your ship together. You guys just need a little

744
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 1: bit of help to stay together. I also think there's

745
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 1: a little bit of As someone who was not there,

746
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: let me now share my opinion about what happened. I

747
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: think he had to have been a little bit hurt

748
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: by getting the no, and that's what's probably the reason

749
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: for the bick rings. So you're saying that like, oh,

750
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: it had nothing to do with that, maybe from your end,

751
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: but I can imagine from his end, probably felt some

752
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: type of way about that, and that probably led to

753
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: him bickering a little bit and being like I need

754
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 1: some time. He got rejected, right, it's natural, and men

755
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 1: don't like that. They don't like that at all, see White. Yeah, yeah,

756
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: I think so, I really don't. I don't like that

757
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: at all. So, yes, so you have to be a

758
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: little bit empathetic to that because you love him, right, yeah,

759
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: exactly exact, feel like we can you know, make things work.

760
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 1: Of course, you can. You can make anything that you

761
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: want to work work, especially if there's a willing party. So,

762
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: and I think another important thing is that does he

763
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: bring out the best in you? Does he make you happy? Yeah? Yeah,

764
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: we probably should ask that first. Actually, does he make

765
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: you happy? And he feel safe and you feel the

766
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: best version of yourself. Yeah, I feel like we both

767
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: bring that out of each other. So I feel like

768
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: we have a really very perfect, strong foundation and everything. Yeah,

769
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: I think you're going to be fine. Jessica. You sound

770
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: like you just need a reminder that you're in a

771
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: relationship with the right person. You guys have a good

772
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: thing going and you just went through a little rough patch.

773
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: What Lily said is absolutely astute, and I'm sure accurre

774
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: it that he was feeling rejected and then had to

775
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 1: reject you. That's what a lot of white men feel

776
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: like they have to do. That's what a lot of

777
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: people feel like they have to do. Look at me

778
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: using my psych degree. Oh my god, I know the

779
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: first time she went to we just watched a psychology degree.

780
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: So I mean, yeah, So it's going to be called

781
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: dear Lily from now on. And I'm just gonna be

782
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 1: in the other room with Catherine. I'll tell you right now.

783
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 1: And brown people call the questions are gonna be a

784
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: lot different. Your answers are going to scare them. Anyway,

785
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: keep us posted and let us know. But get a therapist. Okay, okay,

786
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 1: so much by Jessica. Thank you guys, take care. Another

787
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: problem solved. You're crushing it. Thank you. I mean you

788
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: didn't think you needed your psych degree, but look at

789
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: it before my surprise, Katherine, how did you feel about that?

790
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: I felt great. I got married very young. I was

791
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,720
Speaker 1: twenty three when Brad the editor here, and I got married,

792
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 1: and we really went through like two years of marriage

793
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: counseling early in our marriage, and it taught us so much.

794
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: It taught us how to argue, it taught us how

795
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: to get along, It taught us good ground rules, and really,

796
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: I think it's set our marriage up, even though we

797
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: didn't do pre marital counseling, Having that so early in

798
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: our relationship like totally solidified where we are now. We

799
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: just celebrated our sixteenth anniversary of thirteenth of marriage, sixteenth

800
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: of together. So look at him knowing that the enough.

801
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 1: I think people always associate couples counseling or therapy with

802
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 1: like they're falling apart, so they but no, it's like

803
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: therapy is just good in general, and wonder what phase

804
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: relationship is in. It's setting yourself up because when you

805
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 1: would make an investment and you put in the time

806
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:47,919
Speaker 1: and effort, it's like meditation or exercise. It's like, yeah,

807
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 1: I gotta get that d girl. Oh did you say see?

808
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? I thought, okay anyway, Yeah, so you're setting

809
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 1: yourself up for success. You're making the best investment into yourself.

810
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: So that's that's great advice, Catherine. So like, yeah, I

811
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 1: know that pre marital counseling that has a religious undertone

812
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: to me, but you could also do that without having

813
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: to have a religious undertone, because you know how I

814
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 1: feel about religion anyway. So what do we have going

815
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: on now? All right? We have a very Canadian email

816
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 1: next and it is a little long, but worth it,

817
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: she says, Dear Chelsea. Seven years ago, I met a

818
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: man who was twenty three years older than me. We

819
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: hit it off right away and quickly became marf to

820
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 1: this term, but friends with benefits. We lived in different

821
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: provinces where Canadian, and even though we met in Ontario,

822
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 1: where I'm from, our relationship grew when I moved to

823
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: Nova Scotia. Fast forward and we have been on and

824
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 1: off for seven years. My family does not approve at

825
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: all because of the age gap, but now I love

826
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: him more than I could ever imagine loving a man.

827
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 1: We never yell or fight with each other. We're so

828
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: supportive of each other, we have healthy social lives outside

829
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: of one another, and most importantly, we make each other

830
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: so happy. In twenty teen, he broke up with me,

831
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,240
Speaker 1: and I was devastated. Come to find out, the reason

832
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: he broke up with me was because he knew that

833
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: the reason my sister had cut me out of her

834
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: life was because of my relationship with him. We secretly

835
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: got back together at the end of then COVID hit

836
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: the Atlantic bubble made it impossible for us to see

837
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 1: each other, So after sixteen months apart, we finally got

838
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: to see each other again, just as we expected. We

839
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 1: love each other more than ever, and now I'm faced

840
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: with the reality that if my relationship can move any further,

841
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: I have to talk to my family. I'm sorry this

842
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 1: was so long. I'm also Canadian, though, so I have

843
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: a hard time not apologizing in general. How can I

844
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,280
Speaker 1: be with the man I love and stop my family

845
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,320
Speaker 1: from disowning me once again? Thank you in advance A

846
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: anonymous Canadian. A. Wow, that's a doozy. I feel like

847
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: we need the whole story about why her family is

848
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,919
Speaker 1: so against him. Well, the age thing, but I need

849
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: the story of like how old is she? Just why

850
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:02,399
Speaker 1: I make sure I advice is legal? Yeah, well, right, right, exactly, Well,

851
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: she's they probably started carrying on before she was when

852
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 1: she was a little bit younger. But this is a

853
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: complete speculation. Could be that it could be, but I

854
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: would say, regardless, if it stood the test of time,

855
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 1: this relationship has taken what it's been over the course

856
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: of four or five years, yes, seven seven years. Seven

857
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: years is a long time, no fling, no, and you've

858
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 1: broken up And the fact that he broke up with

859
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: you because your family wasn't speaking to you, is I

860
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,320
Speaker 1: like that That's something good. That's that's really really sweet

861
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: and sad at the same time and sad, but I mean,

862
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 1: I know we're not getting the full picture about why

863
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: your family doesn't like him. Obviously the age difference would

864
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 1: freak them out. But at a certain point, I think

865
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: it would be beneficial for you to sit down with

866
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 1: your family and possibly with him, so you guys can

867
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 1: have an open, honest conversation about how you feel about

868
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: him and that you have broken up and that you

869
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: guys always find your way back to each other. And

870
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: while the age difference may make them uncomfortable. This is

871
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: your life, this makes you happy, and there's no reason

872
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: for your family to cut you off because of your

873
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 1: choices in a partner for three years. Yeah, that's a

874
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: big age difference, but that's your choice. You're an adult.

875
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you're legal. I feel like this whole thing

876
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,399
Speaker 1: is just me quoting my therapist. I'm so sorry. I'll

877
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 1: give you a credit. I'll pay you extra next time.

878
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: But I think there's certain rules. Amazing, I think there's

879
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 1: certain rules. What are the family rules and what are

880
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 1: the anonymous Canadian rules? You know? I think this is

881
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: verily similar to when people disown their kids for dating

882
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 1: someone of the same sex, Whether person is older, person

883
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: doesn't know. There's so many reasons why families decide I

884
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: don't approve of that person, and so now I'm going

885
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: to cut you off. You need to decide which of

886
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: those rules you abide by, in which you don't. If

887
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: the person doesn't treat you well and your family cut

888
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 1: you off, I can understand that if the person cheated

889
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 1: on you and wasn't faithful to you, I could understand

890
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 1: that we're cheer telling us that the person treats you amazing,

891
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: makes you happy, understands you. Those are all rules that

892
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,320
Speaker 1: you should abide by, and I think that's where you

893
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: have to decide. Like, no, the rule is that if

894
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: I'm being treated right, I will be with this person.

895
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: Make every effort to make your family understand. But you

896
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: don't have to abide by the rules your family has

897
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: about what they accept about the person, right. There's a

898
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 1: distinction there, And I'm also gonna say family therapy as well.

899
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: Family therapy goes a long way with getting people on

900
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: the same page. But I have a feeling that if

901
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: you broke up with this person for your family would

902
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: eat you inside for a long time, because you're not

903
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: spending the rest of your life living with your sister.

904
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: You spend the rest of your life living with a partner, right,

905
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,399
Speaker 1: And so there's a big difference there. And as long

906
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: as there's not like any abuse going on or any

907
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: like drug use going on that is making your family

908
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: feel unsafe. If those are issues that are present in

909
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: the relationship, then you have to be accountable for that

910
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: and in respect the fact that your family is worried

911
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 1: about you in that way. But if those aren't issues,

912
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: then yeah, people waste so much time in life holding

913
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: grudges or being angry at their own family members, and

914
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: it's just such a waste of time. I mean, we're

915
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 1: sucking here once. You know, no matter what you believe in,

916
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: I mean, if you believe in reincarnation, maybe you think

917
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 1: you're coming back, but not as the same person. So

918
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: you've got to make it count and you've got to

919
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: exhaust all efforts. But I agree, love can be stronger

920
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: than family sometimes, and so we're saying that you should

921
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: try to make it work with your family while you're

922
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 1: with the guy, and if they can't handle that, then

923
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: you know that is their loss. Again going back to

924
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: if he treats you right and if there's no other

925
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: factors there. But I think, yeah, it's not right for

926
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: any family to say, oh, this makes my sister really happy,

927
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: but I'm going to have a problem with it. That's

928
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 1: let me Your sister needs to figure out and needs

929
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: to work on. Yeah, swing out sister. Anyway, So keep

930
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: us posted anonymous, let us know Canadian a And then

931
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 1: that you said provinces, who I love provinces. Yeah, I'm

932
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 1: so proud that you knew there were provinces. The majority

933
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 1: of people I speak to here, have no idea about

934
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: and you know that I have Canadian Oh I'm announcing

935
00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: my Canadian tour dates. Just added second shows to Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle,

936
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: and Winnipeg. Because my Canadians love me and I love

937
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: my Canadians. I am coming to two shows in Denver.

938
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: First show sold out, second show I believe there are

939
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 1: tickets available. Chicago is sold out, and there are tickets

940
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 1: available for Columbus, Ohio on Saturday night, So get your

941
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: tickets for that. Everybody for your Vaccinated and Horny tour,

942
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,720
Speaker 1: So those are all on sale, So get your tickets people.

943
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: I'm coming all over Canada during Sea and Uncle's go

944
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,439
Speaker 1: to Chelsea's go to Chelsea's tour. They'll be like, oh

945
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 1: my god, is this who corrupted Lily? She went to

946
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: America and love Now she's got a girlfriend. Oh ship. Anyway,

947
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,320
Speaker 1: thank you for writing in. Okay, we're gonna take a

948
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: quick ad break because I yeah, yeah, I gotta get that,

949
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: gotta get that. Oh yeah, we gotta pay for that. Okay, Okay,

950
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:52,919
Speaker 1: we're going to do an ad for something like better help.

951
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 1: So Chelsea, one thing I wanted to say is I

952
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: think we can actually give people advice on how to

953
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: ask for advice from you. Oh right, right, because well,

954
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 1: we get lots of submissions, but we want you guys

955
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: to be more specific in your submissions, right, yes, and

956
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: especially in your subject line. These are kind of the

957
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: guidelines for the best way to get your email chosen

958
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: for the show. Oh this is good. Yeah. Yeah, Well

959
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: you tell us then, because you're reading the submissions and

960
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: you do a lot of this work. So let's give

961
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,760
Speaker 1: everybody the tools they need. If you're thinking about writing

962
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,320
Speaker 1: into the show, if you have a problem, this is

963
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: how you're going to get our attention. Yeah. So here's

964
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a really specific

965
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: subject line. So rather than just saying advice from Chelsea,

966
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 1: tell me what your advice that you need is about.

967
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 1: Also being really specific in your email. Tell us the

968
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: situation briefly, but then tell us the question you'd actually

969
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,399
Speaker 1: like to have answered. So, my boyfriend is no good

970
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,720
Speaker 1: in bed? How can we fix that? Is very different

971
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: than my boyfriend is no good in bed? Should I

972
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 1: leave him? So what's your real question? Make sure to

973
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 1: include that towards the end. So which one did you prefer?

974
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: Out of that? And my boyfriend is good and bad?

975
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 1: Should I leave him? I mean, I think it depends

976
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: on the boyfriend well, but I mean for our callers,

977
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 1: because I'm confused which one is a better one. I

978
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: think they're both valid. It's just does she want to

979
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: leave them or does she want to stick with them? Right? Right?

980
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,959
Speaker 1: Bedroom situation? Yeah. Subject lines should also be specific about

981
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 1: what the advice is you're seeking, not advice from me, obviously,

982
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: you're seeking advice from me if you're writing in. So,

983
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: if it's about an affair, right, affair, If it's about cheating, right, cheating,

984
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: If it's about family drama right, that right, it's helpful

985
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,720
Speaker 1: to kind of yeah, exactly. Light and fun is great.

986
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: You don't have to be funny, but we really strive

987
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,879
Speaker 1: for authenticity. So if it's a light question and it's

988
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: authentic to you, great. If it's something heavy and it's authentic,

989
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 1: that's great. Yeah, we will take light questions. I mean,

990
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 1: I'm all for that too, So it just seems like

991
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: we take a lot of heavy ones. But I'm happy

992
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: to talk about light problems too, because that's a nice

993
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 1: way to keep things light sometimes and we can actually

994
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: really help. Also. Yeah, actually, also make sure that you

995
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: actually have a question. Yeah, sometimes some emails are just

996
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 1: a place to vent and this might not be the

997
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: perfect place for that. But yeah, it sounds like you've

998
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 1: got some beef with some of our writers, some of

999
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 1: our listeners. I did get an email that was probably

1000
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 1: thirty pages long if I know, so that one is

1001
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: not when we will be having time to read on

1002
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: the show, unfortunately. Yeah, So I would just say to

1003
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: that end, keep it relatively sure, a paragrapher to give

1004
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: us a taste of it, and if we want to

1005
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 1: know more, we'll reach out and we can have you

1006
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: on the show. You can also send a voice memo

1007
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 1: to dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com as long

1008
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: as it's about thirty seconds or less. That gives us

1009
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: a really nice amount of content to work with, and

1010
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: we might even play it on the show. Yeah, we

1011
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: like playing voice memos on the show, so that's how

1012
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: you can get picked. We have some topics that we

1013
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: are looking to cover this season. We need more questions

1014
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: about or from non binary people. We need to have

1015
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:02,240
Speaker 1: more conversations about non binary relation and ships with your families,

1016
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 1: with sexual partners, your experiences as nine binary people. I

1017
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: want to know more, and I want to talk more

1018
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 1: and educate our audience more. So we want to talk

1019
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 1: more about open relationships. We always are looking for couples

1020
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 1: in open relationships or one partner in an open relationship

1021
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: who wants to discuss it is also great for us.

1022
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: We want to understand that and I want to discuss it.

1023
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: Terrible bosses is something that I am very familiar with

1024
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 1: because I am one. But if you have experience with

1025
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: terrible bosses, or you are a terrible boss, or you

1026
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: have one employees, also call in things that your kids

1027
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: are doing to drive you nuts, so I can tell

1028
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 1: you I told you so I won't tell you that. Yeah.

1029
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: I mean, we really take questions advice that you need

1030
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 1: on just about any topic. It can be baking questions, um,

1031
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: baking questions, Yeah, bring those my way. I want to

1032
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 1: see how that goes. I personally am a terrible baker,

1033
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 1: so I don't know how much help I'm going to

1034
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 1: be on that. But you know what, we have, we

1035
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 1: have friends coming to help and give us a Yeah.

1036
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: And pets were always open to talking about pets. That's important.

1037
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: Breast implant illness, that's a big topic, and we want

1038
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 1: more people to talk about it and call in about

1039
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: that because we want to talk about that and parenting.

1040
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: We have specialists coming on to talk about parenting. So

1041
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: if you have a pressing parenting question or if you've

1042
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: been struggling with something as a parent, this is the

1043
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 1: place to come. And that might be a great place

1044
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: for a couple to come together and say, hey, we're

1045
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: disagreeing on this specific choice to make as regards one

1046
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: of our children. So you know, call in right in,

1047
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: don't be shy, right into Dear Chelsea project at gmail

1048
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: dot com. Well, this was a delightful episode. Are you

1049
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: say that to all of your games? We have a

1050
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: good time every time we do enjoy I really doesn't

1051
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: matter how busy I was. I was going to do

1052
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: this because I love being you know, I love you.

1053
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate spending your time with us, and

1054
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 1: I appreciate your sound advice to everybody. I try. I

1055
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 1: try my best. But who else is tapping into your

1056
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: psychology degree besides this podcast? I mean, are you giving

1057
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,839
Speaker 1: out a lot of advice to people because you're not

1058
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 1: bad at it? Thanks? I think I help with my

1059
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 1: friends here and there, but honestly, mostly myself, I have

1060
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: a good way of working through my problems in my brain. Well,

1061
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 1: I think you should just take that degree and sign

1062
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 1: it right over to me, because I've been wanting a

1063
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 1: degree for some time and I'm acting like I have one.

1064
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 1: So the best degree is life experience. Oh put that

1065
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 1: on your shirt. That was really good. Don't put that

1066
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 1: on People say that all the time, right, Yeah, so

1067
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 1: it's not originally Okay, that sounds something like that sounds

1068
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: like something a Canadian would say. Okay, well there's things.

1069
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: Am I allowed to ask you some advice? Yeah? Because okay,

1070
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 1: here's yeah, here's the thing. I had a birthday recently.

1071
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: You know this, okay, and I want this happy birthday,

1072
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I want this advice specifically from you,

1073
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:43,439
Speaker 1: because when I think of Chelsea, I think of someone

1074
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: who's just so unapologetic, doesn't care about the rules, paves

1075
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,839
Speaker 1: her own path, and does what serves her best. I

1076
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: try to be like that, but every once in a while,

1077
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: I have to think, what would Chelsea do? So I

1078
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: turned thirty three, which I'm going to obviously say, I

1079
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 1: feel so old. You're going to be like, shut that up,

1080
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 1: because you're you're probably older. Yeah, giving me I'm not

1081
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 1: I'm not Lily. I'm thirty one. What's funny is something funny? Nothing?

1082
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: Nothing in this industry. I know. I always preach a

1083
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: j nothing but a number. You can do whatever you want,

1084
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:18,280
Speaker 1: But in this industry, I can't help but feel crap.

1085
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: My career is gonna be over. I'm now the old

1086
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: woman of color in this industry, trying to make it Like.

1087
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: I read scripts now and they have a story about

1088
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: an old woman and she's twenty eight in the script

1089
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, ah, how do I get over this? How?

1090
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 1: How do I not care about this? I really want

1091
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: to not care about it, But how do I not

1092
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 1: care about this age thing as a woman in this industry?

1093
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: First of all, I think I started my first TV

1094
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: show or Chelsea Lately, when I was thirty three. So

1095
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 1: the age I am, the age you're at is when

1096
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 1: I hit my big everyone knew about me, so that

1097
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 1: was when I started. So, first of all, you're a

1098
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: person of color, You're fine. People are going to be

1099
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 1: catering to you for a long time. Finally, exactly exactly,

1100
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 1: so just know that you have an advantage, fucking finally,

1101
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: and we all are going through an evolution we're all

1102
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: doing things in our own time. The only you know

1103
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: that kind of talk to yourself. Every time you have

1104
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 1: that thought to yourself, you have to flip it and

1105
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: you have to go, oh my god, what am I

1106
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: going to do next? It's just what you were talking

1107
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 1: about earlier, about how you get into a job and

1108
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: you think that you're gonna be doing that for the

1109
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,839
Speaker 1: rest of your life, whether it's late night, whether it's

1110
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 1: your YouTube, whatever it is. It's like you have a

1111
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: thirst for knowledge, you have a thirst for you know, entertainment.

1112
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: You're never gonna do anything else. This is where you belong.

1113
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: And I always tell myself that it's like, what am

1114
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:38,919
Speaker 1: I going to go do? Be an attorney? I mean,

1115
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 1: this is what you do. And there's nothing wrong with aging.

1116
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 1: Aging is is an attraction for so many people. You know,

1117
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 1: you're a role model, Like I'm forty six. Listen, I've

1118
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: never looked better than I do now. I've never been

1119
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: happier than I am now, and that's thirteen years away

1120
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 1: from where you are. So don't even fucking worry about age.

1121
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 1: And you know what, I know, it's easier said than done,

1122
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 1: But every time you think about that, you just have

1123
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,879
Speaker 1: to think I'm just getting started. Dann. You see that's

1124
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: at Chelsea Energy. I needed to bottle that up right

1125
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:09,360
Speaker 1: here and take it home. We put it in a

1126
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 1: special spot. Amen's Sister. Thank you, thank you for listening.

1127
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: You guys. I'm really excited to see everybody on tour,

1128
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: and we will be back next week with more Shenanigans.

1129
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 1: I guess I just want to a subtle plug. I

1130
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: hosted one of Chelsea's tours, and she's amazing on tour.

1131
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 1: If you've never seen her, you should definitely see her.

1132
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 1: She's amazing.