Speaker 1: And so during this war of attrition, your mind needs
Speaker 1: to win, not your heart. Your feelings don't get to
Speaker 1: win over your thoughts because your thoughts are calculating everything
Speaker 1: around your Your heart is thinking in one direction, just
Speaker 1: with your gut feeling, and we cannot trust our gut feeling. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast, Episode one four. Thanks for coming
Speaker 1: listening wherever you're coming from TikTok after midnight Instagram. Maybe
Speaker 1: just a long time listener. We drop episodes every Monday morning.
Speaker 1: I answer your questions. You email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. We talk about it in long form as
Speaker 1: though we're sitting in a pickup truck cab together. You
Speaker 1: got an idea, you say, Hey, man, I want to
Speaker 1: run something by you, and we talk about it as
Speaker 1: long as it takes to answer the question. You could
Speaker 1: ask me about anything. The subjects are all over the place,
Speaker 1: and let's get started. Subject line of this first one says,
Speaker 1: my ex keeps talking about me. Hey, gradear, my name
Speaker 1: is Chad. I'm twenty five years old. I'm from Southeast Oklahoma.
Speaker 1: Me and my ex girlfriend dated for three and a
Speaker 1: half years. She left me three years ago. We don't
Speaker 1: speak to each other anymore. But these past few months
Speaker 1: I have people come and tell me that she keeps
Speaker 1: talking about me. It's not all bad stuff. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it could mean. I'm just in awe right now. Sorry,
Speaker 1: this is long. Love your music and your podcast. They've
Speaker 1: helped me a lot, so Chad, thanks for emailing Buddy.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Southeast Oklahoma. I love Southeast Oklahoma. You are.
Speaker 1: You're asking about your ex girlfriend dated for quite some time,
Speaker 1: and you've been broken up for about the same amount
Speaker 1: of time. Now she's talking about you. You're getting win
Speaker 1: through the grapevine, and it sounds like by your email
Speaker 1: you said, I'm just in awe right now, it sounds
Speaker 1: like this is exciting, sounds like you're still not over
Speaker 1: her and you are interested in possibly getting back together.
Speaker 1: The first thing I want to say is, why is
Speaker 1: it a surprise that your ex is talking about you.
Speaker 1: You dated three and a half years, You've got mutual friends,
Speaker 1: you've got a lot of stuff in common, you have
Speaker 1: enough in common that you dated for three and a
Speaker 1: half years. It doesn't seem like a surprise that she's
Speaker 1: talking about you, And I don't know if that means anything. Really,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that means there's hope for you
Speaker 1: to get back together with her. I don't know if
Speaker 1: she's just kind of venting because she's moved on and
Speaker 1: she's still remembering and wanting to get past that. But
Speaker 1: it could mean a lot of different things. And so
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm taking this as a good thing, like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, I'm suddenly back on her radar and she's
Speaker 1: talking about me to friends. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to tell you, Chad. Besides, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you haven't moved on, and regardless of what happens with
Speaker 1: her in the future, you're gonna have to find contentment
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to find satisfaction on your own alone,
Speaker 1: single without her, And that's gonna be the most attractive
Speaker 1: thing that you could give back to her if you
Speaker 1: are going to get back with her. One day, she
Speaker 1: has to get back with you. You have coffee, you
Speaker 1: have dinner somewhere, and she thinks, Wow, Chad is different
Speaker 1: now in a good way, Like he's confident. He's not
Speaker 1: worried about me and what I'm doing all the time.
Speaker 1: He's not asking other friends if they've heard from me
Speaker 1: because he seems to have moved on in a confident,
Speaker 1: secure way, and I'm very attracted to that. So that's
Speaker 1: something you can't put on a front four. You can't
Speaker 1: pretend to do. You have to really do it. And
Speaker 1: then it's going to come across as authentic, and she's
Speaker 1: going to get that, and she's gonna she's gonna latch
Speaker 1: onto that. So regardless of what's happening, try to be
Speaker 1: the guy that's single and secure and confident away from
Speaker 1: her because you did break up and it has been
Speaker 1: a long time. And then after that, whatever happens may happen,
Speaker 1: but you're better off pretending like you're not going to
Speaker 1: get back. I don't think this means anything for you
Speaker 1: right now, but it could focus on yourself. Next question,
Speaker 1: I've got so many here. Subject line in the next
Speaker 1: one says breakups. Hey Grander, my name is Nate from Oregon.
Speaker 1: My fiance just broke up with me after being together
Speaker 1: for three years. I asked what I did wrong, and
Speaker 1: she said I did nothing wrong. She just lost a
Speaker 1: love for me, but still wants to be part of me,
Speaker 1: to be part of her family and a part of
Speaker 1: her life. I'm just broken and confused, would like your advice. Thanks.
Speaker 1: I hope this gets to you, Nate. Thanks for emailing Buddy.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Oregon. I love that state too. What
Speaker 1: we're dealing with here is another three year year relationship,
Speaker 1: and what we're dealing with is someone that fell out
Speaker 1: of love. And the great thing for you, Nate, is
Speaker 1: that she was honest enough not to drag this on anymore. Now.
Speaker 1: It's unfortunate that you were engaged, and you probably had
Speaker 1: a ring, and you probably had plans and the works,
Speaker 1: But the reality is good on you because she was
Speaker 1: honest with you and she said, hey, you did nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: I fell out of love. That's natural. Now you're gonna
Speaker 1: blame yourself and you're gonna think you did do something wrong,
Speaker 1: but sometimes you don't. Sometimes you don't have to do
Speaker 1: anything wrong for someone just to fall out of love.
Speaker 1: But I'm happy that she was honest with you and
Speaker 1: told you now and this didn't turn out into something
Speaker 1: really messy and bad down the road. So take that
Speaker 1: and use it as a victory. It doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: a victory to you right now. And it's heartbreak is real.
Speaker 1: It's like grief. It's like you lost somebody. Now the
Speaker 1: thing moving forward, what's tough to do is to be
Speaker 1: friends with her and be part of her family and
Speaker 1: part of her life. That's not that's not great. It's
Speaker 1: not easy to do that, and I would advise against
Speaker 1: it because it's gonna be really tough on your heart.
Speaker 1: It's gonna it's gonna be tough moving forward and hanging
Speaker 1: out and going to a Christmas party and she's there
Speaker 1: and you're talking and you're acting like things are normal,
Speaker 1: but they're not normal. And you still love her and
Speaker 1: she doesn't love you, and you know that and she
Speaker 1: knows it, and you're saying that all with your eyes,
Speaker 1: not with your words, and you're making small talk about
Speaker 1: the eggnog. It's tough. It's tough. Sometimes you gotta just say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I still love you. I appreciate your
Speaker 1: honesty that you don't love me, but to protect my
Speaker 1: heart moving forward so I can move on and find
Speaker 1: somebody else and get my life back on track. I
Speaker 1: don't think I can go to that Christmas party because
Speaker 1: you're there. I don't think I can go hang out
Speaker 1: with your mom. These are things that are gonna be
Speaker 1: unhealthy for me. Hey, and don't blame me if I
Speaker 1: I to block you on Facebook. It's not personal. I
Speaker 1: just can't see you every day popping up on my
Speaker 1: feed and you're having a good time and you're out
Speaker 1: with your friends, and God forbid, you're finding somebody new
Speaker 1: and I see it on Facebook. I don't think my
Speaker 1: heart could be put up to that. It hurts too bad.
Speaker 1: I loved you too much and I still do. Nate,
Speaker 1: you got to take care of yourself right now. You
Speaker 1: got to protect your heart. This heartbreak is serious and
Speaker 1: it could just go on and on and on unless
Speaker 1: you take the proper steps right now to cut her
Speaker 1: off and start learning to live single and secure. Similar too,
Speaker 1: similar questions. Almost next question says, Hey Granger, I'm TJ.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old from a little town of Sheridan, Arkansas.
Speaker 1: I asked this girl out, and I've been interested in
Speaker 1: her for a small while. I just want to make
Speaker 1: a good oppression and do everything right for her. She's
Speaker 1: been on the mind a lot since I asked her.
Speaker 1: We have plans to meet this weekend. She says. She
Speaker 1: believes in God and she's going to college. She's just
Speaker 1: about a year or two older thing is she does
Speaker 1: have a little boy, and I don't really see that
Speaker 1: as a con. Is that bad? Thanks for your music
Speaker 1: and everything you do, Ye TJ, thanks for emailing. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Arkansas. That's that town is really close to
Speaker 1: my one of my bus drivers, butch so I know,
Speaker 1: I know shared in Arkansas very well. So your question,
Speaker 1: you're super young. You're you like a girl. You asked
Speaker 1: her out and she has a little boy. Now you're
Speaker 1: you're saying that's not a con And I don't think
Speaker 1: it is. Either if you love her and or if
Speaker 1: you will love her, and she's a great girl, but
Speaker 1: but it does put a wrinkle in things in terms
Speaker 1: of you. You have to play this a little differently
Speaker 1: than you would a girl with no ties, no commitments,
Speaker 1: no children. The reason I say that is because she's
Speaker 1: a single mom and we have to treat that in
Speaker 1: a special way. Like you're You're gonna have to make
Speaker 1: arrangements with her always with this child in mind, and
Speaker 1: she's gonna put that child first until she gets remarried.
Speaker 1: She's gonna put this child first. So you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to play second to the little boy. That's not a
Speaker 1: bad thing, but you have to be aware of that
Speaker 1: your second place for her until she remarries. I want
Speaker 1: you to be very aware of that. I want you
Speaker 1: to be very aware that this is not something we
Speaker 1: play around with. You won't play around with single moms.
Speaker 1: This is not casual dating. She's looking to find a
Speaker 1: man in her life. She's looking to find a solid
Speaker 1: father figure for her little boy, and that's not something
Speaker 1: to take lightly. You can't let that be lost on
Speaker 1: you that that's what she's looking for. So this isn't
Speaker 1: This isn't your casual go out have fun, maybe or
Speaker 1: maybe not like her or not. You've got to be
Speaker 1: super honest, super up forward, state your intentions from the
Speaker 1: very beginning. This is what I have in mind. This
Speaker 1: is how I feel about you. This is how I
Speaker 1: don't feel about you. This is how I feel about
Speaker 1: your little boy. This is how I feel about you
Speaker 1: being a single mom. Let's be completely honest. Let's open
Speaker 1: up communication more than you would, maybe a little bit
Speaker 1: more than you're comfortable in doing. But that's what she deserves.
Speaker 1: She deserves your straight up honesty. And if you don't
Speaker 1: like her after date three, you tell her, hey, I
Speaker 1: don't think this is going to work out. I think
Speaker 1: you're a great girl. I think you got a great
Speaker 1: little boy. But I want to be honest with you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to waste your time because your clock
Speaker 1: is ticking. You need to find a father figure for
Speaker 1: this boy, and I don't think it's me. So be honest.
Speaker 1: Don't drag this out, don't be deceptive to her. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: I think you should do that in any relationship, but
Speaker 1: you're more hyper aware of it now that she's a
Speaker 1: single mom. Subdecline here how to forgive my mom? Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Kate. I'm from North Dakota. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: years old. Last time I saw my mom was when
Speaker 1: I was sixteen. My mom and I don't have a
Speaker 1: relationship anymore, and we never really did, even though she
Speaker 1: found out she was pregnant with me, and she didn't
Speaker 1: want to give me up growing up or excuse me,
Speaker 1: she didn't want me growing up. It was always about
Speaker 1: my brother and she never really cared about me. She
Speaker 1: would kick me out when I was the age of seven,
Speaker 1: so my dad would come to get me, usually within
Speaker 1: the first thirty minutes of me being with her. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of other things that she did that were worse.
Speaker 1: But now that I'm older, this is still affecting me
Speaker 1: since I keep learning more and more stuff about what
Speaker 1: she did to me. I haven't seen her since I
Speaker 1: was sixteen, and I wish I could just forgive her
Speaker 1: and forget. But the more I learned, the more I
Speaker 1: hate her. How could I just learn to forget about
Speaker 1: all that she's done so that it could affect me less.
Speaker 1: Thanks for your time, Kate. Yeah, Kate, thanks for the email.
Speaker 1: Shout out to North Dakota. I've been there a couple
Speaker 1: times this year. I love that state. Tough situation, and
Speaker 1: thank you for being vulnerable and open it up on
Speaker 1: this podcast. So forgiveness is a is a tricky thing
Speaker 1: because it's it's very difficult for our heart to forgive.
Speaker 1: It's very difficult for our heart to do a lot
Speaker 1: of things. And our mind, on the other hand, like
Speaker 1: your mind is clear in this email that what you
Speaker 1: want to do that with your brain is you want
Speaker 1: to say, I just want to forgive her so I
Speaker 1: can move on and it could affect me less. That's
Speaker 1: what your brain is saying, but your heart is saying, no,
Speaker 1: I hate her. I can't forgive someone I hate even
Speaker 1: though this is my biological mother, she has done terrible
Speaker 1: things to me. She has affected me negatively as I
Speaker 1: grew up, and I don't want to forgive her. So
Speaker 1: let's let's unpack that, because we could say, we could
Speaker 1: say several things about this one. You you are who
Speaker 1: you are, the strong woman that you are, Kate, because
Speaker 1: of the lack of mother that you had growing up.
Speaker 1: So take that away and you're a different person, maybe
Speaker 1: not as good a person, Which is interesting, right, because
Speaker 1: we're always a product of how we were brought up
Speaker 1: and the surroundings and the people that we put ourselves
Speaker 1: in the same circle with. We're a product of that.
Speaker 1: So it's interesting to think that if you take that
Speaker 1: away from you, you're more than likely less of a
Speaker 1: person because without that affliction and that suffering, without you
Speaker 1: being refined like gold and hot fire, you're not the
Speaker 1: refined human that you are today. So that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: So in a lot of ways, you could thank her
Speaker 1: for that, even though she didn't mean for you to
Speaker 1: be a better person. She didn't mean for you to
Speaker 1: be a refined piece of gold, but that's what she did.
Speaker 1: And so in a strange way, you thank her for that.
Speaker 1: That's one thing to unpack. The other thing is forgiveness.
Speaker 1: Like I said, it's a tricky thing. Your mind knows
Speaker 1: that you should, the Bible says that you should, and
Speaker 1: sometimes when it comes to forgiveness, we have to say
Speaker 1: things out loud and say it to her, and say
Speaker 1: it to ourselves and preach it to ourselves, and then
Speaker 1: let our heart catch up to that later. So I'm
Speaker 1: not expecting you to say, Mom, I forgive you. I
Speaker 1: officially forgive you, and I'm moving on. I'm not expecting
Speaker 1: you to say that and believe it. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So there's a difference between saying and believing
Speaker 1: at the same time, and saying it and knowing that
Speaker 1: that's right, that's the right thing to do, and I
Speaker 1: believe you're correct, and saying you need to forgive her,
Speaker 1: you need to love her as your biological mother, regardless
Speaker 1: of what she's done, because you can't control what she's
Speaker 1: done and you can't control who she is. But you
Speaker 1: can only control the controllables, which is you and your
Speaker 1: reaction to her. So tell her mom, I gotta tell you,
Speaker 1: call her up. I gotta tell you. I just love
Speaker 1: you and I forgive you, and you don't have to
Speaker 1: say but, or here's what you did wrong, or let
Speaker 1: me make a the list of things that you did
Speaker 1: that hurt me. Because she knows. She's a human. She
Speaker 1: might be prideful, she might not admit it, but of
Speaker 1: course she knows. Any human knows, any mother knows. She
Speaker 1: knows exactly what happened, she knows exactly what she's still
Speaker 1: continuing to do. She knows the damage that's been done.
Speaker 1: So you don't need to tell her. You don't need
Speaker 1: a reminder. That doesn't do any good for you. But
Speaker 1: you tell her I love you and I forgive you,
Speaker 1: and your heart is screaming inside your chest. It's going,
Speaker 1: I don't forgive you. I hate you. I don't love you.
Speaker 1: I hate you, Mom. That's what your heart is telling you,
Speaker 1: but your brain says, no, I'm gonna say this. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put this out there, and I'm gonna say it
Speaker 1: over and over until my heart finally catches up. It's
Speaker 1: like a war of attrition against your heart. Your brain
Speaker 1: and your heart are at war always. Sometimes they line up.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they do, and you're blessed if they do. But
Speaker 1: a lot of times they don't, and so during this
Speaker 1: war of attrition, your mind needs to win, not your heart.
Speaker 1: Your feelings don't get to win over your thoughts because
Speaker 1: your thoughts are calculating everything around you. Your heart is
Speaker 1: thinking in one direction, just with your gut feeling, and
Speaker 1: we cannot trust our gut feeling. So use your brain
Speaker 1: and go get there. You know what I am who
Speaker 1: I am because I'm a mom, and she brought me
Speaker 1: to this world. She might not even have wanted me.
Speaker 1: She might have given more attention to my brother, she
Speaker 1: might have shipped me off to my dad. But you
Speaker 1: know what, I got a good dad. A lot of
Speaker 1: people don't. I got a good dad, and I got
Speaker 1: a mom that's still alive a lot of people don't.
Speaker 1: And I could still tell her that I love her,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people can't. And I might not
Speaker 1: get that back from her, but I don't need that
Speaker 1: back from her because I can't control that. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell her I forgive her and I love her,
Speaker 1: And eventually, after I say it enough times, my heart
Speaker 1: will catch up to it, and then you'll be better
Speaker 1: for it. Let's hit one more and take a break.
Speaker 1: Interesting subject, cliente says am I being selfish, mister Smith,
Speaker 1: I'd like to remain anonymous. I have a four year
Speaker 1: old boy. I uprooted my life and moved states to
Speaker 1: be with my current girlfriend. His mom lives hours away
Speaker 1: from me. My current girlfriend thinks that he will do
Speaker 1: better at his mom's rather than at our house. She
Speaker 1: seems to be more and more pushy about the subject.
Speaker 1: She says it's because she doesn't listen to her, and
Speaker 1: when he's at his mom's he wasn't acting the way
Speaker 1: he acts here. I just want to I just don't
Speaker 1: want to go because I don't want to miss out.
Speaker 1: Is this me being selfish? I also feel like if
Speaker 1: he stays, I lose my girlfriend and my kids two
Speaker 1: boys and one girl. One boy we have together, and
Speaker 1: she had a girl before me. Been a longtime fan.
Speaker 1: Love your concerts. Thanks for your time. Yeee okay, Anonymous. Tough, tough,
Speaker 1: tough situation, sticky, A lot of a lot of deal
Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of variables here, So I'm
Speaker 1: going to recap this so my own brain understands. You
Speaker 1: have a four year old boy, baby mama lives away
Speaker 1: from you guys, and your current girlfriend doesn't really want
Speaker 1: much to do with the boy. She has her own kids.
Speaker 1: She's blaming it on the four year old boy doesn't
Speaker 1: listen to her, and he listens to his mama, his
Speaker 1: baby mama. More you you're questioning if you're being selfish
Speaker 1: by loving your own for year old boy and not
Speaker 1: being as respecting your girlfriend's wishes, which you have. You
Speaker 1: have a boy together. This is complicated. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out myself. So you guys, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of floating variables here. But here's the deal. Let me
Speaker 1: just focus on one thing since I don't totally understand
Speaker 1: the family dynamic. You're never ever going to be selfish
Speaker 1: by giving attention to your four year old boy, which
Speaker 1: four year olds are difficult. I mean, he's not minding
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, of course he's not. What does she expect?
Speaker 1: What does she expect him? Just to be totally obedient
Speaker 1: to a girlfriend I want to say random girlfriend. Sorry,
Speaker 1: that's disrespectful. But of course he's not minding her. Of
Speaker 1: course he's not to listen to her more than his
Speaker 1: own biological mother. This is this is a complicated issue,
Speaker 1: but you're you take selfish out of it, because if
Speaker 1: you're giving attention to your boy. If you're doing what's
Speaker 1: best for your boy, not to the girlfriend that you
Speaker 1: haven't married yet, that's not being selfish. That's being a
Speaker 1: responsible dad to a child you brought into this world.
Speaker 1: So I say this out of love, and I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to knock you at all, but man, turn away
Speaker 1: from that thought. Once again. I'm not totally sure if
Speaker 1: that's what you mean by being selfish, but I think
Speaker 1: it does. And I don't want you to ever think
Speaker 1: you're being selfish by giving attention to your boy. Now
Speaker 1: that that comes ahead of your girlfriend's kids. It comes
Speaker 1: ahead of your girlfriend until you marry her and she's
Speaker 1: your wife and she becomes your number one in your family.
Speaker 1: Until then, Right now, your priority is your boy, not
Speaker 1: your girlfriend. Because I can tell you right now just
Speaker 1: hearing your story, girlfriends, this is probably not your last
Speaker 1: one you're going to have in your life. There's probably
Speaker 1: going to be another one. But this is this is
Speaker 1: This boy is only four years old one time right now,
Speaker 1: and he needs his daddy. And we could tie all
Speaker 1: these questions together with that that I've read today, But
Speaker 1: this four year old boy needs his daddy more than
Speaker 1: this girl needs her boyfriend, Stack up the priorities, get
Speaker 1: him right, get him straight. You don't have to neglect
Speaker 1: your girlfriend or her kids. You don't have to neglect
Speaker 1: baby mama. You don't have to. You could spread yourself out.
Speaker 1: You could still work a job and be a super
Speaker 1: dad and float around and be there for all these people.
Speaker 1: But you got to put that boy first because he's
Speaker 1: grown up. Asked, and the story I read right before this,
Speaker 1: when the mama didn't want the girl, Look what happens.
Speaker 1: You get a twenty year old boy that says, I'm
Speaker 1: so confused, i don't know anything in this life. I'm worried,
Speaker 1: I'm stressed out. My dad didn't really want me. He
Speaker 1: spent more attention to his girlfriend and her kids and
Speaker 1: not me. You don't want that. That's a problem you
Speaker 1: don't want to have. You don't want to email me
Speaker 1: with that question. So you have right now, this present moment,
Speaker 1: to make sure you get this fixed, seared up, taken
Speaker 1: care of. Be a responsible dad. That's your priority. Let's
Speaker 1: take a break and bear it back. Thanks for listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. You all. This episode is brought to
Speaker 1: you by Better Help, and this is actually very relevant
Speaker 1: to these questions I've been answering today. How well would
Speaker 1: you take care of your car if you had to
Speaker 1: keep the same one your entire life. Well, that's how
Speaker 1: our brains work, so why don't we treat them the
Speaker 1: same way. How we take care of our minds affects
Speaker 1: how we experience life, so it's important to invest time
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Speaker 1: ways to support a healthy brain, like learning a new
Speaker 1: language or taking power naps. But there's also better Help
Speaker 1: online therapy. Now, those of y'all listening, No, I'm not
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist, I'm not a therapist, but I could lead
Speaker 1: you to one that's very easy to get a hold
Speaker 1: of and very affordable. Better Help is online therapy that
Speaker 1: offers video, phone and even live chat only therapy sessions
Speaker 1: so you don't have to see anyone on camera if
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Speaker 1: slash granger. That's better help dot com slash Granger. Want
Speaker 1: to find more ways to get a hold of me,
Speaker 1: I'm at all social media at granger Smith. You could
Speaker 1: also get a personal video message from me by going
Speaker 1: to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith, or download the cameo
Speaker 1: app and search for me granger Smith. I will shoot
Speaker 1: you over a customized video right here from my phone
Speaker 1: and say whatever you need me to say, Happy birthday,
Speaker 1: happy anniversary, words of encouragement, something funny, hey, whatever it
Speaker 1: might be. You set it up and I'll send it
Speaker 1: for you or whoever you want me to. Go to
Speaker 1: cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Let's get back to some
Speaker 1: more questions. Email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's where I'm getting these questions from. I'll answer yours anything,
Speaker 1: any subject. My only thing is try to keep it
Speaker 1: about the phone links and don't send this. Don't send
Speaker 1: the same email twice. That's my two rules. Next question
Speaker 1: subject line says in law issues. Hey Granger, my name
Speaker 1: is Danielle. I'm from Texas. I'm struggling with my in
Speaker 1: laws and their disapproval. I moved in with my now
Speaker 1: husband as roommates and friends. When they first got to
Speaker 1: know me, they loved me, and they even told my
Speaker 1: now husband that he should date me. My husband has
Speaker 1: had issues with his parents and sisters when it came
Speaker 1: to girlfriends in the past. He always told me that
Speaker 1: he would not tell him he was dating. He always
Speaker 1: told me that he would not tell him he was
Speaker 1: dating someone until they liked them as a person. I
Speaker 1: think he meant they he would not tell them, so
Speaker 1: I never understood until he told them we were dating
Speaker 1: about a month. About one month after he told them
Speaker 1: we were dating, they began spreading lives about me and
Speaker 1: my now husband and telling him horrible things that weren't true.
Speaker 1: They even trashed my name to the whole family. It
Speaker 1: all started with his sister, who still today wants nothing
Speaker 1: to do with me or him. She says that he
Speaker 1: has changed into a different person since he met me.
Speaker 1: I will say that I did screw up, and I
Speaker 1: regret it because I acted out of hurt and anger
Speaker 1: when they were attacking me and my name. I confronted
Speaker 1: them and that was not in the best way. I've apologized,
Speaker 1: but nothing has gotten better today. The rest of the
Speaker 1: family has no issues with me, and now his parents
Speaker 1: are not telling the truth about me and the relationship
Speaker 1: with my husband. Do you have any suggestions on healing
Speaker 1: the relationship with the sister and parent in laws? Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, Danielle shout out to my homestate of Texas.
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. This is a tough situation. In
Speaker 1: law issues come up a lot, or see this quite
Speaker 1: a bit in these emails, so you're not alone. In
Speaker 1: laws are not always going to like the person that
Speaker 1: their son chooses, and I think partly that comes from
Speaker 1: they want the best for their son and you will
Speaker 1: one day too, And it's hard to know what the
Speaker 1: best is. It's hard to know a situation completely unless
Speaker 1: you're act in it. So we can't completely blame them
Speaker 1: from looking from the outside in and making judgment calls
Speaker 1: and wanting the best and not thinking that you're the best,
Speaker 1: And can you blame them? That's what they want out
Speaker 1: of love. It's what they really want, and so does
Speaker 1: the sister. So knowing that is a huge part of
Speaker 1: this whole struggle. Just knowing that they're coming from a
Speaker 1: place of love, even though it doesn't feel like it
Speaker 1: or seem like it or look like it to you,
Speaker 1: They're coming from a place of love for their son.
Speaker 1: So that's understandable why they have done this in the
Speaker 1: past to him to the same thing, which tells you
Speaker 1: that it's not about you. It's more about their judgment
Speaker 1: for wanting the best for their son. Once you understand that,
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, well, okay, I get it. I get
Speaker 1: they're being very strict on who he's with because they
Speaker 1: want the best for him. They might not think I'm
Speaker 1: the best. I've actually lashed out in the past against them.
Speaker 1: I'm battling them for this, and okay, I get it.
Speaker 1: I'd see why they don't like me. So what do
Speaker 1: you do now? Because the damage has been done? So
Speaker 1: what do you do now? Then that's your question. Treat
Speaker 1: them with love and respect, grace and forgiveness. You don't
Speaker 1: lash out, You don't judge them back. You control the controllables,
Speaker 1: not the uncontrollables. You can't control how they react to you.
Speaker 1: You can't control their past or how they thought that
Speaker 1: he was supposed to grow up as a little boy
Speaker 1: and now he's not. He's a different person. Now that's
Speaker 1: what they think. You can't control what they think, but
Speaker 1: you can control how you react to them. It's not easy,
Speaker 1: but that's what you do. You don't ever lash out.
Speaker 1: You listen. It's fact. I would say, listen seventy percent
Speaker 1: of the time, listen and talk thirty percent. And that
Speaker 1: kind of goes with anything in life. People have been
Speaker 1: saying that for thousands of years. Talk less, don't talk
Speaker 1: so much. Let them talk. And as angry as you
Speaker 1: get when you hear these evil things coming out of
Speaker 1: their mouth and they're degrading you and saying your husband's change,
Speaker 1: as evil as it sounds in your ears, make the
Speaker 1: words come out of your mouth and say, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry you feel that way, and I don't want you
Speaker 1: to feel that way, and I'm trying hard to correct that.
Speaker 1: How could I be a better daughter in law to you?
Speaker 1: Put it back on him, Ask him a question, how
Speaker 1: can I be a better daughter in law to you?
Speaker 1: Let them answer it, let them see how maybe ridiculous
Speaker 1: their claims are. By trying to answer, how you can
Speaker 1: correct it, And watch as they start backpedaling and say, well,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not what you could do. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're a great girl, and it's yeah, it's just it's
Speaker 1: it's him and he's different now, and it's it's not
Speaker 1: it's not as much. Watch them start back pedaling and
Speaker 1: saying that if you give them a chance, if you
Speaker 1: ask them the question, if you surrender to that. But
Speaker 1: if you come in and go, hey, don't I'm not
Speaker 1: like that and not but you're judgmental and that, then
Speaker 1: they get up back on the defense, and then they
Speaker 1: don't like you, and nothing gets fixed. Ever, nothing gets fixed,
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, well, it's not my job to fix them.
Speaker 1: Like we should meet in the middle. We should compromise,
Speaker 1: not necessarily. I've never read a book that says you
Speaker 1: have to compromise with your in laws. I don't say
Speaker 1: respect them, open up to them, ask them the question,
Speaker 1: ask them how you could be better. Don't lash out,
Speaker 1: and whatever you do, don't do this to your husband.
Speaker 1: Don't blame him for his in laws, your mom and
Speaker 1: your dad and your sister and the way you were
Speaker 1: raised and you were coddled growing up and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: You're a helicoptered avoid that. Let that go. Say it.
Speaker 1: You might think it, your heart might feel it, but
Speaker 1: don't say it. Don't put it out there. It's like
Speaker 1: that first email where we read, just put out forgiveness.
Speaker 1: Let your heart catch up later. Tell them you're sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the damage I've done in
Speaker 1: the past. I'm sorry for lashing out in the past.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done that. And I want to be better.
Speaker 1: I want to be a better daughter in law. How
Speaker 1: help me learn how to do that? Well? You should
Speaker 1: just know I don't. Could you help me with it?
Speaker 1: He can you give me some suggestions? I'm still I'm
Speaker 1: just a work in progress. I'm trying to be a
Speaker 1: good wife. I'm trying to be a good daughter in law,
Speaker 1: trying to be a good sister in law. But I'm
Speaker 1: a work in progress and I'm a human and I
Speaker 1: still make mistakes. Can you help me? Help me learn
Speaker 1: how to be better with that? Who could argue against that?
Speaker 1: Who could put you down when you're saying that, Maybe
Speaker 1: they can the first time, but not the second and
Speaker 1: the third. Hold your ground, Hold that forgiveness, hold that gratefulness,
Speaker 1: hold that honoring of them. Don't let it go. That's
Speaker 1: your new front. Be silent seventy percent of the time.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, this is how it's going to get better.
Speaker 1: There's no other way. Next email subjectline says, let the
Speaker 1: light shine, Hey, Grandeur, I'd like to stay anonymous. I'm
Speaker 1: a Christian and twenty four years old. I have a
Speaker 1: few siblings that don't follow the Lord, and it's hard
Speaker 1: for me to look at their life. My mom worries
Speaker 1: about them, and I can't help but worry for them too.
Speaker 1: I'd like to hear your advice on how I could
Speaker 1: be a witness to them and let my light shine.
Speaker 1: Just a note, I don't live close to them in person.
Speaker 1: Is not possible at the moment. I wish with all
Speaker 1: my heart that they would just follow Jesus and live
Speaker 1: for him. I love your podcast. Thanks in advance. The
Speaker 1: question comes from anonymous. Thank you for emailing twenty four
Speaker 1: years old. Don't say where you're from, and hey, you're living,
Speaker 1: You're living the life. This is the life that we've
Speaker 1: been called for. Families are split up, friends, they're split up,
Speaker 1: different mentalities, different world views, no surprise. So you're asking
Speaker 1: how you could let your light shine? Well, I believe
Speaker 1: that you already know. I believe it's part of your question.
Speaker 1: Is you already know how to let your light shine?
Speaker 1: You're just wanting reassurance from me, But it starts with
Speaker 1: you and yourself. It starts with waking up and spending
Speaker 1: time in the Word, and not just knowing the Word
Speaker 1: of God, but knowing the God who wrote the word.
Speaker 1: How well do you know the God behind the word
Speaker 1: and not just the Word of God. That would be
Speaker 1: my question, my first question to you, and the answer
Speaker 1: should be not enough, not enough. So tomorrow I'm going
Speaker 1: to start all over a lot of prayer, a lot
Speaker 1: of wise counsel. And my three answers to any question
Speaker 1: are prayer, read the Word, seek wise counsel. But that's
Speaker 1: what I do. Those are my three answers to every question. Prayer,
Speaker 1: read the Bible, seequist counsel. And with this situation, your situation,
Speaker 1: well even better, that's easy. That's those three things easily
Speaker 1: fix your question. Now, it's not gonna save them, it's
Speaker 1: not going to convince them of anything, but it's gonna
Speaker 1: help you be that light that you're talking about. It's
Speaker 1: gonna help you be that light for them. So then
Speaker 1: it can also helps you keep accountable, like, hey, I
Speaker 1: better not I better not mess up. I better not
Speaker 1: be a hypocrite to what I'm trying to say, because
Speaker 1: why because they're gonna see me as soon as they
Speaker 1: see me. Be a hypocrite on what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: tell them. They're never gonna believe it. So you show
Speaker 1: them the gospel. The gospel is the power of God
Speaker 1: for salvation. The gospel is the power of it. So
Speaker 1: you tell them the gospel. What's the gospel? Well, did
Speaker 1: you know? God became flesh and came to this earth
Speaker 1: to live a life, to live a life of example
Speaker 1: for us. He died on a cross, was crucified in
Speaker 1: front of hundreds of eyewitnesses, was resurrected, came back to
Speaker 1: life life miraculously, the only person to ever come back
Speaker 1: to life recorded in history. I witnessed, and people wrote
Speaker 1: it down. Did you know that? Did you know he
Speaker 1: did that? So he conquered death so we wouldn't have
Speaker 1: to because we weren't capable of it. We weren't capable
Speaker 1: of defeating our sin. And our sin is keeping us
Speaker 1: from a righteous God, a holy God. We could never
Speaker 1: approach God with our sin. We're rebels, sinful rebels. So
Speaker 1: Jesus comes down, the Son of God, and he takes
Speaker 1: the place of us, so that when God looks at us,
Speaker 1: he sees his son, he sees perfect perfection. Because that's
Speaker 1: what he was on this earth. He shields us from that,
Speaker 1: He takes the place of that for us, He abides
Speaker 1: in us. That's the gospel. And all you got to
Speaker 1: do is believe that message, and you'll be shielded from that.
Speaker 1: You'll get eternal life, you'll be cleansed, you'll start hating
Speaker 1: your own sin. That's the gospel. So we preached that.
Speaker 1: How long did that take me? Thirty seconds? So you
Speaker 1: say that and someone says, I don't believe that garbage,
Speaker 1: go yeah, I used to feel that way too. I understand,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. Just
Speaker 1: because you don't understand it or you think it's garbage
Speaker 1: doesn't change the fact that it did happen. And I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to push you down your throat. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to tell you out of love for you, this
Speaker 1: is the answer to joy and peace, love, hope. That's
Speaker 1: the answer to it. That's it. That's shining a light.
Speaker 1: Don't be a hypocrite. It's easy to do that. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject line says memorizing lines for a play. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Grant Tyler. I'm fifteen years old from Alabama.
Speaker 1: This year for VBS at my church. I got the
Speaker 1: lead role for a drama segment. I was thrilled to
Speaker 1: see that I got it. There's a small issue, though,
Speaker 1: I can't figure out how to memorize my lines. I
Speaker 1: have about three weeks to memorize it. How do you
Speaker 1: memorize whenever you're filming for a movie? Thanks Grant, Tyler Grant,
Speaker 1: thanks for the email. Buddy fifteen years old from Alabama,
Speaker 1: great state. Shout out to y'all. Thanks for opening up
Speaker 1: to me. This is really cool you got this spot.
Speaker 1: And man, that's a great question, because when I took
Speaker 1: on the role of this movie that we shot this year,
Speaker 1: that's one of the things I just really didn't think
Speaker 1: about was how much memorization was going to go into
Speaker 1: all these lines. And we shot for four weeks. Every
Speaker 1: day I had the lead role, I'm talking a lot.
Speaker 1: Not only am I saying lines, but I'm also playing
Speaker 1: off other people's lines, so that I almost have to
Speaker 1: know all their lines too. So if I'm sitting at
Speaker 1: a dinner table and there's all these people having this
Speaker 1: dinner conversation, I have to know what they're saying and
Speaker 1: how they that other person reacts to that person. Then
Speaker 1: that person says something, and now it's my turn to
Speaker 1: react to this person on my left, and so I'm
Speaker 1: memorizing everything. And it was a lot. So I totally
Speaker 1: get it, Grant, But you know that there's a lot
Speaker 1: of ways that different brains memorized different ways, and there's
Speaker 1: apps for that, and there's YouTube videos you could watch
Speaker 1: on that. But but what I found best for me
Speaker 1: and my personality and my brain was just I would
Speaker 1: go over it, and I would sit down with my
Speaker 1: lines the night before and I would just read them
Speaker 1: over and over and over about ten times. I'd read
Speaker 1: my lines about ten times, and then on the tenth time,
Speaker 1: I would turn my script over and I would say
Speaker 1: it out loud, and I would say it and I
Speaker 1: would say the general idea what the other person said back,
Speaker 1: and then I would say my line again, and then
Speaker 1: I would stumble, and I'd flip the script and I'd
Speaker 1: look at it and I would say, oh, dang it,
Speaker 1: there was there was that line right there, and I'd
Speaker 1: flip the script back over again and I would start
Speaker 1: again from the top, and I'd do that till I
Speaker 1: got it down. And when I when I can get
Speaker 1: it down, I would do it about ten times, so
Speaker 1: ten times reading it, ten times saying it out loud
Speaker 1: without reading it, and usually it starts kind of going
Speaker 1: in the memory bank by then, and I would move
Speaker 1: on and I would, you know, make a cup of coffee,
Speaker 1: I'd go do some other things, and i'd go back
Speaker 1: and take the script and start over to start the
Speaker 1: process again. Until I didn't need the script at all.
Speaker 1: I could just drive around in my truck and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: what's scene number one fifty seven And I could just
Speaker 1: say it, and then I want to stumble halfway through
Speaker 1: it and get the script, and oh, there it is, there,
Speaker 1: it is there, it is. But it's just repetition, repetition,
Speaker 1: over and over. Good luck with that, brother. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject line says life, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Devon,
Speaker 1: and I've been probably Devin. My name's Devin, and I've
Speaker 1: been wondering about something. I feel like I'm taking the
Speaker 1: wrong path in life and going against God's word. I've
Speaker 1: been doing things behind my parents back, and I know
Speaker 1: that it's wrong, but the temptation keeps pulling me back,
Speaker 1: and I do the same things. I ask for redemption for.
Speaker 1: I want to stop, but I don't know how what's
Speaker 1: your advice? Thanks Devin, I appreciate you, buddy. Doesn't say
Speaker 1: where you're from or how old you are, but thank
Speaker 1: you for thanks for the email. So here's the thing.
Speaker 1: This is going to go back to a heart question again.
Speaker 1: We're going back to the heart versus of mind. So
Speaker 1: that's very clear in your email. Your mind knows what
Speaker 1: to do and what not to do, but your heart
Speaker 1: keeps taking you back again. So it's a battle. This
Speaker 1: is a battle of attrition between the heart and the mind.
Speaker 1: The mind needs to win, the heart doesn't get to win. Y'all,
Speaker 1: don't listen to people that say follow your heart, go
Speaker 1: with your gut. Reject those things. Don't go with your gut.
Speaker 1: Don't follow your heart. Use your brain. Now, it's great
Speaker 1: to have feelings, it's great to have the heart could
Speaker 1: lead you passionately somewhere, but the brain needs to be
Speaker 1: the one directing. So it's like if the heart's the
Speaker 1: engine of the truck and it's going it's revving up,
Speaker 1: but your brain's the steering will and the breaks your
Speaker 1: brain gets to say accelerator down, break on, turn left,
Speaker 1: and the heart's just read in reven reven revin reven. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you need both, and it's good to have both.
Speaker 1: The truck needs both, but you need to be able
Speaker 1: to direct it with your mind. Use your mind, not
Speaker 1: your heart. Turn this daring with your mind, Accelerate with
Speaker 1: your mind, hit the brakes with your mind, and let
Speaker 1: all the reven be done by your heart. Okay, So
Speaker 1: the Bible says, you said you're taking the wrong path.
Speaker 1: You're going against God's word. The Bible says that the
Speaker 1: heart is wicked and deceitful, and we can't control it.
Speaker 1: So what does that mean. It's like, well, what do
Speaker 1: you mean we can't control it? Well, what do we do?
Speaker 1: Surrender prayer back into God's word? We say, God, God,
Speaker 1: I'm failing. I'm failing this this specific thing. I'm doing
Speaker 1: this again. I can't stop it. Lead me, not into temptation,
Speaker 1: Deliver me. Turn my heart around. The Bible says that
Speaker 1: my heart is in the palm of your hand. You
Speaker 1: can direct it how you want. Turn it this way,
Speaker 1: turn it back to you, turn it back to the light.
Speaker 1: I don't want to walk in the dark anymore. I'm
Speaker 1: tired of walking in the dark. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go there. Take me back to the light, directly to
Speaker 1: the light. Turn me this way. I can't do it alone.
Speaker 1: I need you. I'm totally surrendering to you. I'm in
Speaker 1: the boat and I'm pulling down the sails and I'm
Speaker 1: throwing the oars in the water, and I'm saying, you
Speaker 1: guide this boat because I'm tired. I'm struggling, my arms
Speaker 1: are weak, I'm tired of rowing. I'm tired of the
Speaker 1: wind taking me every which way. So you take me.
Speaker 1: You control the source of this river. You can control
Speaker 1: the destination of this river. You can control the current
Speaker 1: of this river. And I'm just sitting in the boat.
Speaker 1: Take me there. I surrender to you. That's it. And
Speaker 1: until you do that, until you decide to throw the
Speaker 1: oars in the water, to take your sails down, to
Speaker 1: surrender to that, You're probably gonna keep slipping back into
Speaker 1: the dark. That's the beauty of it. Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 1: Isn't that amazing? Just surrender. We hate that word in
Speaker 1: the US, In fact, most of the world, we hate
Speaker 1: that surrender. We don't like throwing in the towel, we
Speaker 1: don't like waving a white flag, we don't like the
Speaker 1: words surrender because that shows weakness. It defines weakness in us.
Speaker 1: But God says, yes, yes, that defines weakness in you,
Speaker 1: and I have the power. So give it back to me.
Speaker 1: Let me do it, Let me do it for you.
Speaker 1: Surrender to me, get back in my word, get back
Speaker 1: and get back on your knees. It's like God, I'm
Speaker 1: back on I'm back here again. I'm acting. I'm asking
Speaker 1: the same thing again, but I'm circling the wagons on
Speaker 1: this and I'm not gonna let this go. I'm giving
Speaker 1: it back to you. Change my heart, take me, take
Speaker 1: me back out of the dark, back in the light.
Speaker 1: That's it, Devin, Let's hit up one more here. Subjiccline
Speaker 1: says depression. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Carson. I'm a
Speaker 1: huge fan, absolutely love your music in your podcast. I
Speaker 1: listen all the time. My question for you today is
Speaker 1: what's the best advice I can give someone who's dealing
Speaker 1: with depression and how I can keep them to see
Speaker 1: how beautiful life is. Thank you and God bless ye
Speaker 1: yee say how to earl for me? Sincerely, Carson. Yeah, Depression,
Speaker 1: it's a big thing. It's an epidemic in this country.
Speaker 1: Here's the epidemics in this country that I've learned from
Speaker 1: this podcast. Heartbreak, loneliness, and depression, and sometimes all three
Speaker 1: are related. In fact, a lot of times all three
Speaker 1: are related. Heartbreak includes grief. Heartbreak is a form of grief.
Speaker 1: It's a broken heart from losing somebody or not having something,
Speaker 1: some dream, something you've always wanted or always thought you
Speaker 1: could have. It's gone heartbreak, grief, loneliness. Sometimes you could
Speaker 1: be lonely with somebody, sometimes you could be lonely alone.
Speaker 1: And the depression is the final result of all this together.
Speaker 1: Sometimes depression could be the result of other things, other factors,
Speaker 1: or it could be come from loneliness and heartbreak or
Speaker 1: both at the same time. But these are three epidemics
Speaker 1: I see come through on questions all the time. In fact,
Speaker 1: right now as I'm talking, someone is typing an email
Speaker 1: to me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com asking about
Speaker 1: one of those three things. I guarantee it it's epidemic
Speaker 1: in this world. So what do you do? Your question
Speaker 1: is what's the advice I can give someone who's dealing
Speaker 1: with depression and how I could help them see how
Speaker 1: beautiful life is. That's an interesting question. Right after that
Speaker 1: you say thank you and God bless lowercase G God,
Speaker 1: lowercase G, thank you and lowercase G God bless. Interesting
Speaker 1: Interesting because because the only thing I would tell you
Speaker 1: is that creation a created being like me and you
Speaker 1: and your friend. We were created to know our creator.
Speaker 1: Separation from our creator creates dissonance, darkness, depression, lost, not
Speaker 1: knowing what to do, not knowing how to fulfill ourselves,
Speaker 1: endlessly searching for purpose and meaning. This is like ancient stuff,
Speaker 1: like people have been writing about this for thousands of years,
Speaker 1: the meaning of life, purpose behind our life, how to
Speaker 1: find our life, how to find happiness. There are always questions,
Speaker 1: and the answer is always to create. Shun needs to
Speaker 1: find the create tour. Once the creation finds the creator,
Speaker 1: all those answers come together. When you think about creation
Speaker 1: and you think about anything that's been created. You think
Speaker 1: about when you have a problem with your Chevy truck
Speaker 1: and you take it to your local mechanic and he goes, man,
Speaker 1: this is a Chevy thing, this is a computer thing
Speaker 1: that was built into the truck. This is beyond what
Speaker 1: I could fix. And you take it to the local
Speaker 1: Rednak who knows everything about trucks, and he goes, this
Speaker 1: is beyond me. So what do you do? What do
Speaker 1: you do when you get those answers? You take it
Speaker 1: to the Chevy dealership, you take it back to the
Speaker 1: creator and you say, hey, you made this truck. It's
Speaker 1: not running right. I've tried other things to fix it.
Speaker 1: I've tried myself. I've gotten under the hood, I've listened
Speaker 1: to it. I've taken it to other people that know
Speaker 1: about trucks but can't fix it. It's not running right,
Speaker 1: you fix it. So then the creator of the truck goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: we built it. We built it from scratch. We built
Speaker 1: every component of it. We put it together piece by piece.
Speaker 1: We've got the instruction manual right here. We have a
Speaker 1: copy for you. Here it is for us. It's called
Speaker 1: the Bible. So they give you the instruction manual and
Speaker 1: you look at it and you go, yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I see right. Here's the troubleshooting guide in the back
Speaker 1: and it says see page one six and there it is,
Speaker 1: and you go, but I can't fix that, And the
Speaker 1: creator of the truck goes, yeah, well we have that
Speaker 1: part and we know exactly why this is failing. Let
Speaker 1: me do it for you. So you go back to
Speaker 1: the creator, to the dealership, and you look at the
Speaker 1: manual and you go over it. This is how depression
Speaker 1: gets fixed. There are some times when depression is chemical
Speaker 1: imbalance in the brain and a doctor has to look
Speaker 1: at it. So I would say, I would say, you,
Speaker 1: have you gotten to the doctor? Have you have you
Speaker 1: been diagnosed with something. I'm not talking about some kind
Speaker 1: of mental disorder that no one knows the answer for.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, Yeah, Okay, there's the chemical imbalance right now.
Speaker 1: We could see it on the cat scan. So here's
Speaker 1: here's a treatment for it. There's that, But generally speaking,
Speaker 1: for all of it, for all the creation, we go
Speaker 1: back to the creator. So so Carson, you direct him
Speaker 1: back to his maker. You'd make him look back at
Speaker 1: his maker, because then he sees his maker and he sees, oh,
Speaker 1: there's something bigger. There's a source to the river, there's
Speaker 1: a destination, there's a purpose, there's a path, there's a plan,
Speaker 1: and it's not mine and it's not my ores that
Speaker 1: do it. It's not the sale on this boat that
Speaker 1: does it. It's not this motor back here that keeps failing.
Speaker 1: And it's running out of gas and it's not running
Speaker 1: right and I can't get it started. It's none of that.
Speaker 1: It's the source of the river that's pushing the water
Speaker 1: in one direction. And it has a purpose. Even though
Speaker 1: it has turns and twists and obstacles and boulders and
Speaker 1: bridges that have gone down, and rapids and shallow and
Speaker 1: deep and calm, it all has a purpose because it's
Speaker 1: coming from a source. It's coming from a creator. So
Speaker 1: you direct your friend back at that, so he goes, Oh,
Speaker 1: this isn't just meaningless. This life isn't purposeless. The suffering
Speaker 1: that I've been through matters for me. It's refining me
Speaker 1: like gold and a hot fire. It's making me more pure,
Speaker 1: more perfect, so that I could get closer to the destination.
Speaker 1: That way, it's like a father disciplining his child. Oh,
Speaker 1: I get it now, I'm being disciplined so that I
Speaker 1: could be better, so that I could be better for
Speaker 1: what I need my purpose to be. I get it.
Speaker 1: There's some roadmap now. Depression is so dark and it
Speaker 1: just envelops you when you realize what's the purpose? Who cares?
Speaker 1: Why does it matter? Why should I even wake up tomorrow?
Speaker 1: That's a scary, scary thought. Why should why? What's the purpose?
Speaker 1: Why to even wake up tomorrow? So you redirect them
Speaker 1: back to the creator and you go, there is a
Speaker 1: purpose for you. As much as you can't see it. It
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you can't see it. A little
Speaker 1: twig floating down the river can't see the final destination.
Speaker 1: It just goes. And if it worried about that final destination,
Speaker 1: it would just go every which way and get lost
Speaker 1: and sink. So you go. You don't have to know
Speaker 1: the purpose. You just have to know that someone else
Speaker 1: made a purpose for you, and it matters and you
Speaker 1: matter for that. Direct them back there. Love you guys,
Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the
Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You
Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yigi