Speaker 1: Fitting in is something that I think. It's not that deep.
Speaker 1: You guys. I wish I could go back to like
Speaker 1: my high school reunion and all those people that were
Speaker 1: mean the guys. It's like, hey, look look at me now.
Speaker 1: If there's any advice that I can give you guys
Speaker 1: when it comes to relationship, is really giving yourself the
Speaker 1: time to heal between relationships. That's what it's about. Living
Speaker 1: your life with intent. It's finding your who before you
Speaker 1: find your way because we all have a purpose. We
Speaker 1: all have a mission of godly purpose here on earth.
Speaker 1: What up, guys, Thank you for dropping by the Cheekese
Speaker 1: and Choll podcast today. I'm going to be coming to
Speaker 1: you as Jana, not as Cheeky's. That's because I'll be
Speaker 1: a dishing out some big sister advice, which is something
Speaker 1: I wish I had when I was younger. So pull
Speaker 1: back your hair, they're on, some comfortable clothes, and maybe
Speaker 1: even for yourself something to drink, because we're going to
Speaker 1: get raw, real and relaxed. This is Cheeky's and Too.
Speaker 1: This episode is dedicated to anyone in their teens, twenties,
Speaker 1: or even thirties. Look, life can be really complicated and
Speaker 1: there are a lot of things I wish I knew
Speaker 1: when I was younger. When I was thinking about putting
Speaker 1: together this episode, I was thinking about some of the
Speaker 1: lessons I've learned and the mistakes I've made along the way,
Speaker 1: and I want to share some of those things with
Speaker 1: you so you don't have to learn the hard way.
Speaker 1: Let's start with our teenage years. Trying to fit in.
Speaker 1: It's a huge thing in school. It's what's trending, what's cool.
Speaker 1: What shoes does that person have on. If I don't
Speaker 1: have those shoes, I'm not cool. If I'm not wearing
Speaker 1: the right clothes. I wish I would have known that
Speaker 1: that stuff is so not important because a lot of
Speaker 1: the people that you meet in school, in junior high,
Speaker 1: in high school, a lot of those people aren't in
Speaker 1: your life for a long time. I mean maybe in
Speaker 1: your case there is, but in my life, I look
Speaker 1: back and I'm like the people that I was worried about.
Speaker 1: There was this one girl that I was kind of
Speaker 1: like obsessed with that she was just so pretty, she
Speaker 1: had the perfect hair, she had like I feel like
Speaker 1: everything in her life was perfect, and I was low
Speaker 1: key obsessed, and her life turned out to be completely different.
Speaker 1: She was very mean. She was a mean girl to me.
Speaker 1: But if I would have known, like, dude, it doesn't
Speaker 1: even matter what you think about me. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if I do have like I mean, I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: We had I had to go to pay Let's to
Speaker 1: get my shoes. The kids were wearing felis. Fela's were
Speaker 1: like the thing back then, and I had La gears,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, with the little lights, and
Speaker 1: it just wasn't the cool thing. But now I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wish I could go back to like my high
Speaker 1: school reunion and all those people that were mean, the guys.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, look look at me now, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like fitting in is something that I think.
Speaker 1: It's not that deep, you guys, if you really think
Speaker 1: about it. All right, Well, anyways, let's talk about an
Speaker 1: important topic, which is sex. Okay, and this is a
Speaker 1: lot of adult content, so just you know, FYI anyone
Speaker 1: that's under eighteen, and you guys know I'm always very
Speaker 1: open and transparent with you guys. So when I had
Speaker 1: my first official boyfriend, I was sixteen, thank god. He
Speaker 1: was a very nice guy, and he was two years
Speaker 1: older than me, but he never pressured me into doing
Speaker 1: anything I didn't want to do, which was awesome. But
Speaker 1: you got to be careful with those guys, okay, especially
Speaker 1: during that age sixteen seventeen eighteen in high school. Like
Speaker 1: a lot of these boys, not saying all of them,
Speaker 1: A lot of these boys want to have sex, even girls. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that just boys, but even girls. You
Speaker 1: guys have to be very careful with that and make
Speaker 1: sure that you are dating someone that's going to respect
Speaker 1: your boundaries and respect your private parts, especially if you
Speaker 1: are not ready. And I personally wouldn't recommend having sex
Speaker 1: until like your twenties personally, but if you've already had sex,
Speaker 1: or if you did, I did things here and there.
Speaker 1: You know, we messed around when I was sixteen seventeen.
Speaker 1: I was too scared to like kind of go all
Speaker 1: the way because I want my mom to find out,
Speaker 1: you know, I wanted my mom to think I was
Speaker 1: a vision forever. But then when I had my boyfriend
Speaker 1: at nineteen, which was Hector, I've talked about him here
Speaker 1: on the pod. He was my mom's teddy bear or whatever. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I was dating him for about four years and that
Speaker 1: became more of a serious relationship and it was different.
Speaker 1: But you guys, the advice that I have as a
Speaker 1: big sister is don't let anyone pressure you into something
Speaker 1: that you don't want to do. Don't feel that you
Speaker 1: need to have sex because it's the cool thing to do.
Speaker 1: I feel totally okay with Junior and Hector. I felt
Speaker 1: like they were respectful boys and my mom approved, so
Speaker 1: that made me feel a little bit more safe. But
Speaker 1: you guys, if I can tell you anything, if you
Speaker 1: start having sex early, even if you don't want to
Speaker 1: talk to your mom about it, because I know it's
Speaker 1: a delicate subject and sometimes we're embarrassed and we want
Speaker 1: our parents to think that, you know, we would never
Speaker 1: you know, it's a natural thing that happens. Make sure
Speaker 1: you go to the clinic and get yourself on birth control.
Speaker 1: If you're not ready to have kids or use a condom,
Speaker 1: use a condom why because everyone's like, oh, it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel the same. But especially if you're young, you still
Speaker 1: have a lot to learn. You still have a lot
Speaker 1: of things that you got to like figure out. So
Speaker 1: if you want to have a kid, that's your prerogative. Fine,
Speaker 1: But Also, there's STDs out there, you guys. There's HPV.
Speaker 1: There are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases that you
Speaker 1: need to take care of yourself. So make sure you
Speaker 1: wrap it, you know, wear a hat to the party,
Speaker 1: get on birth control, and go to a clinic and
Speaker 1: ask questions and do that whole thing. I wish I
Speaker 1: would have done that, because I talked about it here
Speaker 1: on the podcast on Cheeks and Chill as well. I
Speaker 1: was pregnant at nineteen. My mom never found out, and
Speaker 1: I wish I would have gotten myself on birth control,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because I wasn't ready to
Speaker 1: have a baby, and even though I had a miscarriage,
Speaker 1: still like my body went through so much and I
Speaker 1: felt like I could have prevented that and it was
Speaker 1: just a very difficult time and have to go through
Speaker 1: it alone because I wasn't telling my mom. I told
Speaker 1: one friend and one aunt and that was it. So
Speaker 1: that's just you know a little something there, a little
Speaker 1: side note for you guys, and just talking about like
Speaker 1: my situation and also as a second mother to my siblings.
Speaker 1: My mom was very open later on in my life,
Speaker 1: not when I was younger. I think it was just
Speaker 1: a little very foreign. And as I got older and
Speaker 1: she did find out I was having sex and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, she became a lot more open, especially with
Speaker 1: like my other siblings and with Mikey, Like if Mikey
Speaker 1: went out with his friends, she'd be like, make sure
Speaker 1: you if you do the hanky panky, make sure you
Speaker 1: wear a condom, you know. And I kind of got
Speaker 1: like that humor, very serious, but with a little bit
Speaker 1: of like, you know, humor behind it. With Johnny and Jenica,
Speaker 1: who I basically raised, you know, and I was very open.
Speaker 1: And that's something that as parents. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: have children of my own, but I raised my siblings,
Speaker 1: so I consider myself a parent. I feel like we
Speaker 1: need to be more comfortable with having those type of conversations,
Speaker 1: open conversations with our children about birth control, a protection,
Speaker 1: about everything and anything, especially about your private parts, about
Speaker 1: taking care of them and making sure no one touches
Speaker 1: you there and it's not okay if it's a certain
Speaker 1: someone or you know what I mean, like having those
Speaker 1: conversations because in our culture, I feel that it's still
Speaker 1: very much taboo, a little more with the older generation,
Speaker 1: but like the younger moms. I do see it happening
Speaker 1: a little bit more. I see it with my sister
Speaker 1: as well. She talks to you know, my nieces about
Speaker 1: that and about how to protect themselves their privates and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. And I did that with my siblings,
Speaker 1: Johnny and Jenica, and I talked to them about sex
Speaker 1: very early on and when Johnny was young, and especially
Speaker 1: with Janica too, like I would change in front of them,
Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with that, because I don't want
Speaker 1: them to feel like, oh my gosh. Imagine he's fifteen
Speaker 1: and he sees a pair of boobs for the first time.
Speaker 1: He wasn't shocked. He was like, oh, okay, those are boobs.
Speaker 1: Are right cool, like to get familiar with, like the
Speaker 1: feminine body and you know, the masculine body, Like there's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. So I was very open and
Speaker 1: all of it. I've been through it with both of them,
Speaker 1: with all of them, actually with Mikey, we're all very open.
Speaker 1: We're very open family. We talk about do you know,
Speaker 1: personal things, intimate things. But I think that that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: When I have my own kids, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to them about all of it. I think that's why
Speaker 1: God made me a big sister because I love it,
Speaker 1: like I want to prevent my siblings, my children, you guys,
Speaker 1: my listeners from making the same mistakes I made. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the next topic I want to bring up is
Speaker 1: social media because it's almost impossible for teens not to
Speaker 1: be exposed to it. When I was growing up, it
Speaker 1: didn't exist, but now it's everywhere, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure to look a certain way and to post
Speaker 1: certain things. Ugh. And I'm telling you, guys, even as
Speaker 1: a grown ass woman, I sometimes still feel the pressures
Speaker 1: of having to post and having to say hello, and
Speaker 1: I forgot or I forget sometimes because again, I'm very
Speaker 1: like adamant about balancing my life between my personal and
Speaker 1: my career and my socials. But there are times when
Speaker 1: I feel that pressure of like I need to quote
Speaker 1: unquote fit in into social media. And I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1: When I talk to like my goddaughter who just turned fifteen,
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, this is what's cool right now,
Speaker 1: this is what everyone's listening to, Like, oh, that song
Speaker 1: isn't in anymore. And I'm just like, you guys are
Speaker 1: something so amazing that you guys are missing about individuality
Speaker 1: of like really loving who you are and being unique.
Speaker 1: I now enjoy standing out and doing things that are
Speaker 1: different and taking risks and not necessarily following the pattern
Speaker 1: that everyone else is. I kind of want to like
Speaker 1: dance and walk and march at the beat of my
Speaker 1: own drum. I wish I would have known this when
Speaker 1: I was younger. And now with social media, like, I'm
Speaker 1: very like, uh wait, I'm kind of getting stuck in
Speaker 1: the rat race of social media, and I got to
Speaker 1: step back a little bit and I will take my breaks, Like,
Speaker 1: let me not get on social media this entire weekend.
Speaker 1: I need a break. My mind needs a break, my
Speaker 1: spirit needs a break. I need to go on a hike.
Speaker 1: I need to read a book. I need to go
Speaker 1: and touch the trees and smell the roses, and I
Speaker 1: don't know, like go freaking rub my feet, my bare
Speaker 1: feet on the grass. I get grounded with earth. You guys,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how old you are. I mean I
Speaker 1: see older, older women stuck on the computer on Facebook
Speaker 1: talking shit, and I'm like, what if it's not something
Speaker 1: nice and you're not feeding someone something nice? And words
Speaker 1: of life on social media like do yourself a favor
Speaker 1: and just stay away. So that's that social media. Now
Speaker 1: let's move on to education. To college. Education is something
Speaker 1: I've always always been an advocate of because it's knowledge
Speaker 1: is power, you guys. It's something that no one can
Speaker 1: ever take away from you. And I didn't go to college.
Speaker 1: I did like Bartending school and little courses here and there.
Speaker 1: I did Asthetician school. So I did courses and that
Speaker 1: made me happy, and I'm so glad that I did that.
Speaker 1: I do feel that college and education, even if you
Speaker 1: don't go, you know, and get a whole ass degree,
Speaker 1: I think just diving into something, whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you are into, is very important. And I'm telling you
Speaker 1: this from personal experience. When I was asked to move
Speaker 1: out of my mom's house at twenty six, I had
Speaker 1: just dedicated my entire life to my mom, to my siblings.
Speaker 1: I knew nothing else. So when life and God in
Speaker 1: the universe made me step back and say, okay, well,
Speaker 1: now you have all this time on your hands in
Speaker 1: that moment, and I don't regret everything that I did
Speaker 1: because I learned so much. I always say I went
Speaker 1: to the University of Hard Knock Life, and my professor
Speaker 1: was Jenny Rivera, and I had a great professor and
Speaker 1: I learned a lot. But in that moment, when I
Speaker 1: was twenty six, I had no job. I had really
Speaker 1: no responsibilities because I was taking care of my siblings
Speaker 1: and the home, my mom's home, and I was just like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: now what do I do with my life? And I
Speaker 1: did wish in that moment I would have gone to college.
Speaker 1: I wish it was pushed on me a little more
Speaker 1: because my mom didn't really think that education was important.
Speaker 1: And that's okay, that's her and she went to college.
Speaker 1: The crazy thing is that my mom was a straight
Speaker 1: A student. She was validictorian of her class. I mean,
Speaker 1: went to college, got her associates degree. But she wasn't
Speaker 1: huge on telling us to go to college. She's like,
Speaker 1: you don't really need it, don't worry. Like you're a businesswoman.
Speaker 1: And I am grateful because I am. My first love
Speaker 1: was being an entrepreneur, and I had the privilege and
Speaker 1: the blessing to be able to help my mom and
Speaker 1: her businesses and build her businesses and learn. But what
Speaker 1: if imagine if I would have gone to college for business,
Speaker 1: I would have prevented myself from making so many mistakes
Speaker 1: and learning the hard way, so it's never too late.
Speaker 1: I feel to go to school. There's no shame learning
Speaker 1: something for yourself, for your future, something you could put
Speaker 1: under your belt. I think is beautiful, wonderful. You have
Speaker 1: nothing to lose, if anything, everything to gain. Let's move
Speaker 1: on to our twenties. Let's start with relationships. I've had
Speaker 1: my fair share of experiences. I've dated, I've been in situationships. Yeah, situationships.
Speaker 1: I've also been in relationships, and I've been married. That
Speaker 1: was in my thirties. But we're still going to get
Speaker 1: into it here. Okay, what can I tell you. I'm
Speaker 1: somewhat of a serial monogamous. I do better in a
Speaker 1: monogamous relationship. I just enjoy it. I like having a companion.
Speaker 1: I like having a partner. And it's been a good
Speaker 1: and a bad thing because I think in between relationships,
Speaker 1: I haven't given myself enough time to heal and I
Speaker 1: haven't really been alone for a long time. You guys,
Speaker 1: I was either talking to someone and it was a situationship,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't like we're together together. But we're cool
Speaker 1: and we do have fun, but there's not that responsibility
Speaker 1: or that title of boyfriend and girlfriend, which honestly suck.
Speaker 1: It wasn't my thing especially, and I talked about this
Speaker 1: here on the podcast about a guy named Surgil. I
Speaker 1: think it was on my Valentine's Day episode. Go back
Speaker 1: and listen to that. But he was a very situationship
Speaker 1: situation and it sucked. So I would avoid that at
Speaker 1: all costs. If the person is not on the same
Speaker 1: page with you, just don't even go there unless you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is just sex, We're cool. Don't call me, I
Speaker 1: don't call you, We'll just hook up once in a while. Cool.
Speaker 1: I've never been able to be that type of girl.
Speaker 1: I just don't know how to do it. So I've
Speaker 1: always been in a relationship. But I can say the
Speaker 1: first two serious relationships I had in my younger years
Speaker 1: and did mainly because of it was my fault. I
Speaker 1: just was too wrapped up into like my family and
Speaker 1: doing my own thing that I feel like I didn't
Speaker 1: give the relationship the respect and the time that it required.
Speaker 1: But also in my adult years, I've had two other
Speaker 1: now my third with a media you know, serious relationships,
Speaker 1: and the two that I had before this one with
Speaker 1: Emilio without saying any names. It was an emotional roller coaster,
Speaker 1: and I wish I would have gotten myself out of
Speaker 1: those relationships a lot sooner. I'm grateful with them because again,
Speaker 1: I did learn, I grew, I matured, I realized what
Speaker 1: I wanted and didn't want in a person and what
Speaker 1: I wanted to change within myself. But if there's any
Speaker 1: advice that I can give you, guys when it comes
Speaker 1: to relationship, is really giving yourself the time to heal
Speaker 1: between relationships if you're a serial monogamous like myself from
Speaker 1: my marriage that lasted less than a year. I think
Speaker 1: I gave myself what like six months before I dived
Speaker 1: into my relationship with the media, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I did a lot of work. I did therapy, but
Speaker 1: I feel and to be honest, to be quite frank,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it was enough time because I'm
Speaker 1: still learning and I'm still like catching myself doing things
Speaker 1: here and there that I'm not necessarily proud of or
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt the person that I'm with.
Speaker 1: So that's the best advice I can give you, guys.
Speaker 1: And for those of you that are listening that aren't
Speaker 1: in a relationship yet, but want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship and a healthy relationship. My big sister advice to
Speaker 1: you is, and I'm sure you've seen this in quotes
Speaker 1: and somewhere on Instagram, become the person you want to meet.
Speaker 1: So whatever it is that you are looking for in
Speaker 1: a partner, make sure that you are leading by example,
Speaker 1: that you're first doing those things, because we will attract
Speaker 1: somewhat of what we are or the things that we
Speaker 1: need to heal. So that's why I'm telling you it
Speaker 1: is important to take that time to heal yourself, to
Speaker 1: really figure out what you really want, who you are,
Speaker 1: what you want out of a healthy relationship before stepping
Speaker 1: into one. And on the other side of the token
Speaker 1: may be those of you that are listening are in
Speaker 1: a relationship that you're not too sure if you should
Speaker 1: be in anymore. And I was in that situation where
Speaker 1: for two years I knew I need to get myself
Speaker 1: out of this, but I just didn't know how to.
Speaker 1: And just for the sake of being in the moment
Speaker 1: and we had an event coming up, I wouldn't end
Speaker 1: the relationship because we had future plans, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like we had this fiesta we had to
Speaker 1: be at, or I was just waiting for the next
Speaker 1: fight to just say, okay, the next fight, for sure
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen, and you're doing such a disservice for yourself.
Speaker 1: The question is probably, well, how do you know if
Speaker 1: I'm not happy anymore? If I shouldn't be in this relationship.
Speaker 1: The first indication is if that person isn't emotionally available
Speaker 1: the way that you are, if they are not trying
Speaker 1: the way that you're trying to fix the issues, if
Speaker 1: you constantly find yourself chasing that person and being the
Speaker 1: first one to apologize and trying to fix it, like
Speaker 1: it's a two way street here. It has to be fair,
Speaker 1: you know, as much as possible, because there are times
Speaker 1: where it'll be, you know, the other way around. But
Speaker 1: that's one. That's an indication. Another indication is if you
Speaker 1: don't have peace. This is the biggest one. If you
Speaker 1: don't have peace, if this person is causing you more turmoil,
Speaker 1: more stress, more sadness, more depression, more anxiety than happiness.
Speaker 1: That person is making you more of a bad version
Speaker 1: of yourself and bringing out the worst in you, then
Speaker 1: that's when you know I need to get out of this.
Speaker 1: Is this person is hurting you. Of course, if they're
Speaker 1: hitting you, there's the messic violence. They're cheating like I
Speaker 1: would tell you, girl boy, get out of that, like
Speaker 1: no one deserves that. But if they're also verbally abusing
Speaker 1: you and they're not making you feel like your best self,
Speaker 1: all of those are indications of you're not in the
Speaker 1: right relationship. Because now that I'm in a healthy relationship,
Speaker 1: because it's not perfect, but it's a lot better than
Speaker 1: what I've had before. Now I'm like, damn, I kind
Speaker 1: of in a way a little bit wasted time on
Speaker 1: these people that didn't make me feel it's great, you know,
Speaker 1: And media tells me I'm beautiful every single day. He
Speaker 1: loves every part of my body, and he could be lying,
Speaker 1: and I'm probably, yeah, I'm not perfect, but it goes
Speaker 1: to show you like we all deserve and there's that
Speaker 1: one person that's going to love us and value that's
Speaker 1: the word, value us for who we are, flaws and all.
Speaker 1: Because I know I'm not perfect, and I have scars
Speaker 1: here or there, and I have stretch marks, and I
Speaker 1: have staid the light. But he feels that I'm the
Speaker 1: most and sees me like the most beautiful thing ever,
Speaker 1: and he makes me feel it more than anything. So
Speaker 1: if your partner is not making you feel that, making
Speaker 1: you feel worse, and you're having worse days than good days,
Speaker 1: then that's a huge red ass flag for you to say,
Speaker 1: peace out. This isn't for me. I no longer have
Speaker 1: peace in this relationship. Just think about it, Okay. Now
Speaker 1: moving on, I'm gonna touch certain subjects that I think
Speaker 1: are important for you guys to know. For instance, finances.
Speaker 1: I wish I would have saved a lot more money
Speaker 1: in my twenties, so I would suggest for you guys
Speaker 1: to start saving money, the sooner the better, for a
Speaker 1: rainy day, for a vacation, for whatever. Honestly, I think
Speaker 1: it is so important fifty dollars, twenty dollars, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you can just put to the side and
Speaker 1: pretend it does not exist. Even now in my thirties,
Speaker 1: it's like, wait, I asked myself, do I really need this?
Speaker 1: Is this a luxury or is this just a want?
Speaker 1: Is this a necessity? When you're buying something, you know,
Speaker 1: is this something that I absolutely need or is this
Speaker 1: just something that I desire? Ask yourself those questions when
Speaker 1: you go out to the mall and I do that,
Speaker 1: And there are times because on social media they get
Speaker 1: you and they're sending ads all the time and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's so easy to just press buy when I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't really need that, Jenney, that that's a waste
Speaker 1: of money, like really learning and understanding the value of
Speaker 1: money and how from one day to another we could
Speaker 1: have it and then we could not have it, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So for sure save whatever it
Speaker 1: is a little bit a lot. It's important now, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, if you can get your life insurance going,
Speaker 1: I would say do that sooner rather than later. I
Speaker 1: started getting my life insurance when I was I was
Speaker 1: in my twenties, you guys, I got my first life insurance.
Speaker 1: I have to now, just because I think it's of
Speaker 1: a responsible person to have that for your loved ones,
Speaker 1: for your protection. There are life insurances out there, you guys,
Speaker 1: that you can look into. That's kind of like a
Speaker 1: savings account as well, where you can put money in
Speaker 1: every year and it can go like if God forbid
Speaker 1: you pass away, you leave it to your beneficiary, to
Speaker 1: someone of your choice. Whatever the amount is. But also
Speaker 1: if you get to a certain age, that could be
Speaker 1: somewhat of like a savings account where you could pull
Speaker 1: that money out, the money that you've been investing in
Speaker 1: that life insurance. If you find yourself in a pickle,
Speaker 1: so life insurance. It's one thing that a lot of
Speaker 1: people don't talk about that. I'm just gonna say, big sister,
Speaker 1: your advice, look into it. Just saying now investing, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you, I wish I would have known this earlier.
Speaker 1: Investing your money in something that's going like a life
Speaker 1: insurance for instance. You know what I mean. Like I said,
Speaker 1: that's kind of that's somewhat of an investment. Investing in
Speaker 1: commercial properties, in residential property. If you have extra money,
Speaker 1: like invested in a business, it could be five thousand
Speaker 1: and two thousand. You can start a business now with
Speaker 1: the beauty of social media, you can start a small
Speaker 1: business with a small amount of money and grow from there.
Speaker 1: I do really believe now more than ever, Like my
Speaker 1: goal this year for me is to invest in properties
Speaker 1: Like now I'm ready and I'm like okay, instead of
Speaker 1: spending on dumb shit like I need to save my
Speaker 1: money and invest on something that's going to take care
Speaker 1: of my future, you know, because I don't have a
Speaker 1: four to oh one k. We gotta think about those
Speaker 1: things now. Another thing that your big sister wants to
Speaker 1: tell you is, and I always talk about it, therapy,
Speaker 1: you guys, Therapy will literally save your life. Getting therapy
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a weak person. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you are less than anyone or you are broken. That's
Speaker 1: not what it means. It means you are smart. Why
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of things that we can't
Speaker 1: talk about with our loved ones, with our partner, with
Speaker 1: our friends, and there are things we shouldn't talk about
Speaker 1: with anyone else but a therapist, someone that has an
Speaker 1: unbiased opinion that's gonna give you some straight up advice,
Speaker 1: you know, some life advice, therapy or life coaching. I'm
Speaker 1: huge on both. And I have a mentor, and I
Speaker 1: have a life coach, and I have a therapist. I
Speaker 1: have all three. Those things are important to me. I'd
Speaker 1: rather invest in my therapy, life coaching, mentorship than even
Speaker 1: in getting my hair extensions in. So it's something to
Speaker 1: think about, even if you can afford it. Once a month,
Speaker 1: once every two months, you guys, It's something that I highly,
Speaker 1: highly highly recommend for your mental health. There's so much
Speaker 1: power and vulnerability, and that's part of being vulnerable. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: aging gracefully, you guys. It could be two ways to this,
Speaker 1: because some people could say aging gracefully means don't get
Speaker 1: any botalks, don't get any fillers, like just age, you know, gracefully.
Speaker 1: Cool if that's what you want to do. Now. I
Speaker 1: love botalks, love filler, love that if you can afford it.
Speaker 1: I have my little fun on the side. I put
Speaker 1: a little money in there to make sure that I
Speaker 1: can give botox. I want to work to get botox.
Speaker 1: That's the way I want to age. But also part
Speaker 1: of aging gracefully is taking care of your insides, taking
Speaker 1: your vitamins, taking your greens, drinking green juices, working out
Speaker 1: is part of aging gracefully. Your skin care products, you guys,
Speaker 1: Wearing SPF every single day, men and women. I can't
Speaker 1: stress enough how important it is to protect yourself from
Speaker 1: the sun. I love the sun. The sun is my homie,
Speaker 1: but he can be kind of like a toxic little boyfriend,
Speaker 1: so you have to protect yourself from him. So wear
Speaker 1: your SPF at least SPF thirty. Wear it every single day,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if it's cloudy, it doesn't matter how old
Speaker 1: you are. It's never too early or too late to
Speaker 1: start SPF, you guys. But yes, all those things I mentioned, Vitamins,
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself, eating good you guys, giving your
Speaker 1: body instead of just eating to eat, it's eating to
Speaker 1: feed your body, to give it good soil so that
Speaker 1: it can be good back to you. So that's part
Speaker 1: of aging gracefully. Now we're entering our thirties. I feel
Speaker 1: like in your thirties, you kind of already went through
Speaker 1: a lot of shit in your twenties, and you kind
Speaker 1: of like know who you are, but you're like, how
Speaker 1: do I find my way? Now, let's talk about finding
Speaker 1: your purpose. So it takes a while, and it takes
Speaker 1: a lot of practice, meaning you have to be intentional.
Speaker 1: I love that word, you guys. You know this already
Speaker 1: on the Cheese and Chill podcast. I love intentional because
Speaker 1: that's what it's about, living your life with intent. It's
Speaker 1: knowing who you are before you can find your way,
Speaker 1: So finding your who before you find your way. Who
Speaker 1: am I? What do I want out of life? What
Speaker 1: am I here for because we all have a purpose.
Speaker 1: We all have a mission of godly purpose here on earth.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to be you know, an actress
Speaker 1: on TV and you touch a lot of hearts all
Speaker 1: at once, or a singer. It could be in a
Speaker 1: small community with your friends and family, with your co workers.
Speaker 1: It's what do I want to give the world, What
Speaker 1: I want to give back? What footprint do I want
Speaker 1: to leave on this earth? You know, and living your
Speaker 1: life with intent is part of living your purpose. Every
Speaker 1: single day, taking a step towards that and doing something
Speaker 1: positive and an act of kindness every day, not only
Speaker 1: for yourself. It starts with you being kind to yourself,
Speaker 1: but also for other people is part of your purpose
Speaker 1: and it just helps you live better. I feel also
Speaker 1: being okay with stepping out of your comfort zone. That's
Speaker 1: one thing that I've learned and I've embraced in my thirties,
Speaker 1: I think in our twenties, in our teens as well,
Speaker 1: of course even more so, we want to fit in
Speaker 1: and look the part and act the part. And now
Speaker 1: in my thirties, I'm like, no, I kind of have
Speaker 1: a little bit of fun stepping out of the box.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be kept in a box. I
Speaker 1: don't want for me to be predictable. You know, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I already expect that from her. No, I want to
Speaker 1: do things different. I want to take risks. And you
Speaker 1: should be okay with stepping out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: There's so much to learn and so much to grow from,
Speaker 1: like stepping out of what you're used to. That's huge,
Speaker 1: you guys. And I think your thirties is like the
Speaker 1: time to do it where you're like, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try something different. Also, boundaries, Boundaries are huge, you guys.
Speaker 1: And if you can learn them, the sooner the better.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you because for a lot of my life,
Speaker 1: I didn't have boundaries. I didn't know about boundaries until
Speaker 1: like later in my later like twenties. Really respecting your
Speaker 1: boundaries and other people's boundaries is crucial for your mental health,
Speaker 1: where it's okay to say no to other people in
Speaker 1: order to say yes to yourself. Sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: we're always trying to make other people happy and not
Speaker 1: disappoint anybody, that we cause ourselves to be sad and
Speaker 1: we feel empty, but because we've given so much to
Speaker 1: other people, and it's okay for you to say no.
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable with that. I don't have peace.
Speaker 1: I don't feel peace with that decision. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go there because I don't like it. Like it's
Speaker 1: okay for you to be your own individual person and
Speaker 1: say no. There's a lot of power in simply saying no,
Speaker 1: thank you. You don't have to be mean about it.
Speaker 1: It's just creating that boundary and learning that it's okay
Speaker 1: for you to sometimes disappoint other people in order to
Speaker 1: make yourself happy. So boundaries, they're good to have them.
Speaker 1: Don't have walls. Walls are different. I'm talking about boundaries
Speaker 1: of just being very clear as to what you want
Speaker 1: and you don't want. Now. Toxic people, Okay, now that
Speaker 1: we're talking about boundaries. Toxic people In my books, I
Speaker 1: call them toxic voices. They're always going to be around
Speaker 1: on social media, at work, at school, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: where you're at. Unfortunately, they exist. They're a part of
Speaker 1: the world. Like there's good, there's bad. The ying and
Speaker 1: the ying it is what it is. The faster you
Speaker 1: learn to just know that they exist and the faster
Speaker 1: you learn to ignore them, the better. Is it A
Speaker 1: lot easier said than done. Yes, it is, but when
Speaker 1: you learn to tune them out and just know it's
Speaker 1: just noise. It's just people that are trying to keep
Speaker 1: me from reaching my goal, from losing my focus. You're like,
Speaker 1: it's not even worth it. I'm not gonna pay attention,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna bark back, I'm not gonna comment back
Speaker 1: and talk crap back. I've learned now in my thirties.
Speaker 1: You guys, it's not even fucking worth it. Like I
Speaker 1: spent so much time, and I wasted so much time
Speaker 1: arguing and trying to prove a point meds. I depleted
Speaker 1: myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, trying to fight back when it's like,
Speaker 1: why am I going to waste my energy on people
Speaker 1: and on things that are stuck in their ways anyways?
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna be able to change your mind,
Speaker 1: so why even try? The best thing I could do
Speaker 1: is just keep going, go Ma Lisen Guandola los pro
Speaker 1: So if people are fucking crap, is because you're doing
Speaker 1: something right, So just keep on that road and try
Speaker 1: to tune them out. Of course, I defend myself in
Speaker 1: a classy way. You know. It's learning to find the
Speaker 1: way to do it. But the best thing you could
Speaker 1: do is ignore them. I do want to talk about
Speaker 1: habits and discipline. It's something that I talk about here
Speaker 1: on the podcast all the time. But being disciplined, okay,
Speaker 1: creating habits, creating a routine, especially in your thirties, that's
Speaker 1: when I started it, like hardcore, when I really was like, okay,
Speaker 1: there is a lot of importance in having a routine
Speaker 1: and being disciplined with that routine, and you just feel accomplished,
Speaker 1: You feel good, you feel better being consistent. The key
Speaker 1: to success is consistency. It's discipline, it's creating a habit,
Speaker 1: it's a routine. So just keep that in the back
Speaker 1: of your mind, Okay, whatever that means to you. And
Speaker 1: to close off you guys, something light and fun. I've
Speaker 1: learned that traveling is amazing. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: to Dubai or to Paris. You know. I understand traveling
Speaker 1: is expensive, but it also goes back to saving money
Speaker 1: and putting some money to the side to say, once
Speaker 1: a year, I want to give myself a chance to
Speaker 1: go see the world. It could even be a drive
Speaker 1: down to Palm Springs if you live in La to
Speaker 1: the mountains. It could be something small, a road trip,
Speaker 1: but to really step out again of your comfort zone
Speaker 1: and go and smell the fresh air and do something
Speaker 1: completely different from what you usually do. That's a great
Speaker 1: way of investing in yourself, in your future and your happiness,
Speaker 1: in your peace. Now, Like that's a huge part of
Speaker 1: my life now. I'm like, I want to take one
Speaker 1: or two big trips, and I need to find the
Speaker 1: balance between my work and my home and also what
Speaker 1: makes Jenna happy, you know what I mean. Like I
Speaker 1: can't focus all the time on just chiki chikichikis on work.
Speaker 1: It's like I had to set the rule and the
Speaker 1: boundary of telling my team guys, I need some time off.
Speaker 1: I need at least a day off of the week
Speaker 1: where I could just do whatever the hell I want,
Speaker 1: maybe two. And I need these days off because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go I don't know anywhere, and I have my
Speaker 1: little piggybink, my little savings for that. So that's just
Speaker 1: a little advice that I've learned a little later in
Speaker 1: my life, the importance of just resting, whatever that means
Speaker 1: to you, whether it's traveling to a beach or whatever
Speaker 1: you can afford, but really just resting your mind and
Speaker 1: your soul and finding that balance, you guys, between work
Speaker 1: and life and what makes you happy and seeing the
Speaker 1: world because there's so much beauty out there, you guys,
Speaker 1: take the time to stop and smell the roses. Wow,
Speaker 1: I feel like we've covered so much today. We definitely did. It.
Speaker 1: All came from my heart, from a big sister's perspective.
Speaker 1: I want the best for you guys all the time.
Speaker 1: You guys are my listeners. You guys have given me
Speaker 1: so much and this is my way of giving back
Speaker 1: to you guys. And feel free to share this episode
Speaker 1: with anyone you think would benefit from it. This is
Speaker 1: an advice episode from your big sister Cheeky's or actually,
Speaker 1: should I say Jane, So make sure you share it.
Speaker 1: I hope it can help all of you. Now, you
Speaker 1: guys know we always end Cheeky's and Chill with a quote,
Speaker 1: so the quote for today is directly to you. Okay,
Speaker 1: when life's hills become too steep to climb on my own,
Speaker 1: my sister me Okay, takes my hand and reminds me
Speaker 1: that I didn't have to climb it alone to begin with.
Speaker 1: So this one is from my heart to yours. Even
Speaker 1: if I'm younger than you, especially if I'm older than you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
Speaker 1: I want to be your big sister. So that's what
Speaker 1: Chee's and Chill Dear Cheeky's is all about. So thank
Speaker 1: you guys for listening, los qio, and thank you for
Speaker 1: making my life a better and happier place. Bessit does.
Speaker 1: Do you need advice on love, relationships, health emas. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited to share with you that my Cheekys and
Speaker 1: Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week.
Speaker 1: I'll be answering all your questions.
Speaker 2: Just leave me a voice message betters one midday. All
Speaker 2: you have to do is go to speak pipe dot com,
Speaker 2: slash Cheekys and Chill Podcasts and record your questions.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and v Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me
Speaker 1: Cheeky's That's c h i q U i s. For
Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast and check
Speaker 1: us out on YouTube.