1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:06,680
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.

2
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,280
Speaker 2: I'm welcome to stuff I never told you production if

3
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:22,000
Speaker 2: I heard you, and welcome to another edition of Happy Hour.

4
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,240
Speaker 2: If you're choosing to drink or whatever you're choosing to do,

5
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:29,680
Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. Samantha, what are you sitting on anything?

6
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,559
Speaker 1: Yes, I am working on my old wife's tale. We've

7
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,599
Speaker 1: talked about this before. Sometimes in the mornings, like get

8
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,440
Speaker 1: a little bit like a stomach ache. So I've been

9
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,880
Speaker 1: drinking Gingerrell. Oh yeah, yeah, So I got a ginger

10
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,520
Speaker 1: Rell on my side today because everything's so worse. Anie,

11
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,159
Speaker 1: what about you?

12
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,760
Speaker 2: I I'm drinking a light beer. Funnily enough, I had

13
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,440
Speaker 2: friends over this last weekend for Life Day, the Star

14
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:56,480
Speaker 2: Wars holiday.

15
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:56,960
Speaker 1: Yes.

16
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,480
Speaker 2: Yes, And one of them noted, why do you have

17
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,360
Speaker 2: one single beer already in a kouzie? And I said

18
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 2: it was because we were supposed to do a happy

19
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,240
Speaker 2: happy Hour and then you moved it. But I had

20
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:15,280
Speaker 2: already had the beer right again, it was probably like

21
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,160
Speaker 2: two three weeks. It's been just sitting there really, yeah,

22
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,560
Speaker 2: but so it's already got the kuzie, which if listeners

23
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,240
Speaker 2: to the show you might know. I collect them. I

24
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,160
Speaker 2: think I have over one hundred, so I'm worried. This

25
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 2: one is my rainbow. Oh yeah, LGBTQ plus. But anyway,

26
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:44,520
Speaker 2: this is coming out on Thanksgiving. I was going to

27
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,360
Speaker 2: try to think of something to do for that, but

28
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,080
Speaker 2: I already had an idea, So we're just going to

29
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:49,360
Speaker 2: do that.

30
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

31
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,160
Speaker 2: I hope everyone's having the best time that they can.

32
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,440
Speaker 1: Are you doing a thankful one? Because that is on you?

33
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 2: It's yeah, actually kind of actually yes. So we've had

34
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 2: a lot of episodes recently about the struggles of in

35
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:19,800
Speaker 2: heteronormative relationships of dating commands, and I think we've had

36
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:25,200
Speaker 2: at least four or five in the past week's episodes

37
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 2: about this. And I am a very happily single person,

38
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,280
Speaker 2: but I thought, you know, why don't we come and

39
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,680
Speaker 2: talk about some of the single what I call single

40
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 2: lady problems I have? And some of them, I want

41
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 2: to be clear, these are very specific to me. These

42
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 2: are very stereotypical. But the help, the thankful part is

43
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 2: I have friends and people in my life who are

44
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,440
Speaker 2: able to assist me if I need assistance, if it's

45
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,839
Speaker 2: something I can I not do by myself. I do

46
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 2: have a good friend group, and sometimes their boyfriends who

47
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:12,560
Speaker 2: helped me in these situations. I would say the biggest

48
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,799
Speaker 2: one not to be all dark. I think we all

49
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,520
Speaker 2: talk about this sometimes, but you know, if I die

50
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 2: in my apartment, who knows how long it will be

51
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:30,040
Speaker 2: until someone finds out. I do have my friend, my

52
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,320
Speaker 2: good friend, one of my good friend katies, because I

53
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 2: have a lot of katies in my life. But she

54
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 2: text me probably like multiple times a day, so I

55
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,520
Speaker 2: think we have a rule. If I have not responded

56
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,760
Speaker 2: in two days, that's when she's going to show up.

57
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,240
Speaker 1: Show up.

58
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 2: Yes, But this did kind of come up on my

59
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:55,320
Speaker 2: radar recently because we're not supposed to have dogs in

60
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,600
Speaker 2: our apartment building, and I'm not going to turn in

61
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,360
Speaker 2: the person who shed have a dog in the apartment building.

62
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 2: But it was barking and scratching at the door for

63
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,560
Speaker 2: a long time, and it's a woman who lives in

64
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 2: that apartment, and I just had this thoughts that I

65
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,080
Speaker 2: was like, what if she needs help? What if she like, yeah, exactly,

66
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,240
Speaker 2: And so I almost went over and knocked on the door.

67
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,520
Speaker 2: I was just concerned because as far as I know,

68
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 2: she lives alone. And it was several hours this was

69
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,680
Speaker 2: happening and I was just I was worried about it.

70
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 2: It turns out she wasn't in the apartment and came

71
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,400
Speaker 2: back later. It was totally fine, but okay, I just

72
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,720
Speaker 2: I had a moment of thinking, yeah, yeah, oh no,

73
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,400
Speaker 2: the dog is trying to alert me.

74
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,720
Speaker 1: Right exactly. You see so many stories of that.

75
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:54,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and luckily all in my imagination, everything was fine.

76
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,760
Speaker 2: But I was worried. I was I almost went over there.

77
00:04:59,279 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 1: That's pretty big.

78
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:05,240
Speaker 2: Yeah for me, that's knocking on someone's door no thanks.

79
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 2: So that's probably the biggest one I think in recent

80
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:16,560
Speaker 2: times I've run into and I've talked about this before,

81
00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:22,599
Speaker 2: car troubles and your partner it came and helped out,

82
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:27,760
Speaker 2: and now the car has started everybody. But it was

83
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:33,560
Speaker 2: after my friend Katie and her partner game and they

84
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:37,960
Speaker 2: helped me replace the battery. It was a very I

85
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,800
Speaker 2: know you and I talked about those mansa, but it

86
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,279
Speaker 2: felt kind of very stereotypical of like, we need the

87
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 2: do to help with the car, but I don't know

88
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 2: how to do it. I'm just gonna be upfront with you,

89
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,400
Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it. I do have

90
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,800
Speaker 2: a friend, Marissa, get friend of the show Marissa she

91
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,640
Speaker 2: can do it, and she's done it for me before too,

92
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,400
Speaker 2: but she was going through her own thing, so not

93
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 2: going to bother her. But it was just kind of

94
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,680
Speaker 2: funny how it was benefiting off of having a good

95
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:08,760
Speaker 2: friend with a boyfriend dark partner. And he was great

96
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,760
Speaker 2: and he I couldn't even get the I couldn't even

97
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,679
Speaker 2: get the hood open, and he got it open.

98
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,159
Speaker 1: And it's like, you legitimately made me think that you

99
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,400
Speaker 1: that was a problem that was stuck, and you're like, actually,

100
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 1: I just couldn't open it.

101
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,000
Speaker 2: I think I was afraid I was gonna break it,

102
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,080
Speaker 2: like I was too gentle. I think I was being

103
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,920
Speaker 2: too gentle because I went and by the way, there

104
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 2: was a big party happening outside when I was trying

105
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,240
Speaker 2: to open this hood, and so people could they were

106
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 2: witnessing this, and I went and I looked online and

107
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,160
Speaker 2: it said you could break the latch if you're too

108
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,880
Speaker 2: if you go too hard. So I was just like, oh,

109
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,920
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that because you have to

110
00:06:51,920 --> 00:07:01,400
Speaker 2: go fix that. But he opened it very It was

111
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 2: just such a nice thing. It's so nice to have

112
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,400
Speaker 2: friends that come and help you with these these things.

113
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,919
Speaker 2: But it does make me laugh. How many times I like,

114
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,320
Speaker 2: I do. I like being single, but there are times

115
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,040
Speaker 2: where I'm like, this would be so much easier if

116
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,320
Speaker 2: I had a person, not even necessarily a guy. But

117
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 2: in these cases it was a very stereotypical, right, I

118
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,840
Speaker 2: need a man or someone who because usually it is

119
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,120
Speaker 2: men who know how to do cars. Not always I

120
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 2: certainly do not.

121
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 1: Well, here's the theme. I think, with the power of

122
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,600
Speaker 1: the internet, if you had to, you could, like, obviously,

123
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 1: it's like, and then when you don't have to, it's nice.

124
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,880
Speaker 1: And that's kind of how I felt like many things,

125
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,000
Speaker 1: so many electronical things, like technical things. There are things,

126
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 1: of course I was like over my head, But then

127
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,120
Speaker 1: there are things I'm like, if I took the time

128
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,680
Speaker 1: and I used to, especially when I was single, I'll

129
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 1: be like, I can do this is not a problem.

130
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,600
Speaker 1: I moved my own couch, I built my own couch,

131
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,720
Speaker 1: I built my own desks, I did all those things.

132
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,200
Speaker 1: But now that I do have a part of I'm like, yeah,

133
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 1: but he can do it, like I allow for that,

134
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,320
Speaker 1: you know, but in actuality, we know that we are

135
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,400
Speaker 1: very capable of understanding and googling and going forward. Like

136
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 1: I absolutely know how to jump cables, you know, like

137
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,120
Speaker 1: I know how to jump, but if he's there, I

138
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 1: don't allow to do it. Right.

139
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do think that too, like I could

140
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:33,079
Speaker 2: have figured it out. I'm just honestly very paranoid about

141
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,360
Speaker 2: I've been told I'm overly paranoid about this, but I'm

142
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 2: really paranoid about getting shocked from the battery. Yes, I've

143
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,079
Speaker 2: had some bad experiences.

144
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,080
Speaker 1: You know, you also have some unusual experiences, so I

145
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,360
Speaker 1: would not put it past the fact that it happened

146
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,080
Speaker 1: to you in an unusual way that now you are

147
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 1: very paranoid.

148
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:58,080
Speaker 2: I'm telling you this happened, and they're like, no way.

149
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 2: And then I can prove it and there's shocked.

150
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:08,760
Speaker 1: The probability is like okay, but it is Annie, So yeah, yeah,

151
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 1: but it's I don't know.

152
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:16,160
Speaker 2: I've really been lucky. I say, in this case with

153
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,760
Speaker 2: my friend Katie and her boyfriend who came and helped,

154
00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:26,959
Speaker 2: I was just gonna pay somebody, but she was being

155
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,839
Speaker 2: a very proactive friend. And then there was kind of

156
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:35,280
Speaker 2: a lot of delays, but but she was She's the

157
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,760
Speaker 2: one that called him, was like, you can do this,

158
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,120
Speaker 2: let's go do this. Who knows how he feels about it.

159
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:45,400
Speaker 2: Hopefully fine, but it's it's nice to have friends who

160
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 2: are are looking out for you in that way. Another.

161
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 2: I don't run into this much anymore, but I used to,

162
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,680
Speaker 2: especially when we were getting oh well mostly me was

163
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,640
Speaker 2: getting mattresses.

164
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,400
Speaker 1: I missed that mark one.

165
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,640
Speaker 2: Do you know how difficult it is to go up

166
00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:08,199
Speaker 2: my stairs which like twist and turn listeners? It is

167
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:16,720
Speaker 2: very narrow with a heavy, bulky mattress. And I was,

168
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,600
Speaker 2: I remember I was one time I got a mattress

169
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,079
Speaker 2: delivered and I was in a dress and I was

170
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,559
Speaker 2: like pushing back against the wall and using my legs

171
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:32,720
Speaker 2: to push it up the stairs. And I thought, you know,

172
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 2: this is this is a single lady's Olympics right here.

173
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:40,240
Speaker 2: This is I got it up there.

174
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,960
Speaker 1: I know you did. Proud of you.

175
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks, Yeah.

176
00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:47,840
Speaker 1: I've got a question for you. Are you still sleeping

177
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,160
Speaker 1: on three or four mattresses?

178
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:56,679
Speaker 2: That's two? It's two mattresses now, so yes, which I

179
00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 2: actually okay, first of all, want to acknowledg these are

180
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 2: very privileged single lady problems. But I actually think the

181
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,040
Speaker 2: two mattresses is good because the bed I have, which

182
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,559
Speaker 2: is a cheap bed from Ikea. Again, not a sponsor

183
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 2: is very low and so having the one mattress, it's

184
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 2: almost like a functions It's a box spring, but it

185
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:22,079
Speaker 2: builds it okay, so it doesn't feel like I'm having

186
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,720
Speaker 2: to crouch down to get into bed. It gives me

187
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 2: a better height than I'm just the one. I was

188
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:49,040
Speaker 2: recently confronted with the memory of I'm just in a

189
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,960
Speaker 2: lot of ways I miss I'm an oblivious soul. I

190
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 2: try not to be, but sometimes I am. And my

191
00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:02,040
Speaker 2: ex before we started dating, he would day over a lot,

192
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,280
Speaker 2: but he'd sleep on my couch and my couch. He

193
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:09,760
Speaker 2: was a tall guy and he would just be scrunched

194
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,920
Speaker 2: up on this thing. So I bought another couch that

195
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 2: was wider and you could it was kind of a

196
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 2: foot on sittory, like you could lay it out into

197
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,320
Speaker 2: a bed, and he helped me set it up. And

198
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 2: even still I didn't realize that to him, this was

199
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:36,040
Speaker 2: like not the sign he wanted. But I still have

200
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:40,199
Speaker 2: that couch. There you go, you know, but he helped

201
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,199
Speaker 2: me set it up. I think, like, again, I can

202
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,840
Speaker 2: do these things by myself. I do enjoy being single,

203
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:54,199
Speaker 2: but it is nice in many occasions to have someone

204
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,240
Speaker 2: that will help you, and that person can be a friend.

205
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,320
Speaker 2: That's the thing. It's like, it doesn't have to be

206
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:03,559
Speaker 2: a right, But I do appreciate if you have someone

207
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,680
Speaker 2: that's kind of living with you or there all the time,

208
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 2: and you have that kind of understood I'll help you

209
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,719
Speaker 2: here and you help me here or whatever.

210
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I will say I think it goes

211
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,880
Speaker 1: both ways in that the emotional toll, especially if you're

212
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,320
Speaker 1: in a toxic relationship, the emotional toll, the financial toll,

213
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,040
Speaker 1: all of those things are not worth having someone who

214
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:31,640
Speaker 1: can maybe put together addresser for you, because also that

215
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,839
Speaker 1: comes into the conversation of like it takes six weeks

216
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,120
Speaker 1: to convince them to do any of that. And finally,

217
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,559
Speaker 1: and oftentimes you have women who forget I'm gonna do

218
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,880
Speaker 1: myself because they're tired of waiting. But also me who

219
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,400
Speaker 1: I feel like again, I've talked about the fact that

220
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,600
Speaker 1: I am very independent and it feels odd to be

221
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 1: in a relationship as stable as I am that as

222
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 1: in a partnership. But I've allowed for the fact that

223
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,800
Speaker 1: every when I see bugs, and if they're big and

224
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,880
Speaker 1: they're scary, I will let him kill it, I'll just

225
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,040
Speaker 1: scream and let him do it, like I have allow

226
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,600
Speaker 1: for that trope to be a thing and present. Can

227
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,240
Speaker 1: I kill it on my own and have I? Yes?

228
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 1: Do I excessively kill it when it's me? Yes, Like

229
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,320
Speaker 1: it gets squashed fifteen times and then spray it again,

230
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,719
Speaker 1: and then spray it again and then flushed down the

231
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,320
Speaker 1: toilet to make sure it has died and been like

232
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,920
Speaker 1: decimated into a pulp. So you know, my over dramatic

233
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 1: killings I can do on my own, but it is

234
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,680
Speaker 1: nice to have someone else handle it. Yeah, I can

235
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,560
Speaker 1: be I can be that stereotypical role of like and

236
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,120
Speaker 1: run away.

237
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

238
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:39,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's also that's a good point because I uh,

239
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 3: when my my dad left, I.

240
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,560
Speaker 2: Became like the most the biggest crusader for we do

241
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,960
Speaker 2: not need him. We can do everything without him. And

242
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 2: it kind of annoyed me even as a kid, like

243
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 2: my mom would cook everything, but he would get the

244
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 2: credit for like he would carve this turkey and so

245
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,440
Speaker 2: it was like he did it, or he could only

246
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,080
Speaker 2: cook steak, but she could cook steak, but he wanted

247
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 2: all this like attention for it. So I think some

248
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:15,760
Speaker 2: of that has stated my soul and you know, if

249
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:21,320
Speaker 2: you find a good relationship and one that is not toxic,

250
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 2: then I think you should have that space for it. Yeah,

251
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,640
Speaker 2: you're the one that cooks the steak, and you know

252
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 2: you have those things. Stereotypical though they may be sometimes,

253
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:37,200
Speaker 2: but you have those things. But I do think also

254
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,920
Speaker 2: kind of going back to our recent Oh no, it

255
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 2: hasn't come out yet, we're doing a lot of stuff.

256
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:47,640
Speaker 2: We're getting different holidays, but the upcoming episode as this

257
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 2: comes out on moms have just had it right now

258
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 2: of you know, having some a partner that does respect

259
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,080
Speaker 2: and you don't have to ask a million times, you

260
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 2: don't have to push the to do all of those things.

261
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 2: And in that we do talk about kind of how

262
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,160
Speaker 2: the friends become the true the people who come through

263
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 2: for you without asking and who are like what can

264
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,720
Speaker 2: I do? I will do it? How can I help you?

265
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 2: And that's been hard for me. I think I've gotten

266
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 2: a lot better, but asking for help can be hard

267
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 2: for me. And so I know you've said, like I

268
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 2: just have to tell you I'm coming over and this

269
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 2: is what we're doing.

270
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it's un to the point that you will

271
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 1: tell me the disaster story that you have tried to

272
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,680
Speaker 1: do to for yourself and or have avoided for a

273
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: very long time. And so I get finally just like,

274
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 1: well we're doing this, Like that's what you don't ask

275
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 1: for help? Actually, any what you do is relay the tragic,

276
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 1: more more entertaining stories of like what you did to

277
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: avoid and or try to fix it. And then I'm like,

278
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 1: we're not letting you do that.

279
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

280
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we haven't gotten the encouraged like you've actually

281
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,840
Speaker 1: asked him for help, but you are at least telling

282
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 1: us the truth.

283
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, progress, little little progress.

284
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,159
Speaker 1: I think the part of that is, like we have

285
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 1: repeatedly talked about and we're talking about soon, about the

286
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 1: fact that, yeah, this is also where a relationship, when

287
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:33,560
Speaker 1: it's an actual partnership, that is a great thing to see.

288
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 1: That makes relationships look enticing. And what we have noted

289
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,360
Speaker 1: as of late is is no longer partnerships is very

290
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 1: one sided. And that's why it becomes I'm better single

291
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 1: because the level, this percentage of equal partnerships have decreased

292
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 1: so significantly that it's sad and like again as you

293
00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:01,160
Speaker 1: were talking about before with your dad, but like interesting

294
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,440
Speaker 1: to see about how the statistics and we've talked about

295
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 1: this before, which actually I think we talked about in

296
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 1: the divorce episode, in which women who get sick terminal

297
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 1: illnesses or whatever, they're more likely to be left, Like

298
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 1: the percentage of men who leave or have like affairs

299
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,439
Speaker 1: or any of the such are so significantly higher as

300
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,400
Speaker 1: where when men get sick, women stick around and help

301
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 1: them as they would and take care of them to

302
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 1: the utmost. And like when we see stuff like that,

303
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,919
Speaker 1: this is what we're talking about, Like, this is what

304
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 1: we see in partnerships and why it's better to be single. Actually,

305
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: I was having this conversation with a friend of mine

306
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,399
Speaker 1: yesterday because we were talking about whether we were in

307
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,959
Speaker 1: healthy relationships and partnerships. Because once you start reading all

308
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,920
Speaker 1: these things and you start weighing in on like, well,

309
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: these are the things that I see in mind, Oh,

310
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 1: could this be a problem or is it not a problem,

311
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 1: But like the fact is like one of the biggest

312
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 1: signs for us who are wary of men. So that

313
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 1: kind of those kind of articles which we just talked about.

314
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 1: Recently just released those episodes, like is it embarrassing to

315
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend to say you have a boyfriend, and

316
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 1: what we see in so many of those things, like

317
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: we who are weary and think that maybe could be true.

318
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 1: Also note that we have good friends, and so we

319
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 1: know that our single life would be fine because we

320
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 1: have good friends. But one of the tell tell marks

321
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 1: is our friendship something that bothers our partners or can

322
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: they be a part of that? And I am very

323
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 1: glad to say that my partner's wonderful and understands how

324
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: important my friends are and that he would more likely

325
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 1: tell me he's going to come do this for you.

326
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 1: Tell Annie to stop doing this.

327
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 2: Good Kafer to wash my car.

328
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 1: He does this often and he's like, let me just

329
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: any like this is exactly how it goes, Annie, I

330
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: won't you just do let me do that. I'm doing

331
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,639
Speaker 1: this thing on this thing and these types of like

332
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 1: it's quite funny to know where he will be like

333
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: no it, stop it and then ask me, any what's

334
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 1: what's any doing with her car? Do I need to do?

335
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 1: I need to check in on her? It's everything okay?

336
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh he guys all about I was like, I

337
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 2: don't want to ruin your because it was a holiday

338
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 2: when this happened. He was like no, I'll take it

339
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 2: and get a wash and do this.

340
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 1: Let me just do it, just move. But also he's like,

341
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 1: I need you to be okay, you're gonna need to

342
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: do these following things.

343
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, which I appreciate and which I appreciate, and we're good,

344
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 2: we're good friends.

345
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 1: And yeah, like that's like partnership to me and not

346
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 1: that again, I'm not very necessarily, but that is that

347
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,479
Speaker 1: conversation is can and that be what we're looking at

348
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 1: when we talk about that. And also like yeah, for me,

349
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 1: when I was single, hell yeah, I had a ton

350
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: of guy friends and I'm like, I need you to

351
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,439
Speaker 1: do this. I need you to come change my tires.

352
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you, Like I really did that. I

353
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: had two of my guy friends who would constantly help

354
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: me move because I couldn't quite afford movers, and even

355
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 1: my brother, my father did it a few times. Like

356
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, And again that's the kind

357
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 1: of privilege statement and that I was able to have

358
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 1: for it like that. But single life is understanding. We

359
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 1: have to ask for help and nobody can do any

360
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 1: of these things on their own as well, but like

361
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: it's manageable.

362
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, and again the distinction between the healthy relationship

363
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 2: and the non healthy one, because, as we have discussed,

364
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 2: if you're in the non healthy one, then you're taking

365
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 2: care of and the heteronormed of sense him too, probably

366
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 2: and his family. But if you'd have that kind of

367
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 2: healthy relationship, then it's it's nice. And yes, I mean

368
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 2: I have figured out a lot of traditionally masculine things

369
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 2: on my own. I can do them, I know I can.

370
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 2: But sometimes, yeah, this would be nice to have someone

371
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 2: else here.

372
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: That's why we're gonna look into a commune.

373
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm all about it. I Uh, I would never do this,

374
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 2: but I know, I know how you feel about this.

375
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 2: My well, my ex messaged me recently and he got married.

376
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 2: Good for you. Oh and I saw another ex recently

377
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 2: what is going on? And he was gotta you know,

378
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: I got married and all of it. And I was like, oh, congrats,

379
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 2: you know, good for you. Uh, but I had this

380
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,479
Speaker 2: part of me that he was like, what the are

381
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 2: you up to? And I was like, listen to our

382
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 2: recent episode about how having a boyfriend, I would never

383
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 2: do it. I would never do it. This kind of

384
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: made me laugh.

385
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, same, all Yeah, happier without you. Thanks for asking,

386
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: and I.

387
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 2: Think you're happier without me. We weren't meant for each other.

388
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 1: He was reaching out, so that makes me wonder.

389
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I just assumed that it might be a

390
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: i'm married.

391
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: Now, why would Why does he need to tell you?

392
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: Because that's the point of that.

393
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:47,719
Speaker 2: I don't know.

394
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, why you're oblivious?

395
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 2: I guess I thought it was maybe kind of a

396
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 2: i'm good without you.

397
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: If you're actually good without you, don't really have to

398
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: say I'm good with how you maybe out loud, you

399
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: don't have to flaunt anything.

400
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 2: I don't know, You're right, what do I know.

401
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, sound like the case in this situation,

402
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: there's no need to reach it because I bet you

403
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: if she found out but he sent a message to you,

404
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: she would be unhappy and have some thoughts. I'm just saying.

405
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: And that is a marker in itself.

406
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, all I said was congrats, I'm doing fine.

407
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 2: That's it. Relationship. You got to navigate all these things

408
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 2: past present. Well, I that's just some of the thoughts

409
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: I have I've been having about this. But I do

410
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: think it's interesting that we're having more conversations about all

411
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 2: these different ways relationships can look like and how people

412
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: feel about them. Oh, also I heard like that. I

413
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: always hear these huge arguments outside my apartment between couples,

414
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: and I heard another one last night and I just

415
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 2: kept thinking, girl, breakup with this girl.

416
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: No, that's when you want to scream through the like.

417
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 2: I just went downstairs. I was like, listen here, dump them.

418
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: I don't know either of you, but I'm gonna insert

419
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: myself and say.

420
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: Involving the whole apartment, you are.

421
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: Two hours they were arguing too, Dear. Anyway, I hope

422
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: all of you listeners are doing well relationships. Yes, so

423
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: you're not cooking on your own, yes, which me and

424
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 2: my mom do. And this is one of my biggest

425
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 2: pet peeves is this new guy comes in and tries

426
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: to cut the turkey and I told him no last

427
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 2: year because I said, this is not I don't want

428
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: you in here, and in fact, you will wait until

429
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 2: we tell you food is ready, or you'll eat a snack.

430
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 2: But we are the ones that did this, so goodbye.

431
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: Don't touch a thing.

432
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: Do you think I'm not hungry.

433
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 1: Anyway?

434
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 2: Yes, I hope every everyone has as good of a

435
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 2: holidays or whatever you're doing as possible, and that you

436
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: do have happy, healthy relationships and that you have good friends.

437
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 2: That is what I'm thankful for, supportive good friends. If

438
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: you would like to contact us, we would love to

439
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 2: hear from you. You can email us at Hello Stuffmennever

440
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 2: Told You dot com com, find us on blue Sky

441
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: at momstaff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok and stuff

442
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 2: when Never Told You. We're also on YouTube. We have

443
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 2: some new merchandise dot com bureau, and we have a

444
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: book you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks

445
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: is always too. Our superducer Christine, are executy Pruce My

446
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 2: and a contributor Joey. Thank you and they see you

447
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: for listening. Stuff One Never Told You is prediction of my

448
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: heart Radio. For more podcasts my heart Radio, you can

449
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: check out the heart Radio app Apple podcast where readular

450
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 2: listen to your favorite shows