WEBVTT - The 5 Second Rule with Mel Robbins 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:05.600 Wind down with Jane and Michael Colin and her radio 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:13.880 podcast Hi Friends, Hi, um so in studio today, um 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:19.880 continuing on the Mom January, I've got Kristen Breast again, 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.960 who is on last week's podcast, so much fun last week. 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.240 And then we've got Leslie another one of my mom uh, 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:31.280 one of my mom besties, Mrs Leslie Crabtree the studio. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:37.440 What's going on in everyone's life? Um, mom life. Love 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:40.720 is back in school, so that's full tricky. She just 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:45.040 turned four. She turned four on Sunday. Four was really hard. 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:47.640 What made it hard because Jolly is about to turn four, 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.400 so I need the prep. I'll probably cry. It just 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:53.479 seems big. It's like the last of the baby days. Look, 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:56.560 and I get choked up. Who is a big age? 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.600 I mean, I know, listen hashtag bless. She's healthy, she's great. 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.080 It's just it just seems so big. And she's so 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.840 like well spoken, and she just looks like a little 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.840 person now not so baby, you know, but she's a 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:12.600 little human. Yeah. So she turned four on January five, 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:14.440 and then she woke up January six and she was 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.280 like guess what, And I go what And she's like, 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.440 I'm five today. I was like, it doesn't quite work 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.680 like that, but bless your heart, well, Leslie, I mean, 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:26.200 how old are your kids? Oh god, I've got one 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.959 getting ready to turn sixteen, So talk about big. I 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.319 don't care how old I get. I'm slashing the tires 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:34.920 for you with please so that I can say that 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:37.360 I didn't do it. Yeah, and you can say that 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:41.280 with an honest heart because it was me. It's tough, 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.040 it's really, that's big. I don't care how old I get, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:46.240 but my kids I still to this day can't see 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:49.960 them happy birthday without crying. And I get choked up 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:51.360 when I see them happy because you were there on 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:55.360 the O G birthday. That's right. So sixteen, so sixteen 0:01:55.400 --> 0:02:00.440 and in thirteen, but sixteen is just that's rough. Hard, 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.520 it's rough, you know. When someone said to me it's 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:06.120 the beginning of letting go, I was like, oh, stop, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.600 like stop, They're like, he's going to turn sixteen and 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.120 then in two years he's going to be in college. 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:13.480 I'm like, do you really want me to completely have 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:16.840 a breakdown? Because they like you? Yeah? Right, whosi do 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:20.680 you want here? Yeah? Say your friends and the beginning 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:22.959 of letting go happen when I when they cut the 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.680 cord for me, it really was a hard moment. I 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.040 was like, Okay, you're not inside me anymore. It's gonna 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:30.560 get rough from here on out. Well, it's true, I 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.720 feel like it's just sixteen age though, well, I feel 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.680 like every single age or I don't know if I'm 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.720 gonna yes, I'm going to be super sad at four, 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.160 but at the same time, I love who Joel is 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.240 coming into. I feel like I'm gonna have a hard 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:46.639 time around the twelve. Are you do a bad twelve 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:48.959 thirteen year old? Well, that's what my parents got divorced. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:53.919 Mm hmmm, So the flood of emotion. Yeah, Well twelve 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.320 thirteen with girls is also like puberty. Well, I didn't 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:01.079 start my period until I was like fifteen, sixteen, sixteen 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:08.119 and a half stick together twelve twelve, well my sixth 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.040 grade year. So how are you in sixth grade year twelve? Right? Yeah? Yeah, 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.640 And I feel like a lot, like I know a 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:15.920 lot of kids are starting pot or younger too, because 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:17.639 I think it's a lot of stuff. Obviously, I think 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.480 it's the foods and everything that we're eating, the hormones 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:22.799 that we don't disagree. Yes, but I mean I haven't 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:24.240 done the research, so I don't know. That's just my 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:29.720 own naive thinking. People pick up on hates milk. I 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:32.919 don't know, because my sixteen year old was a late bloomer, 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:37.720 but my now thirteen year old not. So I don't 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.360 and I don't know. Was the thirteen year old influenced 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.200 by the sixteen year old? Does that have any role 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:45.240 in how quickly they developed? That he has an older 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:47.680 brother and so maybe it moved him along because you 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.000 know how if you're with your friends for an extended 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.080 period of time, you can end up with your girlfriends. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:53.920 You end up on the same cycle. Yeah, Jan and 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:55.800 I know because we have to talk each other off 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:59.320 the ledge about every third week. So does that play 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.360 a role? And why the thirteen year old is developing faster? 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:03.640 I don't know. I think so. I think it's a 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.680 second kid things because Jason, I mean, he's he walked 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.800 away faster than Jolie. He's already he already said his 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.640 first word, weighed faster than Jolie. He because he's watching her. 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:15.160 He's you know, just like and they want in on 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:17.120 the action. Yeah, they want to play. I mean it 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:20.280 is legend, legends like put me in coach. Yeah, he's 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:23.360 like on a kitchen table. What are you doing? Bro right? 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.400 I mean just words, all the words sixteen though. I 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.599 think it's gonna be hard because you're watching them drive. 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:33.240 I can't you, guys, I'm emotional today. I don't know. 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.920 I think it's just they seem big already. Is that it? Yeah? 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:40.200 And if I put her in a what else is 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:44.320 going on? Uh? Well, my husband's been on the USO tour, 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.520 so that's not helpful either. But he comes home today. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:51.320 So it's been an emotional like I've had this empathetic 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:54.599 like how do soldier wives do this kind of week two? 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:58.039 Where I just don't know how because that so dangerous 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:02.799 and right now it's especially dangerous. Yeah, and he's like protected, 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.359 but he's also not trained. I hate to say it, 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:10.080 you know, like he's red neck trained. They handed out 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.960 rifles and there was a terrace with antlers on his head. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.160 We could probably take them down fast, but I don't 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.680 know if he would make it otherwise. Anyways, No, I 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:20.640 do think like the thought of like her getting in 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.880 a car and going away, you know, it's so hard 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.360 to It's just hard to let go anyways, Well, then 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:26.880 you have to trust the other that's the thing, to 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.360 trust other drivers. Anyone else saying anything else, because it's 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.760 like that's where I'm like, just right here, staying my 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:36.000 little my, my little section of safety. I've been pretty 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:38.839 honest about the fact that I think legends never moving out, 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:42.520 and that I hate his wife and he's seventeen months. 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.840 So yeah, it's gonna be hard to let go. Have 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:49.000 any of the boys had girls yet, Like, what about girlfriends? 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.360 You have boys only I have two boys. Yeah, so 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:54.880 you're gonna have two women possibly unless one of them 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.240 end up. You know, I don't. I think we're safe there. 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.400 I think we're not. That not being safe is not 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:03.840 because we got to be real political, that's true. I 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:07.640 think that we know which which gender my children prefer. 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:12.279 But either way, you would be supportive. Absolutely absolutely. Yeah. 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.560 Now as far as girlfriends, again, I told you my 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:16.840 sixteen year old is a late bloomer. The thirteen year 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.200 old so quick, funny story. We were in the car 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:21.440 the other day and I was asking the thirteen year 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:22.960 old on the way home from school. I said, so, 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.159 you know, buddy, anyone at school that you think is 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:28.080 cute because like, I need fair, fair heads up right, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.000 because I like you, Kristen. I'm gonna hate whoever he did. 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:33.400 I don't even know your boys, and I hate these 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:35.960 girls that are with your boys. And if they if 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:39.359 they break this heart, careful, it's real hard for me 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.080 not to get involved in their lives. So we're on 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.000 the way home. Anyone cute, right, because I need four 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.560 warning and he's my kid that will tell me anything. 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:48.800 And he goes, no, not so much. And I said, 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:51.400 are you sure it was really nobody, because it's the 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:53.640 same girls as last year and last year there were 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.640 some girls that you thought were cute. He's like, oh, 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:59.320 they're just friends now. I said, okay, so really nobody 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:01.960 goes no, but I'm sure they're girls who have a 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:06.800 crush on me, all right. He goes, well, last year 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:12.520 there was like ten true wait, so tell me okay, wait, wait, 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.920 time out though, Sorry, that's hilarious. And Drew bees adorable 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:18.960 and he knows it, and he knows it. That's the problem. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.120 I looked him, I said, Drew. He goes think I 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.320 married the adult version of Drew. He goes, well, you asked, 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.640 He goes well, you asked me, Mom, and I told you. 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:27.120 He was like, did you want me to lie? I 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.280 was like, no, but I'm glad to see you're not 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:33.320 short on confidence. Yeah, which is great. But here's here's 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.120 the flip side to that conversation. Let me just play 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.840 Devil's advocate. Oh boy, No, I'm just saying because you 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:40.440 guys say that you're going to hate the women, and 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.680 I have also said that. But here's the flip side 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:48.520 of that. What if the women are just like you, strong, confident, loving, caring, 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.800 why would you then hate them because they're going to 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:57.120 be good for your son? Hater? Then yeah, I come 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.680 at it from a little different angle. I would be 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:03.440 I would be happy for them, you know. I want 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.560 someone strong and and don't they say that you end 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.640 up marrying someone like your mom or someone like your dad. 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.160 So I would want them to be strong. But at 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.160 the same time, I'll still hate her a little bit, 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:19.360 you know, because because you again, I'm the o G right. Yeah, 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.040 so now there's someone who who's coming into his life 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.760 and is going to take him away from me. But 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:27.120 at the same time I know that that's the way 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.280 it's supposed to be. Rip them out of my hand. 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.319 I mean she'd probably cut the umbilical cord and I 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:37.200 just didn't know it. But you know, I mean, I 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.800 want him in my life, so I'll have to cut 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.880 it out. It's hard. I think I have this theory 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:46.600 that boy moms are harder to work your way in 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:50.360 with that if they have one of each, Like I 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.400 don't fear for Jason's wife as much as I would 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:57.760 fear well, but at least we'll have each other so 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:59.240 I can talk you off the ledge and you can 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.440 talk me after it. To your point, With just boy moms, 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:05.080 I feel like, I mean, that is two women taking 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:09.040 your sons away, and you've always thinking I'm sorry. I mean, 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.600 I know we all feel like, but it's also like 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:13.800 you've always been the only woman, Like you're the queen 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.680 of the household, the only female. I don't I wonder 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.240 how it's probably not gonna go. Well, have you had? 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:21.840 I wanted to ask about the sex talk, but let 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.920 me know if we needed what sex talk? Like has 0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:29.200 she had? They when you? Because I'm like, I feel 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:31.040 like it's happening early. You want to talk to a 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.840 four year old? No, No, but I know it's like 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.679 happening early and earlier for people and that kind of 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:39.400 stresses me out. Like my neighbors have a ten year 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:41.480 old little boy and they had to like kind of 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:48.719 have a like a topical conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.000 absolutely we've had the conversation. Listen, I've had to have 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:58.320 I no, I've had to have conversations with my when 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.679 my fifteen year old soon to be sixteen year old 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.720 was thirteen that were not anything that I really wanted 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:09.360 to have, like about No, I don't know. I love 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:12.240 that it's under the breath. I don't know. I'll talk 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.840 to him about that, about about rape and like him 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:21.120 being raped. Oh there's there where there were headlines here, 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:26.080 yeah at a school. Um, I don't I don't know. 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:28.720 If it was alleged, I'll let's just say that alleged 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.880 that some stuff went down in the locker room, in 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:34.400 the boys locker room. And so I felt like, you know, 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:36.160 it was all over the place. The kids were talking 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:37.480 about it. So I felt like I had to sit 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:40.280 my kid down and say, listen, this is what happened. 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:44.200 It's not okay, but this this could happen to you too. 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.960 It's not just a girl thing. It could happen to 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.280 you too. And talk about uncomfortable conversation, and then we 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:53.040 had to have a conversation about oral sex, also very uncomfortable. 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:58.440 I need like like that. Look, I loved what I 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:05.320 was Wait are you eight grade? How are you asking question? Okay, 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:08.040 that's what I learned about an eighth grade A jill? 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:10.800 Where are you now? From your little status report? Little 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:13.880 check out? And I was like, what the good? I 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.559 like that actually as opposed to Jerry being over there, 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:22.640 that's like, can't talk right now about the hell when 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:25.440 like when do kids know about I guess I know 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:29.199 oral sex? When do they know about now? I don't know. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:31.000 I don't know, I don't want to know. I'm getting 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:35.599 sweaty and I know about that. I just explain to 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.120 him what it was, and I said, let me tell 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.240 you something right now. It's a very intimate act. So 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.520 you better make sure that you really like the girl 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:46.480 who's but what about it was servicing you? That? Just 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.960 you know, it's it's like the same song pretty Woman 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.800 just went through my head. It's just what about sex though? 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.000 What about sex? Like? What about that conversation the birds 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:00.400 and the bees? I made Chris have that conversation? Enough? 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:02.600 Throw something over to the other side. I did. I 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.240 was like, in the car now with your kid, we're 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.640 going to the lake. We're driving separate cars, um taking 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:09.400 meaking drough you're taking Sean, and you're gonna have the conversation. 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:11.000 And if you haven't by the time we get to 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:12.719 the lake, I'm shoving you in a room and you're 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.000 having it until you know you're not coming out a conversation. 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:17.600 I wonder what like a dad would say, like just 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.600 use a condom, like what they say. I don't I 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.040 don't know what he said. I don't want to know. 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:26.200 I just when he came in, he just kind of 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:27.640 gave me the he walked to the door and gave 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:29.320 me the little nod. I was like, Okay, we're done. 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:34.280 Good and conversation and I had to have the other 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.440 awkward conversation with the papers rocks for that next time 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.120 and maybe get yourself out of the how would you 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:43.920 say it to ledge or love? Don't like this question? 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:49.120 So many years, I don't know, it's just probably going 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:51.559 to have to even come sooner for our kids. Well, 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.079 so here's what's probably gonna happen. First on I'll never 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.360 forget this. On Mother's Day when My oldest was like six. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.320 He comes and he goes, Mommy, how did babies get 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.760 in your belly? I'm like, oh my god, this mother's 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:03.600 dame and you're six? Do we really have to talk 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.600 about this? And I remember I looked and I was like, 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.200 do you really want to know? He was like yeah. 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:10.720 I was like, are you sure you want to know? 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:12.400 Like I'm just trying to get out of it, he 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.679 was like, yeah, I really want to know. Like I 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:17.120 default and toss it up, I'm like, God, put him there? 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:18.880 What do you want for lunch? I would say, like 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.360 when mommy and daddy, when a mommy and a daddy 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.440 love each other, or like when a husband and wife 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.880 love each other. A baby appears. I don't even go there. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:35.240 Would you say? I just said cows whales? It's like, yeah, 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:37.160 he's at school and they're like, do you know how 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.280 babies are? Maybe He's like, yeah, cows and whales. Put 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.320 him there, gets all turned around. It's like they just 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.839 they get in there, and they get in there is 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:48.600 one way of putting it, and they all have to 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:52.800 come out through this same tunnel. Man. Well, I'm I 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.240 hope you guys all enjoyed the first fifteen minutes of 0:13:56.200 --> 0:14:00.640 sway educational. We're gonna take a quick ache, and then 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:07.880 I got some excitingness. Casper is a sleep brand that 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.760 makes expertly designed products to help you get your best 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.600 rest one night at a time. 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So 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.760 we have a Casper bed for Jolie and no joke. 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.760 The amount of times that Mike ends up falling asleep 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:03.760 on Jolie's Asper mattress is about um almost every other night, 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.120 and he comes down, he's like that is the most 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.400 comfortable mattress. Ever, so it looks like we're about to 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:13.280 get another Casper mattress for our house. All design, developed 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.560 and assembled in the US, and affordable prices because Casper 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:19.760 cuts up the middleman and sells directly to you and 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:21.960 they are delivered right to your door in a small 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.160 how do they do that size box? Free shipping and 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.480 returns in the US and Canada. Get a hundred dollars 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.680 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper dot com, slash wine 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:37.440 and using wine at checkout. Terms and conditions obviously apply. Again, 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:41.040 get a hundred dollars towards select mattresses by visiting Casper 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:45.120 dot com, slash wine and using wine at checkout. Terms 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:51.720 and conditions apply. Okay, So I'm really excited because today's 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:56.080 episode we have Mel Robbins on the podcast. Today. She's 0:15:56.120 --> 0:16:02.040 a motivational speaker, which I just I love motivational speakers. 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:05.240 I'm a big fan of like Rachel Hollis Um. But 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.920 Mel Robbins is actually one of the biggest all time 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.240 motivational speakers. And how she's been able to basically go 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:16.200 from nothing to you know, selling out big arenas and 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:18.240 she has that five second rule, which I'm really excited 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.080 to talk about, but I think a lot of it 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.880 is just that motivating. And I'm curious, like, for you girls, 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:27.680 what is one thing for you that like you want 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.080 to get motivated about? Like what is holding you back? 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.440 What's making you feel stuck? Is it their relationship is 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:36.560 at work? Is if your own thing? Like, what what 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.880 is it for you that just because I mean I 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.360 have I'll just say I'll start like when I'm in bed, 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:45.280 it's I have things that I want to do, but 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.280 I don't know how to like get there, and then 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.560 I doubt myself. I'm like, well, I can never happen. 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.240 I can't do that, or very similar so and then 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.640 I just sit in bed and then I then go 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.720 on Instagram and then obviously I've talked about this before, 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:58.600 but I'm just like, oh, let's see they're doing it, 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.560 and they're doing it, which is funny. Like from my 0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:03.160 point of view, I feel like you're one of the 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:07.280 most motivated humans right now. Like you're a hustler. You 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.919 and my husband have the same business manager. Whenever I 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.840 talked to our business manager, he's always like refers to you. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.119 He's just like she's hustler. Jana's hustler. And I do 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.800 feel like I doubt myself, so I would like to 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.119 hustle without the doubt. There's my thing, doubtless hustle, A 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:25.680 doubtless hustle. What about you lost? I think I need 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:27.880 to I want I'm stuck in figuring out what's next 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:30.040 for me. You know, as my kids get older and 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:33.000 require less of me and less day to day, and 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:34.960 pretty soon I'm gonna have a driver, so that means 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.040 I'm not even a taxi much anymore. You're not an uber. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:42.040 So now I'm like, what what do I do next? 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:43.679 And with you know, with all that I've been through 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.680 in the last year, I want to do something with 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:50.639 that um and figure out But and like you, I'm like, Okay, 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.479 I see you on Instagram, all these people doing what 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:54.960 I want to do, and I'm like, but how do 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.119 I get there? Because well, she was a she was 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.280 a TV reporter before she did that, so she's got 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:01.640 connection is that I don't have, you know, so I've 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:05.560 and so then I do nothing. M hm, So I don't. 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.399 I don't. I don't know. I think fear it really 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:14.159 is just what makes me just kind of paralyzes me. 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:18.520 I'm like, well, I don't doubt that I could do 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:21.080 something someone else is already doing and do it differently 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:23.720 because I just really feel like we're a pretty christ 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.920 centered household. So for me, I'm just like, God, there's 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:29.880 a path and that's what you do, and anything that's 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:31.440 meant for you will always find you. That's kind of 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.040 like our go to slogan in our house, like what's 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:35.600 meant for you always find you? So but it is 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:40.439 I just have this I sometimes this is one thing 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:42.800 I actually one of the questions I wanted to ask Miles, 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:46.640 like how do you not let what other people say? 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:48.840 Because you can be as tough as you want to be, 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.320 But and you know, like Bernie will say, like the 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.040 famous quote when you're in the arena and you play 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:56.320 in the arena, and and I get all of that, 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.120 and like I get really hyped up, but then there's 0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:01.760 like one really hard comment and that I just I'm 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:03.640 not made. I don't think to be in the spotlight. 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.720 So that's what's always kind of kept me from doing 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.240 what I've always wanted to do because I can't take 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.160 like I could never do what Janna does. Ever, Yeah, 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:14.040 I agree with that. I just don't know how because 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.960 you're still human, right, and no matter how ridiculous the comment, 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:19.600 it would be hard for me to get past it. 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:23.640 And that would for me, it would be very unmotivating. 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:25.280 It would take all the wind out of my sales, 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:27.639 and I don't know that I would recover, probably just 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.919 bag it in. And I think because I know there 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:34.240 is a lot of stuff out there right now, you know, 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:40.439 I think, Um, I would say this. It's hard because 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:46.320 I've put myself in that situation too, have criticism, but 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:50.440 also too because we have been so open, like for example, 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:54.560 when I had mentioned the rule um last episode that 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.159 got slaughtered in the media because you know, it's like, 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:01.439 so you're saying someone can lie, and but I wasn't 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:04.159 you know what I was even saying. And that is 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:09.200 when someone has a character defect of lying all the time, 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:17.320 sometimes they just need a space to be like, oh crap, 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:18.399 that was a lot. I need to go back and 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:19.960 fix it so that they're not scared and they don't 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:21.720 hold on to and they don't justify. So that is 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:23.600 just something that works for us. But anything that I 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:26.119 ever say or do, it just it just becomes But 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:28.640 I've also put that out there to be criticized, right, 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:30.959 So that's something that I have to But I do 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.800 think on the scale of what you guys have put 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:36.640 out and how much you've helped, Like, I think you're 0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:39.719 you're helping people. I mean, there was I know you 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:42.119 and Mike well, I mean we've done a lot of 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:45.000 life together, all of us, and I still listen to 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:48.000 some of those episodes and I like get choked up, 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:50.919