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Speaker 1: And so during this war of attrition, your mind needs

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Speaker 1: to win, not your heart. Your feelings don't get to

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Speaker 1: win over your thoughts because your thoughts are calculating everything

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Speaker 1: around your Your heart is thinking in one direction, just

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Speaker 1: with your gut feeling, and we cannot trust our gut feeling. Hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast, Episode one four. Thanks for coming

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Speaker 1: listening wherever you're coming from TikTok after midnight Instagram. Maybe

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Speaker 1: just a long time listener. We drop episodes every Monday morning.

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Speaker 1: I answer your questions. You email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com. We talk about it in long form as

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Speaker 1: though we're sitting in a pickup truck cab together. You

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Speaker 1: got an idea, you say, Hey, man, I want to

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Speaker 1: run something by you, and we talk about it as

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Speaker 1: long as it takes to answer the question. You could

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Speaker 1: ask me about anything. The subjects are all over the place,

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Speaker 1: and let's get started. Subject line of this first one says,

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Speaker 1: my ex keeps talking about me. Hey, gradear, my name

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Speaker 1: is Chad. I'm twenty five years old. I'm from Southeast Oklahoma.

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Speaker 1: Me and my ex girlfriend dated for three and a

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Speaker 1: half years. She left me three years ago. We don't

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Speaker 1: speak to each other anymore. But these past few months

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Speaker 1: I have people come and tell me that she keeps

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Speaker 1: talking about me. It's not all bad stuff. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what it could mean. I'm just in awe right now. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: this is long. Love your music and your podcast. They've

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Speaker 1: helped me a lot, so Chad, thanks for emailing Buddy.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Southeast Oklahoma. I love Southeast Oklahoma. You are.

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Speaker 1: You're asking about your ex girlfriend dated for quite some time,

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Speaker 1: and you've been broken up for about the same amount

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Speaker 1: of time. Now she's talking about you. You're getting win

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Speaker 1: through the grapevine, and it sounds like by your email

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Speaker 1: you said, I'm just in awe right now, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like this is exciting, sounds like you're still not over

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Speaker 1: her and you are interested in possibly getting back together.

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Speaker 1: The first thing I want to say is, why is

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Speaker 1: it a surprise that your ex is talking about you.

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Speaker 1: You dated three and a half years, You've got mutual friends,

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Speaker 1: you've got a lot of stuff in common, you have

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Speaker 1: enough in common that you dated for three and a

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Speaker 1: half years. It doesn't seem like a surprise that she's

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Speaker 1: talking about you, And I don't know if that means anything. Really,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that means there's hope for you

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Speaker 1: to get back together with her. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: she's just kind of venting because she's moved on and

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Speaker 1: she's still remembering and wanting to get past that. But

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Speaker 1: it could mean a lot of different things. And so

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm taking this as a good thing, like,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, I'm suddenly back on her radar and she's

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Speaker 1: talking about me to friends. I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what to tell you, Chad. Besides, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you haven't moved on, and regardless of what happens with

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Speaker 1: her in the future, you're gonna have to find contentment

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to find satisfaction on your own alone,

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Speaker 1: single without her, And that's gonna be the most attractive

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Speaker 1: thing that you could give back to her if you

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Speaker 1: are going to get back with her. One day, she

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Speaker 1: has to get back with you. You have coffee, you

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Speaker 1: have dinner somewhere, and she thinks, Wow, Chad is different

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Speaker 1: now in a good way, Like he's confident. He's not

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Speaker 1: worried about me and what I'm doing all the time.

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Speaker 1: He's not asking other friends if they've heard from me

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Speaker 1: because he seems to have moved on in a confident,

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Speaker 1: secure way, and I'm very attracted to that. So that's

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Speaker 1: something you can't put on a front four. You can't

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Speaker 1: pretend to do. You have to really do it. And

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Speaker 1: then it's going to come across as authentic, and she's

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Speaker 1: going to get that, and she's gonna she's gonna latch

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Speaker 1: onto that. So regardless of what's happening, try to be

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Speaker 1: the guy that's single and secure and confident away from

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Speaker 1: her because you did break up and it has been

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Speaker 1: a long time. And then after that, whatever happens may happen,

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Speaker 1: but you're better off pretending like you're not going to

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Speaker 1: get back. I don't think this means anything for you

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Speaker 1: right now, but it could focus on yourself. Next question,

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Speaker 1: I've got so many here. Subject line in the next

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Speaker 1: one says breakups. Hey Grander, my name is Nate from Oregon.

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Speaker 1: My fiance just broke up with me after being together

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Speaker 1: for three years. I asked what I did wrong, and

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Speaker 1: she said I did nothing wrong. She just lost a

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Speaker 1: love for me, but still wants to be part of me,

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Speaker 1: to be part of her family and a part of

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Speaker 1: her life. I'm just broken and confused, would like your advice. Thanks.

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Speaker 1: I hope this gets to you, Nate. Thanks for emailing Buddy.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Oregon. I love that state too. What

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Speaker 1: we're dealing with here is another three year year relationship,

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Speaker 1: and what we're dealing with is someone that fell out

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Speaker 1: of love. And the great thing for you, Nate, is

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Speaker 1: that she was honest enough not to drag this on anymore. Now.

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Speaker 1: It's unfortunate that you were engaged, and you probably had

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Speaker 1: a ring, and you probably had plans and the works,

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Speaker 1: But the reality is good on you because she was

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Speaker 1: honest with you and she said, hey, you did nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: I fell out of love. That's natural. Now you're gonna

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Speaker 1: blame yourself and you're gonna think you did do something wrong,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes you don't. Sometimes you don't have to do

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Speaker 1: anything wrong for someone just to fall out of love.

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Speaker 1: But I'm happy that she was honest with you and

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Speaker 1: told you now and this didn't turn out into something

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Speaker 1: really messy and bad down the road. So take that

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Speaker 1: and use it as a victory. It doesn't seem like

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Speaker 1: a victory to you right now. And it's heartbreak is real.

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Speaker 1: It's like grief. It's like you lost somebody. Now the

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Speaker 1: thing moving forward, what's tough to do is to be

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Speaker 1: friends with her and be part of her family and

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Speaker 1: part of her life. That's not that's not great. It's

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Speaker 1: not easy to do that, and I would advise against

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Speaker 1: it because it's gonna be really tough on your heart.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna it's gonna be tough moving forward and hanging

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Speaker 1: out and going to a Christmas party and she's there

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Speaker 1: and you're talking and you're acting like things are normal,

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Speaker 1: but they're not normal. And you still love her and

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Speaker 1: she doesn't love you, and you know that and she

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Speaker 1: knows it, and you're saying that all with your eyes,

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Speaker 1: not with your words, and you're making small talk about

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Speaker 1: the eggnog. It's tough. It's tough. Sometimes you gotta just say,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I still love you. I appreciate your

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Speaker 1: honesty that you don't love me, but to protect my

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Speaker 1: heart moving forward so I can move on and find

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Speaker 1: somebody else and get my life back on track. I

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Speaker 1: don't think I can go to that Christmas party because

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Speaker 1: you're there. I don't think I can go hang out

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Speaker 1: with your mom. These are things that are gonna be

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Speaker 1: unhealthy for me. Hey, and don't blame me if I

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Speaker 1: I to block you on Facebook. It's not personal. I

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Speaker 1: just can't see you every day popping up on my

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Speaker 1: feed and you're having a good time and you're out

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Speaker 1: with your friends, and God forbid, you're finding somebody new

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Speaker 1: and I see it on Facebook. I don't think my

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Speaker 1: heart could be put up to that. It hurts too bad.

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Speaker 1: I loved you too much and I still do. Nate,

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Speaker 1: you got to take care of yourself right now. You

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Speaker 1: got to protect your heart. This heartbreak is serious and

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Speaker 1: it could just go on and on and on unless

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Speaker 1: you take the proper steps right now to cut her

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Speaker 1: off and start learning to live single and secure. Similar too,

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Speaker 1: similar questions. Almost next question says, Hey Granger, I'm TJ.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old from a little town of Sheridan, Arkansas.

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Speaker 1: I asked this girl out, and I've been interested in

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Speaker 1: her for a small while. I just want to make

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Speaker 1: a good oppression and do everything right for her. She's

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Speaker 1: been on the mind a lot since I asked her.

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Speaker 1: We have plans to meet this weekend. She says. She

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Speaker 1: believes in God and she's going to college. She's just

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Speaker 1: about a year or two older thing is she does

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Speaker 1: have a little boy, and I don't really see that

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Speaker 1: as a con. Is that bad? Thanks for your music

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Speaker 1: and everything you do, Ye TJ, thanks for emailing. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to Arkansas. That's that town is really close to

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Speaker 1: my one of my bus drivers, butch so I know,

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Speaker 1: I know shared in Arkansas very well. So your question,

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Speaker 1: you're super young. You're you like a girl. You asked

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Speaker 1: her out and she has a little boy. Now you're

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Speaker 1: you're saying that's not a con And I don't think

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Speaker 1: it is. Either if you love her and or if

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Speaker 1: you will love her, and she's a great girl, but

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Speaker 1: but it does put a wrinkle in things in terms

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Speaker 1: of you. You have to play this a little differently

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Speaker 1: than you would a girl with no ties, no commitments,

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Speaker 1: no children. The reason I say that is because she's

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Speaker 1: a single mom and we have to treat that in

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Speaker 1: a special way. Like you're You're gonna have to make

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Speaker 1: arrangements with her always with this child in mind, and

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Speaker 1: she's gonna put that child first until she gets remarried.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna put this child first. So you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to play second to the little boy. That's not a

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Speaker 1: bad thing, but you have to be aware of that

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Speaker 1: your second place for her until she remarries. I want

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Speaker 1: you to be very aware of that. I want you

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Speaker 1: to be very aware that this is not something we

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Speaker 1: play around with. You won't play around with single moms.

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Speaker 1: This is not casual dating. She's looking to find a

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Speaker 1: man in her life. She's looking to find a solid

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Speaker 1: father figure for her little boy, and that's not something

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Speaker 1: to take lightly. You can't let that be lost on

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Speaker 1: you that that's what she's looking for. So this isn't

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Speaker 1: This isn't your casual go out have fun, maybe or

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Speaker 1: maybe not like her or not. You've got to be

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Speaker 1: super honest, super up forward, state your intentions from the

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Speaker 1: very beginning. This is what I have in mind. This

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Speaker 1: is how I feel about you. This is how I

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Speaker 1: don't feel about you. This is how I feel about

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Speaker 1: your little boy. This is how I feel about you

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Speaker 1: being a single mom. Let's be completely honest. Let's open

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Speaker 1: up communication more than you would, maybe a little bit

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Speaker 1: more than you're comfortable in doing. But that's what she deserves.

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Speaker 1: She deserves your straight up honesty. And if you don't

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Speaker 1: like her after date three, you tell her, hey, I

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Speaker 1: don't think this is going to work out. I think

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Speaker 1: you're a great girl. I think you got a great

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Speaker 1: little boy. But I want to be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to waste your time because your clock

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Speaker 1: is ticking. You need to find a father figure for

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Speaker 1: this boy, and I don't think it's me. So be honest.

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Speaker 1: Don't drag this out, don't be deceptive to her. Okay, now,

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Speaker 1: I think you should do that in any relationship, but

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Speaker 1: you're more hyper aware of it now that she's a

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Speaker 1: single mom. Subdecline here how to forgive my mom? Hey Granger,

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Speaker 1: my name is Kate. I'm from North Dakota. I'm twenty

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Speaker 1: years old. Last time I saw my mom was when

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Speaker 1: I was sixteen. My mom and I don't have a

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Speaker 1: relationship anymore, and we never really did, even though she

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Speaker 1: found out she was pregnant with me, and she didn't

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Speaker 1: want to give me up growing up or excuse me,

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Speaker 1: she didn't want me growing up. It was always about

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Speaker 1: my brother and she never really cared about me. She

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Speaker 1: would kick me out when I was the age of seven,

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Speaker 1: so my dad would come to get me, usually within

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Speaker 1: the first thirty minutes of me being with her. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of other things that she did that were worse.

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Speaker 1: But now that I'm older, this is still affecting me

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Speaker 1: since I keep learning more and more stuff about what

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Speaker 1: she did to me. I haven't seen her since I

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Speaker 1: was sixteen, and I wish I could just forgive her

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Speaker 1: and forget. But the more I learned, the more I

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Speaker 1: hate her. How could I just learn to forget about

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Speaker 1: all that she's done so that it could affect me less.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for your time, Kate. Yeah, Kate, thanks for the email.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to North Dakota. I've been there a couple

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Speaker 1: times this year. I love that state. Tough situation, and

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Speaker 1: thank you for being vulnerable and open it up on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. So forgiveness is a is a tricky thing

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Speaker 1: because it's it's very difficult for our heart to forgive.

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Speaker 1: It's very difficult for our heart to do a lot

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Speaker 1: of things. And our mind, on the other hand, like

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Speaker 1: your mind is clear in this email that what you

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Speaker 1: want to do that with your brain is you want

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Speaker 1: to say, I just want to forgive her so I

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Speaker 1: can move on and it could affect me less. That's

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Speaker 1: what your brain is saying, but your heart is saying, no,

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Speaker 1: I hate her. I can't forgive someone I hate even

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Speaker 1: though this is my biological mother, she has done terrible

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Speaker 1: things to me. She has affected me negatively as I

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Speaker 1: grew up, and I don't want to forgive her. So

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Speaker 1: let's let's unpack that, because we could say, we could

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Speaker 1: say several things about this one. You you are who

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Speaker 1: you are, the strong woman that you are, Kate, because

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Speaker 1: of the lack of mother that you had growing up.

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Speaker 1: So take that away and you're a different person, maybe

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Speaker 1: not as good a person, Which is interesting, right, because

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Speaker 1: we're always a product of how we were brought up

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Speaker 1: and the surroundings and the people that we put ourselves

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Speaker 1: in the same circle with. We're a product of that.

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Speaker 1: So it's interesting to think that if you take that

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Speaker 1: away from you, you're more than likely less of a

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Speaker 1: person because without that affliction and that suffering, without you

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Speaker 1: being refined like gold and hot fire, you're not the

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Speaker 1: refined human that you are today. So that's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: So in a lot of ways, you could thank her

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Speaker 1: for that, even though she didn't mean for you to

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Speaker 1: be a better person. She didn't mean for you to

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Speaker 1: be a refined piece of gold, but that's what she did.

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Speaker 1: And so in a strange way, you thank her for that.

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Speaker 1: That's one thing to unpack. The other thing is forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, it's a tricky thing. Your mind knows

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Speaker 1: that you should, the Bible says that you should, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes when it comes to forgiveness, we have to say

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Speaker 1: things out loud and say it to her, and say

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Speaker 1: it to ourselves and preach it to ourselves, and then

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Speaker 1: let our heart catch up to that later. So I'm

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Speaker 1: not expecting you to say, Mom, I forgive you. I

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Speaker 1: officially forgive you, and I'm moving on. I'm not expecting

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Speaker 1: you to say that and believe it. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. So there's a difference between saying and believing

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Speaker 1: at the same time, and saying it and knowing that

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Speaker 1: that's right, that's the right thing to do, and I

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Speaker 1: believe you're correct, and saying you need to forgive her,

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Speaker 1: you need to love her as your biological mother, regardless

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Speaker 1: of what she's done, because you can't control what she's

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Speaker 1: done and you can't control who she is. But you

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Speaker 1: can only control the controllables, which is you and your

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Speaker 1: reaction to her. So tell her mom, I gotta tell you,

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Speaker 1: call her up. I gotta tell you. I just love

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Speaker 1: you and I forgive you, and you don't have to

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Speaker 1: say but, or here's what you did wrong, or let

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Speaker 1: me make a the list of things that you did

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Speaker 1: that hurt me. Because she knows. She's a human. She

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Speaker 1: might be prideful, she might not admit it, but of

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Speaker 1: course she knows. Any human knows, any mother knows. She

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Speaker 1: knows exactly what happened, she knows exactly what she's still

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Speaker 1: continuing to do. She knows the damage that's been done.

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Speaker 1: So you don't need to tell her. You don't need

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Speaker 1: a reminder. That doesn't do any good for you. But

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Speaker 1: you tell her I love you and I forgive you,

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Speaker 1: and your heart is screaming inside your chest. It's going,

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Speaker 1: I don't forgive you. I hate you. I don't love you.

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Speaker 1: I hate you, Mom. That's what your heart is telling you,

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Speaker 1: but your brain says, no, I'm gonna say this. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna put this out there, and I'm gonna say it

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Speaker 1: over and over until my heart finally catches up. It's

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Speaker 1: like a war of attrition against your heart. Your brain

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Speaker 1: and your heart are at war always. Sometimes they line up.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes they do, and you're blessed if they do. But

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Speaker 1: a lot of times they don't, and so during this

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Speaker 1: war of attrition, your mind needs to win, not your heart.

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Speaker 1: Your feelings don't get to win over your thoughts because

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Speaker 1: your thoughts are calculating everything around you. Your heart is

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Speaker 1: thinking in one direction, just with your gut feeling, and

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Speaker 1: we cannot trust our gut feeling. So use your brain

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Speaker 1: and go get there. You know what I am who

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Speaker 1: I am because I'm a mom, and she brought me

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Speaker 1: to this world. She might not even have wanted me.

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Speaker 1: She might have given more attention to my brother, she

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Speaker 1: might have shipped me off to my dad. But you

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Speaker 1: know what, I got a good dad. A lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't. I got a good dad, and I got

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Speaker 1: a mom that's still alive a lot of people don't.

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Speaker 1: And I could still tell her that I love her,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of people can't. And I might not

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Speaker 1: get that back from her, but I don't need that

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Speaker 1: back from her because I can't control that. So I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell her I forgive her and I love her,

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Speaker 1: And eventually, after I say it enough times, my heart

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Speaker 1: will catch up to it, and then you'll be better

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Speaker 1: for it. Let's hit one more and take a break.

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Speaker 1: Interesting subject, cliente says am I being selfish, mister Smith,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to remain anonymous. I have a four year

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Speaker 1: old boy. I uprooted my life and moved states to

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Speaker 1: be with my current girlfriend. His mom lives hours away

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Speaker 1: from me. My current girlfriend thinks that he will do

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Speaker 1: better at his mom's rather than at our house. She

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Speaker 1: seems to be more and more pushy about the subject.

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Speaker 1: She says it's because she doesn't listen to her, and

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Speaker 1: when he's at his mom's he wasn't acting the way

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Speaker 1: he acts here. I just want to I just don't

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Speaker 1: want to go because I don't want to miss out.

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Speaker 1: Is this me being selfish? I also feel like if

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Speaker 1: he stays, I lose my girlfriend and my kids two

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Speaker 1: boys and one girl. One boy we have together, and

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Speaker 1: she had a girl before me. Been a longtime fan.

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Speaker 1: Love your concerts. Thanks for your time. Yeee okay, Anonymous. Tough, tough,

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Speaker 1: tough situation, sticky, A lot of a lot of deal

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Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of variables here, So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to recap this so my own brain understands. You

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Speaker 1: have a four year old boy, baby mama lives away

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Speaker 1: from you guys, and your current girlfriend doesn't really want

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Speaker 1: much to do with the boy. She has her own kids.

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Speaker 1: She's blaming it on the four year old boy doesn't

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Speaker 1: listen to her, and he listens to his mama, his

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Speaker 1: baby mama. More you you're questioning if you're being selfish

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Speaker 1: by loving your own for year old boy and not

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Speaker 1: being as respecting your girlfriend's wishes, which you have. You

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Speaker 1: have a boy together. This is complicated. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: figure it out myself. So you guys, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of floating variables here. But here's the deal. Let me

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Speaker 1: just focus on one thing since I don't totally understand

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Speaker 1: the family dynamic. You're never ever going to be selfish

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Speaker 1: by giving attention to your four year old boy, which

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Speaker 1: four year olds are difficult. I mean, he's not minding

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend, of course he's not. What does she expect?

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Speaker 1: What does she expect him? Just to be totally obedient

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Speaker 1: to a girlfriend I want to say random girlfriend. Sorry,

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00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: that's disrespectful. But of course he's not minding her. Of

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Speaker 1: course he's not to listen to her more than his

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Speaker 1: own biological mother. This is this is a complicated issue,

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00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 1: but you're you take selfish out of it, because if

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Speaker 1: you're giving attention to your boy. If you're doing what's

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Speaker 1: best for your boy, not to the girlfriend that you

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Speaker 1: haven't married yet, that's not being selfish. That's being a

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Speaker 1: responsible dad to a child you brought into this world.

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Speaker 1: So I say this out of love, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: trying to knock you at all, but man, turn away

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Speaker 1: from that thought. Once again. I'm not totally sure if

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Speaker 1: that's what you mean by being selfish, but I think

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Speaker 1: it does. And I don't want you to ever think

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Speaker 1: you're being selfish by giving attention to your boy. Now

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Speaker 1: that that comes ahead of your girlfriend's kids. It comes

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Speaker 1: ahead of your girlfriend until you marry her and she's

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Speaker 1: your wife and she becomes your number one in your family.

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Speaker 1: Until then, Right now, your priority is your boy, not

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend. Because I can tell you right now just

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Speaker 1: hearing your story, girlfriends, this is probably not your last

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Speaker 1: one you're going to have in your life. There's probably

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Speaker 1: going to be another one. But this is this is

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Speaker 1: This boy is only four years old one time right now,

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Speaker 1: and he needs his daddy. And we could tie all

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Speaker 1: these questions together with that that I've read today, But

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Speaker 1: this four year old boy needs his daddy more than

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00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: this girl needs her boyfriend, Stack up the priorities, get

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Speaker 1: him right, get him straight. You don't have to neglect

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend or her kids. You don't have to neglect

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Speaker 1: baby mama. You don't have to. You could spread yourself out.

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Speaker 1: You could still work a job and be a super

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Speaker 1: dad and float around and be there for all these people.

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Speaker 1: But you got to put that boy first because he's

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Speaker 1: grown up. Asked, and the story I read right before this,

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Speaker 1: when the mama didn't want the girl, Look what happens.

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Speaker 1: You get a twenty year old boy that says, I'm

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00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: so confused, i don't know anything in this life. I'm worried,

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Speaker 1: I'm stressed out. My dad didn't really want me. He

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00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: spent more attention to his girlfriend and her kids and

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Speaker 1: not me. You don't want that. That's a problem you

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00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: don't want to have. You don't want to email me

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00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: with that question. So you have right now, this present moment,

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00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: to make sure you get this fixed, seared up, taken

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00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: care of. Be a responsible dad. That's your priority. Let's

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00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 1: take a break and bear it back. Thanks for listening

397
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Speaker 1: to the podcast. You all. This episode is brought to

398
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: you by Better Help, and this is actually very relevant

399
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 1: to these questions I've been answering today. How well would

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00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: you take care of your car if you had to

401
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,239
Speaker 1: keep the same one your entire life. Well, that's how

402
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: our brains work, so why don't we treat them the

403
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: same way. How we take care of our minds affects

404
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 1: how we experience life, so it's important to invest time

405
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: and care into keeping them healthy. There are plenty of

406
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 1: ways to support a healthy brain, like learning a new

407
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: language or taking power naps. But there's also better Help

408
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: online therapy. Now, those of y'all listening, No, I'm not

409
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist, I'm not a therapist, but I could lead

410
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: you to one that's very easy to get a hold

411
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 1: of and very affordable. Better Help is online therapy that

412
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: offers video, phone and even live chat only therapy sessions

413
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: so you don't have to see anyone on camera if

414
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,439
Speaker 1: you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in

415
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 1: person therapy. You could be matched with a therapist in

416
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: just forty eight hours. This is a really cool service

417
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: that wasn't available not too long ago. Our listeners get

418
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 1: ten percent off their first month at betterhelp dot com

419
00:23:54,359 --> 00:24:00,160
Speaker 1: slash granger. That's better help dot com slash Granger. Want

420
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: to find more ways to get a hold of me,

421
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 1: I'm at all social media at granger Smith. You could

422
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: also get a personal video message from me by going

423
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith, or download the cameo

424
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: app and search for me granger Smith. I will shoot

425
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: you over a customized video right here from my phone

426
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: and say whatever you need me to say, Happy birthday,

427
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: happy anniversary, words of encouragement, something funny, hey, whatever it

428
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 1: might be. You set it up and I'll send it

429
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: for you or whoever you want me to. Go to

430
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Let's get back to some

431
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: more questions. Email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com.

432
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: That's where I'm getting these questions from. I'll answer yours anything,

433
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 1: any subject. My only thing is try to keep it

434
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: about the phone links and don't send this. Don't send

435
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: the same email twice. That's my two rules. Next question

436
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: subject line says in law issues. Hey Granger, my name

437
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: is Danielle. I'm from Texas. I'm struggling with my in

438
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: laws and their disapproval. I moved in with my now

439
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: husband as roommates and friends. When they first got to

440
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: know me, they loved me, and they even told my

441
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: now husband that he should date me. My husband has

442
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 1: had issues with his parents and sisters when it came

443
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: to girlfriends in the past. He always told me that

444
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 1: he would not tell him he was dating. He always

445
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: told me that he would not tell him he was

446
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: dating someone until they liked them as a person. I

447
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: think he meant they he would not tell them, so

448
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: I never understood until he told them we were dating

449
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: about a month. About one month after he told them

450
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: we were dating, they began spreading lives about me and

451
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: my now husband and telling him horrible things that weren't true.

452
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 1: They even trashed my name to the whole family. It

453
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 1: all started with his sister, who still today wants nothing

454
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: to do with me or him. She says that he

455
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: has changed into a different person since he met me.

456
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: I will say that I did screw up, and I

457
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: regret it because I acted out of hurt and anger

458
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: when they were attacking me and my name. I confronted

459
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: them and that was not in the best way. I've apologized,

460
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: but nothing has gotten better today. The rest of the

461
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: family has no issues with me, and now his parents

462
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: are not telling the truth about me and the relationship

463
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: with my husband. Do you have any suggestions on healing

464
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: the relationship with the sister and parent in laws? Yeah,

465
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: thank you, Danielle shout out to my homestate of Texas.

466
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. This is a tough situation. In

467
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 1: law issues come up a lot, or see this quite

468
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: a bit in these emails, so you're not alone. In

469
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: laws are not always going to like the person that

470
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: their son chooses, and I think partly that comes from

471
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: they want the best for their son and you will

472
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 1: one day too, And it's hard to know what the

473
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: best is. It's hard to know a situation completely unless

474
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: you're act in it. So we can't completely blame them

475
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: from looking from the outside in and making judgment calls

476
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 1: and wanting the best and not thinking that you're the best,

477
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 1: And can you blame them? That's what they want out

478
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 1: of love. It's what they really want, and so does

479
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 1: the sister. So knowing that is a huge part of

480
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 1: this whole struggle. Just knowing that they're coming from a

481
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: place of love, even though it doesn't feel like it

482
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: or seem like it or look like it to you,

483
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: They're coming from a place of love for their son.

484
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 1: So that's understandable why they have done this in the

485
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: past to him to the same thing, which tells you

486
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: that it's not about you. It's more about their judgment

487
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: for wanting the best for their son. Once you understand that,

488
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, well, okay, I get it. I get

489
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: they're being very strict on who he's with because they

490
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 1: want the best for him. They might not think I'm

491
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: the best. I've actually lashed out in the past against them.

492
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: I'm battling them for this, and okay, I get it.

493
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: I'd see why they don't like me. So what do

494
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 1: you do now? Because the damage has been done? So

495
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: what do you do now? Then that's your question. Treat

496
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: them with love and respect, grace and forgiveness. You don't

497
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: lash out, You don't judge them back. You control the controllables,

498
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: not the uncontrollables. You can't control how they react to you.

499
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: You can't control their past or how they thought that

500
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 1: he was supposed to grow up as a little boy

501
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: and now he's not. He's a different person. Now that's

502
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: what they think. You can't control what they think, but

503
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: you can control how you react to them. It's not easy,

504
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 1: but that's what you do. You don't ever lash out.

505
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: You listen. It's fact. I would say, listen seventy percent

506
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: of the time, listen and talk thirty percent. And that

507
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: kind of goes with anything in life. People have been

508
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: saying that for thousands of years. Talk less, don't talk

509
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: so much. Let them talk. And as angry as you

510
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: get when you hear these evil things coming out of

511
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 1: their mouth and they're degrading you and saying your husband's change,

512
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: as evil as it sounds in your ears, make the

513
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: words come out of your mouth and say, I'm so

514
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: sorry you feel that way, and I don't want you

515
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: to feel that way, and I'm trying hard to correct that.

516
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: How could I be a better daughter in law to you?

517
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 1: Put it back on him, Ask him a question, how

518
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: can I be a better daughter in law to you?

519
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: Let them answer it, let them see how maybe ridiculous

520
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: their claims are. By trying to answer, how you can

521
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: correct it, And watch as they start backpedaling and say, well,

522
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: it's not it's not what you could do. I mean,

523
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: you're a great girl, and it's yeah, it's just it's

524
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: it's him and he's different now, and it's it's not

525
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: it's not as much. Watch them start back pedaling and

526
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: saying that if you give them a chance, if you

527
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: ask them the question, if you surrender to that. But

528
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 1: if you come in and go, hey, don't I'm not

529
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: like that and not but you're judgmental and that, then

530
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: they get up back on the defense, and then they

531
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: don't like you, and nothing gets fixed. Ever, nothing gets fixed,

532
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, well, it's not my job to fix them.

533
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: Like we should meet in the middle. We should compromise,

534
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: not necessarily. I've never read a book that says you

535
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: have to compromise with your in laws. I don't say

536
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 1: respect them, open up to them, ask them the question,

537
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: ask them how you could be better. Don't lash out,

538
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: and whatever you do, don't do this to your husband.

539
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 1: Don't blame him for his in laws, your mom and

540
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: your dad and your sister and the way you were

541
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: raised and you were coddled growing up and blah blah blah.

542
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: You're a helicoptered avoid that. Let that go. Say it.

543
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: You might think it, your heart might feel it, but

544
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: don't say it. Don't put it out there. It's like

545
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: that first email where we read, just put out forgiveness.

546
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,719
Speaker 1: Let your heart catch up later. Tell them you're sorry.

547
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the damage I've done in

548
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: the past. I'm sorry for lashing out in the past.

549
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done that. And I want to be better.

550
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: I want to be a better daughter in law. How

551
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: help me learn how to do that? Well? You should

552
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: just know I don't. Could you help me with it?

553
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: He can you give me some suggestions? I'm still I'm

554
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: just a work in progress. I'm trying to be a

555
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: good wife. I'm trying to be a good daughter in law,

556
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: trying to be a good sister in law. But I'm

557
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: a work in progress and I'm a human and I

558
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: still make mistakes. Can you help me? Help me learn

559
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: how to be better with that? Who could argue against that?

560
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: Who could put you down when you're saying that, Maybe

561
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: they can the first time, but not the second and

562
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: the third. Hold your ground, Hold that forgiveness, hold that gratefulness,

563
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: hold that honoring of them. Don't let it go. That's

564
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 1: your new front. Be silent seventy percent of the time.

565
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, this is how it's going to get better.

566
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: There's no other way. Next email subjectline says, let the

567
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: light shine, Hey, Grandeur, I'd like to stay anonymous. I'm

568
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: a Christian and twenty four years old. I have a

569
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: few siblings that don't follow the Lord, and it's hard

570
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: for me to look at their life. My mom worries

571
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: about them, and I can't help but worry for them too.

572
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: I'd like to hear your advice on how I could

573
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: be a witness to them and let my light shine.

574
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: Just a note, I don't live close to them in person.

575
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,479
Speaker 1: Is not possible at the moment. I wish with all

576
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: my heart that they would just follow Jesus and live

577
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: for him. I love your podcast. Thanks in advance. The

578
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: question comes from anonymous. Thank you for emailing twenty four

579
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: years old. Don't say where you're from, and hey, you're living,

580
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: You're living the life. This is the life that we've

581
00:32:55,360 --> 00:33:00,719
Speaker 1: been called for. Families are split up, friends, they're split up,

582
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: different mentalities, different world views, no surprise. So you're asking

583
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: how you could let your light shine? Well, I believe

584
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: that you already know. I believe it's part of your question.

585
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: Is you already know how to let your light shine?

586
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: You're just wanting reassurance from me, But it starts with

587
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: you and yourself. It starts with waking up and spending

588
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: time in the Word, and not just knowing the Word

589
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: of God, but knowing the God who wrote the word.

590
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: How well do you know the God behind the word

591
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: and not just the Word of God. That would be

592
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: my question, my first question to you, and the answer

593
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: should be not enough, not enough. So tomorrow I'm going

594
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: to start all over a lot of prayer, a lot

595
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: of wise counsel. And my three answers to any question

596
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: are prayer, read the Word, seek wise counsel. But that's

597
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: what I do. Those are my three answers to every question. Prayer,

598
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: read the Bible, seequist counsel. And with this situation, your situation,

599
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: well even better, that's easy. That's those three things easily

600
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: fix your question. Now, it's not gonna save them, it's

601
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: not going to convince them of anything, but it's gonna

602
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: help you be that light that you're talking about. It's

603
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: gonna help you be that light for them. So then

604
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: it can also helps you keep accountable, like, hey, I

605
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: better not I better not mess up. I better not

606
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: be a hypocrite to what I'm trying to say, because

607
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: why because they're gonna see me as soon as they

608
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: see me. Be a hypocrite on what I'm trying to

609
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,879
Speaker 1: tell them. They're never gonna believe it. So you show

610
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: them the gospel. The gospel is the power of God

611
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: for salvation. The gospel is the power of it. So

612
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: you tell them the gospel. What's the gospel? Well, did

613
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,720
Speaker 1: you know? God became flesh and came to this earth

614
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: to live a life, to live a life of example

615
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: for us. He died on a cross, was crucified in

616
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: front of hundreds of eyewitnesses, was resurrected, came back to

617
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: life life miraculously, the only person to ever come back

618
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: to life recorded in history. I witnessed, and people wrote

619
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 1: it down. Did you know that? Did you know he

620
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: did that? So he conquered death so we wouldn't have

621
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: to because we weren't capable of it. We weren't capable

622
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: of defeating our sin. And our sin is keeping us

623
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: from a righteous God, a holy God. We could never

624
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: approach God with our sin. We're rebels, sinful rebels. So

625
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: Jesus comes down, the Son of God, and he takes

626
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: the place of us, so that when God looks at us,

627
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: he sees his son, he sees perfect perfection. Because that's

628
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: what he was on this earth. He shields us from that,

629
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: He takes the place of that for us, He abides

630
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: in us. That's the gospel. And all you got to

631
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: do is believe that message, and you'll be shielded from that.

632
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 1: You'll get eternal life, you'll be cleansed, you'll start hating

633
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: your own sin. That's the gospel. So we preached that.

634
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: How long did that take me? Thirty seconds? So you

635
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: say that and someone says, I don't believe that garbage,

636
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: go yeah, I used to feel that way too. I understand,

637
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. Just

638
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: because you don't understand it or you think it's garbage

639
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: doesn't change the fact that it did happen. And I'm

640
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: not trying to push you down your throat. I'm just

641
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: trying to tell you out of love for you, this

642
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: is the answer to joy and peace, love, hope. That's

643
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: the answer to it. That's it. That's shining a light.

644
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 1: Don't be a hypocrite. It's easy to do that. Next question,

645
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: subject line says memorizing lines for a play. Hey Granger,

646
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: my name is Grant Tyler. I'm fifteen years old from Alabama.

647
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: This year for VBS at my church. I got the

648
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: lead role for a drama segment. I was thrilled to

649
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: see that I got it. There's a small issue, though,

650
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: I can't figure out how to memorize my lines. I

651
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 1: have about three weeks to memorize it. How do you

652
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: memorize whenever you're filming for a movie? Thanks Grant, Tyler Grant,

653
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: thanks for the email. Buddy fifteen years old from Alabama,

654
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: great state. Shout out to y'all. Thanks for opening up

655
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: to me. This is really cool you got this spot.

656
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: And man, that's a great question, because when I took

657
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: on the role of this movie that we shot this year,

658
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: that's one of the things I just really didn't think

659
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: about was how much memorization was going to go into

660
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 1: all these lines. And we shot for four weeks. Every

661
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: day I had the lead role, I'm talking a lot.

662
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,320
Speaker 1: Not only am I saying lines, but I'm also playing

663
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 1: off other people's lines, so that I almost have to

664
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: know all their lines too. So if I'm sitting at

665
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: a dinner table and there's all these people having this

666
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 1: dinner conversation, I have to know what they're saying and

667
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: how they that other person reacts to that person. Then

668
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: that person says something, and now it's my turn to

669
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: react to this person on my left, and so I'm

670
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: memorizing everything. And it was a lot. So I totally

671
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: get it, Grant, But you know that there's a lot

672
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: of ways that different brains memorized different ways, and there's

673
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: apps for that, and there's YouTube videos you could watch

674
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 1: on that. But but what I found best for me

675
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: and my personality and my brain was just I would

676
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: go over it, and I would sit down with my

677
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: lines the night before and I would just read them

678
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: over and over and over about ten times. I'd read

679
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: my lines about ten times, and then on the tenth time,

680
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: I would turn my script over and I would say

681
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: it out loud, and I would say it and I

682
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,879
Speaker 1: would say the general idea what the other person said back,

683
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: and then I would say my line again, and then

684
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: I would stumble, and I'd flip the script and I'd

685
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: look at it and I would say, oh, dang it,

686
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: there was there was that line right there, and I'd

687
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 1: flip the script back over again and I would start

688
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: again from the top, and I'd do that till I

689
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: got it down. And when I when I can get

690
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 1: it down, I would do it about ten times, so

691
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: ten times reading it, ten times saying it out loud

692
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 1: without reading it, and usually it starts kind of going

693
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: in the memory bank by then, and I would move

694
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: on and I would, you know, make a cup of coffee,

695
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 1: I'd go do some other things, and i'd go back

696
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: and take the script and start over to start the

697
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,839
Speaker 1: process again. Until I didn't need the script at all.

698
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: I could just drive around in my truck and say, Okay,

699
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: what's scene number one fifty seven And I could just

700
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,799
Speaker 1: say it, and then I want to stumble halfway through

701
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: it and get the script, and oh, there it is, there,

702
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 1: it is there, it is. But it's just repetition, repetition,

703
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 1: over and over. Good luck with that, brother. Next question,

704
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: subject line says life, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Devon,

705
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: and I've been probably Devin. My name's Devin, and I've

706
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: been wondering about something. I feel like I'm taking the

707
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: wrong path in life and going against God's word. I've

708
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: been doing things behind my parents back, and I know

709
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: that it's wrong, but the temptation keeps pulling me back,

710
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: and I do the same things. I ask for redemption for.

711
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: I want to stop, but I don't know how what's

712
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: your advice? Thanks Devin, I appreciate you, buddy. Doesn't say

713
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: where you're from or how old you are, but thank

714
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: you for thanks for the email. So here's the thing.

715
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: This is going to go back to a heart question again.

716
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 1: We're going back to the heart versus of mind. So

717
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: that's very clear in your email. Your mind knows what

718
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: to do and what not to do, but your heart

719
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 1: keeps taking you back again. So it's a battle. This

720
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: is a battle of attrition between the heart and the mind.

721
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: The mind needs to win, the heart doesn't get to win. Y'all,

722
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: don't listen to people that say follow your heart, go

723
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: with your gut. Reject those things. Don't go with your gut.

724
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 1: Don't follow your heart. Use your brain. Now, it's great

725
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 1: to have feelings, it's great to have the heart could

726
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: lead you passionately somewhere, but the brain needs to be

727
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: the one directing. So it's like if the heart's the

728
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: engine of the truck and it's going it's revving up,

729
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: but your brain's the steering will and the breaks your

730
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: brain gets to say accelerator down, break on, turn left,

731
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: and the heart's just read in reven reven revin reven. Okay,

732
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: so you need both, and it's good to have both.

733
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: The truck needs both, but you need to be able

734
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 1: to direct it with your mind. Use your mind, not

735
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: your heart. Turn this daring with your mind, Accelerate with

736
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 1: your mind, hit the brakes with your mind, and let

737
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: all the reven be done by your heart. Okay, So

738
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: the Bible says, you said you're taking the wrong path.

739
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 1: You're going against God's word. The Bible says that the

740
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: heart is wicked and deceitful, and we can't control it.

741
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: So what does that mean. It's like, well, what do

742
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,919
Speaker 1: you mean we can't control it? Well, what do we do?

743
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: Surrender prayer back into God's word? We say, God, God,

744
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm failing. I'm failing this this specific thing. I'm doing

745
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 1: this again. I can't stop it. Lead me, not into temptation,

746
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: Deliver me. Turn my heart around. The Bible says that

747
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: my heart is in the palm of your hand. You

748
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: can direct it how you want. Turn it this way,

749
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 1: turn it back to you, turn it back to the light.

750
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to walk in the dark anymore. I'm

751
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 1: tired of walking in the dark. I don't want to

752
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: go there. Take me back to the light, directly to

753
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 1: the light. Turn me this way. I can't do it alone.

754
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 1: I need you. I'm totally surrendering to you. I'm in

755
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: the boat and I'm pulling down the sails and I'm

756
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 1: throwing the oars in the water, and I'm saying, you

757
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 1: guide this boat because I'm tired. I'm struggling, my arms

758
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 1: are weak, I'm tired of rowing. I'm tired of the

759
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: wind taking me every which way. So you take me.

760
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 1: You control the source of this river. You can control

761
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 1: the destination of this river. You can control the current

762
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: of this river. And I'm just sitting in the boat.

763
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 1: Take me there. I surrender to you. That's it. And

764
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: until you do that, until you decide to throw the

765
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: oars in the water, to take your sails down, to

766
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 1: surrender to that, You're probably gonna keep slipping back into

767
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: the dark. That's the beauty of it. Isn't that amazing?

768
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 1: Isn't that amazing? Just surrender. We hate that word in

769
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: the US, In fact, most of the world, we hate

770
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 1: that surrender. We don't like throwing in the towel, we

771
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: don't like waving a white flag, we don't like the

772
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: words surrender because that shows weakness. It defines weakness in us.

773
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: But God says, yes, yes, that defines weakness in you,

774
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 1: and I have the power. So give it back to me.

775
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,919
Speaker 1: Let me do it, Let me do it for you.

776
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: Surrender to me, get back in my word, get back

777
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: and get back on your knees. It's like God, I'm

778
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: back on I'm back here again. I'm acting. I'm asking

779
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 1: the same thing again, but I'm circling the wagons on

780
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 1: this and I'm not gonna let this go. I'm giving

781
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,399
Speaker 1: it back to you. Change my heart, take me, take

782
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: me back out of the dark, back in the light.

783
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: That's it, Devin, Let's hit up one more here. Subjiccline

784
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,840
Speaker 1: says depression. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Carson. I'm a

785
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: huge fan, absolutely love your music in your podcast. I

786
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: listen all the time. My question for you today is

787
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: what's the best advice I can give someone who's dealing

788
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,240
Speaker 1: with depression and how I can keep them to see

789
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 1: how beautiful life is. Thank you and God bless ye

790
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: yee say how to earl for me? Sincerely, Carson. Yeah, Depression,

791
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 1: it's a big thing. It's an epidemic in this country.

792
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: Here's the epidemics in this country that I've learned from

793
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: this podcast. Heartbreak, loneliness, and depression, and sometimes all three

794
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 1: are related. In fact, a lot of times all three

795
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: are related. Heartbreak includes grief. Heartbreak is a form of grief.

796
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: It's a broken heart from losing somebody or not having something,

797
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: some dream, something you've always wanted or always thought you

798
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: could have. It's gone heartbreak, grief, loneliness. Sometimes you could

799
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 1: be lonely with somebody, sometimes you could be lonely alone.

800
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,800
Speaker 1: And the depression is the final result of all this together.

801
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes depression could be the result of other things, other factors,

802
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 1: or it could be come from loneliness and heartbreak or

803
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: both at the same time. But these are three epidemics

804
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 1: I see come through on questions all the time. In fact,

805
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 1: right now as I'm talking, someone is typing an email

806
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 1: to me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com asking about

807
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 1: one of those three things. I guarantee it it's epidemic

808
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 1: in this world. So what do you do? Your question

809
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,240
Speaker 1: is what's the advice I can give someone who's dealing

810
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 1: with depression and how I could help them see how

811
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: beautiful life is. That's an interesting question. Right after that

812
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: you say thank you and God bless lowercase G God,

813
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: lowercase G, thank you and lowercase G God bless. Interesting

814
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: Interesting because because the only thing I would tell you

815
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: is that creation a created being like me and you

816
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: and your friend. We were created to know our creator.

817
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 1: Separation from our creator creates dissonance, darkness, depression, lost, not

818
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 1: knowing what to do, not knowing how to fulfill ourselves,

819
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 1: endlessly searching for purpose and meaning. This is like ancient stuff,

820
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,760
Speaker 1: like people have been writing about this for thousands of years,

821
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: the meaning of life, purpose behind our life, how to

822
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 1: find our life, how to find happiness. There are always questions,

823
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 1: and the answer is always to create. Shun needs to

824
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: find the create tour. Once the creation finds the creator,

825
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:10,800
Speaker 1: all those answers come together. When you think about creation

826
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: and you think about anything that's been created. You think

827
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: about when you have a problem with your Chevy truck

828
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: and you take it to your local mechanic and he goes, man,

829
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: this is a Chevy thing, this is a computer thing

830
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: that was built into the truck. This is beyond what

831
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,280
Speaker 1: I could fix. And you take it to the local

832
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 1: Rednak who knows everything about trucks, and he goes, this

833
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 1: is beyond me. So what do you do? What do

834
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: you do when you get those answers? You take it

835
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: to the Chevy dealership, you take it back to the

836
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 1: creator and you say, hey, you made this truck. It's

837
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: not running right. I've tried other things to fix it.

838
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,760
Speaker 1: I've tried myself. I've gotten under the hood, I've listened

839
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: to it. I've taken it to other people that know

840
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: about trucks but can't fix it. It's not running right,

841
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: you fix it. So then the creator of the truck goes, yeah,

842
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: we built it. We built it from scratch. We built

843
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: every component of it. We put it together piece by piece.

844
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: We've got the instruction manual right here. We have a

845
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: copy for you. Here it is for us. It's called

846
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: the Bible. So they give you the instruction manual and

847
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 1: you look at it and you go, yeah, yeah, okay,

848
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,320
Speaker 1: I see right. Here's the troubleshooting guide in the back

849
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: and it says see page one six and there it is,

850
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: and you go, but I can't fix that, And the

851
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: creator of the truck goes, yeah, well we have that

852
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: part and we know exactly why this is failing. Let

853
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 1: me do it for you. So you go back to

854
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 1: the creator, to the dealership, and you look at the

855
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 1: manual and you go over it. This is how depression

856
00:48:52,200 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 1: gets fixed. There are some times when depression is chemical

857
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,319
Speaker 1: imbalance in the brain and a doctor has to look

858
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: at it. So I would say, I would say, you,

859
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 1: have you gotten to the doctor? Have you have you

860
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 1: been diagnosed with something. I'm not talking about some kind

861
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: of mental disorder that no one knows the answer for.

862
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, Yeah, Okay, there's the chemical imbalance right now.

863
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 1: We could see it on the cat scan. So here's

864
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:25,760
Speaker 1: here's a treatment for it. There's that, But generally speaking,

865
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: for all of it, for all the creation, we go

866
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 1: back to the creator. So so Carson, you direct him

867
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: back to his maker. You'd make him look back at

868
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 1: his maker, because then he sees his maker and he sees, oh,

869
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 1: there's something bigger. There's a source to the river, there's

870
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,720
Speaker 1: a destination, there's a purpose, there's a path, there's a plan,

871
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: and it's not mine and it's not my ores that

872
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: do it. It's not the sale on this boat that

873
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 1: does it. It's not this motor back here that keeps failing.

874
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 1: And it's running out of gas and it's not running

875
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,799
Speaker 1: right and I can't get it started. It's none of that.

876
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 1: It's the source of the river that's pushing the water

877
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 1: in one direction. And it has a purpose. Even though

878
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 1: it has turns and twists and obstacles and boulders and

879
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: bridges that have gone down, and rapids and shallow and

880
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 1: deep and calm, it all has a purpose because it's

881
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 1: coming from a source. It's coming from a creator. So

882
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: you direct your friend back at that, so he goes, Oh,

883
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: this isn't just meaningless. This life isn't purposeless. The suffering

884
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 1: that I've been through matters for me. It's refining me

885
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 1: like gold and a hot fire. It's making me more pure,

886
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: more perfect, so that I could get closer to the destination.

887
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:40,399
Speaker 1: That way, it's like a father disciplining his child. Oh,

888
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: I get it now, I'm being disciplined so that I

889
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: could be better, so that I could be better for

890
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: what I need my purpose to be. I get it.

891
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: There's some roadmap now. Depression is so dark and it

892
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: just envelops you when you realize what's the purpose? Who cares?

893
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 1: Why does it matter? Why should I even wake up tomorrow?

894
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 1: That's a scary, scary thought. Why should why? What's the purpose?

895
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 1: Why to even wake up tomorrow? So you redirect them

896
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 1: back to the creator and you go, there is a

897
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 1: purpose for you. As much as you can't see it. It

898
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you can't see it. A little

899
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: twig floating down the river can't see the final destination.

900
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 1: It just goes. And if it worried about that final destination,

901
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: it would just go every which way and get lost

902
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 1: and sink. So you go. You don't have to know

903
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: the purpose. You just have to know that someone else

904
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: made a purpose for you, and it matters and you

905
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:56,760
Speaker 1: matter for that. Direct them back there. Love you guys,

906
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the

907
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You

908
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

909
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that

910
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you

911
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have

912
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,

913
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 1: email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yigi