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Speaker 1: Two point five. Hello. Hi, is this Gavin in the

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Speaker 1: Quality control department? Yes, it is Hey, how are you man?

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Speaker 1: My name is Seth McElroy. I'm calling from Corporate HR.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. How you doing? I'm good. Thanks. I'm calling

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Speaker 1: because we've started doing some new automated testing and we're

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Speaker 1: doing all the departments and you are next up on

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Speaker 1: the list. What do you mean any testing? It's just

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Speaker 1: a brand new thing the companies spent a lot of

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Speaker 1: money on. I just play it for you. You respond

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Speaker 1: to the commands and get you off the phone, get

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Speaker 1: you back to work. Okay. And you're calling from corporate Yeah, okay. Now,

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Speaker 1: as a third party on this call, I will be listening,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just going to send you into the system. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, thank you for taking brand new human resource survey.

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Speaker 1: Follow the instructions, then please wait for my response. Today

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Speaker 1: we'll be doing an automated drug test. Please blow into

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Speaker 1: the phone. I'm sorry, blow harder. You've tested positive for

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Speaker 1: mari one. Um? How is I mean? That's that's not possible.

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Speaker 1: You've been around it at all? Maybe like any parties

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Speaker 1: or I don't know, like a reggae concert or something. No, no,

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Speaker 1: I haven't Okay, Um, I don't do drugs. There's no

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Speaker 1: way you can find this out on the phone if

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Speaker 1: I did. All I know is the company spent hundreds

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Speaker 1: of thousands of dollars on this. I think it's pretty accurate.

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Speaker 1: Are you serious? One serious? Are you being one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent serious of me? I'm being serious. I've never I

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Speaker 1: haven't been around pot or anything. Okay, Kevin, all right,

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Speaker 1: all right, Well you know I'll take your word for it. Um,

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Speaker 1: I mean, ibe it's a bug or something. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'll let you try it again if you want. I

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Speaker 1: mean they didn't, I mean yeah, sure, yeah, all right.

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Speaker 1: Like I said before, I have to let you know

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Speaker 1: I'm listening, but I'll send you back into the automated system.

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Speaker 1: Please blow into the phone. You've tested positive for crack cocaine.

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Speaker 1: Oh come on, man, what is this? There's no way

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Speaker 1: to be crack cocaine on us. Let me ask you,

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Speaker 1: how do you know so much about crack cocaine? You

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Speaker 1: can watch movies when I was growing up. Well, obviously

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Speaker 1: because of you failing this. The next step is to

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Speaker 1: do like a hair and a blood test and everything. Okay,

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Speaker 1: fan tappics, I will come in right now and test me.

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Speaker 1: I have no problem with that. There's no way I'm

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Speaker 1: going to test for anything. Okay, good, But we have

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Speaker 1: to schedule the testing about three weeks out, and because

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Speaker 1: of these results, you're going to be suspended without pay

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Speaker 1: for that three weeks. You can't do that. That's not possible.

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Speaker 1: There's no way you can suspend me for something that's

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Speaker 1: done over the phone. That's absolutely inaccurate. I cannot be

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Speaker 1: suspended for three weeks. If you were familiar with our

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Speaker 1: drug policies, like you say you are, you know that

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Speaker 1: I can do this. Ah. Here's what I'm gonna do.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna let you take it one more time,

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Speaker 1: and then if you test, if you test positive for

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Speaker 1: an anything else, then I have to go ahead and

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Speaker 1: write you up and I have to put you on suspension.

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Speaker 1: And like I said, i'm a third party on this call.

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Speaker 1: I'll be listening. I'm gonna send you back in there.

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Speaker 1: All right, Please blow into the phone. You've tested positive

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Speaker 1: for a substance known as crank. You're fired, you idiot.

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Speaker 1: What the heck was lad? This is actually jewel from

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving night to

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Speaker 1: two point five doing a phone tap on you. Your

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Speaker 1: boss Kevin set you up. Yeah, man, it's a joke.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gods. Cool you guys. Myself weak up every

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Speaker 1: morning with jewel phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties,

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Speaker 1: I N. Two point five