WEBVTT - Reckless Replay: You're Not Even a Citizen??? 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.160 Welcome to Can't Beleave Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:24.799 and the Black Effects. 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:17.119 And just like that, we're back on the air. 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:21.079 Happy Wednesday, y'all, welcome back to get another carefully reckless 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:23.560 episode with your Girl just hilarious. I'm gonn jump straight in. 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:26.079 We got more voice notes. I love it, y'all, I 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:29.280 love it. Shit, I still got a lot of stories 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:32.760 to read, but I'll revisit that next week. We're gonna 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.960 start with the voice notes. Make those priority this week. 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:38.879 How I'm gonna do it is I'll do for the 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:43.120 first two weeks out of the month, I'll do voice notes, 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:45.160 and then the last two weeks out of the month, 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:48.360 I'll do the red stories. Because I still want you 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:51.640 guys to send in paragraphs or whatever. I joke and play. 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.080 When I say you, guys, don't punctuate. I can read 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.080 through it and I can make sense of it unless 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:59.720 you just plain damn slow. All right, get your shit together. 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.360 We're going to start off, jump straight into it. 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:02.959 Here we go. 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:06.320 Hey, Jess, I just want to say I've been listening 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.720 to you since episode one of this podcast, and girl, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:10.319 I love you. 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:10.800 I love you. 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:11.360 Reels. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.360 I missed just with the mess, but I know why 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.360 you stopped doing it with your son in Chadwick, and 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.480 I respect that. But anyways, my mess is family related, 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:22.840 and I'm gonna try to keep it shorter than it 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:26.080 really could get. So I have a cousin, and me 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:30.440 and that cousin grew up kind of like sister brother cousins, 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:33.440 similar age. When we got to be older, you know, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.280 groups mingle. I would date his friends. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:38.480 He did if you were my friends, always was, you know. 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:40.520 That's how we went. As we got a little older, 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.080 it started to seem. 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:43.560 Like he wanted to kind of shut me off but 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:47.280 still date my friends. So I had a friend and 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:49.840 at the time, he had a child on the way, 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.360 and I invited my friend to a family event. She 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:57.160 met my cousin, unknowing to me, they exchanged numbers. Fast 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.640 forward a few weeks later, him and his baby's mother 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.400 fell out because she went through his phone and found 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:06.200 messages of him and my friend. When I approached my 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.960 friend about it, she kind of told me, basically, it's 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:09.640 ount of your business. 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:11.600 I didn't tell you it's not your business, So I 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:12.520 left it at that. 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.000 From there, she kind of just distanced herself from me 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:17.760 and let it be known that she didn't want to 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.920 be my friend no more. Basically, she got what she 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:23.600 was there for. So that was the end of our friendship. 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.440 My cousin and I never really mended things back to 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.640 where we were, but you know, family is family, and 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:29.360 I still. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:30.519 Was around him hearing them. 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.800 He meets another friend of mine, same thing, things go 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.919 left with them. She's actually a closer friend of mine, 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.440 and she tells me what he's actually says about me 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.040 when he's with her, the things he says about me, 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:46.520 and gives me insight on why every time he dates 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.760 one of my friends they stopped being my friend. He 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.760 was going as far as saying anything that you hear 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:56.800 from my cousin, don't believe it. Just completely assassinated my character, 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.520 just attacking me and making me out there be somebody 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.520 I wasn't because he was a piece of shit to 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:06.920 say it the least way, cheating, running around and always 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:08.959 assumed that I was going to be the reason why 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.840 he got caught up, instead of realizing that everything you 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:13.919 do in the dark comes to the light. So now 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.240 after I'm aware of this is what he says about me, 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.200 I've just since myself even more the girl that I 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.440 was originally friends with that stop being friends with me 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:24.360 has been in the background all this time, and now 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:29.360 she's pregnant, he's gotten himself into legal trouble, and she's 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:31.040 going to be dealing with. 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:32.480 A child on her own for a bit. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:37.880 I have history with that particular situation, not with the child, 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.080 but with having the loved one go away because of 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:43.520 the law, and I'm battling should I reach out to 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.400 her After everything I've done, I've lost two good friends 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.960 behind my cousin, but essentially those were not my friends. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.080 I've come to terms with that also that if they 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.400 were supposed to be my friends, they'd be in my life, 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:59.440 and it's you know, I take responsibility for still allowing 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:03.040 him to be my friends, but I also understand that again, 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:04.000 if they were my friend. 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:04.520 They would be there. 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.000 I respect the second one more because she at least 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.640 was honest with me about it, But I'm battling with 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.640 the fact that the first one is carrying a child 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:16.120 that is a part of my blood, and then also 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:17.919 knowing what she's going to be dealing with because my 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:19.919 cousin is going to be away, and I don't know 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.120 if I should reach out or if I should just 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:25.240 be like, bitch, fuck you, this is your karma from 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.080 five years ago, because I told you I asked not 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.080 to fuck with him. 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.240 Help me, Jess, help me, girl, girl. 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:33.200 First of all, I just want to say, you sound 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:35.720 just like Gabrielle Union girls. What a god you got 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:37.920 the Gabrielle Union voice. Hey, you sound like somebody else, 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.679 but that is not why you're writing me today, all right. 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:42.600 So anyway, let's get into it. 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.040 I love your voice, by the way, girl, the raspiness, Girl, 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:47.240 I listen. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:48.960 I ain't weird and nothing like that. 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.040 I just love certain voices, girl, and yours is one 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.240 of them. Okay, So you can go about this two 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.520 different ways now, and you would be totally within your right, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.680 well within your right to pick either one. 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:02.360 Now. 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.160 The fact that he does have a child on the way, 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:08.800 and he is by the first friend who was gonna 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:11.440 be destined to get that karma one way or another. 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:13.560 This is still your blood. 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:15.560 So I can tell that you're a family person, you know, 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:18.440 like you said, you and your cousin were raised as siblings, 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.960 you know, and you see that a lot in families period. 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:21.400 You know. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:23.560 I was gonna say black families, but I mean, because 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.400 that's the only race that I've seen it in, because 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:26.360 that's the only race I am. 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.400 But we do that. 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:30.839 You know, my cousin London was raised as my sister. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:32.919 You know my cousin Terrell was raised as my brother, 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.000 and we are big on family, a very big family 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:40.080 oriented family. So I do understand that. Now, although you 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:41.880 and your cousin are not as tight as you guys 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:43.880 used to be thanks to the females and all the 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.400 shit that he does or whatever, you seem to still 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:48.880 have a certain attachment. You always have him in your 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:50.760 heart somewhere because you guys were raised together. It's a 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:53.520 lot of history there now just wasn't regular cousins. Y'all 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:55.200 were like siblings slash cousins. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:58.000 So I get it. That's a bond there. 0:05:58.240 --> 0:05:59.800 It's just been tampered with a little bit, but it 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.719 still nonetheless a bond. I know you would love to 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.720 see his child grow beautifully and you know healthy. I 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:07.120 know you would love to be there for the birth. 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:08.119 I can just tell. 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:09.600 I can hear it in your voice. 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:11.880 You love your cousin still and you would love anything 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:14.160 that he produced, and that would be a baby and 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:18.440 your first friend child now listen, I ain't gonna let 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:22.240 my personal experiences and how I feel about it dictate 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:25.200 how I speak to you with this situation, because I'm 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.599 not going to be biased at all. But Karma was 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.560 definitely knocking at her door. She answered it, she got it. 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:33.520 I would only reach out to her if it is 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:36.320 only about the baby, just to be honest with you, 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:40.320 because females like that, they don't tend to change. And 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.000 she was already grown when she made this big ass 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:47.400 grown decision at her big age. And then your cousin 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:51.000 just moves so recklessly. Hey didn't ever seem to be 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.760 serious with either of your friends. It's just females that 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.880 he was just fucking and you are forewarning these girls, 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.480 and they're still just going along with it, you know, like, 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.680 oh whatever, whatever, because I bet he find is hell 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:03.239 any I bet he fucking fine. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:04.320 Child. 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:08.120 Please, But what's significant about your story is his family. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.680 I get a lot of relationship stories and questions and 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:14.560 things that I would advise people on, but this is family, 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.000 and so this is a little bit more delicate, you know, 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:20.240 because y'all are always gonna be blood. I want to 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.720 know have you talked to him since he's been in jail, 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:24.800 because obviously that's where he is. You said he got 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.040 into some legal trouble in this girl. She will be 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:29.720 raising the baby on her own for a while, and 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:31.400 then he has another baby as well, because he had 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:33.560 a girlfriend the whole time he was fucking with your friends. Man, 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:37.400 this nigga's everywhere. Well he was everywhere. Now he is 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:42.360 in one place for a long time. But have you 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.880 talked to him? Has he written you? Has he wrote you? 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.560 Has he you know? Is there other letters? Like? 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.080 Because I think that you should speak to him first 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.120 as well. I mean it's not not to ask his 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:56.840 permission about the baby, but I think you should kind 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.480 of bridge that gap to reconcile, be the bigger person, 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:01.920 and kind of get through to him a little bit. Like, look, man, 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.360 we were raised a particular way. We were raised as 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.080 brother and sister. Okay, we got older, we went our 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.840 separate ways, and you know, you started dating my friends, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.720 and you know you're a womanizer, You're not really a loyal, 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.000 faithful guy. So yes, I told my friends. I was 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:18.520 forewarning my friends. I didn't want to see my friends hurt. 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.480 You're always going to be my cousin. You were in 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:22.640 a relationship, for God's sake, So I was actually trying 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.440 to save you too, and save the damn girl that 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:27.320 you were with who had your baby. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:28.480 You know at that. 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.760 Time, did you fuck around get one of my friends pregnant, 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.440 wasn't even win her, then you fuck another one of 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:36.640 my friends and the cycle would have probably still been 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:39.400 going on today if you were physically able to fuck 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:41.640 more friends of mine. I don't think you should blame 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.720 yourself for any of this, Honey. I heard you say, 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:45.600 you know it's my fault that I put him around 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:45.959 my friends. 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.560 No, people are people, it's social. You could be. 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.840 Around women that Nigga can be around women without sick 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:51.600 and is dick and one. 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.320 It don't matter. No, that's not your fault. You're not 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:55.160 his supervisor. 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:58.080 You don't have to supervise his interactions with women just 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.760 because they're your friends. You shouldn't feel that way. I 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:03.080 think you should reach out to him, Definitely have a 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:06.559 conversation with him and just be real and tell him 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:08.840 you have this baby on the way by. You know 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.160 one of my former friends, and I want to reach 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.160 out to her. I don't know how you're feeling about it, 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.280 do you think it's yours. First of all, baby, find 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:17.160 out if it's because you know these bitches they ain't 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.240 shit and maybe lying, and we know what type of 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.320 friend the first one is, so we don't know. But 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.600 find out if the baby is his, or see if 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.200 he even thinks it his or whatever. And out of 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.720 the love for the baby would be the only fucking 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.120 reason that I would reach out to her. But to 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.800 be honest, if I can give you my like what 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.120 I would do, I wouldn't. I wouldn't reach out at all. 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.920 I wouldn't. You're gonna get to know the baby, you're 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:41.520 gonna grow up. 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.080 And then that friend may even have animosity toward you, 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:47.160 because nobody likes to meet the person that told them 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.000 that they would be here one day and they're actually there. 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.600 Nobody likes that I told you so. 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.160 And even though you're probably not that type of person, 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:56.400 she gonna fill that off the rip and she's gonna 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.640 already be probably bitter toward you because now she's in 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.760 a such that she never thought she would be in 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.800 had she listened to her friend that one year, she 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.760 wouldn't be here. But it's aside, the cookie crumbles, So 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.680 only if it's about the baby if the baby is his. 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:17.600 But if not, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. But check back 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.000 in with me, girl, check back in now. 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:21.760 We got a commercial and if you click off of 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:23.760 this podcast, I swear I'm an beat your ass. 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:28.720 Listen. All right, Moving on, guys. 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:30.840 Hi, Jess, I had a question for you. I recently 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:33.080 ended my relationship of a year and a half with 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:36.280 a man. We lived together. We don't have any children together, 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.080 but he was very close with my children. He didn't 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.040 have any children of his own. But I ended the 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.079 relationship for a couple of different reasons. One I had 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.439 helped him apply for a better job because he was 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:51.920 working a minimum wage job, and through that I found 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:55.360 out that he was not a US citizen, and so 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.960 he lied to me about his citizenship, which is a 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:00.240 red flag for me because I'm in the military, could 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.319 have affected me and my clearance to I ended the 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:05.760 relationship because over a year and a half, I never 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.040 got to meet his family, even though they're here locally. 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:09.920 And that's what I reflected to me, because I want 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:14.160 a family who's going to embrace me my children and 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.000 just the lying and all that. But I still feel 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.440 so bad about ending the relationship because I still have 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:23.000 love for him. How am I able to move on 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:27.640 from this? Because it wasn't like it ended nasty per se. 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:29.600 It just I got to a point where I couldn't 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:33.520 accept what was happening anymore because that was a huge lie. 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.520 And then the family thing really threw me off. But 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:42.080 my question to you is how can I move forward 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:45.400 and moving on from this relationship? I could really use 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.600 any advice that you have. Thank you so much. I 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:48.760 love you and your comedy. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.680 Oh you're so sweet. Thank you girl. I appreciate that. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.439 I appreciate that you love my comedy and also appreciate 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:59.520 what you do for your country. So with that being said, yes, 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:04.240 there's no way that he could have possibly thought to 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:08.840 not eventually tell you the truth when he realized, like 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:13.760 how detrimental shit could have gotten for you and your family, 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:15.560 Like you said, they could have affected your clearance. 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.199 That's a bold lie. That's a huge lie. 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:23.000 Now, I do understand sometimes people keep these type of 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:28.679 things from people just protecting themselves from being broken up 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.800 with or you know, from being looked that crazy or 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:35.400 being deported or but you loved him, you know, y'all 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.360 are in a relationship for over a year and a half, 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.000 So you think I'm gonna be with you and you 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.280 don't tell me about this shit, but I gotta find 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:44.880 out because I'm actually trying to. 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:46.720 Help you work, girl. 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.240 So what I would say, what could also be an option, 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:54.160 is that he knew that the only way that he 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.800 could be grants a citizenship is if he could get married. 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:01.000 I think that he probably wanted to you, who's you 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:02.760 to marry him? 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:04.440 Really really fall in love with you. 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.480 Because he probably didn't have any money, because you obviously 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.240 you said he was trying to get him a job. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:11.800 You know, usually people come over here and they pay 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.559 for someone to marry them so they can get their card. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:16.800 You know what I'm saying. I know lots of people 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:21.079 that has done it. That's a real thing. But because 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.160 he knew he didn't have any money, he just chose 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.720 to do it the more fucked up way. And I 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.400 think he still fell for you. I'm not saying you 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.280 don't love you. I'm just saying maybe that wasn't the 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.760 initial agenda upon meeting you and you're in the military 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.640 and all that, because that could be the only reason 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:41.320 why I'm thinking that this man didn't tell you about 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:44.040 that shit, Like you and your family could be going 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:46.080 through some shit right now because he didn't keep it 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.640 upfront with you. That's not good to even put you 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.120 and your kids at jeopardy like that. 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:54.439 So do you really love me? Was this year and 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.400 a half fake? Or what? Like? I need some fucking answers, 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.960 you know what I'm saying? Like that? That is me speaking? 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.000 Is you demanding for answers? There? 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:04.560 Like, just be honest with me. I already love you, 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.600 We already did the work in the relationship. 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:08.360 Is this real? Do you love me? 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.880 Or did you just have a plan to be granted 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:15.200 citizenship and you use me to do so eventually? Because, 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:16.720 like you said, you want a family, So I know 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.080 y'all have talked about marriage. Y'all had to. I don't 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.160 even have to ask you that. I know that because 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:25.440 you want a family, you want his family to accept 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.800 your kids. You've been his girlfriend for over a fucking 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.600 year and to some that may not be a lot 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.360 of time. That's a lot of time to me, especially 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.640 if you're around my kids and you know, you know 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.600 my family and I don't know yours. Yes, that's a 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:42.240 red flag, Yes, ma'am. Why the hell did not get 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.480 to meet your mom? Why the hell can I meet 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:48.200 your family? Would he say to you you said they're 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.560 locally here. Did he ever give you an answer on 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:55.080 why he hasn't let you meet them yet, or he 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.160 hasn't introduced you or even you know what I'm saying. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:58.880 Have you ever talked to his mother on the phone? 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:02.680 Have you ever even seen him FaceTime? Just anything? If 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:07.960 not for real, then my point is proven to be true. 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:13.440 He never really had any real, any real plans on 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:16.640 keeping you around once y'all got married. You got that 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.640 green call girl, that boy was gonna be out. And 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:22.360 I really honestly believe that. I really honestly believe that, 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:24.320 because why the hell haven't you met his mom and 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.880 his other family. I'm very very sorry that you're going 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.520 through this. I'm sorry for you and your babies because 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.040 I know that they've already gotten to know him obviously, 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.480 I mean shit, they had to, they had to get 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:37.680 to know him. I do want to extend an apology, like, 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:39.960 oh my god, I hate that you're going through that, 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.440 and you don't deserve it, but I think that you 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:49.080 should let it go because it's already a year and 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.440 a half of your time wasted. 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.640 And the reason why because I know you love him. 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.880 The reason why I say wasted is because I want 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.680 to open your eyes to what the fuck I think 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.760 he was really trying to do. And I know you 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:05.560 had to think it in the back of your mind, 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.120 but because you love him, you probably didn't want to 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:12.160 face it. That's what he was doing, right that was 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.760 his process the whole time. Like I said, I won't 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:18.960 say he don't love you, but he definitely had an agenda. 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.600 It was a motive behind all this love and this 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:24.680 relationship and all that. 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.480 I think it's best for you to leave, I do 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:29.840 while you put a whole year and a half in it, 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.680 and that is not a short amount of time. I 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:38.560 don't think it's an extremely long amount of time for 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.880 you to leave that shit alone right now, because imagine 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.560 y'all could be five years in and then this motherfuckers, 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.360 and then it's the way you found out. You found 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.560 out because you were trying to help him get a job, 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:51.760 So he would have never told you this. 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:52.920 You understand what I'm saying. 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:54.720 You would have never told you this. That could be 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:56.560 another reason why he didn't want you to meet his family. 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.440 Either oh, now, they might tell it that I'm not 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.040 here on it, you know, or unless the family was 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.840 down with the plan from the jump. Come hear meet somebody, 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:06.800 marry them and then you can be with us forever 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:10.399 or whatever the fuck. You know, I'm really frustrated that 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.800 you're going through this shit, So don't mind my cursing, 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.119 and I'm very sorry about that. But check back in 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:20.280 with me. You are way, way, way way to deserving 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.520 of something else, of something more than to be dealing 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:26.679 with this. Check back in with me, girl. If you 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.160 love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:35.080 be right back. That's some bullshit, y'all. Like I really 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.360 don't like that. I don't like that for her at all. 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:41.120 You never know who you're sleeping with. You never know 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:42.400 who you're fucking dealing with. 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:43.160 You never know. 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:47.159 She was in a relationship with this man for eighteen 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:50.879 months and he lied. Now what I want to know 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.760 and she didn't tell me, was when she found out 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.359 was that recently? Was that when she just broke out 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:58.840 with him? Is that what she just broke up with 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.840 him for? Or did she continue to be in a 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.320 relationship with him? Because she said she just can't deal 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.679 with it anymore. That means that she was actually trying 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.920 to deal with it. And you see what we do 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.600 as women. I can't say men do this, because I'm 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:16.240 not a man. I don't know, but I know women 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:20.000 do this. We often. I'm not gonna say it right, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:22.440 I'm just say it the way I'm not to say it, 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:24.720 and then y'all can take it exactly how y'all want 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:29.879