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Speaker 1: Just give me all heads up. But this is a

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Speaker 1: continuation of last week's episode. My guest decides to come

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Speaker 1: back and share her story on her experience and psych Wars.

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Speaker 1: So I really do hope that y'all enjoyed this week's episode.

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Speaker 1: Until next time. PhD's later welcome. You are now listening

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Speaker 1: to the Professional Professional Girl. Oh professional Hey, Professional Home

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Speaker 1: Girls is the kid of a name from the PSG podcast,

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Speaker 1: The only place where you would hear interviews from black

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Speaker 1: women an honestly on stories that will enlighten and expand

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Speaker 1: on taboo topics. Now, if you hear someone that sounds familiar,

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Speaker 1: mind the business that pays you child. If you like

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Speaker 1: the PhD podcast, please rate, review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Please five star reviews only. Hold me Down, Don't Hold

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Speaker 1: me Up. Merch is now available on the site as

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Speaker 1: well as my book list, so please make sure you

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Speaker 1: visit the link in the show notes below. You can

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Speaker 1: connect with the kids on Instagram at the Professional Home

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Speaker 1: Girl and at the PhD podcast. If you are on Twitter,

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Speaker 1: please follow me at the PhD podcast. Now. If you

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Speaker 1: are all caught up with episode, listen to the bonus

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Speaker 1: episodes by supporting the PSHG Podcast Patreon account. To support,

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Speaker 1: please visit www dot patreon dot com. Forward slash the

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Speaker 1: PSD Podcast. Now, please keep in mind that all of

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Speaker 1: my guests are annot So let's again this week's episode. So,

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite guests came back to the show.

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Speaker 1: I was just giving her some loving y'all to share

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Speaker 1: her story on her stay at psych Wars. So, so,

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Speaker 1: my guests, how are you doing? How are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: I'm doing good, feeling good, feeling great, you know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Holly Black and Blessing Favor. Okay, how was your days Giving?

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Speaker 1: My Thanksgiving was as good as it could be. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, speaking of you know, mental health experiences. I'm

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Speaker 1: dealing with a family member who's going through some dementia

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Speaker 1: and some other um mood disorders. So we spent some

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Speaker 1: time with them on Thanksgiving and it ended up being

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Speaker 1: better than I expected, but it was still you know, uh,

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Speaker 1: it was still um something to work through, you know,

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Speaker 1: as someone who has been through mental health issues, and

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Speaker 1: it's seeing someone that I'm very close to go through

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Speaker 1: those issues as well, So you know, it was it

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Speaker 1: was an experience, but I'm really glad that I had

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Speaker 1: that time with them. Can it be triggering for you

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Speaker 1: to be around people who might be experiencing that, um,

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Speaker 1: triggering in the respect that Um, it just kind of

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Speaker 1: takes me back to like when I was going through

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Speaker 1: that stuff and you know, me being like, wow, is

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Speaker 1: that what I'm like when I'm managed? But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, so it does make me think a lot

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Speaker 1: about that. But as far as like making me like

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Speaker 1: sending me into an episode myself, I haven't had that experience.

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Speaker 1: How are they doing now? Um, you know, they're doing

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Speaker 1: as well as possible there. Um, they have twenty seven

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Speaker 1: care in a nursing facility, so thankfully they are taken

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Speaker 1: care of. You know, they don't have anything to really

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Speaker 1: worry about. But um, you know, they just want their independence.

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Speaker 1: They want to go home and things like that. But

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Speaker 1: this is just the best thing for them right now.

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Speaker 1: So you know, always praying for him and always hoping

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Speaker 1: that you know, they will come out on the other

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Speaker 1: side and be, um, you know, more present mentally, but

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Speaker 1: you know they're kind of up or an age, so

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Speaker 1: it might just kind of be is what it is.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, that's how that's going. Thank you for asking,

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Speaker 1: of course, No, my grandmother had all times in dimension

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Speaker 1: and I'm not easy. Yeah, it's really difficult. It's it's

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Speaker 1: really difficult to to not only go through, um, go

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Speaker 1: through seeing what they're going through, like experiencing them in

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Speaker 1: that state, but also you know, like the level of

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Speaker 1: responsibility that comes with it. You know, yeah, it really

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Speaker 1: is and I don't think people really understand that, especially

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Speaker 1: when you have a smaller family and you know, you

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Speaker 1: don't really have um people that you can depend on. UM.

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Speaker 1: It really and this is ultimately why UM this family

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Speaker 1: member is in a nursing facility because you know, we

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Speaker 1: it's it's literally me and my sister, Like it's just

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Speaker 1: me and her and we both like, I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: writing books and doing podcasts and stuff, and my sister

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Speaker 1: has a full time job where she goes into the office.

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Speaker 1: So it's just not possible for us. But you know,

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Speaker 1: we're doing the best that we can with what we have, right. No,

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Speaker 1: I totally get it being a carrier giver, it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: And then sometimes when you put your loved one and

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Speaker 1: the nervousing's facility had like you kind of feel kind

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Speaker 1: of bad. And so I totally understand where you're going

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Speaker 1: for definitely sending some love and light your way. Thank you, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Now, before we get into your story, we

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Speaker 1: gotta do a little history lesson. So for those of

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Speaker 1: you all that didn't know this, our girl, the United

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Speaker 1: States of America has such a deep, brutal history of flaws,

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Speaker 1: psych wars, mental hospitals, and a stance. In addition, President

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Speaker 1: John F. Kennedy passed the Institutionalization Act in nineteen sixty three,

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Speaker 1: and President Ronald Reagan, I know you're shaking your head right, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm you're telling me some stuff I didn't know. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm learning. And President Ronald Reagan made it his mission

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Speaker 1: to shut down mental health facilities despite being shot by

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Speaker 1: men who have mental illness. So, to my guests, why

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Speaker 1: do you think America, after all these years, still has

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Speaker 1: a hard time grasping the fact that mental illness is

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Speaker 1: a real thing and should be treated properly. Wow? Um,

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Speaker 1: so I thought that crazy when I when I read that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: And like I said, some of that I didn't know. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, thank you for informing me. But um, you know,

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Speaker 1: as far as how this country handles and deals with

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Speaker 1: mental illness specifically, not just like mental health self care,

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Speaker 1: but like mental illness is very flawed. Um. You know,

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Speaker 1: and this is coming from someone who has been hospitalized

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Speaker 1: slash been insy words four times, UM, and you know

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Speaker 1: it's it's really I just saw an article in the

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Speaker 1: New York Times recently about Eric Adams, UM essentially saying

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Speaker 1: that people who appeared to be mentally ill will be

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Speaker 1: involuntarily hospitalized or you know, whatever whatever needs to be

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Speaker 1: done with them, whether it's putting them in jail. Basically

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Speaker 1: they're cleaning the streets of New York City, um and

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Speaker 1: making sure that there are no quote unquote mentally ill

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Speaker 1: people um in public. You know. And to me, that

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Speaker 1: just says a lot about where we are in the

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Speaker 1: mental health conversation, the mental health actions and um, you know,

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Speaker 1: the practicality of what we're doing there. There is no

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Speaker 1: solution that is perfect, obviously, but I think at this

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Speaker 1: point we are at a we are at a stage

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Speaker 1: where we're just doing the same thing we've been doing.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's like, you know, just put them away,

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Speaker 1: just keep them out of sight, just make them invisible.

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Speaker 1: Like nobody I made a TikTok about this recently, um

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Speaker 1: that nobody really wants to see or hear from somebody

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Speaker 1: who has disabled, somebody who is mentally ill until they're

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Speaker 1: normal and ready to positively contribute to society. Like that's

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Speaker 1: just the way this country is it up. We're all

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Speaker 1: about capitalism, go go go, Can you make me money

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Speaker 1: or not? And if you have no capability of performing

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Speaker 1: those tasks and those duties as far as like being

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Speaker 1: a cog in the will of society, then people don't

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Speaker 1: really know what to do with you. And you know,

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Speaker 1: just like from my own experiences of you know, seeing

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Speaker 1: people who who likely were you know, houseless, you know,

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Speaker 1: and we're just kind of like picked up and plopped

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Speaker 1: in this hospital for X amount of days or X

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Speaker 1: amount of weeks, and it's like, is this a solution

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Speaker 1: or is this a band aid? And I think that's

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Speaker 1: kind of what we're dealing with as the society is

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Speaker 1: we're putting band aids over gaping wounds, and we're not

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Speaker 1: really coming to terms with the fact that our current system,

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Speaker 1: like I said earlier, is deeply flawed. Right, And you

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Speaker 1: made a good point about being homeless because due to

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Speaker 1: these two um laws that were passed, a lot of

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Speaker 1: people became homeless, which also increased incarceration, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. So it's like, I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: assuming thing. And I know mental illnesses doesn't have a race,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like mental illness is very, um, very

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Speaker 1: prevalent in our community, and I feel like this was

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Speaker 1: a way for them to like hurt us. No for real.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like when you look at um Okay,

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Speaker 1: so when I was in the facilities that I was

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Speaker 1: in mostly black and brown people, Um, it's like exactly,

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say that, It's like, it's deeply

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Speaker 1: reflective of how we treat people of color in this country,

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Speaker 1: black people specifically. It's like, if we don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do with you, if you're not again, as I said,

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Speaker 1: positively contributing to society as we know it, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: get rid of you one way or another. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: statue in the hospital, We're gonna statue in the jail

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Speaker 1: or prison worse. So yeah, it's really, um, it's really

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Speaker 1: sad because is you know, I do like we all have,

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Speaker 1: you know, fortunately or unfortunately, we all have someone that

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Speaker 1: we know in our immediate family or extended family or

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Speaker 1: friends of the family who are you know, Oh that's

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Speaker 1: my crazy uncle june Bug. You know, like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: he on me, no harm or whatever. And it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like is he getting help? And if so, like

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Speaker 1: is it is it proper help or is he just

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Speaker 1: being institutionalized? So that's something that I feel very strongly about.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it's it's just it's just very reflective and

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Speaker 1: indicative of the way that we treat black people and

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Speaker 1: people of color in this country. Is just can you

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Speaker 1: do something for me? No, Okay, Well I'll figure out

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Speaker 1: what to do with you, and it won't be a

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Speaker 1: good thing. Man. That's so damn scary, ain't it? Ain't

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Speaker 1: it ain't right? Yeah? Oh my god. So in our

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Speaker 1: last conversation, I asked you about your thoughts on mental

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Speaker 1: health and bipolar But what were your thoughts on psych

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Speaker 1: wars and hospitals before you were hospitalized? Oh wow? So

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Speaker 1: I actually, um, I had my first experience with a

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Speaker 1: mental health facility when I was around eight years old.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I haven't talked about it that much, but

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Speaker 1: it's um, you know, it was a situation where I

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Speaker 1: don't remember. I remember like little bits and pieces, but

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Speaker 1: I don't remember exactly what led up to the moment

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Speaker 1: of my family being like, we gotta get her some help.

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Speaker 1: But as the story goes, like I tried to break

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Speaker 1: into my older brother's room with a butterlife with a

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Speaker 1: butter knife and harm him with it, and they were like, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: what's going on. She's never done anything like this before.

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Speaker 1: So they, you know, made the decision to send me

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Speaker 1: to a hospital. And it was maybe like thirty forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes away from my hometown, and yeah, it was Um.

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Speaker 1: I was only there for about a week. I remember

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Speaker 1: it was around my sister's birthday because years old. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was there for about a week at eight years old,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it was it was more of a

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Speaker 1: place for people with various disorders. It wasn't just like

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Speaker 1: mental illness specifically, Like I remember, somebody had a skin disorder. Um,

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Speaker 1: somebody had um like a missing limb or something like that.

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Speaker 1: So it was like people who were dealing with various

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Speaker 1: stages of like not abnormality that's the way that society

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Speaker 1: sees it, but just like different ways of living. So um, yes,

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Speaker 1: I was there, and it was incredibly scary for me

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Speaker 1: because I had never been away from home that long,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it was just it was just a

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Speaker 1: very um, unusual thing for me to experience at eight

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Speaker 1: years old. So after getting out of there, after the

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Speaker 1: week that I was there, UM, I had, you know,

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Speaker 1: just a different understanding of life. You know. It was

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Speaker 1: like people go through things, people have to get help,

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Speaker 1: and then they get out of it and then they

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Speaker 1: you know, move on to move on to other things

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Speaker 1: in life. So I had a pretty early experience that

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Speaker 1: kind of affected the way that I saw mental health

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Speaker 1: facilities and psych words and things like that. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I still didn't really have like a real grasp on

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Speaker 1: like the adult you know facility because the one that

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Speaker 1: I went to obviously was like maybe teens and under,

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Speaker 1: So you know, being in an adult facility was a

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Speaker 1: completely separate experience. I wasn't expecting you to say that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was definitely. UM it was definitely a an eye

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Speaker 1: opening thing for my whole family. You know. It was

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Speaker 1: it was something that nobody saw coming, you know, and

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Speaker 1: that's typically how it is for for all mental health

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Speaker 1: UM crises, is people don't see it coming. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like even though there maybe a build up or

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Speaker 1: like before I had my first episode, UM, my sister

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Speaker 1: was like, I could tell something was off, I just

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Speaker 1: didn't know what it was. So you know, even when

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Speaker 1: when people have that innate like gut feeling like yo,

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Speaker 1: something's off. And even my friends were like, we're concerned

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Speaker 1: about your mental health, Like you don't usually talk like this.

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Speaker 1: You're not very like spiritual and god fearing every single

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Speaker 1: moment of every single day. So, which is the main

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Speaker 1: facet of my episodes. So yeah, you know, it's it was,

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Speaker 1: um the one the experience that I had when I

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Speaker 1: was eight versus the one that I had when I

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Speaker 1: was my first major episode, they were very different, um

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Speaker 1: because at eight I was more so I guess, like

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Speaker 1: I guess, I guess I was psychotic at that time

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Speaker 1: or experiencing psychosis. But it was a different kind of psychosis.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like whenever I experienced psychosis. Now it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, all health Jesus, you know, let's get ourselves together.

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Speaker 1: The world is ending. We gotta we gotta go, you know,

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Speaker 1: And that was not the case when I was eight.

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Speaker 1: It was very different. So yeah, it's it's super interesting

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Speaker 1: how how even just growing and adapting to life can

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Speaker 1: transform the way that you experience something. Yeah, being that

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Speaker 1: you're a little bit older now, do you agree with

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Speaker 1: what your parents did to you at eight? Do you

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Speaker 1: think that would have been the best option or do

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Speaker 1: you think there could have been different things they could

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Speaker 1: have done. Yeah, that's I've never thought about that. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was kind of young to send a

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Speaker 1: child or what. You know what I'm saying like, yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it's it's just really strange because, um, like

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Speaker 1: the facility that I was at, um, like my grandmother

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Speaker 1: has been there in recent years, like it's still open

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Speaker 1: so um, you know, it's still very much functioning and everything.

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Speaker 1: But as far as the decision that was made when

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Speaker 1: I was eight, um, yeah, I guess you know, they

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Speaker 1: didn't know what else to do. You know, they didn't

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Speaker 1: want me to hurt anybody or myself, so they were

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Speaker 1: just kind of like, let's, you know, see what's going on.

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Speaker 1: Maybe a doctor can tell us, like what she's exhibiting,

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Speaker 1: it said Era, And yeah, I just kind of rolled

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Speaker 1: with it, you know, as as an adolescent. You know,

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Speaker 1: I did the best that I could with what I had.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't disagree with what they did. It

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Speaker 1: was it was mainly my mom, My father wasn't around,

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Speaker 1: and my grandma, I think was living with us at

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Speaker 1: that time, so I think the two of them kind

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Speaker 1: of put their heads together and decided what they were

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Speaker 1: going to do. But you know, it was it was

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Speaker 1: a decision that I'm sure they didn't make lightly, and

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Speaker 1: it didn't you know, Like I think after I got

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Speaker 1: out of that facility, they put me on some kind

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Speaker 1: of medication and I don't remember what it was, but

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Speaker 1: it wasn't very long before my mom was like, She's

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Speaker 1: not going to be on this anymore. And then for

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Speaker 1: the next two decades, I was just like living life.

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Speaker 1: Didn't have a care in the world, you know, excelling

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Speaker 1: at school and you know, activities and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Like I was always a very like a go get

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Speaker 1: her a kind of person. So yeah, it didn't really

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Speaker 1: have like a profound act on me in that respect.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know. I think, like I said,

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Speaker 1: I think they made the best decision that they could

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Speaker 1: at that time. Do you feel like the media hurts

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Speaker 1: or helps the perceptions of hospitals or psyche wars, because

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Speaker 1: we do know that there were hospitals that we're doing

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Speaker 1: insane and who made things to their patients. Yeah for sure. UM.

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Speaker 1: So on the one hand, you have like your um,

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Speaker 1: what is it called One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?

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Speaker 1: You know that movie? Yeah it I didn't watch it

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Speaker 1: for I watched it for the first time maybe a

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Speaker 1: year ago, and I was like, oh my god, like

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Speaker 1: it was crazy. It was crazy. Yeah, so um that movie.

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Speaker 1: Shows like American Horror Story. Um. Things like that, Um,

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Speaker 1: I feel are both representative but also exaggerative. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like at some especially maybe you know, in like

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Speaker 1: the sixties, seventies, eighties, things like that, I feel like

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Speaker 1: certain facilities probably we're doing a bunch of dirty ship

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Speaker 1: and not really being the best places for people who

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Speaker 1: need help. And I feel like that's still the case

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Speaker 1: today in some places, like you know, the four places

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Speaker 1: that I stayed, um for mental health treatment. I would

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Speaker 1: say that too, like two out of the four. I

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Speaker 1: would like never ever, ever, ever ever set foot in

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Speaker 1: those places again, like just outright terrible places, mostly terrible people.

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Speaker 1: How people are? How is what possible? I mean, I

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Speaker 1: I know it's possible, but I just don't understand how

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Speaker 1: is I mean it's the government, but yeah, how you

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Speaker 1: allowing these facilities to treat people this way, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: care for our conversation. And I was just doing research

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Speaker 1: on because you know American horror story they do exaggerates

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Speaker 1: some things, but it does come from somewhere and yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I was just doing research stuff and I was like,

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Speaker 1: my god, like this is crazy. Yeah, yeah, it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: just to kind of like touch a little bit on

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Speaker 1: like one of my experiences. It was actually the first

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Speaker 1: hospital that I was in in the Bronx, and it

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Speaker 1: was just it was just shifty. You know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be up front, you know. It was

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Speaker 1: not a good place for anybody to be, especially because

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Speaker 1: um and yeah, the other place that I mentioned as well,

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Speaker 1: they were like doing construction like while we were there,

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Speaker 1: and it was like why are we here, Like there

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Speaker 1: are all these particles flying around, there's all this noise,

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Speaker 1: like it just didn't make any sense so exactly exactly,

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Speaker 1: And this was like pre COVID, so it wasn't like

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Speaker 1: people weren't really thinking about illness and that and to

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Speaker 1: that much degree. But now it's like I think they're

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Speaker 1: a little bit more careful. Maybe I haven't been hospitalized

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Speaker 1: since twenty nineteen, which was obviously before everything broke out.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, to go back to my first experience, it was, um,

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Speaker 1: it was just not well kept. Number one. It was

341
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Speaker 1: you know, um over crowded. The people who worked there

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Speaker 1: were overworked. And yeah, they just did not pay close

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Speaker 1: attention to us, it was. And when they did, it

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Speaker 1: was like and so far as they didn't want us

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Speaker 1: like making bonds with each other, like they didn't want

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Speaker 1: us to really get to know each other as patients. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was. It was a very isolating place

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Speaker 1: and like I said, it was, it was relatively disgusting

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Speaker 1: just to be there. Um. When my brother and sister

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Speaker 1: picked me up, Um, they flew from Texas to the

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Speaker 1: Bronx to come get me, and they were just like,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you were there, Like I'm so sorry

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Speaker 1: that you spent all that time. They were the friends

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Speaker 1: that I had in New York at that time. They

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Speaker 1: visited me, and they were just like we felt so bad,

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Speaker 1: like we didn't want to visit you because we just

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00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: felt terrible about the conditions of the place that you

358
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Speaker 1: were in. So um, you know, it was it was

359
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Speaker 1: not a good place to be. And yeah, I'm nothing

360
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Speaker 1: cut you off. My mouth would have been so slick.

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00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, so if you if you can't

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Speaker 1: come visit, imagine how I feel living here. Yeah, we're real.

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Speaker 1: And I was there for five weeks. You know, it

364
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: was like come on now, it was a minute, and

365
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Speaker 1: like you know, when one of those friends visited me,

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Speaker 1: I think one time, in the other visited me twice,

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Speaker 1: and then the yeah, and then the guy that I

368
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Speaker 1: was dating, who like was you know, I was staying

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Speaker 1: with him and then I went missing, um, which I

370
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Speaker 1: think we talked about in our initial conversation. Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: he visited he lived like right up the street and

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Speaker 1: he visited me maybe three or four times in five weeks,

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Speaker 1: just like a nigger yet again. So yeah, so um yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was really lonely. And on top of that,

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Speaker 1: it was really difficult to to contact my family because

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00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: they had this ridiculous system where you had to like

377
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: get like a code and then you would have to

378
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 1: take it to a nurse, and then the nurse would

379
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: have to like dial in her station and then you'd

380
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 1: go to a pay phone type of situation and then

381
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 1: you could dial out. But like, of course, I was

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Speaker 1: like manic for most of that stay, so I couldn't

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Speaker 1: really like my mind was like, okay, there's trickery a foot,

384
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Speaker 1: you know, like I gotta do this and this and this.

385
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Speaker 1: This can't be my family, so um, you know. And

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Speaker 1: then when my family did call me, they would tell

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Speaker 1: them that I was asleep or that I was you know,

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Speaker 1: in a meeting or in something like that. And then

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Speaker 1: it was just like very difficult to communicate with my family.

390
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Speaker 1: And I feel like when I, especially with my sister,

391
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Speaker 1: when I talked to her, that's when I come back

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Speaker 1: to myself the quickest. So it was just I don't

393
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 1: want to say it was like an elaborate scheme to

394
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,959
Speaker 1: keep people there longer, but I wouldn't be surprised if

395
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: it was. I'll just say that. So, you know what,

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00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 1: I want to ask you this question because you know,

397
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Speaker 1: living in New York City, and you've been in New

398
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,400
Speaker 1: York City for quite some time, especially since the the

399
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: pandemic happened, like it has gotten very dangerous outside, and

400
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: so what do you think that the city should do

401
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: for those because you don't I don't agree with involuntarily

402
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: doing something to get somebody's will, but you do want

403
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: to give them support and get them what the proper way.

404
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 1: So what do you recommend at the city doing in

405
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: that case? Yeah, I mean it's it's a big task,

406
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: but really just like getting people off the streets permanently,

407
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: you know, like not just temporarily in terms of making

408
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: sure that they're because like the thing about this new

409
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 1: agenda from Eric Adams is he is enforcing or allowing

410
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: the police to enforce their own you know, um mechanisms

411
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: to get people off the street even if they're not

412
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Speaker 1: harming anybody else. Because that's like the main reason why

413
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 1: I was picked up by the least in sixteen is

414
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: because they thought that I was a harm to myself

415
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: and to other people. So you know, they're saying like,

416
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: if you're exhibiting any kind of symptom that is not normal,

417
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,959
Speaker 1: quote unquote, we can pick you up and take you somewhere.

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Speaker 1: So that's what I have issued with because anybody could

419
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: be having a bad day and you know just like

420
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: go off or be crying or you know, people cry

421
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 1: on the train. I cried on the train so many times,

422
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like does that make stressed out? Yeah,

423
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: So to answer your question, um, I feel like you know,

424
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 1: the main thing is to just give these people real

425
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: long term support, and I feel like for some reason

426
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: that's the one thing that they can't get a grip

427
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: on um. And it doesn't just have to be like, well,

428
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: you know, give them an apartment for a year for

429
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: free or whatever. It's like, what are meaningful, like actual

430
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: practical things that we can do to help people, And

431
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: just based on the way that this whole country is

432
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: set up, it's not kind to people who don't have money.

433
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: And you know, even people who are like I want

434
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: to work, but people look at me and they see

435
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: a bum or they see a homeless person or whatever.

436
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: And I'm a person too. I wanna I want to work,

437
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: I want to have things. I want to have a

438
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: nice you know, living space and etcetera, etcetera. So, you know,

439
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: just like helping people to like take those steps to

440
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: get to that place, I think it's the most important

441
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: thing that could be done. And I think ever since

442
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: our last conversation, I often think about those individuals who

443
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: were wrongfully hospitalized because they are having a bad day.

444
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 1: I'm just like, wow, like that is so scary. It

445
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 1: is it's it's frightening, you know, it's it's sick um,

446
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: you know, not to like get on a soapbox about it,

447
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, where would I be. I mean,

448
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 1: I'm great for the my trajectory and everything that has

449
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: happened in my life. I'm very blessed and I'm very grateful,

450
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: But you know, I do wonder like if we had

451
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: different kinds of systems set up, if we had people

452
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 1: who were not afraid to just sit with a person

453
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: who's going through a mental health crisis for a day

454
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: or two days or three days or a week or whatever,

455
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: or change those people out or anything like that, instead

456
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: of just being like, Okay, we're gonna put you in

457
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: this hospital, we're gonna sedate you, which has happened to

458
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: me more than once because they didn't know what to

459
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: do with me, so they're just like we're gonna shut

460
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,479
Speaker 1: her up and sit her down. So it's like, instead

461
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: of taking that course of action, why not like be

462
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: with somebody and ask them, like, why are you going

463
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: through this crisis? What do you think is going on?

464
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: If they can't, yeah, talk to them. And that's a

465
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: big big thing about like my experiences with mental health

466
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: is or a mental health crisis is there's not much talking,

467
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,719
Speaker 1: you know, like if I if I talk to anybody,

468
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,959
Speaker 1: it's a psychiatrist and it's for five minutes tops. And

469
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: they asked me the general questions to kind of assess

470
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: my mood or figure out like if she's psychotic right now?

471
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,719
Speaker 1: Is she is she manic and she hypomanic? You know,

472
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: whatever the case may be. It's not it's so impersonal.

473
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 1: It's you know, like I thought, foolish me. I thought that,

474
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 1: you know, getting help for my mental health would encompass

475
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: like talk therapy. You know, I thought that I was

476
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 1: going to be able to talk to somebody about my issues,

477
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: about my life crisis or whatever. But it's really just

478
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: about like, Okay, you want to try this med or

479
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: this med, like you want an injection or do you

480
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 1: want pills? Like it's not really a conversation about how

481
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: are you doing? You know, like what trauma are you

482
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: working through? Because like when I had my first episode,

483
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: I had been in therapy for some months and I

484
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: was really uncovering a lot of trauma and discovering like

485
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: why do I feel so strongly about like my mother's

486
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: passing even though she died like ten years ago. At

487
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 1: that point, or something. So you know, it was like

488
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: I was uncovering all of these truths and I finally

489
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: sat down and it was like, damn, like I'm still

490
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: going through it. So you know, for me, it was

491
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: like I hit that breaking point of you know, I

492
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: am having a mental health crisis because I'm going through

493
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: all of this uncovering of trauma and all of these

494
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: situations and nobody. I'm almost certain that at that first hospital,

495
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: nobody asked me like have you been in therapy? You know,

496
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: like have you talked about your issues anything like that.

497
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 1: It was just like, all right, she's wilding out, let's sedata,

498
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: and then when she comes to let's try to like

499
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: figure out what kind of medication she wants to take,

500
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: does she have Medicaid? Does she have a way to

501
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: pay for this day? You know, it was like it

502
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: was not about like me, It was about all the

503
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: little tentacles around me that they could profit from. M

504
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah that is hard breaking, Yeah, it really is. Yeah,

505
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: And I just I don't know because I feel like

506
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: it's obvious of the things that need to be changed

507
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: within these facilities, but like what do you think that

508
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: will ever happen? Like a change will come Um, if

509
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: one does, it will be a very slow process. Um.

510
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't know what what it's going to take. If

511
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: it's like from a presidential level or a state level

512
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: or you know, government whatever. I don't know who is

513
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: on top of making this change. But there has to

514
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: be like a very thorough sweeping across the board of

515
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: like every facility has to be checked out. Every staff

516
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: member who is on call for any given night has

517
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: to be checked out to be sure that are you

518
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: here for the right reasons? Are you just here to

519
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: collect the check? Like And that's the case for a

520
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: lot of people who work in these facilities that I've experienced.

521
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: Is they just want they want the money, or they

522
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: want the proximity to you know, like uh or I

523
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: don't know how to explain it, but basically they just

524
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: want to live a good life. And you know, I've

525
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: seen the cars that they drive. My sister told me,

526
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: like every time she visited Yeah, every time she visited

527
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: me in the last hospital that I was in in October,

528
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: she was like, I see the cars they drive there.

529
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: Not they ain't making chump change, Like it's not. And

530
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if this just depends on where the

531
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: where you're located or whatever. Even I remember like, um,

532
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: when the first hospital that I was in, Um, you know,

533
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: there was this guy that worked there and he had

534
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: like his Audie keys, like he was like about yes, yes, absolutely.

535
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: So it's like these people are not suffering for cash,

536
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 1: but at the same time, they're not exactly there because

537
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: they want to be there or they want to make

538
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: a difference or they want to help there were it

539
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,959
Speaker 1: is and there. I'm not gonna say everybody, because in

540
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 1: each hospital I feel there was at least one person

541
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: that would that I could tell was there because it

542
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: was in heart to be there. But for the most part,

543
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: most of the staff that I dealt with like we're

544
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: sour pusses, Like they didn't want to show up, Like

545
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: they were just like I'm here because I have to

546
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: be here, you know, and they would give me attitude.

547
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: I'd give them attitude back, you know. So it was like,

548
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: it's just very clear that some of these people are

549
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: not in it for the right reason. So that's another

550
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: thing that I would say would need to take places,

551
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: just like an evaluation of the people who are signing

552
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: up for these shops because they have to be certified

553
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: to be yeah, I'm pretty sure. I don't know much

554
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: about how they do that, but yeah, like the people

555
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: like the nurses anyway, obviously have to be certified, but

556
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: they have what they call text like t e c HS,

557
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: like a like a help exactly exactly. Yeah, so they

558
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: have text and I don't think they have to be certified.

559
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: If they do, it's like probably a very easy process.

560
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: But the people that I have interacted with who are

561
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: texts are just any motherfucker off the street, you know.

562
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: It's just like people just yeah, people just like you know,

563
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: and it's like they don't like some of the people.

564
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: And again I'm not trying to be generalizing here, but

565
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: some of the people that I've dealt with like have

566
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: egos and they go on power trips and they feel

567
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: like because in these four walls or this hallway or whatever,

568
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: like they have power, they like to exert that power.

569
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: And yeah, I had a situation where actually in two

570
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: separate hospitals UM, I was like taken to the isolation

571
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: room because I was being too rambunctious or whatever and

572
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: the isolation Yeah yeah, um, so the first time it

573
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: happened was in and it was in this all women's

574
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,719
Speaker 1: UM you know, facility, and there was this woman who

575
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm still friends with to this day. We actually, um

576
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: keep in touch. We've like, we've gone a brunch, we've

577
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: got a concert together. Yeah it was She's an amazing person.

578
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 1: Shout out to her. But um, yeah we um. I

579
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: was there and she was brought in and she was

580
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: just crying and crying and crying, and nobody was consoling her.

581
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: Nobody was asking her what was up again, nobody really

582
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: having that personable nature that you need to work in

583
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: a place like that. So I was like, why is

584
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,239
Speaker 1: nobody helping her? And somebody like at Tech got my

585
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: face and he was like, you know, go in your

586
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: room like this doesn't concern you. And then I've gotten

587
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: his face and then get my face, nigga legs, use

588
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: the funk out of me. So yeah, I got right

589
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: back in his face and then he took me to

590
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: the ground and dragged me to the isolation room. And

591
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: I was only in there for maybe like thirty minutes

592
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: for an hour, um, but it was still like damn

593
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't like your traditional padded room. It was

594
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: the floors were definitely bouncier then your typical linoleum or whatever.

595
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: But it wasn't like, you know, the white padding. I

596
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: wasn't in a straight jacket. It wasn't anything like that.

597
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: It was just like, okay, girl, you want to act up,

598
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: are going to go in here for a bit. So,

599
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: you know, they locked the door, and I remember being

600
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: in there and wondering all these manic thoughts and you know,

601
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 1: like maybe my identity changed, Maybe they don't know who

602
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 1: I am, you know, like random ship. So um, yeah,

603
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: they finally let me out, and then her, she and

604
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: I you know, started to like kind of talk a

605
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: little bit, and you know, after we were released, we

606
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,439
Speaker 1: became friends. And that's how that story went. So yeah.

607
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: And then the latest time, the second time that I

608
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: was in putting an isolation room, I was talking to

609
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: my grandmother on the phone. And I have a very

610
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: complex relationship with her, and um, I guess I was

611
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: like not being kind to her. I was probably cussing

612
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: her out for some ship she did decades ago. I

613
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 1: don't know, but um one of the texts was like,

614
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 1: you can't talk to your grandma that way, and I

615
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 1: was like, who the funk are you to tell me

616
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: I'm talking to Mike? Yeah, so like I hung up

617
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: the phone and like he was just like telling me,

618
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: you know what I shouldn't shouldn't be doing. And I

619
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: was like, bro, if you don't, if you don't, shut

620
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: up and get out of my face, and I guess

621
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: you like it is every time it's it's I feel

622
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: like it's rarely the women who work in facilities who

623
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: want to act up, because I guess it's because they

624
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 1: know that like we can actually fight fight, but like

625
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: you know, but the men, for some reason, they're the

626
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,919
Speaker 1: ones who are like ready to like go, and so

627
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: it very much is. So this particular tech, you know,

628
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: he like grabbed me, put me in a chokehold and

629
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: like put like you know, took me to the isolation

630
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: room and there was another male tech who was in

631
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: there as well, and like they were just like trying

632
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: to hold me down and like having in the show

633
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: holding ship, and I was like, I'm not trying to

634
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: die up in here. So I just started screw I

635
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: just like trigger warning. I was just screaming right right

636
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: right because I was like I'm getting out of this ship.

637
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: I'm not about to be choked to death in no

638
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: fucking hospital, expects with two niggas, and yeah, exactly, So

639
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I supposed to do aside and

640
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: get out of this situation. So the nurse who was

641
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: on duty like came running in because she heard me screaming.

642
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: And then finally they were just like, okay, well we'll

643
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: get up, but you gotta stay here for like a day.

644
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: They were they were not happy with me at all,

645
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: but yeah, so moving forward me like it was too

646
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 1: There were two black guys to the two texts, and

647
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: one of them would try to like be friendly with

648
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 1: me after that, and I was like, I have nothing

649
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: to say to you, and the other one just like,

650
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: we'll give me my snacks and going about his business.

651
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: So you know, it was just like it's such a

652
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 1: weird dynamic of you know, especially these people who don't

653
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 1: have all the training in the world when it comes

654
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: to how to deal with mental health patients. But yeah,

655
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: it's a trip. And also you I was reading your

656
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: article and you were talking about the conditions of the

657
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: hospital and you were not talking about how you and

658
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: your felt like I was eating dog food. Oh I guess, yes, yes,

659
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, So that was the first place

660
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: I know, I'm like jumping from experience to experience, but

661
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: it's all the same really. But yeah, the first place,

662
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: in the second place terrible food. It was awful, But

663
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 1: the last two places not bad, you know. But um

664
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: the first one, I literally would eat bread and drink

665
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 1: milk like that's all I ate and I lost so

666
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: much weight it was crazy. But um, yeah, it was

667
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 1: just like it was just they you could tell like

668
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: some of the things they just like like the snacks

669
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 1: they would have like PB and J sandwiches, and then

670
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: you could like taste the freezer burn on it. You know.

671
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: It was like they were just doing whatever they wanted

672
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: to do and the actual meals were just like they

673
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: just looked like slop. It was gross. And the guy

674
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 1: that I became close to at that facility, he's the

675
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 1: one that was like, Yo, this is dog food. Fuck this.

676
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, be quiet, like

677
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: we have to eat this, and you know he was like, no,

678
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't have to stay quiet in this bitch,

679
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 1: Like what are you talking about. So yeah, he taught

680
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: me a lot, but um, yeah, it was two of

681
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: the four places it was not a good experience with

682
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: the food, but the other two places it was like

683
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 1: who's decent? M And you also talked about the lack

684
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 1: of hair products, and I'm like, oh, wow, I didn't

685
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: you didn't even think about things like that so important,

686
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: especially to women of color. Yes, yes, ma'am, Oh my god,

687
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 1: it's so Yeah. The first hospital, I was obviously not

688
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: expecting to stay there, and um, you know, like my

689
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 1: hair was a mess when I got out, and I

690
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: ended up having to get like an undercut that I

691
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 1: still have today and that was like six years ago.

692
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: So um, yeah, it was just like and I couldn't

693
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 1: afford a lot of hair, y'all. Yes, it's my puppet's puppet, um,

694
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,240
Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, I didn't at that point. I couldn't

695
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: afford to like go to a hair salon and have

696
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: somebody tease out all those tangles. So I did the

697
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: best I could, and then um, my brother's friend just

698
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: like cut up the back where I couldn't really to

699
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 1: tangle it. And yeah, the second experience, I just happened

700
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 1: to get my hair flat out, flat ironed um shortly

701
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: before I was hospitalized, So I just kept it up

702
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: in a bun and I didn't wash it for I

703
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 1: think I was there for about them yea, four weeks

704
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: I was there, so, um, that's how I did that.

705
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: And then the third day I had my hair and

706
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: a natural puff, and it was it got a little tangled,

707
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: you know, towards the end, but luckily I was able

708
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 1: to afford a hairstylist or a salon visit. So I

709
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: told them, you know, like I just got at the hospital,

710
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 1: if you can help me, and they were very tender

711
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: and caring. And then the last one, um, this black

712
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: woman actually, um, she saw me when I first came

713
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: in and I had my hair in a natural puff

714
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: again and and I guess she knew that I was

715
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 1: gonna be there for a minute, so she just took

716
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 1: the time to braid my hair for me, like in

717
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 1: the hospital. And that was like one of the most

718
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: touching things that anybody could have done, because as you

719
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 1: were saying, like the products are scarce as it is,

720
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 1: like some of the facilities they just give you like

721
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: body wash and stay wash her hair with this, and

722
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, you do not understand, like that's not gonna

723
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: work for me. So she, you know, she kind of

724
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: understood that I needed some help in that moment, and

725
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: she sat me down. I know, I wish I knew

726
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: her name. I wish I did, But I saw her

727
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: towards the end of that stay and I was like,

728
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: and she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how are you?

729
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: You know, obviously I was doing better, not quite a

730
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: hundred percent, but I was better. And she was just

731
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: like telling me, like, you know, just focus on taking

732
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: care of yourself and everything. And I just thanked her

733
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: for what she did. So yeah, that's how that played

734
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: out for those four separate stays. And during our last conversation,

735
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: you share your thoughts on being sedated. So I was

736
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: doing some research on sedation and there are a lot

737
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: of cases where patients were included in clinical trials and

738
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: didn't know it, and some institutions were not authorized to

739
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 1: do so. So when you hear stories like this, how

740
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: does that make you feel? Honestly, it doesn't surprise me.

741
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: It really doesn't. It's it's fucking frustrating because that's bullshit. Like,

742
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: this is the thing about mental health and mental illness.

743
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 1: Nobody knows the right answer, you know, nobody. Nobody has

744
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 1: a magic pill, nobody has a magic injection. This ship

745
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,359
Speaker 1: is complicated and it's different for everybody. It's a big

746
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: guessing game. It's all experimentation. So when I hear something

747
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: like that that hospitals and facilities and institutions are literally

748
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 1: taking people like treating them like guinea pigs and being like, oh,

749
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: let's see how this works on this person. You know,

750
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're doing it on black people. People are exactly,

751
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 1: you know they are. So yeah, it's just like it's

752
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: extremely disheartening because it just takes away your your autonomy,

753
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 1: your agency, and it doesn't they don't ask you like

754
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: would you like to be a part of this trial?

755
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,760
Speaker 1: Of course, not like that's why they don't ask, I'm sure,

756
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: but you know, the health effects they're gonna have on

757
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: you in the long run, Like that's a scary part,

758
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:23,399
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. It's really wild. It's it's you would think

759
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: that in almost at this point that we would have

760
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 1: a better grip on how we treat people and how

761
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: we construct these trials in order to get better information

762
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: about how a drug may or may not work. But

763
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 1: we're still honestly stuck in some of those older eras

764
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: where it's like, you know, like the Tuskegee experiment, you know,

765
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: like where they just like I didn't tell people the

766
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 1: truth or you know, like it's just it's just it's

767
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: not just like that, because obviously that was completely awful

768
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 1: and terrible and life threatening. But we don't know what, yeah, exactly,

769
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: we don't know what these drugs are gonna do. Like,

770
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,760
Speaker 1: we don't like I was allergic to the first medication

771
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 1: I ever got from my mental health and it gave

772
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 1: me like a full body rash and I was just

773
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 1: dealing with it and I didn't know, Like I went

774
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: to hospitals doctors like they were like, well, we can't

775
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: do this until we have this person's approval, and then

776
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 1: they would say we can't do this without this person's approval.

777
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 1: So I was just like I was like, well, fuck it,

778
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop taking the meds. And I did, and

779
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 1: then I ended up being hospitalized the second time. So

780
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: you know, like I said, it's just a big experiment.

781
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 1: Nobody knows what the right or wrong answer is. It's

782
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 1: just like, let's do this and hope for the best,

783
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: or let's do this and we'll just see what happens

784
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 1: to this person. They might not even hope for the best, right,

785
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: So what would you say would be an alternative for

786
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: being sedated? M because I don't think sedation that that's

787
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: just crazy to me. Yeah, be a different way for

788
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: you to be able to calm somebody down exactly, Um

789
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: out what's an alternative? Um? I mean, you know, like

790
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 1: I said isolation rooms earlier. Um, They're not perfect, but

791
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: it does give people a chance to kind of exhaust

792
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: themselves to the point where they can naturally calm down

793
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: and yeah, possibly remember because there are so many weeks

794
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,240
Speaker 1: of my life that I don't remember because I was sedated.

795
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: So you know, it's just like, how can we do

796
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 1: this in a humane way? You know? And you know,

797
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: whether that be like, like I said earlier, having a

798
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 1: designated person to sit down with folks and be like,

799
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: what are you going through? What issues have you recently

800
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: you know, excavated from your past, Like what have you

801
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: been through? What are you going through? What will you

802
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 1: go through? Anything like that I feel would be more

803
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 1: helpful than just injecting somebody and hoping they shut down

804
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: right and labatamies. Oh my god, yo, that I couldn't

805
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: imagine meet what that ship is crazy? Like, how is that?

806
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 1: How how can you do that? How can you perform that?

807
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 1: In the state? Is okay with that. Yeah, it's I

808
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 1: don't girl, it's it's a lot. Even just again talking

809
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: about on one floor over the Cuckoos, that ship was wild.

810
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, lobotomies, it's like some horror movie ship. You know.

811
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,879
Speaker 1: It's like it doesn't make any sense. Um. You also

812
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: to take me out, Yeah, exactly, exactly, Like I would

813
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 1: rather not deal with the effects of something so severe,

814
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: like you want people to be saying quote unquote that

815
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: bad that you're willing to literally do that to someone

816
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: and just like be like, oh, well we tried, or

817
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like, what the It's crazy,

818
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: It's really crazy. Oh my god. So Thanksgiving just past

819
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago, and I saw on one of

820
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: your TikTok videos that you spent Thanksgiving a few years

821
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 1: ago doing one of your days. Well, how far you came?

822
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: How does it make you feel? Man? Um? It makes

823
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: me feel very proud? Um, you know. I that was

824
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: I remember that day, Um, talking to my family and

825
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: a couple of friends and over the phone and just

826
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 1: being like, I miss you all, wish I could spend

827
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 1: time with y'all, you know, and it was just like damn,

828
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm in this bitch like again, you know,

829
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: so you know it granted it was a different facility,

830
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 1: but still like being like institutionalized remains the same across

831
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: the board. But yeah, I'm very happy that, you know,

832
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: even though my Thanksgiving was a bit on the complicated side,

833
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: I was free, you know, and I was able to

834
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: like spend it with my my sister and my loved one,

835
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 1: um and just you know, be able to really appreciate

836
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: what I have and how far I've come, because it's

837
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: been a journey. It has been one child, ain't it.

838
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: Every time? Every time it's like alright, I made it

839
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 1: through that stage, Let's get to the next stage. And

840
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: then you make it to the next stage. It's like

841
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,919
Speaker 1: it's always something progressive, you know, hopefully progressive. So yeah,

842
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm very happy that I, you know, am now past

843
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 1: three years of not having had an episode. So I

844
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: pray and I hope and I wish that you know,

845
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 1: on this path. Thank you, thank you, um, you know,

846
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: and that's that's the hope. Yes, And if someone is

847
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: considering checking themselves in, what is the advice you would

848
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: give to them? Research where you're going? Um, yes, that's

849
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: the utmost importance you have to figure out if you

850
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:50,399
Speaker 1: do feel like you need extended help. Figure out Number one,

851
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: is there a facility that is UM not a hospital?

852
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 1: You know, like because I think of the three of

853
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 1: three of the four places I say aid were psych

854
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 1: wards in an overall hospital, and then one of them

855
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 1: was like a facility facility that was specifically for mental

856
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: health purposes. So that was my favorite one because they

857
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: had the equipment, they had the space, they had mostly

858
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 1: the staff that was willing to be there for that reason.

859
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: So I really enjoyed, not enjoyed, but you know that

860
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: was the place that caused me them. Yeah, exactly. You know,

861
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: so research where you're gonna go, and you know, figure

862
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: out like does an inpatient Oh does an inpatient experience

863
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 1: work for you? Because some people may need outpatient help,

864
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: you know, where you just like talk to a therapist,

865
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 1: or you consider going to to a psychiatrist for medication purposes,

866
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: anything like that you can do in outpatient. But if

867
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: you really think you need to be in patient, research

868
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 1: where you're going and try to figure out like are

869
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: they going to hold you, you know for longer than

870
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: you anticipate? UM, Because I had another person close to

871
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: me earlier this year going through a crisis, and you know,

872
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: we tried to find them help, and we couldn't find

873
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 1: anywhere that wasn't going to like hold them for an

874
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 1: extended amount of time. And they had to like get

875
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: get things going. They're about to start a new, you know,

876
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 1: position at work and they were just trying to get

877
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: their head together, and you know, we couldn't find any

878
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 1: place like that. So, you know, if there are any

879
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,320
Speaker 1: kinds of facilities that are specifically for mental health, I

880
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: would say opt for those. But if not, then at

881
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 1: least research the hospital that has the slack wards or

882
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 1: wings and figure out, like, you know, would this be

883
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 1: conducive to my health? Would this be a purposeful experience,

884
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 1: because sometimes they do more harm than good. So you know,

885
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 1: just make sure that the place you're going to is

886
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: actually for the greater good. You better off just being

887
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 1: on the street trying to figure it out. And we

888
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:05,719
Speaker 1: know we've already talked about that, so yeah, it's just yeah,

889
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: some of these places are made for made for the

890
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 1: benefit of its patients, and some of these places are

891
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 1: made for the benefit of the people who are making money.

892
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 1: So you know, you just gotta be real smart and

893
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: real intentional about how you go about finding the right place,

894
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,959
Speaker 1: and I'm just curious, does insurance take care of this? Yes,

895
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 1: so yeah, insurance does um to an extent. Like one

896
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: of the places I stayed, it was like it was

897
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: a crazy amount of money. It was like hundreds of

898
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars and I was like, I can't pay that,

899
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: you know, so like insurance covered a portion portion of it.

900
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: But then um, I was able to get it down

901
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 1: to like a thousands of the dollars. So it really

902
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 1: like if if you're willing to work with them, they

903
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,399
Speaker 1: can help you figure out a payment system. But yeah,

904
00:50:55,480 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 1: for the most part, it's not cheap to like be hospitalized. Um.

905
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: I think one time or the first time, I think

906
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: I was on a medicaid um, so that helped a lot.

907
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's it's not a cheap thing to do. Right.

908
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: As always, I really appreciate speaking to you. I can't

909
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: believe that hour already flew by, child. I know I

910
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: was looking at the time, like for real, I know

911
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: we both look at like damn man. I feel like

912
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: I just cannot wait for you to share more of

913
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: your story because I know you have such an inspiring story.

914
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: Just from you telling us about your experience at the

915
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: age of eight, and I was like, wow, I wasn't

916
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 1: even expecting that. So I've forward to your your second

917
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 1: book that's coming out. Thank you. You have fingers crossed.

918
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: That's like, that's the next time my to do list.

919
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 1: I really want to write a memoir, so you should

920
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: or you should show us something exactly. Oh yeah, because

921
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 1: I just feel like we need a lot of sensation

922
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,919
Speaker 1: when it comes to topics like this, and I think

923
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,399
Speaker 1: people really need to feel seen so they can notice

924
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 1: will be okay because your story is just such a

925
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 1: beautiful story. Thank you. I really appreciate that, of course,

926
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: of course, and that's set, y'all. So if y'all have

927
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 1: any questions coming to the service, please make sure to

928
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: email me at Hello at the PhD podcast dot com.

929
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,479
Speaker 1: And until next time, everyone, Later, by y'all,