Speaker 1: Welcome to Go ask Ali, a production of Shonda Land
Speaker 1: Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio. Today, I'm go
Speaker 1: ask Alli. We're talking about sex. That's my super breathy
Speaker 1: sex voice. Because for years sex was taboo, highly questionable,
Speaker 1: and super awkward. But guess what. The sexual landscape is
Speaker 1: changing and now we are talking everything S e X
Speaker 1: and the perfect person to discuss all of this with
Speaker 1: is Dr Tiffany Henry. She is a sex and relationship
Speaker 1: therapist who has shared her expertise on Good Morning America,
Speaker 1: The Today Show, Access, Hollywood, The View, and so many others.
Speaker 1: She also maintains a psychotherapy practice in Atlanta, Georgia, and
Speaker 1: has recently added Intimacy Coordinator to her resume. Dr tiff
Speaker 1: is a former host of ABC's The Revolution and TLCS
Speaker 1: All about Sex. Dr tiff, thank you for being here
Speaker 1: and thank you for joining us today. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to talk to you. Oh thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to be here. So sex, sex, sex, sex,
Speaker 1: It's it's so full. There's so much to say about
Speaker 1: sex that it's sometimes hard for me to pick a lane,
Speaker 1: so to speak. But I want to start with asking
Speaker 1: you a very simple question, which is why did you
Speaker 1: go into this field? Wow? I kind of got in
Speaker 1: it around about sort of way. So let me just
Speaker 1: start off by saying, my mom is the love of
Speaker 1: my life. But we are Southern Baptists through and through.
Speaker 1: She grew up in a little town called Shelby, North Carolina,
Speaker 1: where church was was his own separate religion in addition
Speaker 1: to being the Southern Baptist, So she was one of
Speaker 1: those people very much rooted and raising the Bible, and
Speaker 1: it's very very prudish. Does not talk about sex. I mean,
Speaker 1: she won't use anatomical language. But the one thing that
Speaker 1: she did do in growing up what she made sure
Speaker 1: that I knew what sex was at an early age.
Speaker 1: How could she do that if she's not talking about it.
Speaker 1: What we would do what I remember my earth some
Speaker 1: of my earliest memories and going to the library and
Speaker 1: she would just get books, Like if I had questions
Speaker 1: about sex, she would take me to the library and
Speaker 1: we would get books and we would read them together,
Speaker 1: and some of them she would let me read on
Speaker 1: my own and something and this was probably I had
Speaker 1: to be like four or five years old, four or
Speaker 1: five six years old, and if I had yeah, I
Speaker 1: was very young, but I had questions, like, looking back
Speaker 1: on it is so weird just knowing how I shouldn't
Speaker 1: say religious spiritual she is, But as a kid, I
Speaker 1: just remembered having a question about something and she never
Speaker 1: shied away. I'm sure she was freaking out, but she
Speaker 1: never left me in on that. So rich is really great. Actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's awesome. So my mom was really really instrumental in
Speaker 1: getting me comfortable with sex, or comfortable with the conversation. Right.
Speaker 1: So when I got to college, I became a Women's
Speaker 1: studies minor, and in my human sexuality cores and geminism
Speaker 1: classes and all that, I started to realize that I
Speaker 1: could talk about sex a lot more freely than my
Speaker 1: counterparts could. I started thinking, Wow, sex therapy could be
Speaker 1: an avenue for me. And so as I was getting
Speaker 1: my masters in psychology, I was finding early on many
Speaker 1: of my colleagues would refer patients who had sexual issues
Speaker 1: because they just didn't have that comfort level and talking
Speaker 1: to them about their most intimate secrets. Um, it's very
Speaker 1: easy for me to ask the right questions and get
Speaker 1: to get them to open up. And my mom will
Speaker 1: just be like, that's just Tiffany. I don't know if
Speaker 1: she gets that from I have no idea when it
Speaker 1: was really all of her. She's the one that started
Speaker 1: it all. That's great. I grew up we didn't not
Speaker 1: talk about sex at all. Yeah. Yeah, And I as
Speaker 1: a mother now I have two teenage daughters, I made
Speaker 1: sure that it is a big open discussion all the
Speaker 1: time in our house because I don't think it serves
Speaker 1: the purpose. It doesn't help our kids to not talk
Speaker 1: about it because then, like I learned stuff from other
Speaker 1: people my age, and it was not accurate information. Right.
Speaker 1: So what it teaches you when you don't talk about
Speaker 1: it is I can't go to you for information, right.
Speaker 1: And the beauty of it is, you know, when when
Speaker 1: a kid is four or five, six, they still think
Speaker 1: their parents know things. They still think their parents are smart,
Speaker 1: so they will ask an abundance of questions. But if
Speaker 1: you wait until that kid is like eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
Speaker 1: you know nothing. You are the opposite of smart. There's
Speaker 1: nothing I want to say to you, and I cringe
Speaker 1: when you bring it up. So the best time really
Speaker 1: to inform your kids about sex really is at an
Speaker 1: earlier age. You want to inform them prior to them
Speaker 1: hitting puberty. You want to inform them prior to them
Speaker 1: needing the information, so that when they do need the information,
Speaker 1: they're already armed with it. And when they're dumb friends
Speaker 1: tell them information that, like you said, it's not accurate,
Speaker 1: they can say no, at any right, you do not
Speaker 1: put the condom on this way. There's so many adults
Speaker 1: Ali that don't know how to put on condoms correctly. Well, honey,
Speaker 1: it's been a long time since I was even in
Speaker 1: that position. But first of all, I believe it. The
Speaker 1: second of all, I wasn't educated. And then I noticed
Speaker 1: my kids when they were young in middle school, they
Speaker 1: had this version of sex ad and they got this
Speaker 1: book called Perfectly Imperfect and it was cartoons right, And
Speaker 1: to me that was completely wrong because the information was
Speaker 1: given to them in such a fintile, kind of happy,
Speaker 1: cartoony way, which it was hard for me to wrap
Speaker 1: my head around that. But then it was so specific.
Speaker 1: There were chapters about anal sex and everything, and I thought,
Speaker 1: you know what, she's eleven. So there are some things
Speaker 1: that I think we can wait on. But I do
Speaker 1: want to start with because this was a myth that
Speaker 1: I was led to believe for a long time that
Speaker 1: women don't need sex as much as men. Okay, have
Speaker 1: you heard that before, because I feel that was drilled
Speaker 1: into my head when I was like I've definitely heard
Speaker 1: versions of that. So the one thing that I think
Speaker 1: is pretty consistent amongst a lot of us is that, yeah,
Speaker 1: men's needs are different than women's needs. We've heard, you know,
Speaker 1: men think with their penises or good girls don't do X,
Speaker 1: Y and Z. I think it is a myth. I
Speaker 1: think that everyone's desire for sex, for intimacy, for closeness,
Speaker 1: whether that's emotional or physical closeness. I think it varies.
Speaker 1: I think it varies depending on where you are in life.
Speaker 1: You know. One of the biggest issues that I see
Speaker 1: in my practice and with women is low sex desire.
Speaker 1: And that is something that I would say eighty percent
Speaker 1: of women at some point in their lives will experience
Speaker 1: low sex desire. Now that's what the research says, I
Speaker 1: believe is closer to I'd say at least so that's
Speaker 1: at some point in their lives. But how much of
Speaker 1: that is hormones and age exactly? So it could be anything.
Speaker 1: I often look at it from a biopsycho social perspective,
Speaker 1: So I'm looking at their biological causes. So let's say
Speaker 1: it's a medication that you're taking, which might be a
Speaker 1: temporary thing, right, or perhaps antidepressants famously, right absolutely, or
Speaker 1: your having some hormonal challenges, or you're depressed for some
Speaker 1: other reason. But in general, a lot of people who
Speaker 1: are experiencing depression or anxiety or O c D or fatigue,
Speaker 1: not being able to sleep, sometimes they don't want to
Speaker 1: have sex. The bigger bubble, though, is social interaction. When
Speaker 1: I say social, I'm thinking about relationship challenges, right, So
Speaker 1: if you have a partner that you don't like, whether
Speaker 1: that's in the moment or just in general, you may
Speaker 1: not want to have sex with them. So there are
Speaker 1: so many different factors that can impact that. Now, for men,
Speaker 1: that social realm is a little bit different, and even
Speaker 1: I think sometimes the psychological men's brain chemistry. And I
Speaker 1: am not the m D here, so I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to talk to in depth about brain chemistry. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not smart enough to go up, so let's keep
Speaker 1: it about sex. Let's go So in general, a lot
Speaker 1: of men, they don't care that they're overwhelmed at work.
Speaker 1: They don't care that there are fifteen chores going on
Speaker 1: in the house. They don't care that we just had
Speaker 1: an argument. They still want to have sex. So they're
Speaker 1: able to compartmentalize all of the things that they have
Speaker 1: going on, and sex is like, it doesn't matter if
Speaker 1: the world is ending, that's what I want. We as
Speaker 1: women tend to um one. We are natural multitaskers, right,
Speaker 1: and we also are thinking about so many things at
Speaker 1: one time. We're not just thinking about our kids. We're
Speaker 1: thinking about the work that we have to get done.
Speaker 1: We're thinking about the work that we didn't get done.
Speaker 1: We're thinking about the laundry. We're thinking about the soccer
Speaker 1: match that has to happen, and who's going to pick
Speaker 1: up who from carpool and all of these different things.
Speaker 1: And so when we are overwhelmed and when we are
Speaker 1: thinking about so many things, sometimes sex is not the
Speaker 1: thing that is top of mind for us because we're
Speaker 1: stressed out about so much. So it's not that women
Speaker 1: think about sex less or want sex less or need
Speaker 1: sex less. I think we prioritize sex a little bit differently.
Speaker 1: It's times right. I also think too, that particularly with
Speaker 1: women and men, and women women and men men. But
Speaker 1: what happens when one partner is able to compartmentalize better
Speaker 1: than the other is it starts to become the currency
Speaker 1: of the relationship. Meaning I've known a lot of women
Speaker 1: and men who use sex to get other things they want.
Speaker 1: It happens. There's the theory that the person with the
Speaker 1: lowest sex desire in the relationship is the one who
Speaker 1: has the most control, because that person takes whether or
Speaker 1: not we have sex. In most relationships, the person who
Speaker 1: says no, I don't feel like it, I don't I'm
Speaker 1: not doing it until you do X, Y, and Z,
Speaker 1: they exercise an amount of power and control that outweighs
Speaker 1: the other partner. I don't think it is wise. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a useful tool. No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: I think there are better ways to get your needs men,
Speaker 1: and to get things done. We're going to take a
Speaker 1: short break and we'll be right back. Welcome back with more.
Speaker 1: Go ask Ali. One of my teenagers asked me once, Mom,
Speaker 1: why would anyone ever have anal sex? And I said,
Speaker 1: for jewelry, sweetheart. But but I want to go back
Speaker 1: to what you were saying about how women multitask they
Speaker 1: have so much in their minds, because one of the
Speaker 1: things I've heard from my girlfriends and from women over
Speaker 1: the years is that they disconnect a lot during sex
Speaker 1: and they have a hard time connecting back to their partner.
Speaker 1: And I'm I've been guilty of that too. I mean,
Speaker 1: do you have any doctor advice about how we bring
Speaker 1: our minds back to our bodies? Is it bury breathing
Speaker 1: as a start, So if someone is disconnecting, then my
Speaker 1: initial thought is, okay, well, what is it that you're
Speaker 1: disconnecting from? Is it? And it could be anything like,
Speaker 1: you know what, his breath is awful, and if I
Speaker 1: have to sit there and smell that the whole time,
Speaker 1: like I cannot be present for that, I have to
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Things like that. It's just like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: let's talk about listery because it comes in a really
Speaker 1: big container, like we can get some if that's what's needed,
Speaker 1: and a scraper. Yes, So it could be something as
Speaker 1: simple as that, or it could be you know what,
Speaker 1: I've been faking it for so long. He thinks he's
Speaker 1: doing a great job, and the reality is I just
Speaker 1: really want him to get this over with as soon
Speaker 1: as possible, and so we have to figure out the why,
Speaker 1: Like why am I not connected to this? Is it
Speaker 1: because I've fallen out of love with this person? Is
Speaker 1: it because sex does not interest me? Especially in the
Speaker 1: way in which we're doing it. We've been doing it
Speaker 1: in the same position, in the same bed and the
Speaker 1: same you know, routine for years and I'm board with it?
Speaker 1: What is it? Too often? I think that we leave
Speaker 1: it up to our partners to figure out how to
Speaker 1: get us to check back in without even telling them
Speaker 1: that we're disconnected. But don't you think women have been
Speaker 1: programmed to be pleasers and that listen to I. I
Speaker 1: bet a hundred percent of women you talked to have
Speaker 1: said at one point in their life they've faked orgasm
Speaker 1: or they've faked pleasure because we're taught that the pleasure
Speaker 1: is not for us exactly right. Sex is something that
Speaker 1: we do to pro create or to please our partner,
Speaker 1: but it's not necessarily something that we do because we
Speaker 1: enjoy it. And that is a myth that we really
Speaker 1: do need to dispel. I think that that needs to
Speaker 1: be your job going forward, Ali, you got my job
Speaker 1: is all okay? Let me just clear it with my family.
Speaker 1: This is my cause. But when you look at Darwinism
Speaker 1: and you look at survival of the fittest and everything,
Speaker 1: you know, men their jaw, it's to spread their seed
Speaker 1: throughout the land. Right to just make as many babies
Speaker 1: as it can. We incubate for nine months. So just
Speaker 1: those two things are enough physiologically to kind of understand
Speaker 1: why men and women are so different when it comes
Speaker 1: to sex, this real, basic, fundamental thing of what we're
Speaker 1: supposed to be doing on earth, I think, and I
Speaker 1: think that that is part of why women don't see
Speaker 1: themselves and don't allow themselves to be the kind of
Speaker 1: sexual beings that they can. Right, we don't tend to
Speaker 1: give ourselves permission to be sexual, to enjoy sex too,
Speaker 1: to just need and want an orgasm, you know, in
Speaker 1: one after all we've been through. I agree, we deserve
Speaker 1: an orgasm. Cis I deserve to like sex? You know?
Speaker 1: I know you deserve it. I agree, And I have
Speaker 1: to say that, you know, I'm guessing while you were
Speaker 1: growing up you didn't talk about masturbation. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: because it's dirty and self indulgent that I know. No,
Speaker 1: we don't either, But as I got older. I've never
Speaker 1: told anybody this, but when I was in college, I
Speaker 1: had never had an orgasm. Like I was sort of like, what,
Speaker 1: I don't quite get sex, but that's how you kind
Speaker 1: of keep a guy or a girl or whoever are they.
Speaker 1: And my roommate in college was like, what, you've never
Speaker 1: had an orgasm? I said, no, but I'm fine. I'm
Speaker 1: fine with it, like I don't need it. I like
Speaker 1: carrot cake. And she said, go and take a bath
Speaker 1: right now, and lie back and put your legs up
Speaker 1: and let the water flow on your vagina and I'll
Speaker 1: talk to you later. And I was like, no, that's gross.
Speaker 1: I kept laughing it off. I wouldn't do it, and
Speaker 1: she marched me in there and left. I came out
Speaker 1: twenty minutes later, all flushed, and she let me a cigarette.
Speaker 1: But I just had no idea. I mean, I had
Speaker 1: no concept of what desire was. I'd read romance novels.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what they were talking about. And
Speaker 1: then I thought, well, this is great. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with this that you know. The devil didn't come through
Speaker 1: the drain. You know, I didn't have a freak accident.
Speaker 1: I do think that understanding it as a young woman
Speaker 1: and a girl and having positive messages about it, you know,
Speaker 1: you end up nurturing that sexual part of yourself. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I was a late bloomer that way, but yeah, and
Speaker 1: I think many of us are right because I do
Speaker 1: think it is important. And granted, when we talk about
Speaker 1: sex education and educating our our kids, we're talking about
Speaker 1: age appropriate information. So the information I would give my
Speaker 1: four and five year old is very different than I
Speaker 1: would give my loving year old, which is very different
Speaker 1: than the talk I might have with my seventeen or
Speaker 1: eighteen year old getting ready to go off to college
Speaker 1: and have a roommate convinced her to lift her legs
Speaker 1: up right, So the conversation is completely different dependent upon
Speaker 1: the age. But as our kids get older and as
Speaker 1: we grow into womanhood and start to really think about
Speaker 1: sex from a pleasure perspective as opposed to like a
Speaker 1: performance perspective, I love to tell women that they are
Speaker 1: in charge of their own orgasm, that it is up
Speaker 1: to them whether they orgasm or not, and just thinking
Speaker 1: about that, like, I am in charge of my own orgasm,
Speaker 1: So if I don't have one, it's either because I
Speaker 1: don't want to have one, or because I haven't advocated
Speaker 1: for myself with my partner in order to get one,
Speaker 1: or it is because you know, things aren't working in
Speaker 1: the way in which I need them to in order
Speaker 1: to get myself there, whether that means I'm mentally blocking
Speaker 1: some things or disconnected from from what's happening and I'm
Speaker 1: not able to But I think the more that we
Speaker 1: empower women to be in charge of their orgasm and say,
Speaker 1: you know what, this, I enjoy this, I deserve this,
Speaker 1: I want to have this, and I'd love to have multiple,
Speaker 1: please and thank you. The time is now. The time
Speaker 1: is now for that to happen. And there are so
Speaker 1: many ways, like whether you're partnered or not, there are
Speaker 1: so many ways for us to be able to reach
Speaker 1: our orgasmic potential. You know, I had a I have
Speaker 1: a group of girlfriends and we once went away for
Speaker 1: a few days away from the relationships and the kids
Speaker 1: and everything, and we were talking about sex. And it
Speaker 1: was fascinating to me because there were the married women
Speaker 1: and the conversation always starts with how often do you
Speaker 1: and your significant other APSEX? And so you know, somebody's
Speaker 1: like I don't know, once every six months and everyone goes,
Speaker 1: what Then somebody else says, I don't know, four times
Speaker 1: a week, you know, and immediately everyone's going like, what,
Speaker 1: what's wrong? What? What? How? How helly the pair? And
Speaker 1: then we got into our own pleasure and we all
Speaker 1: like had such a really open thing. And the women
Speaker 1: were so relieved, you know what I mean, because we've
Speaker 1: all kept it so secretive and it's not something that
Speaker 1: we talk about at all, and so to get together
Speaker 1: and really talk about it in a real way was
Speaker 1: so empowering to me. I think it's so helpful for
Speaker 1: women to have discussions it is. It is because we
Speaker 1: lack the basic historically, lack the basic education around it
Speaker 1: growing up. Like I often say that your parents are
Speaker 1: your first sex educators, right, so when you think about
Speaker 1: it first, and this is probably going to piss a
Speaker 1: few people off, but like, the first masturbation that kids
Speaker 1: typically have is actually in the womb. There have been
Speaker 1: ultrasound photos of little babies playing with their genitals in utero,
Speaker 1: so that happens early on. They don't sexualize it, right,
Speaker 1: All they know is that this feels good. But as
Speaker 1: they get older and a baby, let's say a baby
Speaker 1: is putting their hand in their diaper to stimulate their genitals. Again,
Speaker 1: they don't sexualize it. And what do we do as
Speaker 1: parents We tap their hand or we say don't do that,
Speaker 1: or you know, good girls, don't or put that thing away,
Speaker 1: or that is sex education. You're teaching them about their
Speaker 1: bodies and what their their bodies are made for and
Speaker 1: what they should do. As they get older. We start
Speaker 1: naming body parts, and we start telling them where those
Speaker 1: things go and where it is appropriate for them to
Speaker 1: touch themselves and when it's appropriate for them to touch themselves.
Speaker 1: And for some of us, it was never going to
Speaker 1: be appropriate for them to do that. So what you're
Speaker 1: dealing with as adults when we start to have these
Speaker 1: kind of sister circles or meetings of the minds as
Speaker 1: women is all of the layers of things that our
Speaker 1: parents did and or didn't teach us, what our friends
Speaker 1: told us that may or may not have been true,
Speaker 1: and even just formal education. When we look at sex
Speaker 1: education in this country, historically, the only programs that were
Speaker 1: federally funded were abstinence only programs, So they weren't teaching
Speaker 1: you anything about how to have safe sex. They were
Speaker 1: just teaching you that the safest way to have sex
Speaker 1: is to abstain from it, Well, that doesn't teach us
Speaker 1: anything right and makes it much harder. It makes it
Speaker 1: much harder. And so I think when we think about
Speaker 1: it from that perspective, the more age appropriate information that
Speaker 1: we can give our young people, the better able they
Speaker 1: are to protect themselves, to be safe when they do
Speaker 1: have sex, and the more pleasurable their sexual experiences will
Speaker 1: be for themselves and for their partners. I completely agree.
Speaker 1: I remember I had a mom friend and her daughter
Speaker 1: in the car seat, you know, she was a toddler,
Speaker 1: would like rub up and down on the car seat
Speaker 1: and have an orgasm. And I remember that she used
Speaker 1: to like get really upset and freaking. You know, she
Speaker 1: was just like, oh my god, stop that, stop it.
Speaker 1: And I remember even thinking they're even after my own education,
Speaker 1: like stop, you know what I mean, stop screaming at her.
Speaker 1: And I could see then like this is not going
Speaker 1: to have positive consequences. Yeah, and we have to have
Speaker 1: the conversation, right, So the kid needs to know, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what your body, girl might not be appropriate
Speaker 1: to do that during math class, but hey, if you're
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. You know what handled your businesses. There's
Speaker 1: always a time and a place where. And I think
Speaker 1: the way that we react as parents, they ingest that
Speaker 1: that is a lesson in and of itself, and it
Speaker 1: tells them don't do it in front of mom. It
Speaker 1: doesn't say don't do it, just don't do it in
Speaker 1: front of its exactly because I don't need that reaction.
Speaker 1: I had one of my daughters come them from school
Speaker 1: and she said, what's with the blow job? And I thought,
Speaker 1: oh God, now I'm gonna have to describe it. You know,
Speaker 1: That's what I thought she was asking me, And I said,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? And she goes, I don't get it.
Speaker 1: What's in it for the girl? And I thought, I
Speaker 1: never thought of it that way when I was a teenager,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I just it never occurred
Speaker 1: to me that I was part of the equation. I
Speaker 1: love it. I love that question too, because here's what
Speaker 1: that tells me. I love that she is able to
Speaker 1: come to you and ask you these questions because she
Speaker 1: knows she's going to get a truthful answer, or at
Speaker 1: least you will give her some perspective. But what I
Speaker 1: love the most is what I think that most parents,
Speaker 1: most of us should do is to ask our kids
Speaker 1: what they already know or what they mean by the question. So,
Speaker 1: if a kid is coming to you, no matter what age, right,
Speaker 1: if they ask it five years old, what's up with
Speaker 1: the blow jobs? You know, I want to know what
Speaker 1: they've been exposed to and how they even know that
Speaker 1: language and what they're really asking exactly. So that's you know,
Speaker 1: number one, asked them what they already know. You will
Speaker 1: be surprised when your kids start asking you questions. They're
Speaker 1: asking you because they've heard something, they've read something, they
Speaker 1: saw something on YouTube, they have some sort of information
Speaker 1: and they're trying to make sense of it. So the
Speaker 1: more that we can clarify those things for them, the better.
Speaker 1: And I think particularly for girls, the more we have
Speaker 1: conversations about sex, the pleasure of it, as well as
Speaker 1: what consent is, what's okay and not okay? You know,
Speaker 1: I didn't know it wasn't okay for a boy to
Speaker 1: push me down, or if I've had too much to drink.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I could say no. So that's
Speaker 1: sort of all part of the thing. In fact, my
Speaker 1: girls and I taught them a really dumb song, but
Speaker 1: it goes, oh no, don't you dare, that's my no
Speaker 1: no square, and we sing it because I just want
Speaker 1: them when they go out to a party, just like
Speaker 1: have that in your head, like you do what you
Speaker 1: want to do? No school? Yeah, oh no, don't you dare?
Speaker 1: That's my no no square. All right, So let's talk
Speaker 1: about um. I want to talk about singles, maybe because
Speaker 1: it's a vicarious thing for me because I've been married
Speaker 1: for twenty years. But people that are out in the
Speaker 1: world single, looking for sex, looking for pleasure, I'm curious
Speaker 1: what you think red flags are. Meaning I have a
Speaker 1: girlfriend single, was dating a man. He seemed great on paper,
Speaker 1: you know, educated, the whole thing. He could not experience
Speaker 1: pleasure without S and M. And she could not continue
Speaker 1: with the relationship because she was not attracted to a
Speaker 1: man who could only be pleased by being submissive. Gotcha.
Speaker 1: And now that's an area of sex I don't know
Speaker 1: much about. But what happens when you're sort of really
Speaker 1: like somebody and their sexual fetishes or their sexual desires
Speaker 1: freak you out. Yeah, So it's not uncommon for people
Speaker 1: to be sexually incompatible. We all come into relationship right
Speaker 1: with our own baggage, with our own sexual history, with
Speaker 1: our own values and is ms that we've already kind
Speaker 1: of decided in our minds. And some of us come
Speaker 1: into it with our own history of kinky behavior or
Speaker 1: things that we're attracted to or turn us on, whether
Speaker 1: they're weird or not, So that is not uncommon. What
Speaker 1: I find to be troubling is when you are partnered
Speaker 1: with someone or you're trying to make that type of
Speaker 1: relationship work, when you're for you know truly that this
Speaker 1: does not turn me on, and in fact, it turns
Speaker 1: me off. You can have a wonderful person, a very
Speaker 1: nice human being, who is attracted or aroused by something
Speaker 1: that is a complete turn off to you, and that
Speaker 1: will be the detriment of that relationship, and that is okay,
Speaker 1: there is someone else out there that is better suited
Speaker 1: for them. For a lot of people, sex is kind
Speaker 1: of a bottom line kind of issue where if we
Speaker 1: can't have it in this type of way, or if
Speaker 1: this is what I need in order to feel fulfilled
Speaker 1: in my romantic relationship, if I can't have this, then
Speaker 1: it may not work. I think it's important to know
Speaker 1: that early on, though, I mean do you think that
Speaker 1: if somebody, if two people are starting to date and
Speaker 1: it's very clear that they have very different ideas about
Speaker 1: sexuality and pleasure, that it will work itself out in
Speaker 1: the future. It could. It really does depend on the
Speaker 1: couple and how much they actually like each other outside
Speaker 1: of the bedroom. It is common for individuals to not
Speaker 1: like the same things all the time. So one of
Speaker 1: the things that I will ask couples to do is
Speaker 1: kind of create some sort of always sometimes a neverlist
Speaker 1: when there is this big discrepancy in in what they
Speaker 1: like sexually, so you're always list. You know, would be
Speaker 1: things like, no matter what, I'm always down for giving
Speaker 1: a blowjob, right, I always will do that. You don't
Speaker 1: even have to ask. It's gonna happen every time we
Speaker 1: have sex. Sometimes might be like anal sex, like I
Speaker 1: don't really like it, not my thing, but you like it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll do it, but just don't expect it every night.
Speaker 1: And then there's the never category, which I'm really not into,
Speaker 1: you know, spanking, I'm not into s and m I'm
Speaker 1: not into being tied up. Please don't ever do that
Speaker 1: to me, because if you do, I'm out and being
Speaker 1: able to like spell those things out for yourself and
Speaker 1: be able to have some communication with your partner about
Speaker 1: what it is you like, you dislike, what you will
Speaker 1: always sometimes and never do. I think that that is
Speaker 1: so helpful and it puts it out there so that
Speaker 1: we don't have to keep going over it and you
Speaker 1: don't have to keep asking me to do something that
Speaker 1: you know good and well I'm not gonna do or
Speaker 1: that I hate doing. You don't think that takes away
Speaker 1: from the sexiness and romance of it. I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't personally. Now do you feel that way at it? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking I'm actually thinking about it myself because
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever had that specific conversation with
Speaker 1: my husband, but I wonder now we must have had
Speaker 1: bits of it over the years, because we do know
Speaker 1: what we like, don't like, we'll do, don't do yeah,
Speaker 1: And he may know, like there's this line like she
Speaker 1: my wife is not doing that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You know, there are some things that they just know
Speaker 1: he knows really big and they've accepted that and it's
Speaker 1: not a deal breaker for them. So the difference is
Speaker 1: for some people those red line items maybe deal breakers
Speaker 1: for them, and we have to let people be okay
Speaker 1: with that. Okay, that's a deal breaker for you, all right?
Speaker 1: Then by you know exactly, it's okay for me to
Speaker 1: walk away from that, because what I don't want is
Speaker 1: to compromise myself to feel awful about having done something
Speaker 1: that at my core I was just like I'm disgusted
Speaker 1: or now I'm disconnecting from this person because I feel
Speaker 1: like they're making me do something that they already know
Speaker 1: I hate doing, like walking them around on a leash.
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, not really turned on. So I
Speaker 1: want to talk about anal sex. Yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: What do you need to know? Because it's one of
Speaker 1: those taboo things. It's always out there and it is
Speaker 1: and again this might be a complete cliche, but I
Speaker 1: feel like men love it. Women either hate it or
Speaker 1: tolerate it. And I've gotten into arguments with men who
Speaker 1: are like, no, No, I've known women that loved anal sex,
Speaker 1: and I go, that is a lie. That's a lie.
Speaker 1: They wanted you to marry them. They were just hyper needy.
Speaker 1: It's not true. But I need a doctor's opinion on this. Okay,
Speaker 1: anal sex does not have to suck. Okay, it does
Speaker 1: not have to be awful. And there are some people
Speaker 1: out there, male and female identify that do appreciate, love it,
Speaker 1: and or crave it. There are some people who hate
Speaker 1: it and never want to experience it, have no interest.
Speaker 1: So here's the key. Let me give you the key.
Speaker 1: There are two things that are necessary for anal sex
Speaker 1: to be tolerable and or enjoyable for people who feel
Speaker 1: as though they will never like it and or enjoy it. Alright,
Speaker 1: So number one relax, Oh okay, so three who relaxed
Speaker 1: for sure? Um? So number two would be lube. Right. So,
Speaker 1: the vagina right around the corner from the anus right
Speaker 1: lubricates itself. Is a self cleaning oven. It is a
Speaker 1: frost free refrigerator. It does all the things it needs
Speaker 1: to do to prepare itself for int Okay, the anus
Speaker 1: does not lubricate itself, does not do that, will not
Speaker 1: do that. So you have to provide some lubrication. My
Speaker 1: recommendation in terms of lubrication for anal sex is a
Speaker 1: silicone based lubricant because it is thicker, it has more
Speaker 1: staying power. A lot of people will try like a
Speaker 1: water based lubricant. Because that's what they have. But it's
Speaker 1: water based, which means it's going to dry out faster.
Speaker 1: And because the anus does not lubricate itself, you really
Speaker 1: want something that's going to be a little bit thicker
Speaker 1: and that will stay for a while. So that's like
Speaker 1: the first thing. Making sure you have the right lubricant
Speaker 1: on board and a lot of it. Do not be cheap,
Speaker 1: and do not be skimpy. Okay, this is not the
Speaker 1: time to cut corners. We need all the loop costco size, yes, gosco.
Speaker 1: So that's number one. The second thing, and I think
Speaker 1: this is the part where people, I hate to say
Speaker 1: get stuck, but where is not good for folks. So
Speaker 1: the person who is receiving needs to be the one
Speaker 1: that is in control. Oftentimes the person that is giving
Speaker 1: is the one who is doing the thrusting and the
Speaker 1: pushing and the and all of that. Now, the problem
Speaker 1: with that is the person that is receiving is the
Speaker 1: one that has the anus, and the tissue around the
Speaker 1: anus is very thin. There's lots of nerve endings there,
Speaker 1: but the tissue is very thin. The person who is
Speaker 1: receiving should be the person doing the bulk of the movement.
Speaker 1: Back and forth and should be controlling that thrusting because
Speaker 1: they're the one that knows how that feels. The person
Speaker 1: who is giving doesn't know that this is hurting you,
Speaker 1: or the angle or the pressure or any of that.
Speaker 1: They don't know that. All they know is that it
Speaker 1: feels good to them. And what happens when they get
Speaker 1: lost in the pleasure of that which they are we
Speaker 1: talking the thruster? Okay, you know, I feel so good?
Speaker 1: They can get lost in it. They can. So this
Speaker 1: is a conversation that we have before as opposed to
Speaker 1: after or during that We're going to talk about control here,
Speaker 1: and I will be the one in control. And if
Speaker 1: I feel like you know, I may have to snap
Speaker 1: you out of it or pull back or pull you
Speaker 1: out if I can't be in control of this situation,
Speaker 1: because I'm the one with the anus that's getting rubbed raw,
Speaker 1: and I'd like for that not to happen. Now, do
Speaker 1: you have a lube in your arsenal of things that
Speaker 1: you make? Do you make a loube yourself? You know what? Alie?
Speaker 1: I am working on that. Are you really good? I am?
Speaker 1: I am? I'm working with a developer and a chemist
Speaker 1: right now. But what I do recommend a lot is Liquid.
Speaker 1: It is a brand of of lubricant that is natural
Speaker 1: and organic. We all have become a lot more conscious
Speaker 1: of what we put in and on our bodies. I
Speaker 1: really like their products. I also like Good Clean Love.
Speaker 1: They make fabulous lubricant And for individuals that have like
Speaker 1: skin irritations, that's just so important to me. The last
Speaker 1: thing you want after sex is irritation, because then it
Speaker 1: makes you regret the experience and not want to do
Speaker 1: it again. Absolutely, and this is a whole other podcast topic,
Speaker 1: but people that come in to a sexual relationship with
Speaker 1: trauma that also informs a lot of it. But if
Speaker 1: you've had an experience where there's trauma, where there's even
Speaker 1: physical trauma, it does affect the future of your sex life.
Speaker 1: It definitely affects how you proceed and and it's sad
Speaker 1: in some ways because you come in with the expectation
Speaker 1: that the other person is either going to do the
Speaker 1: same thing, re traumatize you, or won't be sensitive to it.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't necessarily have to be the case. I
Speaker 1: think again, just as we're responsible for our own orgasms,
Speaker 1: were also responsible for our own healing, and sometimes that
Speaker 1: healing process start with just like naming it, putting it
Speaker 1: out there and saying, hey, this happened, I'd like for
Speaker 1: it not to happen again. And so here's how we're
Speaker 1: gonna proceed. Now, A quick word from our sponsors. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to go ask Gali. Let's get back to the discussion.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about this particular thing
Speaker 1: that I've seen more and more talking about lubricants. I've
Speaker 1: gotten gift boxes of like designers sex gels and and suddenly,
Speaker 1: you know, celebrities, Gwyneth Palco, people are designing vibrators. There
Speaker 1: seems to be this huge renaissance about like, let's be
Speaker 1: sexual and let's not be shy about it. And I
Speaker 1: know that you have products as well. Have you noticed
Speaker 1: that just the landscape in terms of a coutra mall
Speaker 1: has changed in the last few years. I certainly have. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think what we're starting to see now is people,
Speaker 1: especially women, becoming hyper aware that many of the toys,
Speaker 1: many of the loubes, many of the things that have
Speaker 1: been offered to us have been what men wanted us
Speaker 1: to have and not what we ourselves have felt like.
Speaker 1: This is what I need. This is how I want
Speaker 1: to be sexual. You know, I have my own thoughts
Speaker 1: about it. I do think that we have to be
Speaker 1: very very informed when we are recommending certain products to
Speaker 1: go on or in our bodies. I think we have
Speaker 1: to be very responsible about that. Just because the celebrity
Speaker 1: endorses it doesn't mean that they've used it in or
Speaker 1: that it's something that's safe to use in the way
Speaker 1: in which they're telling you to use it. That's my
Speaker 1: biggest challenge is that as these products are coming out,
Speaker 1: just making sure that like there are some things that
Speaker 1: I'm like that doesn't need to go into the vagina
Speaker 1: like I would never you know, what about coconut oil,
Speaker 1: because I hear that a lot coconut all is fine.
Speaker 1: You just have to know whether or not you are
Speaker 1: because some people they have an adverse reaction like coconut oil.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you put that on everything, It's yeah, girl,
Speaker 1: But some people they don't job Their skin doesn't drive
Speaker 1: the coconut oil. So you've got to know that about
Speaker 1: yourself and just not think that it should be good.
Speaker 1: It's good for my hair, it's gonna be good down
Speaker 1: there too, you know. But for some people it does
Speaker 1: evaporate and melt into the skin rather quickly. Like I
Speaker 1: think it's a great used for like a massage oil,
Speaker 1: or to add it to a massage oil or something
Speaker 1: like that. As a lubricant, I think I would recommend
Speaker 1: something with a little bit more staying power for sure.
Speaker 1: And it can change the pH of the vagina, so
Speaker 1: we want to make sure that whatever it is, again,
Speaker 1: if you're putting in or on, that you're going to
Speaker 1: have a healthy vagina afterwards. I like that for you. Ali, Listen,
Speaker 1: that's why I don't do bath bombs anymore. Chemical and color, yes,
Speaker 1: so that's the same thing. Then they sell them to
Speaker 1: all the little girls and then all the little girls
Speaker 1: are running around with red vaginas exactly. And I have
Speaker 1: a six year old who wants a bath bomb so
Speaker 1: bad somebody will gift her one in every birthday basket
Speaker 1: or whatever. And I'm like, girl, I wish you could,
Speaker 1: but no, I don't want to let you leave without
Speaker 1: talking about marriage because I've been married for twenty years
Speaker 1: and I have a very healthy sex life. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the special sauces, but I'm totally still attracted
Speaker 1: to my husband, and I think vice versa. But you know,
Speaker 1: there are moments where I go like, I need somebody
Speaker 1: to give me advice on how to make it even better,
Speaker 1: and I, you know, I read things. Of course, there's
Speaker 1: the cliche stuff. I we're not going to role play.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to dress up as his nurse. But
Speaker 1: do you have patients that come to you and say,
Speaker 1: you know, I want this to be exciting for the
Speaker 1: next fifty years? Absolutely? How do I do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So one of I think the best indicator of what
Speaker 1: would make your partner happy is asking your partner. And
Speaker 1: you probably have the type of partner that will say, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I'm very happy, I'm fine, everything's great. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: it is. I'd like to keep it that way. So
Speaker 1: what is it that we haven't done that you would
Speaker 1: like to do? Oftentimes we ask our circle, or we
Speaker 1: ask other people outside of our relationship what can I
Speaker 1: do to spice things up right? And they don't They've
Speaker 1: not slept with your partner, I hope not, you know,
Speaker 1: but that we know in my circle anymore of that.
Speaker 1: So I think the first thing that we do, or
Speaker 1: that I encourage people to do, is to talk to
Speaker 1: their partner, like, what is it that I'm doing or
Speaker 1: not doing that could be better. Perhaps it's the way
Speaker 1: in which we do oral sex. Maybe it's that once
Speaker 1: a month we start going to a hotel and doing
Speaker 1: any there. And this is another tip to Sometimes people
Speaker 1: report like their sexual relationship and their intimacy was so
Speaker 1: hot and so steamy when they first met got together,
Speaker 1: and then it fizzles a Well, let's think back to
Speaker 1: what made it so hot and heavy, what with some
Speaker 1: of the things that we used to do back then.
Speaker 1: Let's recreate those moments. The only thing to remember is
Speaker 1: that four play begins well before we ever have sex,
Speaker 1: you know, before that night even starts. So if there
Speaker 1: are things that turn you on during the day or
Speaker 1: that get your mind going in that direction earlier on,
Speaker 1: like let's start that, you know, be neck and when
Speaker 1: he comes home, things like that have on your apron
Speaker 1: and just bawl a brownie batter okay, and be ready.
Speaker 1: Those are the types of things that are unexpected that
Speaker 1: maybe don't happen on a normal day, or maybe they do.
Speaker 1: I don't know, brownies are baked by the time he
Speaker 1: gets home. But it's funny because when you say be naked,
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people, men and women,
Speaker 1: when they don't feel sexy themselves, if they're overweight, and
Speaker 1: believe me, during this year in the pandemic, people have
Speaker 1: just been eating bread and cheese and they don't feel sexual.
Speaker 1: And I know, for me, when I feel good physically,
Speaker 1: I'm more apt to be at the front door naked.
Speaker 1: If I feel gross about myself, then forget it. I
Speaker 1: mean forget sex in general. But I'm certainly not going
Speaker 1: to be naked at the front door. And the reality
Speaker 1: is he doesn't care, I know, and he doesn't. They don't.
Speaker 1: They don't care. He chases me around, you know, he
Speaker 1: pulls up my skirt no matter what I look like.
Speaker 1: But I think it's a self issue. And that's the
Speaker 1: thing that we have to keep in mind. To Alley,
Speaker 1: is like we talk ourselves out of so much when
Speaker 1: we think about it. We would like to be more sexual,
Speaker 1: we look like to have that moment of being chased around.
Speaker 1: But I've decided because I don't look the way that
Speaker 1: I think that I should look, that I'm just not
Speaker 1: going to do it right. Whereas he's like tongue hanging out.
Speaker 1: I want you, no matter what you look like, feel
Speaker 1: like I just I just give me some of that.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I haven't showered, I haven't shaved my legs,
Speaker 1: I know. But also I wanted to to end with
Speaker 1: this idea of because it's something that's very sort of
Speaker 1: relevant in my life. It's something I talk about with
Speaker 1: my friends, which is middle aged women and on there's
Speaker 1: a and listen, this is what the media tells women
Speaker 1: that your sexual shelf life's over. And I feel like
Speaker 1: I fight that a lot. I'm like, I've never felt
Speaker 1: so empowered sexually more than I am right now. And
Speaker 1: don't say vaginal atrophy and don't throw all those words
Speaker 1: at me, because I don't feel whatever it is that
Speaker 1: it seems on paper. Meaning I had a vari insist.
Speaker 1: I had to have my ovaries out and and everyone's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're going to go into menopause or you're gonna lose
Speaker 1: your sexual drive, oh this, oh that, And I was like,
Speaker 1: uh uh no, I'm not. I'm going to make a
Speaker 1: conscious effort and I'm not going to. And I don't
Speaker 1: think that women should just sort of hang up their
Speaker 1: sexual hats because we're at a certain age. There's no need,
Speaker 1: there's no not to right, No it's a choice. It's
Speaker 1: a choice, and there's so many you know, medical advancement,
Speaker 1: there's so many toys. There's so many different things that
Speaker 1: we can do to be sexual. And you know, sex
Speaker 1: tends to be for a lot of people a very
Speaker 1: goal oriented behavior, like we're looking for the orgasm, the
Speaker 1: payoff at the end, and when you do that, you're
Speaker 1: not really enjoying the things that happen all throughout, like
Speaker 1: a process. Yet you're not enjoying the process. You're not
Speaker 1: there for the moments that actually get you there. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of fun stuff that happens before the orgasm
Speaker 1: if you're doing it right and if you're with the
Speaker 1: right person and just being present and enjoying that moment
Speaker 1: letting go I have. You know, one of the more
Speaker 1: common things that I see, in addition to low sex desires,
Speaker 1: women who say that they've never had an orgasm where
Speaker 1: they can't orgasm. And what I will say today is
Speaker 1: in general, when I find someone who says that they've
Speaker 1: never had an orgasm, what I what I ask is
Speaker 1: are you able to orgasm with toys? When they say, yes,
Speaker 1: I can orgasm with toy, but I can't do it
Speaker 1: with my partner. That tells me that the plumbing is
Speaker 1: actually working right. You can have an orgasm. We have
Speaker 1: to figure out why you can't have them with your
Speaker 1: husband or your partner or your lover, whomever this is.
Speaker 1: And there could be so many reasons. While I do
Speaker 1: encourage people to use toys if that's what they want
Speaker 1: to do, people are also becoming more dependent on them
Speaker 1: for their sexual pleasure and for orgasms. I mean, don't vibrators.
Speaker 1: I've read that you can be that women get used
Speaker 1: to that high intensity of vibrations from vibrators and because
Speaker 1: of it, consequently they aren't able to have an orgasm
Speaker 1: without having that intensity. Yeah, so your your partner's penis
Speaker 1: isn't gonna twirl around, It doesn't have beads in it,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have the rabbit head, and all of those
Speaker 1: speak for yourself, like so all of us aren't that blessed.
Speaker 1: So that's not necessarily going to happen. So we have
Speaker 1: to watch the right. But the other thing is when
Speaker 1: you become so dependent, it is a form of being
Speaker 1: more disconnected and pulling away from your partner because your
Speaker 1: partner can't do that. And so I've heard a lot
Speaker 1: of women say that, you know, I'll just have sex
Speaker 1: with my partner and then I finished myself off afterwards,
Speaker 1: and I'll get the vibrator out afterwards. So one of
Speaker 1: the solutions that I have for that is we need
Speaker 1: to start using couples toys. There are toys that you
Speaker 1: use with your partner so that they are engaged in
Speaker 1: this process too and you're not, so they're not left out.
Speaker 1: So there are plenty of couples toys out there, whether
Speaker 1: it's vibrating cock rings or dual toys where you would
Speaker 1: insert those into the vagina, but your partner would feel
Speaker 1: them as he inserts inside of you, and he would
Speaker 1: have that vibration too, and so it becomes the situation
Speaker 1: where you both are enjoying the toy as opposed to
Speaker 1: you just enjoying it separately. So there are so many
Speaker 1: things that you can do. Is that the most common
Speaker 1: thing you've heard women say, I can't have an orgasm
Speaker 1: with my partner. Most common is the low sex desire.
Speaker 1: But yeah, if they can't have an orgasm, when they
Speaker 1: just say nope, never ever able to have an orgasm.
Speaker 1: I've never been able to do that. I'm fifty years old.
Speaker 1: I've had sex plenty times, but I can't. What I
Speaker 1: know to be true in my work with women over
Speaker 1: the years has been those women tend to have difficulty
Speaker 1: letting go in many areas of their life. It's not
Speaker 1: just the bedroom, it's all over the place. So is
Speaker 1: that works with their families is they have to control everything.
Speaker 1: And orgasm in and of itself, ladies, is just about
Speaker 1: letting go, about being able to say, I release control
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna let this thing take over me and
Speaker 1: just enjoy this experience. And so the closer that we
Speaker 1: can get to being that person outside of the bedroom,
Speaker 1: it will help us inside the bedroom too. And that's
Speaker 1: where breathing and meditation and and things like that. Mindfulness
Speaker 1: come into play and do help out in the bedroom
Speaker 1: of being able to just basically dump all the contents
Speaker 1: of all those things that we worry and care about
Speaker 1: in our brain out so that we can be present
Speaker 1: in this moment, really connect with what's happening to our bodies,
Speaker 1: and being able to have the best orgasmic experiences of
Speaker 1: our lives. Well, if there's a time to end this podcast,
Speaker 1: it is right there. Thank you so much. Was this
Speaker 1: was so fascinating. Yeah, it was for me too. I
Speaker 1: learned a lot about you. God, I know I didn't
Speaker 1: cover it up enough. I loved it. I think the
Speaker 1: sexual climate is starting to change. We're talking about it more,
Speaker 1: We're talking to future generations about it more, and it's
Speaker 1: just no longer that hush hush conversation. And I think,
Speaker 1: particularly for women, it's time for us to rise up
Speaker 1: and own our sexuality, own our pleasure, own our orgasms,
Speaker 1: own the whole damn thing. I know that as a
Speaker 1: younger woman, when I had my first sexual experience, I
Speaker 1: ended up in the emergency room because I was bleeding,
Speaker 1: and I thought that was it. Sex was not for me.
Speaker 1: It was painful, it was horrific. And I'm happy to
Speaker 1: say that over the years sex has gotten better and
Speaker 1: more fulfilling and more full of love. And I think
Speaker 1: it's so important, particularly for women now, to discuss our
Speaker 1: sexuality and to own our orgasms and our desires, and
Speaker 1: especially for future generations talking to our children, you know,
Speaker 1: age appropriate about our bodies and about sex and about
Speaker 1: what it all means. It's so important. So again, let's
Speaker 1: talk about sex. Baby. Thank you for listening to go
Speaker 1: ask Alli join me next week for my conversation with
Speaker 1: financial whiz and host of the podcast Journey to Launch,
Speaker 1: Shamila sou Front. Ladies, did you know that You're wired
Speaker 1: to be amazing? With money catching? Ka ching ka ching?
Speaker 1: Cash in on this one. Be sure to subscribe, rate
Speaker 1: and review the podcast and follow me on social media
Speaker 1: on Twitter at Ali e Wentworth and on Instagram at
Speaker 1: the Real Ali Wentworth And if you have questions or
Speaker 1: guest suggestions, I'd love to hear from you, call or
Speaker 1: text me at three to three three six four six
Speaker 1: three five six or email Go Ask Gali podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Go Ask Gali is a production of
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